300. Four Years Later: Mrs Ranieri Is Back

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I get the giggles.

Okay, so here we are, 4 years later. I don't know what to call it yet. Mrs. Ranieri 2.0. But, um, that's how much we've been in demand. Wow. Since our first episode, it's taken 1,400 days for the people to be kicking the door down saying, we want more.

Here I am.

So, um, taken a little while. A lot's happened. Corinne, if you haven't figured that out, I've only got one wife. So Corinne, thank you for joining us.

I hope so.

It's been hard with Florence and trying to get some time to do this episode. Initially, I said to Crin, we should just do a marathon. And Crin said, what else is new? I didn't know what she was talking about, but I sort of understood what she meant. But I said, let's focus on the podcast today. So we—

I am not in any shape to do a marathon.

I think we're thinking about different marathons. That's all right. Obviously means what I was saying wasn't true. I measure marathons in microseconds, by the way. Um, so I'm already blushing. So what we decided to do was 4 episodes, and this is part 1 of 4, and build a bit of a mini series. So, uh, because it's just time, man. I mean, Florence is sleeping right now and she could wake up any minute, so we might have a third wheel, but, but let's, let's, uh, get through this. But 4 years, 4 years later. So a lot's happened. A lot's happened. The last time we did an episode was May 2022.

Wow.

Crazy. A couple of months before, um, the severe throat issue and what I underwent, which ended up being a multi-year journey, which really only sort of started to come good middle of 2025. It was crazy. So that was a proper sort of 3-year war. Um, and so many other things have happened, uh, including little Flossie, but—

Yeah, we would have never predicted that to happen in that garage that night that we would end up with 4 babies, but here we are.

That's right.

Family of 6 now.

That's right. So, um, last time you were on was episode 200. Here we are, episode 300. Um, just curious, going back to 2022, what do you remember about either that episode or where life was? And, uh, yeah, give us a bit of an update, Corinne. What's, what's happening? What's changed?

Where life was. Oh, that's a very, uh, complex question. We were in the garage at our little house in Badoe. Um, Which we no longer have that house anymore. Um, we had 3 young kids. Our eldest was in kindergarten at the time, I believe, and 2 little toddlers. Um, so yeah, we were in the thick of it at that time. I look back on, on that period of our life and I honestly, it's such a blur because we were in such survival. Um, I feel like we are kind of in that again as we sit here, which I would not have expected considering our eldest children are, you know, 10, 6, and 7. Um, but yeah, so looking back on that, I just remember being in the thick of it and like actually finding it such a novelty to get to sit with you in the garage and be on the podcast, um, with you. Yeah.

Pretty crazy. Uh, and active, active pain and punishment with little Flossie. Uh, bless her. She's such a gift. It's funny. You, you try and balance and juggle things, whether it's family time, attention, Finances, all that sort of stuff when it comes to your children, right? Because we know that they're not cheap. But then, uh, since she's been here, which she turns 1 next month, middle of November, um,

I'm just gonna go cry for a minute.

Couldn't, couldn't imagine life in our family without her. It's, uh,

absolutely,

yeah, it's, it's been crazy. But, um, but yeah, how's, how's life been for you? Obviously, you know, seeing what we've been building with HPF, yourself, we lived in Queensland. Um, in 2024, it was a bit of an adventure. Uh, what's, what's been your, what's been, what's been some of the biggest moments for you over the last 4 years and give us an update on, on, you know, how that has been as, as a, as a wife, as well as a mother, um, in our life, our family, and, you know, what's, what's really unfolded over the last 4 years.

Okay, I'm gonna not sugarcoat this. I'm gonna be 100% honest here. But, uh, the last 4 years we've had some incredible, amazing moments with our family and, you know, our life together. Um, and I wouldn't trade it for a second. If you had even told me when we were sitting up in Queensland that, you know, I would fall pregnant at— was I 37, 38? Um, and, you know, be back to square one with another baby, I would not have believed it. I honestly would have looked at you and said, no, that's ridiculous. That will not happen. Um, But yeah, in terms of sugarcoating, I'm not going to. The reality is I'm not at my best right now. Um, this year has been really hard for me. Um, I've struggled in many, many ways, ways that I thought that I had good control over. Um, I've loved being on maternity leave. I actually go back to work tomorrow, so that's a little bit sad. Only one day a week, but we'll get to that soon. Um, But yeah, in terms of just finding time to look after myself, um, has been extremely hard and I've put everyone else before myself. Um, probably not you as much as you would need, would have needed. Um, but in terms of the kids and making sure that their needs have been met, have been my priority. Bringing a new person into the family, um, always changes, you know, the complexity of things. And I, I never wanted the other children to feel like Mm-hmm. They're, you know, not as loved or they're feeling a bit displaced that they've got this extra person now, um, that takes up a lot of my time and I've been breastfeeding for 8 months, um, as well. So that was quite consuming. But, um, yeah, in terms of where I'm at and, and things like that, I mean, yeah, I'm not at my best and I'll be honest with that. Uh, it's a work in progress, which we're kickstarting. Um, You know, I'm— I haven't lost any of my baby weight, which is not something that's happened to me before. Um, so I've struggled a little bit with that mentally, uh, and physically. My body's been quite pained. Um, and just the recovery of everything has been really difficult being obviously older. And, you know, from the moment I had Florence, it's been a get-go. I've had kids that I've had to run around and look after. Um, plus you were off to Cozy the week after I had her. So it was just, you know, she arrived. was, you know, go, go, go. Um, so I haven't had much time to put back into myself. So we're just, just working on building that now. And it really showed me how important that is because I've let it go for a good, I would say, 2 years. Because even whilst pregnant, I was just in pure survival. I was very unwell, um, most of the pregnancy and just trying to get by surviving, doing all the things for the kids. Plus I was working 3 days a week as a teacher. Um, and trying to be here for you, it was hard and I didn't put much into myself and that's kind of spread over into the following year, um, which has been this year. So yeah, I'm kind of coming out of that haze now where it's like, hello, your body's not working properly because you haven't looked after it. So yeah.

Yeah, not easy, you know, and multiple caesareans, it's been tough and it's, and it's, uh, it's quite a journey that we all undergo with parenthood, as you, as you guys know, listening to this, you know, it's, um, It's one that has surprises that we do not know exist. You know, Roman having several operations was tough. Florence is looking like she may have some similar traits, uh, which we're getting testing done on, on, you know, the esophagus or the larynx and, and, uh, you know, some rare things. And, uh, finding out this year as well, Roman having, uh, epilepsy, although it all seems to be under control so far, which is great. Um, you know, it's, it's, this is the hard part about life, but also. I think how important it is to just be honest and transparent, you know, because men can be proud, but so can women. So I'd love to get your thoughts on this for the men. I think this would be a great episode for the men and their wives to listen to, but you know, it's, uh, not an easy thing. You, um, it's not an admission, but you sharing on, on the struggles and challenges of, of motherhood, you know, parenthood together, life. You mentioned me possibly not getting, uh, needs met or putting others first, or me not as much as the kids, but then the kids themselves have their own hierarchy, but then And the same goes with, with me and I'm looking after 4 kids, so I can't pour into your cup as much. And, and most people will forget the, the primary cup to pour into from which all the fuel source comes from, which is their own cup. So I'd love to get your thoughts. Walk us through, what are those struggles like for a mother that typically most, most women or wives may be too proud to admit, but what, what are some of the challenges and hardships that goes through? You know, you mentioned baby weight and stuff. Like, what are some real struggles that we as husbands and men Whether we're too busy or we don't know how to strike up a conversation to create support with our wives. What are some of those pitfalls, struggles that, um, a lot of women and, and, well, mothers are sort of too proud to admit? And then that becomes a 5, 8, 12, 17-year struggle that they carry themselves. Yeah, I'd love to, I'd love to get your thoughts on that, you know, and we're going to do other episodes about this stuff. Like this is a real catch up and diving into a few. key things with us, but, um, we'll definitely do an episode on, on, on what women think and so on and so forth, men. That's part of the, the series that we have. Uh, might be episode 2 or episode 3, but, um, but I guess while we're on the topic, we'd love to get some of your insights. You know, what are some of the real struggles and stories and mental struggles and challenges that, that wives go through? And from that, what's, what's a way that that us as husbands and fathers can help support them through the transition of having children to then getting themselves and their life back.

