299. Ed Armstrong: Mighty Pete, the Firebreathers, and What It Takes to Lead Men Forward

If this is something that you're really starting to resonate with and you've racked up 5, 10, 15, maybe 20 podcasts by now, I just want to ask a small favor of you. The greatest way that we create the greatest impact inside of this world is by reaching more people and more people really tying into the value they can offer themselves at a fundamental level. HPF stands for fathers really valuing and believing in themselves and investing in themselves so that they and their family wins. A couple of quick things. I hope you enjoy the episode ahead. It's a phenomenal one that we've just recorded for you. But essentially, I'd love for you to give us a review. Obviously, a 5-star review would be amazing, but whether it's iTunes, Spotify, Amazon, it could be on Facebook, a Facebook review, anywhere, Google, anywhere where you see there's value in you giving us the approval and recognition that will spread this message. Much respect, really appreciate you for doing that and also sharing this with someone who you know would get huge benefits out of listening to this as well. So enjoy the episode ahead, but if there's just one thing I could ask for, 10 to 30 seconds of your life, um, to give back. I love doing these episodes. I do these, uh, for you, member or not, and for the wider community. I'd love it if you could just give a little bit back and really promote that, that you support this and this is something that, you know, you would love to share with others who you know would get value out of this as well.

And we are live. A long Long overdue podcast. We have an incredible guest and a pillar of strength in the HPF community, a very impactful part of this mission for, geez, you'd be coming up to 4 years, nearly entering your 5th year, Mr. Ed Armstrong, the head coach of the Firebreathers. Ed, how are you, mate?

I'm doing very well, very well. Head coach of the Winter Wars Championship Firebreathers. I think we did a 3-peat. So yeah, look, so happy to be here. It's been a long time coming, but yeah, it's been about, I think it's coming up to 4 years. We'll be back end of this year, I think, in the next month or so. So yeah, long overdue, but really excited to be here and looking forward to an amazing conversation with you.

Absolutely. And if you haven't figured out already, Ed's got a very soothing tone. He's English, so it's been hard to get him because of all the radio and TV gigs that Ed does all over the world because he just captivates you with his voice. So it's hard to Hard to get him locked in for a session, so I appreciate it.

They say, uh, face and voice for radio, so that's what they've always said about me. Now, excited, excited to be here. It's going to be an awesome conversation.

Yeah, so I was going to talk about our bro splits— upper, lower body, push, pull— but, uh, maybe not, mate. 1RM bench press. But I always love our offsites, mate, and we, uh, we do some, uh, some gym training together. And that's one thing that I really love about you, Ed, the way that you, you keep turning up and, and you you continue to drive the mission, uh, and also, yes, salt into the wound, mainly with Harding and the Knights, but no, no, the other, the other team as well, teams as well with, um, Winter Wars and, and all the challenges. And it's, it's great fun, mate. I love having you in this community, but, but I want to go back a little bit. And, you know, you, you, yes, I'm pretty sure it was 20, it would have been actually, no, it would have been around 4 years between September and October 2022.

True.

Mate, you saw us on, I thought it was Seek, but I think it was actually Indeed. You know, walk me, I mean, you know, walk me through that point, mate. Take me back to the beginning. You saw us advertising for a role with the company. Like, yeah. What were you looking for at that point in your life? And, um, and what made you click on the ad and reach out?

Yeah, it's a great question. And I've thought, I thought about this a long time. The biggest thing for me, I was in a real transition phase. Within my own career, I'm sure we'll touch on a bit of this later on, but I was actually, I transitioned from a PT, strength and conditioning coach. So, I was working with sort of semi-professional rugby players and I was doing a lot of work with the S&C and the nutrition and the sort of, I suppose, high performance in elite sports. And then, I had my own business, which was very much a lot more around the lifestyle, the holistic mindset, a mental approach to life, not just, funnily enough, increasing a 1RM on a bench press, which I always loved to help people with, but I was like, there's got to be more to this. So then, I was always fascinated by the depth, right? And the relationships and the lifestyle and the communication style with helping my guys and the people that I was working through or with through improving their relationships and all these sorts of things. So then, I was launching my own business for a long while. Very similar to what we do at HPF, which was amazing. So, it was much more on the lifestyle element with nutrition, with training, with improving the foundation of health and life, I suppose. But I just felt like the impact wasn't at the level I wanted or believed I was able to or capable to create and achieve. And so, I was actively looking. I was like, there must be a company out in Australia, in Sydney hopefully, because that's obviously where I'm based, Nutrable Bay. Harding always takes the piss out of where I live just because he lives in Townsville. Shout out to the Townsville boys. No, joking aside, I was thinking there must be a place in Sydney, a company that does exactly what I believe I'm very good at and I can create more of an impact and I can work with 100 men, 200 men. Because my business, like a lot of businesses, I suppose when you're quite small, You have a great impact, but it's an impact with 10 people, 20 people on a good month or a good year, 30. And this, I was so excited to be like, right, how can I find that? There's got to be something so I can do what I do, but with a company, with a team, and create more impact. So yeah, I was scrolling like anyone does when looking for work and High Performance Father came up. I thought, hang on a minute, this sounds good. sounds too good to be true. And I saw the advert, you want to help men, you want to transform lives, health, foundational training, relationships, create massive impact. I was like, this is for me. So, that's how it started. And then, I obviously did what anyone else would do. I searched a bit more about Al, Big Al, or Big Ali as I call him. And I just went down the sort of HPF rabbit hole, so to speak. And then, I saw the Kosi I think it was, would it have been Kosi 2.0? Yeah, I think it was the Kosi 2.0 doco. And then I was, yeah, that was it for me. I was like, oh, this is literally exactly what I was looking for. And that documentary had these great men climbing up the Kosi mountain and, you know, the fireside campfire sort of chats. It was just the energy I just, I loved and was all about and wanted. And I was like, yeah, this is it. So, Straight away, applied as quick as I could. And then without going into too much detail, the funny story was I think I got through the first stages and then Al said, or you said, sorry, I'm talking about you in the third person. Al, you said, mate, come to the house and we'll have an interview. And I was like, fantastic, let's go. And the funny story was I was actually 45 minutes early. I was waiting in the side street. But I didn't want to be too keen, so I didn't want to be too early. So I knocked on the door, I met Corinne straight away, and it was now sort of 3 minutes to. And then Al was down, I think he was swimming or lifting some weights. And then you came up and it was now 9 o'clock or 9:01. And I didn't get your humor back then. So you said, oh, great, mate. Good job. You're on time for your first meeting. And I obviously now know we were having a laugh, but I was like, oh no, he thinks I'm late. But actually, I was 45 minutes early.

And then we had a great great, great first meeting.

And, um, yeah, and then we, we, the rest is history. Here we are 4 years later. So, um, yeah, an awesome initial story there as well.

