292. Al's Insights #15

If you love the podcast and you want other valuable tools, resources, and coaching that will ignite the fire in you to go to the next level, then look, make sure you jump on the other various platforms we have. Absolutely, our YouTube channel, uh, Alex Ranieri, and in there you'll find the opportunity to have different coaching and resources and tools and tips, including our podcast episodes in video form, which a lot of people get value from too. But make sure you have a look at everything that we have to offer. High Performance Father is something that is a phenomenal movement that I'm very proud of. It's something that I love in this message that continually grows, and it grows in more fashions and ways than just the podcast. But I appreciate you tuning into this podcast with a couple hundred thousand downloads now. It's just incredible. So thank you very much. Enjoy this episode, but make sure you do go and use the other tools and the other valuable resources that we have. Well, it's been a few minutes between drinks. Here we are, an episode of Al's Insights. Big shout out to, uh, Mr. James Dynan. He's a very new member actually. I think he only joined HPF Coach a few weeks ago, but Thank you, Jimmy, for giving me a kick up the ass. You know, it's funny, we've got a lot of different things I've been working on in the background and amazing, amazing projects and, and really an evolutionary push for serving the men inside HPF Coach, which has taken a lot of my time. Not to mention little Flossie, man. Can you believe she's 7 months? 7 months today, the 14th of June. That is, uh, 14th of November was her birthday. That's crazy, man. 7 months. 7 months. She's saying dada, and I think I'm the favorite, but I think more so I'm the favorite because I'm the food truck. She looks at me and she's so excited because she It's like you never know what flavor is going to come next from this guy. Is it a little bit of steak that he's cooked? There's a bit of chicken, a bit of pasta, a bit of some of his oats that he's having, a little bit of the froth of his protein shake. But nonetheless, I've already got her in the gym doing, um, yeah, um, doing some split systems where she's hitting the upper body, lower body twice a week. So she's developing quite well for someone who can't even stand up yet. But, uh, yes, yes, Jimmy's like, oh man, like, where the fuck are these podcasts, mate? You know, what's, what's going on? It's, um, it's, uh, yeah, I'd like to, I'd like to come up with something, um, quick-witted or, or something to paint a joke, but, uh, no, Jimmy, well, well said, mate, and absolutely, um, something that I've missed doing as well, guys. You know, it really is, uh, you know, it's, it's one, it's great to know that, that these are valued. If Jimmy is the only one who listens to this, we, um, this is, I feel like I'm Richard Mercer. 106.5 Love Sock dedication. We'll get Jimmy in, let's phone him in and we'll co-host this thing. But no, look, I can see all the data on the backend. I mean, hundreds of thousands of downloads, man, or half a million, but it's, um, it would be over that now, but since last time I checked, but yeah, man, it's, it's, um, there's something I love doing for you, man. It really is. It helps you see, and I think it's, I think it's cool, like, like each of their own, but for me, it gives you guys real insights into where I was. At that time that was, you know, like, what's on my mind? What's going through my world, my life? And I really love sharing that. Not that you're here to pull up a chair and follow the fucking story of Al. Please, please understand that. And I'll say that till the day I die. It's not a mask. As soon as someone can do this better than I can, mate, yours, take it. And when I say that, I don't say that arrogantly. What I'm saying is like, even the ads, being the quote-unquote face, like, I'm not the face, man. Like, I might be one of the point men who just pushes this hard, of course. But no, the faces, the people. And one thing I'll say, not to compare, but just having, I guess, good feedback from the team and whatnot on the genuineness of HPF Coach, not because they have to, but because they want to, is one of them was saying to me, looking at the website, they're like, man, like, I look at this website and, and what is it? It's the brotherhood. It's the men embracing. It's the fathers. And then you look at other websites of quote unquote personal development or professional, whatever you want to call it, and it's the big fucking man standing in the middle with all this amazing stuff around him, right? It's so funny, man. Again, not to compare, each their own if that works for you. And I'm not denying the impact that, say, someone like Tony Robbins has had. And I know he has different offshoots, but maybe that's where he's had to stick. He's had to land and stick with his name being the brand. I get that. So I'm not throwing shade, but it really is about all of you men. So I love doing this and I love sharing my journey, my story to inspire you, not to say, how fucking great I am. So these 4 one-liners, you know, that these, these Al's insights I want to share with you, it comes from a place of wisdom that is continually absorbed and learned and reminded of from the men. Not so much me sitting down just going, hey, what are some cool ideas that I can come up with because I'm just fucking amazing. I hope that, I hope that comes through, you know, really, really genuinely, men, because it is, you know, I'm, I know, I know I've got skill sets. You all do. Awesome. I mean, you're right, respectively. So, so what? So my skillset right now and here is serving you. Awesome. Great. So let's, let's let that do its thing and focus on that alone, serving all of you and all the while showing such transparency, which I really value as a, as a leader. You're all leaders, but I really value transparency because it's, well, it's easy. It's so much easier. Like how I operate. I mean, of course I might do cutesy words and names and stuff with Florence. I don't need to do that to middle-aged grown men. You know, the personas might shift accordingly based on my 90-year-old grandmother, my 7-month-old child. However, with you, man, ah mate, how I am personally is exactly how I am professionally. That's when I say it's easy. Look, I'm not, I don't, like I, I don't try to be anything other than I am. Of course I try, I try hard and I perform and I work very hard for all of you, but I don't try. I don't have to try to be something I'm not. So I love sharing that. I love that openness. And look, given I haven't had a podcast for a while, let's, let's start with a, um, 74-minute opener. We'll do a 74-minute intro, so we've got another 69 minutes left, and then we'll crack on into the first one. But that's the hardest part, man. I need to do more of these. I need to do more, man. So much, so much has happened in, in just, I think, a month it's been since the last podcast. So much, man. Crazy, crazy. So I've got to get these downloads going. I've got to download what I see, what experience, what I learn. And I'm, I'm the, I'm the sieve. It's, it's all just, just getting it. Is that, is that what you call when you have like the powdered sugar stuff that you, you pull that trigger and it trickles? Like, anyway, all the stuff that comes into me, I want to share and distribute with you, man, because I'm just so plugged into, into you, into all of you, the mission, HPF, and, and I love that. It's awesome. So definitely want to do more, definitely want to do more. And whilst there's so much I want to share— Winter Wars at the moment, you know, tribe of 500 men just, just