110. HPF - Launch With Energy Coach Ken Lavanda

Foreign.

Podcast. In this episode, we've got very, very special guests. We've done an episode with Ken before. It's not the years in your life, it's the life in your years. That was the title of it, Ken. I took that. Credit's all yours, though.

But that.

That's a saying, mate, that you said during that episode and it's been a little while now. Phenomenal episode. If you've missed that, Absolutely. Go back and watch it. You need to watch it or listen to it. That really rung true with me, Ken, because that was before my son Roman was born. And it's really weird how you don't think that little things like what you live and breathe and rattle off can have an effect, but they really do. And that did make ends the reason why we're doing this. This is our very first introductory episode into High Performance Father Platinum. On the elite side, what we're doing from the top down. And we'll be doing this every single Tuesday in doing an episode with Ken, who is now our energy coach for our High Performance Father Platinum program. And when we talk about energy, we're talking about the vessel and the gift of life. This isn't about your body composition. Although Ken, at 50 years of age, if you got him to stand up and take his shirt off, he's a fucking weapon. And that's. I know you say anyone can do it, Ken, but not anyone does, mate. Not everyone does.

And that's.

That's an inspiration, you know, to all of our fathers, to see someone like you living and breathing the message and is phenomenal. And what we're doing, what we've carved out with Platinum, which we'll dive into in this short episode, is nothing short of spectacular. Like the transformations that we have created and we will continue to create through Silver gold. But now platinum is the standard. Is exciting, but, mate, welcome to the show. Our very first HPF Platinum episode. But how's everything going, mate, on your end?

How are you?

No, it's fantastic. Yeah. No, this is really exciting. I'm so honoured and pleased to be on board as the energy coach with High Performance Fathers. So I suppose now really getting into the serious side of things at a much bigger scale. And it's such an honour to be able to work with yourself, Al. Like I said, and like you've said, knowing each other for many years, and the first time I met you was at A Regional Games CrossFit Regional Games. So with a man of your stature and what you've also achieved, no doubt any person to be able to make it at that level, especially in a competition that's to be the fittest man on Earth, is truly an amazing thing. So I believe we have a lot of things in common and it just comes down to the right mindset. And this is why I believe things, you know, when the stars or the planets align, that then great things happen. And this is what I believe that's brought you and I together and bringing out this podcast and many great things to come in the future.

Absolutely.

When I had this first phone call with you a little while ago now, and it was really weird, like I said, planets aligning, I just had to get you on my podcast a while ago. But then when I had that phone conversation with you and started to talk about the vision of what we have, not in RDM alone, but the moving parts of RDM in building high performance fathers, I knew straight away, Ken, in my gut that we were onto a winner. When you were driving from Wollongong up to the Central coast, just, just rattle off like nothing on, yep, I'll come up to you, I'll come to the office, we'll sit down, we'll have a chat, let's go through it all from which we've had a few catch ups in person and, and on the phone and in zooms and I look back now, you don't realize until you find yourself in different environments what something truly is in the case of being special or not. When I met you at regionals, mate, there was an energy that was just so attractive. I was like, fuck, mate, I want to hang out with you more than Hayden does.

Your nephew.

And we were, me and Hayden were, I think he was. Yeah, he was part of our gym at that time too. Phenomenal athlete as well. He introduced me to you and when you started doing some treatment and showing me some stuff, just talking, that you hear the word passion. But it's just standard, isn't it? Like, this is just how Ken operates, it's just who he is. And I felt so connected because I felt the same as well. And I was like, fuck, man, it is incredible to connect with someone like you and then five, six, seven years later have that ability to reconnect and then really see eye to eye on some of the big problems that we're seeing in the world, especially around fathers not having something true and genuine to get them to get out of their own way and really, really be a high performance father and successful in life. So, mate, I'm humbled to have you and those guys get ready for those guys who are on the inside now, first intake kicking off tonight. Get ready for the ride of your life because this is going to be a fucking amazing journey. But I guess if we want to just peel the layer back a little bit, I'd love to get. Because I've never met anyone like you before in this industry, Ken. Not someone who has not just the knowledge base but the tenacity and hunger to continually learn given what you already know. I've never met anyone like it mate. And that's what impressed me the most. Actually to be fair, it wasn't even the knowledge you have, it was your continual hunger for growth at 50 years of age in unbelievable shape to still feel like or be as am I. And I feel a student of life.

It's amazing but I'd love to get.

I guess a couple of minutes on your background just to re familiarize some of the guys and then why you are here? What is the big problem that you and me both see in the world with middle aged fathers entering the second half of their life, that they really need this.

