297. Al's Insights #18

Hey, if you're someone who really connects to this message and you know there's someone out there who needs to hear this, but they're too proud, the walls are up, you can't show them, no worries. Flick them the link, share this podcast, send them the link. They can listen to it in the car, in the comfort of their own home, behind closed doors, in private privacy. Listen, absorb, and you know you are creating impact to change. There are so many people in pain who need to hear this message, who need to empower themselves, take their control and power back and get back in front. Appreciate you all. Much respect. Enjoy the episode. And again, share the love, spread the love, and let's create impact and change across the world. Cheers. Welcome to another episode of Al's Insights. Uh, today we're diving into 3 one-liners, uh, one of which was planned for the previous episode, but we, uh, I don't want to make these go too long and, uh, try and keep this one even, even shorter below that half an hour mark. But, uh, I will say this, really appreciate I've gotten some great feedback on the 7 pillars. And look, it's, it's really incredible how clear and easy things are to see. Should we provide The space, time, and platform, I guess, you know, like hearing this podcast or imagine having a resource and a downloadable, and that's something I'll create for the community. But it blows me away how easy it is to forget, myself included, lads, how easy it is to forget some of the fundamental things that can just bring, and not even just bring happiness or joy or peace or serenity or calm or liberation or a lightness to our lives. Or all of them, but more so just a sense of self and knowing exactly where you are and where you stand in this world. And that's not bound by external circumstances or what other people say about you. So with it high flying or down in the dumps, it is taking that moment, and nature's a beautiful thing for that, but it's taking that moment to just be here. And, you know, I could do this in the office, but like I said, nature's awesome. There's on the beach, in the bush, in the forest, going for a walk, just sitting in the backyard. Um, Just sitting down on the grass. I do that every now and then in the backyard. Have a quick break, get the sun on me. Awesome. And just taking that moment to understand that you are a free living being on this earth, roaming this earth with the gift of free will, and deep inside you, which we all have as humans, a morality coupled with a desire for purpose in life. And what I mean by morality is like, you know, punching someone in the face without any cause, um, you'll justify it, but it's not a nice thing, just like murder and all the other bad things that happen, right? And that's it. It's not, it's not white lines on the road, you know, it's not the alcohol and how that changes who you are. And it's, it's not even other people. It's just knowing, hey, I'm a free living Like, I'm, yeah, I've got clothes on, but I'm, I'm here. I'm a naked man. I'm here as a free-living creature and being on this earth with a compass of morality and a desire for purpose that can drive me towards whatever it is that, that, um, that I wish to pursue. And that's not always whatever it is your heart desires. Your heart can play tricks on you. Your heart can do wrong by you. It's about separation from that. And then maybe that's the mind and that's not the brain or thinking. And maybe the mind is, is a misrepresentative word as opposed to the conscious being that can just still the world and go, this is actually right here and now. This is the present moment. I'm sitting in the backyard on the grass. No matter what's happening to me, around me, has happened, might happen in the future, here I am. And I'm, I'm here. I am a human being. And that's what I love about something like gratitude, right? You look at comparison, you know, that was the, um, the 6th pillar and It's, it's so crazy. It's so crazy. Like, look at your life and instead of comparing others, look and go, man, I'm so grateful. Like, I'm so grateful for the hardships I went through. I'm, I'm, as painful as it was, uh, and I don't wish it on anyone, but I am extremely grateful for the opportunity to do something about when I lost my voice for a few years. Ended up being like, it'll be 4 years at the end of this month. Can you believe that? September 2022, when we came back from a holiday in Darwin. That, that's crazy. That is insane, man. Like, imagine that. And it's, it's, this year's been a good year, you know, touch wood. Um, all is going well with the throat, with my training, health and wellbeing. Um, I still need a puffer every now and then, but pretty solid, right? But 4 years, man. But for a good 2 and a half, every day waking up, only a certain amount of words before I'd feel this, this sensation, this burning. No amount of things. I remember getting like, like gel, like these different, like throat lubricant gels and stuff you can have. And, and like, you know, tried every medical thing you could look at and had all the scans. And crazy, man. Crazy, crazy. You know, you can't sing or read bedtime stories to your kids. You've got limited words with your wife. You're diving in and out of meetings. And as soon as you, as soon as you press the stop, stop button and you leave that meeting, you're there sort of holding your throat and you're like drinking water and you're like, you're just trying to get a breath of fresh air. It's like, you know, it's But now you gotta front up, you gotta serve, you gotta help. Crazy, crazy, man. But the gratitude, gratitude for the hard times. And that's where, you know, like, I don't— I know I've said I don't regret the pain I've caused my wife. Of course I feel bad about it and it's shameful and disgusting, but, but also it's hard. It's hard to carry regret, men. This