This got heavy really quickly. Um, I'm trying not to cry, to be honest. Um, even just thinking about going through that with Roman and, and him starting kindy this year and being diagnosed with epilepsy, um, really just took a toll on my, my being as a mum, um, after having a newborn baby as well. Um, But in terms of the load that, that we carry as mums and, and, um, what our husbands may not see, I mean, the perfect example would be, I think there was a time where you asked me something like, oh, how are you? And I just said good, but I wasn't good. And I later sent you like this huge message, text message explaining All the things that I actually just in that moment didn't physically have the time to tell you because we had someone wanting a snack, someone needed this, the baby was pulling on my dress. Um, I get so overstimmed by those little things and those noises, um, that, you know, someone constantly wants me or needs something that I just answer with, yeah, yeah, good, fine. Um, rather than going, well, actually— Things aren't fine. I, I'm not sleeping well. Um, I feel like I'm not having time to feed myself. I'm just eating scraps of whatever's left on someone's plate. Um, I'm running on empty. I haven't had time to exercise. Um, I don't know the last time I had a conversation with a friend or, or even just been able to pick up the phone and had a proper chat with my mom. Um, all those little things, um, really come into it and it If you don't get on top of it, it does snowball. And I feel like I didn't get on top of it because it was, you know, running to medical appointments, being there for the kids at school for every award, for every occasion, making sure that I showed up for them even though I'd had a baby. Um, plus we had a lot of appointments with the baby, so it's just all those little things. And then you've got the main mundane things that you do every day. You know, I wake up, I've got to breastfeed, I have to pack school lunches, I have to get the washing going, I have to clean the dishes. I have to make sure, you know, that the house is somewhat tidy and safe so that no one's going to get injured walking through the kitchen to the lounge room. And, you know, especially now we've got a little person crawling around that, um, you know, picks up everything and anything, little bits of Lego, anything that the other kids lay— have laying around. Um, so to, to list that load, it's continuous, you know, like I am on, I think about 17 different group chats for my kids' sports, their class chats, like Like, don't even get me started. I feel like that needs its own episode because it's— we are parenting in a time that is so different to how we were raised. And I feel like it's just gone so far one way where we have so much communication you can't even shut off from it. My phone's lighting up at nighttime about someone asking me a question, you know, about a dance thing that's happening in 3 weeks' time. We just need to learn to shut off from it. And it's really important to do that. And I'm still trying to learn that it's okay to not get back to someone, you know. And let go of that worry that they're going to think that I'm, you know, not a good mom or I'm not a good person, that I'm not keeping up with everything. Because I think we put that pressure on ourselves, especially, you know, I like to go to work and I like to do a good job. I like to be at home and I like to do a good job at home. But the thing is, it's really hard to do all of that. So just allowing myself to go, you know what, you don't have to be the best all the time. And it's okay for you to sometimes feel things too.

Yeah. So what I picked up from that is women lie. When they tell you they're good, they're really not. Is that— I'm just kidding. Sorry. I know that's— but men, isn't that, isn't it wild? And the biggest, and what's wild is the load that we carry. The man carries, like we carry the same amount of load. But it's different baggage, you know, and that's, that's, I wrote the word here as Corinne was talking and the word's alignment. Like that's so important because as soon as you get, I gotta tell you, man, as soon as you get into a measuring contest, it's not, not it's over, but it's, it's dangerous waters. It's a dangerous slippery slope because there are things that Corinne does every single day that there's no, there's no way, no way I could handle that. Whether it's the focus, the endurance, the temperament, call it what you will. And that doesn't mean she stays in one room of the house and cooks food and, and I just go out and work, you know, Corinne's going, which we'll talk about that, going back to work, uh, this, this week. Uh, but you know, it's, it's understanding, uh, which I've spoken about a lot, which really grinds my gears. Um, the whole equality movement that was pretty big. Well, I mean, a few years ago, but it's, it's equality of value, not equality of output. Like it's, it's, You know, I'm sitting here right now and it would be, it would actually be disrespectful both ways to say, yeah, Corinne's as strong as Alex can and can lift heavy items like Alex can. That's, that's just, that's just stupid. Doesn't make sense. Well, you're

pretty, well, actually, I actually cannot.

On that, started playing, started playing baseball. So we talk about our ADHD family, just started playing baseball and I'm going to make, I started looking up the stats on the Major League Baseball and there's a few guys in their 40s. So I reckon I've still got a shot.

And we have a lot of time for this.

That's right. Yeah, I didn't have enough on my plate, but, um, unbeknownst to me, uh, Corinne steps up to the plate. We've got a tee and we've got a net. And, uh, I realized why she had the nickname Slugger back in the days. Just starts nailing. I was like, what? Who are you? Keep that bat away from me.

I did play softball for New South Wales, uh, as an early teen. So I kept that one on the side for a little while.

But, um, yes. But alignment's so important. For instance, Stella wants to do all these different things and we pulled her out of touch footy for at least probably half the season because she's got dancing and we're going to take her to the whole Central Coast for some bloody reason stops on AusTag touch footy days. You can't get anywhere. It's like 350,000 people need to get to one oval. So that's a nightmare to start with, with driving and parking. Then she can only play for 10 minutes and then we've got to take her to dancing. I was like, well, what's the point? So alignment is so important. And not even on, on, on 3 different levels, alignment to yourself, what I want out of life and, and the avatar that I step into called quote unquote my identity and the hats that I wear as a man, as a husband, as a father, as someone who's providing value or service, like, you know, wearing the hat of being, um, a servant for the mission of HPF. What does that look like to me and getting that alignment and then alignment as husband and wife and then alignment as a father to my children, but then alignment as parents. So there's lots of layers to this and that That's a key thing that comes up, um, for, for us, which I'll tell you what, like, we don't have it nailed perfect. It's a constant. It's a constant. That's it. Like, work in progress or not, like, it's, you know, whether things improve, they dip, they need to get back up, they get even better, they maintain. It's just a constant, um, that most people neglect because they don't value it. They think they're too busy and they assume because you live under the same household that, you know, a bit of a she'll be right attitude both ways. Not, not a fault of the woman or the man because of how we're wired, It does go both ways. But on that, the second part of the question was like, I know we'll talk about this in another episode, but just briefly, any thoughts or tips or what will come to mind so that men can, you know, it's not, oh, they're not really good, are they? And just interrogating you with more questions. Um, it is giving you space or allowing that message like you sent me to, to sit and then come back to you and work through it. But any, uh, any advice or tips on, on fathers? I guess it's a general question to support. their wives if they're going through this? Could be perimenopause, post, could be that they, they got laid off or made redundant. Could be the children have just left the home. There are significant changes that impact both of us. But yeah, in terms of supporting the wife through what seems to be this 20-year pocket, uh, yeah, any thoughts?

Oh, that's a really good question. Um, yeah, I do have some thoughts on it and I, I hope I can answer this You know, in the best way possible. But for me, I didn't even realize that I had this emotional block to speaking about where I was at, because having your 4th baby, everyone expects you to be fine. No one checks in. No one's like, hey, how are you doing? Like, how are you? You know, how are you feeling? Like, how is everything? Like, oh, all I get is, oh, you're so amazing. Like, you've got this all the, you know, all the time. You're doing great. Like, I wish I could Do what you do, but no one actually sees you and sees how you actually are just swimming. You just keep swimming to survive through it all. Um, in terms of how I could have expressed myself better, I, I actually now just having this conversation with you just bring back things that used to work for us. And it may not work for everyone, but for us, you know, when we were going through challenging times, um, If I felt like I couldn't express myself properly because, you know, the kids might be listening, or, um, we just don't physically have that time to have that conversation, nut everything out, we used to write letters to each other. And we haven't done that in an extremely long time, again, because it's time-consuming. And by the end of the day, I sit there and I'm like in a paralytic state where I just am like, I just can't even move my face to even like open my eyes. So to write a letter, was, you know, the last thing on my mind, just in pure survival. So I think that that's something that, you know, you could do. Like if your partner is saying, you know, I'm not coping, I'm not— well, tell me about it. Okay, you can't tell me about it. I want you to write it down. Just do some dot points. Put it on a whiteboard, put it on a piece of paper, type it in a text message. When you have a breather, go or go down and have a coffee and sit there and write it to me and tell me. What you're feeling. And guys, you've got to be also aware that when she does this, it may not look how you would expect. It may shock you. It may upset you. You might feel like you've let her down. You might feel, um, that she's attacking you. It's not. It's just all these feelings that she's suppressed are coming out and it's not a personal attack on you. It's just literally like the weight of being a mom and just getting that out and being like, This is how I'm feeling. Okay. Um, and sometimes just getting that out and having you actually understand and be able to offer support is really valuable rather than just, you know, you want to fix the problem straight away. Well, I didn't mean to do that. And I've been trying this like that, that's going to cause an argument straight away. So it's just about her expressing it, you taking it on, listening, and then responding rather than jumping straight into how can I fix it type thing. I think it's really important. Do you have Do you have any other suggestions on how, you know, you think someone could effectively communicate if they're feeling super overwhelmed and they can't express it by life?

