Fit Soul Chapter 8 - How to Find Your Purpose in Life

Hey, I'm Ben Greenfield and welcome to fit Soul Book Chapter 8. Every week I release a new chapter for you on this podcast every Sunday from my book Fit Soul, which you can actually get for free at fitsoulbook.com incidentally, a great companion book for that also just launched@spiritualdisciplinesjournal.com a fantastic way for you to systematize the type of journaling habits that I talk about in Fit Soul Book, and particularly including this this chapter. So here we go. Chapter 8 How to find your purpose in life in chapter 2 I described the vast importance of presence and how the growing awareness of the magic of presence influenced my own retooling of my purpose statement for life. But how exactly does one form a purpose statement and why is that important? Anyways, that's exactly what you're about to discover. Let's start here in my book Boundless, which you can get@boundlessbook.com, i describe in one chapter what I refer to as my most potent tip for incre your energy, vibration and the vibrations of all people around you. That tip was to identify your purpose in life, then enable yourself to achieve that unique purpose to the very best of your ability, all while loving God and loving others as fully as possible with that purpose. See, when it comes to being happy and living a long time, it's not your 38th ayahuasca trip. Relentless pursuit of six pack abs, crushing a new workout, personal record, finally discovering the perfect diet, engaging in freewheeling polyamory and open relationships, or any other recent infatuation of the health, wellness and longevity movement I've witnessed so many times. All flesh and blood is like a plant that eventually withers and dies. Just look around. The fastest track athlete will eventually be defeated by muscle loss, neural degradation, arthritis. The most beautiful supermodel in the world will not be on the COVID of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue when she's 97 years old. Even wealthy, powerful CEOs who can throw money at nearly every problem eventually get betrayed by their bodies and die. Yes, we fade. We wither away. As first Peter 1:24 in the Bible says, all people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall. What is in fact contributing most to your energy vibrations at any given moment isn't your beauty or your fitness or your accomplishments, but your soul. Therein lies your ability to be, as the title of my last book alludes to. Truly boundless. I even have a tattoo I Emblazoned onto the skin of my shoulder when I was just 20. It's the Japanese kanji symbol for ki, which is also known as chi, soul, spirit, chakra, and prana. That invisible, boundless life force that flows through all of us. Caring for this all encompassing energy of my body and fueling it with the spiritual disciplines and union with God is how I live my life. See, true and lasting happiness is not achieved by external circumstances, nor your thoughts, nor your intentions, nor even your feelings, but rather your soul. In his book Soul Keeping, author John Wartburg defines the soul as that aspect of your whole being that correlates, integrates and enlivens everything else. He writes that we all have two worlds. An outer world that is visible and public and obvious, and an inner world that can be chaotic and dark or can be gloriously beautiful. In the end, the outer world fades and all you're left with then is your inner world. But ironically, the more obsessed we are with ourselves, our fitness, our cognitive performance, our finances, or our food, the more we tend to neglect our souls. When your soul is not centered in the right place, you tend to define yourself by your accomplishments, your physical appearance, your title, or your social circles and friends. But then when you lose any of these attachments, you tend to lose your identity. I've experienced this myself when I've gotten injured or sick or had a poor race or workout and felt like I was losing my happiness and transitioning to a lower level of energy vibration because I was losing my shaky identity as an athlete or as a healthy person. Suddenly, the emptiness of those shallow pursuits can become distinctly magnified. Perhaps this is why one of my favorite Bible verses, Mark 8:36, which I actually introduced to you in the introduction of Fitzoul, says, what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and yet forfeit his own soul? So how do you connect and care for your soul? Well, I'll tell you how. You have to ask yourself what's the core part of you that you want folks to talk about at your funeral? In other words, what is your purpose? If you're not clear on this, ask some people who know you pretty well, like your immediate family or close friends, to describe to you why they think God put you on this planet and what the unique skills and talents are that seem to flow naturally from you. Ask them what they think should be written on your gravestone. Ask them what they think your unique purpose is. I'll hazard a guess it's not that you were the best exerciser or that you ate an amazing, flawless diet, or that you had gorgeous skin, or that you made oodles of money. But you can't stop there. It's not enough to just identify your purpose, which is a process I'll teach you more about how to do shortly. To truly connect with and care for your soul, you must also connect with your inner, inner self and ask yourself this one question. What aspect of my life can I change today that will allow me to care for my soul so I can identify and achieve that purpose? Maybe it begins with a meditation practice, maybe stepping into a church, maybe mending a broken relationship, maybe stopping to just breathe and be present, maybe dropping a relentless pursuit of a better body and brain and instead realizing your approach has been horribly skewed. And that to truly achieve deep, meaningful satisfaction in life, you must begin to care for the most important, important part of you that will exist for eternity, and begin to share that discovery with the rest of the world by living your entire life based on your core purpose, no matter what it is that must change, you'll find that you must often radically change your environment to radically change your habits. That might mean staying in bed an extra 10 minutes to read your Bible or do a gratitude journaling practice, ditching the evening Netflix binge to spend time with God or your family. Taking a weekend day of rest and recovery to go and volunteer at a homeless shelter, neighbor's garden or soup kitchen rather than going on a two hour hike or playing catch up with phone calls or doing back to back workouts. An all too common Sunday habit of many of the fitness enthusiasts with whom I hang. So let me ask you this. What is your purpose? How alive is your soul so that you can identify and fuel that purpose? Now take a deep breath. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Do you sense your spirit? Do you sense your soul? Do you feel it? It's there. It might be shriveled up and dry and neglected, but it's there, ready for you to grow and nurture it. Take one more deep breath in through your nose, smile to yourself and breathe out. You're an amazing soul. You're here for a purpose. While you're convinced that having a purpose is of pretty significant importance in your life, if so, and if you need help identifying or developing your purpose and your personal why, then keep listening. How to find your purpose in life so now we get down to brass tacks. How exactly does one identify their purpose in life? I've studied up on this quite a bit personally, and there are plenty of purpose finding materials and resources I've thoroughly read and reviewed. Some of my favorites are books like Claim youm Power by Mastin Kipp, Limitless by Jim Kwik, Personality Isn't Permanent by Benjamin Hardy, the Values Factor by John demartini, Don't Waste youe Life by John Piper, True north by Bill George, the Lifebook Course by John and Missy Butcher, and even websites. And I'll link to all of this, by the way, if you go to fitsoulbook.com chapter8 that's fitsoulbook.com chapter the number eight websites like the Life Purpose Quiz, the why stack. Start with why and why Institute. Well, that's a lot of content about purpose. So do you now have to drop everything and spend the next three months of your life reading all of what I just told you? Well, maybe you'd probably come out the other side a better, more purposeful person. But one area in which I think I can do you a convenient service is to succinctly distill into a few key tips what I personally learned from each of these books and websites and what I see as recurring themes and most purpose finding literature and resources like those I've just cited. I can guarantee that if you use the following steps and tips outlined shortly to identify your life purpose, you'll have harnessed 80% of the goodness from the resources I just told you about and be left with the option to delve into them in your own free time if you so desire. So here we go. I recommend as you listen, you maybe grab a journal or jot down your replies with a pen or pencil or paper. If you have the digital or the print version of Fit Soul, this would make it easier. You can get that@fitsoulbook.com you can. And Tuck that in a journal so you can step away from the computer, the E reader or the smartphone and into a different set and setting with few connections, distractions and notifications as you complete these exercises. Because you could just print those few pages of Fit Soul, have them tucked away and go to town. So here we go. How to find your purpose in life. STEP 1 what'd you like to do when you were a kid? See, you were born with a unique set of skills and talents, things you tend to be good at based on the way your brain is wired, the way your genetics are assembled and the way your body is built. As a result of these nature based traits along with nurture based influence from the family and household you grew up in, you likely tend to enjoy and be good at specific activities. For example, I grew up loving reading books, writing stories, learning via documentaries, courses and movies, teaching what I learned to others, singing songs, speaking in front of people, creating art, new ideas, and competing in sports and other games, even like chess and video games. So my own personal purpose statement, which I told you about in chapter two currently, because purpose statements can change, is to read and write, learn and teach, sing and speak, compete and create in full presence and selfless love to the glory of God. See how that purpose statement weaves in many of the same activities I loved when I was a kid? Well, those are the activities that still ignite my joy and put me into a state of flow. If you're a bit foggy about what you were actually like or what you enjoyed doing when you were a little boy or a little girl, then if your parents or relatives who were close to you at that time are still alive, invite them out to dinner or coffee. When you sit down with them, ask them what was I like when I was a kid? That's it. Then prepare to sit back, listen and take notes. How to find your purpose in life Step 2 what puts you in the zone now in the field of psychology, a flow state, also known as being in the zone, is a mental state in which you're performing an activity in which you're fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, enjoyment, and presence during the process of engaging in that activity. For example, if I sit down in front of a blank word document on my computer and begin to write, my concept of time vanishes. I'll write for hours. Words just flow out of me. I don't think about food or drink. I'm oblivious to everything else going on around me, even if I'm in a busy coffee shop. And I've always been wired that way. My wife, on the other hand, absolutely detests writing and would rather walk on a bed of nails than pen an essay. However, if you plant her in front of a blank canvas and give her a set of paintbrushes and a bit of oil or watercolor, she'll absolutely bloom with joy as she paints for hours on end, entering her own zone with a satisfied smile on her face. I, on the other hand, tend to painfully cringe as I forcefully attempt to make art happen on a blank canvas. So what puts you in the zone at this point in your life? Writing? Art. Craftsmanship like woodworking or building something with your hands. Gardening. Exercising. Computer programming. Identify those activities and weave them into your purpose statement. I guarantee you'll find a great deal of