will lead beautifully into the first one-liner as well. It's hard to carry regret if you have improved. your position in life from that period of time where there was the downfall. Now, what does position mean? Yeah, it could be the conditions are better, could be your actions are better, could be how you see yourself and your belief systems, your, your emotional, mental, spiritual wellbeing, probably all of them, you know. And, and that's what I would say. Like, if I have, have led my family to better, and my relationship with my wife, that being the example of the catalyst of that breaking down, being what birthed HPF back in 2018. breakdown was 2017. Like, that led to me leading our relationship, my family, having more children, our financial position, um, our health and wellbeing, our location, where we live, what we do, my belief systems, my mental attitude and approach, my emotional state, my resilience, my— all these things, they've all stacked up. That, that, that's where it's led to over the last 9 years. Hard to have regret. Because I guess if you're looking at that, um, in a sense, and, you know, we say, ah, maybe regret doesn't exist because you chose that and blah, blah, blah. Let's not go down that road. But I, but I get it. I get that. And I've spoken about before in previous episodes, but if I look at that and I'm, I'm, I'm like, it's almost like a trade-off. How you can have 2 things. Like, think of it this way. This is a good little mindset piece actually before we dive into this. Because these, these 3 are really powerful. Um, It's about the wall in front of you, the fire inside, and you creating value to be irreplaceable. There are 3 one-liners. But think of it this way as an exercise, because a lot of you men are carrying. You're absolutely— like, it's not easy. I get it. You know, like, I'm not invincible. Uh, I'm very strong, and— but also it's taken many years and time through multiple heartaches and heartbreaks across family, self, and service. Yeah. You know, even that, that, that little fat boy inside at such a young age was decades, man. Decades of trying to validate myself, and but also using the wrong fuel, man, and the wrong, the wrong external levers, right? Which is why it took so long. So hopefully these podcasts can help accelerate that for you. But those of you listening to this, which is probably all of you, carrying some form of baggage— guilt, shame, blame— inward, outward, you know, to yourself, to others, doesn't matter. If you carry it towards others, you're carrying yourself. If you don't forgive people, you're not really— you're not forgiving yourself. You're not moving past that. You're holding on. There's an attachment. There is a lack thereof. There void. And I didn't learn that until later in life. Being 41, I say later in life is like my mid to late 30s, to be fair. And I heard it in my 20s, hey, forgive others so you can forgive yourself, right? Wash your hands of it. So we all heard that when we were younger, but it took me a while too. I'm a slow learner. When we look at this, it's letting go of that baggage because if you carry some of that baggage, like a lack of forgiveness for yourself or others, What you're really doing is you're holding on to, to the seeds, like, like a lack of forgive— forgiveness. And, and these seeds, like the seeds of regret that you continually keep planted and, and fertilize and water and bring sunlight on, will grow and bring forth poisonous fruit. And whether your life is on the surface successful or not, inside, mate, you'll just be eaten alive. You will not survive, man, whether it's your 40s, your 50s, the epiphany comes, your 60s, it doesn't matter. You know, be careful the seeds that you water. So this is an exercise for you guys is to look at it and go, I can't have both. I can have one of two things. I can hold onto my regret or I can hold onto growth. Now, I didn't plan this at all, by the way, but hopefully it all makes sense. You can see what I'm saying. If you grow and become more and better than your circumstances or your situation, yeah, sure. It'd be awesome to have the wife and the kids back together. Yeah, sure. It'd be unreal to, to, to reverse the time and the aging on the clock of your life. If you've put you through the wringer with drugs and alcohol and being heavily overweight or unhealthy or disease and not looking after yourself. And of course, however, if you have done something from that point, from that moment, from that callus, and you have improved your position. Is it really fair? Are you really doing yourself justice by both acknowledging your growth but also still carrying regret? So do this as an exercise, man. You can't have both. Choose one or the other. I'm either going to have regret or I'm going to do something about my situation and grow and become more, which means I can't have regret over the exact same thing that has put me in a different position to create my version 2.0 and a completely different human and set of skills in life and a lifestyle that's moving me forward. Regardless of the people that carries you forward with or not, that's the reality you need to accept because you don't control those people that are or are not in your life anymore. But what you can control and shape is your perspective going, I can't have, like, I can't double dip, man. I can't have regret on the same thing that has been the catalyst and the source for the exponential growth that I've experienced over the last 6, 12, 18, 24 months. That's not fair. Like, to put it politely, that's bullshit. Don't do that. Don't do that to yourself. That's contradicting. It's almost hypocritical. It's like you're attached and tying something towards, um, you're tying and attaching a negative connection towards the exact thing that has sparked this change in you, this growth in you. Maybe it's not hypocritical, but