https://www.listennotes.com/e/7ec26d9f9e8b475fae906678387c10fb

What'S up, Lance?

Rhett, dude, we're in this.

We're.

We're in a newer world today.

Yeah, we are testing out because, you know, our podcast is evolving. We're trying. We're. We're moving from Zoom to Riverside, trying to be a little more professional.

I mean, I can tell right now you look so professional. Oh gosh. Do you want to talk about our goals with what we're trying to do with this RT dialogue?

Yeah, I mean, it's evolving, but I think initially the RT dialogue podcast is an opportunity for us to create conversation around things that are happening in the RT world to, I think, connect people. to first to share stories, to connect them to people who are doing the work in the RT by having certain guests on and talking about what's going on in certain parts of the country with the RT so people can get connected and build that community. Ultimately, I think it's also a way to just learn, like share ideas. I'm in a private practice and I can feel pretty alone. You're in a cool big clinic, an RT clinic, and have a lot of people to practice around. And so, For me, hopping on a podcast and also listening to other podcasts is a way for me to feel not alone sometimes in my work. So it's one of the reasons I love to do it and hope that it resonates with people, whether they're in a private practice or a big group practice.

Yeah, this has been so much fun for me. I mean, first off, I enjoy hanging out with you from a, like it's nice to have a regular meeting that where we get together. But I think one of the things I'm excited about is It's really cool to hear all these different ways people have come into restoration therapy, you know?

Yeah, this is like, you and I, we do spend a lot of time together and I don't know if people know, it's, it is a lot of work to like coordinate schedules. We're in different time zones and then different people are and then we record and we, we save time by not editing and just loading it up, but all that takes some time and.

Effort.

It's been a lot of work, but it's actually, for me, it's been a real fun process and creative process, and it makes my therapy work just more enjoyable to break up the days doing other things.

Absolutely. I think it's so interesting to just take a break and to think about what you've been doing all day. Right. And to kind of, it's like a meta moment where I just finished a session with somebody talking through you know, pain and peace cycle work and, you know, and now I'm talking about what we're doing in the therapy world.

So yeah, there are some podcast hosts I really love, like some big time names, some people like, I don't know, Rich Roll and Tim Ferriss, people I like listen to pretty frequently. And they always say to guests, like, they're like, this is totally a rig, this is totally rigged. I'm gaming the system and that is, I get to invite people on the podcast I would never have contact with to just have a conversation with. And that's how I feel. Like we get to invite people on this podcast and have a conversation with them. And it's a privilege, you know, for them to hear their stories and hear how they've come to RT, like you said. I'm like super fascinated by that journey.

Yeah, I'm a big fan of Conan needs a friend.

Yeah.

And I just love this show. He's just totally like, I just want to hang out and talk to people that I like and dig and they goof around. This is probably way more edifying I like to think, but I love Conan.

Yeah.

Well, we're gonna do something new on this episode.

Yeah.

We 14 episodes we've launched so far. And so we thought we would just kind of put a pin in it for a second and talk about maybe that journey and also talk about what are things going on in the RT world right now. So this will be very time sensitive in terms of we're going to list some specific dates around trainings, we're going to talk about some of the future stuff in RT that we know is happening and how people can get involved. And so I think, you know, maybe every, I don't know, few episodes, four or five episodes, we'll take a break and do something like this just to kind of like circle the wagons and talk about dates and things that people are doing. And, you know, if you're in some practice and, I don't know, the state of Virginia and you got a cool RT event that's coming up, you know, we'd want to hear from that and advertise that for people.

I think that's such a great moment where we can kind of talk about that. I'm also hoping you and I were talking about this a while back, but like trying to develop some sponsorship. Like I know Vuori is out there and I try to think of like, you know, their athleisure. Could they be at therapy equipment? I don't know. Vuori, if you're listening, we love you.

Has that become the, outfitting gear for male therapists, the athlete or wear?

I think so.

Yeah.

I years ago switched over to just wearing, like, Lululemon that they're, like, version of slacks and Viore slacks and shirts. And, yeah, here's. Here's my big secret, Lance. I don't know if I've ever told you this, so I've told people in my office, I think they're jealous of this. I wear the same outfit Monday through Friday.