overlap between those activities and what you enjoyed doing when you were a kid. How to find your purpose in life Step 3 what naturally comes easy to you now that might seem a bit redundant with the consideration of what you enjoyed doing when you were a kid and what puts you in the zone now, but it's important to take into account because if your purpose statement is built around those activities that naturally come easy to you, you'll be highly self actualized as you live out that purpose statement. Self actualized people are those who are significantly fulfilled, driven and joyful in their day to day activities. For self actualized people living out their true purpose in life, a day of work often feels like a day of play. And guess what? There's nothing to be ashamed about if work comes easy to you. Often. We have this belief pattern, maybe influenced by the traditional so called puritanical work ethic philosophy, that a day of work needs to be a day of drudge drenched in blood, sweat and tears. And we frequently believe that only at the end of a day of work can we take a deep sigh of relief and play, although we're typically so exhausted by the hard work that play is the equivalent of junk food, binges, video games or tv. But as Mark Twain said, if you find a job you enjoy doing, you'll never have to work a day in your life. Others have shared Twain's thoughts, like Stephen King who says, yes, I've made a great deal of dough from my fiction, but I never said a single word down on paper with the thought of being paid for it. I've written because it fulfilled me. Maybe it paid off the mortgage on the house and got the kids through college, but those things were on the side. I did it for the buzz. I did it for the pure joy of the thing. And if you can do it for the joy, you can do it forever. Steve Jobs noted that your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. Then there's Thomas Edison who said, I never did a day's work in my life. It was all fun. You get the idea. Work can just flow from you. When it does, and when it feels like play, that's another sign you're living out your true purpose. Sure, there'll be times when you experience what author Steven Pressfield refers to as the resistance rationalizing fear and anxiety, distractions, the voice of an inner critic and other elements that keep you from creating your authentic art, whatever that creation of art might be. But this resistance doesn't indicate you're not living out your purpose. That's just a day to day temptation. We all tend to face a temptation towards laziness or fear of the unknown, failure or embarrassment. You can learn to identify the resistance to living your purpose, embrace the resistance as a sign you're engaged in doing something impactful and then press on. And definitely read Stephen's book Do the Work. By the way, a quick note regarding that puritanical work ethic that I mentioned. I don't mean to throw the Puritans under the bus. In the book Exploring New England's Spiritual Heritage, author Garth Roselle describes how the Puritans were actually encouraged to identify their purpose in life with a lot of prayer and reflection, to take into account their natural gifts and inclinations, to seek the advice and confirmation of their friends and family, and to consider the practice of practical needs of the community in which they lived. Interestingly, those who are gifted for and inclined to so called sundry callings, the equivalent of a blue collar worker like farming, construction, horseshoeing, etc. Which in modern days could be the warehouse worker, or the firefighter, or the construction worker, or the custodian, they must seek to discover which of those callings is the best. And similarly, those who are privileged to study in what was called the schools of the prophets and at liberty to become schoolmasters or physicians or lawyers or ministers, were considered to have a special obligation to serve seek among these available options their very best calling. Regardless of what career was chosen, their callings were encouraged to conform to three basic principles. First, to serve the public good and seek one another's welfare. Second, to have gifts of body and mind suitable to that calling. Although they also believe that when God calls a person to a particular task, he also just provides the appropriate gifts to fulfill it. And then third, to be sure that the calling is from God by relying upon prayer, the guidance of Scripture, the counsel of friends, the encouragement of a community, and the existence of so called open door opportunity. Now if the vocation was considered to be homely or boring or ordinary, they focused upon performing that task nonetheless to the glory of God and the good of others. After all, Jesus himself girded himself with a towel and washed his disciples feet. If a Puritan was anxious about whether or not their work was successful, they were encouraged to cast their burden upon the Lord and to find contentment whatever the circumstance. So ultimately I don't think that work, especially working in our true purpose and calling, needs to be viewed as a daily drudge of sweat, blood and tears. But I do agree with the Puritan philosophy that no matter what your work is, it should be chosen carefully, according to your unique gifts and the counsel of God and friends and family should be done in full excellence, with a spirit of love towards others, with no complaining. And finally, should multiple purposes be available to somebody, the best purpose is the one most highly suited to your gifts. How to find your purpose in life Step 4 Summarize your purpose into one single, succinct statement you can memorize, and this next step will take practice. Write down all those things you love to do when you were a kid, those activities that put you into the flow now, and what naturally comes easy to you. Then connect the dots and try to express all those elements into one single, succinct purpose statement you can easily memorize. And again, for an illustrative example, my own purpose statement is to read and write, learn and teach, sing and speak, compete and create in full presence and selfless love to the glory of God. Before that, it was to empower people to live a more adventurous, joyful and fulfilling life. Keep your purpose statement