it's absolutely contradictive. Like, so Be careful of that. That's a good exercise to have. Now, of course, there are levels like all things, you know. Can you look back and go, yeah, I don't have any regret anymore because I'm, I'm super resilient now? Yep, that, that, that's cool. I appreciate that. But like, you're not a battler here to battle through throughout life. It's a beautiful little audiobook, goes for like 18 minutes, I think. Yeah, The Coffee Bean, you know. And, um, you put the carrot in hot water Goes soft. When you put an egg in hot water or boiling water, goes hard, you know. So it's not about just going hard either. Um, and what that is, is the boiling water is the, the, the external environment, the world, the conditions of life, right? Life is tough. A lot of people, they go soft like the carrot. They just become a pushover, become soft, limp, weak. And then a lot of other people become hard like the egg, the hard-boiled egg. Cold, numb, front. You know, rejecting life, dismissive of life. The final one is become the coffee bean. You put coffee bean in water and you actually change the water. So the coffee bean doesn't break down or die. The coffee bean changes the conditions. It changes the environment. The water goes dark and eventually over a period of time, the water becomes coffee. And that's what I love about HPF and the tribe. You put enough coffee beans in the pot. Oof, what a strong brew that we have, right? So yeah, it's all well and good to say, well, you know, Hard for me to regret that. Like, it's made me resilient. That's all it's given me. Well, that's my point. Like, there's levels to this. So what are you doing with that resilience? Are you carrying that forth to create new challenges and change in you? Learning, skill development, removing the ego, becoming better as a father, better as a husband, better as a man in society, better as a son to your parents, better, better as a brother to you, to your siblings. And that's, I guess, for me, man, just on that note, like Make it absolute and objectively true that you have no reason to have any regrets in your life. And that's the key, which is equaled or measured through a love and obsession for growth and life. And when you do that, you don't allow your own stories and bullshit to get in the way. You're like, yeah, maybe, yeah, maybe it's really bad what I did to Crim back in 2017, but look at me now. As opposed to, yeah, maybe it is bad what I did to Crim in 2017, but you know what, we patched things up. Our marriage is pretty ordinary anyway. You know, we had more kids and we're just going through the motions. That would be horrible. All right. Could you imagine the stories? Left to your own devices, creeping in. Like, imagine the little demon getting in your ear. Oh mate, of course you still have regret. Look at your life. It's shit. It hasn't gotten any better. It's horrible. You're still living in the past. It's just one day before what happened with you and your wife was the best time of your life. You got nothing. Look at you now. That's exactly what'll happen. Whereas I look at 2017 and has it been easy? Absolutely not. But geez, I'll tell you what, it's easier than what it would have been if I did nothing, which is what I just mentioned as a brief example. Then that's just someone just chewing in your ear, right? 9 years of incredible growth, so much pain, so much suffering, so, so many tears, man. Like it's, it's been really hard. You know, if you're a manly man, you've never shed a tear in your life, good for you, mate. Like, you know, and I'm not a blubbery mess either, but probably somewhere in the middle. And, but, you know, I would say. Probably a handful of times a year, and you know, for a period of time there, like 2020. Actually, well, it started actually by being a bit cold and numb, but then throughout sort of 2018, 2019, and starting HPF in 2018, and building and finding more purpose in it. But it's still tough, man. It was tough, you know. Like, and it's of course I've had tears of joy, but I've also had like I've shared moments like, man, I don't know what to do. I'm lost. How am I going to do this? And then Roman was a surprise. I'm like, man, I'm struggling with two kids, and now I'm about to have a third, and now it's COVID, and what's going on? The world's getting end. It's 2020. And so, you know, like, I'm not against emotions. I mean, the men have seen me at events, I've shed a little tear on, on some emotional parts. I'm also talking about legacy and the children. But man, it's just like, it's, it's been worth it. It's been worth the bleed, the stretch, the push, the tears. Because I look back now in 2026, I'm almost excited at 41 years of age going, geez, what about the next 9 years? When I'm 50, like, if I keep going at this rate, it's not even a, it's not even a business or a financial thing or a, or a 6-pack thing, or it's, it's actually the unknown, gentlemen. And, and the unknown, as funny as that sounds, is, is, is not the key that, that, that leads to me being content in my life, but still ambitious and removing any sense of regret or remorse for past things. It's actually The journey, because of the unknown. How can I grow? Where can I grow? What does that look like? And of course, if I dial it into, you know, 18 months, 12 months, 6 months, this quarter, you know, I've got measures in place, I've got tangible outcomes I want to achieve— family, self, and service. But the bigger picture, it's like, man, you know, who out of anyone would know? Like, fast forward 3,000 days, um, you know, 9 years or thereabouts. Yeah, how would anyone, um, have complete Clarity and certainty, especially the speed of the world. So that's just—I just wanted to paint that picture there. It's a—you guys know me—I'm good for intros, but it's not—it's not even about being a smartass with saying this