Really?

I don't change it. Yes. Here's why. I'm just sitting in a chair. I'm not running around. I'm not sweating. I'm not doing anything. And my clients, most of my clients only see me once a week, right? So they're not like, oh, Rhett, you wore that on Tuesday. And so over the years, it's helped with like cognitive load. I give in the morning, I don't think about what I'm gonna wear, not even a second. I know exactly what I'm gonna wear Monday through Friday. And then that outfit either goes to wash or dry cleaning or whatever I'm wearing, and the next week I have a different outfit. So I wear maybe four outfits a month. And a lot of my colleagues are like, that's brilliant. And then some, of my female colleagues are like, I don't know if I can get away with that, but I like the idea.

I like that. I like it. I have this friend of mine, he wore black undershirts and a jacket every single day. That was his go-to outfit forever. That's all he would ever wear. So you just have a black t-shirt and just go for it. I like this idea of cognitive space. you know?

Yeah.

If I don't have to think about what I'm gonna wear today, that would be great.

It's just the little things, I think. And I'm not comparing myself to him at all, but I remember, like, you. I've read some articles about how, like, Steve Jobs, other people would wear the same outfit because they didn't have to, like, it was one last thing to think about. And I noticed that one of the therapists I had over the years. Really great guy who I mentioned before, Rick Carson. I only saw him in the same black pants and t-shirt every session over the years. And I think I asked him about it one point and it's just kind of like his outfit.

Yeah.

And so it's like a uniform. Yeah.

So bring that back to Viore. We all like Viore. So yes, we're looking for sponsorships, people.

Yeah, if we worry, come on down. All right. We're being dumb. Hey, let's talk through our big announcements we have coming up. You want to we got you want to list the things we're going to talk about and then talk about them?

Yeah, we're going to talk about books happening right now in the RT community that some people in the community have just released. We're going to talk about RT trainings and RT coaching. Going to talk about those dates for those anxiety intensives. We're going to mention some consultation groups that are happening and encourage you to maybe start one. we're gonna talk about the Summits, future Summits.

Come on.

And then at the end, we're talking about different ways that you can get involved. You know, I told someone last night, our teas are very, like, Grassroots, all Hands On Deck. You just got to jump in. And so there's some other ways, I think, for people to get involved. So that's the list.

Nice. Let's knock them out, man. Let's talk about books.

Yeah.

You want to start?

Well, sure. If you haven't read it yet, I mean, Mindful Marriage is one that we're really touting big time. I think it's a great book. I would recommend that, you know, you have clients that say, Hey, do you recommend any books on marriage? I would say Mindful Marriage is the one. I love it because it really gets to the root of what happens in marriage and it doesn't really get caught up. I think there's some marriage books that almost get there, but then they kind of have this weird, they'll jump onto these kind of platforms that aren't as helpful for helping people through marriage. So we kind of get into gender issues or stuff like that. Where, you know, I think that maybe you want to have that conversation a little bit, but you're much better off working on, you know, what's wrong with our marriage. It's probably best place to start is probably the my part that I add to the marriage. And yeah, they do a great job talking through the pain and peace cycle and telling the story.

Ron and Nan Deal and Terry and Sharon Hargrave essentially co-authored that book. And I agree. I love the layout. When you first pick it up, it feels like it's a big book, but the way that it's laid out, it's a quick read in terms of.

It.

Just doesn't feel like a lot, but it's not a quick read in the sense of if you're actually taking it in and working the process, right, and getting into it, you're going to find some real, I think, a huge beneficial things for your marriage. In fact, I have clients right now that I recommend the Beck to who've they've been reading it. I think they told me I didn't even look, but my couple clients, they were listening to it, so I guess it's on audible, I believe.

Yeah, it is.

Yeah, so a couple of clients were doing it separately and then they'd get together and talk about it. So yeah, Mindful Marriage and I think people in our community agree. It may be the best book at this point of kind of just describing that in a marriage setting, don't you think?

Totally. I love it.

Yeah.