Absolutely. I love the, um, the, the whatever it takes. That, that's what I picked up from you, mate. You know, I just, this is a mission I want to be part of because you actually started more on like appointment setting and the sales side, right? But, but now the interview was great, mate. And, um, yeah, what I really respected was your attire, you know, so exceptionally dressed and, and we, we, we swore We were sworn to secrecy with each other. We never talk about the turtleneck that you're wearing, but here it is. It just keeps popping up every now and then about or whatever. But no, but you know, driving all the way up and the professionalism, and it was awesome, man. And that's where I was like this, you know, because obviously we've interviewed lots of people over time. I was like, no, something different about this guy, you know. And and obviously that's played out right here we are. But but mate, yeah, that's I love to though. just sit on that for, for a second. The, the, the appointment setting and the, the side of like reaching out to, to men and, and starting to understand, like, because it's, it's like, look, a lot of you guys will hear and, and see similarities, or whether it's ads or podcasts, and you'll connect to it, right? But it's like a lot of people, um, not their fault, are genuinely naive or ignorant to like a lot of the struggles and challenges and what men and fathers are going through. But, um, But yeah, like what was it like for you, Ed, when you were starting on, on, you know, reaching out to men or connecting with men who'd reached out to HPF to inquire about more? And what did you find you learned about them, men, where fatherhood is at the moment? And, um, and, and what did you learn in those early conversations and also that you, that you still carry through to, to even today coaching these men?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Well, just to go back a little bit on the whatever it takes, that was, that was big for me because I actually I didn't share that, but initially, there wasn't that role that I really wanted right away, but the sort of mindset of, we'll figure it out. And I had a strong belief in myself that if I can perform, then I know, and I feel I had a bit of confidence there. I don't want to say arrogance. That's not the right word, but I really have strong belief in myself that I was like, Al, if I do a great job here, you're going to want to get me to another role. And that was something that really excited me. But I was also really fascinated to start. Um, you know, I'm of a belief of you start, you know, all respect to appointment setters, but for me, I wanted to start right at the level of the business where I could learn a lot more, understand the members we're dealing with, and then hopefully, like any high achiever, try to build myself up in the company. Um, and for me, it was something I'd never done before. I'd never been in sort of I suppose with my own business, you obviously have to have the element of sales and setting your own appointments to get your own clients into your own business before HPF. So I had some experience, but I've never been a salesman, so to speak. But I was fascinated by understanding these men that I was hopefully one day going to be working very closely with, which was my ultimate goal. And I think I said that to you on day one. I want to be a head coach in here, and I'll do my best to show you that and to prove that and earn that spot. But for me, it was It was a fascinating journey, really. Shout out to the great Tim David. He's a great salesman that's working with us on the front end to this day. And me and Timmy started, I think, 4 years ago. Yeah, myself and Timmy. And we were very hungry. I think Tim and I were actually talking about this the other day, how when it was me and Timmy and you, Al, and there was an element where it was just 4 of us on that side and we were You know, getting some big numbers in because we were working so hard to just get these men and show them the value and to bring them across the line. So it was a beautiful journey really. And I was able to have amazing conversations with so many great men. I'm not sure, there must be some that are still now in the ecosystem that I probably brought in 4 years ago. And either I'm coaching them now or they're in another squad. But One thing I heard just so often was a lot of men doing it really tough and a lot of men, not for the lack of wanting more or trying. That was one thing I would always hear in these men's voices was they're trying so many things and they certainly weren't lazy and they weren't giving up, but it was like they just didn't know what the next step was or they just didn't have the tools or they needed support or they wanted to be part of a community of like-minded men, right? We hear that phrase all the time, but it's true that the power of a community and great men that are all trying to build each other up and support each other, and we'll dive into this later, I'm sure, is hugely beneficial for so many of these men because so many are out there doing it on their own and struggling, right? And we all know where that gets a lot of men in the modern world. They're alone and they try to figure it out and It's not always a good outcome. So yeah, it was fascinating for me to just see the sort of mass of men that one, were reaching out, which showed to me that there's a huge problem and a lot of people need help. And it just reaffirmed to me that, yeah, I was in the right place to be able to initially get these men to the next stage to then help them make the right decision for themselves and their families. And then, Help them, yeah, open the door, so to speak, and then, and then let them walk through. And that was how I saw that initial role. And, and, uh, now I obviously get to work a lot, a lot more closely with all of them. But yeah, that was my first, uh, experience, you know, in HPF, and it was, it was a powerful one.

Yes. And what, what's it like? I mean, and we will dive a bit deeper into it, but, um, I guess just, yeah, a snapshot of what it's like now walking the journey with the men, you know, as opposed to opening the door and, and, and giving them the chance to walk through to now actually being such a close part of the actual transformational journey with them? What's it like?

It's a great question. I mean, I love it selfishly more than I did on the front end, purely from a— I suppose there's a little bit of a— I don't know if selfish is the right word, but I just always knew that was what I was good at. And I knew that I was always getting them through on that first level, but then I was like, God, I know I can help that guy, so I want to support him rather than just sort of hand him over, so to speak. But I was very aware that was my role back then. But now to be able to, yeah, it's an amazing sort of visual. It's now like I'm the one holding the hand and bringing them through the door, whereas before I was sort of opening it for them and a gentle pat on the back, so to speak. And now I'm there. And I'll say that to my guys on the first call. I'll say, mate, think of me as your Sherpa up the mountain. I'll carry the bag when you need it and I'll be walking along the path with you, but I'll also be making sure you're doing the work too, right? And we're doing it together because I'd be doing you a disservice if I was doing all the work for you. But it's an amazing journey. And the biggest thing for me is being surrounded by all the men and all the stories. I mean, I see it every day. Like, I can't open my squad feed, the Mighty Breathers, Winter Wars champs. I can't open that feed and not see 20 wins a morning, right? Guys having amazing stories, guys that have finally reconnected with their kids after 5 years Guys that are now finally taking half an hour from work to go and be at their son's play at school that they openly would've said they've missed for the last 20 or 10 years, 5 years, whatever it is. Just win on win on win on win on share. You know, it's just, so for me, it just gives me so much confidence. One, to know that what we do as a service, I mean, I'll openly tell my guys again on the first call, trust me, if you meet us in the middle, you do the work, you're gonna change your life. And that's just the certainty that I maybe didn't have on day one because you don't know, right? Or you're getting these guys in and I'm going, I hope he gets the best service. I hope he gets an amazing result. But I didn't know, right? Because that was just the initial space I was in. But now I'm walking the path with, I don't know how many men now over the years and the wins and the confidence I get from them just knowing that How how much it works for these guys when they do the work and meet us in the middle. That's what's that's what's amazing for me, and that's what's inspiring. And then that motivates me more to to try and help them more as well. And and then new guys come in. It's like boys, help me out. Bring in the new guys. Show them what's possible. And then I'll tell my new guys, go and read ten of the posts from yesterday, and you'll if you can't be inspired, then there's something wrong with you, right? So it's just and it's not it's not selling. It's not it's just here you go. Go and watch. Experience it for yourself. And that. And that's powerful because that's just confidence you can't fake. So it's just like, yeah, let's go. And then let's see what's possible. And I love that every man, every journey's different. We've all got the similarities, but everyone's slightly different. And that's what's so exciting to see as well. So yeah, it's a very powerful, very powerful place to be.

Yeah. I think you'll definitely reach over 1,000 men, mate, directly and indirectly before the end of the decade. For sure, in impact and transforming lives. And it's inspiring, Ed. It's awesome. It's what I love seeing about you and the other coaches, which are really the absolute workhorses and driving this mission and upholding the standards and things like Winter Wars. Did the other coaches congratulate you, mate, or buy something nice for you?

I think Eric has. He wasn't happy having to do it, but Harding was beaten so badly he had to take a holiday. So Harding hasn't said anything yet. And no, the boys are doing great and we have it. We have a great, great bit of fun when we, we're all very competitive, which is, which is great. But they haven't got me a gift yet, but I'm hoping there's still time. So yeah, but the breathers were on fire this year. On fire.

That makes sense because Harding, yeah, when he, when I saw him putting his like, oh man, I need to take a holiday for 6 months. I was like, that's a long holiday, mate. Is everything all right?

And he had to, he had to go to a, I think a spiritual retreat to find himself again.

So, oh God.

God bless Harding. No, he's a good man and he's done a great job, to be fair, with those Knights. He's done a phenomenal job.

So yes, yeah, absolutely. Um, no, that's gold, Ed. Look, we'd love to, I'd love to get into the, you know, the, the heart and soul of Ed Armstrong and what drives him. It's, um, like I said, it's inspiring what you and the other boys do. And, um, but I guess with that, on what drives us, I'd love to start with Dad, mate. And, uh, and, and Mighty Pete. And, and tell, tell me, tell me about your dad. Tell me about Mighty Pete, because you speak of him in, in such high regard. And I've had a couple of interactions with Pete. He lives over the other side of the world, of course. But, um, yeah, tell us, tell us all about Mighty Pete, mate.