is an intro. It's just planting that seed before we rip into these quick one-liners because they are short and sharp on understanding that the value and the gift is always in—in the growth, and—and it's—it's—it's not grow—it's not have you grown. It's—it's Because that's a good thing, but that's reflecting. It's growing. Keep going and growing. Keep going and growing. And if you continue to do that, and you can grow in many ways, especially wrong ways, right? But if you continue to do that with, with, with a set of tenets, which is, you know, your values, your true north, and what you're, what you're pursuing in your life, and there's purpose and it's genuine across family, self, and service, I promise you, man, you're not going to miss. And you will not hold any place in your heart to, to have any regret. I promise you that, mate, you know. But until you reach that point and that tipping point where, like I said, over 8 years I've stacked— 9 years I've stacked unbelievable growth, man, like crazy. But when you have that track record, it's like being in a court of law. You have undeniable proof. It's like, yeah, cool, let's entertain. And, and, and the, um, I don't know what you'd call it, but the, the person accusing you is your stories. So you're sitting there as the defendant and your stories are there as the, the The accuser, and, um, and your stories are saying all these things. You're like, well, yeah, look, your stories might be true, but here, here's the track record. Here's the truth. Here are all the facts. And then you start to just highlight all of those runs on the board that you've gotten over the years. And it's like, you know what, I don't know how it works, but the hammer, bang, bang, bang. All right, cool. Well, um, this just shows that there, um, there is no regret in this man's life. Brilliant. For what it's worth, you know, not a bad slab to lay down, um, for you men to, to shed some of the baggage and understand that, that you can't have both. You know, I either choose to hold on to my grit or I do something about it, which means it frees me to release it. The end. First one, line on the wall in front of you is smoke and mirrors. You just haven't pushed through it yet. Isn't it so fitting to what I was talking about? Um, you know, like, I've seen so many men get so close And albeit you've had success in some way, shape, or form, and you've had success in HPF, and that doesn't mean you should be a member in HPF forever. You're free to do what you want. But what I've seen over years in the men who spend multiple seasons with HPF is some men get so close to that next breakthrough, but it becomes this big brick wall to them. And they shut down, they pull away, they drift, they fall down, they fall apart. And it's like, man, it's just, it's all smoke and mirrors. Like it is your fear that makes the obstacle look solid. Yeah. He just got to push through. And there's things in other books, you know, like the man who— this is a real story— who gave up. He was 3 feet from gold, and the gold was worth, I think, I don't know, maybe a million or a few million bucks. This is back, you know, I think 100 or 200 years ago, a while ago. I think it's in the Think and Grow Rich book. It's a story about that, and a man gave up, but he ended up being successful anyway because of his mindset. However, um, yeah, he just gave up. He stopped, he stopped digging. He was, you know, He's using the wrong tools, couldn't identify where the gold was, and didn't have the resilience to push through. Just a few things there on working harder, working smarter, and resourcefulness, and people, and environment. That's where a lot of you guys are, man. Like, it's just smoke and mirrors. I, I promise you, like, whether it's another person, whether it's a, it's, it's a, it's, it's a, um, like, like other people in your life that, that are resistant to you— family, friends become estranged to you, strangers, competition, whatever it might be in your business, yourself, your mindset, health and fitness— you're like, I'm going to lose is this 10 kilos? Like, you don't realize how close you are. You're only 1 kilo away from fucking nailing it. Why? Because what you do over that 1 kilo is something that more often than not, pending your body composition, has just then become a repeatable pattern and a track record. This is— I've done the 1. If I keep doing the same, the 1 will become 10. Like, that's, that, that's the thing. That's what people don't realize. They look at these big goals like HPF being global like it's some massive thing. No, it's not. We just need to help another man in Australia today and help another one tomorrow and help another one tomorrow. That's all we need to do. The world will look after itself. The world, like the world will find us, you know, like it did, mate. New Zealand, the US market, absolutely. UK, you betcha. You're like, man, it's only a matter of time. But also if I were to stop now and look at it, and that's an opportunity. You can have the same approach with opportunities and with problems, right? Walls, opportunities are walls as well. Opportunities aren't open doors that just you run through, right? And typically more often than not before you have those big quote unquote breakthroughs is when you have the most resistance. The big giants standing in front of you—it's all smoke and mirrors, man. Whether it was like when I got bullied at school, and then I—you know—I'm not proud of that, but I had—I think four—end up having four punch-ons, you know, and just just I was just sick of it. So, and guess what? I became mates with all of them. That was the funniest part. It's like it was it was wasn't—it was a misunderstanding. It was just an alignment of of of you know the it's like it's like being in the jungle, mate, at high schools. I tell you, but I don't know what it's like now. But back