And then we got Book for Women coming out today.

Hot Off the Presses, Daring Joy.

Look, this is my teammate Joanne Russell. She posted on her social media, her carrying the Daring Joy book.

I see that.

She is so stoked. We're so stoked. I love someone that can look at the story of, well, you want to talk about it?

Well, I was going to read the subtitle. So Daring Joy by Nicole Zasowski, our colleague there in Connecticut. And the subtitle is what Six Women in the Bible teach us about the power of celebration when it feels risky, complicated, and even impossible. And I have the book. I have not read it yet. That's in my cue list. But that has not stopped me from actually recommending it to several of the Bible study groups in my community.

Yeah.

Daring Joy is excellent. I think I also am I really like it when you look at, you know, the people that don't get talked about as much, you know, and I-.

In the Bible, the characters.

Yeah.

So, great one.

Yeah.

And Nicole brings a great just like personal story.

Yes.

I think that makes her writing really like personable and impactful. So that just dropped this week. So, two books, the third one, is by Monica D. Christina, who we've had in the podcast. And the title is your pain has a name. A therapist. A therapist invitation to understanding your story and sorting out who you are from what hurts. And that's been out for a couple of more than a couple of weeks.

Yeah. Throw it on your cadre. I think it's a, I think it's a good one to get. I think it's We got an early reading of it and I enjoyed it a lot. I think it really, it'll definitely grip your heart a few times.

Yeah, it's a heavy book and I mean that in all of the good ways. She tackles some tough stuff in terms of her own personal journey. And it's cool to see her own personal restoration story and how she brings that into her work with her clients. So awesome book. Mindful Marriage, Daring Joy, your pain has a name.

Nice.

Go get those books. Support the people in the RT community, people.

Yeah.

Get them on Amazon. You can get them on, I think Nicole can get on LifeWay as well.

Yeah.

And I know Monica on her website has a link to the book. And so there's probably some benefit of purchasing it, probably even through Amazon off her website. and then the deals have their mindful marriage stuff all over their websites as well.

Yes.

So those are the books. Second up, let's talk about RT trainings.

Yeah.

So where do you go to get to figure out where RT trainings are?

Rhett, I would go to the main website, which is restoration therapy training. I'm gonna .org, right? Dot com, sorry. RestorationTherapyTraining.com and under one of the headers at the top is RT therapy training.

Right.

And there's a lot of stuff.

But usually there'll be like a, if you don't see the section, sometimes you'll see a special like image or something that you can click on that will list trainings on that site.

Nice. Do you, do you have these or do I, am I the only one that has these?

I think you have the dates in front of you and also, if you are on the email list, you will often get an email with the trainings listed, correct?

Yeah, from Megan. Now, sometimes things get buried. So it's important to kind of pay attention to check your spam. We want you to not only think about for yourselves, but think about for people that are in your community to learn about level one and level two training. Rhett, do you wanna talk about your experience with level one and level two?

Man, it's been a while, Lance. So I was already out in Texas when I went to Fuller, but everyone knows this. I think I've shared this before. I didn't train with Terry. I didn't know Terry. And it was when I was working at the Hideaway that I started to decide to get trained. And so I did level one and level two training out in Pasadena, where you go out for like an intensive weekend. and then did the group work there. And then it was for level two where Terry, I had literally a computer up in my office, him watching me and listening to me do therapy with a couple and to finish up my level two. So I think that was 2014. So it's been about 11 years since I did level one and level two. and I think it's just, I think if you want to hone your skills as an RT therapist, like I highly recommend it. You don't know until, you know, you just don't know until you know. And there are a lot of things I thought I knew about RT until I got into the work and then, you know, learning those things and then being put in a position where I had to like practice that and get consultation on that was super helpful in terms of my own growth. so highly recommend it.

Yeah.

Level one training is coming up. You know, level one, that's kind of the primer where you learn about the model. You get a tiny bit of practice and a few demonstrations. The ones we have coming up are there's a few online ones that are that Terry's doing. There's a August 22nd through the 23rd. He's doing one online. There's September the 19th through the 20th. there's another level one training. And then we're doing, I'm doing a level two training. These things fill up like hotcakes. So make sure you get on it. It's October the 3rd through the 4th will be the first phase.

