294. Al's Insights #16

Hey, just quickly, if you're a father who really aligns with our message, or potentially his wife, because we have a lot of fathers' wives now listening to this— phenomenal, love it, share it. There are people out there who are in pain, there are people out there hurting that you may intuitively know in your gut, in your instinct, yet you haven't shown them that there is a possibility, an opportunity that they can create change through creating the right perceptions and the right influence with something like HPF Coach. Share the podcast, give it out to someone who you know will appreciate it, and they can listen to it in their own time and take the steps they need to moving forward. Thank you again for spreading the love. Much respect. Welcome to an episode of Al's Insights. It's been a few minutes, gents. What a wild few months it's been with, uh, with, with HPF Coach Coach, what we've been building and doing with the, with the tribe, the community. Winter Wars, wow, that has been sensational. I've got to find a way to do video podcasts on YouTube, um, and, uh, not just YouTube, uh, Spotify, sorry, and, and do some screen shares of the, of the community. It's been, it's been incredible. And, uh, and little Flossie, little Flossie, she's 9 months old in a couple of days. That's number 4. And the road to 10, the road to 10, the move to America for free healthcare, it's all worth it. But you know, it's really interesting the, you know, how seasoned you can become if you live the HPF tenets and you're so driven towards success in life as a man across family, self, and service. You know, so one of the tenets is be ambitious in, and then, you know, and all the rest, you know, student for life, servant persona, overcommunicate, deny normal, and embrace it all, you know, the struggles. That's like the above the line. I wouldn't say the bottom 6, but that's like the above the line, the bare minimums. Even though Florence has been sick, in and out of hospital, man, it's been crazy, you know, and it's not the hospital visit, it's Corinne sleeping in a chair for 8 hours and then having to sort the other 3 kids out, you know, and then also, you know, the show goes on, right? You've got dinners and washing and all this other stuff she has to do whilst I'm away in Fiji having a holiday. But all jokes aside, like, it's hard, man, because then also I'm, I'm driving the, the business, you know. This is a big and important mission and movement for me, like changing the fabric of society. And but fellas, as you become seasoned over this process of, of having your true, your true north of not only the tenets that I live but your purpose— whilst I haven't done a podcast for a little while, man, it's, it's, it's full, full stretch, 100%. But still, still crushing, you know, hitting the gym. Yeah, maybe a few less sessions, but intensity's there. Special time with the kids. And that's everything that we, we tailor into our, um, our game plans now as well. So, you know, and it's not— I know anyone can build an app, go to lovable.com and good luck off you go. That's, that's not what we've done. We've, we've created an ecosystem where, um, every single member gets a personal tailored game plan every single week from his coach that links together that the coach builds and assesses and reviews weeks prior, weeks to come. Gold habits, future focus, targets. And that's been awesome for me to implement myself, you know. So whilst I've been stretched 400, I've missed, I've missed doing these podcasts, and I've actually factored them in to try and nail a couple a week now because I just love this line of communication I have, not only with the members but, but all of you men. It really is interesting when you look at all the shit that you cut away even when you're under the pump— family, illness, conflicting priorities, all sorts of things, lack of sleep, you haven't slept in 10 years— how you can still dial it in and kick ass. And, and there, there are 4, 4 one-liners, I guess, that I wanted to cover today that all tie together. And just keep this short and sharp, just, just to reconnect with you guys. Um, but the interesting part is, even that I want to cover today to help you guys, but, but even preceding that One thing that stands out to me above all else, and apologies if it seems like I'm waffling or bouncing around, um, is just environment, man. Environment's so powerful. Like, having the tribe, the men of HPF Coach, and that accountability, and it's really, it's really helped me. And I'm very transparent, I share, and, and in, in the community how I'm traveling and where we're at. And but, but also, you know, it's, it's a brilliant pathway to life where you, you you figure it out while you're figuring it out that there's other things to figure out. So you figure out while you're figuring out there's other things to figure out. That's what I love about this. It's not, um, hey, hey everyone, join HPF Coach. I got no fucking idea what I'm doing and let me just have some guesses. Like, you know, um, I, I, I, I, you know, well, how do you, how do you say it? Like, I would look at Family Solve and Serve and say, oh yes, at any pin drop in point in time, you, you're