then, where I was, like was the jungle, man. Like it's it's It's kill or be killed, that sort of stuff. And then, then there was realignment. When I look at that, like it was such a big thing, it was causing anxiety and stress and worry. So I would comfort eat and this, this crushed me for years until I just pushed through and guess what that became? Boom. The catalyst to then start developing myself and building my health and fitness and wellbeing and confidence. And, you know, all off the back of just standing up for myself. And then I look back, I'm like, for so many years, there was such a big wall in front of me that I just didn't believe I could push through. It was smoke and mirrors. Same with running a gym, same with HPF. This is so hard, it's impossible, we're going to die. And we nearly died so many times earlier in the piece, um, of starting this. And so hard, and, you know, and you've got people who just don't believe in you, and you've got friends and family just think it's a hobby. And it still makes me laugh if they think that. But like, it, you know, it, it was all these big walls. And now it's like, once you develop this, man, you just develop a different set of eyes. That doesn't mean that I don't have walls in my life anymore. But now I realize them for what they are. I'm like, man, I don't care if you're 300 foot tall, I will break you down brick by brick and I'll keep moving forward. You will not stand in my way. The key here, the key takeaway, like, you know, the whole, the obstacle is the way, the obstacle is you, the wall is you. Yeah, it is. It's you. It's you in your head. It's just smoke and mirrors, man. You just haven't pushed through, but you're creating these expectations and timelines that don't make sense and assumptions that if not this, then that. Yeah. And who are you to define that? You have, you have no idea. I remember hearing this saying, if you, if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. But I'll tell you, my plans have changed a lot over my life. So much, it's crazy. But, but it's so true in the sense of we have these expectations and even I'm not an idiot when it comes to business now. And I don't think it's a straight line, but you want the line to be as straight as possible. That's human nature. There's nothing wrong with that. Health, fitness, relationships, experiences. You want it, you want, you want it. Convenient straight line. That makes sense. It's efficiency. It's how the brain works. And you know, there's going to be a scribble in there somewhere. It's up, down, left, right, blah. But even then, you'll be 80 years of age and you'll understand the scribble of life across family, self, and service and how, how much the path and the road changes. Even then, you will still naturally desire a straighter path as possible, which makes sense. Like, what would you desire or welcome chaos and turbulence in your life knowingly, right? Of course you move through like a gym, you do drop sets, you do forced reps and you fail. And I get that, but, but no one welcomes chaos into their life more often than not, unless you're married to Italian women. But I'm just kidding, coming from an Italian household, they are fiery. But I'm sure there's, there's fiery Brazilians and fiery everything everywhere, but in, in today's world. But just understand that, man, like it's It's just smoke and mirrors. You just haven't pushed through yet. If you can remove the assumptions and expectations, you will find a path forward, and the time will be right when the time is right. The reason why you fail is like, I should have had this amount of success, I should have had this developmental progress, I should have had this set of runs on the board or results, and I should have had it by now, or by this time, or by that time. But you know, that's not how life works. Like, imagine if you had a, a massive goal and dream and, and You planned to achieve it in 3,000 days and you achieve it, but you look at the forecast, it's day 2,999, and it looks like you're just going to be 2 days late. I know this is silly, but this is, this is just painting the truth and the absolute of assumptions and expectations that don't fit. Damn, I'm going to be 1 day late of this 3,000-day plan. Nah, that's it, mate. Shut it down. I give up. No, of course not. Why? Because within the parameters of the attainment of this being 1 day extra, you accept it. So, so what are you doing by creating unreasonable expectations in your head, whether it's an extra day or an extra year, or, or, or you achieve the result but the result is 83% instead of 100%? Like, who are you to bow out on yourself and put this wall, something outside of you, to become this bigger movable object? When you make something greater than you, by default become less than. And then laying on your deathbed, does it actually matter? To the people who curse you, hate you, criticize, does it even matter? Does it even matter? And I'm not saying, does HPF even matter? Like, of course we want to have impact. We want to create change. We want to know that we matter, but matter now. Matter in the moments that make your life. And then when your life is done, you'll know that it mattered. That's a pretty good one-liner, actually. I'm going to try and remember that. Matter in the moments that make your life. And then you'll know with 100% certainty that your life actually mattered. That's the first one, man. The second one is, is, you know, every man has a fire inside him. Some just need the kindling. And that's what I love about the tribe, you know, like it's, it's, it, you know what I find? It's, it's really hard, you know, for me, um, in one aspect with HPF, right? Like, man, I love this mission so much. Like, and, and it, you know, I, I love it not because it's a business and not because I'm the founder. I just love what it means, what it