Can Body Language Be Used To Enhance Your Performance?

Hey, folks, it's Ben Greenfield. And when you're thinking about your fitness, the way that you eat and your health, body language may not be something that comes to mind. But the fact is that it's really important when it comes to making positive changes in your life and basically trying to get yourself fit or perform at a higher level. Well, I have on the line with me today a body language master. His name is Kirk Duncan. He trains people in how to read body language. He does quite a bit of it himself, and the guy really knows his stuff. I actually had the opportunity to see Kirk present what he knows about body language for about two hours down in Utah earlier this year. And it's pretty amazing the extent of his knowledge when it comes to just seeing how the way you move and how the way you act affects the way that you're approaching certain things in life, and also the changes that you can make in the way that you move and the way that you act to effect positive change. So, Kirk, thank you so much for coming on the call today.

Oh, I appreciate it. This is awesome. Thank you.

Well, you kind of have a unique job. I think people have probably seen that show on tv. What's the show that's popular right now that has people reading body language.

Oh, Lie to Me. Or catching feedback?

I think Lie to Me is the one that I'm thinking of. And that guy's obviously, you know, solving crimes with body language, I think, is the general gist of that show. But, you know, in terms of what you do on a daily basis and kind of the way that your life works, being a master in body language, what is it that you do when you. When you kind of wake up in the morning?

Okay, that's a funny question. I love it, though. You know, I. The whole. The whole piece about bilingual Kirk Duncan that, you know, my. Come from. Can I go there first? Can I just like where I come from?

Yeah, go for it.

One of these guys here I am, Kirk Duncan on the Earth, and I come from this place of being massively overweight and broke, no money, and not liking who I am. I mean that because there could be quite a number of people out there who could relate to that, you know, that have come from that area. And along my travels, I've been fascinated with how people break free of cycles or they break free of their tendencies or habits. And I remember the day I woke up and I sat on the edge of my bed, and I was sitting there, my shoulders were slumped over. They were just kind of curved in my Head was hanging low. I dragged my feet as I walked. And I looked, you know, instead of looking straight out in front of me, I looked down more than I looked up. And I remember sitting there on the edge of my bed, just going, oh, my goodness, what am I going to do? It's another day, it's another the same stuff. And you know, it's just. This drives me nuts. I'm going through the same stuff all over again. It's just another day of the week. While I was sitting there, I. As I was looking down, I felt myself being down on myself as I was looking down. And just for like all joking sake, I said, they're just going, oh, you know, it'd be so funny if all of a sudden I just looked up. And also I just felt better. And I'm sitting there on the edge of my bed, having left my bed yet. And I remember sitting there looking at the floor. And all that was playing in my mind is everything that was wrong, bad, twisted, broken, all the sad stuff, all the problems and everything. And I decided to do something different. And I lifted my eyes up. I mean, my eyes went. At first my head wouldn't even move because my head was like stuck in that down position. I had my eyes look up and then I couldn't quite see the ceiling. So I lifted my head up a little bit and I just sat there for just a couple minutes, just two, three minutes, looking at the ceiling. And the weirdest thing happened. When I'm looking at the ceiling, the thoughts in my head started to shift. Instead of all the stuff I was thinking about looking at the floor, looking at the ceiling, I noticed that the direction of my thoughts changed and I started giggling. I went, oh, right, like that really matters. And I went back to looking. You know, I was thinking about the fact that I was looking up instead of looking down. And I just joked about it. And I thought, there's no way that could just change how my mind was working. And so I looked back at the floor and boom, I was back in the same train of thought about everything that was down about my life. So then I looked back up at the ceiling. It's like, what, I sit there and play with it for a little bit going, what is messed with my head? This doesn't do anything. There's no way. There's no way. This doesn't make a difference. And so I started playing with it. And through that, that day, I remember when I walked in the mirror and I'm looking at myself and you know, because now I'm going to play the game today. I'm going to look at the ceiling more than I look at the floor. If someone asks me a question, I'm going to look up instead of look down. I'm going to see what happens even when I got to the bathroom. And I think most people do this, they go look at them. They kind of get that visual appearance, like, okay, here's where I'm chubby. Here's where I'm not healthy. Okay, I'm missing muscle here. Just kind of assessing my demeanor. And my shoulders were kind of curved in, and I strained out my shoulders. Like they're going to be broad shoulders. And at that time, I looked up at the ceiling with my shoulders all squared out, and I kind of balanced my stance. Instead of having my feet too close together and or too far apart, I kind of balanced them out. You know, like they say, shoulder width apart type stance. I stood there and something was different. And I just. I cannot forget that day that something changed. Like, the view I had of myself started to change. Like in these short little couple seconds of moments of playing around with where my eyes were, where my head was, what my shoulders were doing, where my feet were at. And this is way before I even knew the whole body language world. I just wanted to feel better. And so now, like, if I wake up today, I know what to do. I wake up, I straighten my shoulders out, I look up, I go to the mirror, I look at myself. And no matter what I see, I've got to create that image in my mind of where I want to go. And I know that the way in which my body is standing, moving, and positioned dramatically affects that. It's either going to be the result of my thoughts, or I can use my body language to change my results. Does that make sense?

