111. The Virus That's Plagued The World Forever

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement Podcast. This is your host, Al. We have a a very fiery, a powerful session today. I hope you are ready. The the title or the point of this episode is the Real Virus that is plaguing the world. Maybe we'll come up with a different title. Actually, I haven't come up with a title yet because what I said is the truth. But it's just how do you, how do you package what is the biggest killer of growth, evolution, energy and mankind purity in the world into one short episode, very, very hard and obviously reveal what that is in a second. But when this becomes real, you can then carve out the reality that you want with a greater awareness of what not to do. And that's the point of these episodes. Please understand this when I'm saying use and yours and all the different examples of moving parts of how I try and deliver a perspective around something, a message, a meaningful. Ultimately it's not direct, directed at you. I mean, we've got phenomenal members who listen to this. We've got guys who I've never met before but have emailed me saying we've changed their lives through these sorts of formats. Listening to this. We've got fathers I've never heard who obviously connect with what we're saying. Listening to this. I'm never pointing the finger at you or blaming or anything. What I'm doing is positioning in a third person view of visualizing what would it be like if I am this way is our right in any respects. Do I actually behave this way in a certain area of my life? What can I do? I mean, there's always a point. I've always got a point or purpose behind delivering, a way to see things. And can I apply that to my life? Because ultimately no one's perfect, nor should ever want to be, nor does the term represent reality in any shape or form. But what there exists in the world is 8 billion realities. This is the craziest part. You know, I went shopping the other night, Thursday night shopping. And if, you know, having young kids between 4 and 9pm for years and years, you're generally not seen in public because you're at home organizing the afternoon evening chaos and routines and fuck, man, I saw some weird people, just behaviors how the children were carrying on, how they were carrying on. And they're everywhere. There's no one better suburb than the other. No matter how much some of the snoots I used to work with in the North Shore used to talk about the West. I grew up in Penrith. And some of our philosophies and beliefs are fucking amazing compared to what happens behind closed doors in more affluent areas, that's for sure. But ultimately, just through observations, what I see and what I saw, what I continue to see is so many different realities that are carved out of perceptions. That's why I love that it's actually listed as. I'm listed as a perception coach on Lillian's birth certificate. I was actually tongue in cheek when I told my wife to do it and she put it on there. So there it is. See it in the paperwork. Al is a perception coach, but what it does, it gives you the opportunity to create your reality, because your reality hinges around your identity. And your identity is simply a choice, but it's a choice internally, on the inside. Who do I choose to be? Right now, I am a different person around my parents. Do you think that I speak to and with my parents in this respect? Foundations, principles, beliefs. Yes, of course. I'm always true. I'm not saying you're a chameleon in terms of a deceitful or manipulative manner, but you all have different types of hats that you wear. I. My grandmother's nearly 90. Right. Am I really going to be dropping F bombs and talking in a specific way to my grandmother, who used to wipe masks and wipe my mums and saw all of us grow up? And, like, obviously, there's a different energy and a different transaction between how I carry myself with my grandmother. So it changes. It ebbs and flows in life. No one is perfect, but ultimately it is an identity shift that you can create in between the years instantly. The difference, though, in what creates your identity is reinforcing it as truth. Out there in the real world, you've got one reality inside your head, your heart, your spirit, soul, whatever term you want to use. You've got your internal reality and you've got external reality, and your external reality overlaps with other people. You know, I'm a collective of thousands and thousands of people and experiences that have molded at a deep level what I've attached to and aligned to continually create the clay, carving or sculpture of who Alex is in this life, which continues to change just as you. If you think you're staying the same, you're not. You're getting worse. You're using more time being the same version back to the virus, the real fucking virus that plagues the world. Hypocrisy. Fucking hell, man. Like, and this is. This is where the fire starts. It's unbelievable to me how Much of a closed perspective people can have when they spill shit out of their mouth. They got no fucking idea that they're living the exact opposite of the standards or the bullshit they preach. Or they're living the exact same as the perceived standards that they castrate upon you or others. And I'm not talking about