represents. Like, the men— like, you are HPF. Not, not Al, not the content, not even the philosophy. Like, values, the tenets— the tenets are nothing unless there's proof of life. Going all in, staying all in, being a man of your word, taking ownership, performing with excellence, seeking growth, love, and joy, being ambitious, overcommunicating, having your servant persona, being a student for life, embracing it all, denying normal, bleeding for your brothers, being you and showing you, honor the vehicle, honor the traveler, chasing the North Star, which is the 5 aspirational tenets. Which is be a many word, take ownership, perform with excellence, seek growth, love, and joy, go all in and stay all in. Like that's, I think that's 15. I know I'm all off by heart. Tell me if I'm wrong, but like, man, they are nothing. They mean nothing without the vehicle of life. That's you. That is how powerful you are. Yet you've allowed your fire to be dimmed, to be put out, to just be smoldering and nothing more. Why? Anything and everything that's amazing, phenomenal, life and breathtaking and all that sort of stuff that is outside of you, that is not you embodying it, doesn't doesn't add up. It doesn't stack up against you. It needs you. The tenets need you as a powerful man to live and embody them and be an example. That, that— so it's really hard for me because no matter what, we've got a summit coming up, and for the first time we're actually rolling it out. That was something I was going to announce on the 7 Pillars, but I forgot. But we're actually, um, going to be having, uh, non-members invited. Uh, you might be getting Emails if you if you subscribe to our email list. But um, yeah, for the first time ever, actually allowing a small handful. I think it's eight twelve might be eight eight non-members to be part of this summit, which is going to be phenomenal. It's going to be awesome. Um, I can't wait. It's going to be so huge and such a special time. And it's not because of the locations, not because of the content and all the experts that we have. It's because of the brotherhood, the men together having the depth and the belonging. Like there is nothing that can trump that, man. And you've got so much trust and value in that room, in this experience. Of men just walking the same path in their own right, all aligned on the same thing. You won't see that anywhere, mate. Like, show me where that exists. What, elite sports? Barely, especially with coin involved these days, you know. So, so that, that's the hard part with this. Like, I talk about how much I love HPF, but the hard part is it's always going to come across, yeah, you need to, or you have to, or you're just selling me on HPF because you're the founder. And I truly mean it, man. Like, it's, it's, it's It's so awesome to have, you know, an abundance of kindling around you that can just light your fire when a bit of rain's dampened it. It really is. And it's so easy for me to say that, even though it's hard sometimes for that to be received by, by anyone— members, non-members, family and friends— because it's like, oh, of course you got to push it out. Like, of course you believe in it because you started it. Of course, because you've been here for 9 years. Like, no, you don't get it, mate. It's like a kid for the first time Going to the candy store. It's like, it's, it's the greatest thing because the value— a lot different to a candy store, but the value that I get personally from it, being part of this tribe, you know, even not speaking to the men but seeing a post of their victory on what they've done. It's like, oh, look what this guy's done, man. That's so awesome. And that lights me up. So just know that, like, including you, every single man has a fire inside him, but some just need the kindling. And a lot of men are dead, just not buried, right? And I know I've mentioned that before, but it's, it's, it's having the humility and having the faith and trust in the people around you and finding the people, of course, but having the faith and trust in the people around you to be able and willing to take the leap to go all in because you've got that kindling there that can light that fire for you again. And you never let it go out. You never let it fully go out. And there are men who have at times, cool, here's the flint and steel and we've sparked it up again for you. And that's obviously a countless number as well. I get that. But don't ever let the fire go out and stay out, man. And know that sometimes all you need is just a bit of kindling. And, and the kindling isn't, isn't just a walk and talk, although that's not a bad thing. It's something that has depth to it. Like, you know, it's, it's, I would say the kindling is something that will be representative of an actionable change that shifts your conditions. You know, and maybe a walk and talk's just blowing a bit of, blowing a bit of oxygen on the, on the smoke. Hard to do anything if there's nothing that can light it up again. You know, and again, I'm not, I say that respectfully. Like, I'm not saying walk and talks are bad. I'm not saying are you okay days are bad or talking about feelings, but it's like, What do you actually want? Let's come back to it. Like, what do you actually want? Like, do you want to just have a chat and feel good for half an hour and then do fuck all? Or do you actually want change? So, um, just, just know that, man. Like, the quality of the kindling matters, but sometimes that's all you need because it is you. It's, it's your life. It's your responsibility. It's on you, you know. And, and it doesn't mean if it is to be, it's up to me and I go it alone. But it means that you are responsible for your actions and you are here to be a great leader. And what a great leader does is he leverages valuable assets around him, around him to create the greatest possible change for