It's interesting to kind of reflect back on a few things, but kind of sticking to a couple of brief things when it comes to what I do and why I do it. My biggest and most important thing for me is a personal reason because I'd lost my father when I was 12 years old and, and he was quite fit, he wasn't overweight in any way, shape or form, although he did smoke and I suppose now that I'm 50 years old and so that's like 38 years ago. And so maybe the medical people that looked after him or whatever happened there, we don't really know whether he died of a heart attack or whatever else. So it was pretty much undiagnosed through whatever reason I wasn't sure. But anyway, that's in the past. And I said to myself, even though I was only 12 years old from that day on, or you know, like literally within a couple of weeks after that, I knew that I now had to stand up. I was the youngest of six in my family, three sisters and two older brothers. And so it really hit a very soft spot for me. And the biggest thing for me really was to then realize that as I was growing up through looking around at my friends and everyone else at Father's Day and at Christmases and birthdays and when most of them, pretty much most of them had their father around and whatever else, and I really, really didn't have anyone to look up to or someone to talk to or to guide me through. You know, I get it that you know your mum's there and she's your backbone, but also I believe that you need your dad also there for many other reasons in your life. And so now that I'm a father of three, it really, really, it doesn't kind of, it doesn't really leave my mind. You'll never ever forget about the great times that you spend with it, whether it be your mother, your father or whatever it is. But the one thing I did kind of make a promise to myself that whenever I did bring a life into this world, a son, a daughter or whatever, I was going to make sure that I was going to be there for them and I was going to be in the fittest and the best possible shape I could possibly be. But not just from a physical or an aesthetic point of view, but also an internal point of view. So health isn't just about your strength. As far as picking a weight up or running, like I say, a four minute mile or anything like that, strength comes from within. And that's why I believe that this high performance fathers, this program, this unbelievable situation, that we've been able to align ourselves and come together has been amazing because I can share my journey with all of those fathers that come on board and I can share it with everyone else that I come in contact with and anyone that, that you speak to that I've worked with. The great thing about me is that this is not a job to me. This is my life. This is what I love doing. And people, exactly what you mentioned before, Al as I really, really love what I do. I know I drive into Sydney every day to work and I get up at 4 o' clock every morning. People go like, how do you do it? Why would you do it? I said, well, I don't go to work. I literally go in and making changes to people's lives in the smallest pieces. Whether it be changing their mindse giving them just someone to talk to and when I'm spending an hour, two hours a day with or weeks with people, you really get to know a lot more about them and what makes them tick, what's going on in their life. It's not just about a few kilos of weight loss. There's generally other things that are going on within them. There's systemic problems, whether they have eating disorders or whether they've grown up in a bad environment or whatever else. But you know what, listen, you've got to take control of your own life. You can't just sit back and worry about what could have happened. It's really about you creating your own journey. And with you and I, Al, and obviously the other guys and the team members on high performance fathers, we're going to coach them and give them the great direction that they need and help them turn over every stone possible to give them the best possible outcome they could possibly want to get. So it really comes down to the individual. And like I said right from the start, my most important thing here is just to live the years in my life, or, sorry, the life in my years. Because that's what's most important. Whether I'm 50 or 60 or 70, it doesn't really matter. I'm here for my children. I'm here for the people around me that want help. And it's not an effort to give people the right amount of help and advice. And if I can pass on any bit of advice that can help someone in any way, shape or form, that's what I'm here for.

Yeah, and you can't have that if you're not living and breathing the message yourself. And that's what makes you so powerful and you so attractive in being that leader for this space, Ken. You know, physical, mental, health, all the above. I love when you talk about your approach with physical, chemical, emotional in terms of health and well being. There are so many moving parts, mate, to when we talk about these guys and I talk about winning the second half in life. It's not one area. Like we don't. I didn't give a fuck how much money they have or how fit they think they are. Like you said, the aesthetic side of you, what are you doing in terms of family, self and service and keeping the areas that make your life and build a legacy, like a real legacy. You and me will be dead one day, Ken. Are we still alive? Yes, we are. But what capacity, what caliber of life are we in our children than those we touch and reach through our values, our principles, how we stand up, our teaching, our learning, what we do.

And that I won't meet my great, great, great grandchildren, but will I still be alive in them? Well, if I do the right thing and stand up in what I need to do, Ken, for myself, my children see that, they adopt that because kids respond to energy and that becomes part of who they are, which then becomes part of who their children are, which then becomes part of who their children are. It's a very powerful thing, man. And you cannot have that if you are not living and breathing yourself, which is why I love having you on the team. Speaking of that, I know, like we've got our silvers, we've got golds, we've got platinums, we've got a range of different services under the Real dad movement umbrella. And one of those is our high performance father program. But it's amazing to set the stage to go. This is the pinnacle because ultimately it creates the standard for fathers who aren't even part of platinum to reach for. And it trickles down into our gold and it trickles down into silver. And guys who are listening to this that we may never even meet. That's energy, man. Like, that's the ripple effect and that's creating a transition in their life from who they are to who they can be through absorbing this line, this line of possibility. But we can't see the possibilities, Ken, if we don't, I guess, explore the hardships and the challenges and look at what the alternative is for so many guys. What do you see in that? Like, what is the current problem that you see with a lot of middle aged men that they're facing in today's world as a father, as a worker or business owner, as a husband that we can see they're in the middle of the storm and they can't get their shit together. They don't have time, they don't have energy. Like what, what are some of the pitfalls or problems you see with, with today?

