102. The Greatest Focus You Can Ever Have

Foreign. Podcast. I'm your host as always, Al, and in today's episode, Short and Sharp, we are focusing on some really key elements of thinking and thoughts and making your intentions clear and reviewing those intentions when the passage of time comes and goes and you can reflect on the actions. Did you do what you said you would do in this episode? What I'm going to do is crack open the inside of HPF a little bit and give you some of the insides of ultimately our championship mindset and the way that we think. Now, please understand, as always, I'm not here to tell you what to think. I'll absolutely bring up perspectives, I'll give you observations, I'll give you parts of history. People can try and correlate all of those into my opinion. That's not true. I fucking hate opinions. I actually really don't like them. To the point where my wife gets frustrated when she asks my viewpoint on something. Say something medical for the kids. Our little man might have bronchiolitis for a period of time and the medical industry around us immediately are pretty fucking incompetent, which is frustrating. To the point where she'll ask my advice and I'll be like, well, I'm not an expert either. I can't give you an answer. Well, I know that, but what do you think? I'm like, well, I don't know how relevant it is that I think. All I want to do is find someone who's competent enough to help our son clear his airways. Nonetheless, that was something that happened a little while ago where that was a very fast example I'm giving of, I guess, really opening up and being transparent with you guys listening to this. In understanding the value of how I influence you and the value of what I share with you because it comes from a place of what I know, what I've done, what I've seen, what we've collected, the data that we collate and bring together with these fathers every single week. Are we winning? Are we losing? We've created compelling scoreboards to now show that. Show them. Are they winning? Are they losing? What do they need to do? This is something that I'm not a robot. I'm not a cold hearted man. I'm not a big tough man beating his chest. I can be any of those one things. But across the level, level, across the board, on the level for me, I'm consistently helping you with facts and feelings in your life. And the best way that we can do this is by breaking down or partitioning certain areas of your life. To teach you how to think about these certain areas of your life. And what I want to dive into today is something that I've created called the tav. Now there's lots of acronyms, there's a million of them by a million different mindset and motivational wizards and celebrities and sports coaches and blah blah, blah. That's great for me, it's not about a vanilla approach. Whilst fundamentally the principles of RDM can apply to anyone in their life, including children, I've designed them specifically for fathers. For you, the man listening to this right now. So just before we do that, the High Performance Father journal, the championship journal, we're going to have that available for dads who aren't members soon. It's a fucking amazing resource. I can't believe how much it's changed my life since having my third born and more chaos and stress than ever. Multiple businesses building new programs, all the moving parts of building my coaching team still delivering for our current members, getting great results with them like this, keeping my body fit and healthy and strong, staying connected with my wife. There are so many moving parts, man. This journal is probably, and I say this in the right context, but it's probably the greatest thing I think we've ever created to be fair. Like our coaching program is phenomenal. Nothing will change more lives than that. But in terms of specificity and application, it's one sole purpose is to help you focus and win. That's it. I'm not going to release a digital copy. There's no point. I was going to fuck it. There's no point. Because the apparatus that you use for that digital copy, whether it be your phone or your computer, has multiple uses and serves you in different ways from which you'll become distracted and interrupted and then you become deluded in the value that this can give you. A physical hard copy. You don't have to write thousands of words every single page. It's very clear, very specific. State your fucking intentions, man. Family, self and service. What do you desire and why? What does that look like? How are you going to get there? Now the pathway from A to B. People talk about true north and what's, what's, you know, the version B or the next version of you or how do you evolve and, you know, supersede the older version of you? Transcend and grow and all these terminologies like that, that's great. Across the board there are definitely some overlapping principles that other people apply without knowing. I ran CrossFit gyms for years and it was great. I Just wanted people to become healthier and happier and become better than they were yesterday. Very simple for us and how we dial this in and go deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper with multiple ways. One of the greatest being obviously our coaching program, probably the greatest. But what can really pinpoint that, that