Yeah, it does make sense. And that's a really, really cool lead. In an interesting story from that point, did you start doing things like losing weight and kind of getting more healthy?

Well, this part was really funny, too. I noticed that my viewpoint of my stomach was that I hated my stomach. I hated it because it was too big. I mean, I had reached my maximum weight I'd ever been at. I was 325 pounds. That's the heaviest I'd been. And I hated my stomach. And I noticed that I. Well, I realized that I had got into this position of hating what my stomach looked like. And so here I am. I'm to the bottom of all bottoms of like, you know, I'm broke. I'm Fat. I, you know, my confidence is low. So I started messing around with my, where I was looking, how I was standing. So I remember standing in front of the mirror. This is the first time I was on a different day. But I remember rubbing my tummy and going, oh, I love my tummy, I love my tummy. And I was cracking up. My wife walks around the corner, goes, what are you doing? I go, I love my tummy. She goes, no, you don't. I go, well, guess what? Today is the day that I'm going to start loving my tummy. And you know, I know probably a lot of people on that are listening that would get this. Is that what we say or the energy or the thoughts and feelings that we have towards something really affects the performance of that. And so I started to love my body. Even though at this point I'm still my heaviest and my fattest. And I got more rolls and pudginess all over place than I've ever had in my life. I had to switch. And because I switched and how I was thinking about myself and the way I was talking about myself, and I was literally standing differently, you know, even rubbing my tummy, things started to shift. And it wasn't until after the number started coming down from the 325 and it started dropping down that I started to realize it does matter how I stand. It does matter how I hold my shoulders. It matters, I mean, matters in a huge way.

Interesting. So have you found that that type of approach has been able to change other people's lives? And if so, you know, how have you been able to discover that?

Well, you know, right Now I've done 2,135 presentations. And in all these different presentations, what I notice is that people that are overweight look down more and their shoulders are curved in. Now, some people say it's because they're overweight, but when I have people stand on my stage teaching and I have them put their shoulders back and lift their head up, their face lightens up. I mean, it's like someone turned on a light in their face. And I, and at these body language shows that I do, you know, I give them a charge like, okay, I want you to do this. I want you to get up in the morning and stand like this and be like this. You don't have to say anything, just stand like this and look at yourself in the mirror and see what happens the next couple days and then email me, tell me how you feel. And because of the response of the people and them Telling me how their quote, unquote, my whole life changed. That's the common phrase. My whole life changed because the way that they began to stand, the way they looked at themselves, they started to improve their choices. Choices of exercising, choices of eating. It's not the answer, but it definitely massively affects how they're going to make their choices. So I've learned that from watching people on stage and them teaching me what the difference is. Not for me studying somewhere. My book of study is the human population. And so after this many presentations and watching the common response that they love it, that's what they teach me, is that good stuff.