Yeah, Mighty Pete. Uh, he's gonna listen to this, so, um, shout out to you, Mighty Pete. I'll send this to him as soon as it goes live. But no, look, he's, um, I'll try not to get, uh, too, too emotional about this because often when me and Al talk about, uh, when we talk about Mighty Pete, Yeah, it sort of chokes me up a little bit. I suppose for those that don't know, Mighty Pete's going through a real big cancer battle at the moment and has for the last few years. And he's doing pretty well at the moment, which is amazing as far as all things considered. He's doing pretty well and he's reasonably stable. But I'm well aware that I suppose time for all of us is Pretty limited and we don't know how long any of us have, but I'm pretty aware time with the big man is limited. And as Al mentioned, for those of you who don't know, obviously my family's over in the UK and I'm obviously in Sydney. So that makes it tough to spend time, right? And something we teach with our guys in here, it's making the most of time with family and those precious moments of being present and all these things. And I do my best to try and communicate when I can over the phone and FaceTime, but as we all know, it's not as good as the real thing in person. But I'm also so grateful to you, Alan, and HPF for allowing me to go and visit him. And a lot of my guys will know I've, over the years, been able to work from there for a month at a time. And I'm super grateful for that because those are moments I would never have had, had I not been able to do that with him. I'm truly grateful for that to you and to all my amazing guys in the team that are always so supportive to me in our work team, but also the Mighty Breathers. They're always so supportive for me with going through all of that. But yeah, Big Pete, he's a strong man. He used to be a headmaster of some pretty prestigious schools, I'm going to say. So he's that classic tough guy that a lot of people are pretty scared of when you get called into the office. He was pretty intimidating. He's about 6'5 on a good day and he's a big unit. I always joke that I'm upset with my mother because she's 5'4. Had she been 5'9, I would've been 6'5, but I'm only 6'2, which is still good. But no, we always joke about that. But look, he's an amazing man. He had a really, really tough upbringing. I think I've shared this story with you, Al, but I think I'm going to share it now because it says a lot about him and his character and why he is the way he is. And I suppose why I am the way I am and what he's taught me over the years to just be so grateful for life and the people you are with. Because he, I think by the time he was my age, had already lost 2 brothers, a father, and yeah, 2 brothers and a father by my age. And then by the time he was 50, he then lost his mother and his sister. So there was a family of 6. He's the only one left. And some of those passed away at early 20s, late 20s. And one of them actually was in a rugby game. You know, which, which was horrendous. And, and one of my, my father was actually the, the captain of the team, um, and I hope he won't mind me sharing this because I know this is something, um, he, he sometimes struggles with to this day. But my uncle, so his brother, was actually in the, in the second team for that weekend. My father was the first team skipper, and he actually said, we've got to get Martin— was his name— we got to bring Martin into the squad for this game. Because he believed in him and obviously wanted to play with his brother, but he was a great player as well. And then in that very game, Martin went up for a high ball, just as most people do in so many games, and hit his head in the wrong place. Didn't think anything of it initially, went back. My mum, God bless her, shout out to you, Jules. She was in the crowd watching my dad and Martin, and then Martin went to sit with her. Then he went to have a shower after the game. And then I think he threw up, which is not a good sign when you have a head injury, then went to hospital. Long story short, was in a coma, never woke up. And that's how sort of his— and I think I should know this, but I think he was late 20s at that stage. So yeah, my old man's had a pretty rough time with just family members. And I think he's had to understand the You know, how fragile life can be and how people can come and go and so quickly, so easily. And then he lost another brother a few years later. And like I say, his father as well, so before my age. So, and then he's the only one left and now he's going through what he's going through. But never one to complain, never one to, you know, be a victim to life, always one that's, you know, stoic is the word when I think of Big Pete. And he's always been an amazing leader of our family, strong, tough. He's tough, but also loving. And you always knew he wanted the best for us and still does. And yeah, he's always been there for me. And yeah, he taught me something at school actually, which was be an ordinary man who does ordinary things extraordinarily well. And I love that. So it's the idea of chase extraordinary, be the best you can be, work hard, but also don't try and pretend you're something more than you are. Just show it with your work. And funnily enough, that's what we teach so many of our guys as well. Chase that excellence, chase wanting more, being more, but also take the daily actions to do that and know that nothing comes without hard work. So yeah, I could talk about Big P for hours, but Yeah, he's been an inspiration to me. And yeah, with what he's going through at the moment, yeah, I probably need to do even more to make sure he knows how loved he is from me and from us and our family. Because yeah, as we say, time is short and limited at the moment for him. Or yeah, we don't know how much longer we've got, but we're going to make the absolute most of it. with him. So, um, yeah, I suppose he's the initial, you know, um, guide to me to, to, yeah, to, to, funnily enough, to do the work I do today and then hopefully, uh, be an even better man than him as I grow up. Because I think he'd want that for me as I'd want for, for my son as well. So, yeah.

Yes.

Yeah, what an inspiration, um, Pete is. And, and also Despite the conditions and, and the hardships he's gone through, the legacy that he's building, you know, through others, through you, you know. And, um, no, that was a brilliant share, Ed. What else do you see when you look at Pete? You know, obviously you do get emotional, and that's, uh, mate, that's, that's a beautiful thing. But, um, you know, it's a— he's gone through some, some hard times and, and whatnot, and, and, and more recently. But also, like you've mentioned, it's a miracle when he's having these birthdays and another one ticks over, which is amazing because it's, it's It looks tough, uh, and, and, and hasn't looked great, um, over the time that I've, I've known you. Um, but he stays in the fight and he keeps up, you know, like, what else do you see when you look at Pete? And then, and then how does that also shape your life and your outlook and, and leadership for you as you move forward and lead these men?

Yeah, I think I Touched on it a little bit. I think it's just the— Pete would, he'd laugh when I say this because he could be a little more in touch with his emotions, right? He's the classic old school stoic manly man, so to speak, right? So maybe he could, that's an element where, and we always laugh about it. I say, Pete, you should have therapy, mate. And he says, no, I'm too old for that. So we joke about that. But I think What he does have is that just, yeah, I'm going to be okay and I'm not going to show weakness, right? And I'm sure he has his days like anyone where he has moments where he certainly doesn't feel strong like we all do and would in that same situation. But never shows it, always puts on the brave face and is very real with us. He tells us the truth. So he doesn't hide anything. And here's my latest scan or here's my latest results and things are looking okay. And he might even joke, we got another month, right? But again, a bit of humor sometimes is good for us too at these moments or in these moments. But yeah, I think he's a classic leader, right? And he might be cringing hearing this because he would sometimes say that he hasn't been the best leader at times. And again, not to put words in his mouth, but but I've always seen him as that. And funny enough, a funny story, I don't know if you even know this, Al, but he was actually my headmaster. So I went to the school that obviously he was at, which was an amazing school in England. And I always tell people it was a bit like Hogwarts, right? It was a beautiful big school. We had a golf course. We were very lucky. That's the only reason I went there was because the old man was the headmaster. But people often go, God, that must have been difficult because I'd hate to have my old man as a headmaster. But I actually, I loved it. And think that speaks to our relationship. And funnily enough, he was actually the first 15 forwards coach and I was a forward. And I was the skipper, right? So at school, I was the first 15 captain. And all my mates to this day tell me I only got that position because the old man was the forwards coach. But again, he would say that he had nothing to do with it. He went outside when they were deciding that. That decision. But it was awesome. So we had moments where we'd be doing rugby training together. So he was that leader for me in sports, the leader at home with what he went through and the stoic nature of just, we move on, we push on, we keep going. Life doesn't stop, keep going. He's been married, I should know this, guys, coming on 40 years with my amazing mother, Julie. So they've had an amazing strong marriage. I'm sure they've had their challenges like a lot of marriages, but that's amazing to me. That's inspiring. So when I look at my marriage, I think I want to clock the 45 and beyond, right? So those have been lessons that have been instilled. He's always been there for me when I had no one else. And I don't want to go into this too much now because I could talk for hours, but when I was going through a real mental health struggle and it was really bad 10 years ago or so, I couldn't tell anyone, not even my mom, not my brother, not my sister. But Pete was there and I knew he wouldn't understand, but he was there. And I don't mean that in a disrespectful way because I couldn't communicate what I was going through. So how could he understand? But he was there right away. What do you need? What do you need? I'll get you support. I'll send something over. Because I was in a bit of a difficult spot financially back then as well. Just there. Not that fatherhood's only about finances, but that was something that then allowed me to take the next step. And I just knew he was there, even if we couldn't talk about it. And I'll never forget that. And that put me on a path to obviously then keeping myself healthy. And so yeah, just a strong man's man, leader of the house, and someone I can look up to and will look up to always. And someone that, without getting too emotional, when he's not here anymore will, will be a, a huge hole in, uh, in my life. But I'm gonna make the most of it while we've, while we've still got the big man here. And he's, he's gonna not go down without a fight, that's for sure.

So, um, hope you guys listening to this, you know, the importance and the, the power of fatherhood and leadership, um, and, and, and being the greatest father, of course, um, you know, comes with the struggles and challenges. And respectfully, women and mothers are amazing influences and support for us as well. But, but, you know, it's something that, without being rude, like, I'm not a woman, so I'm not raising my daughters, um, to become women knowing the formula. Um, I'm raising my daughters by example, showing them what to look for in a man. My wife's raising my daughters into women. I'm raising my son into a man. So it's such an important piece for all of you men listening here on on your, your relationships with, with your parents if they're still around, and also your relationships with your children, your son and your daughter. But that's like, that's where there's such a big missing piece in the world today, Ed. Like, men, men just being confused, you know, um, with anything, let alone like women and dating. Like, do I buy her flowers or ignore her? You know, it's like, what's the play? You know, and, and trying to figure out. But, but beyond that, as a father in the modern world, feeling so So, so lost and confused on, on what the standard should be, what's required of me, what success looks like, and, and so on and so forth. So I love to have that connection with, with, with Mighty Pete, mate. And this is a big shout out to you as well, um, Pete. You do craft an incredible email, mate. You know, they're awesome. And you've got quite an— he reminds me not, not of, um, not of Monty Python, but he's got a very, he's got a very particular dry humor as well, which I like.