approach in our high performance father championship journal. It's just incredible. And that's what we're going to go through here. So just a couple of things. This is a part of the intro I want to share with you as I go through parts of this book and then we'll dive into the tavs, which if you can't hear me clearly, is TAV Targets action and version. And that'll make sense very shortly when we're looking at this. One of our RDM principles is 1000 minutes. If you sleep for 7 hours and 20 minutes a day, some get less, some might get more. But across the board, if we use that as our measuring stick, what we end up with is a thousand minutes. I'm never going to be someone who Sundays, you got 24 hours a day. That means fuck all to any of us. That's done, that's run its course. We know that's common knowledge. When I change how you think about things with time being its master, how to use it, how precious it is, what you can do with it. Thousand minutes a day, that's a lot, isn't it? It's nothing when you waste it. Nothing when you waste it. So with going through our check ins, our coaching, our touch points, the journal not including diving into the coaching sessions that we actively work with our fathers, generally this is about 45 minutes a week. Now that sounds like a lot. Al, I'm very busy, mate. I don't know. 45 minutes. I don't have 45 minutes to go for a walk or train. Yeah, I understand that, mate, but I just told you, you got a thousand minutes a day, what are you spending that on? And I'll have a form for you shortly. You know, we do it without members on the inside, but I'll have a form for the guys on the outside to fill in. Just to do a bit of a time order on yourself and go, what am wasting? What am I becoming sedated and distracted with? Because when we Times that by seven days in the week, you've got 7,000 minutes a week. That's a lot of time, isn't it? That's awake. Don't worry about your sleep. We've already calculated and factored that in. 7,000 minutes a week. So when we're talking about 45 minutes to set your intentions, take action and review and reflect on the actions you took and how much that lines up with the intentions you first set at the start of the week on your weekly TAV. That's not even 1%. It is the most important thing. Are you fucking doing what you said you would do, man? Like, are you following through and becoming a leader in your own right through the actions that you've determined and dictated upon as being the pathway for you to improve who you are? It's 0.6%, so just over half a percent. But I promise you right now that 0.6, just over half a percent will equal the 99.4% of the greatest return on investment in the rest of the time that you spend throughout the week. That 99.4% of the time that you spend has more purpose, has more depth, more meaning, there's more fulfillment because you will get results. I promise you this. I guarantee you this, man to man, not just the Journal, our way of life. The Journal is a reflection of what we do on the inside. And it ultimately showcases how you can track this without having to live and breathe on social media or on technology and whatnot. How does that make you feel? Like, think about that 0.6 of a percent to get your shit together, line up the ducks, and then go and get after it. You know, like 45 minutes is a long time. It's not when it's, you know, something that you really spending six minutes a day on. Max, you know, I'll just run through just while I'm here. I'll quickly run through one of the days. But, you know, just while I'm here, like I'm going somewhere, you know, I'll run through this. And what you see here is our rise to win. Thoughts, plans, goals. What are you starting the day off with? It's three lines max. Like, I've made it that on purpose. You're not here to write a novel. There's plenty of time for that in other areas. Family, self and service. What's the one most important thing we call that? A mitt. What's your mitt? Get your mitts together. Family, self and service. What are you doing for your family? What are you doing for yourself? And what are you doing for the value add to the world? And then doing an internal and external review. Did you perform and do what you said you would do? Now, for example, if I look at the 24th of March, family number one thing was going to the shops with my wife and doing some shopping with her to organize some things for our house and for our little man who needed some new clothes and whatnot. And the number two thing if I had we've got a power list P3 on the right hand side if you can do three things. So if you've got two other things obviously the first of the power list is the mitt the number one thing the second one is no technology in the afternoon with the kids. Two ticks. I score it a four out of five. That's my external score. Performance wasn't a five because I didn't write three. Four was very good for myself. Train, get a massage and read. Body is very sore tight was neck at that stage training hard and reading very important for me. They were my three things nailed them five out of five service creating a new dashboard all different types of type forms for check ins and upgrading that for our dads to track and monitor all their data. That's number one. And number two was a miscellaneous list. See, I don't go and respond to