You know, I forget the coach that told me this at one point for swimming, because I do a lot of swimming to train for triathlon, but they advised me that when I walk out onto the swim deck to get in the water, that I should walk tall, proud, keep my chin up. Basically just. Basically feel like I own the pool before I get in there.

That's good.

That was a piece of advice that I received. But when you're looking at fitness, fat loss, getting a better body, losing that belly that you love, whatever the case may be, how can body language be used to get what we want? Like, what are some practical ways that folks can actually achieve their goals by changing their body language? You know, you talked about looking up and drawing the shoulders back. Or are there other kind of, kind of practical lifestyle tips that you give to folks?

Absolutely. Quick little story here. We were in a store. I have three boys, and my two oldest boys were with me. And as we were driving to the store, I was telling them, you know, about a class I just done and how these people, you know, like, their. The way they saw themselves had changed so dramatically. And they're kind of ribbon me like, yeah, dad, whatever. You're just trying to tell us all this good stuff to make you sound good. I'm like, no, you guys, it really happens this way. And they were laughing at me and whatnot, because they're kids. I mean, it's their dad. Come on. It's just her dad. So anyway, we walk into the store and we're in the store for about 10 minutes, and this person walks up to me and goes, sir, can you help me with something? And it's somebody who's shopping at the store, and they're talking to me, and I go, now I don't know where this stuff is at? And they go, oh, well, can you give me suggestions of what I should buy? And I go, now why are you talking to me, I don't work here. And they go, oh, sorry, you looked like the owner of the company. And my kids looked at me and looked at this person. And I looked at my kids like, see, it does matter how you stand. And no sooner than right after that, like, just a few minutes later, another person walked up and my kids just rolled around like, oh, shoot, Dad's right. That here I am standing in the store, and the way in which I stood gave off the presence that I owned the store. And that's why I giggled when you said when your coach taught you to act or stand like you own the pool. That right there, that mentality, I would have to say, is so critical in the world out there today as a parent and as a business owner. And I say parent because too many parents right now are, I'm going to say it. Sloppy with their body language. The parents, they stand in such a way that it looks like nobody owns the home. Their shoulders are drooped, their heads drooped. They're standing on one leg. And I'm going to give some tips here in just a second, but they're standing on one leg. And so the kids are looking at their parents going, you don't even look like you're taking charge. They don't look. They sound like it. Because parents are trying to be more verbally strong with their kids. But what kids feed off of is what their parents look like. Is mom standing there on both feet balanced, or is mom standing on one leg looking like I can knock her off balance? And kids right now really feed off of parents who look unstable because they know they can get their way with their parents. And the same thing with business owners, that clients, when they see the business owner, if that business owner doesn't look like they're standing there owning the space that they're standing in or the way that they're standing in their office or at the counter. If they don't look solid and balanced and look that way, they will literally take their business somewhere else. Okay, so here's a couple of things. One, is that stance balanced on both legs. Too many people today are quickly going to stand on one leg. And the common phrase out there is, oh, I just. It's more comfortable to stand on one leg. It's not from a chiropractic point of view, it's not comfortable to stand on one leg because it throws everything out of balance. And so when a person is balanced on both legs and their shoulders are not. I don't know what the word is curved in Drooped in. I don't know what fancy word to use there, but just the shoulders are nice and pulled back, not too far. And then the other big piece is their chin is up. Not in a snooty up, but just that the chin is level. The head's not tilted down too far, but that chin is up. When the chin's up, the shoulders are nice and square, male or female, and the feet are balanced and the weight is balanced on both those legs. Oh, my. That is a stance that people just love. They're attracted to it because it looks like the person is in balance, which then translates into that person is in order. And that's the kind of people. That's what kids want to work with, with parents, and that's what clients want to work with business owners is somebody who's balanced and in order.

And so when. When we're, say, walking around the gym doing a workout, or we're walking out onto the pool deck to hop in the pool to swim, or maybe we're even standing around on the starting line of something like a triathlon or a marathon, that's the type of posture that we should be aiming for.

Yes.

Gotcha.