Yeah. And he's a smart man and he's so funny. And I could share this, even in our WhatsApp text messages, he'll put semicolons in a new paragraph. So I'm like, Pete, it's not a headmaster email. We could do short form. No, but that's him, old school. I love it. And he's a smart man. So he's had to learn a few things over the years. But that's funny because he'll write to us as a family like that too. And we'll all just go, come on, Pete. Just, uh, you know, less grammar. Now we love it though.

That's gold. Yes. Now what an integral, um, pillar of your life, mate. But also like, what, what else drives you? Like, you got— you've mentioned to me, you know, in confidence before, like, I want to, I want to make Pete proud whatever time we have left. And that's, that's great. But also for you as your man, um, yeah, building, building a great life with, with, with Tanya as well, um, you know. But, but I guess we look at family, self, and service and the hats that we wear, but But, um, yeah, I would love to know a bit more about at the core of it. What's, what's like, why, why do you do what you do? And then also like, does that tie into some of HPF? Like what HPF has taught you about, um, even being a husband, um, being a higher performer. And because I love this community, you know, it drives more out of me and, and I love that accountability. But yeah, I'd love to know across your life, like what, why do you do what you do and what's driving that?

Love it. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I'm inspired every day when I, you know, see the messages, see the shares, see the wins. Honestly, I'm, yeah, I don't think a lot of my guys realize, and I try to tell them. I think, I hope some of them, you know, look up to me in a way that I support them on and lead them on their journey. But I think they have no idea how much they inspire me. And I'm not just saying that because it sounds good. It's the truth. Like, when I see Guys like, I mean, there's so many names I could share, but, and I don't know if I should share names specifically in here because some of the guys might not want me to, but oh, just the stories of guys going through what they're going through to then come out the other side and then being the most amazing fathers for their kids when their kids are confused with potentially what they're going through or a separation or it's inspiring. And to watch them, Go through so many hardships and come out the other side head up, looking forward, still with absolute love and the want for their ex-partner, if it's something like a separation that's happened, to be the best for themselves and the best for their future. And then them to be the best fathers and co-parents if that's where it goes. Just amazing. And then putting themselves first, not selfishly, but as we say in HPF, be 100 to give 100. So if the man in this situation isn't performing at the best level he can be, he can't give to others. So then their commitment to excellence for, I've got to be the best for me so I can be the best for my kids, so I can be best for my partner, so I can be best for people around me. So yes, I mean, I talk about this for hours, but I do it because I'm inspired. It teaches me. I learn so much from you, Al, from the other coaches, from the amazing resources we have in here on relationships, Relationships, communication experts we get in. So, I'm soaking up all this knowledge. I'm so grateful for that, but also then able to teach and support my guys and help them on their journey and be a small part of their journey really. And I'll tell them that they're doing all the work. I'm just, again, supporting when they need it or redirecting or pointing them in the right direction if they need that. Mate, have a look over here. What about this? Mate, I've got something that might help. Go and read that. So, that's kind of my approach. And for me, it's taught me so much about, yeah, again, another layer of what a great man is, what a great father should be. And it's inspiring. So I love to be able to play a small part on these men's journeys. When they share a win, I take a little bit and I'm like, I'm so proud that I played a small part in that. And it's amazing. I mean, we've still got men here that wouldn't be here if it wasn't for HPF. I know that for a fact. We've got men here that wouldn't be the father to their kids if it wasn't for HPF and the work that they've done. I know that for a fact. I hear stories like this every day. I know there are kids now out there in the world or in Sydney, across Australia as well, that are having a connection with their father that they once would never have had. I mean, you can't, you just can't sort of measure that, what that means then over their lifestyle, how these kids then will grow up with a strong, healthy, happy father. Phenomenal. So it's, yeah, that's why I do it. And I take inspiration every day from my men and from the work that we do. It's, yeah, it's amazing.

That's a real attractive thing, man. Like I look at, you know, HPF as well and it's like, it's an infectious environment even for myself. Like I think it genuinely attracts people who Just want to see how good they can get in life and they want to be the best they can get. And not like we said earlier in the piece, it's not from a position of arrogance or ego. It's like, man, I just want to, you know, and knowing, having enough, actually it's the opposite. It's having the humility to know I can't be the best I can ever be if I'm just working through one mind, one brain and doing it alone.

Yeah.

And that's, you know, like it's, it's, that's what drives me as well. Like a desire and ambition to to not die wondering and to, to leave this earth putting everything out there. And, and then that then becomes a segue into going, well, man, I love being a member of HPF because I do, you know. And like you said, it's inspiring. You're seeing other men and, and, um, you know, like, and, and a lot of the times, fellas, it's, it's, uh, men will reach out or they're having struggles in the relationship space. But, but also, like, we're a leadership organization that is helping you become more in yourself, which is why when I say this, this is so important for you men to understand. You cannot have relationships without leadership. It's so important. So whether it's struggles with the missus or the kids or your own identity, it's like you can't, you can't develop that without leadership. And that's, that's what I love about this. And have you, I guess, have you learned, um, have you, have you gotten takeaways from HPF that you've carried through with, with Tanya and your relationship Ed, as well as relationship with other people? Have there been key takeaways and things you've learned from HPF in your own leadership that you've carried through and Tanya's benefiting and your friends and your family are benefiting?

100%. Yeah. You've touched on an amazing point there, the leading the man first, which is such a mindset we have with our guys in here. Like you said, they come in potentially struggling or the relationship's really not in a good way. And some of them don't initially understand that actually we're about rebuilding you first, right? Because without any of that, none of the other stuff's going to change. So rebuild the man. That's our sort of motto. And to be then the leader that then can lead the house, lead the home, lead the family. And then the ultimate goal is then the partner in this situation sees that leadership, sees the change with actions, not words. Ownership and owning stuff that maybe they didn't do perfectly in the past, but then moving forward into the future. And then so many times we see then the partner jumps on board and says, well, I'm going to meet him in the middle now with my effort. And then we build as a beautiful family unit. And it does start with the man in this situation. And it does start with becoming the leader that people want to follow, to your point. Because without that, who's going to follow you if you're talking a good game or you're not changing any of the patterns that you know you need to change, or you're saying, Yeah, I'll get to it. Yeah, yeah, I'll be at home at this time. And then you're not. It's just all this evidence that is saying he's not really about this change or he's not leading us as a family. So how can I trust him? And that's something that I have definitely learned in my own experience, in my own relationship, in my own journey. But again, something that I love to teach with the men because it's also something we can control. We can't control the outcome of making someone love us again or changing the way they see us initially with words. It's we can control how we show up today, tomorrow, the next day. We can control how we try to become the best version of ourselves. We talk about version 2.0, 3.0, 4.0. Some of the fire breathers are on 5.0 currently and counting. So it's phenomenal. But again, just a mindset of, okay, so much might have happened in the past. So many things I might have done wrong. So many mistakes I might have made. I'm going to own my part. I'm going to move forward and I'm going to lead with my actions and I'm going to prove that I'm really about this new life that I'm trying to build. And it's hard. It's hard for myself. I'm sure it's been hard for you over the years, Al, as well. It's hard for our guys because they're like, what do you mean? I want her to love me tomorrow, or I want to show her that we can build this family again. And then when we say just slow and steady, trust the process, trust the process, do what you can control, what you can control, move forward, get healthy, get strong, work on that morning routine, start journaling, start unpacking and learning new tools and skills that we have within HPF and the ecosystem, and just slowly show with your actions that you're a new version of yourself. And I promise you, in so many cases, the leadership then allows the family to see that action and then they follow suit. They do. And even if they don't, the man in this situation is still moving forward and is better for his kids, better as a co-parent if that's where the situation goes later on. And the man's moving forward into a future and the men in our environment ecosystem are thriving into the future regardless of any outcome because we can't control the outcome anyway, but we can control the man and their actions and how we move forward and how we lead. So yes, I've absolutely learned that lesson myself. Every day I'm implementing and becoming more in my own relationship at home. And like I said before, the men inspire me with how they deal with situations a lot harder than what I'm going through. And then I think, wow, if he can do that, amazing. I can do this. I can work through this. And that again is the power of the tribe, power of the community that we have, which I'm sure we might touch on as well. But that's the power. When you see the wins, you get the lessons, you are surrounded by people with the right attitude, the right mindset to want more, to be more, and to take full ownership of their own life and the direction of where it's going. That is, that is powerful. And there's no victim, there's no complaining, there's no, you know, he said, she said, they did that. No, it's, I'm owning my part collectively. How do we move forward to be better for our families? Full stop. Amazing.