Yeah, I've just been writing a couple of notes here. Um, the, uh, no, look, change of environment's really important. Uh, that's what you mentioned, like going and grabbing a coffee. It's, it's, you've got to break the cycle. And that's the thing. People think it doesn't matter. The thing I've found, like, it looks, it takes, takes two hands to clap. You know, the woman needs to be as responsible as the man, but responsibility, um, has, has different markers or different, I guess, different signals that might spark or unlock that, right? And the, the signal for a woman could be the space, some questions, a letter, Post-it note, anything that just allows her to remove from past or future and, and bring her back To the present moment. Uh, they're emotionally wired, um, which even means in the present moment, um, things like phones and other environmental distractions can also still pull her away from just having that presence in that space and time, like writing a letter or expressing yourself. For the man, it's, it's presence in, in simply having the time and capacity to be in one spot. Remove the work, remove any other shit that doesn't matter. And, and just, just, just be here and be open and willing to receive the message. Because you're right, like, there's times where you've given me feedback and I've taken it as, as rejection, but really that was just, uh, it was just, it was you communicating and expressing yourself, your position, your views. It didn't mean it was right or wrong. It didn't mean it was absolutely true. It didn't mean it was absolute. It didn't mean that there was necessarily a problem. It was just a way that you processed and shared what was on your mind and your heart. Just offloading. Yeah, just, just, just offload, which is fine. So that's the other thing too, I'd say. My advice, this is really hard though, because there are a lot of men who might not have intimacy for a long period of time and, and women scoff at that, but that's fucking bullshit. Like it matters to a man. That's a point of connection for us. That's so important. Like it's not, it's not a dirty thing. So, so it's a delicate thing where that could be rejection if it's been 6 months, 18 months, 3 years, and we hear those stories. Um, that's really rough and, and tough. So it's that delicate balance too, men, but also it is trying to adopt that, that universal approach for both of you to not take things personally, but also be personally invested in, in what you're building together in your life as man and woman, as husband and wife, as mother and father, parents of the household. So that's hopefully that expands a little bit on that. Um, we're going to take a quick 1-second break. Not that you'll notice, cause I'm just going to hit pause cause we can hear our baby screaming. We'll be back. So we're joined with another guest. If you hear any shrieks or screams, I promise you it's not me. I'm safe. I'm okay. Um, and I'm not being abused by Corinne, but, uh, hopefully there's some value in those last 2 pieces that Corinne and I shared. But Corinne, like you, what, what have you, what's something you've learned about yourself as a mother and as a wife? In the last 4 years that you didn't know before? You know, I'd love to get some insights, like, because I think one of the hardest things, guys, is it's not about pressing, pushing, or pressuring people, hey, you have to grow. Like, all of you listening to this have some sort of ambition in life. Otherwise, why would you be here? You wouldn't listen, member or not. So, and that's fine, but that's a, that's measured differently. I don't expect my wife to grow the same way I am. I don't expect her. To grow at all. And that's, that's a hard thing to say because I want her to. Why? Because the, because there's, there, of course there's pain and discomfort, but that's life. But there's so much fruit towards growing and becoming more as a human. I really love that. That's shaped my entire life. So of course I want, that's why I do this podcast. I want all of you to get the best of yourself and give the best of yourself. So that's, that's not easy to do. Like who points at their wife, you know, I'm not going to make the mistake of Corinne's age, but she's not in her 40s yet. So I'm not going to talk about, you talk about getting older. Oh, I won't make that mistake of talking about your age on His podcast. But, but no, but seriously, like, whether you're a woman who's 42, 48, 52, like, yeah, like, what do you do? You stand there and point and say, hey, you need to grow and develop and do personal development. It's not, it's not a common thing, but, but I think there's a lot of lessons through life that, that we neglect or don't spend the time reflecting on. But as you sit here, while I'm giving the baby this bottle, what's something you've learned about yourself in reflecting on the last 4 years? Because motherhood is not Fatherhood is not just, yeah, I've had 2 kids now, I've got it. I've had 3 kids now, I've got it. We could have 10 kids and there's still problems and challenges we don't know that exist. So what's something you've learned about yourself as a mother and as a wife over the last 4 years since having Flossie as well in the last 12 months? But yeah, I'd love to get some insights.

Oh, that's another really layered question. Um, something that I have learned in the last 4 years is Oh, this, I mean, it's limitless really. I've learned so much in the last 4 years, um, even with the older kids, just about like really how quick that goes. Um, you know, especially having a baby now and you almost start forgetting what it was like when they were this age, um, so quickly. Uh, and I guess it's just looking at slowing down, taking those moments and trying to appreciate the small things with each and every person you're family. Um, something else that I've really learned is, uh, just this consistently new form of strength that I didn't know existed within me. Um, just enduring so much, um, to bring these little people into the world. Um, you know, anyone who's gone on an IVF journey knows what I'm talking about. Um, We did, you know, have Florence. That's a story for another time, but she, she was our another IVF baby. And I, I was terrified, to be honest, to have to have my 4th cesarean. I've had really complicated pregnancies in the past. So, um, you know, being a mom and having 3 kids, I literally was terrified that I was going to die before I gave birth to her. Literally the night before we had her, I printed out photos of me with each of the kids. Oh my God. And I put them in a picture frame and I gave them a picture of me just in case anything happened. And I know that sounds really trivial and even now, like I'm getting emotional talking about it, but you know, we just never know. And these things do happen to families, unfortunately. And, um, yeah, going through that and I'm sat there that morning saying, what if I actually don't feel like having a cesarean today? I don't, I don't know if I want to do this right now. And the doctor's like, well, you don't have a choice. We're doing this today. Um, and then just. Trying to get through that situation that I knew what was coming. I knew what was ahead and I knew there was a beautiful gift waiting at the end of it. Um, it doesn't matter if it's your first time, your second time, your third time, your fourth time, it doesn't get any easier and it's still there and it's still hard. Um, and you still go through those emotions and I've started learning that, that, that's life. Like it's so up and down. I was only saying to another friend yesterday, um, my friend's husband, I just said, gosh, I just feel like I'm constantly chasing. I'm just chasing my tail in some way, whether it's trying to get on top of the washing or trying to get on top of, you know, the Christmas shopping or the kids' birthdays or getting the kids and running them to parties and after-school activities and all the things that we do. Um, then, you know, trying to find time to be with my husband and, you know, have a meal with him that's not interrupted. Like, what is that luxury? Um, but just, yeah, probably the last 4 years I've learned that I need to prioritize things for myself. Um, and when I let that go, everything else falls apart, you know. Um, I've really struggled with a lot of inflammation this year and, you know, even just carrying Florence around the house is, is hard at times. We've got a lot of stairs so that it's difficult. Um, and it all just compresses. So just trying to find my way back out of a bit of a hole that I've been in, in just surviving. So just learning to be patient with myself. myself, um, and trusting that, you know what, everyone, everyone else will be okay. They may not like it that I'm taking time out for myself, but they're actually going to survive and it's going to be okay. Um, I think that's probably one of the biggest important things that I have learned this past couple of years.