pursuing being highly successful. I don't know, so I feel a bit just, I just feel weird saying that, like, I am highly successful. I don't, yeah, I can't fucking stand that shit anymore. Like, it's, it's, it's not about me, but, but, so don't worry about me. It's, it's the example that, you know, and, and it's, it's knowing that, hey, like, guess what, fellas? I, I have, I have struggles too. I have trouble as well, you know, and, and, and we all have different challenges, whether your wife's got endometriosis, polycystic ovaries, and she struggles hormonally, or your wife's a little bit older than my wife, she's perimenopause, postmenopause, or your kids have moved out and you and your wife are into your second marriage, as Lyle Stone would call it. Um, you know, with, um, sorry, is that the second? That's the third marriage. Yeah, who are we? And now the kids have flown the nest. Like, it's— we all have problems. But so it's not about how awesome Al is, it's just, it's, it's a system. It's the system for life. And the system for life includes having the right environment around you to be able to handle things seen and unseen and foreseen that are coming and, and handle them and take it in your stride. And I guess that's the one thing I like, that despite all the struggles and everything, I've rewired like the gotta find a win mentality as well. Like I used to always say that you've got to find the win, you've got to find the winner. Being a bit younger, as we all are— I'm 41 in a couple of weeks, there we go— but yeah, I used to think that was a tangible win. But you know what, guys, like sometimes finding the win in the day is not, hey, it's 10:58 PM and I just gotta find and jag a win somewhere, um, you know, and do 10 burpees. It's not that. Sometimes the win is looking over and experiencing and doing your best throughout an entire day where you've got punched in the face, you've failed miserably, and that has not dampened or slowed down or hindered or stopped your enthusiasm to get up the next day and get the fuck after it. And I've had lots of those. I was sharing that with, with my wife, Krin. She was a bit worried. She's like, what do you mean? You know, like, what do you mean? Tough days. And I think I used the word bad. I was like, oh, today's a bad day. And I never use that word, uh, not, not at least when I'm talking to Krin about my day, because I see every day as a gift and opportunity. But hey, I still, I still go through tough times. I said, look, I didn't mean that. It was a text message. I was like, you know, I just, I didn't mean, I meant tough. She's like, what do you mean tough? I was like, and I laughed, I said Sorry, I said, hey, every day is tough for me. Like, this is what women, a lot of women don't understand, respectfully to women who listen to this, they don't understand about men. Almost every fucking day is tough, right? So, so I said, I said, so it's not good and bad, like I have one good day a month, but I'm like, but no, I said, look, I have one or two days a month max where it's like, man, conquered it. Everything went to plan, nailed it. And fellas, it's probably less. It might be once every couple of months, but you know what? The amount of tough days, it's like when you go to the gym, you don't You don't feel like lifting the weight, you don't feel like it, but they're the days where the muscle's built because they are, they are the links that make the chain. And if you don't put those links together, even if they look fucking ugly in the world of jobs, shit, doesn't matter. Like, it's what creates the chain. No one has a smooth, beautiful, perfect chain. So that was a big lesson for me, and I hope this helps you, man. You know, um, not to extend the intro as I always joke about, but that's so important, man. Sometimes a win is taking the failure of the day and knowing there were no wins that I can tangibly mark up and measure today other than the next day when I wake up, I get up and I get after it again. And therein lies the win. You know, failure is part of the formula, man. It's like baking choc chip cookies, 40% choc chips, right? Don't ask me how I know, but 40% choc chips. Imagine those chips are failure and it's probably higher than that, but you get in there, you throw your egg in, you mix up the bowl, you make the balls, you put it on baking paper, you chuck it in the oven and you're away. And you just keep going. So I hope that, you know, helps or motivates or inspires or recalibrates anyone out there who's listening who feels like having a failure of a day means you're a failure. It's like, no, no, man, that's there, and on the other side lies the gift. But an amazing Sydney event. Jesus, so much to catch up on, but I want to keep this short, sharp, get it out there. Amazing event. Layle Stone, she's in my eyes the greatest parenting expert in Australia, and that's Respectful of Maggie Denton and Justin Coulson and Jamie Sharp. Um, the latter two I've definitely connected with and done some work with before. Um, all, all great. Um, just loved, just love the approach. Uh, Lael, I'll get her on for a podcast. She was part of our Sydney members-only event, which was sensational. We've got other things in the pipeline