Okay.

And it's important to know with level two, so it's gonna be Terry and myself doing it together. With level two, you have to bring a video. Like, this is no holds bar, man. We're totally wide open. We're real. This is me in therapy trying to do restoration therapy. Watch what I'm doing. And it's, you know, so we don't want you, like, to be surprised. If you want to be the best therapist in the world, you have to be willing to let people see your work. So that we show video in the first phase, and then in the second phase, there's one-on-one video where you show it with Terry or myself. and then the final phase, mark your calendars for November 21st through the 22nd for level two. We do have some level one trainings coming up as well. In person, Eric Sullivan's going to do one October the 17th through the 28th. There's another one in person at Pepperdine University, the 24th through the 25th. with Terry and Michael Cox, our bro, is going to be doing one the 14th through the 15th of November.

So.

These will all be on the restoration therapy training. So check them out. One last one, we had Megan Egan on here recently talk about restoration coaching. that is going to be happening September the 19th through the 20th. If you're interested in learning more about coaching or you liked our podcast, definitely check that one out.

Yeah.

And I've done, I did the early RT coaching as well. And I was already like board certified coach, gone through all that in the past through other organizations and decided to step into the RT coaching to learn about that and kind of do like their certification process and Megan and the Rapsmiths and I think Terry and Sharon both, I can't remember, were the trainers there. And that was a really good experience too. So highly recommend that. And there's a lot of people who aren't therapists even who are in kind of other parts of work, doing other types of work and who just want that RT training. And so RT coaching is a good Good, it's just a good route to do that if you're not even like a licensed therapist or that's not the field that you're in. I see like a lot of pastors also looking into the RT coaching model.

Nice. Yeah, big fans. One last date, I forgot to mention this one. Early January, we have a level one training that's going to be happening in Portland. So for our Pacific Northwest people, We have not forgotten about you. Mark your calendar January 9th through the 10th for level one. And then if you're interested in another level two, there's another one that's going to start in December with Stephanie Levine. Not Levine, not Levine's or whatever. However, I butchered it last time.

Yeah. And then got that. We also have some anxiety intensives coming up. Where people can attend. We are still working on future dates, probably for more anxiety intensive trainings. I know you just finished you and Megan doing an anxiety intensive training last week. Yeah, with the Hara GravEs last week. And we're hoping to roll more of those out here in the future. That's something that is important to us. but there were some anxiety intensives. I was going to throw the dates out and just confirm with you, Lance, if these are correct. But we have one in Carlsbad coming up on April 10th through the 13th. Is that correct?

That already happened. It was really successful.

Oh, sorry, people. That just happened. How was it? Awesome.

I hear great things. Lives were changed. That was Steven Perez did it with Joanne Russell.

Yeah.

And I heard the group was really cool. And yeah, if you didn't go, you missed out.

Well, and we had another one too that also took place in Oceanside, April 23rd through 26th.

Yeah, yeah. So one that we do know that is coming up is June the 18th through the 21st. And this one's a dialed-in one in Julian, this is in San Diego, California, but this is for Christian women. for turning from anxiety. I didn't know that Christian women struggle with anxiety, but yeah, if you're a woman of faith and you need help, we got the answer for you.

Well, it's gonna be led by our good friends, Megan, Egan, and Didi Meyer, who are awesome. And I think that, you know, what we've discovered, I think we're discovering, is if you just say it's an anxiety intensive, that is so, that's such a large, it doesn't hit the nail in the head of like, oh, because everyone has different anxiety at different times. But to say Christian women, for example, or you and I have talked about the idea of doing an anxiety intensive for ministry leaders, male ministry leaders. So very specific. So if you are a female and, practice, you know, part of a Christian community, Christian, Christian faith, There will be the intensive in Julian, California, which is beautiful, just kind of up there in the mountains outside San Diego, June 18th to the 21st.

And then we want to talk about DD. We have to talk about DD.

Sure, yeah.