emails all the time. I generally stack them and twice a week I'll go through all the tedious stuff. Not that I don't like it, not that I don't enjoy. Definitely serves a purpose but I'm not going to be a slave to it every single day on all these little fires that I need to put out. Twice a week max internal external score and then R and R some reflections and revelations like that's a day done. That's it. You're writing 10 to 12 words with your number one thing in your power list. You got three lines above, three lines below. But ultimately the point of this is how to think. We'll dive into the tabs, but here are some of the key questions that are in this journal. I what are the feelings you want to have from the outcomes you desire? What are the outcomes you want to have from the actions you'll take to experience the feelings you desire? Who must you believe yourself to be right now to bridge the gap through actions, outcomes and feelings into your new identity. Why is this important to you? What drives you? That's the thousand days. So when I'm talking about how to think three years, thousand days, obviously I rounded that down 12 months. You've got 6083 hours. It's a lot, but it's not an hour goes quick. With 10 minutes into this podcast, by the time it's done will probably be a third of that hour. That one's gone bang, bang, bang. Then it's the next day. What is this identity you acquire over the next 12 months through your feelings, focus and actions? So you can see that this changes. Then we're looking at the quarter, this quarter. The most important thing is finding out what the most important thing is. Can you see how it's not hard just to peel the layers back a little bit and go, okay, well this is important, that's important, that's important. Well, there's not importance as in an S, it's not a plural. So only ever one most important thing, your most important thing is to find out what that is from which we can construct a different series of questions and go, okay, well if every area of my life and the performance in those areas of my life remain the same, what one area could I push and promote the most focus to get the greatest reward or return on? You see how this starts to change it a little bit? Like, you know, instead of going, what's the most important thing? You can ask yourself, oh, well, if everything else remained the same, what's one area that would have the greatest impact in my life? Then you can start to dial in. It's like, I want to lose weight out. Like just as a. And this isn't, we're not a fat loss program. It's just a very fast, easy way for a lot of men to understand when I'm bringing examples, let's use that and we'll use another one. I want to lose weight out. Okay, cool. Is going to the gym six days a week the low hanging fruit? Is that the most important thing that's going to get the result, like having got your shit together with your time, organizing yourself, with your family, with your work, with your business, what you're doing, maybe for you to get your shit together and your body in order, maybe should stop the late night snacking and implement a little bit of fasting to give yourself a bit of a cleanse for the first few weeks and then ultimately incorporate someone who's going to educate you and build up the areas where you need to. And having lots of carbs, lots of fats, lots of protein, the right way for your organization and your structure of your day to day routine at the moment. Maybe that's the low hanging fruit because that's completely out of order. And you know what, you already walk three times and you've got an active job. So is training more going to really be the answer? So when we look at this, we can start to find out what that is? Al, I'm really struggling with My wife, like, we're not connected. It feels like the spark's gone. I just, you know, I don't know what to do. I'm scared of her. Sometimes there's a bit of anxiety I don't want to push. When we clash, we clash big. Then when we don't, I suppress my feelings and emotions. Okay, cool. All right. You know, not really cool. But thank you for telling me and sharing that with me. Let's break this down a little bit here. There's an issue in connection with yourself and your wife. What's the most important thing and what is the source and the cause of this? Is it because you don't organize time? You're not around the family? You know, are you checking your phone? Are you on your phone 40 hours a fucking week? Why don't you check the settings and go to your screen time? Do you watch TV? Do you watch movies? Okay, so you spend about eight hours a week watching television. You spend 46 hours a week on your phone. Of that 46 hours, 18 hours of those is on social media networks, which you can categorize in the groups. All right, cool. So we've got about 26 hours that you're wasting. That's about three and a half hours a day. What's something that you're doing right now for your family and for your wife, which is showing, not telling, and being the ultimate leader for the family, whether it's housework or spoiling and celebrating her and the level of love and depth you can have in the next stage of your life or being there for the children to take some of the weight and the burden off her. Ah, the shift changes, the perspective changes, the focus changes. Maybe you