specific, precise, concise, clear and goal oriented. Then write it down. It might be two to three paragraphs at first, then a paragraph, then a couple of sentences, then one sentence, then that same sentence, simplified. Kind of like writing a tweet and trying to condense it into 140 characters, refine it, edit it, write it again. Have no guilt about changing it a dozen times if need be. But you must, must, must make it short and easy to memorize. You can quickly recall and rely upon it when the bullets of the matrix of Life are flying at you and you need to remind yourself of why you are doing whatever you are doing. Finally, understand your purpose statement can change, as I've mentioned, as your passions and personality changes. C.S. lewis, one of my favorite authors of all time, once said, you are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. So your purpose statement during this current chapter of the book that is your life may change in a future chapter of your life. And that's okay. Don't feel guilty, flaky, or schizophrenic about that. Be open to change and do so by sitting down with your purpose statement on at least a yearly basis, reviewing it, analyzing it, praying over it, meditating upon it, and questioning it to get clarity on whether it still fully aligns with what your soul knows to be true or it God has revealed to you. Run it by friends and family members to get an objective opinion. Do that the first time you write your purpose statement and continue to do it for every future purpose statement that you create. How to find your purpose in life Step 5 Love God and love others with your purpose. Finally, no matter how good your purpose statement is, it will never be truly fulfilling or impactful if it's all about you. If the motivation behind and reason for your purpose statement is to make more money, own a better car, have a nicer home, attract successful people, run faster, get stronger, or achieve, achieve, achieve, then you'll never be truly happy and in the end your purpose will feel selfish, meaningless, empty and unfulfilling. Instead, once you've written your purpose statement sentence, you must go forth and love others with that purpose. Bless others selflessly with your purpose. Change the world with your purpose because you love people, not because you want to fulfill Maslow's hierarchy of needs or scratch your own back. Follow the Golden Rule with your purpose. Pursue your purpose with zero selfishness and in full love for your fellow human beings. And trust me, the rewards back to you will naturally come in due time. But the focus of living out your purpose statement should not be on your own happiness. Rather it should be on the happiness of others. That's what will, in a way that sneaks up on you without you even knowing it, truly make you happy. Furthermore, don't just love others with your purpose, but also love God with your purpose. After all, you were created as unique being in the image of God, and one of the greatest things you can do with your purpose is to wake up each morning and as one of my mentors once told me, do the very best thing that day with whatever God has put on your plate. By doing your work and living out your purpose each day with supreme excellence, you'll magnify and glorify the mightiest being this world knows. That's the greatest love and greatest gift you can give back to the Creator who put you here in the first place and bestowed upon you the unique skills, body and brain you've been blessed with. One of my favorite preachers, John Piper, puts it this way. We are not called to be microscopes. We are called to be telescopes. There's nothing and nobody superior to God. And so the calling of those who love God is to make his greatness begin to look as great as it really is. That's why we exist, why we were saved. As Peter says in 1st Peter 2:9, you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a whole holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you might proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. So our whole duty in life, therefore, can be summed up like this. Feel, think, and act in a way that will make God look as great as he really is. Be a telescope for the world of the infinite starry wealth of the glory of God. Ultimately, live your purpose in full love for others and for the magnification and glory of God. I guarantee the the impact of your life will be profound if that's the lens through which you see and the manner with which you live out your purpose. Summary I realize that's plenty to digest, so I'm going to stop there. So now it's simply time to calendar a time with your journal to address these thought exercises. What did you like to do when you were a kid? What puts you in the zone now? What naturally comes easy to you? And then summarize your purpose into one single, succinct statement that you can memorize. Then go out and love God and love others with your purpose. And finally, if you're curious or troubled about whether you truly have identified your purpose correctly, then consider these words from Brett McKay in his art of Manliness article titled you know you found you'd purpose when? Which I'll link to@fitsoulbooks.com Chapter 8 your life's purpose, whether as a profession, magnifier, human caretaker, faith promulgator, or cause catalyzer, is essential to find but can be difficult to discern. You know you've found yours when, despite the risk, pain, effort, and mundanity. And no matter the purpose, the mundanity always far outweighs the excitement. You can do naught else but continually return to its trenches. Amen. Well, based on all this, I have a challenge for you. Spend time over the next day, week, or month identifying, honing, writing, and memorizing your purpose. And then in a journal, or even better in addition to that, in a public forum like social media or the dinner table with family and friends. Write and then verbalize your purpose statement for the world to see. And then, as you progress into the next chapter, prepare yourself to discover what the most fulfilling and noble focus of that life's purpose should be based upon, because that's what we're going to explore next in Chapter nine. In the meantime, for resources, references, links, and additional reading and listening material for this chapter, visit fitsoulbook.com Chapter 8.