DD Meyer is this amazing therapist, doctor DD Meyer, I should qualify. She's absolutely amazing. And she does Relate Strong, which is another extension of, like, if you'd want to do Christian psychoeducation around restoration therapy, that is definitely recommended. We'll probably have her on here pretty soon, but she does have a training coming up September the 4th and the 5th for Relate Strong. so. And there's another one coming up on my anniversary. I won't be there. May the 22nd and the 23rd. Sorry, I told them backwards. But once again, these dates will all be on the sub stack. So check out DD Meyer. Good people.

I, I was thinking, too, like, I've done. My wife and I did really strong. I can't think of. That was what it was called back then. This would have been, like, 2000. 15, 16? I think so.

2015, it might have been called marriage straw or strong, successful Ministries.

It probably, it wasn't that it might have been just related strong. I have the binders here somewhere, but my wife and I went to that together at Pepperdine, and that was like a phenomenal experience to go with this spouse because, you know, I, I knew the RT model, but to sit down with your spouse and walk through it, like, in a non-therapeutic setting, more psychoeducational super powerful. So, yeah, Didi's doing awesome work around that.

Yeah.

The, the first time I ever talked about my pain cycle with my wife was at a Relate Strong Training. And this is, is really just not only was it good for me to learn the model, but it was actually good for my soul as well. So I agree with you.

It's awesome. I was gonna mention one more. Is there the Betrayal? intensive coming up for summer of 2025. I saw that on the calendar for San Diego. I don't know if that's happening or not.

It there? Yeah. Kelly Robinson and will be doing that one. I don't know if she's gonna do it, who she's doing it with yet. But Kelly, she's out of Oasis counseling group, and they're, they're in the Mission Valley area of San Diego. She's a really great therapist for people, especially dealing with betrayal work. She's done so much work in that area. She works with my best friend Andrew Last, so what are you going to do?

It's good stuff. Lots going on. If you don't want to have any questions ever, feel free to send us an email at restorationtherapydialogue. www. RestorationTherapyDialogue@gmail.com We can answer some of those or just go to the website, restorationtherapytraining.com and we will also probably hopefully start posting more dates on our substack, the RT Dialogue substack. If you've not subscribed to that, please subscribe to that. So Lance, let's pivot here and talk about a couple other opportunities for people to get involved. you've been doing, which I believe, Steven Perez kind of has taken over. Like, how long you've been doing that consultation group?

Yeah.

So we've been doing this consultation group, where we talk through restoration therapy, we talk through concepts, we talk through cases, we talk through, you know, celebrations. We come up with a lot of C words to talk about, but, I've been doing it since 2000. I think I started my first one in 2016 or 15. Okay. So it's been a long time. Yeah. And it's the third Thursday of the month. And, yeah, Steven and I do it together. Sometimes we'll have a speaker come in. Like recently, we just had me young come in and share. She's a professor out of Fuller Seminary, and she talked about. Medical family therapy, a really great talk for us. So, but sometimes we'll have speakers, sometimes we'll just kind of come in and do work on ourselves. So it's a great, you know, I love to play in the sandbox and that's what we do. So third Thursday of the month, usually between 12:15 to 1:45.

Pacific time.

Pacific time, yeah. And Stephen is the one to talk to for that.

And there's probably, would you say about 90 something people on that email list for that currently?

Yeah, there's 90 people, but I mean, we average about, I would say like 15 to 30 people when we get together. So if you got stuff you wanna talk about, you'll get time in there.

But there's a lot of people who are interested in that, are a part of that community. and if they need to get plugged in or need some support, that's a great consultation group. I. Yeah. And I don't. I haven't called it a consultation group at this point, but Sharon Hargrave had encouraged me. I feel like she encouraged me to, like, oh, you know, there's a lot of therapists in the DFW area. Not a lot as means. Not as many as California. There's a lot in DFW. and we're all kind of scattered. We're not in any clinics. And so I decided maybe a couple months ago, let's just, I'll just gather the people. And I started with the DFW and there was like a handful of us, like five or something. And then I'm like, you know, let's just include people in the broader area. Cause we got Michael Cox down outside Austin and Eric and his group down in College Station.