Yep. Yeah. And if somebody was looking at a person, they might think, wow, that person likes themselves, or, wow, they're confident, or, wow, they're very sure of themselves. And there's been a lot of negative connotation out there that that's a bad thing. But yet those people that look that way and give off that type of message, they're the ones who are successful, Those are the ones that are healthy. Those are the ones who are moving forward, who are not stuck.

Interesting.

It's a very positive place to be.

Now, I'm curious if we wanted to geek out on this a little bit and talk about the physiology or the brain chemicals or something of that nature and how body language affects health or affects fitness. Have you ever run into any research that shows that there's actually something going on inside your brain or inside your body when you're doing something like pulling your shoulders back or. Or looking up or walking more tall and proud or standing on both feet or using any of these mechanisms that you recommend?

Oh, and if. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we could geek out on this. There's inside the brain. And I still tell my mom to this day that if I would have studied harder in school, I could remember all these really smart terms. And so I'm going to give you my cowboy term version. I was like, how I explain it if we're out on the farm, cowboys.

Cool. That's fine.

Okay, so here I am from Lander, Wyoming. I love the cowboy world because. Just simple phrases. Okay? So conscious, subconscious, what happens is inside of our brain. And from a chemical standpoint, when we are stand. When our body language is a result of the way in which we allow ourselves to be. So, like, there's a default stance that we have when we stand, when we go to push ourselves into a new stance, it causes the chemistry inside of our brain to dump new chemicals because, oh, shoot, I know I'm going to say this wrong. I'm not going to try. I'm not going to try. They're very, very big words. But the way the brain works on the inside is that as the message is sent down through the. The cells in the brain, that comes a point where there's a chemical that is released from one leg of a cell to the next leg of the receiving cell. And the amount of those chemicals that are transferred over there, it creates a new message. And in my learning of this, that I can create new messages, there is power or energy that's stored inside of me that I didn't know I had because I never created a new path. And when I forced upon myself a new stance back in the beginning, when I forced upon myself a new, more confident stance, I didn't realize what I was beginning to do was to train my brain how to create new pathways for other things I want in my life. So putting myself into a new stance and holding that, and me forcing. Literally forcing my muscles to be in a new way and my brain to, like, adjust, adjust, adjust. Created a whole new path in my life for goals that I wanted. New financial level. I wanted new relationships. I wanted that. I created that whole process that my brain got accustomed to. Oh, Kirk's at it again. He wants to change the way he's doing it. But literally, I know from the other smart people around me that there's chemicals that it switches from. The amount of the chemical deposits that happen literally transforms the receiving and sending of the messages inside the brain and creates those new paths.

Interesting.

Say all those smart words.

So basically, it sounds like kind of like better nerve transmission and maybe even building new neurons or new brain cells or something of that nature in terms of the. The areas that you want to grow in when you change your body language as you're in those situations.

Absolutely. Because I. Yeah, because the body. If I can't change my body, how do I expect to change my income?

Mm.

If I can't change my Body stature. How do I expect to change my relationship between my wife and I, so it's better, or between myself and my boys, my. My body is it. This is me. And if I can't run me, if I can't control what I'm doing, how do I expect to control anything on the outside of me? Yeah, you know, if I want to raise my. If I want to raise my financial level and I can't cause myself to stand taller, really, like I'm really going to get my finances to go higher, but I can't cause myself to stand tall for more than 10 minutes. It's like that just to own the world that you have or your body, own that and learn how to manage that, then everything else around you becomes more simple to manage.

So along the same lines, you know, if someone, let's say someone is actually in the middle, in the heat of competition, they're running a marathon, maybe they're. They're riding a bike in the middle of a. Of a triathlon. You know, maybe they're. They're even, you know, doing any, you know, a weightlifting competition or, you know, a tennis match or anything of that nature. I know these are all really different sports, but in terms of body language, you know, have you ever. Have you ever run into anything that kind of shows that people can change what they're doing during an event to allow themselves to achieve more, perform better there?