Absolutely, that's, yeah, a great question. Because what I see, and this is definitely a daily thing that I discuss with clients and people that I see, like going back say 30 years ago, I never really, and I'm sure you have never really heard of anyone with obesity issues or cancer or it's very unusual for anyone to have like children with add, ADHD and autism and all these other things that are going on in their lives. But now what it seems to be like, every day someone I hear a new story about a problem with their child or their partner or someone very close to them. And what I find really interesting is that we have incredible amounts of technology and we're pumping billions, if not hundreds of billions of dollars into health and wealth and research. And yet we're becoming a sicker nation globally. Like the world is becoming sicker. So like they really should be like, that should set a light bulb off in your head. And so when I talk to people on a daily basis, and this really is on a daily basis, people say, well, what do you think I should do? Well, really when we look at things on the outside and we talk about the way we can change things. Like for yourself and for others. What's most important that I see is everything starts at home and right in your four walls of your own house. And what you listen to, what you read, what you come in contact with, you've got to have the real scientific based evidence to back up what you're doing. Rather you want to be a leader, not a follower. And what I find is as I am preaching stuff to people every day about improving their quality of life, about making decisions for them first and for their family and then not worry about what they hear in the media, on the radio and whatever else that they're listening to. And this is where the problem lies is that there is Dr. Google or. And people just jump on and they start reading stuff. And like what we mentioned before, there's stuff about physical, emotional. Yeah. And chemical. And when it comes to emotional stuff, if you read something and you read it over and over and over again and you believe it to be true when it's just full of shit, well then you will start doing things that might cause systemic problems to you and your health. And whatever else about people talking about going on plant based or carnivore or keto diets and all this stuff, what you really got to understand is everyone's body is absolutely unique to themselves and there is no one body the same. And I can guarantee you can get all the research in the world and everyone has so many different things going on internally and also emotionally. And that's why it takes time. You can't, you know, Rome wasn't built in a day. And what, what I do with people is, is I coach them on a one on one basis as you do Al and then we find out what makes them tick, what are their likes, what are their dislikes. And it's no good flipping the coin upside down and putting everything chaos and then not being able to implement one change at a time. And so that's why when I talk to a lot of people on a daily basis, they're saying, well I heard this from this person, so I'm just going to do this and I heard this person. And at the end of the day, if you don't really sit down and take your own health into your own hands and get the right people that are looking after you that actually understands and can back up all the information that they're delivering. As far as you need to get your blood work, you need to kind of move a little bit each day. You need to Improve on your sleep, you need to improve on your eating, you need to have a look at what's going on your gut. If you have pain on a daily basis, then what causes you the most pain, then that's the thing that we need to work on, whether it be an emotional thing, whether it be a physical thing because you've rolled your ankle or you've been playing with the kids and all of a sudden they've jumped on your back and you hurt your back. Let's deal with the thing that causes you the biggest pain on a daily basis. And then when you discuss what type of pain that is with me or with you, then we can work out the best course of action for that pain. And that's what's really important. I deal with a nutritional or like a chemical pain, but I also deal with a biomechanical pain with the people that I assess on a daily basis. And they may come in or with a sore back, but you know what, they may have bloating and other things that were causing many systemic problems. So we need to find out what we need to attack first. And then once we deal with people in that situation, in the real environment, whether we're talking to them or zooming or on the phone or whatever it is, well, then I deal with that scenario at that time and make the changes that are necessary.

This is the most powerful thinking. Like everything you just shared, then it comes down to connection, doesn't it? Like, how is Google ever going to give you any fucking idea on everything you just shared?

Then?

Are you just punching it in and trying to. Trying to read a piece of paper or read some words? Can't happen. That's exactly the problem with the world. Like everything you just shared. Then you're not going to get that from reading information on the Internet or from having someone just watch you do three sets of ten back squats whilst they go off in their own life and they're not connected and invested in you. Which is why I love obviously you being, not just you being a father as well, but being a father who's 50 and in phenomenal shape and that awareness mentally and physically and sorting himself and his house out, what a living embodiment of what is possible and what you can be and should be. And this is what life is. You either connect or you don't. In the same thread sometimes, Ken, the same thread of some of my Facebook ads, I'll get a guy castrating me saying, unbelievable that, you know, you're judging more fathers, blah, blah, and it's even worse that it's coming from a father himself. And then I'll get another guy going. It's about time that we've got someone standing up for fathers and helping fathers themselves. And I'm like, fuck, that's amazing. What makes them tick. Like, one guy sees it and then he doesn't have the perspective to see the other side of the coin, where that is the truth, where we are here to serve and help fathers, and with the exact same flip side of what he's placing in judgment. This is my point. Not just your training alone. For all those listening or watching this, it's not just your training alone. It's not just your relationship with your wife or your children or with yourself or the thoughts you have in your car. It's all of them. And when you create that perception at the control center of your brain, it literally becomes like you're saying, ken, your physiology, your makeup, your belief system, your reality. And a great example of that is Bruce Lipton. He was an epigenetic scientist back in the day. Three petri dishes, same types of tissue, expose them to different environments. So the perception and the consciousness of your cells, because all of our cells have their own form of consciousness, the way that they perceive the different environments. Those three petri dishes with the exact same starting tissue, one grew muscle, one grew bone, one grew fat. What was the difference? It was the way in which it perceived the environment, which is why this is so important, to have that level of connection that coaching the tribe, the environment, what we have with hpf, with yourself on board, it's the fucking pinnacle, man. Otherwise, guys are going to be going it alone, not knowing what to do, who to turn to. And they're creating their own skewed perception and keeping the company they're not happy with, which is the company that they continue to become. That, in a nutshell is one of the biggest problems I see. Ken, the lone wolf, doesn't win. He's not happy. Like what you touched on. I guess the flip side will probably be true for the solution, but what do you think that is? What is a father who needs to get his shit together, get time back, rewind his body clock, be connected and invested in life again? Is it. Is it direction?