crushing and, and pushing hard and challenging each other and doing catch-ups and meetups in person, online video calls. It's just, it's so awesome to see, you know, with AI and tech, you know, we're entering at a stage where, you know, AI can be an amazing enablement tool, but also like all things, there comes a cost and a price to pay. So I really do see HPF Coach stepping up and into a really not events-based business. I don't look at this as a business per se, but a real events-based organization. Why? Because fellas, in case you haven't noticed, like we're not far off. Being able to completely replicate someone and making it extremely difficult for you to know whether they're alive or not, real or not. Like, yeah, when I say alive, of course I'm alive, but what I'm saying is like there's enough software in place right now where this could be, this could be AI. And that's, that's, man, that's crazy. And you might use some of the things and it's always correcting you. It's always trying to polish or sharpen you up into saying the perfect words. Like, oh man, give a fuck if I keep going around a few roundabouts a few times to make the message land for the man. That's human connection. That's, the human touch. So because of that, uh, what, what I love most is the legitimacy and the realness of, of this, this mission, this brand that we all represent, being a high performance father. And physical in-person catch-ups is just going to be a given. We're pushing hard. We did over 500 last year. We're pushing hard to get over 1,000 this year. But I do see that in the next couple of years HPF will, will likely facilitate anywhere between 3,000 to 4,000 events. That includes collaborations and of course ambassadors and that sort of stuff, whether it's cafes or different organizations that we can, we can collaborate or or, um, or co- or like partner up or pair up with. But I really do, like, men all over the country, and then we have some international as well, but all over the country catching up most weekends. Like, you can get into the thousands pretty quickly, but that, that's going to be epic. It's gonna be so cool. But I guarantee you, man, by the end of this year, like, you, you would be able to, if you're smart enough, fabricate a video of me saying all sorts of stuff, and you wouldn't know whether it was, whether it was actually me or not, which is, which is pretty crazy. And that, that's why I talk about the truth always wins. That's why it's so important to, to just be you and show you one of our HPF tenets. That's why it's so important just to live with truth and integrity, you know, because all, all AI is doing is exposing, giving opportunities, sure, but also exposing other things. It's just, it's just an amplification device at scale. So if you're a man, so I'm talking about people who could mimic and copy and, and, and fabricate you know, falsehoods from, from, from anything, anyone, anywhere on the planet, right? Which comes with its own dangerous threshold because sooner rather than later, um, everything will be crazy and a drama. Then everything will be full of shit. No one won't know what to do. And then everyone will unplug. And then, so it's, it's, uh, interesting times, but that, that, so, so what? So what if that's how I, where are you doing that in your life? You're putting up a mask with your wife, not having the tough conversation with her. Putting a mask on with the children and/or not sorting your own shit out so that you're not giving your children the true version of who you are. You're giving them the reactive version that is, is doing them a disservice through poor leadership when you could have gone upstream and developed yourself to be able to handle them despite how fatigued you are because of who you are, despite what the conditions demand of you. So I talk about IO and everything, but even for us, like My question is, how real are you? What sort of agreements do you make that just aren't so? They're just not right. They're just not for you. Yet you make them subconsciously or through acquiescence. Like, I don't really want to, but fuck, man, I got no other choice. Like, well, you do. Always. So, um, let's dive into these one-liners, but, but yeah, we'd love to do more. We'd love to do more. I'm really big on that, us connecting. Looking in the flesh is awesome. We'll talk about this a bit with the members. I wish we all just lived on the same street, the same suburb. I used to have that dream when I was a kid. I'm sure a few of us did. But imagine that, a whole neighborhood of high-performance fathers. That'd be an epic, epic neighborhood, man. But, but also, I've got to give credit where credit's due. Technology's given me the leverage and the ability to reach and, and serve men all over the world, and that's something I'm eternally grateful for, you know. I really am. So let's dive into this. The, uh, the first one Al's insights, funnily enough, on who you really are, who you are at home when you're exhausted. And man, I've been exhausted lately. It's been— May was one of the wildest months I reckon I've ever had. Not necessarily bad or overly successful, just crazy. Crazy in bandwidth, being stretched, being pulled in all different directions. Really, really like proper, you know, it's not just Florence, it's like the other three. It's like, and I'm not crying, poor me, because I've got 4 kids. That's my choice. And also it's all hard. Like a lot of you men who have 1 child, that's tough, man. How do you entertain them? How do you keep them engaged without just submitting to them using technology and your child disappears? And but then they don't have an equal to, to counter their energy. And, you know, 2 kids draining each other's energy playing against it. We've all got it tough. But yeah, it's been crazy though. Numbers are numbers. Who you are at home when you're exhausted, that's who you actually are. Everything else is marketing, you know. And I say that in a bit of a cheek, tongue-in-cheek kind of way when I say the word marketing, but it's true, man. Like, your character is revealed when your energy is low, not when you're high-flying and, and you're crushing and winning and, yeah, the whole anyone-can-fly-a-plane-that's-on-autopilot type stuff. Like, you'll have moments where you're just in the zone, man, and that's awesome. Like, and that's a collective of typically things that have lined up beforehand, which has then led to that moment. But, but it is, it is really revealed when your energy is low, because when you're low, there's— it's not that the tolerance, what you do or don't tolerate, it's who you decide to be at the core when everything else is positioning you to not have to choose, to not have to choose the right path. So, so who do I choose to be when I'm tired, when I'm fatigued, when I'm struggling, and And when that happens, that angry dad or that dismissive dad or the distant one who runs away or whatever that character is that is revealed when your energy is low, you're snappy, you're submissive. This is why we talk about being the chief. It's so important. Like, man, I've been so exhausted. My kids have just been, oh mate, crazy sometimes and just fights and all that every day. The other three fighting every day and Hey, you know, it's, um, it's, it's tough, but there's times where I'm like, hang on a minute, if I, if I absorb this— and anytime I'd like discipline my children or, you know, or hand out a consequence and whatnot, I always try and not let them see because they need a specific energy. But whenever I walk off, I try and walk off and just sort of smile, laugh a little bit, shake my head, and yeah, that doesn't belong to me. Kids, you know, hashtag