I'll tell you the one key thing that I've heard from athletes that I've worked with and other people that those athletes know. There's a tendency when in competition, right before or during that to get really focused is to look down. To look down within a person's self. And you can see that through images, photographs, and even watching video or TV of people who are competing. Like right now, I'm imagining a tennis competition that I saw where they got done, and now the score is close, and it's down to the last couple moments here before who's going to win. And they look down. You know, looking down does look down inside of yourself. A key factor here is most of the time, if a person has emotional. Emotional experiences that they've stored up in their life and they're still holding inside their body, that those emotions can be tapped into and distort that person's ability. And so I know it's kind of going off on a little tangent, but I want to just suggest that a key factor to owning your body language is to release as much negative emotion as possible. And exercise is a Powerful way to do that. And when, if you want to tap into everything that you have inside of you in the form of a mental focus or all the energy is to balance the amount of time you look down and the amount of time that you look up. Watch athletes, when they finish, or they're in the middle of a game, or it's halftime, or they're. They're taking a break for a moment, and you'll see them looking down, and you'll see other athletes looking up to focus. My suggestion that I have to repeat is to balance that, because when we look down and we are concentrating, the bottom side of our head rushes to the forward, the front part of our mind and is giving more nutrients and everything to the front part of our brain where, when we're looking up and now rushes to the back. And so if we balance that out, we'll have more of our, how do they say it? Athletes, what they tell me is by balancing that, they're now taking on more of that whole brain experience, and not only looking down, only tapping into that energy, that power, that knowledge, that inspiration by looking down, but to balance both of those. So if a person is competing, remember, balance, that's the key phrase in all of that, is balance. If you're going to look up, also have moments where you're looking down. You're going to be looking to the left while you think. Also look to the right while you think. If you're going to stand on one leg, balance it by standing on the other leg. But to keep that constant balance in whatever you're doing. Did I answer your question?

Yeah. It does make sense that it seems like anytime you tilt the head down, especially during physical activity, it does seem to affect the way that you move. Specifically, you'll notice that a lot of the good marathoners out there, a lot of the good cyclists, even a lot of the good swimmers, they're looking just slightly forward. There's always that slight upward tilt of the chin, and it seems like that's a constant among a lot of performers, is looking forward. But also the things that you went over when you talked about just changing your life's outlook and the decisions that you make in terms of health and fitness, and that is basically having the shoulder blades squeezed back, the tummy drawn in, and standing tall a little bit. A lot of those things that you went over, I've definitely seen folks doing during an event. So, yeah, it does make sense. Now, what about eating? When it comes to dieting, nutrition, any body language tricks out there to Help people to take better charge of their nutrition and the way they eat, whether it be their appetite, cravings, or maybe how much they eat when they're sitting at the table, that type of thing.

This is where it switches from. Well, there's two parts here. One, it goes inside. It goes inside. So when a person is eating, I really believe that there's body language when it comes to the inner organs of who we are, that there's some immediate feedback that we get from the foods that we eat. I know some people think I'm nuts for saying this, but I remember one time I was getting into the cupboard looking for a snack, and I was roaming for a snack, and I stopped for a moment and went, well, actually, what should I eat right now? And I'm not kidding. There's like a message from the inside that went, oh, he's asking John. Broccoli. We need broccoli. Get broccoli. And I noticed the thought crossed my mind. Oh, my gosh, broccoli. Are you kidding? That sounds gross. And the message was very strong. No, we need broccoli. So I went into the fridge, grabbed some broccoli out of there, and started eating it. It's in this moment in my life where I was really tuning into what my body wanted in the form of nutrition. I really, really believe that there, on the inside of us, there is a language of our organs that are speaking to us, that there are things that we are craving or hungering that are nutritionally impactful to our survival and our top performance. And when I find myself, after I eat, if I find myself slumped over or sitting in a way, like say, dinner's over and I'm sitting on the couch and I feel this heaviness, or I see my shoulders drooping over, I now know the food that I ate had just dropped my energy level. It's dropped my overall positive negative feeling going through my body. And I take note, okay, that food I just ate just now affected my whole stature.

Interesting.