Great share, mate. Let's talk about the man. And you know, like, what is a, what is a Firebreather? You've got a new member. He's just got his welcome call from, from head coach, Mr. Armstrong. You know, what is, what does he need to know about what he's, what he's walked into? And, um, Yeah, yeah. I'd love for you to expand on that.

Yeah. Well, the new guys that are listening to this will know on the first call, I will say, welcome. You've won the lottery. You're in the winning squad. You're in the best squad in the company. Welcome. And we can't wait to have you join our ecosystem, our community of the Mighty Breathers. That is first and foremost. I said that 3 years ago when we weren't winners. So I've always believed it, but now I can actually back it up with the recent results, which is phenomenal. But joking aside, it's, yeah, I'll tell 'em, you're in an amazing place, you're in an amazing supportive environment. And my direction to them is trust the process, get stuck in, get uncomfortable, reach out to the people around you, and you're gonna have all these men now on your back supporting you, pushing you through when you need it most. And it's difficult for a lot of guys, right? 'Cause I understand. Some of our guys will come in and go, I'm not really into social media. Well, firstly, it's not social media, but a lot of guys will say, I don't really like connecting with guys. And again, I'm not being a smartass here. I understand that. It's a very real fear for some guys, right? Because maybe they've been in a life before where they don't really share a lot about their life and their story, or they don't want to because maybe it's not in a great place at the moment. I completely understand. But for guys to get the best out of this experience, that's part of what we do. You've got to connect with the men. You've got to support the men. You've got to— I always talk about the give and take. You've got to give so that when you need to take, you can. The problem is when people don't give, they find it very difficult to take because they think, well, I haven't given anything, so now I'll just sort of sit in the back. But then I'm suffering sort of in silence. And I'll tell my guys, if you do that in here, you might as well not be here. And I mean that with the most respect possible because you're not utilizing what we've got So, it's just like we were when we were on the outside trying to figure it out on our own. So, get involved, get stuck in, put your intro post up, let us know where you are. Again, sure, on so many of these podcasts, people know, but we've got state chats. So, we've got guys all over the country. So, I'll put my guys into the state chat right away. They'll then connect with guys that might be down the street from them. Fantastic. And then, they obviously come into the The Firebreathers ecosystem as well. And then they've got 100 men that are just supporting them from day one. And it's energy, right? How can you not be in there and say, wow, I want to be a part of this and I want to add to this. And that's what I tell my new guys. I say, you are adding to this culture immediately one way or the other. Do you want to add to it and build it up? And we lift. I talk about rising tides lift all boats all the time. Or do you want to slow it down or slow us down? No, get involved and we move forward together. And I also talk about how we have a, I hope I'm allowed to swear, but a no dickhead policy. So there's no dickheads, right? There's no people that are in here going, oh mate, yeah, don't share that, or a victim, or I've got this, or complaining. No, it's all, here's the issue, here's the problem, here's what I need help with. How do I move forward? And then you've got 30 blokes giving them a call within half an hour. Mate, this worked for me. Try that. This course was fantastic. This audiobook I recommend. Mate, go and have this conversation with Ed. Ask him about this. Boom. And then we move forward. I mean, phenomenal. So I tell my guys, you've got me on your side, but you've also got 100 other men. Why would you not utilize it? Some of them can help the guy that might be going through something that someone else has gone through better than I can. And I'll openly say that, mate, there's someone in here that might be able to support you better than I can in this moment. So go and ask for it. And then we've got the learning materials and everything else. So when you put it all together, that's why it works. But only if—

Powerful culture. Powerful culture, man. And what are, like, they sound like solid, like any other non-negotiables? Like this is the standard for the breeders?

Yeah. I mean, it's, I mean, I've touched on a lot there, but it's do not go quiet. Ask for help when you need it, but make sure, like I touched on, you're giving as well. So you're sharing the wins, you're giving positive feedback to other guys when they share. I want 20, 30 comments on a new member post, not 2. So I'm very open with the guys that that's how we build the energy is that, you know, we support each other because there's nothing worse than when I see a new member put his intro post up and it's got 2 comments. Not good enough. So I'll go and tell the boys, I'll tag 30 of them in there, go and make our new man feel welcome. So, and the older guys that have been here for a while know that, but it's very much give and take. Give wins, recommendations, shares, support, emojis, love, comments, and then take when you need to. Don't go quiet, ask for help. And then get on the roundtables, get on the lives that I do multiple times throughout the week. 10 minutes on Mighty a day minimum. I talk about Mick and Apo, shout out to you, show me your streak and I'll show you your future. Beautiful. So the idea that in Mighty we've got a bit of a streak, so we track that. If my guys aren't on Mighty for 10 minutes a day, then what are we doing, right? And the idea then is you're consuming. So you're reading, learning, listening, then you go out and consume in the dead time, I call it. So when you're in the car for an hour, when you're on the walk for 45 minutes, that's when you're listening to podcasts like this. That's when you're listening to those courses with our amazing experts or the Monday charge-ups. And that's how you then bring 4 or 5 hours into your week of HPF time without Right? Because a lot of our guys are busy, if not all of them. Where do I find the time, Ed? How do I fit this in? That's exactly how you fit it in. The only guys that lose in the breathers and in HPF are the ones that have been logged out for 3 months, that don't ask for help, that go quiet, and that don't meet us in the middle, full stop. You do that, you can't not win in here. And I'm that certain with that that I'll say that to my guys. So, those are the non-negotiables really for us. And that's why we're we're the number one squad in the country. I mean, it's pretty simple stuff, but—

In the World Swim, when Ed goes to England and set up base, and we've got Eric, who's, uh, German in the Titans, which actually he runs all of his coaching now in German. So the Titans are learning a new language. Always got Team Eurovision. I used to call you boys when we go to offsites.

Yep. Team Eurovision. We love that. Yes. No, but Eric, yeah, he's going to open up in, uh, in Dresden, Germany, and then, uh, I'll open up a headquarters in London, England as well.

So yes, the boys said we need an Indian Al with red hair so we can sort of tap into the, that market. And now, but, um, the, uh, the last part you touched on is important though. Like, guys, this isn't, we're not here just to talk fluff and like, you know, like, like Eddie's right. When, when there's alignment and follow-through together, there is a 100% strike rate of success.

Mm-hmm.

And people might say that across the board with any service. I get that, but it's, but think about the depth of the success that we're having here. Think about the quality results. So yeah, of course anyone could say that, Al, if I count my calories and macros and listen to my trainer, I'll lose 2 kilos of fat. Yeah, of course. But what we're talking about is the, the 100% success rate in Family, Self, and Service with the system that HPF has created for you men in a personalized way is monstrous. That's a completely different life. Um, but that's not the case, uh, and that's just being real. Yeah, so we're not here to, to, to fluff up HPF either. There are men who come in and they, they come in with good intentions, the right reasons, and then they drift. But also, it's so easy to drift too, man. Like, Ed, like, I— one of my best mates, it wasn't a message, it might have been on socials, I can't remember, but he, um, took me nearly a month just to get back to him to wish him happy birthday. Uh, he wished me happy birthday, sent me a little video of his kids, and took me nearly a month to get back to him, man, because you just, you just get pulled, you get busy. So for a lot of men, like you talk about, spend 10 minutes in the HPF community, that sort of stuff. It's so important, not for us to nag, but men, it's not even yourself, it's the world that will pull you apart and pull you to drift into whatever the world wants you to see and consume as opposed to you being laser-focused on what matters most in your life and nothing else. But walk us through that, mate, I guess, because that is tough. There are men who come into HPF and it could be a month later, it could be 7 months later, they drift, they fall short. How, you know, how do, um, because you wear your heart on your sleeve, Ed, but like, you know, how do you work through that? It's, it's a tough thing because we can see the prize that HPF can be for these men. We see the results. And, and I guess take that, we'll take that into a couple of shares, even if you use first names, mate. I know you said Mick, but, um, yeah, mate, it'd be awesome to get some shares. But firstly, like, Yeah. How do you work through that? And what are some of the struggles that, that you see with these And, you know, um, so how do you handle that? These men who just drift and, and fall away, there's not many, but it happens. But then also, um, what does that mean for them? Do you know deep down as well that it is hurting them?