Oh my gosh.

Stephanie Justice down in Houston. There's different people. So we, and I was also. You're gonna help me. Brandy and Heather in Wichita Falls.

Yeah.

They build the. The RT model brain models. So I included all of them. And so we had our second Zoom yesterday. There's about seven of us on the call, I think. So there's about. There's about 10, 12 of us on the list, and so. My hope is that it's just an opportunity once a month for people in Texas to get together. If we want a case consult to do a case consult, support each other. What I'm finding is people just actually enjoy just to kind of get on and connect with people and not feel alone. So we're kind of going to let it fly and see what happens. And we'll bring in different speakers too. Branny's going to come in and walk us through the RT brain felt kind of model that she's built. And we're going to see that in action. And that is the first Tuesday of the month at 1:00 Central time. So we go out an hour, 1 to 2:00 so if you're in Texas, want to get involved, just let me know and you can email me. @rhett@rhettsmith.com and I'll get you on that list. So, and I don't know, are there, I'm sure there are other consultation groups. I'm just not aware of any at the moment.

The only one I know about is, I know Jason Wilkinson does one up in the Pacific Northwest and I don't know when it meets. I believe it's, it might be the second Thursday of the month, but I'm not 100% sure that, if he might be listening to this so he can add a comment on the sub stack.

Well, and this is a pitch really, right? That if you're out there listening and you're not part of a group, and consultation may sound like too big of a task, you know, what we're just even encouraging is just starting something and getting a group of people in a geographic location where you can hop on regularly and just connect as RT therapists and and do consulting and just share and support each other and hopefully maybe even meet up in person at times.

Yeah. Do you want to talk about our thoughts on the next meeting up in person's moments?

Yeah, the Summit.

Yeah.

Let's do it. So go ahead. It may seem like far out, but this stuff is, it takes a lot of work and it's always in motion.

It is always in motion. Yeah, we're hoping to get to do these RT Summits every other year, which would put our next one happening 2027 and then 2029 and then 2031. Guys.

Which sounds crazy.

2031 will be the 20th anniversary of Terri's book being published. the first purple book. Is that crazy?

Really?

Yeah.

I got, I pre-ordered that book and I got it. I think I'm the first owner of that book. And Terry signed it. So it's, it's in my, like, treasure chest of possessions that, like, if the house is burning down, I'm grabbing that book.

Nice, man. I was thinking 2031 was like, if I was a kid watching futuristic movies, 2031 would have been like, apocalyptic way out there.

Yeah.

Like Blade Runner type stuff.

That's true, man.

Well, and so the summits, I think it's okay to say we have a sense that it's probably going to be in California.

The next one, yeah.

Yeah. In 2027, we already have some good leads on that and potential places. And, you know, we were in Amarillo, Texas, this last time. We want to shift around different parts of the country. There's huge concentrations of RT therapists over on the West Coast. So we're thinking 2027, and that may seem like a long time away, but there's a lot of work between now and getting a summit up and going. So you have any thoughts you want to share with people out there who may want to get involved and help out or just interested in that whole process?

Yeah.

I mean, the big things that help us out is number one is, you know, Getting the word out, I mean that's like so important on a simple level. So once we publish the dates, like we would love for people to sign up and you know go to it. But I think if you're in the California area or you're really interested in helping out with it, I would have you just email myself@lanceall@gmail.com My last name is A-H-L, so L-A-N-C-E-A-H-L. @gmail.com. And there's a lot of elements that are involved with planning it, whether it's just picking out location, gathering the people. So yeah, we haven't made our minds up exactly where we're going to do it on the West Coast or in Southern California, but we're definitely have some good leads.

Yeah, it comes down to often cost. and also the size, you know, and there's places for people to stay in the area. All those factors, you know, we really need boots on the ground type people who have giftings that, you know, they can utilize. I was thinking about all the, you know, if you were at the Amarillo Summit, I was thinking about all the little details that like Jet and Tanner Hargrove took care of.

You have no clue, man. It's just amazing.