that we're, we're going to be working on together, and it was incredible. It was— so some of these are definitely inspired by by you, Lael. And, um, and, and, and really from that, some key things I just want to roll in together just to put a nice little short piece together for, for you guys. Um, and the first one was, was her talking about the dynamics of parenting, what women need. So it was a really beautiful approach with parenting, but also relationships to a degree. You as a father with your children, but also you and your wife together as leaders of the household. And had me realize something. And so these aren't really one-liners, but the, the The things I wanted to cover were, um, the Panda, which I've spoken about a while ago, but I talk about a lot in HPF Coach, you know, the Viking, the Panda, and the Chief. And we've got the Shapeshifter and the Misaligned Chief. I'll do a separate episode on that and revamp it. But as she was talking through the struggles through parenting, and she mentions the first, second, third marriage— the first is when you're together, second's when you have kids, third's when the kids leave, which was a good way to put it actually, because it does change the dynamic. Um, There was something that I just wrote down that appealed to me, that just clicked with when she was talking about the dynamics, and it's Panda is not an over-the-top emotional blubber, but the emotions matter, like they really do. So, so if you, if you're more Panda inclined, that's not me insulting you, or if I talk about in the ads, it's not me saying you, you're, you're a bitch or a pussy or whatever. It's, it's understanding the, the the influential energy that you hold that has been misplaced or not allocated accordingly to the situation. So I love being a panda with the kids, for instance, correctly placed, correct situation, half an hour before dinner time, playing wrestling, whatever it might be, you know. Should I be a panda when they've been playing up and naughty several times and now it's 10 o'clock and they're not asleep yet? But probably not. But also at the same time, the Panda isn't the emotional blubbery mess that's like clinging to his wife going, please, let's talk about feelings and emotions absolutely matter. But what I need you men to understand is, um, the Panda energy when chronically lived without an element of Chief or Viking in the wrong environments through the eyes of those you love and care about who, who, who depend on your strength, your stability, and to be that rock, aka your wife. It can be a really dangerous slippery slope that you're just not aware of. Perfect example, not making any decisions. You could be one of the strongest men in the world. You could be a strong man physically, business, all that stuff. But simply not having input on your position leads to a Panda energy. Literally being away from home. Some of you FIFO guys and guys who travel, it's really tough, man. Your wife can't not embed herself into the family dynamic with logical, with a logical mindset and process because Kids needed to be— kids need to be bathed and they need haircuts and they need to be fed and they need to be put to sleep and they need to be dropped off to school and they need lunches made and, you know, they need to go to their sports and, you know, the house needs to be upkept. And there are all these logical processes that just skew too far in favor of, of, of the masculine energy that your wife will take on when you're physically not present. Now I'm not saying all you FIFO guys— we've got plenty of FIFO members who we make it work— there's a lot of pendulum swings that need to come back the other way, but that's tough. Literally, your physical presence, not being there, a lack of emotional connection Even though you, you think you're, you're being strong, that can be postured as cold, disconnected, and weak because this man doesn't understand, so he's not valuable. Like, it's all about looking at what value is in the eye of the beholder at any given time, you know. Um, there's, there's, there's a, a, a teenage boy who's yelling at a teenage girl and they're having a little breakup and and, and you dive from the second story of a shopping center to, to interject, and, and, and you crash tackle the boy, and it's like, okay, well, that's probably a bit fucking silly. Terrorist comes in wielding a massive machete looking to cut people up, you dive in to do the same thing, you're a hero. That was a very poor example, but hopefully you get my point. Like, it has its place, and, and it certainly has its place where you either keeping up appearances or having all the best intentions, um, will be seen of a lesser value because you've, you've so missed the mark. And that's typically what a misaligned chief is, to a degree. Um, all good intentions, but it's typically the sense of self and how you're portrayed and seen, which leads to weaker priorities and not focusing on the commitments that matter for your family, which means you're all talk and full of shit most of the time, and you never have any impact with those who love and care about you. And looking into more about your image and how you're seen That is absolutely a panda risk that