don't need to do more for your wife, but you need to get yourself together, organize more throughout the time and how you prioritize and what you spend it on. This is what I'm talking about when I talk about finding the low hanging fruit and finding out what the most important thing is. Let's move on into the main focus. And that was a bit of a preface. Not that we're going to take a huge amount longer in this episode, but can you see here how I'm going to. I am. My skill set. It's not a gift. Most things in life are skill acquired. Like you learn them and you develop them and you focus on them and they become better. And it's not 10,000 hours. You can then spend 10,000 hours. Like people claim that with sport, you can spend 10,000 hours fucking around on Stupid things. So you'll become really, really good at those stupid things. Well done. Give yourself a pat on the back for that. Practice doesn't make perfect. Practice doesn't make progress. Precision and purpose. What am I doing and why? What am I doing and why? How well am I doing it and why Precision and purpose makes progress. So when we start to spearhead this into our tabs, this is how we create continuity and flow. It's not about that big pipe dream of going, this is what I want to achieve. I want the RDM ranch by 2025 and this, this. And that's like, man, that's fucking four years away. I got plenty of time, but what I don't have is time right now to fuck around. So let's strip that back. Okay. What do I need to do in the 12 months, what I need to this quarter, what I need to do this month. And this is where we start to bring in the tabs. Monthly TAV month one TAV. If we're looking at the quarter, three months, obviously, roughly 90 days. Month one TAV. Targets. What are the one to three targets that I desire? I wish I want to achieve in family, self and service. So for me, one of my targets if I peel back to to March, was go on a holiday with my family, book our next holiday, which is Noosa, in May, and then time block six to seven times a week just for my children. So lock that in, just the kids, no tech, no nothing. Awesome. What are the actions that must be true for me to achieve those outcomes? Well, set a time block structure and schedule with my family in my calendar, making that noticeable, setting alarms on my phone, removing technology, literally booking Noosa, obviously, and making sure that all lines up and the dates are right and they're relevant. And it works for my wife and, and works for the kids. And then ultimately the holiday that I went on in March, enjoying that with the family one on one time with Corinne, three times throughout the week of each week of the month of March as well. So spending time with my family, not just in the holidays and enjoying that, being present and limiting my tech time. No worries. That's great, Al. So you've got your targets, you got your actions version. Who must you become like right now to initiate that, put that energy out there in the universe or in your external reality out there in the real world, not just in your head and live and breathe that to which you can write one word, many words, specifics, doesn't matter. And I'll have a spreadsheet available not A digital copy of the entire journal. But I'll definitely have the tab available for you guys. Alexdabmovement.com presence, peace and harmony. A strong and playful father and husband. You know, I can be a very serious man, very intent with the actions and what I want to achieve. Very direct. They're all great skill. Like I live an eggshell free life. They're all great, but that's not the profile that all my children to become familiar with as being the only way that dad is that that just doesn't make sense to me. Doesn't make sense at all. So I want to remain that playful man even, even with the dads inside HPF like we do. We do dad joke Fridays and we laugh. But don't worry, we can, we can flick the switch and they're always gears and I can flick it, man, on a fucking dime. Like I can laugh, take the piss, be a smart ass, be witty. I can do all that sort of stuff, jokes and humor. Then on a dime, turn around and go bang. Laser focus. It's a skill set again that I developed through professional sport. Everyone else was jovial. Fuck, man. I could pull straight back into the point ahead the job on task and get straight into it. Targets actions version tav. Okay, what are the targets for self? What are the actions for self? What's the version? Who must you become? For me it was starting and re establishing a base for my body again being more connected to nature. And for me that's creating space, going for walks, just getting out. Like a large environment, generally natural too is something that's good for you. It really is. Whether it's trees in the forest or the beach or the ocean, just getting out, changing your perspective, your surroundings. I'm sitting here inside of RDM HQ right now doing this and I fucking love this room. It's amazing, it's awesome. It really is. But ultimately I need to make sure that I'm changing environment and resetting. When there's different stresses, different pressures and life is life, what are the actions I need to do? Okay, so I'm going to prioritize my walks, nature, taking the dogs down to the dog beach, heading to the park, in the park with the kids, on my