It's something else.

What do you think these men need most, mate? As we start to really pioneer this journey at the highest standard, the big.

Thing is I see is they need guidance. That's the most important thing, the guidance. Because they're not going to ask the question that they don't know. And that's really important. So when you engage with one of the guys here at hpf, what you'll find is that we've had a lot of life experience, we've had a lot of coaching ourselves. And throughout the 30 years that I've been involved in the health and wellness fitness industry, I've been able to work with pretty much every walk of life from 95 year old men to 10 year old children. And it's amazing how everyone perceives things in a different environment. It's really incredible to then be able to have that experience and, and create different journeys for the individual. So really the conversation that's going to be had with every individual will really send us off in a different direction and no one can really give you the answer or come up with the perfect answer because everyone's situation is different. So that's why what we do, everything has to be tailored to the individual. It's not physically possible to come up with a one cut solution like just like a conveyor belt. Look at the industry now. Look at it like, I work with quite a few doctors now and one of the biggest kind of gripes that I have, they go in and people say, you know what, listen, I'd like to get my blood work done. So the blood work's done and I've got a client now who's maybe 30, 30 kilos overweight. And the doctor says, hey listen, we've done your blood work, everything looks fine. Hang on a minute, like, listen, are you kidding me? Like take a step and have a look in the mirror and have a look. Do you think you look fine? Like maybe your perception, you looking in the mirror, you wearing a nice T shirt may look fine, but to me this is real, a systemic problem. This is where I say, and reflect on it again, that people have to take their own health in their own hands. And if you're not happy with a decision, well then you need to get a second opinion. And if you're not happy with that, you need to get a third opinion. The most important thing here is that when you're dealing with high performance coach, what happens here is that we're going to give you the right direction and the team that we have is going to give you the absolute best way to fast track your results. And that's what's important. And like I said again from the get go, it's not about sweating your ass off in your garage gym or doing the things that kind of you may think you need, but in reality it might be just about spending a little bit more time, taking a couple of days off and spending some time with your family and reconnecting with your family. That's what it's all about. Like, people really need to understand that just because you go to your doctor and they give you some results that you're not willing to question, you have to question everything if you want to improve in life. Everything is about making sure that you're in control. And we're going to equip you with the questions that you can ask. No matter which allied health profession you deal with in everyday life. Don't just put the blinkers on and just think, I'm okay. Get off your lazy ass. And we're going to show you how to do that. And we're going to give you the best absolutely possible. You know, I call it the way the crow flies. We're going to give you the fastest way we can get all the fastest kind of, how can I put it? The best information that you can get the best results is what I'm trying to say.

I'm excited, mate. That's why I'm taking full advantage. And Ken's obviously working with me and helping me. I thought I had a lot of it together, not all of it. I'm always learning. But, mate, some of the stuff we've gone through, even tracking, tracking my sleep with our special rings and everything you spoke about, I look at my data last night, woke up nine times, had a few issues with our little man. He's been in and out of hospital, some respiratory issues. And I look at all that. And if I'm not equipped with that data, I'm going into the day blind, which means I go to a training session thinking, because I've got that mentality and I'm a competitor and I've got some high, you know, I've got elite sport background, I've got to sweat it out or I've got to punish myself to get that dopamine hit and get that feeling that will destroy me. And then my immune system shot, everything's run down. And then, you know, come Friday, I'm sick, when all of a sudden all I have to do is go back and ask the right questions, get the quality information I need, which you obviously, you know, have created for me as well, on such a deeper level, too, than what I currently had or what I previously had to then be smarter in my approach. Because you're right, it's not just about being book smart. You've worked and you've told me. So you've worked with some pretty high profile people and you know, it's fucking billionaires and squillionaires and you can be, you can be book smart, but it's about being life smart. And when you have that, you must have that combined with a personalized approach of someone who continually opens up your perspective to. Yeah, not be a trotter, don't be a trotter just in your lane. Because what you're going to dig is ruts like some of the farm machinery and you're just going to stay in that rut and that might not be the right groove for you where you don't actually have the answers that you need for yourself on a personal level. That's what I love about this, Ken. The reason why it is working on such a phenomenal level and will continue to flourish. And especially what we've done at the next level with platinum launching today, June 1, is of how personalized it is. It's the only way to win, mate. It has to be. It's the only way to win.