you can have as well. So I just need you guys to understand that, like, it's not— anytime you hear that term with our HPF, um, you know, our chief index, you know, that, that sort of archetype or, or index, it, it doesn't mean that you're weak. It's just saying, hey, this is, this is where things are at for you, where you're not seen as a pillar of strength at the right times for your family. That really landed with me with, with, with, with what Lael went through, which was nothing about that, but it was just funny how we saw the energies crossing over when she talked about being a, a permissive parent, an authoritative parent and then a connected parent, right? Same thing was the Viking, the Panda, and the Chief. It was so funny how it all came together. So just keep that in mind. Like, being a Panda isn't you're a pussy or emotional and, you know, you're whinging or whining. Or it's, it's lots of little things that lead to you not having a spine and position of— and I don't mean spine as in you're, you're a coward, but spine is in a position of strength from which people know who you are, where you stand, and can count on you to drive decisions, actions, and direction. At the time that it's required. It's a skill, mate. None of your fathers would have— not my father, didn't, mate. My father was like, man, he, he was nothing to 100, you know, loved us and was loving, but he was a massive Viking. He's almost like an absent Viking in a way. Not absent in our lives, but like, it's just, it would come from nowhere and then boom, well, um, you know, but did the best with what he could. But in this day and age, especially someone like HPF Coach available, should we be saying the same things? Hey, did the best with what I had. Well, what do you have and what are you having and investing in? The second one was quick to closure, even with the best intentions, instead of letting them open up and process. This is a video, went for about 3 minutes of this kid having a tantrum and the dad just sat there and I don't like all the commercial terms, but yeah, quote unquote, held space. So he just sat there and just was present with her. Let's just say that. And the child settled down, they hugged, they embraced, and it was awesome. And I was like, wow. I was like, there are so many times where I'm here to console or reconcile the situation of my children, even with best intentions. And what I realize is I'm smothering it because I just want it to stop. I want the pain to stop, want the suffering to stop. And I'm quick for— at times I'm quick to closure, even with the best intentions, instead of allowing things to unfold. That includes fights, letting Stella and Lillian have it out and not interjecting and just squashing it because my power and authority can. So I just want you to sit on that for a second and just go, look, am I quick to closure, even if in my head, in my perspective, I have good intentions? Even though I assume, because you don't know what happened at school that day, you don't know how your children slept, you don't know what's going on in their bodies hormonally. I've got a 5, 7, and 10-year-old. What's going on with their changes hormonally? Did someone at school say something not nice to them, but they forgot? But subconsciously, the seed's been planted. It's now 14 days later since they've woken up, and we wonder why they can't just get in the bath and then go to bed. You know, all these things, this ripple effect. Like, don't be quick to closure in situations and scenarios. Without— despite having best intentions, without just sometimes allowing and perceiving the possibilities of what's going on in their world and their position to then just play out naturally. And that doesn't mean that we sit down and talk about feelings from 6 PM till 12 PM and, okay, Stella and Eileen, you're good, you've spoken for 6 hours, awesome. Of course, as a parent, you're here to put the guardrails on and curate the process, whether it's fighting, whether it's opening up about feelings, whether it's developing deeper trust with them, and so on and so forth. So I just found that really interesting, um, that that was the takeaway I got from watching that 3-minute video, and they all went on about and spoke about it at the event with the guys and got some more feedback. But that was a common thing, like, I just wanted to stop it. I just wanted to stop them crying. And, and, you know, again, fellas, I'm not infallible. I don't have it all made, you know. I feel very blessed and lucky, and, and I get incredible feedback from, from my family, um, on, on my approach. And I'm always seeking to be better. But, but they're the little things, right? They're like, ah, okay, yeah, you're a great dad, Al, but also, hang on, man, What are the seeds you're planting and nurturing and, and watering now that's going to lead to Stella shutting down in 7 years' time when she gets her P-plates and gets a car because of what she did beforehand anytime there's conflict in this area of life? Like that— this is hard, right? This is like the whole choose your own adventure but not being able to read those chapters of the book, man. It's so, you know, it's a bit of a, um, bit, bit, bit twisted to try