Yeah, really, really insightful, you know, looking at the, the combination of, of time and how we measure Time and the change of time through our children. And also knowing that, and you see that, like, it's, it's not weak to speak and blah, blah, blah. And I get that, that's great. Like all those initiatives, I'm all for them, but just understanding, like, especially for women, giving yourself and each other permission. Like same with guys down at the pub, getting, pissing their lives away. Like there are some really bad echo chambers out there in society and in the world, but, but knowing that, hey, it's okay. It's okay to struggle. Like, that's the thing too. And, and hopefully there's some wives listening to this. Like, it's okay. It's okay to struggle. It's okay to not have it all together all the time. And that's why I talk about, especially through my own journey, man, I've been humbled so many times. Like, pride cometh before the fall, right? Like, being too proud to really honestly assess your life, the situation, the fact that you need help with others or a better support network or other people. It's HPF, man. HPF gives me so much more than I give to HPF. Just, just knowing there's a brotherhood there keeps me accountable. Early morning in the gym, late night in the gym, not just lifting a weight, but I'm talking about like a high exertion of force when everything else says sleep or don't. That's why I use that as an example. Like you're really up against it. And all the other scenarios you can think of, keeping your shit together, keeping cool, calm, collected, in control, being the chief with your children, your temperament and nature to be able to give them loving guidance, support, but also firm direction and boundaries. And same, same with your wife and being that loving romantic, but at the same time having good healthy boundaries, and at the same time knowing when to be a little bit of, um, you know, be the productive panda, not a pushover panda, right? Where you can be soft and nurturing and supportive. And yeah, like, that's— it's okay to struggle, um, and to, to— like, I hate the term self-made man. Like, they were early in my podcast episodes. Like, there's no— like, give you an extreme example. Yeah, where do you get your oxygen from? So it might seem silly, but it's true. There's nothing, there's no such thing as self-made. Um, so I really love that, Corinne. Great, great insights and lessons and learning. And same for me. Like, I feel completely different now versus the start of this year, let alone 4 years ago, you know. Um, crazy. But, uh, I do have a question, um, which I'd love for you to answer. What's it? If someone asks you, like, what's it actually like to be married to Alex Redieri, the crazy nut that he is? But, uh, and you had to give an honest 30-second or 30-hour, um, answer, what would you say? What's, what's it like? Give us the truth. The people demand it. What's it actually like, uh, to be married to, uh, to— I was going to say to a mug like me, but you should never speak ill of yourself, even when it comes to, you know, Around the team, hitting a few dingers at baseball practice maybe, but, um, you know, we, we have a bit of a joke and a laugh, but you should never talk or think ill of yourself. It's not a good pattern, even if it's lighthearted. Um, so I won't say what's it like to be married to a mug like me because I'm not a mug, but yes, the people want to know though. Me too. I'm very curious. Uh, what's it like? What's it like to be married To Big Al, or as they called me once when I ordered a coffee and they wrote on the side of the coffee down in Victoria, Miguel. Apparently I didn't say Big Al. I'm like, that's a funny way to spell Big Al. And they kept yelling out Miguel. I'm like, who's Miguel? And I look, it's like M-I-G-U-E. I was like, who's Miguel? And like, yeah, yeah, for you, for you, señor. I was like, oh, okay. Learn something new every day. My whole life I've been calling myself Alex, but my name's actually Miguel anyway. What's it like to be married to Miguel?

All right, Big Miguel. Is that who you say? Miguel? I can't even say it properly. I also have had an incident with coffees where they actually, instead of writing Corinne, they write Karen. Um, and I've stood there.

Or Korea. Would you believe it? My wife's called after a country.

A whole country. Korea and Karen. So yeah, I've just given up. I actually give the people my kids' names now so that I don't have an error when they're Um, calling out my name for coffee. Uh, what is it like to be married to you? Is this really the most asked question that people want to know? Um, oh, it's many things. Uh, you definitely display massive, uh, Labrador energy. So if you think of like a Labrador puppy, that is my husband. Um, he's constantly jumping here, there, and everywhere. Um, he, if he wants to do something, he will do it. There is no question. There is no doubt in my mind that if he's decided he's been interested, it's happening. It is on. He doesn't do things in halves. Um, he just said like baseball and just, yeah, this is the new, uh, hyperfixation at the moment, which he's really into, which I love because, you know, it, it is something special that he's sharing with our son Roman. And I love that, you know, he's one of 4, uh, sorry, one of 4 kids, but we've got 3 girls. So, um, the fact that he has a dad that jumps in and does these things with him, um, it's just everything to me and, and to him. So very special. Um, look, I'm not gonna lie, there was part of me when he was like, oh, I'm gonna play baseball. Yeah, great. Let's just put something else on top of our already very full lunchbox. Um, it did stress me out because I thought, well, this is gonna be more time away from me. It's gonna be harder for me. I'm gonna be stuck at home with the kids. Like, how are we gonna manage that? Um, but it's just, you know, give and take. So if he wants to do something else, that's fine. It's just we have to to give up something else. So, you know, he's given up a gym session once a week to do that, and that's fine. I do also become quite inspired because for me, the thought of joining a team sport is all too hard right now. I don't feel at my best. I'm not fit. I'm tired. I feel like I would injure myself if I did anything more than, you know, step over the curb. So I do get inspired watching him take on new things. He's never played a game of baseball in his life. I'm quite knowledgeable given that I played state softball as a child, and watching him go out there and just give it his all like that's it takes balls, and that's what it's like being married to him. You know, he just doesn't care. He will give it a go. He's got you know let go of the ego. It's something he wants to do, and you know what? Why can't you try something new when you're forty? Like absolutely yes, you can, and you should because you know in twenty years' time it's going to be. A lot harder. Um, look, being married to him, I imagine, is similar to other people's marriages. It's up and down. There are times where we're so busy and, you know, I'm like, gosh, I need to check in. Like, what is he doing? I remember when we were young and dating, I would be like, hey, what are you having for lunch? Like, and it used to annoy him, but I just wanted to hear from him. So now I could go all day without having spoken to him, and I hate that. So, um, you know, trying to make an effort Yeah. To, to do those things is obviously really important. But, um, look, I married my best friend. I'm very lucky to have known him through many seasons of life, from being teenager, young adults before kids, um, to being married and, you know, 3 kids to 4 kids. Um, and it's just constantly adapting to the new versions of ourselves. And Alex mentioned before about growth and things like that. And yeah, I mean, I personally don't feel like I've had a lot of growth in the past 4 years, I've kind of been stable and I've had small wins and small achievements here and there. But we're always trying to continually grow because if we don't both grow together, then, you know, you risk the risk of growing apart. And that's a priority to me. I don't want to grow apart from him. I don't want our family to grow apart in any way. So it's, you know, one person can grow, but we need to all continue growing and take us with you. You know, He's got his backpack very full with all of us in there with him. Um, but yeah, being married to him, look, it's, it's like an Energizer Bunny, um, with a Duracell battery. So I had one when I was a kid. It's just constantly going. Um, we are very much an ADHD household, so I can match that energy in some extent. Um, but yeah.

Yeah, well done, Corinne. Uh, it was almost textbook to the script that I gave you and you read it almost perfectly. So I've got your bag of money at the front door. Labrador. Labrador. Wow. You know, when I think of a Labrador, I mean, it could be worse, could be pug. You could have looked at me the whole time. They're awesome little creatures. I hope we get a pug one day on the farm and I'll call him Otis. I think of a Labrador, I think of a, you know, a dog that's got a brilliant set of teeth, incredible, incredible fur. willing to put his head underwater in a pool and do whatever it takes to get that tennis ball out from the bottom. Um, I mean, they should float technically, but also when I look at a Labrador, I, I sort of see nothingness behind the eyes, almost like they don't have a brain. So no, I appreciate it. It's good. It's good feedback. Thank you. Um, the, you know what, like it's, uh, and I do appreciate, um, you know, your insights and, and transparency, but it's, uh, you know, like I'm an intense man. Um, I'm very passionate about what I believe in. Uh, my nature can be very candid and, and short at times. Um, I can, uh, definitely, um, be, you know, not, not infatuated, but, but, you know, um, like you said, hyperfocused on you or the kids or, and that, that's a lot for Bill taking. I don't think, I don't think every— I don't think everyone could handle. handle me or handle my love, um, or my energy or intensity. But also there are definitely times where, um, I want to recluse like the recluse spider and just take some time out, uh, away from everything too. Naturally, naturally an introvert, but just, um, yeah, really have a large love for life. So that, that does lead to struggles and challenges. Me not feeling heard, me not feeling understood, me being a bit over the top at times, being too pushy, too direct. We talk about the chief actually, and that's what I want to dive into. Um, because it's a constant, but what I like is, what I like is no matter what's happening with the family, um, because we're not perfect, there's things I do that I'm sure irritate you, like just kicking my undies off and flinging them as far as I can off my foot and walking away laughing. Ah, shit. But you know, it's, um, and, and vice versa. But what I like is how quickly we can realign. I think that's really important. Um, one of the common threads, I guess you've heard me talk about becoming the chief, right? So when to be, when to be Viking, when to be Panda. And I remember, and I do use this example, I hope you're okay with it, but there was a time ages ago where I was like, hey, if I was just a yes man, you know, would you like that? And you're like, yeah, of course. And I was like, okay, so if I was like your puppy dog, just did everything you want, like, would you like that? And you're like, well, yeah, you know, at least I get what I want and blah, blah, blah. And things around the house done and I remember I said, yeah, but would you, would you respect me though? And would you want to, would you find me attractive? Would you want to have sex? It was something like that. And you're like, no, actually I wouldn't. So we talk about being the chief, which is, it's not about being a tyrant. I think, I think, you know, whilst I give a lot of panda love, I can slip into the Viking 4 kids crazy household pretty quickly. And I'm very conscious of trying to be better at that. But there is this balance, right? When, when to be Viking, when to be panda, and when to be the chief, which balances them as well. Yeah. So when to be softer, when to be a bit firmer, and also still bringing that romantic in. I think that's important for a household. Otherwise, what does separate you between, uh, man and wife and just housemates, you know? Like, and I guess, like, have you ever felt like we've slipped into housemates mode? And if so, what do you feel has pulled us back? And what are your thoughts, I guess, on, you know, that, that sort of dynamic of leadership in a relationship? being the chief and when you need to be a bit firmer as a man, a bit softer. And I guess what you see in the world with, with, you know, um, men being emasculated. And I mean, we're probably dipping into the second episode, but, but I guess just tying it together, you know, have you ever felt like we've slipped in housemates mode and, you know, what's, what's pulled us back and what are your thoughts about a man leading and balancing that energy of being the chief and the Viking and the panda?