kids, all that sort of stuff. I really try, like, I really try, and I do that, I do that very successfully, but I really try and visualize, um you know, like, who I am at the core, being detached from this as, as two separate energies that I'm coming in. So, so who you're at home when you're exhausted, that's who you actually are. Everything else is marketing. Is it's just looking and going, well, when everything's against you, when the chips are down, what that is, fellas, isn't even the actions you take, and it's not even the decisions that you're making. It's the way that you think. It's your belief systems. These kids, man, they should be fucking in bed right now. What's going— it's like, well, hang on a minute, hang on a minute. You got, you got a 5, a 7, and a 9-year-old. They've got a newborn, that they're excited over them. She's not newborn anymore, but they've got another baby. They love to gee up, and then she wakes up again and she's all pumping on adrenaline or something, and then the kids run off and Crin's stressed. And what are your expectations? What were you doing when you're 5? Well, when I was 5, I was getting in trouble trying to look up the teacher's dress all the time. Apparently I've got limited— full disclosure, I've got limited memories of that. And but yes, I do remember like going to principal's office, him breaking a ruler in front of me. A bit old school, that sort of stuff. Like pretty, pretty brutal. Certainly didn't get whipped with a horse whip though, that's for sure. But yeah, he was, he was pretty rough. And then I'd run off, I'd go under, hide under the demountables and find all different toys and tennis balls and stuff. And so, so I'm like, man, what, what are my expectations of Roman? What, I expect my 5-year-old son to just be a a perfect model of standards in this household. I mean, he's 5 years old, man. So your character's revealed when energy is low. Sure, absolutely. Who you are when you're exhausted— that's, fellas, that's why doing the work on yourself, which is one of my other one-liners, when you don't have to, doing the work on yourself when the conditions are good or stable or the environment, you know, it might be early morning or in the afternoon or lunchtime or any bit of work, you know, personal development, reading, walking, exercise, nutrition, doing all that stuff when you have everything on your side matters. Because you're reinforcing at your subconscious level your standards, your values, your temperament, nature, how to behave, how to operate when the chips are down. So we talk about being the chief and all that sort of stuff. It really matters, uh, doing all that stuff, because when your energy is low and you're exhausted, like, who you actually are comes through, and that's where you'll be tested at a subconscious level. How many thousands of reps have I done as the chief where, you know, Corinne's getting angry and amped up and, and yelling, and the kids are getting wild Who do I come in as? What's my default? And don't get me wrong, there's temptations. Sometimes I'm like, oh man, I'm just gonna give these kids a kick up the ass and give them a red button and smack them. And anytime that enters my head, you know exactly what I think of, man. Every single time that enters my head, we're like, mate, just get the fucking belt out, right? Is I think of my father. And that's exactly what happened. So these, these run— oh, don't get me wrong, I, I absolutely deserve the kick up the ass, um, most of the time. Like My father was an unstable man, but he had a pretty, pretty powerful Viking in him, the hot-headed Italian that he was, and still is in a way, bless him. But you know, it's, it's that. I'm like, shit, man, this is like, this is like a, this is like a 30— like, he didn't do that when I was 5. Let's say I was 8, 10, 12, you know, at the peak of being rebellious as well in a way to your parents, um, while still having such a young childish-like mind, not quite understanding Um, you know, the things you do, like I called my mum a bee once, which is just not acceptable, mate. And, uh, the old boy let me know it, that's for sure. So I'm like, man, this is like a 30-year-old pattern. So fellas, this is why it matters that you develop yourself, your belief systems, your way of thinking. We talk about the identity cycle, right? You know, taking the right actions will shift your thoughts, shape your emotions and your belief systems into who you are. Whereas a lot of people stay stuck on who they are. They never question or challenge that. That becomes their belief system they hold on to, which shapes their emotions, which drives their thoughts, which repeats the actions. Identity cycle is just reversing that. I did an episode on this like probably bloody 6 years ago, but happy to do another one again in the future if you boys want. So that's a big one, you know. Um, a couple other king things that I've got that tie into this, like men most men manage their reputation better than their reality, right? Um, how do you speak to your wife when you're tired? How do you respond to your kids when you've had a bad day? You know, is it alignment and congruence that you have with your family in private, or is it the performance and how you're seen in public? You know, like, it's, it's, it's— success means little if the people closest to you experience a different version of you than the world does. Yeah, so these are a couple of offshoots. So these one-liners, I try and just have a couple of anchor points as well now. So who you are at home when you're exhausted, that's who you really are. Everything else is marketing. So have a long hard think about who you actually are when you're tired and say, well, what are the changes I need to make? What are the triggers I need to fuck off? Which are going to be focusing on at our Perth event in a couple weeks, which will be awesome. Um, and then who do I choose to be that I can action now and start building reps now as him? As the chief, who he operates, so that when I am exhausted, this is who I am because I choose to be this. And that's another run on the board, another success. When I tick that box, I don't burn everything to the ground or run away and escape, and everything's aligned. So that's it. For what it's worth, I think it's a good deep thinker for some of you men, you know, like, who are you when everything's stacked for you? Sure. Who are you when everything's stacked against you? Yes. Energy, no energy, like, and being, being that man that's on the level despite whether things are going terrific or horribly wrong. Next one, drift, man. We speak about this a bit in HPF Coach now, drift, and not being a drifter. But here's the thing, like, it's so subtle. Drift never knocks. It just quietly lowers the bar. Day by day until average starts to feel like an effort. Man, that last part, can you imagine? Like, it's just— and I don't know if that— I would say that has happened to me. Of course it has. It's happened to all of us, that last bit. But given my nature and intensity, driven through sports and now into family life, business, the gym, I wouldn't say it's been a common thing. But yeah, like, how would you feel, man, when the average stuff starts to feel fucking hard? That is just horrible, mate. Like, that that would have to be one of the worst things. But it all comes over time. It's not like, okay, it's not like a shark attack. One day I had a leg, um, my left leg, now it's gone. I don't have two legs anymore. I've got one. It's not like, it's like, no, no, like, that's gonna severely change your life. But drift, yeah, it never, it never comes knocking. It says, hey, do you want to be part of this? You