and figure it all out, but But that's why, that's why you be proactive about it. That's why you're a student for life. You're always looking at learning and, and how you can approach things. And since that event, uh, my nature's changed to that, to allow more of that. But guess what? Funnily enough, we've still gotten the result, whether it's, you know, we've got to get to this or we need to achieve that with the kids' bedtime, or— but instead of the process being squash and then silence, not that I've been an authoritarian, but I've allowed that room and that space And we've still functioned as a family daily, weekly, and, uh, and throughout the months since the event. So I hope that lands for you guys and is something to think about with, with you, whether it's parenting or relationships or even in yourself and your own inner dialogue. Do you allow yourself to just sit there and express? And whether it's journaling, writing, thinking, feeling, good, bad, ugly, evil, holy, whatever it might be, these thoughts, do you allow them to come through and, and pass and, and run their course? Which takes me to the next one. Um, Apparently scientifically, a moment's measured as 3 seconds. Now, that could be true. What is a moment? A moment could be a minute, it could be 20. But if you do the maths on that for the time that you're awake, that means, fellas, you have 7 million moments a year. Now, you would know if you haven't figured out by now, like, my, my one thing that I feel attuned into is the visionary, the vision. We all have specific gifts and things we lean towards, but for me, that's absolutely that, and I leverage time for that, for that message. But for this, I was like, wow, geez, mate, 7 million, 7 million. I was like, well, okay, well, what if the moment's more than 3 seconds? All right, well, let's, let's 7x that, 21 seconds. Like, that's a long time, you know, if I just pause here, that was 3. So let's say 21 seconds. Um, that's a million moments a year, a million moments a year. So safe to say that hopefully the first two landed on you, on your energetic approach to situations and being strong through that and trying to remove some of the panda where not needed, as well as allowing the rhythm and cycle of these quote-unquote moments to pass with relationships, yourself and your own head and your heart, your children, your workers and colleagues, the scenarios that you face to process naturally instead of trying to just squash them with all good intentions. A million moments a year is a lot. It's a lot. Think about all those little things, the self-talk. I used to always do that. I was the comeback king. I talked myself down in footy. I talked myself down in CrossFit and I'll make it back. And then almost like I tried to neg myself into then coming back. So there was no expectations that I won or what, and then I'll prove you wrong. This is me to myself. Fucking crazy. All the way through. It's a common thing all the way through, whether you're aware of it or not. All the way through to then almost getting there, especially in CrossFit. Lots of podiums, only won once, but you know, that was right at the end of the last event I ever did. So you're going, okay, cool, you just equalized your energy. What a waste. A million moments a year. What's that? What's that inner monologue that's going on? What's that inner dialogue back and forth that's going on in your head? All those little, a million moments a year. And people think it's still the big Hail Marys or that big job I'll land or that big paycheck or we get X amount in the bank account or that house that we buy or that reno that we pull off or that that car that we get or that holiday that we have. Curly said it best in City Slickers, man. I'm showing my age now if there's younger men here, but I think it's in the early '90s. You know, people spend 50 weeks of the year tying their rope in knots. And well, he's talking about people and going on holidays and their problems, right? He's like, you know what, people will spend 50 weeks of the year tying their rope up in knots and they think they can untie it in 2 weeks. You know, and that's true. It's so true. Um, you spend 50 weeks of the year if you have a 2-week holiday, for instance, and think you can untie it with a little holiday and escape from reality and escape from life. Million moments a year. A million. You look at people, you look at how their lives turn out and shape up. Me being in my 40s now, you can just see it. And it's not good or bad or judging, whether it's school friends or colleagues or workers, whether they're a leaf, a branch, or, or trunk, or they're part of the roots, you know, in terms of they're in your life for a season. Many many years. Lots, you know, a couple of years. That's a lot of moments. How do you carry yourself? What's your mentality? What's your mindset? What's your, what's your environment like? What are the people around you? What are they fostering? Of course there's problems in life, but I look in HPF Coach and what I see is men reaching out with problem solutions and collaboration together to fix them. It's not a sad dads club. It's a group of men come together and they keep on the hunt and they keep their eye