It's a hot topic. Um, interesting. I do actually remember that conversation that we had very clearly. And, um, the first thing that comes to my mind when you just relived that scenario that we went through was, yeah, give me everything I want. That's awesome. But it also seems to, for some reason, for me, seems to put you in the friend zone area. Um, you know, give me what I want. Let's do this. Listen to me. Um, all the great things I want to do, but at the same time. Um, it just doesn't, it just doesn't, I don't know. It just doesn't do anything for me. Um, yeah, you've always been—

That's what I've been trying to tell the men. I'm telling you, man, like, I want to give you everything. Sorry to interrupt you. I want to give you everything, but I can't. And, and I shouldn't because it always comes at the cost of something else. But that's, that's the problem that a lot of men face. It's like, it's not, and it's not your fault too, Corinne. This is a common thing with women, but, um, sorry to interrupt.

No, that's true because even like, if, if Um, I was having a chat with all my girlfriends, or, you know, just a group of women from one of the kids' sports. And, you know, if I was the one sitting there going, oh, my husband does this for me, he does this for me, there's this man, like, I literally just, you know, turn up and everything's done for me. And, you know, if I want to go to work, I can, but I don't have to. Like, all these wonderful things. Um, I feel like they wouldn't even be able to relate to me. And I also would feel like, what am I contributing? So Um, yeah, I, I, in the past, obviously, you know, you and I dated from a young age, but if you came into my life as that type of person, and you know, you were infatuated with me, I was your hyperfixation for a while. I don't think I am anymore. He's got a lot of other little women that, um, are obsessed with him, and that's fine. I can stand back a little bit, but, um, Yeah, during that time, I think if you had have just 100% been all about me and whatever I want to do, um, it might have drove me a little bit crazy because I am quite an indecisive person. So if everything relied on me, that's a big responsibility, um, keeping you happy as well as my happiness. Like, I would find that really full-on. So, um, yeah, if that, if that answers that. What was the other part of the question?

Just talking around and around the Little Women thing, I think Florence steals the— is taking the cake at the moment. It's funny, I was, um, I was— I picked Lillian up and I wasn't trying to make her jealous, but I was just carrying Lillian and just singing a little baby song that I sing to Florence, but not looking at Florence. Man, she was going ballistic. She was kicking her legs and screaming and making all these noises. I go, geez, the others are getting jealous. But, um, but no, and that's— look, and, and that may or may not have happened earlier on in the piece, but I I don't feel like we've ever been housemates, even when there's been, um, the tension or drifting with kids, commitments, and all that sort of stuff. I actually have never felt like that. But maybe, maybe you have, maybe you haven't. But, um, it sounds like, you know, we've got a pretty good dynamic where, you know, you, you want me to, to lead and, and call the shots and make decisions to support you. But that was probably my next question, but But that, which ties together talking about the chief, but you know, when I lead, when I lead well at home, you know, what does that actually look like to you? And then when does it sort of tip into control? So I think you've touched on what you don't want, like a panda, which is like, hey, whatever you want to do, whatever you want. And you make the decisions from an indecisive point of view. But that, that's really what I'd love to then expand on. Like, what does that actually look like? I guess for me, but then, you know, happy to share about our relationship, but, but for a man in general. When they're leading at home, when I'm leading at home, what does that actually look like to you? But then if we're talking the chief, when to be the chief and when that could be seen as a panda, which you touched on, or when that could be seen as a Viking, you know, when does that tip into control? So when I'm leading well at home, what does that actually look like? Um, and then when, when does, when is there a risk of leadership tipping into the bucket of being controlling?

Okay. Um, also just channeling back to the housemate thing. Yeah, I also agree with you. I don't feel like there's been really a time where I've gone, oh, I just feel like I'm his, um, like housemate or roommate. Obviously there's times when you're away and, and, you know, we're kind of passing the, the torch on who's doing what at home. Um, but yeah, I still feel like we maintain that pretty well. I think if we had more of a social life for ourselves, then we could easily fall into the trap of, um, living a bit like housemates. You know, you're going out with your friends and I'm going out with mine, and we'll cross paths when we can. I think that's, that's probably something we've got going for us, that we don't have a lot of time for that. So, um, that's a positive. Um, getting on to, um, uh, you leading at home and what does that look like to me, and, um, it not tipping into control, that's a really good, good question. Um, I grew up in a, you know, a very strong feminine household. So, um, we were taught to be very independent women, uh, women, and to not feel like any man will control us. So if I ever feel backed into a corner with you, you know, I shut down pretty quickly. Um, I don't react the way you would expect me to react. Um, you know, that'll be my first point where I'll start crying, um, getting upset over something, and you'll be like, what's wrong? And I'm like, I'm just, I'm just feeling feeling like it's too— like, I just need to make my own choice here, or I need— I'm not feeling like I'm being heard, or I'm not feeling like Corinne is being able to answer this. It might be the mum version of me, or it might be the wife version of me, but what does Corinne actually want? And sometimes it's really hard when you wear so many hats to listen to that voice. And like, you know, I only get one chance at this life as well. What do I want in this life as Corinne, not just your wife, as the mother of our children, as the teacher, as the author, all the things that I do? You know, so we do have to have a voice and we have to make sure that that is also heard. Um, but in terms of when you lead at home, what does that look like to me? Well, for me, I feel like when you're leading your best is when I feel most supported. So we're nailing the timetable, the juggle of the kids, getting around, um, doing all the things we need to do. Um, we've maintained good meals at home. We're not stressing like, oh, there's no food and when's our next meal coming? Where are we? We're gonna have to eat out and we've just wasted a whole heap of money on takeout food and things like that. Um, I love it. Like, one of the things you do, and I've told you this before, one of the best gestures you can do, um, is literally go and fill my car up. And you, you put a full tank of fuel in my car, and sometimes you leave a little choccy on the seat for me, like a little twirl or something. And like, those little gestures just mean everything to me because with 4 kids, Mm-hmm. And rushing around. I don't really like having to fill up the petrol. I don't always go through the, oh, I've got to get all the kids out of the car to pay for it, all those stresses. And also the extra time that it takes when you're already struggling to not be late for everything, um, in my life right now. So, um, yeah, when you lead that way and you're thinking ahead for me and going, ah, look, there's not that much fuel, it would probably mean a lot to her if I fill that up. And, you know, that's one less job that, um, she has to worry about. I really appreciate that. Um, I also feel really good when we have chat, a good chat, sit down and chat about our finances. Um, and you take some lead and control on that and reassure me that, you know, everything's going to be okay. Because at times, um, in our relationship, I have been the main breadwinner, like going back to when we first got married and stuff like that. And I still carry that, um, burden. Even though, um, even though I am just coming off maternity leave and obviously not working full-time. So I do feel, uh, when you lead in terms of that and help me feel secure and that things are okay, then I don't have to worry as much as to, oh, where am I going to find money to pay for this? Or, um, you know, thinking ahead like, oh, are we able to go— going to be able to afford to go here or do this? Um, when you reassure me that, hey, we're not in that situation anymore, we've moved on from that, that really helps me, um, with my mental load. And yeah, that's, I guess, what it comes down to for me. When you're leading, I feel, I feel really secure at home. Um, touching back onto when does it tip into control, um, are you meaning in terms of like, when am I feeling controlled or in terms of— Well, there's like, yeah, so