know? He doesn't just quietly sneak around the back of the house, finds a window that isn't locked. Like, he doesn't come in as your mate, doesn't come in up the front and say, hey, this is who I am, this is my intent, my agenda as well. Nah, motherfucker sneaks in, man, like a cancer. And it just quietly lowers the bar. And day by day, you start to feel yourself slipping. And all of a sudden, you think you're high performance, but then when you look at your track record and what you've done you're like, oh wow, yeah, I got some money, or yeah, I train in the gym a few times a week, or yeah, you know, I spent quote-unquote time with my kids. But man, are you really living up to all that you can? I just want to sit on that for a second. Like, and it's not me pointing the finger, and anytime I hold a mirror, I'm standing there with you, brother. I'm holding it, man, with you. Like Are you really living up to all that you can? Are you really living up to all that you can? You know, we talk about doing your best, of course, but what we also try and focus on, like the Spartans in training, I guess, is bettering your best. Where can I find those 1%ers? What else can I do so I can say and stand there proudly saying yes? I'm living life to the fullest and giving all that I can. A couple of Osho anchor points for this. Nobody wakes up and decides to become disconnected, overweight, or mediocre. You know, like, no one does. Like I said, most people who are well below average think they're well above average. Crazy. Businesses drift before they fail. Marriages drift bit by bit before they break. Bodies drift before they become unhealthy. Like, think about gaining 100 grams a week. It's 5 kilos a year, man. You leave that unchecked with life, kids, blah blah blah, that's 15 kilos in 3 years. Pick up a 15-kilo plate at the gym. That's not light. That's every step. It's every breath. That's your internal organs working, working that overtime, working harder to sustain an unused energy source, 15 kilos worth. Standards erode through small compromises, and the danger that we face is an adaptation to lower standards. You know, show me your standards, I'll show you your life and what awaits you. All that sort of stuff. Like, you might hear a few clichés around, you know, um, people don't rise to the level of their goals or dreams, they fall to the level of their standards. All this stuff exists for a reason. It's true. But that's the danger, man. Adaptation, the wrong kind. You know, and a lot of men might think that they need breakthroughs, but you don't need breakthroughs, man. You just need to stop fucking tolerating that drift. Stop tolerating the shit that doesn't serve you. And I'm looking forward to sharing the fourth point with you, but it really is, it's not about trying to fabricate chaos. You know, you can have failure and adversity and challenge in very stable environments. The gym is a perfect one. Business is another one. Relationships is another one. I mean, even having tough conversations and healthy conflict and what you think your wife will leave you if you, if you arc up and fucking stand up for yourself a little bit, like, mate, don't be so afraid of loss. Fear of Fear of loss is the greatest fucking destroyer of all things good in this world. There is nothing that supersedes that. Fear of loss as a root cause which drives all behaviors and actions that pull men away from their integral center point, more often than not in marriages, 100%, fatherhood, absolutely, business, their own relationship with themselves and their standards physically, mentally, spiritually, all comes from a fear of loss. All of it. And it's not about weakening your position or posturing to others or to allow others to get one up on you. It's exactly that, your adaptation to lower standards, which, yeah, of course, not only makes you less attractive, but less competent, less intense, less everything. Like, you just— more isn't grinding either. More is this vibrancy, this vitality for life where you get up and you carry yourself forth. And, you know, like, I'm here nice and relaxed doing this podcast, but then I might carry a bit of fucking vigor and get after it in a certain area or go to the gym after this. Like, it's, mate, it all has its place with that flux of energy. But, but fear of loss is what drives people to just pull away from their own center. The things you know you need to do to maintain integrity, yet you forfeit that. You wonder why your wife becomes a fucking monster. Now, respectfully, looking into the future, that's a hard thing where they're so emotionally driven and erratic in the now. Not their fault. One, how they're wired. Two, the conditions and circumstances with the children, the environment, where life might be as they enter the middle age as well, perimenopausal stuff. And three, fucking weak leadership. Where's the man driving forth stability and certainty for them? They need that too. So stop tolerating the drift, men, because it's not just you. It affects everyone else around you. Whether you know it or not, depending on how much they're counting on you or not, it doesn't matter. It affects everyone. I don't know what I look like through the eyes of my children. And my wife and all of you men. I might look a certain way, I might feel a certain way to all of you, but one thing I promise you, man, is I fucking produce. And regardless of whether it's you men, my wife, my children, Stella, Roman, Florence, my dogs, keeping them alive, playing with them, although man, that beagle, man, I gotta tell you a funny story, but we'll see how we go for time. Man, that fucking thing, mate. He just, he must, he must get, he must either have shares with the local vet. He's an investor. There's fucking something going on there, man. I'm telling you this thing. We, I need to come back to it. Okay, man. He's, he's on the board or something. He sits there with his glasses upright with, with, with a little white coat on. He's got his little pin badge and he gets the quarterly reports and they look at the margins and he takes divvies. I'm telling you, mate, that thing, the money it cost me, that beagle, fucking 16 years old. Should have died like 8 years ago. Um, that, that drift, man, it's, it's such a killer. Like, don't, don't let it, don't let it pull you away, you know. And, and again, I'm not saying I should be idolized, and I'm not a world beater by any means in certain areas of— wow, when I say certain areas, specific industries, niches, all that sort of stuff. But if I look at the area of family, self, and service, hey, guess what? Every year when I reflect, I've gotten better in all three. Well, that's all you can ask for, right? But then how long am I going to live for? Well, I'm 40, 41 in August. I've got, you know, let's say 39 years left at the average age for the men, which is 71, 79 to 81. Okay, cool. So what's my rate of improvement then that I want to keep moving forward and going and growing with? Urgency? Yeah, maybe. I wouldn't use that word. Maybe devotion to squeezing the fuck out of this beautiful life that we have and getting all that I can in servitude and fulfillment and contribution and reward, not all that I can in money or, or experiences, but in value, in impact. That lights me up. I mean, if you do that enough, like, I don't think you'll go hungry either, personally, but maybe that's not the case with some industries, but here to serve the men and the families, that's, that's awesome. My heart, my cup is very full. So knowing that others know that they can count on you to produce at any given time, even if you don't. That's powerful, man. That's leadership. Leadership isn't always action. It's