on the prize. And despite Despite the problems, despite the struggles, despite the challenges that they face and people, places, and things trying to throw them and knock them off their horse, they get back on or they stay on and they keep riding. Million moments a year. That's if they're 21 seconds a moment. Just think about that and what that means for you in your life. If you were to look at the averages, if I were to say, hey, let's do an audit. You know, we call it like the board of directors of life or questions like if you had a, if you had a board of directors for the life of Al and they follow followed me around everywhere, would they be proud of what they saw? Would they be happy with what they see behind closed doors? That's a pretty confronting question, you know. But if you look at it that way, let's do an audit of your— not your last year, it's the 11th of August, can you believe that? But not the last year, but the last 1 million moments. How many of them do you actually think are positive? How many are negative? How many are you actually driving And then how many of you are the passenger seated? It's a volume game, men. Always has been, always will be. Those who are the most successful absolutely fail the most. They've been rejected the most. They've been told no the most. They've looked the worst. They've looked the fool. They've been the most in— you know, you know, not, not inconsistent, but they've been the most, um, most amateur, so to speak. Or because, because obviously you're always stepping into levels, right? So I'm not the smartest person in the room, and when I am, I go to a different room and all that sort of stuff, right? Or, or You know, I played local grade, now I'm playing rep footy. Okay, cool, I've got to earn my stripes again. And you know, I'm the big fish in the, in the fishbowl, and now I'm, now I'm in a pond. Oh, there's some koi, they'll kick my ass. I was just a goldfish. Or okay, let's, let's go into the ocean with killer whales. So, you know, versus a koi fish. And so it's really interesting when you, when you look at your, your life and your mentality that you have. And the choices that you have, it's tens of millions. If you look at that 25 to 65, that, that 40-year chunk, 40 million moments. I mean, look, 280 million if you wanted to count the definition. Again, don't quote me on that, I could be wrong. I won't look it up while I'm on here, but, um, I remember seeing that many years ago that a moment was apparently classified as 3 seconds. Hey, you know what, Man, even if it's, even if it's a minute, that's 300,000 moments. You know, like that's a lot of moments. And, and even if it's, you know, even if we're talking like 16 hours a day, okay, cool. And what if you have, you know, was it 6,000 again? If we have 16 hours a day, I'm going to do this one actually. Even if a moment was an hour, mate, right? Even if a moment was an hour. And, uh, you know, it's, uh, that's right. I knew it was 840, but yeah, it was 5,840. So even if a moment's an hour, that's 5,000, nearly 6,000 moments a year. But coming back to 20 seconds, that's a lot. That's a lot. So you look at your, your mental attitude and approach, and that is dictated by previous belief systems and the environment you immediately immerse yourself in, as well as the inner dialogue and how you, how you channel yourself. So what is the past that puts me into an autonomous robot to a degree, like I'm an animal and my brain wants to work efficiently? So what are the things I'm doing that keeps me in inefficiency state that's driven off your past patterns and, and programming. Then, then what's my actual conscious awareness inside me to have that inner dialogue of where I'm at? Who is Alex? What's important to me? Family, self, and service. How am I feeling? How's this week, this day, this month, this year? And then there's the external environment that's going to influence both of those— both my relationship to my past and my programming that I have, and then my conscious awareness of what I choose to do with that programming and with the external environment I'm exposed to. And with, again, the fourth piece is probably my North Star— what drives purpose in my life, for who I decide to be and what defines defines a life that matters to Alex Ranieri. Actually, you could probably do a training based on that, those 4 key things, right? Million, a million of them. So fast, man. So fast. You wouldn't even know if you didn't stop and give yourself the time just to listen to even this podcast, right? 