there's So there's, you know, um, what I'm picking up, like, and I wrote a couple of notes here actually, it's not a case of emotion versus logic. Like I talk about this a lot, man, where women are emotionally wired. They're like a 6-lane highway. It leads to emotional regulation because of how they're wired, which can also lead to emotional volatility, right? Um, but that's really helping them in rearing and raising the kids and, and You know, women are women and men are men, and men are more logically wired with a larger emotional portion of the brain, um, being emotionally based, although it's not switched on as much. It's like a pendulum. So, but when it swings, it swings hard. So one thing when you're talking, I was just listening to was more around like, you know, filling up the car and, and, and, you know, like, yeah, the little choccy, but, you know, Corinne doesn't know that I'm getting like 3 for $5 and I eat the other 2 in a tub of Ben and Jerry's, but that's, you The value men of pouring into your own cup. Like, I'll put it in, I'll get a little chocolate. I'm like, yeah, I just had, you know, 600 grams of Ben and Jerry's and, you know, I'm just kidding. I'm just, you get the mini 100 gram tubs, but you know, it's not, but only one can lead at a time. So when I'm talking about emotion, it's not emotion versus logic. It's like, I can be emotional and say 1 plus 1 equals 2, right? So you can have both. It's not like you can only be emotional or you can only be logical. But there's obviously a sliding scale, but only one can lead, even if it's 51-49. Only one of those attributes or displays of, of being, thinking, and expressing can lead at a time. So the more that Corinne is wired towards, I've got to fill my car up with fuel. What's the fuel price? That's right. It's on the left-hand side. That's right. This car takes diesel. Hang on. This, uh, because we've got a, we've got a van. I'm a van man now, as you know. So this car also needs AdBlue. Oh, hang on. There's an AdBlue warning? When do we need to fill that? Like, all these things are shifting the ratio of her into more of a logical state of thinking and being, where women are naturally wired to be more of an emotional state. So it's a, it's a balancing act, man, because you're out there, you're working all day, you're busting your ass, sure. But, but so it's not just doing the dishes, and that stuff doesn't actually require thinking. But with certain things, whether it is dinner and structure and scheduled dinners and, um, sorry, what you're having for scheduling your dinner or your meals for the week and, and coordinating things, all of these logically based decisions that you can make for them allows them to step back into their feminine and also with using, you know, from a feminine state, emotion and logic together, it frees up their bandwidth. Now, yes, we can have 30,000 to 90,000 thoughts a day. It varies per human, but also it's the type, the depth, the quality of the thoughts, the frequency of them, you know, and, and that's something that can be very tiring for all of us, um, especially in such a fast-paced world. So, so yeah, that's, that's just on that first point. But then the second one, I guess, is like, okay, I'm calling the shots. No, we're doing this. Hey, we're gonna, we're gonna get a, um, Hungry Wolf's. Like, they do really good pizza, right? We're doing Hungry Wolf's Friday. It's going to be awesome. You know, that's our treat. But like, I guess what I wanted to know is, is there a point where you feel, either for the men in general or from me— happy to use me as an example, I can be the sacrificial lamb for you— but is there a point where it's like, he's— and I know this is probably a hard one to answer, but it's Like, oh no, he's making too many decisions, or he's deciding in areas I don't want him to, or that's just a form of control, or he's chosen dinner every night for 20 nights. So like, and I know this is hard because I'm, I'm sort of asking you a logical question, but, but it's like, is there a point, whether it's energetically or through how I conduct myself, where that leadership runs a risk of being commanding? Instead of leadership, it's, it's a commander, and I'm driving it too much or too hard or turning into being a perception of control too much. That's all. Just curious on that one because it is a delicate balancing act. Because for us as men, you know, we don't want to just mediate. We want to know what the steps are and, okay, cool, let me go fix it. And because we're so literal, it's like, all right, I'll do this, and bang. And it's hard to find that range. So, all right, I'm going to do all the school drop-offs now. now and to help their wives and all good intentions, gents, but that, that won't work either. So that's all. I was just curious on that.

I feel like this is going to possibly open a can of worms, but, um, I'm going to give a couple of examples and they don't relate to you because you've not actually done these, thank goodness, because, um, yeah, probably wouldn't be sitting here next to you if you did. Um, but basically, you know, I've heard, I've heard these stories from friends, from colleagues, from so many women, um, that have been in relationships where men do cross the line quite often. In terms of tipping into control. And it can be things like, um, telling them what they should and shouldn't wear. That's a, that's a big thing. If you told me, hey, I don't like seeing you wear your trackie dacks around the house while you're doing the housework, you need to dress a certain way. Well, too bad. I'm comfortable. I'm doing a chore. I'm doing a job. I'm going to do it exactly how I want to do it. Um, so things like that, obviously, and I'm sure a lot of men would realize that that's out of line. line, um, and definitely dipping into control. Um, other things such as, you know, depending on your financial situation and, and how you work in your household, like also that little bit of financial control that, you know, some men accidentally and may not realize that they're doing it. But as a woman that has worked and, and then has not worked, it, it's sometimes hard to not have your own income and your own money, even though it's, you know, the family's money and whatnot. So, you know, being told like you can only spend this much and, and things like that, that can cause a little bit of stress and, and it can feel like you're being controlled. Um, so finding a balance with that is a big thing for me. And, um, looking at it, okay, well, you're not actually bringing money into the household, but you're contributing in other ways. So you shouldn't feel Um, scared to say, I need to pay for this for the child, or I need to go and get new shoes because my shoes aren't broken, or, or things like that. Um, and, and just giving them the security to go, okay, you know, this is yours and you have access to it. Um, I'm not going to be controlling over things like that. Um, yeah, they're just a couple examples. You haven't done those to me, I don't think. No, I haven't. I would cope very well if you were. Um,

I've done my Christmas shopping and Crin's getting a full burqa. I just got a black bed sheet and cut a couple of holes out for the eyes. The, uh, sorry,

that is not that we are not disrespecting anyone that does wear one, by the way. That's an absolute choice.

Yeah,

but not, it's not for me. I, I would be a sweaty Betty in there.

Coming into summer, so probably white's a better color. But no, look, it's, um, Um, I worked very hard to set up your Dollarmite account, mind you. And I think we've, you know, probably have more in that account than I have in mine,

but they don't exist anymore.

Yes. No, no, good, good, good points. And, and I think, I think there's, there's a, it's a real skill, men, with, with the, the discernment in the setting, the relationship of knowing, You know, when to call the shots, be firm, alleviate stress, pressure, or tension, and then also when to, yeah, just let things play out. And it's not that you want your children to suffer, or I remember hearing this, might've even been from a comedian or something, they're actually giving life advice and they're saying, you know, you want your kids to bruise, but you don't want them to break their bones and like that sort of stuff. And there's probably more examples, but you know, you, you, you don't want people to fall over and fail that you love and care about. But also it's like, yeah, like I'm not here to control you. I'm not here to even control the kids. Obviously, as a caretaker for our children, you know, they're going to grow up. And, um, and look, I would say not so much out of fear of the world and social media today, um, you know, the way that men are portrayed, toxic masculinity, all that bullshit, but not so much because of that, but more so because of our audience. Our audience is genuine, is, is a group of genuine men that actually want to give. Like, we, we really, really want to, to, to provide. it, but, but that provision isn't just financial. And that's where it's tough in the modern world, especially when men are being compared to everything out there in social media. But my point is this, like for the guys listening, there's very few that would be giving those examples of control. It's actually more the opposite where a lot of you men are so willing and there's nothing wrong with that, but it's just shaping that so that again, you don't, you don't lose. It's not about me withholding pleasures and great things I can bring. It's just not about that. When I say I'd love to give you everything, but I can't, it's literally, it comes. At a cost. You know, like, we've got 4 children, we've got this business and organization. Like, there's this— we've got a pretty sizable crew now of our team and coaching team and staff and admin, and looking after all of their families, serving all of you men, uh, making sure that I'm 100 so I can give 100. And then Corinne as well. And then my mother and father who are getting older. And then, you know, my nieces, nephews, and my brothers And, you know, so it's like, even if you want to, you just, you can't. And that, that's, that's probably the biggest thing where I'd say for a lot of men, you just, you go too far the other way and just open slather, whatever, whenever, however, um, and don't need to know why. So there is a bit of a balance, but I guess I wanted to just ask you a question on that because this is a good exercise for you men, if not by yourself, um, absolutely with your wife. And it's, uh, this question here, like, what are you hoping— I just wrote this down actually while you're talking, because everything we're talking about is being viewed, observed, and modeled, if not now, when they're older. So, you know, Corinne, what are you hoping that the kids see and model from our relationship that they can then take into theirs as they get older? I think that's really important. Like, what, what would you say you're most proud proud of so far in, in our leadership example, in areas that we can also improve. I think that's important. Um, this is, this is real talk. Um, not that— I mean, it's been great, but it's not just a bloody fluff our love session or our relationship. But like, what are you proud of and what would you like us to get better at? And also, you know, what are you hoping for that our children are seeing, that our son will take with his future wife one day and our daughters will take and model with their husbands

Hmm. What do I hope they're learning, um, from us sharing the load?