the potential of action and the trust and buy-in from those around you. Third one: most men aren't tired, they're avoiding one hard conversation and calling it stress. Yeah, when I talk about stress in life, like stress and pressure, there's always the potential for it, right? But for me, I look at it two ways. I'm like, I can either be passive towards this. Don't worry, mate. Pressure and stress-free doesn't exist. Not for a, not for a man or a middle-aged man with, with some level of ambition, which I'm guessing you all are. If you don't have ambition, surely you wouldn't listen to this. The, so, so I can either have it passively or active. Passive stress and pressure, I have no idea where it could come from. Problem, which means I have no training or preparation to be able to handle it. I don't know when it will come, and more often than not, because I've been passive, my abilities or capabilities to draw from a level of resourcefulness outside of what I'm exposed to is usually slim to nil. But, and that, that's, that's how most of the world works. Or I can be active in, in pushing. How can I help another man? How can I make sure I stay committed to my Honey Enhanced time this week, even though shit's hit the fan with the kids, or they've had an injury, or this has happened, I've got to spend extra time with work, or I'm traveling this week, I'm going to Perth, or this, or this, or how can I make sure I still honor that with my wife? And that's, that's, that's stressful. I gave my word, I need to follow through on it. That's pressure. Hey man, you've given your word, you better follow through on it. So when we talk about like most men are tired, of course you are, but when we talk about burnout as being tired being a precursor to, it's typically not looking after yourself as an organism and losing, lacking, forgetting, or having no purpose. So when you're typically tired or you're stressed or you've got stress and pressure and it doesn't move, like think about stress and pressure as water. If that's not flowing, and you don't have some sort of water mill or something, or you're carving out the stone upstream or up the mountain and you're shaping how the water flows top to bottom. If the water's stagnant, like most water gets stagnant, turns rotten. But the water's, well, yeah, maybe, yeah, I guess most, but some obviously aren't. You can have nice lakes and whatnot, but yeah, I mean, you look at the most stagnant water, you're like, shit, that's been sitting there for a while. That, that right there, like when you're not moving it, man, it's just, it's gonna end badly. So, so, so it's all of your doing, like the, the hard con— like I mentioned, the hard conversation. Hey, this is happening. I'm not happy in my marriage. This is happening with the kids and my wife and I aren't aligned on how we discipline. This is happening at work and, and, and my boss or this coworker or this employee of mine needs to know this or that or these clients or looking at your body and your health and not checking, like, your pro— as you get older, checking your prostate. I mean, I'm looking at my hand right now, man. I got a mole that's changed color, so I better get that looked at. And not I better, like, I need to plan and book that shit in. Avoiding the things— ah, it's just, it's too much stress, man. I got too much going on. I need to do a skin check, right? Avoiding these things and either calling it stress or leaving it. Is, is not creating any flow in your life. It just sits on you like heavy, dirty, stagnant water that you can't see clearly through. And that's dangerous, man. It really is. You know, truth can be painful, but that will create freedom. So truth of position in the facts, truth of, um, your desire, what you're looking for. So the truth of yourself and your own expression. Yeah, of course, that could be tough, man. That could be tough. HPF Coach being born out of an extended desire to not only fix but improve my relationship with my wife from the infidelity that I had, my children, which was one at the time, but having more children, tough journey with IVF, uh, my business and our family and home life being broke, or if anything, actually in the red because the business and the gyms I ran were very unsuccessful. And man, like If I didn't— and there's been so many times early on in the piece that HPF Coach should have died, but every single time I got naked, stood up, acknowledged the truth, expressed the truth, and faced fucking facts, man, I've got to tell you, fellas, the opposite is the river stream flows, baby. You feel so much lighter, so much freer, not because you've just dumped something onto someone else, but because— although that will happen, and that's a mistake, that's poor leadership— but because it then allows you to do something about it. Okay, it's out in the open, I'm clear. Oh, is that it? Is that it? All right, let's fucking move. Oh, is that it? Right, it's heavy. All right, let's fucking move. I remember in 2019, right, so we're a year on HPF and I was doing a session. It was a hot seat. There's about 300 in the, uh, the online coaching group I was a part of, which was with, um, one of my earlier mentors that was helping me, um, build HPF RDM at the time. He's like, hey, jump on a hot seat. Okay, cool. I'm not, definitely not anywhere near the top, one of the bottom feeders in 300 business owners all watching me live on a live session with him and him just breaking down my entire business and the economics. Asking all these questions. I was dodging around all these different questions with certain answers. And then it got to a point where I just heard this little voice in my head that said, mate, just fucking bear it all. Just tell the truth and just own it. And I just, I heard that little, I heard that voice and I was like, you know, hey man, nah, look, let's, let's go through this. This is where things are at. This, this, this, this, and this. And just went through it all, bare naked and all. And, uh, whilst I felt relief, what was more empowering was what we then did next. It's like, okay, well, let's crunch all these numbers. All right, cool. You've got 2 months tops, between 43 to 60 days and you're dead. That's it. Business is gone forever. All those fathers you want to help, all those people here, this is in 2019 around September. That's it. And I was just sitting there and we're just both sitting there staring at each other and everyone's watching this live video. I hate these people all over the world, the mastermind we're in watching. But then it was like, cool, well now you know the facts and the numbers. Let's fucking do something about it. I'm like, oh yeah. It was so weird. I was like, it's like you think that like facing up to the truth is the end of your life. It's like, no, no, no. Doing that, did you forget that you can actually fucking do something about it? I know this might seem silly, fellas, but it's like that, that not, not anymore, but back in the day that used to hit me as well where I'd just be like, like, like frozen, like a deer in the headlights around the truth and sitting on the problem instead of first bringing up the tough conversation. It's not just about truth, but bringing up the tough conversation, like eating the frog first, all that shit. All those books are talking about, it's like, it's— yeah, you don't have to do the hardest thing first, start of the day. It's just willpower and, and discipline, all that stuff. It's like a battery, it goes lower as the day goes on. And that's all true, but, but it's like, yeah, man, like, did you forget that once you bring to light the biggest problems you have, you can actually do something about them