1 million moments. We are the ones who must live with the results of our choices. It's a, um, I don't even know if I heard that somewhere else or if I heard a member say it, or it doesn't even matter where it came from, but that's, that's so— man, and that's, it's one that I think of almost every day. You know, we are the ones who must live with the results of our choices. So when I look at those million moments, for me, I try to make as least choices as possible. Of course, you know, HPF and problem solving and service and family and kids and the wife, but it's not It's not about decisions, but it's like channeling the choices that we make. You know, um, call it choices, call it decisions, but I look at life and I try and be as simple as possible. I try and funnily enough know as least as possible about anything outside of everything that concerns and has to do with me and my life and family, self, and service. So, um, couldn't, couldn't tell you, couldn't tell you what's happening with politics. Couldn't tell you what's happening with Fauci overseas. Like, I mean, it's, you know, it's not whether it's, whether it's news, mainstream, conspiracy, conspiracy real because time's lapsed, you know. Um, none of that, man. Like, it's, it's looking at the moments and trying to make quality choices and fewer choices instead of this crazy almost like ADHD-induced world and state of energy that just pulls you into millions of different things, which doesn't allow you to stack those millions of moments for a compounding return. Like, think about that. Just, just follow the point. Like, think about a million moments a year, right? Okay, cool. What if, what if, what if, you know, let's say family, self, and service— let's say 600,000 of those moments is on service, right? Because most of us spend more time working, like a work, you know, 8, 10, 12, 14— oh, not too many 14-hour days anymore, but, but yes, a lot of hours, you know. And then 16 hours awake, I guess. Um, you've got investing in yourself and your family, which is possibly 1 to 1, maybe a bit more in family. Might be like 600,000 moments for work and, um, you know, 250 for, for family and 150 for think about work. If out of those 600,000 moments they were consolidated into a few core pillars that drove your career, your role, your business forward, would you have a better outcome or not? Think about family. So it's not just the amount of moments, but it's the quality and consolidating them. Like special time, man. Like my kids are hassling me for special time. I've got it in the calendar, but they hassle me. So it's like, That's the compounding return of, of doing special time with my kids one-on-one. It's always more than 10 minutes, but we plan for 10 minutes. But over time, which has reinforced inside of them a behavior, a pattern, a programming, an understanding of, yeah, this is what it is. I know what special time is. I have it with my dad. This is the, the dopamine and the oxytocin and the connection, the response that I have from it. It's a desirable thing. It's valuable. I want it with my father. Hey, had special time. Hey, Rome, it's Sunday, mate. Roman, you have special time on Wednesday. So like, think about that, man. So that's the fun. And then think about your life, the hardships, the turmoil, um, you know, all, all of those different things. It's, it's, it's hard, man. I love you. I'm not in love with you. I just don't feel connected anymore. You know, all those one-liners you hear from, from your wife, all those moments or those ahas, those realizations, whether it's work, whether it's your health and well-being, getting that scam back, wow, mate, you're fucking, your blood work's shot to shit, whatever it might be. They too were just millions of moments where possibly, uh, better choices could have been made. But this is the key too, right? It's not the big thing that'll turn your life around. It's not the big thing we'll take to the next level. It's just stacking 10, 20, 50, 100, 1,000. You go to the gym for an hour and a half, fantastic. Like, you know, what's, what's the math of that? So 90 minutes, 90 times 60 seconds, cool, 540, um, yeah, or 5,400 seconds. Okay, sweet. Even if we went with 20, um, 20 seconds per moment— he tested my maths now— um, what do we have? We've got 5, 50, 50 moments will put you at, um, at 1,000. Awesome, 250 moments. Add on the, um, the 400, you got a few more, right? So 250+ moments, fantastic, man. A quarter of a thousand, what a victory. How can I stack up a thousand? How can I get a thousand, a thousand wins if we count them as a moment? Thousand moments, well, unreal. You've got your morning routine, you wake up, you've got connection with your family time, you've got your block of work you'll rip into, maybe it's lunch, maybe it's not, you go to the gym, mate, there you go. There's 1,500 moments done, one. So, so just on that, like it's, it's the greatest accomplishments in life are always through the smallest increments. Like it's, it's, it's always the smallest incremental actions that you take. Always. I've never seen anything otherwise that would convince me that, that there's a different path or different answer. Um, and that's, that's, that's true of life. The final one is, I guess if we were to to, to stack these and, and pull this together and wrap this up. Understanding the energetic expression that the environment requires or situation, your wife, your children, and knowing that, that, that panda, which is a beautiful energy, but it's only a very small, should be infrequent. It's not a very, you can be consistent, but infrequent where that is perceived or real pulling you away from becoming the leader you can in your family. Internally, internal, external, could be FIFO. What am I going to do about that? Then it's understanding like when it comes to, to the process of life and these quote unquote moments, are you quick to closure even with good intentions? Even if warm, not cold, um, instead of letting your children, your wife, your workers or colleagues, your clients, yourself. Open up and process the moment, the period of time, or the reflection. 