Yeah, right now.

Right now. Well, so many things. I, I was only thinking about this the other day and I thought, wow, I really tried to envision what it would be like when our children have children. And my only wish would be that they would be amazing parents that I know that they could be. And obviously we're modeling that, you and I together, um, on how to do that. So the little eyes are consistently watching and that's super important. Um, I think it's really important for them to see that we do share things and sometimes those things, um, what might be seen as a mum job, it doesn't matter if you have to step in and take over from that. And it's not that it's been said that that's a mum job. It's just something that I happen to do. As a routine, as part of our routine, our nightly routine. But we've had a lot of times where, you know, we've been in hospital with Florence and I haven't been here and you've just had to pick up and, and, you know, without me being controlling and saying, you have to have this, this, this, and this done, you just know and it gets done. And I think it's really good for the kids to see that consistency of the load being shared. And, you know, there's times where you'll take them to one of their sports and especially the girls, you know, because they dance and it involves hair and makeup and all the other things, um, that go with that, that they'll say, well, I want mum to come. And they, you can see they get that panic because, well, mum's normally the one that comes. And it's important for them to experience, well, you know what, sometimes mum's not going to be there to take you and dad can do just as well, if not a better job. Um, so just having those examples for them, saying that we both show up, it's not just one or the other, and how lucky they are to have 2 parents that are both there and can support them at either time, um, is extremely important. I also think that, um, them seeing us both lead by example and fulfill goals as adults, um, that are forever changing. You know, we might show a new interest in something and, and how you and I support each other on that. Um, so like, for example, when I started writing my books, The greatest moment for me was, um, when that actual published book arrived to our house and we opened the box and I got to read it to the kids in bed. And, you know, that moment was everything for me. And the way you supported me in my book launch and, um, all of those things, it, it, it really showed them that just because mum's not at work right now and mum's doing these other things that It doesn't mean she can't do anything else and that you aren't too busy to support her because you did. Um, and everyone showed up for me and I felt that. And I think it's really important also the way they see each of us interact with their siblings and themselves and how much time we give to those kids. Um, we definitely do a lot of play. Uh, earlier you and I went to the dentist. The children were being the dentist and we both just had, we both just had a routine clean and check thanks to Roman. There were gloves. I think Alex suffered some drills about 16 times. I'm surprised I've got teeth left, to be honest.

I've got about 5 needles.

But these are the types of things, um, you know, we give them a lot of play. We do a lot with them. Sometimes we probably put too much into them and not feed back into ourselves. Um, so in terms of something we could improve on is is just being more consistent with our, our alone time and nurturing that. We got into a really good rhythm of doing that, and then we've had a baby, and that's complicated things a little bit in terms of us finding our own space and own time because we've just got that extra person. And when they're little, you know, they are very demanding. They literally need us to survive. So we've just kind of fallen back into to that, um, time for us comes last. Um, but we do need to hold and nurture that space a little bit more, I think. And I think it's important for the kids to experience and see that as well. Okay, mum and dad, they've zoned out. They're in the lounge room. They're having a meal together. Whatever it is, the kids don't have to necessarily not be here, but we need to have time where they're not talking over us and not interrupting us. Um, and I think all of those things will help them discover who they're going to be as a parent and how they're going to treat their future spouses and how they're going to make things work in their household.

Am I, am I allowed to speak on this podcast too? Is that okay? I'm just kidding.

It's my podcast now. He did. He, look, he's not going to give me everything. I'll try. I'm trying. I'm trying here.

I think Corinne, no, I'm just kidding. That was, that was awesome. No, I definitely want to speak less on this one. I really like when I bring, um, guests, obviously being the most important one, my wife, on that I, uh, I talk less. So no, that was really good. And, um, and we have spoken about that actually. What's the name you were coming up with? Um, getting, getting some of the wives on.

The Secret Life of the HPF Wives. Secret Lives of the HPF Wives, or Come and Have a Cuppa with Corinne.

So if your wife wants to come on the podcast with Corinne, where the ladies take over. Um,

when I say cuppa, it doesn't have to actually be a cuppa. It can have anything in that cuppa. I don't mind.

Yes. Alcohol or Baileys. I'm very nervous. I'm very nervous to handing that one over. I'm sure we'll see it though. It'd be really good. Really good. Um, what, what would be, I guess this has been really good for a start and, uh, and I didn't want to go too long because I know we can, we've got several episodes. We want to turn this into a bit of a mini series and, uh, you know, I'd say, um, what, what I, what I love most is is, it's just how, how raw and real, um, we are. And with this, like, look, we've— and I've already said that earlier, like, I'm not joking around, you know. Florence woke up and we've had to pause this, and then we're about to come back later and finish this at night. And so I hope the audio is balanced out all right and our voices don't sound too different, and so on and so forth. But it's, it's good, and it's not, you know, it's not macho bullshit or dressing up and, and, you know, couldn't Not, not that I'm against people dressing up or getting implants or stuff, but it's like, just, this isn't a show. It's, it's being raw, real. There's things that we want to get better at. There's things we do very well. There's things that are proven because of what we've done consistently over a long period of time, which might be hard for some people who haven't done that, but it, it's all life. It's all life and a part of life and living life and, and going and growing and exploring and discovering and not giving up on each other and And, you know, I'd say that that's, um, that's really important for me, that, that we've been through some pretty tough times over 20-something years, you know, or 2003, so coming into 24 years with some struggles and challenges, and yet here we are. And Florence, massive spanner in the works, as, as every additional child usually is, um, unless you go from 1 to 2 and the second one's an absolute dream. It's, it's always harder. But I really appreciate, you know, you, you coming on this. And for all of you men, you know, what you see is what you get. One of our tenets, being you and showing you, with myself, uh, with, with Corinne, with HPF. And I think it's what I really like most about us and together in our relationship and this mission. Like, I'm not here to try and be fucking fancy or prove anything to you guys or try and go above and beyond or put up a front or, you know, Um, get the fancy watches and all that sort of shit. And I get all that, and I've had all that. And but, but I really like, um, the, the depth that life can bring in just being your raw, authentic self, and then being open and willing from that place to acknowledge the good, acknowledge and understand maybe some of the shortfalls, and work on yourself. and work on being better together. Because what our relationship is, is a cloud in the air that we don't have to, but we choose to, um, pour into and align and invest in. And I talk about this like, it's like a baby, you know. Alignment and investment is important for all relationships. You know, a lot— if you're not aligned, you're feeding your baby poison. Um, you know, if you're not investing in it, you're starving your baby. So that's, that's really, really important. But, um, I hope you guys have got a lot of value out of this episode as well. And, uh, finally getting Mrs. Ranieri back. Like I said, the, the high demand, then we took 4 years, but that's how crazy life's been. But, uh, but now look, it's been awesome. I've really enjoyed it. Again, I don't— you know, we could, we could go on and go, go pretty hard for like a few more hours, but I do

love a chat.

Yes, but we want to break it into a bit of a mini series, so I thought we'd leave that, leave that there. But, um, but I guess on that, you know, and there's, and there are, there are areas that we, we want to keep improving and growing as parents. And, you know, I think having children really teaches you about the threshold and temperament you can build between reacting and responding. That's something I would like to get better at. And I think we need to keep working on and also trying to help each child feel special and seen without trying to just use a measuring stick. Yeah. Uh, like, look, I love things like special time, but, you know, do we have a, do we have a spreadsheet where we're going, yep, tick, we've done 10 minutes with each child and we did the same activity with each child at the exact same time of day for that? That's stupid though. So it's trying to—

And that's also control.

Exactly. Yeah. But it's trying, yeah, but it's trying to, um, you know, it's, it's trying to move through. What I've found is, is don't, like, you can, you can anticipate, sure, but don't, don't assume and just move. through life in, in a mechanical way. Like, you, you address the opportunities, the situations, um, you know, where, where they land and, and as they come. And that's, that's what I love about 3 daughters, and all 3 of them are different. And Roman's obviously different, you know. And Corinne and I go through different stages in, in our relationship as well as we continue to, to grow older. And, um, and life keeps changing too, like it will in a few years when we have 3 teenagers and And an 8-year-old. It's just gonna be— mate, that's good. We'll have a 17-year-old, a 15-year-old, a 13-year-old, um, or a 14-year-old, and, uh, an 8, nearly 9-year-old. Crazy. But, um, yeah, how have you found this session, Quinn? I guess just wrapping up, any final thoughts or things you want to share? Um, like I said, the next session or 2 I think will be around more the relationships front, what women want. You've given some great insights, but is there anything else that you want to share? Any, um, final thoughts? for the men or women, their wives listening to this, and anything else that you want to, um, you want to finish on?