Yeah, it's, it's, it's tough. It is. Um, and you're absolutely right. It's the, it's the world pulling you away, right? So whether it's work and you get really busy again and then, ah, Ed, I forgot. Sorry, mate. I haven't been on for 2 weeks, right? That's fine. We can readdress. I mean, it's not ideal, but we can readdress. But you're right, when it's the— I click on, because my guys know I'm pretty dialed in with who's doing what, when and where. I can see Bill hasn't been on since July. And I think, okay. But obviously, we've had touchpoints before then. I'm not just waiting 4 months later to then message Bill. But we can see all of that. So, you know that the world's just pulled them out, dragged them out, and they've got busy and life's got busy. And again, There's very real things that happen in people's lives. So this isn't me just sitting on a high horse going, oh, come on, mate. Work's a bit busy. Get back involved. It's like, no, big things are happening for some of these men. They're going through financial separation or they're going through a really tough time with not being able to see the kids or they're having a really difficult mental health time, right? Or maybe they dip back into old really bad habits. habits and patterns. And I'm thinking alcohol and things like this, very real things that happen and also that are brilliant at pulling people out of the thing that they know they probably should be doing, which is often the opposite of what they're doing. And it's hard because I can say 1,000 times, mate, we need to get rid of the booze. We need to fucking kill that there, mate. We need to not do that anymore. We need to get back involved. I need you to meet me, mate. I'll call you 4 times this week if I need to. I can do all of that, right? And I do sometimes. times. Mate, I'm here for you. What else do you need? How else can I support? But here's why it's so difficult, that the man has to walk the path, has to meet us in the middle. Because I always joke with some of my guys, I'm not a magician. We're not magicians. We can't do it for you. We can absolutely support you and we'll do everything we can, but you've got to meet us in the middle. So sometimes it's the man needing to pull themselves out of the hole, whatever it is, or just the drift of life and the busyness of And what's the first step? I tell my guys, jump back in, put your hand up, and let us know what's happened. More often than not, it's a message, fellas, I've been off for a month. Sorry, work happened. It got crazy. I did drift, but I'm back. Would love some support. Guess what happens? They get 4 guys saying, mate, I'm on your back now. I've got your number. I'll call you weekly if I need to, right? So what happened there? You owned up, took ownership of the issue or the challenge. And then you bring people in to help move you forward. What's that? That's accountability, isn't it? Fundamentally, that's what men, that's what I, that's what we all need, support, right? Because when we're on our own, what does the mind do? It's brilliant at saying, HPF doesn't work anyway. Ed's rubbish. Al doesn't even like you. The men don't care about you. No one wants to help you with your problems. That's what our minds do. It's brilliant. Well, it's not brilliant. It's brilliantly clever, but it's exactly what we need to override and I know that's absolutely not the thing I need to be doing right now. And it takes a lot of courage, confidence, courage to say, I can hear that, but I know that's trying to protect me, keep me safe. And what I need to do is the opposite of that. Because I know Ed does care, Al does care, these men do care. And if I don't tell them what I'm struggling with, how can they help me? So, and again, we know this, forget HPF for a minute. What do men struggle with in life? They suffer in silence. And I know women, I'm always conscious, of course, women have their challenges too, of course. But I mean, in what we're talking about here, men under 45, the biggest killer of men under 45 is suicide. That's a fact. You can't argue that. And why is that? I believe so many men are going through things on their own and they don't feel they can share or they've not been taught how to share. We talk about breaking the generational patterns in here. Shout out to Aidan. Chain breakers, legacy makers is kind of the hashtag he has with us, and it's so true. So we're trying to break the generational patterns. And again, it's no one's fault that maybe our father and their father, they didn't deal with things like we do now, and they weren't taught to be able, or maybe they didn't even have the opportunity to open up. Who would my father's father open up to? It just was a different world, right? So then we learn that, learn behavior that man up, be tough, fucking suppress your emotions, don't tell anyone, you gotta be the provider, you gotta be the man of the house and you can't show weakness. And my mindset is opening up and showing vulnerability or telling people you're not perfect and that you're not okay is actually the most courageous thing you can do and the strongest thing you can do. And I believe for so many men it's the missing piece. Then if we get that right, then it opens up the whole world to be like, okay, Wow, I'm not alone. Other people suffer with this. Other guys are going through this. It's not just me. And then what happens when you don't feel isolated? You then have hope. And I think hope for so many men is the precursor or the first step to change.

Wow.

Because then you can see a bit of the light, right? And then the tunnel's very far away and the light's very small, but it's enough to give a bit of Then you get people on your journey with you. Then you get tools. Then you get more support. Then you understand more awareness. Suddenly the light's now very bright and things seem a little bit more clear, and then we can thrive into the future. So I don't know if I answered your question. I went off there, but I think—

No, it was great insight. It's a delicate balance too, man, between tough love and love tough, right? The order or knowing when to be a little bit of Viking or a little bit of panda for these men. And that's And that's the, that's the risk I'm concerned with men as well. And it's, it's no discredit to, um, breathwork seminars or the 7 chakras, but I mean, you know, like it's just the whole holding space and, and, and new masculinity and all this sort of, it's like, you've just, just got to be careful with that because it's like, you know, we, we, we as men, we need that leadership. We need that direction. Only a man can keep another man in check and accountable, essentially. And we've got to be conscious that we're not just quote unquote holding space and then nothing happens. And then on the flip side, we're not here to put it over men or pin them down or hold them down and tell them how bad they are or just toughen up as well. So it's this balance between knowing when to be a good sounding board and hearing them out, but also when to be firm.

Yeah.

And, and push them and, and, and not call them out, but we, we say call them forward and call them up. You know, it's not about calling out, it's about calling forward and calling out, whereas calling out is like isolating something and, and driving that towards the man's identity as opposed to calling him forward and up to step into who we know he can become. And, and I did a Monday charge-up the other night, not as good as Ed's closing loop ones, which are game changers, but, uh, but yes, it was one of the key things. For that was, uh, one of the questions was like, what's the thing you're most proud of? And, and, and my answer was, what I'm most proud of in terms of like my personal accomplishment is, is, is me being able to see or help these men see what I can see in them. And it sounded a bit like a bit, bit of a corny answer, but it's true. Like what, what I'm most proud of is to have the team, Ed and the coaches and the, and the people in the ecosystem to be able to help these men see See what finally— because you see it, and, and that's what I want to go next, Ed. You see these men, it's like the epiphany, the unlock. You just see their eyes change. You're like, yes, now you can finally see the version of you that I've seen since day one. And I love that, man. Like, I love that. But that doesn't come— it doesn't come easy. It doesn't come with holding space and just talking about feelings. And, and that's hard for these men because they're, they're so distracted. I get why the pendulum swings back the other way, because we've just been hardened battle warriors for thousands of years. And, and now all of a sudden, you know, it's, it's But then how do we know? Was I there 1,500 years ago? Was I in that little mud hut looking at a part of a family, a fly on the wall watching this father actually have an emotional moment with his family? You don't know that, right? He might have. That's the thing. It's like people think they were just bloody berserkers and Vikings going around thousands of years slaying people. I guarantee you there would've been men that would've shed and had emotional connection with their family. Like, like, you know, when you see the lion and the cubs are around and they're teasing him and they're pulling at him, you'll see that every now and then. You'll see that the king of the jungle will be there and you see him sort of play with them. I don't know if you've seen those videos, but you'll see other times where it like hits that point. He's like, all right, get away from me. And he pushes the cubs off and then the mum comes over. So like, hang on a minute. You got the king of the jungle who his only thing is reproduction. Well, that's what appears anyway, is reproduction and kill and eat, yet you'll see that there's these moments of affection. And you see that crazily enough with these lions and people, with obviously they're well trained. Um, well, they've got a relationship. So it is a, it's a delicate one, but I guess I'd love to say like, like to just to get, you answered it, I guess already, but just, um, if you want to expand on that, Ed, on how do you, how do you, how do you gauge that difference between, hey, here you man, not a holding pattern, but just this too shall pass, but also, hey mate, Like nothing changes, nothing changes. I'm going to call you forward on this one and say, no, let's think about this another way and let's do this action. And then I'd love you to take that into, um, yeah, whether you, whether you— The guys are happy with just first names or if you want to share their full, like, like Mick and Apo, um, and he wants to do a plug for his coffee roasting business, but not today, Mick. I'm sorry, mate. In case you're based in Brisbane, here's his mobile number, but, but yeah, mate, we'd love, we'd love for you as just maybe just close the loop on that, on that judgment for the man, like on when to be what for him. And then also, mate, I'd love to hear some of the wins and shares.