just me with my paid advertising. Many, many different people, whether it's family as well. Sometimes it's those closest to you that cut your legs from under you. But let's just run through a couple of different definitions of what hypocritical, hypocrisy, being a hypocrite really is. And I've got a couple that I've written down as well. One definition is a person who acts in contradiction to his or her state of beliefs or feelings. So, you know, perfect example is when you're saying to your kids, do as I say, not as I do. You're being a fucking hypocrite. Now, make no mistake, there are definitely things that my children need to do that they don't mentally understand right now why I'm telling them to do that. And I'm obviously not doing it. I'm not sitting on the toilet learning to toilet train and do a wee for the first time. So the whole do as I say, not as I do comes down to a principle and foundation of how you carry yourself and ultimately explain and create a connection between yourself and your children to give them that mentorship, that guidance to follow through on something that you've done before that you know will nurture them and help them grow. It's not a quick, whipped, shorthanded approach to go, I'm too tired for this. I don't have the patience for this. I don't transition well from work to home. So I'm just a fucking grumpy piece of shit. Sometimes that goes, no, do as I say, not as I do. Again, I'm not saying this is you. I'm just painting a picture and I'm obviously delivering passion and energy to this because this is important for me. When dads win, everyone wins. Doesn't just mean that our whole philosophy is based around the father. We know it has a ripple effect to your family. We're helping wives, we're helping mothers that become grandmothers, we're helping fathers that become grandfathers. We're helping children that become men that become women that become parents. This is a generational effect. What you will see over the next 10, 15, 20 years time is a 30 year membership under the RDM banner where you're an expectant father. Come under our wing. We're going to show you exactly what to expect, what to do, how to invest in yourself and be more awesome. You've got one child, you've got two children. You've got three children. Your children are now eight, they're now 10, they're now 14. Awesome. This is the next phase of your journey, through your 30s, through your 40s. Welcome to the Old Bull Crew in the 50s and 60s. This is now. You handle the transition of becoming a grandfather and letting go. Like, this is a phenomenal movement that we're creating. That is like when I say, play the long game, yes, it's quicker than you think. And your life will pass before your very eyes like that. Here we are, you know, already hooking into winter. But ultimately the long game that we're playing is a lifetime game. It's like, I laugh at like a six week program. Fucking hell, could you even compare six weeks to 16 years, 20 years, 30 year program? We've got fathers who are members for life already. And what a phenomenal opportunity to be part of their journey, humbled by their legacy, to be part of theirs. But ultimately, when I'm delivering these sorts of things, it is with passion, but it also comes back into the man. I'm here for you. I want you to win because I know if we do it the right way, when you win, everyone else wins. That's a byproduct, which means I don't need to focus about your children or your wife, but I paint the picture of examples because that's what's connected to you. So the whole do as I say, not as I do is a bit of a fucking scam, mate, to be fair, to really reassess and maybe just peel the layer back one and go, why am I saying that? Is it because I'm not turning up and I have my shit together because I'm not looking after my body and my energy? Is there a correlation between that and what I'm preaching to my children to do? Maybe I should pull my head in a little bit and get out of my own way. Hypocritical. Behaving in a way that suggests one has higher standards or more noble beliefs than is the case. Isn't that interesting? Same as hypocrisy. The practice of claiming to have higher standards or more noble beliefs than is the case. Isn't that interesting then is the case. Here's the crazy part, man. The truth always wins. I get fathers reach out to me. You Know, this is what's happening in my life. How this, this and this. What's the alternative if you don't change? Well, this is what happens now. My life will fall apart, blah, blah, blah. And the next minute, ah, you know, my wife's not. My wife's not on board. You know, she's. She's not happy with it. And, and I guess for me it's like. Okay, so let me get clear on this. You're telling me that your wife loves that you're currently having a broken relationship that's falling apart. She enjoys that. She doesn't want that to change. And she happily accepts the version of who you are, who she is, and the next journey for 30 years, assuming that you're going to stay married. And obviously you're happy to accept that, and that's exactly what you want whilst you're fucking whinging to me about your wife. But you're happy to accept that? Is that what you're saying? Because when it comes down to life being ultimately sales and negotiating with yourself, like