Uh, I just wanted to say, if you do have any specific questions, feel free to send an email because I'd be happy to answer them. Um, but in terms of anything else I would like to say, uh, yeah, I just think keep working at it. You're all doing an amazing job. The fact that you're even here listening to this today shows that you are invested in your relationship. And, um, you know, the saying we always say, when things are tough, it too shall pass. And, you know, we've definitely had a lot of ups and downs this year. It's been a very challenging year. Well, I know I personally have, and, um, you've stood by me. Uh, it hasn't always been easy. I haven't always probably been the easiest wife to be around because I haven't, you know, had so much love for myself, um, with all the changes that have been going on, um, physically and mentally. And, you know, it is important to remember that these times don't last. Um, you know, you can walk away from it and that would be it, and it would just be completely a waste of time. Um, but sticking through it together and working through things together is so important. And, you know, the outcome is something beautiful and it's worth being together and worth fighting for always. So, um, yeah, I just think it's important to remember that.

Does that mean you're going to stop giving me cans of chump and looking at me like I'm a Labrador.

I actually think I was meant to say golden retriever because that's like a big golden retriever energy.

But

you, uh, also do have— Labradors are so cute, um, but also a little bit crazy. They're super crazy. And that was just what I was thinking of, like a golden lab just running around crazy having a swim in the pool.

Such a big cranium. Such a big cranium.

You also have quite a large cranium.

I sure wouldn't— yes, yes, it's not that bad. But I wouldn't mind finishing on that note. Like HPF, what's— what does HPF mean to you? You know, like You're not, you're not on the battlefield with us and you're not a man, you're not a father, and that doesn't make your life easier or harder, but it's, it is different, you know, like, and, and, um, yeah, from what you've seen and observed over, geez, nearly 8 and a half years now, um, yeah, what, what, what does HPF mean to you? And, and Crin does mean that, like, for you guys, because we do speak about it, you know, um, listening to this podcast and Um, you know, huge respect for you, for you men. I mean, there's so many men who don't invest in themselves. They don't pour into their own cup. They're not willing to change. They don't care if things burn to the ground. They suppress all the emotions and the guilt and shame and resentment, um, when they've destroyed the children's lives, even though they could have made changes and improved them. And that's, uh, that's pretty tough. It's a life I certainly would never want to live, but each, each their own. But, um, yeah, let's finish on that note. Yeah. You know, like, what is— what do you think about HPF? And what does HPF, you know, mean to you? These, these men who are looking to go out and become more and grow and step into leadership in unprecedented times. There's never been a world like this in history with this sort of technology and access and, and, um, and reach. And it's, uh, it's, it's a, it's a crazy, it's a crazy game, you know. And our parents and grandparents went through, um, tough times in their own right, But they're not going through the tough times we're going through. So it's, it's a constant innovative landscape we find ourselves in, but what's HPF mean to you? And, um, how do you feel about it?

It's a really, really good question. Um, look, HPF is such an important part of our life. Um, and I do hope that it's an important part of everyone, everyone's life, um, in some way. I, I think that it's extremely important to surround yourself with like-minded people, especially in the current environment. Um, HPF gives me hope as a mother of a son and 3 daughters that, you know, one day they might be able to have a stable family life and that they might be able to have, you know, a beautiful family life together and have goals and all the nice things that a parent wishes for their children. And I think it's so important for you guys as, you know, a legacy to them, um, with the future being so uncertain, that we continue to rise and stand up together and be like, this is, this is what families want. This is what men want. This is what women need. Um, because it's been lacking for a long time. I can go away for 2 weeks on a holiday and come back and have a friend say to me, my, my husband's packed up and left me with the kids. And, you know, I have no idea where Things went wrong, and it can just come out of the blue. And I've had that happen several times in the past few years, and it it takes the wind out of me because I've known these men, and I had no idea that they were capable of that. There was no warning signs; they just didn't talk about it. They didn't speak about it. They've just walked out on their family. Soul crushing. I found that the women. Women, once they've got over the initial hurt, have actually risen and become way better versions of themselves, um, which is a shame that it's happened after the fact rather than during the relationship. But obviously the support hasn't been there when the breakdowns happened. And I just think it's so important that we regularly check in on each other, on ourselves, on our partners, um, and I think HPF is an amazing platform for Uh, to say that I'm incredibly proud of you and what you have achieved over the last few years with this, um, is an understatement. I don't really get to speak about how I feel in regards to HPF, and it's really hard to even articulate that and put it into words. People often ask me, what does your husband do for work? And I find it really hard to express, um, what is actually happening here because it's so moving. It's such a Important part of life that needs to be addressed, and I'm so proud of you for what you have achieved and and what you continue to grow here. And yeah, I just think it's fantastic. Also, I would like to give a shout out to Jimmy Dinnen.

Jimmy Dinnen.

That's right.

So everyone knows Jimmy.

Cut that out.

Jimmy. Yeah, and I appreciate that, but you know, it's something that I've learned as time goes on, obviously being the founder, that, that, that's fine. And there's so much work and so much pain and suffering, and man, it's, it's a, it's a wild journey. And, um, and we all have our cross to bear, but, uh, you know, it's, uh, I appreciate that, but at the same time, I give, I give all the, you know, I give the, the thanks to the men and, and the team. And you know, and that's that's what I love most. Like it's um the more successful we become and the bigger we become and the more impact that we have, the more I the the more and the harder I try and redirect all the praise, all the thanks. Not not disputing your sincerity with that. I do appreciate it, Crim. But um it's it's awesome, man. It's so good to be part of something that is so much bigger than me. Like to be part of it. I really mean that. It's not like it doesn't. matter that I started it, but just to be part of it, it's, it's awesome. Like, it's, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it gets me up every single day and it's, it's worth it. It's, it's worth the, the struggles and the challenges and the, and, um, and, you know, like, like all things, all organizations, all parts of life, whether it's family, self, or service, um, you know, it's super rewarding. Um, and makes all the adversities in family, self, and service and with HPF and growing and building and developing and it's all worth it. It's all worth it. Um, appreciate you coming on. And guys, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. Looking forward to doing, um, you know, several more sessions with Krym where we can dive a little bit deeper into certain topics. But just wanted this to be a really good refresher and just, um, yeah, just chew the fat, just talk about a few things. Our relationship, um, you know, we expand a little bit more on like more right at the end there, HPF, but women, relationships, our children, um, the dynamic of, of taking lead, uh, you know, and a little bit around the chief stuff and And what's changed in 4 years? So much can change. That's the crazy part too. Like, we're nearly at the end of 2026, but it's like so much can happen in 4 years. But 4 years is so quick. Like this year, you know, we're, we're, what are we up to? Um, nearly 300 days in and, and we're coming to the end of 2026 and we're going to start 2027. Can you believe saying that? 2027. Yeah, I'm an '85 baby, but look, a lot of you guys would have been Probably that, um, in the '80s, maybe some in the '70s. And, you know, some like Mr. Sean Hutton, you know, he's a few centuries old, but I don't know the exact date or time because I don't know if they had— I know they had the sundial, but I don't know if they had a calendar. Actually, the Mayans. Sean, are you— I might, I'll give Sean a quick call and I'll see if he's, um, Sean, if you're listening to this, mate, just flick me an email, alex@highperformancefather.com, and let me know. If, um, yeah, if you're around back then, but, but now let's, let's wrap it up. Uh, thanks. Thanks for joining me, Corinne. I hope you guys got huge value out of it and, um, really looking forward to the, to the next one. Thanks, guys.

Thank you.

Awesome. That was really good. That's really good. Hey, can you, can you put that knife down, please? You've been waving it around all podcast. I'm starting to get a little bit nervous. Just put the knife down. Well, that wraps up another episode. And just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through Some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you, and then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart, and there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes 4 or 5 times. And then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. And also, if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You've listened to it. Write down your revelations. Think about them. Read them. Speak them. Believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life, and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love. and care about is the greatest way that you can remember and make sure you consistently learn and relearn what is— it's true and what is— that is important to you in your heart. Take care, have an amazing day, night, weekday, weekend, and I'll see you for another one soon. Cheers.