And so when I had a bilingual show and I'm seeing somebody up on stage, I'll ask, when they're really drooped over, I'll ask them, what did you eat? What did you eat in the last three, four hours? And most of the time, when a person is standing in a very. I call it my. In my mind, I call it. They're in a hangover, you know, because their head's hanging over their shoulders hanging over. Their hands are very. I call it floppy or loose, and their feet are pointing in two different directions. I know that the food that they just ate threw them off course. Like, they have no direction, they have no power, and they're suffering. And their body language says it from the foods that they just ate. And then in the same class, somebody will get up there and they'll be standing tall, strong feet pointing forward, and I'll use that as an example and ask them what you just eat in the last couple hours. And 99% of the time, the person will sit there and go, hey, man, I just had myself this and this and this. And it's just all the good, yummy things to eat. Healthy, yummy things. But it dramatically affected the way that their body could stand. Eat good, healthy food, you stand stronger. Eat junk, eat crap, you don't look like crap.

So don't. Just pay attention to the way that you perform after a meal or something like that. Pay attention to what happens to your actual body language.

Yeah, look at yourself and see how you're standing and you'll know if that food lifted you or pulled you down. There's a big piece in that. When I hold mentoring appointments and a client will walk in, I watch how they walk in and sit down. And I can tell, I mean, if what their eating habits are like just by how they sit, how they walk in, I can tell if they're eating junk food or not.

Gotcha. Interesting.

Then I know that affects their brain and their decision making abilities, you know, and then I know what's really affecting them on the inside.

So kind of a recap for people who are listening right now who have all this information kind of floating around inside their heads. Most people are, you know, they're not necessarily sitting in front of their computer. They might be off driving around or perhaps standing in line or whatever else while listening to this interview. If you were to give people just a few quick tips, like toe to head, here's what you can do right now to feel better, literally. For someone who is listening right now, what would be some of those tips that you would give them?

Okay, number one, spend some time. If you're driving or sitting in your office or wherever you're at, you got to find somewhere where you are spending time looking up and pondering about your life. Just, I mean, like two, three minutes, very, very short amount of time. But look up and think about your life because you can't help but have vision about who you are and it will lift you. So looking up. The second one is everywhere you go. Do your best to keep your chin up, keep it up. I mean, Even if you're having just a. Just a terrible day, keep your chin up. It keeps that head balanced, and you will be treated with a high level of respect from people around you. And you could be having the worst day of your life, but still have respect happen. People too many times, drop their chin. People perceive they're down. Some will pick them, some will console them too far, make them a pity party. But keep that chin up. And another key factor, too, is balance yourself on both legs and keep your feet pointed straight. There's a tendency to get sloppy with our feet and when we're standing around people, let them point in all different kinds of directions. Show people that you are intentional about the direction you're going, and you'll see a very high level of positive response from people with a chin that's up, eyes that are open, the legs that are balanced, and the feet that are pointing in a very intentional direction. That right there is a very simple stance, but it makes such a huge impact. Like they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. They will take a picture of you in one second in their mind. Their first look at you, they will take a picture, and that is worth a thousand words within that first second, no matter what comes out of your mouth, they will believe the image in their mind more than what you say. Interesting, because you can't say a thousand words in a second, and by the time it's two seconds, they've taken a second picture of you. Now they've got 2,000 words on you.

Mm.

And it goes on and on. You cannot convince somebody that you are different than what you appear. There's no way. And when they walk away from you, they will forget whatever you said within two to three days. They'll forget it. They'll forget most of it, but they will remember what you look like. They cannot erase that image in their mind.

Gotcha. Well, folks, if you're listening in, Kirk's website is 3.3Key Elements.com. that's the number. 3Key Elements.com. i will link to that website in the show notes. He's got some videos on there. He's got a lot of information about the trainings that his company does for folks, whether you're a corporation or a group of individuals. He's got his body language show, which I went to, which was very interesting and extremely educational. So I'd recommend that you check out Kirk's website, and a lot of the information that you need for further resources on body language is right there. So, Kirk, thank you so much for coming on the Call today and sharing this stuff.

Hey, you rock. Good job of what you're doing. Love. Me, too. Good job.

All right.

Thank you, Kirk.