Yeah, it made it come to life, like little things, you know, like just flowers on tables to all the local stuff that they source to bring, you know, there. So if you're someone who is creative or also super detailed who, who, if you're a worker bee who's like, just give me some task, or you're someone who's like, hey, I can take ownership of this and run with this. like we are going to need your help. And I say we, I mean the whole RT community. And we'll get that going, you know, and there will probably be, you know, some type of committee forming at some point for that 2027 summit. And so different people who want to get involved and step up and help lanceall@gmail.com boom.

Summits coming up.

And, you know, I will say we've already have kind of a lead on possibly where the 29 Summit will be and a point person for that. And that's going to be awesome, you know? And again, it may seem like crazy, like far out there, but if you are out there listening and you are like, I would like to see the RT Summit come to our community in 2031 and I can be the point person, like, it's not too soon to start thinking about this. So yeah. Summit.

Yeah, and just in general, getting involved with RT community stuff, you know, we created the substack so that people, we wanted people to be able to introduce themselves to the community, how they got connected to Restoration Therapy. But we also want to talk about, you know, what are the things you're doing? You know, Rhett, you have a article coming out pretty soon. You want to talk about that?

Yeah, I'm just gonna, on the substack, I'm gonna have an article out here hopefully in the next week or so, just writing out the note card intervention that we use, or have been using in RT and the anxiety intensive. And Lance did a different, if you were at the summit, he uses these other types of cool, like kind of play playing cards, note cards and therapy, and people were like, Super interested in that. And so he wrote a post on that and for like behind the scenes, when I look at the data of what gets people's attention, the thing that Lance wrote gets like lots of attention. People are really interested in that tool. And so we're going to- and I'm.

Not a good writer. So, I mean, literally the tool is the thing that's making it happen.

Yeah, so I'm going to write a no card intervention, but the reality is Lance and I got the sub stack up and going, but it's going to take more than two of us to keep it going and keep it actually good. content. And so if you're listening and you haven't submitted a bio yet, what we're looking for is a 500 word or less bio about yourself, how you came into RT, how you use RT, where you're located, et cetera, et cetera. You can see some examples up there already on the substack under the community bio page and submit that with a picture of yourself to Myself or Lance, which again, there's lots of emails thrown around, but it's restorationtherapydialogue@gmail.com and yeah, that would be great. If you have any ideas for articles that you'd like to write, you know, in terms of how you use RT, I think that would be good. Also, if you're like, hey, I want to be on the podcast. I have some stuff I like to share. We'd love to have you on.

Yeah.

Right now, Lance and I are just basically asking people that we kind of know personally or people who've come to express interest. But there's a lot of people obviously we do not know that we'd like to hear from. And we have a couple podcasts coming up actually in a month or so from a couple of women that we didn't know and they listen to podcasts and they're part of the RT community, they reached out and we're super pumped to have them on. So if that's you, send us an email.

Yeah, we love talking to RT. We're gonna be glad to have you. It's good stuff. Is there anything else you want to talk about getting involved?

No.

Could I soapbox for a second?

Yeah. Lance sits back in his big chair, big leather chair. If you can't see on video, if you're not watching video, this is gonna be big.

So, Rhett, how often do you use your four steps?

I use my four steps. I mean, I think about them probably dozens of times a day.

Yeah.

And I probably say them in my head, like, in a, like, linear fashion. Yeah, probably. Yeah, another couple dozen times a day. And then out loud, I don't say it every day because I don't find myself always needing to do that dysregulated. But it's on my brain and in my brain and in my thoughts and walking it through dozens of times a day for sure. And then, you know, when I leave my office, because there's a lot of times to practice it as a therapist in your office and I'll be doing with clients in my head sometimes. Sometimes I might say it out loud to a client when I get just regulated in session, I'll walk through my steps. I was thinking at home with my wife and kids too. I think I've done a really good job of walking through my four steps prior that when I show up in the space with my wife or a kid, I'm kind of already there in that place of truth and action.

But.

I don't, yeah, it's all my, I cannot think about it and practice it. That's what it feels like to me.

Yeah.