own, getting my music set. All different moving parts of the actions and the version is loving and valuing myself and connecting with energy. Bigger than me, larger than me. That's I dm, that's the group, that's my family. I'm one person, right? I can influence and have power for sure, but it's having something connected larger than you and realizing how much that charges me up. Like that's what I wrote as the version of who I am that charges out and then service. So this is an exercise that I go through for the month. Okay, cool. That's the month. Awesome. They're the actions. No worries. Sunday, charge up. Weekly tav. What's your weekly tav? Weekly Targets Action and Version. What are the feelings I want to have that will confirm the 3, 3 keywords that describe you for this week and this month and guide my TAV below for a successful week in life? That's a small area. And for me for the month of March, it was tenacious, humble and embracing. They were my three words and I lived up to them and we did very, very well. Targets Action Version. So I'll go from the monthly tab into the weekly tab. Okay, so now my monthly tab is the holiday book. Noosa time blocking. Alright, what do I need to do this week? I need to organize some H and H time, some honey and handsome time with Corinne. Lock it in with her. We're going to do Wednesday night, We're going to do Saturday night. There are two times just us. We're alone with the kids. We don't have anyone at the moment who can look after the kids. So it's a nighttime activity after they go to bed. It's painting, drawing, doing some silly games. We're trying to interpret different things and board games, anything. I'm not just talking about making love. Clothes off. It's our time now. It's about collectively finding the ways that you connect with your wife and just spending time with her. You lose that identity, right, because you're the father, she's the mother, you've got the kids. That's your common cause, that's your common goal. Keep them alive, let them thrive. You know, like, okay, great. What about you individually? What about you as a couple? Like you were there before anything else and then you put it on the back burner. Fuck, mate. How do you think that'll play out? You know, this is the hard part because they may, what, wash over and go. It's okay, we'll be right. I understand. Understand. Because women are just as bad. Mothers are just as bad. They do the same, they self sacrifice, you know, and then it's like, okay, well if you don't stand up, mate and lead and wear the pants in leading this, then ultimately you'll both fall down and she'll just have these feelings. You'll just have these feelings. It'll just be a bit of a rut and then the rut just expands. And you think that's just what life is as you become an old couple. Fuck that, man. Not for me. No thank you. No way. The target's action version. So when I'm talking about leadership and when I just gave that example then of your relationships, that for me was H and H time and then scheduling a plan whilst we're away, having no tech and being present with them. And the version of me is blessed, man, to be given the life that I've been given and to have the family that I have around me. That's who I am. I'm a man who's very blessed. I'm feeling that. I'm recognizing that. I'm remembering that when you do this as the example I mentioned, with your wife or with the kids or with your business or with yourself, keeping your body in shape and whatnot and having good energy, when you do this properly, I promise you, you will win. Like fuck, man. You can't not. And you wait like, we've got a monstrous amount of testimonials that will be coming out from this journal. We've rolled out our first 50 and it's incredible how much this has helped and changed the lives of fathers on the inside of our coaching programs. Now, yes, we will make it available publicly soon. We're talking in talks with a publishing company to get it done on a large scale, obviously. But when we look at this, this is how you win, man. Like when I talk about or reflect on this episode that come into a conclusion with it's not only shaping how to think that creates the difference in your life. It's focusing those thoughts on the most important things in your life. When I say most important things, there's only one most important thing across the things. And the things are family, self and service. For us, that is our circles of significance. That's an RDM principle at the core, man. Like that. That is one of the founding principles of rdm. You are not fucking successful by any means, mate. I don't care how much money you have, I don't care how good your body is. I don't care how good your relationship is with your family. If you don't get those three, you are not a high performance father because you can have it. It is impossible. We've done it. We're doing it. I've done it. I'm doing it. Why wouldn't you have all three? Right? You are, you are leaning on your family. If you don't push hard and maintain a high level of energy and self respect with your own body and the value add to the world. You're leaning on your family and using them as a crutch to validate who you are in life and feelings. Then when all your children move out and then when things of the wife weren't as good as they could be because you