It's amazing to look out and see what's available to us at our fingertips from the technology in front of us and now some of the technology that we're going to use with the platform and be able to track everyone's information is so important. And the. And to be able to see what's going on on a daily basis, like you were saying with the sleep, with the Oura ring and also the platforms that you've built, to be able to be able to pinpoint different areas in people's life, to then be able to give them the best opportunity to make the slightest kind of modifications in their day to day life is going to help them perform at their absolute very best. And like I said, if, if we can see that their sleep's not that good and all of a sudden you can see over a one to seven day period and we've created a readiness score to see whether that readiness score is improving or actually declining. Well then we can implement just purely some breathing techniques just to kind of help them. Three minutes a day, five minutes a day, three minutes before they go to sleep over nighttime and all of a sudden that readiness score starts to climb. So something as small as spending an extra three minutes a day is just doing a little bit far as breathing relaxation techniques that can change the whole perspective over a one, two, three day period. And then when people start to realize the small changes can make the absolute biggest difference, well then they're going to realize that through the coaching that we're going to provide and give them, they're going to realize that, hey, listen, I can improve at many levels. And so, but it's really important to implement one change at a time, then help that. So that wants to become a habit. And then when they don't have to think about that, they just do it naturally. Then we can implement the second change and then again, once that becomes a habit, then we can implement the third, fourth and so on. And then you put that together, you bring a month together, you bring three months together. The results are phenomenal. And that's why again, we can look at, from an external point of view, we can jump on the scales and go, hey, listen, I've lost my five kilos. It kind of I'm two notches down in my belt. But in reality, what I'm looking at is that blood work change. I'm looking at that revisceral fat coming down. That's the golden handshake that I'm looking for. Not from the 5 kilos on the scales. Because you know what? You could have lost 3 kilos of water just in body weight because you're dehydrated or you've had a couple of shandies or a couple of scotches or a couple of porter gas, whatever it is that you kind of go to because it's a Friday night or you've had a couple of cocktails because it's your child's birthday or you're celebrating something good. But at the end of the day, we may be talking to you about something that's external and you may have in your head that, hey, listen, for me to feel better, I want to see 5 kilos lighter on that scale or I want to be two notches in my belt. But in reality, when you start digging into what I'm looking for, that's the last thing on my mind that I want to see change. I want to see that your mindset has changed through the coaching, through the incredible goals that we've set from week one to week 12. I want to see that you've reconnected or whatever the things that we discussed with you right from the get go. So that now that relationship with you, your partner and your children and the extended family that you may have is so much more powerful. So it's not really about the initial conversation that we've had. It's really about those underlying things that we just kind of chip away and chip away and become the master sculptor that's what it's about, I call it like the onion theory, where I'm going to just look at on the outside, you might see a bruise on that onion. And I'm going to rip that first layer off and I'm going to get into the second layer. And then once we kind of work on that and I eliminate some of that, maybe that physical pain, then really what I'm trying to dig down is to the core, really, what's going on here. And I really want to see that. That blood work. You may have been on one or two medications, you may be on blood thinners. I want to eliminate all of that bullshit. You might be on, say, antidepressants. And this is the crap that I listen to on a daily basis about, oh, no, my doctor suggested I need some antidepressants. But I said to them, okay, let's take your health into your hands. Did you ask the doctor what the side effects are of those antidepressants? Are there two, three, four things that are affecting you down the track? Is it an addictive drug? But you know what? They didn't ask that. So this is why when we deal with our guys on an individual basis, I'm not going to settle for some bastard ass person telling me that, you know what, here, just take this medication, you'll be right. I want to know whether there's an alternative, what's my best solution? And the one thing that I want to share with you guys, like right now. And this is another thing that's really close to me many, like obviously many, many years ago. And as we're dads and we're kind of, you know, a lot of us are quite strong. And I've grown up in a pretty tough environment and I've had to deal with it, as in with no father. And I've kind of spent a lot of years kind of by myself and thinking about different things and whatever else and thinking, you know, am I really going to make it in life? And it's about choices. And one of the things that kind of really hit close home to me was that I lost my brother. He was in the sas, in the Special Forces. And then I very closely, three months later, I lost my best mate through two tumors. He had brain cancer. And then from that kind of these things that I thought I'd dealt with, I discovered that kind of, I hadn't really dealt with it and I haven't grieved and whatever else, because you know what? That's just what we do as dads. That's what we do as males. And I felt that it was pretty tough. And my wife kind of realized that there was something going on, something wasn't right. I wasn't sleeping well and kind of there was something not physically going on, but emotionally. And this is what we're talking about, physical, emotional and chemical. And she realized that something was wrong. And she said, listen, you need to go and see a doctor. And the great thing about it was the doctor that we have as our family doctor, we have a husband and wife duo. And so I went and spoke to my doctor and he said, ken, he said, what are you doing here? He said, you're as fit as you possibly can be. He said, you're in unbelievable shape. He said, I could throw you and do an ecg. He said, if there's something wrong, let's have a look at it. Let's find out what's going on.

I said, well, to be honest with.

You, I just don't feel right. So it's not. Nothing about. It's not a physical thing that I was going through. It wasn't a weight loss, like as in a chemical thing. It wasn't a weight loss thing. Emotional. And this is where the great thing is. I live in Woonoona or on the south coast, just near Wollongong. And he said to me, and this is what's really good about the doctor that I have. And it took me a little while to kind of search for this doctor. He looks for alternative things. He wasn't about giving me some kind of antidepressant because emotionally I wasn't right. And I really didn't know what question to ask. I just said, you know what? I just didn't feel right. Could he have gone through all these different hormone tests and everything else? No, he didn't need to do that. What he did do, he said, ken, you just need some time off of work. He said, mate, you're just absolutely fatigued. He said, you're working around the clock. Your adrenals are fatigued. He said, listen, you're just been burning the candle at both ends. So guess what he recommended. So go down to the NAM10 temple, spend the weekend at Nanten Temple and just chill the fuck out. Basically, that's what he told me. And you know what I thought about. And I thought, you know what?