And my soapbox isn't about you using your four steps because I feel comfortable asking you, but guys, if you're listening to this podcast as a way to use restoration therapy in your practice and you're not using your own life, you know, I want to encourage you. to start trying it out in your own life a lot more. Find moments to use your four steps. I surf every Monday, which gives me plenty of opportunity to deal with my own failure and feeling out of control. But I find myself on the daily saying my four steps and really trying to find new ways to delve into the truth for myself. I was doing some work with this feeling of feeling unfair recently. And I got to this new truth for myself that really, I used to say like, it's going to be okay. And that just never really worked well for me. But just being able to say I'm blessed beyond measure really made a big difference. So if you're listening to this podcast, I really want to encourage you to start using your own four steps. Don't be embarrassed. We know there's a lot of you out there that like to use the model. but don't use it in your own life. Just start using it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I, you asked me the question. I was thinking, I probably should even, even if I don't feel dysregulated, practice it, just sing out loud more in the, in the surroundings of people in my life, like my wife and kids, you know? And I think what's been helpful. because my wife and I have been practicing it for a long time, is sometimes we think of four steps of like, okay, right now I'm feeling this, and then I'm doing this, and this is my truth, and this is, which is a good way that we teach it and model it. But I noticed what it's helped me do is just be more adept at just when I'm talking to my wife, talking about how I'm feeling.

Yeah.

I just noticed a lot today I've been feeling inadequate. And we'll have a deeper conversation around that. And so it's increased my capacity to navigate my emotional landscape, the life of my, the different contours of my emotional life. And I could probably do a better job in finishing out walking through the four steps as I'm having those conversations with certain people. Does that make sense?

Oh, dude, when Jennifer and I first learned about the. The RT model, we used to do the two-step yeah. And we would talk about. This is primarily me because my. My wife's amazing, but I'd be like, well, the reason I'm so angry is because I'm feeling like a failure. You know, I wouldn't, like, go through and do the. Do the other steps. You just get. It would just be. It was basically this. explaining yourself over and over again about your feelings. And, you know, there's these moments where Jennifer and I would, like, look at each other and be like, and I get. I was feeling like a failure. And what I normally do is I get angry.

And.

The truth is, oh, yeah, that thing I'm still called, so. instead of getting angry, I'm just gonna be like caring and work this out with you right now. So what's going on, honey?

So. Yeah.

And I, I think I appreciate the soap box because I think what I sense is, and maybe I just sense this coming off the summit, riding in the car for four hours with Michael, five out, five and a half hours, Michael Cox there and back in deep conversation with him, and then. being in at the summit and watching people work and then being in some breakout groups and some deep conversations is that, and I think this is coming from Terry especially top down, is that we have just got to do better and better and better and better work as RT therapists.

Yeah.

Not that we aren't, but that the goal should always be to become better and better at RT therapists. That it's really easy I told the group yesterday, the consultation group, whatever, that it's easy to just kind of get lazy as a therapist and sit in a chair and we all fall into it. We all get tired emotionally. But I think I've felt that there's been this call as RT therapists, we've got to just do better work.

Come on.

And if we're going to do better work, that means us walking through our four steps. and there's just a lot of bad therapy out there, you know, that's happening, and that is kind of encouraged even and kind of the, like, Mainstay. And so that's what I appreciate about the RT Community. Terry is like, we have got to be practicing this personally.

Absolutely, man. Yeah. Well, Yeah, and I say this from a place of when we start shifting into doing our own work, our own personal work, it just changes our own work. So yes, I'm doing it not to shame, but just to like, what's the word?

Prompt, encourage.

Yeah.

Yeah.

A loving nudge.

Well, I mean, I think we're quick to ourselves to nudge each other in our small group of friends, you know, who meet quite a bit. So it is loving. I think people want to see us grow totally. And yeah, so, well, we'll end it there. I hope that was helpful for people. We won't do that all the time, but we want to just get you in up to date on things in the RT Community kind of spread that information out to you and if you have questions lance all ahl@gmail.com rhett@rhettsmith.com and then our podcast email and I kind of I guess catch all is restorationtherapydialogue@gmail.com anything you got send it our way thanks all right Lance have a good day man peace.