himself and others. And you've got very poor leverage every single time when you're isolated. Every single time. If you're isolated, you have poor leverage. If your fire is dwindling, you are really in some need of some kindling and that will help you. Because every man should have his fire lit brightly and burning. Your family need that. You need that. Final one. We've gone over half an hour again. We'll wrap this up. Our insights have gone from 20 minutes to 40 minutes. If you haven't created enough value in yourself, and this is, this, this is a bit of a tougher one. I appreciate it's holding the mirror up, but if you haven't created enough value in yourself to be irreplaceable, That's on you. If there's a breakdown in the marriage, if you've created so much value in yourself as a leader, your input to who your wife can be or your children can be in their identity becomes more valuable. You're leading by example, whether I've mentioned in the other episode of health and fitness or routines or family time or filling the children's buckets of parent attention, having special time with them. Does your wife know about that? Does she do that? Is she doing personal development at the moment as well? Is she learning these things? she embracing different environments or is she in echo chambers of gossip and whinging and bullshit? And, you know, men and women do that. Um, women communicate more frequently than men, but men do that, whether it's at the pub or work sites or friendship circles that are toxic. Um, you, your, your value, you know, and, and your, your value a lot of the time, it's not about having a 6-pack and lots of coin. It's your value is Who do you choose to be internally and driving forth with that to create change as a leader, going first. And through going first with courage and commitment and competence, you develop the confidence. And then through that, you start to discover more in life. The more you know, the more you don't know. That's so true because then it's like, ah, this is working for me. Oh, the children picking up that. Oh, the wife's picking up that. Cool. What do they actually value? And then next thing you know, you're diving into what their value sets are, what they need, what they crave, where you can create boundaries, where you can ensure that you are a source of value. So if you haven't created enough value in yourself to be irreplaceable, that's on you. You either haven't been developing yourself, you don't have the right leadership archetypes when it comes to being the Viking, the Panda, and the Chief, and/or a collective of those 2, plus you haven't developed, and there's a skill gap, you haven't developed the awareness through developing yourself and having the right expression of leadership to give your family exactly what they need, not what they want, but what they need, and seek to understand them and then provide that. Sometimes my children need a little bit of Viking from Dad. Sometimes they need a little bit of Panda Same with my wife, even though they might speak differently. And I want to give them that. Yeah, sometimes my wife wants me to be, to be softer, but she needs me to be clear and firm. Not a Viking, but more of a chief sometimes. You know, she, she's in, in a, in a very logically driven, tangible, structural mode, whether it's the kids or organizing things. And, and what I need to do is I need to Um, not polarize masculine, feminine, but bring the panda, bring the emotional opportunity into the room, and then allow her to walk into that. You can be stronger. So I can be a stronger panda than what she might be, because in a nutshell, it's, it's very similar actually. Like, you know, women can be the, the tigress instead of the Viking, whatever you call— like, they can be savage, they can be soft, right? And they can be somewhere in the middle. So When we look at creating enough value in yourself, it's value in yourself, not, hey, I'm a high-value man, and all these things you hear people say where it's subjective. It's like, no, no, I am valuable because of how I carry myself, my track record, my mental attitude and approach towards my family, my children, understanding their wants and their needs, making decisions accordingly, providing the vision and the future, experiencing that together with presence, and then continually building in my life so they can build in their lives. Because guess what? You've got family, self, and service, but so do your kids. You know what your children have? They got 3 little circles in their life. They got a little family, little self, little service. Remember, service is both paid and unpaid. It's unpaid— is not just doing charities, it's your value and contribution to society, whether it's schools, sports teams, extended family, and friends. Your children have a little circle of service too. So just know that, man, as we wrap this up, when you're investing in your family, self, and service, what are you doing that can then carry over and pour into your wife's family, self, and service, your children's family, self, and service, your workers and colleagues, family, self, and service. If you line up and do those things, I doubt you'll be replaceable. And it's not because your wife will be like, hey, you're 6'2 and, and, you know, you, you've got a 4-pack and, and I know we've been together for 30 years and we've got kids and everything and it's been amazing, but, um, but also, um, this guy's 6'3 and he's got a, he's got a 6-pack, so I'm fucking out. You know, like, it's not like men and women aren't that shallow, right? It's, it's, it's, and it's not that they desire that in men. I'm just, just giving you a very clear, um, example. You are so invested in life. That's, that's why, you know, like it's, it's hard when marriages break down and then of course it's hard when they get back together and it's hard when they