Shit.

I was a little bit kind of apprehended about thinking. Apprehensive, I should say, about, you know, is he gonna suggest giving me some antidepressants or whatever else? Am I depressed? What is it what's going on here. But really I was just going through an emotional time in my life that I didn't really didn't know what to do. I spent two days at the Nanten temple. I come out and I was unbelievably, you know, like I just can't, I can't describe the way I felt. Like it was just taking those two days off and just chilling out and that's what it was. It wasn't that I need. But you know what? If I would have gone to a mainstream doctor, they would have had me on antidepressants. There is no two ways about it. And that's why whenever I deal with anyone I want to know why are they on the medications they're on? And I'll automatically go in and search whether there's a side effect to these medications. So that's just one kind of personal story that I've got and that's just about with me. But I mean I can tell you stories about every person that I deal with about situations where because they haven't taken their own, they haven't taken things in their own hands and at least question why they've been kind of given or recommended a medication. And is there an alternative? It's really, it's really a tough thing to deal with in this day and age and because we leave well, we lead such fast lives and busy lives and technology is a big thing and we're all trying to strive to achieve the best thing we can for ourselves and for our family and for the people around us. But in reality, when we look at these real simple things in life, it's about sitting down at dinner time and having a family dinner and a family discussion and finding out really what's going on in our individual lives. And ask your kids how's school today? Or how's things going in your life? And ask your wife how she dealing with life. It's really about reconnecting and really trying to support each other on a day to day basis. And that's what's most important.

Yeah, that's critical, mate. It's so important.

You know, we all have so much.

Going on, the surface shows and with our children, with our partners, with ourselves, seeking, searching for finding, owning the various truths inside and outside of us is what leads to a greater understanding of ourselves, of life and what you shared there as well. We've had so many dads, mate, who come off antidepressants no more through our program. Done. Yeah. And they're in some of our Previous episodes. Right. They don't need them anymore. And it was hard because you're right, they were addicted. There were side effects. They were fatigued, chronic headaches, bedridden. It was crazy. You know, the medications are on. But I was. I was hesitant with this for a while. Ken in. I could see what I wanted RDM to become. But you think that you don't worry about what people think and you have. I didn't quite understand the term. I've heard fear of failure, but the term fear of success. But it becomes more and more truer the more and more I push. And something like what you and I and what we are creating and the other coaches are part of our goal program, which is phenomenal. What we're creating is a standard where I'm like, this is fucking life, man.

Like, I'm invested in these fathers lives. You and me, we're invested in these people's lives and the ripple effect to their people in their life.

And.

And I take their life seriously. And they do too. Guys, listening to this podcast, even if I don't know you, the reason why we deliver this value is we take your life seriously too. And you fucking should too. When I'm tucking my children into bed. It was three nights ago and little man was sick. So very high, very heavy demand. I just looked at him and the day had just gone, was a whirlwind. It was Saturday and I was just like, fuck, man, I'm going to blink and these kids are going to be all grown up. And it's not even that because we've all got children of various ages. It's what that represents. I'm going to be an old man then, because when they're grown up, I'll be older. And I don't know, I might have three years, I might have 30 years, I might have 45 years, Ken. You just don't know, mate. So we're gluttons in something that is finite, but it's not even, you know, it's a fixed amount that we don't even know about in time. Average age is 82. But then it's also the quality. What's the quality? Like, what are the experiences like? And it's pretty. The thousands of calls, the thousands of calls and thousands of fathers we've connected with. Fuck, mate, there's some heavy shit. And you're right, no one of them is ever the same. The patterns and the pathway and how we can help them, yes, there's universal truths in those. But then the actual way that we weave through that. The next step, Ken, isn't always.

The.

Space that's in front of your leg and your foot, right? The next step needs to be personally adjusted and tailored, like what you said, to find the low hanging fruit and to really make sure that we understand that this is how you get the best bang for your buck. To value time, to get it back, to value effort, to have it at the highest level and to be connected, to keep moving forward. And that's exactly what we're living and breathing and what we've created. And obviously what you live and breathe with all the different people you work with. But even more so now that the fathers that we're connecting with, what's the alternative? If they don't care, they don't take steps, they don't take the next step. What is the alternative that you see with fathers, middle age, entering the second half, who don't even have the perception to understand this, let alone action it, what happens to their life mate and their relationship?