don't have your shit together with your money, with your finances, with ultimately creating your legacy, everything starts to fall down on things that you leaned on as a crutch, thinking that you had control over it. When you don't, you've only got control over yourself and what happens on the inside of you. So be very fucking careful, mate. So I've seen that breakdown many, many times. Family self and service self, that's the big circle. That's the one in the middle, that's the one at the top. Because we know when you can be 100% in yourself. Not the detriment or destruction of those that you love around you or your family or your service. Yeah, we're not about training six hours a day and becoming Mr. Olympia. We get you right mentally, physically. Family wins, service wins, your business wins, Everyone wins. That's what a high performance father is. It's not just how to think, mate. It's how to apply how to think to the most important thing. And when you gift that attention in an active manner to what you focus on, what you aim at determines what you'll see. Which means you can remove all the clutter, all the fluff, all the bullshit, all the stuff that doesn't matter anymore because you're focusing on the most important thing in your life right here and now that you've gone through on a process or series of processes by dialing your tabs, working through your monthly tab, your weekly tab, and really bringing it straight down to what am I doing today? And then you might get lost. Okay, it's, it's Thursday. Fuck. I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit scattered. I didn't get to fill it in last night. I don't know where I'm at. It's like, okay, that's cool, let's go back. Go back to your weekly tab. Okay, now check Monday, check Tuesday, check Wednesday. Alright, beautiful. That's what you wanted to complete by the week. You're three days in. Where you at? It's Thursday. Ah, yes, of course, I'll miss that. I miss that point. Yeah, well, that's it. That's my one thing for the Day. Beautiful. Done. This is your rod and stuff, man. Like, you cannot, you cannot beat not just the principle of the tav, but this high performance father journal. Like I said, we'll have these available soon. But ultimately it's the process of not only how to think, but how to apply how you're thinking with the greatest level of focus on what's important for you and remembering that and letting that drive you through life. Because there will always be stress, there will always be chaos, there will always be something. But the way that you alleviate that something and make it nothing is by focusing on the something that is the most important for you. It's your life. Don't ever forget that. Even regardless of what I'm saying, if you don't agree with family self service, you think, no, that's bullshit out. All I need is my family and my business is going good. And it's okay, mate that I'm a bit overweight, but awesome. Good work, mate. How's that going to play out for you? As you get older and health issues start to come in, all of a sudden there's a breakdown. How do you think that'll affect your business or your family? That's what I thought. Like, this is something by chance that we've crafted together. Gone. Oh yeah, they're three cool areas. It's your fucking life, man. What are you doing with your inner circle? What are you doing with the outer circle? And what are you doing with you? It couldn't be more simpler. You do that properly by installing championship habits, by installing the TAV and making sure you're crystal clear on what you need to do, you will turn the tides. You will buy back time, rewind your body clock, and you'll have a better connection with your family than you've ever had before. I promise you that. That is our guarantee. Man to man. Take care. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Like I always say, take action. Apply action. Even if you don't have the sheet or downloadable sheet, you can contact me, I'll send you that one. Alexildabmovement.com but ultimately go into that. Targets. Action. What are the, what are the outcomes? What are the targets that I want to hit this week? Okay. What are the actions that I need to take to get closer to that? Another way to look at it is lead and lag measures. A lot of corporates use that style. It's. It does have some value. This is relevant for you. Targets action. Okay, who do you need to become? And if you struggle with that, reverse it. Oh, well, who do I want to be the version. Who do I want to be in this life? Who do I want to be this week? By the end of the week, who do I want to be a little bit closer to in the better version of myself? Okay, no worries. What sort of actions would that better person, that better version of you take? No worries. Well, what are the targets? What are the outcomes that the actions from that slightly better person than who you are today be? And then from there, you can make sure it's crystal clear. All right, well, cool. Let's. Let's make sure we're set here. Targets, action, who don't need to be and be that. Now, there's no excuse. If you can't be that now, find someone you can to move forward. One percent, that's all you need. And with that, mate, like I said, I promise you, you will move forward with the greatest success rate possible in winning the second half.