instead of just storing it in your fucking head and letting it eat you alive, man. Cause that's what it was doing to me. That's what it does. And then you get busy, you get busy and you get distracted. You just keep doing stuff. Just keep doing stuff. It's like, man. So now for me, I know it seems a bit sick in a way, but for me, I go hunting for it. I'm like, show me the fucking problems, mate. Show me. It's almost like maybe it's a control thing. Maybe it's a, maybe it's, it's my security blanket now becoming that sentinel, that sniffer dog where I'm like, mate, show me. Me? Where's it at? And not, there's got to be a problem somewhere. Like, I'm not, um, what do they call— what's that word? Like, I know, not, not cynical or pessimistic, but, um, uh, I can't remember the thesis. I'm lost for words, would you believe it? But, um, but someone that's like, uh, oh, not, um, man, I can't, I can't think of it. But someone that's not, not insecure, paranoia, paranoia. Yeah, not like, yeah, it's not like I'm paranoid or anything, um, but I'm just like, man, let's show me. I just love conquering. Where's the next dragon to slay? Let's go, baby. So, so, man, like, whether you, whether it's tired or stressed or anything you're masquerading around as, as, as a symptom, it's like, no, no, what's happening is you're not driving towards the truth of a position in certain things— family, self, and service. Having that hard conversation, that tough decision, that tough exploration of the facts, that tough realization of where you are right now, that tough assessment of what you need to do to get from where you are where you need to next. Like, that's all that is. I'm telling you, man, please trust me. The fucking faster that you acknowledge and honor that, the faster you can move forward. Like, if anything, take that, please. I know this has gone a bit long for an Al's Insights, but I hope that serves you well. And the final one, the life of a champion. The difference between the— I did a live video earlier today, actually, in the community about this and Winter Wars. The boys are doing so awesome, mate. So much activity. It's the best, mate. I love seeing it. The difference between the life of a champion and everyone else is what you do when you don't have to, and the standards and consistency of that which you do when you don't have to. And a couple of key things here, like, anyone can perform under pressure, anyone can rise when the stakes are high, you know, but champions, like, they win those invisible moments. And it's not just whether people are watching or not, behind closed doors, or the extra rep, or that date night like I mentioned with Corinne, or, or, you know, special time with the kids, or a planning session around work, or hitting that gym session, or going to bed a bit early, or the hard choice that no one else knows about. Man, I'm about to make so many, fuck, so many tough choices. It's almost like you can see why I think universally, um, yeah, not, not just business owners, that's not to just put it in, but yeah, business owners, but people of a position of leadership that have other people's lives. It's like, it's a, it's fucking tough, man. There's that universal respect in leadership because you're like, ah, I can see why guys got some of the members are staring me about some of my earlier courses in HPF Coach, how I look so, so young and so vibrant. And, and less frown lines and, and less stressed. I'm like, yeah, that's because you guys stress the fuck out of me, mate. This is hard work, healthy, serving you men. Uh, well worth it, well worth it. The victories are all yours. Uh, I don't take the credit, but it's hard work, mate. I'm looking so fucking old, but is that because of my kids or because of you men? Um, jokes, better. Yeah, it's, it's, it's It really is the life that you're building in the moments where you're not necessarily getting the accolades, you know. I just want, I just want to shed light on that. Like, it's like, and I spoke about this in the session with the boys about having like a line. On the left-hand side was a dash, and that was death. On the right-hand side was just thriving, your great champion life, champion life. Go 1 millimeter from the left, from death, and you're alive. So 1 millimeter from the left, which is death, that's one end of the line, one end of the bar. You're alive, but you're not living, you know, struggling, battling, all that sort of shit, surviving. And so when I say the difference between life of a champion and everyone else is what you do when you don't have to, like, sure, you don't have to watch TV, uh, you know, you don't have to turn the TV off at 11:30 at night and you've stayed up and you've wasted fucking 2 hours of your life. Mate, you can stay up till 2 AM, 4 AM, 6 AM. So it's not about trying to compare your standards and your metrics against sloths, you know, and than being a slob in life. Yeah, yeah, no, I chose not to have that fifth Tim Tam even though I could have had the whole packet. Yeah, how fucking noble of you, mate. Bravo. Round of applause. It's not about that. It's about, and it's why that second part's so important. It's about what you do when you don't have to and the standards of the what you're doing and how often, consistency. Of what is it you're doing that you don't have to. Man, I'm in great shape. I could probably get away with, with, and it, there's always a price and a cost either way, but I could probably get away with sharpening up the nutrition a little bit, maybe training, maybe training once a week and maybe I'd lose a little bit of muscle, but I could, I could probably get away with that one all-round whole body workout. And, but also I'm like, yeah, but I've got the capacity to train 3, 4 days a week and I want to keep building muscle and improving my body. I want to be the best 41-year-old version of Alex that the world or that this Al has ever seen. And I want to be the best 42-year-old and 52-year-old and 62-year-old. And also there's so many benefits, as you guys would know, with pouring in your own cup and physical, mental outlet and all that sort of stuff. The emotional, you know, rebalancing when you're just going in and lifting weights or running or training. And so it's looking at life and going, well, what are the standards? And that's why we talk about like the FORCE method and setting goals and your version, future version of who you want to become and start with the end in mind. What would this man be doing? What does he look like? How's he being seen by those around him? What are the experiences that are happening with him and his wife, him and his kids, him and his business, him and his clients, him and his family, his mother and father, his cousins, his brothers and sisters? How's this man carry himself? How does he speak? How does he operate? And then work back from that and go, okay, well, what are all the things? Because you hear all those people who are successful, it's not the great ideas, it's me not doing all the shit that everyone else does that just pulls them away. I gotta tell you fellas, like in a world with tech and sedation distraction more rampant than ever before, like the temptation to pull away from only what matters in your life is more truer and realer than ever before. It's such a threat. It's such a risk. It's such a risk, man, to you, your life, the legacy you can leave in those around you and the life you can build. Like right now here in real time. So, so don't conform. Like average isn't a median. It's not person number 4 billion and 1. Let's say there's 8 billion people. 