Yeah.

If Kyle and a few of the other guys would be awesome.

Yeah. Yeah. So firstly, I totally agree with that sort of balance. It's a fascinating one. And some of the guys might not know, but I actually, I don't know how you know, and, you know, I've been studying studying the more in-depth counseling work. So it's something I started my master's in counseling a little while back for the very reason because I was like, hang on, I want to bring more depth and I want to bring more of this holding space, I suppose, in a way, but also have the skills and the tools to be able to do that as well on another level, right? To develop myself. But it's so fascinating that so many of the guys, And again, just to make very clear, certainly a place for counseling and therapy. So I'm certainly not saying that for certain people at certain times, but so many of our guys have come to me, to us saying, I tried this style and it just didn't work for me. Now again, it can work for a lot of people and maybe it was the wrong counselor or whatever, but I think the very reason that you are getting at, some of them will come going, I just felt like I talked about my issues for an hour or 2. But I didn't really feel I got many steps, right? And again, not all counselors are created equal, and I'm sure there's some amazing ones out there. I wanna make that very clear. But for me, that's what I love about having a bit of the balance of both, that I can absolutely have the skill or the ability to be able to really hold a man in that space, whatever you wanna call it, if he's clearly in a really, really difficult emotional spot. But then I love the fact that the balance with the sort of coaching and counsel is that you can then say, mate, here's exactly what you need to do. I'm not gonna pretend I have all the answers for you, Bill. This is exactly what I think you need to do right now. Go and do this. And the guys, from my experience, love that direction because that's what they're actually looking for more often than not. It's like, give me, give me. And then I'll openly say, mate, it might not work and we'll reassess on our next call and we'll unpack that. Great. What did, didn't. And I suppose that's the value of very good coaching is that's the idea. Try again. Let's go this way. Let's pivot. But then also to be able to go to the ecosystem and say, there's tried and tested stuff here. Don't overthink it. We've got our habits, we've got our routines, we've got our morning and night. If we can front load and plan the day, we've got our 21 Foundations, we've got our Winter Wars. That's something we've obviously just finished. Follow the bouncing ball, follow the steps. Don't overthink it. I think that's the thing where myself included, we overthink things too often and we go, yeah, but I want to do this. I should do this. I know I've got to do this. I know my business needs to be better. I've got to work on my relationship. I know. And it's overwhelmed, right? Complexity is the enemy of execution. I love that. So, how can we simplify for these men and make it so simple that this week you do this, this, and this? Go. Let me know how you get on. And more often than not, they add more naturally, but that's the focus. And then, like anything, it builds the momentum. You know, it builds the action and then they start to build the confidence and the belief and all these things that we could talk about for hours as well as to why that works. And then suddenly they feel different and things start to make sense. So I love the balance of both. I suppose over the years, I'm fortunate that I've been in this space for a long time. So I feel like I've got good experience in knowing when a man needs certain things, when he needs a bit more of a gentle approach to to listen and support, but then never leave a call without, here's your next steps, let's go. And I think that's what so many of our guys need. So yeah, it's a fascinating balance. And yeah, sometimes we need to be the chief or even a bit Viking at times to say, mate, we've had the same conversation 15 times, nothing changed. If nothing changes, you're just repeating the same patterns. You're telling me it's not working. What have you done? Oh, I've not really tried that thing. and try it. That's it. Let's go. Go and attack that today. Get back to me when you have. And sometimes they need that, right? And then the added accountability for the men as well. I want you to go and communicate with the guys that you're doing this, that this is what we've decided. And then you get 20 guys on your back as well. And then suddenly you've got that drive and that energy. And then they come back, mate, it worked. I fucking didn't do anything. I just helped you see a bit of a direction that you couldn't see for yourself or just prompted you to go and try that thing one One more time, then it works. And then something clicks. And you're right, when you see that in the man, and I've seen that so many times, the penny drop moment or whatever else you want to call it, it's amazing because you're right, I finally have the confidence now or the certainty. I've always had the confidence, but the certainty of knowing that in this environment, if you do X, Y, Z, you will win. You can't not, and you'll become that version that you to become. And then there's always layers, but when you see the man get it, fuck, it's awesome because then you know what that means for their family and their kids and their partner and everything else in their life. So yeah. And there's so many examples of the men in the Mighty Breathers and across the company-wide as well that I can touch on now if you want, or we can close that loop on that first question, so to speak.

It's, um, it's brilliant, mate, like seeing you and the coaches work and just having those key unlocks with the members where, like you said, that the journey is a little bit different with, with, with each of them. The patterns are very similar when you just— it's that the thing finally clicks. And because that's the thing, fellas, like you never get— you never get to nail it and knock it out of the park right away. You'll try a few things and then, and then you'll need to adjust, or this might not land as well as it did, or, you know, even with your own routines and structure, it's just going to be slightly different. Some men will wake up Some men will go to bed late and that's the structure. Some men are FIFO, some are night shift. And so it's, it's a, it's, I don't know, mate, it's something I never get bored of anyway, when you're talking about the, the key strategies and, and, and how, how men can just keep, just keep taking the action. It doesn't mean that you're robots. It doesn't mean that you just base your performance in life on production alone, but, but also it's, it's, it's an important piece when it comes to, um, Um, being able to reflect and measure change, because if you haven't done anything other than shift your state, your emotions, or your feelings, or consume only, then it's very high likelihood, man, that nothing will actually change or, or move forward, you know? But, um, yes, absolutely. I love it, mate. Um, what, what, walk me through some, the time's gone quick, man. That's crazy. But I'd love to, wanted to go through a couple more things if you have the time, but yeah, walk me through, um, walk me through some wins though.

What are some amazing wins that he's I mean, honestly, I was just jotting some names down here. I mean, unbelievable, countless. There's so many, but I think of David. I hope he won't mind me saying, I don't know if I should say full names, but David, the great man, you know who you are. Phenomenal. What a journey just that he's had over the year. I don't even know where to start. You could go anywhere, you know, from the weight loss that was just a byproduct of all the work that he did, that was once clicking well over the 120 kegs, I think I've got that right, and now down to a healthy 85. That wasn't even his focus, right? But of course, we know that what does that then mean for them with their energy, with their life, with the kids? You can't put a sort of price on that, so to speak. Being more present with the kids, amazing wins with the relationship, massive wins in business, just phenomenal. And then now a real leader in our team, just just leading the way for the guys and not trying to sell them anything, just sharing his experience. Here's what happened for me. Here's what I did. Followed the steps. Wish you all the best. And again, to be surrounded by guys like that, like I said, that's more impactful than a live video that I can do or a post that I can do because it's so real for the man that's just like, wow, I can see his journey. I'm where he was and now look where he is. It's phenomenal. And that's that hope piece again. Kyle, again, you know who you are. Phenomenal. Just put a post up in the Firebreathers about locking in his new house where he's going to have with his kids that he can have everyone there. And, you know, he has been through the absolute, you know, ringer for a while. And again, some of these guys as well, they won't mind me saying, had some real challenges with alcohol and maybe some other substances over the years as well. Clean, you know, a year, over a year like that. And again, David as well. And again, what does that do for for them with everything else. So, some people come in thinking this is a health and wellness program. It's absolutely not, but it's such a big part of what we do. Why? Because if we're going to rebuild the man, they have to be fit, they have to be strong, they have to be healthy, they have to get rid of the vices that are destroying them. And it's not easy. It's certainly not something you just click our fingers and it's, yeah, we'll fix that overnight. But it's absolutely a lot of the work that we do. Ryan, again, you know who you are. Phenomenal. A man that went through a really difficult time with a relationship. challenges and then is now thriving into the future, the best dad to his kids. And he shared a video with us the other day. He said, I'm feeling unstoppable. Pretty powerful with a guy that's been through a lot of stuff that would break a lot of people and openly says that the HPF and the work that he's done with us collectively is the reason he's doing so well. Aiden Charles, I can say his full name because he's had 4 more podcast appearances than I've had. We joked about that the other day. But what a man he is, and go and listen to his story. But he's a mighty breather that's an inspiration to us, looking better than ever. I don't know how he does it. He's not human, that bloke. Mark from over in WA, phenomenal health changes, relationship changes, now a squad leader in the team. Brad, you know who you are, fucking phenomenal, one of our great leaders, amazing journey. Nath, Liam, our mate Greg, the list, I literally could I could name 80+ of them, just guys that have taken massive action, trusted the process, owned their stuff from the past, and said, I'm going to change and I'm going to be better for myself first and then for my family. And they absolutely are. And there's 50 more I could name off the top of my head, but I won't. So apologies if you didn't get a shout-out, boys. You know I care about you. But phenomenal, phenomenal wins. And they're all inspirational to me. Truly, what they're going through, what they've dealt through in the face of adversity, head up, smiling, let's get better. Fuck awesome.