you're negotiating with yourself every day with your children, with your wife, you know, with us, that's the value of what we do. We don't sell, you know, we don't push. If you're not a good fit, you're not a good fit. And you need to take that step. You must walk through the door, otherwise we can't help you. It's that simple. We don't save anyone. They save themselves by taking the step, and then we lift them and help them evolve in phenomenal ways. But ultimately you are a fucking hypocrite when you preach those words and write bullshit after breaking down. But telling me that, yes, this is what I want now, this is important for me, it's make or break. Then all of a sudden, when it comes to pulling the trigger with something so stupid, that's a fucking fantasy. Because it is money. A piece of paper, fiat currency. What a fucking fantasy. Like, what an illusion. It's actually bullshit that the world has to function this way. But it's also a great point of leverage to say this is an energetic transfer in which I've used my time and money, my time and effort to get this money so that I can invest in myself, so I can have better time and effort and energy in the future. Like, it's very simple. So I actually really, really find it funny. But I love the principles of what money can represent in showing symbolism and commitment. But it's also ridiculous how much people just don't want it, but they say they want it, but they don't. You're being a fucking hypocrite and you're blaming and blasting others and pointing the finger when really you should look inside of yourself and go, well, you know what? The universe challenged me out in a bit of a confrontation with the wife, where now I didn't have the balls to stand up. I was weak. And you know what? I actually don't want it. This is the craziest part. And I said this would be fiery. I'm not pointing at any one individual, but I need to get you thinking in our world to go, hey, this is how to lead. Because this is what leadership is about. When I get someone, say I've been married longer than you've been alive and talking, my next question is, I don't care if you're a fucking boy dressed in old man's skin and grey hairs and clothing. If you haven't been a leader, if you haven't turned up and shown not told, if you haven't shown through your actions and taken ownership or responsibility, what do you think makes you have the right, which was probably hundred years ago plus where age meant something. What do you think gives you the right that you're a better father, you have more runs on the board or no more than someone like I would. This is the crazy part when it comes to hypocrisy, because what it is is a form of contradiction. Again, contradiction. A combination of statements, ideas or features which are opposed to one another or it doesn't make sense. A situation in which it's inconsistent. There are inconsistent elements that are present. The statement of a position opposite to one already made. I don't give a fuck how old you are, show me. It's not the years in your life, it's the life in your years. There are people who will live to be 90 who have done fuck all with their life and there are 25 year olds who have achieved more in their life than these 90 year olds. You really mean to tell me that having a leather face and some gray hairs gives you more reputation, runs on the board and prestige in the world? I think you need to pull your head in and move into the next generation of life, not just generation of generations. This is what I mean. When it's such a subtle thing like is it lying, Is it denial, is it standards, is it a belief system, is it contradiction? Is it being a hypocrite, is it hypocrisy? You know, something that is generational, something that is community Based. Is it all of them? Is it none of them? This is the hard part. It's why it is the biggest virus in the world. Because it's fucking killing energy in a productive way to move forward and evolve in your life. Because when you're focusing on this and saying yes to this, you're saying no to something else. So when you're being a victim and blaming, and I'm not saying trauma doesn't happen, and I'm not saying you can't be a physical victim, someone could come and punch you in the face, of course you're a victim of that action. But what you prolong over the period of your life for the next five, 10, 15 years, that holds you back from going and expanding and moving on. Your life is certainly a sign of victimhood when your marriage falls apart. But you're telling me your marriage falls apart because of her. And you're pointing your blame the finger all of a sudden. Hypocrisy, higher standards, noble beliefs than is the case. Hang on a minute, mate. What was happening 15 years ago when you started having your children and you started working more because you thought money was the only answer, but food on table, which means you broke away from your family. You're more disconnected from your wife. When she asked you what you wanted for dinner, you said, I don't care, just whatever you want. You know, I'm easy. And you're showing a disconnect of interest in her fucking asking and engaging you, which leads to her suppressing her feelings and emotions and asking you things, which leads to you suppressing your