4 billion and 1, he's above average. No, no. Like probably like 7.9 billion people in the world operate at this level. And I'm just spitballing, but the averages are, yeah, 99% of the world is not, and 1% is, or 95% isn't, 5%. Either way, it's stacked heavily in favor of most people in this world just look for actually not doing what they could do when they don't have to. So do you want a champion? Do you want a championship life or do you want the life everyone else has where you're measuring yourself? Oh yeah, my car's the newer model or, you know, my, my grass is a little bit greener and well mowed or, you know, I've got this extra lounge out in the backyard. Like, who gives a fuck? Or do you want to actually just build an exceptional life and not worry about material things but actually build a life of leadership and, and loving and serving yourself, your family, with, with a real mission, with a purpose in this world that, that matters, not just one that provides. Difference between the life of a champion and everyone else is what you do when you don't have to. But it's not just that, because you could do lots of things when you don't have to that are just subpar level. It's the standards, man, of me operating that fucking higher level. To become more. That's what I love about HPF Coach and the tribe, because you're going to have those head noises and they're going to try and beat you down. And you form these agreements, you make these agreements in your mind that, that this is okay, I can tolerate this, I can cut corners there, I can do that there, I've earned this here, I've justified that there. I've got the same, man, don't you worry. Like, I'm pretty good with my nutrition, but I'll still enjoy a treat here and there. I've got half a tub of Ben Jerry's in the freezer right now. He's been talking to me half, you know, half the time on this podcast, and he's going, hey, how are Oh, don't forget to do that workout, man. There's plenty of carbs in this. You can refuel. You don't have to have bananas. Just come have the rest of this tub, mate. I'm waiting for you. The Tonight Dough, it's a good flavor actually. But yeah, motherfuckers in the freezer talking to me. So, but no, no, not today. Maybe when I come back from a little trip away with the fam. So, um, can't wait for that. North Queensland dads coming up to see you. It's going to be good fun. But ultimately, fellas, it ends with you. Like, you're the one, and this is why I talk about truth and the other things, like, you're the one that defines what a standard actually is. Not me. That's, you know, I'm not here to point, I can judge actions, sure, but I'm not here to point the finger and say, you have to do this. You might do whatever the fuck you want, but just know that you're the one who owns those, those standards. Hope this serves you well, man. I know it's a bit longer for an hour's insights. I've really wanted to expand a bit more. I've actually had to pull myself back a bit, but I am Um, now I love doing this for you guys, and it's well overdue. Just a final recap on who you really are when you're exhausted. That's who you actually are. And I used to love that, that little voice when I was struggling with like footy or CrossFit. I'd be dying, mate, doing burpees, box jumps, whatever you name it, handstands, and just dying on the CrossFit floor in a competition. They're just about little voice going, come on out, you can do it, mate, you can do it. Yeah, do it for your family, do it for your kids, do it for your wife. Like, just, oh, they're just really good. Like, you got this, man. Just, it was awesome. Was really good. Like, that at the core, at the core, I'm just, you know, what's that saying, you know, like, you should try and be a child inside for as long as possible, but be as old as possible but as childlike as possible, something along the lines of that, you know, being young at heart. And but at the core is that it's still that little boy. I've got that little boy who just, just, just loves the world and the people in it and just wants to see the best in them and so, so positive, so optimistic and and I don't know, I don't know where that came from, you know. I certainly didn't have a silver spoon life, but that, that's who I'm at the core. I'm a massive panda at heart, but I'll give you the fucking Viking because I know that's what you need. I'm not going to be selfish. That's selfish of me if I was a panda just to try and make you feel better with a softer energy to make me feel better. That's selfish. But yeah, I am a massive panda. I'm gonna just love people, man, and families and kids, and I want to see, I want to see you guys get up win, you know. So when I'm exhausted at the core, when it comes to disciplining my children, a lot of things, it's, it's an, it's, it's an automatic lever that just chuckles on the inside and just, kids, you know, shrugging the shoulders, kids will be kids, all that sort of stuff. And, um, that's helped me so many times when the other side of some of the patterns, when my father's disciplined me rightfully so, I've just wanted to discipline my children as well. And I'm a large, strong, powerful man. And, you know, geez, do I really want to hurt? You know, I give him a little pat on the bum, of course. Little pinch, I'll call Mr. Pinchy with Lillian if she's naughty. It's like the, um, what is it? I don't do Chinese burns or anything, but you know, like, yeah, but man, I'm not going to unload on my kids. I'd fucking break them. Um, work on that. Who do you choose to be? How can you practice that? How can you enhance that when the chips aren't down? We've got a more controlled and stable environment. How can you practice that. Little mantras, transitions, having a nice warm entry from work into the home life. Like all these little things, they all add up, man. Drift never knocks. It quietly lowers the bar day by day until average starts to feel like an effort. Don't you dare. Don't you dare let him sneak in, mate. Make sure you got the windows locked, you got everything covered, or you got your guard dogs, got your German Shepherds, whatever you need. Make sure you do not allow that to enter your life because it becomes cancerous. And before you know it, doing average things feels like such an effort. And you might be a specialist here or have money there, or doesn't matter, man. You've pulled away so far from giving all that you can that it becomes a struggle to look in the mirror. Start looking at the mirror and go, yes, I am. I am capable. I am here. I am now. And I choose the right path to rise, not to drift, to face life head-on and do what's required, not what feels comfortable or convenient. Which takes me to the next one: avoiding conversations and, and labeling things, mislabeling them— stress, pressure, tired, all that sort of stuff. No, no, no. You just need to look at the truth and integrity of your life, the situation, your position, what needs to be true, who needs to know what, the pathway between where you are now, bridging that gap to where you need to get to. And just understand, man, that the quicker and the faster— not cutting corners, not rushing— but the faster you can face that sort of shit and address your position, your belief systems, your stories, your agreements, all the things that you think are serving you and working in your favor, but they're kicking the can down the road and pulling you further into a deeper fucking hole, which enables that drift even more so, which creates this man— see how these are all linked, how awesome— which creates that man is a fucking nightmare when he's exhausted, whether he escapes, runs away, becomes a pussy, and/or becomes a violent Viking. No, no, no. Today's your day. Now's your time to step up and own fully exactly where you are and find the path. Because as soon as you establish that point A, you've got somewhere to move from, which means you can get to work on point B. And knowing that that point B is the life of a champion, lots of little micro moments. Um, doing something you don't have to because you want to. And over time, I tell you, man, like, I've lost heaps of times, but I don't know how to give up. It just doesn't make sense to me. Like, I don't want to understand the concept at all, giving up. Like, it's probably one of my favorite sayings, never give up. And, and I never will. So I've lost heaps, I fail heaps, but no, no, it's, it's all those micro moments of, of what you do, what I did. What I continue to do, what you will do, what you continue to do, what you have done when you haven't had to. And you know that. Look back in your life. You've all had success in some way, shape, or form. Look at your life and look at things you did even when you didn't have to. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Now do that with a high standard consistently moving forward, and I promise you, mate, you'll, you'll have a champion life. You absolutely will. Amazing, man. So final recap. We thought my dog had broken his back. Went to the vet. I think it was maybe $800 later, I can't remember, but it was lots. And he ended up having fleas on his bum right near his tailbone. Yep, that's the kind of dog that I've got. So again, Jed, Keo, Adam Marquez, all the other vets in HPF Coach, I don't know if you guys are taking me for a fucking ride or if you have any answers you can help me with, given that you're not my immediate vet to call on, but mate, I'll tell you what. And then the other day we thought he was going to die. Stella's crying, she's praying for him, we're saying our goodbyes. I haven't got a bit emotional. The guy was, was withering— is it quivering? Sorry, not— yeah, not whimpering, he was quivering. Yeah, he's shaking and he wouldn't move much. I was like, oh man, this is it. He barely got up, he wouldn't eat. This is a beagle, wouldn't eat. I was like, oh no. Picking him up and carrying him, I'm fucking stinky everywhere, the car's stinky. I'm taking him like, man, what are we gonna do? And all the kids are there, and lo and behold, lady's doing all the tests and, yeah, no, he's got arthritis here and blah blah there and blah blah. And I don't think she understood that we're taking him to get put down. She looks like, no, no, she did the poo test and the temperature back. She's like, oh yep, yep, not diarrhea and blah blah. So he's got this and got that and given these probiotics. And it's like, well, hang on a minute, was that another $300, $400 later? I think I spent— and there's been more, man. Ticks and fleas, and they're just fucking moles. And I actually cut him, cut him a couple of times thinking that was the case. I feel pretty bad, but it wasn't, it was a mole. But that's right, don't tell anyone about that, man. This thing He had fucking indigestion for some of the kibble. And I said to Kieran, I was like, are you kidding me, man? This dog, this thing that just won't die. Like he just, he just despite me or he loves food too much. I don't know what, whatever it is. He must look at me and just laugh, man. I'm telling you. He's probably, he probably knows I'm talking about him right now. Beagles are the smartest dumb dogs. Sorry, the dumbest smart dogs, mate, you'll ever see. Like they're just fucking unbelievable, man. Take this thing. In hundreds of dollars again later. I said, what, what, a little bit of kibble went down his esophagus sideways? The thing was going to die this morning. He wasn't moving. Next thing you know, probiotics, this and that. Mate, he's sitting in the car looking at me and I swear, man, he's just pulled that face. Maybe it was anxiety, but it looked like he was smiling. Looked like he was smiling at me. He's like, I got you again. I fucking got you again, motherfucker. I drained that bank account. You think Krink can spend money? You watch this. Watch this space. I got you. I got you, man. I got her covered. You watch. Man, 24 hours later, he's running around the backyard. I'm like, this lady told me this dog has two busted kneecaps, no ACLs, his hips are shot, his back has heavy arthritis. He's fucking running down the backyard 30 meters away, running around happy as Larry, smiling again. This is 24 hours after going to the vet where he thought he's going to die, he wouldn't move. And, um, give him his probiotics and he's just eating the house down again. So, so for what it's worth, fellas, if you own a beagle and they look like they're down and out, just make sure they don't have fleas. On their, on their bum that irritate their skin. There weren't even fleas there anymore too. It was like old fleas that died, we treated him, but he had a bit of, what do you have a bit of, what do you call it? Is it eczema? Irritated skin. Just make sure you check that first and just, just check to see if they ate a bit of kibble that went down the esophagus sideways, mate, and gave them a bit of diarrhea for a day, I tell ya. Anyway, um. The Life of Al and the Beagle That Just Won't Die. Maybe you can co-host an episode with me one day. Um, thank you, man. Thank you all for the patience. Apologies for the delays. Love doing this stuff. Plenty more where that's coming from. And a lot more of the Al's insights and some other cool things on another episode I want to do about, about happiness. I think that's a really powerful one, man. And going through these 7 different areas or foundations, I think it'll be pretty powerful for you, man. So I can't wait to share that with you. And I'll aim to do that in the next next one. Thank you, boys. Take care. And like I always say, above all else, get some takeaways from this session and action them. Action them. Who you are and building that upstream before you get exhausted and default to who you don't want to be. Never letting drift creep in, man. We all have our moments. Get back on the fucking horse. Keep moving. Address whatever it is that you need to that's hard fast, and then fucking move forward. And know that you've got that champion life in you. It's just making sure that you say yes to the things when you don't have to and be okay with that. Call it discomfort, call it pain, call it whatever it is. Enjoy that. I actually enjoy that. Like, I look for that now. Now, I don't create chaos in my life, but I look for that. I look for discomfort, whether it's my— the gym, my family, growth, stretching, my mindset, my belief systems, anything, you know, the members, team members, clients, upgrading our, our programs. And I'm always looking for that, because I know in that, doesn't matter how I feel, but in that, that's the gold, man. That's where you grow most. That's where you build and live that championship life for yourself and others. Take those 4 key points, um, never get a beagle, and keep crushing. Cheers, mate. Hey, just quickly, if you're a father who really aligns with our message, or potentially his wife, because we have a lot of fathers' wives now listening to this— phenomenal, love it, share it— there are people out there who are in pain there are people out there hurting that you may intuitively know in your gut, in your instinct, yet you haven't shown them that there is a possibility, an opportunity that they can create change through creating the right perceptions and the right influence with something like HPF Coach. Share the podcast, give it out to someone who you know will appreciate it, and they can listen to it in their own time and take the steps they need to moving forward. Thank you again for spreading love. Much respect.