never get back together and it's hard for everyone. But, but what I'm saying is like over time you become so much more invested together, you know, that as you become older, all that is left is You, your mind, and your heart and soul. How you carry yourself internally every single day, and those that are closest to you, which at that time's typically only your wife because your children have left and moved out. So if you haven't created enough value in yourself to be replaceable, that's on you. It's not hey Al, I need to be you. You don't need to be me, man. You don't need to be anyone other than you know, and you don't need for anything. What would serve you well in what you pursue and desire in this life is to look at yourself and pursue becoming the greatest you that you can and not do that on some sort of slogan or billboard as a fucking motivational piece. Be the best you that you can be. It's like, no, no. Strongly assess yourself in family, self, and service, the discrepancies, the strong points, triple down on strong points, fill the discrepancies, have the right environment and people around you. And through that, you'll be learning, you'll be doing and becoming more, and you'll also have the right people around you. For us, it's simple. Learn, do, tribe. And what am I learning this week? What am I doing this week? And who am I doing it with? You rinse and repeat that 365 times of the year, knowing full well you'll possibly fail. Even at 30%, you'll be twice as successful as you're not. That's an amazing year. So if we broke that down from percentages, 10%, 365, 36, times that by 3 to give you 70%, like that's over 100 days, man. Like that is 109 and a half days. That you can fail and still have an amazing year across 365. Being irreplaceable is so possible, but it comes down to you and your willingness to become more and adopting things like the seven pillars, having gratitude for the opportunity, not comparing to Al and I need to be better because Al's better. Like fuck that off. You you lever it's levers. You leverage the tribe, the people around you to. Invoke, inspire, draw more out from yourself. The wall in front of you is smoke and mirrors. You just haven't pushed through yet. Every man has a fire inside him. Some just need the kindling. If you haven't created enough value in yourself to be irreplaceable, it's on you, man. It's not the 6'3 with a 6-pack. You're 6'2 with a 4-pack. Don't fucking compare, mate. You are enough. But if you haven't invested in yourself, that enough continues to change. The 18-year-old Alex is not even close to what his wife needs. From a husband, father, and man and provider today. Not it, mate. He wouldn't last a day. Would last a day. So just know that, like, it's not, I love you for who you are. I love you for who you are and continue to become. It's definitely not, I love you, um, for who you'll always be, or who you're— or I love you for who you are right now. And if you stay the same forever, I'm probably butchering this last part here, but I guess what I'm saying is the whole, if people don't love me for who I am, then they can leave. It's like, yeah, but you're But who are you? You keep changing anyway. Like, that's life. You're not the same at 80 as you are at 8, you know? So the whole like, love me for who I am, or I love you for who you are, it's like, yeah, I love my wife for everything she's been up to this point, and I'll love her forever. But also, is that something just to sit on as a statement on an emotional attachment, on your relationship towards another person? Or is there something I can look at and go, well, I'm going to use the time anyway in this life. Just how good can I get? How valuable can I become? And it's not out of fear I'm going to be irreplaceable so my wife never looks at another man and my kids see me as their father and men only choose HPF and not other businesses. It's not that, man. Enough value in yourself. You are irreplaceable. That becomes both your mentality and your outputs, not other people's subjective view on you that you're seeking appraisal for. That's really important. Hope this serves you well. Another extended version of Al's insights. And, um, with this, just know that that's, that's a good exercise to start this off with. Can I hold on to regret? Well, no. If you become more, you're freeing yourself from it. I'm not saying if you don't become more, you should have it either. I'm not here to try and punish or put it over people, but if it's something that has a hold of you, man, the greatest way to address that is to go hand Go hard, man, and enjoy the thrill of life, the ups and the downs. The wall in front of you, your next wall, it's just smoke and mirrors. You got the fire inside, need a bit of help lighting up, bit of kindling, reach out. And you are irreplaceable. You just need to catch up with that lag and show it and prove it and become that. You know, if you can become version 2, version 3, version 4.0, why not? Why not you? And why not now? Thank you, man. See you soon. Well, that wraps up another episode. And just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you. And then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart, and there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes 4 or 5 times, and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. And also, if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You've listened to it, write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak them, believe in the change. that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life, and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you can remember and make sure you consistently learn and relearn what is— it's true and what is— that is important to you in your heart. Take care, have an amazing day, night, weekday, weekend, and I'll see you for another one soon. Cheers.