I'll tell you, the bullshit that people want to try and project onto other people is quite amazing. It's about taking control and stop making excuses for yourself why you can't achieve the ultimate out of your best, like out of yourself, like every day. Again, there's things that we'd all like to do or like to become or whatever else, but what I find is that people are constantly coaching themselves into things that they don't want to be. They read something, they get basically pushed offline or out of the right pathway of being healthy, being aware of what's going on around them. People need to really start to think about, okay, I'm not just going to be another number or another statistic or our friends are not going to be another statistic. As far as with terminal illness, with cancer or with something, some underlying issue. All of this stuff here that we talk about, as far as someone's health being physical, emotional and chemical, you've got to take the first step. And without initially taking the first step, then you're only kidding yourself when you hear someone else tell you about an issue again with someone's child is just being diagnosed with add, ADHD and all these other things that are problems that are going on around us, let's be the person that prevents this. Or at least give ourselves the best opportunity within life to be able to be the best we can be. By choosing better things for our lives, for our family, for our loved ones, and make the better choices in life, we still can enjoy life to the max. Like, if you like having a couple of the occasional alcoholic beverage, that's okay. Like, I live by the 9010 rule. 90% of the time I'm going to do what's best for me and my family. And 10% of the time you can let your hair down, you can have a few treats, you can do a few things that you want to as far as go off and catch up with your mates, or you can do those little things. But 10% of the time, but the majority of the time, 90% of the time, you should be striving for what's best for you and your family and to improve you and your family's quality of life. That's what's important. And that's why I'm all about helping people to the best of my ability. There's no secrets in this life and we've just got to kind of strive for the best we possibly can be and stop making excuses if you're not achieving those without getting the right direction.

Yeah, it's really interesting, isn't it, mate, when you mentioned that just off the back end of what you said then it's a belief system. Like when you're Talking about the 90 10, if someone is looking to change their life and that means they've got to stop drinking six days a week and that means they need to start looking at eating the right volume of food, start having the right environment, the right support, the right level of accountability, the right alignment and structure of where they're going to go, what they want to improve. All of a sudden the stories creep in that, oh, I'm sacrificing for this. So I'm sacrificing, giving up the drink. I'm sacrificing, you know, eating my KFC or having McDonald's Friday nights. I'm like, well, hang on a minute. Is it really sacrifice? Like, fuck, man, if it's moving you into a better version of who you are, you're sacrificing yourself to.

If you don't.

That's what they just don't understand. It's like, hang on a minute, how can it be called a sacrifice when it's leveling up and evolving who you are and who you can be for yourself, for your misses, for your family, for your work or business. That's just a fucking bullshit term. But this is the conditioning, mate, that creeps in where. And I'm saying with you, like 9010 for sure. Like, I'm not here to ever be a saint or claim to be. And it's not that I judge people who are exactly the type of person that I just explained then, but it's a belief system in saying, no, this is who I am. So I'm actually going and becoming. Becoming someone else, but I'm sacrificing who I am. Well, if you're not happy with who you currently are, it's not a fucking sacrifice. It's an investment to turn up and change that shit and turn it all around. And this is what do you see like, as the outcome, like these fathers coming through our program, some of the stuff we're going to be doing and you know, flying them in to do personalized workshops and having multiple events throughout the year. And this isn't online coaching, this isn't life coaching. As someone who doesn't know you and doesn't connect you, then a weekend course. This is decades. This is over 50 years together with you and me of experience as well as we have other coaches too in different areas of support and culture. But what do you see as the outcome for these men in the experiences and what we're going to be creating in them and their life 12 months down the track?

Sharing the personal experience is pretty incredible. And it's very deep. And the emotional side of things for each and every individual in high performance fathers is going to be incredible. It's an amazing thing. When you've been, or if you've ever played in a team sport and coming from the country myself, you find that there's this lifelong connection with people and it's a deep, it's not a superficial connection, it's a really deep connection. And they become part of your family. And this is what it's all about. It's a tribe, it's part of a family. And this is a very, very in depth, personalized program that everyone's going to tap into areas that they've never really tapped into or a lot of them that have never really tapped into. And there will be tears. There's no two ways about it. There will be tears. There's lots of things that generally with men generally hold very close and very deep to them, like with themselves. And they find, I find a lot of the guys that I work with now struggle to really let go with a lot of that emotion. And when you can bring those guys together and you can really share those deep and emotional stories, that's when you tap into that emotional side of things. And now you've got a friend, a mate, a person that you can really, really open up to. And that's why? With all of the stuff that we're doing here, I find when you can deal with those things that are very, very difficult, especially when nobody else kind of, you don't go in and all of a sudden talking to someone and start opening up and sharing some of your deep, deep and emotional lifelong stories that you've held close to you. But in what we're doing here in the high performance fathers and bringing everyone together, I get it, you may struggle to kind of get that emotional stuff out of them initially. But when you bring this team together and it becomes a family, then that when you respect each other at a very, very deep level, that's where I believe is going to change the mindset of every individual that we come in contact with. And nobody and nobody can really experience that unless you're a part of that team and you're there physically sharing those in depth emotional, lifelong stories about hardship, about different things that you've gone through. And that's a really tough thing for a guy to share. And I promise you now, like I said, I'm 50 years old and growing up in the country and you'll hear a lot of, a lot of stories about different kind of tragedies and things like that happening in the country and whatever else, it's because of a man's, for some reason a man's ego is very, very strong. They're very, very, you know, ego driven. And what we want to do is we want to show them how we can kind of break that down and become a one close knit family, a tribe, a really, really tight community. And so that there's nothing really they can't share with us as an individual because it is so deep and emotional that we really want to be able to be able to help every and each individual. Like there may be things that when we come together as a group that some guys personalities may not kind of fit with others. And you know what, when they start talking about their own personal experiences and their own deep emotional thoughts, well then that will create the courage and give enough people the courage to then basically bring that to surface. And also you may not remember some things that may have happened in your past. And all of a sudden someone else might talk about what they've experienced and what they've gone through. Hardship, emotional stuff, loss of someone that's close to them. And all of a sudden that just brings it to the surface and allows them to share those deep emotional thoughts with us. And you won't do that with some stranger or you won't do that with your doctor or your GP or whoever you're talking to. But when it comes to what we're in, high performance fathers, this is the stuff that really brings the deep and dark spots in your world to the surface. And I do believe that we're going to be able to get there. And this is why you need to be a part of this. And this is why I'm so excited and you know, just now, like, I've got goosebumps because I'm so, so emotionally invested in this. Because I know what it's, what it is going to do for people at such a high level on an individual basis. I'm just so excited. I'm sure, you know, once we all come together, my friend, it will be just exciting and so powerful.