Yeah, brilliant. Love it, mate. How good, how good. Now it's been awesome having you on, Ed, and, uh, and I hope you guys have gotten a lot of value out of this. Uh, you know, I, yeah, it's something we love, live and breathe every single day. And, you know, I feel, feel very blessed and lucky to do this, this kind of work and then see men like yourself, Ed, leading the charge. And a long time coming, mate, but I'm glad we finally got on this episode together.

Yeah, it was awesome. Just a shout out to the breathers, make sure this one gets more comments and stars than Eric's and Harding's. Okay? That's something I want to make sure we get. No, but joking aside, it's been awesome. I love these conversations, Al. And yeah, hopefully there's some golden nuggets. If there's, like I say, on a Monday charge-up when I do it. If you get one thing, I know you probably say the same thing, if you get one little golden nugget or one thing that makes you think a little bit differently from this episode and it changes a slight trajectory of your life or direction, that's a great thing. Or it's a light bulb moment or, ah, yes, I've heard that 16 times, but now suddenly it makes sense. That's my hope from this episode with you. But it's been awesome. I could have gone for another 2 hours. One take wonder. Let's go.

We'll have to do another one, mate. Definitely catch up to Aiden Charles, but, um, no, that's unreal. But no, great. Well, look, any, I guess any final, final thoughts or food for thought or wisdom, mate, that you want to shed light on, uh, either the members, non-members, or just in general, mate, um, as we, as we wrap this one up?

Yeah, I think there's, um, I don't know. I mean, there's so many things I could share, but without going on too long, but, um, I think that the biggest thing is, I mean, it's funny. I made a few notes before this, obviously, and I, I have a few things that are standing out now. Blissful dissatisfaction, which is something I share with my guys all the time, and aggressive patience. And I've said, look back to move forward, celebrate the wins and the progress. So those sort of 3 I'm gonna, I'm gonna end on, because I think something we're not great at as guys, even in here, is, is forgetting how far we've come. Like, honestly, it's a huge thing I talk about with my guys. And I'll often be on a call and they'll go, yeah, Ed, it's not gone really well this week. I've had a horrible week, or I'm losing across the board, mate. And then I'll say, well, Slow down. Take me back to this same situation 6 months ago. How did you deal with it? What would you have done? How far have you come? Right? So simple as a question, but it immediately takes them back and they go, oh, fuck, you're right, mate. I would never have dealt with that. I would've been so much more aggressive in my communication, or I would've had 20 beers that night because I would've felt like a failure, or I would've done this, this, and this. And then I go, well, so just remind me what you did again. And they go, oh, well, I was really calm and I communicated as best as I could, or I went for a walk. I was still 6 weeks off the booze and I took the kids on a dadventure that weekend. I said, what are you talking about? Right? So we're so quick to think that we're not winning or we're not doing enough, which is why all of us collectively as coaches, we're always telling our guys, share the win, share the win, share the wins. Why? Because it inspires the other men, but also it makes you reflect and have to reflect on your own wins and the progress and the growth. So that's one. So I always talk about, I stole it from somewhere, blissful dissatisfaction. Blissful in the pursuit, gratitude, all of these amazing emotions that are uplifting and empowering and to celebrate and enjoying the journey as cliché as that is, but it's true. And then the dissatisfaction is, hey, I can be more and I want to get to the next version and there's plenty more to do. But I love the two together because it's like, don't forget one without the other. Because I think too often we're blissful and hugging the trees in the forest, but we're not moving. And respect to everyone that does that, that's a place for that as well. But then we're not moving or we're just always dissatisfied, always angry. I'm never enough. I'm never winning. I'm never enough. I've still got these problems. I haven't achieved this. And it's like, mate, you can actually have both. And then that ties into the aggressive patience, which is be aggressively patient in the sense of action. Move, move, move. One day, 1% at a time. We talk about with our guys, but be patient, Because it's gonna take time. You've had 30 years of bad habits or old patterns, and we think we're gonna figure it out in a week. We're not. And I'll openly say that to my guys on call number 1. So mate, give it time. I know you don't get it yet, and I know you wanna have the family back together tomorrow, or you wanna be in the best shape of your life tomorrow, or you— aggressive patience. We're gonna move, we're gonna take action. Time goes a lot faster than you realize, but we're gonna be patient in the pursuit. And then I suppose, yeah, look back to move forward, celebrate the wins, which ties into that first one. Because so many of the members I know in here now are winning, and you've got to be so proud of yourselves, but also stay hungry to keep moving forward. But then even to guys, I'm conscious there'll be non-members listening to this, be proud of any and all little movements and little wins you're having, because that actually fuels you to go and create more wins. Because if you're always in that negative space of I'm never enough, mate, you're going to give up. Why would you give up? keep going? You wouldn't because there's no fuel that's uplifting and moving you forward. But if it's, I feel I did something today, I'm going to do something again tomorrow, I'm going to do something again the next day and I feel good about that, but I've still got plenty to do, you'll do well. And nothing changes if nothing changes. So shift something because if you keep repeating the same thing, you're going to get the same result. So join the fire breathers today. Yes, you know what I Amazing.

I'll need to sign up for the Fire Breathers, mate. I guess I'm part of all the squads, but, uh, it's, um, you know, it's, uh, yeah. I've loved being a passenger today, Ed. It's been epic just to unleash you, mate, and let you, let you drive this, uh, very powerful stuff, man.

I hope it's, yeah, I hope it's been really valuable to, to, to the guys and anyone else listening. Um, yeah, because like you always say, Al, you know, the, the, we need, we need strong men. We, we need strong humans, but we need strong men. We need strong men leading, leading their homes and leading their families. And obviously, that's what we do here. And yeah, you guys matter and we need you. And I always say that to my guys, like, what we do really matters because we need strong men leading at home. We fucking do. And that's just that. And if we're going to do that, we have to look after number one to become that leader. Because if we don't—

Yes.

You're not leading anyone if you can't lead yourself.

Yeah, no, agreed, agreed, man. Awesome. Thank you, man, for giving the time. And Ed, thank you so much for giving the time, mate, and joining us today. It's been an epic episode. Can't wait to listen to it, um, you know, and, and for all of you men to take it and apply action above and, above and beyond, like everything that we've shared. And big shout out to Mighty Pete and Jules and the family back home in England as well.

Thank you.

But, uh, but it's been epic, mate. We're very, very blessed. And like Awesome.

Thank you. Thank you for having me. Awesome. Really enjoyed it. Cheers, Al.

Thanks, guys.

Cheers.

If this was an episode that really resonated with you, I thank you for giving the time and effort and energy to yourself, but also to yourself through the vessel and the vehicle of High Performance Father. We've got a lot of wives listening to these now, if they don't mind the occasional F-bomb. You know, I appreciate all of you for Spreading the message, and if there's one thing I could ask, I'd love it if you could just give us a five-star review or spread the love. Share this message with those who you know need to listen to this. And there are a lot of people as men we're proud. We're not too open to go, "Hey, I'm hurting. I need help." And putting our hand up. But sometimes just a subtle way in their own privacy, whether in the car or the comfort of their own home, it really works when you just send a little link through. Hey Bill! Hey Bob! Hey James! Look, I think you might. I think you might enjoy. This. I'm not— I'm just going to leave it there. You do with it what you will. But, you know, hit this link, man. Just listen to one or two episodes and High Performance Father and Alan, see what he has to say. I'm telling you, man, that is one of the greatest ways that you can impact. And some of those men out there you think are okay, you're saving lives. You really are. I've seen this so many times where you just putting that little subtle message, putting the feelers out there, the amount of men, suicidal or not, the amount of men who are on the brink of breaking down It is phenomenal, the ripple effect. This isn't my legacy, this is our legacy that we have together by spreading this message and living and breathing the message as well. So thank you, appreciate you again. Hope you enjoyed this episode, but by all means, share this with someone who, in your gut instincts, in your intuition, you know, you're like, I think they need this, I think they should listen to this. Please, mate, don't hesitate with that. Pull the trigger, make that decision, send it out to them, and you'll be amazed at what you get back. Thank you again, and I'll see you soon.

Thank you.