7 million moments in a year based off a 3-second moment, rounded up to 21, that's a million moments a year. What choices do you make? How are you stacking them? How are you incrementally building your life and including the environment you're surrounded by, including your North Star that gives you purpose? Including your present awareness in the now. And not only present awareness in the now, but using that to reflect on the past. That's a powerful 4-piece set, man. I hope you guys, you know, write that down or listen to that again. Or that, that's a— man, I might make a resource out of that because that is, that is the, that, that is the key, man, to looking at your, your life as it stands, to know your position and where you're at and your purpose. And the last one is, you don't need the thank yous, you just need to know that you are the ripple effect. Thank yous are nice but not needed. And I can't remember where I heard this from. I think, I think it was from, it was actually from a member at our Sydney event. Had to have been because this is an SMS I sent to myself actually on Sunday, the 26th of July at 12:32 PM. So it must have been after our, um, after our Sydney event. And it's so true, man. And I get it, fellas, it's hard because the, the The appreciation, the affection, the admiration, they're like 3 big things. I'll start with A as well. The AAA effect. They're so important for us. Like just, just to value what we do, appreciation. To, to be inspired and, and, and honor the effort in what we achieve, the admiration, you know, typically from our children. And of course our wife, I mean, shortened versions, admire, to admire someone and all, all, all their makeup, all their parts. And the affection is that, that emotional showing of value and gratitude and connection. Of course we want all that. So the thank you is nice, but it's, it's, it's not always needed. And that's where, like, even me, my good times, bad times, problems, problem solved, all that stuff, I, I enjoy and I feel more closely connected to the men of HPF Coach and my team in some ways in my life than I am to my wife, as I should be, um, as I should be. You know, she's not a man, she never will be. And so there are areas of my life where I have a closer and stronger relationship with my team. And then also my wife gets the eggplant emojis and my team doesn't, right? Let's just, let's just draw the fucking line there, mate. Love you guys listening to this, but don't expect those emojis from me. They're reserved. They're reserved for the missus. On that, actually, Krin's really keen. I said, no, we've got to wait a few more episodes so we can make it episode number 200. But, uh, she's keen to, uh, dive into a podcast together right while we're in the middle of the storm of our beautiful young family. So I can't wait to get her on and, um, and deep dive. That'll be, that'll be a solid one. One. One for the ages, that one. Deep dive into everything. Uh, but yeah, fellas, like, you don't, you don't need the thank you. Um, whilst it's nice, you are enough. You don't need it. Just know that you are the ripple effect. Like, you are that beautiful smooth stone that lands in that pond of potential, that pond of possibility, that pond of your legacy. And that water isn't just bound by blood. That's not your bloodlines. That's your legacy. The ripple effect that spreads out in all directions to all people whose lives you've touched. And that matters. Is it nice to get some gratitude? Some— of course it is. Is it unreasonable to ask for that? Every now and then, of course not. But just know deep at the core, when it's all said and done, it's not the nice-to-haves, would-like-to-have, feel-likes. It's the knowing. And knowing that you are the ripple. And that is the everlasting change that you men listening to this podcast who get up and get after it and stack those millions of choices represent and what creates the rest of humanity when we're long and gone. Don't you dare shortchange yourself on that. That's a beautiful thing, and that's real impact at the core. Appreciate you all, man. We'll see you on the next one. Hey, I just wanted to ask a favor of you. It takes 11 to 23 seconds, but look, the best way we can reach more people and change more lives is by more people knowing and listening to this powerful message. I'm just a cog in the wheel sharing this. I mean, every episode you hear is inspired by the members of High Performance Father Coach and the will and desire I see in the world of families looking to live a rich and fulfilling life with love. Jump on, give us a 5-star review if you can, whether it's iTunes, Spotify, Amazon, even Facebook, Instagram, anywhere where you feel there's somewhere where you can contribute and approve and promote HPF Coach and the message that you align with in, in who we are and what we mean. That means the world to me, and it's the reason why I keep turning up and creating these episodes. So thank you, and I appreciate you. Cheers.