Yeah, couldn't agree more, mate.

Perfect example was Kosciusko last year. Like having that live, catch up. It was just, it's incredible energy. Like family. Everything you just said then, all that keeps going through my head is family. We've got members for life, Ken. This isn't a program. People want to call this a business. Yeah. It's a business of fucking family. You're part of our family, mate. You are. We are helping you create your legacy and get your life back. And it's not a voodoo doll where I'm just pushing one point and trying to get you to cry or a social support group or having some area where you're just going to break down and not be heard. It's not about that at all in what you're sharing. It's absolutely the depth in connecting, regardless of what type of man you are and who you're with. And we had that at Kosciusko, mate. It's very powerful.

And you won't even get that from.

Your family, Ken, because they've got biased agendas or versions of who you are in their eyes. You can't, you can't do it to a stranger, like you said as well. You can't do it to a 43 year old female nutritionist or to someone who got a life coaching certification over a weekend.

All of a sudden they're going to.

Help you get your life and your shit together. And behind closed doors their life's fucked because they're hypocrites like the rest of the world. You guys can see how much we wear our heart on our sleeve. And we live and breathe and it's very easy to access us and have transparency in Ken's life, in my life, and the runs on the ball. We have Our testimonials page, you get a sore finger. Scrolling cam. And we're going to continually add to that mate with more depth, more purpose and a greater range of results to the point where, yeah, you're right. This is a life journey. We've got fathers who are part of RDM for life. This is going to. We're pioneering the space, make no mistakes. There's people who do knock offs of us in rdm. That's cool, we're humbled by it. But we are pioneering this space the right way for fathers. And what that looks like, Ken, is eventually a 30 year program where we are going to start with expecting fathers as soon as they become a father and into adulthood. Because that's real adulthood, right when you become a father. And taking them from their journey from 25 to 30, whenever they become a dad through to when they become a grandfather. Because that is the pinnacle of what creates the legacy and the life for the man between 30 and 60 is fucking critical, man. And every decade is different in how you turn up as a father, as a husband, as a business owner or worker servicing or serving the community. This is the long game we're playing, mate. You haven't seen people think a six month program or 12 month program or six week program. They think that programs are dependent around time. We're dependent around hinging on what life can be over the different journeys of the man. That's fucking exciting. You guys have heard that here first. That is absolutely what we will build out as we build it out over time. And when that happens, it'll be pretty exciting, mate. We'll have dads from 30 through probably their 70s and some of our old bulls. What an amazing range of not just.

Data, but using the data and the facts and the stories to show the feelings, the change and the life that becomes a ripple effect to their family, to their community and like I said, to their legacy. It's very special, mate.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

What an amazing first episode. It's great having you on, Ken. Every Tuesday, mate, we're going to be diving in. We'll peel back like you said, peel back the onion layers and make it a little bit more specific or specialized in our approach of what we do and why. Pulling the COVID back a little bit. Our IP is very valuable what you do. It's very valuable, the service and everything we give. But we will have transparency where we can. For you guys listening or watching this and showing, this is what we do, this is why, and I'm excited for that, Ken, with both physical chemical, emotional, with both mindset, with accountability, with habits. All different topics, mate. Which I'm pumped every Tuesday to do with you in our special HB HPF episodes. We'll still do our other episodes where we do testimonials and other things under our Real Dad Movement podcast. But, mate, what a first episode. Thanks for jumping on with us, mate. I'm excited for many more to come.

Absolute pleasure, Al. Great things ahead, mate.

Absolutely. I get goosebumps too, Ken. And I guess that's what makes this really. It makes it worth it. All the hardships, all the stuff that you've been through. I appreciate some of your personal shares. And the truth always wins, Ken. And that's why you and I and what we are building in HPF will continue to rise to the top and absolutely be the staple for what is possible for other men and other fathers. But thanks again for joining us, mate. Looking forward to next Tuesday. Thank you guys for watching or listening to this. Hope you got a lot of value out of this. And make sure you stay tuned for other episodes throughout the week. But ultimately, every single Tuesday, releasing a HPF Special edition with Ken and diving deep into how you can turn your life around and win the second half. Cheers, guys.