feelings, emotion, because she's not giving you physical touch or whatever other love language that you relate to, but which means you suppress and then give it back to her and all of a sudden you're the victim. There are so many times in the law of diminished returns where, yes, you are going to put your hand up. There are good, genuine men that fucking break themselves. And you might be one of them in your workforce, in your lack of sleep, in your efforts in the family, in running around for the children, in trying to turn up for yourself as a man, in trying to make sure you're strong for the family when no one's strong for you. I get that, mate, and I respect and I applaud it. But you know what? Welcome to the real world. Yeah. When it's called a gift, you give without expectation of return. When you're doing trades, sometimes the trade is with yourself. I'm doing this for my wife because I know the value is I get a better wife, but I don't expect anything from her, because in my reality, I know that I'm giving and providing in a genuine way that gives her the opportunity to grow. That's the whole. You love a bird, let it free. If it comes back to you, then that's love. That sort of shit. You're like, it's so true, man, it is so true. Per exam, my wife, I tell her, corinne, you will go to the gym three days a week. It's not about her physiology. What? She looks like she's starting to recover. She had cesarean's for all of our kids. Starting to recover after her last one, Roman, he's nearly a year old now. Okay, cool. The reason why I want you to train this is being smart and intelligent as well. And it's not false, it's the truth. I don't care about my wife's physical appearance right now. I care about her attitude and her belief systems and values. If she becomes 150 kilos, I'll start to ask the question, do you not value yourself and why? Because that's a byproduct. It's got nothing to do with the weight. I tell her, you will go to the gym because you need time out for yourself. I want you to have time for yourself. I want you to be away from the children. Enjoy time out, take some time out for you physically and mentally. Get your body moving, you'll feel better, you can create space however you want. Go for a walk, join a gym, do a home workout, doesn't matter, this is your time. I'm going to break up my day. I'm going to pull apart my day so I can give you that time. And I don't want anything in return. Because I know naturally, as a byproduct in your energy, how you turn up, how you provide your leadership in their household and organize the children as well as me for what I need that's already covered and going to be enhanced. But I don't even care if that doesn't happen, because you can't come back to me then and say, well, you never gave me a chance to take time out for myself, so it's not just a sort of insurance for myself. I definitely don't take that cynical approach of protection in case something hits the fan. It's a proactive nature of creation. You can't be that, mate. If you're being a fucking hypocrite by blaming, what are you going to do about it? What separates us in our life? What separates you as being a real man and leader and creating a real legacy in your life isn't what happens to you, it's what you fucking do about it. And this is the truth. You create your own truth and opinion, whatever you want. When I say truth, I'm not talking about opinions. I don't like opinions. I'm talking about data. History runs on the board. Observation of actions. Thousands of fathers, even more so thousands of phone calls connecting with fathers. And hundreds and hundreds of fathers on our inner circle that I've connected with on a very, very deep level over a long period of time. Which is amazing because they teach me, right? Like, I already know what a lot of fathers are going through, including my own father. But a lot of fathers we work with in their 50s, I can already see the patterns of what happens in that next phase, in that next journey. I don't need to be that. And guess what? They can see that for themselves now too. Because we help them carve out the perspective to take a step back, take time out still and steady the world to look at themselves and go, family self and service. What am I doing? What aren't I doing? Where am I being a victim? Where am I being a leader? Where can I apply more? Where can I turn up? Where can I win? Rinse and repeat. We did gymnastics today for Lillian, my second. And she was walking the beam and there was dinosaur theme and there's little dinosaurs all over the place. There was dinosaur on the floor. She walked past, eyes come down, she looked at the dinosaur. What do you think happened? I was holding a hand, obviously. She's still young. What do you think happened when she took a focus off the beam? Bang. Fell now a quarter. But the reality is, you think when you say no to something, you're saying yes to something else. You think when you say yes to something, she's saying yes to focusing on the dinosaur. You're saying no to focusing on the beam or where your foot position is. You think that goes hand in hand, right? You think that's a 50? 50? No fucking way, mate. No way. You want to talk about compound interest? You think that only exists in the stock market? Fucking hell, man. Like, it is catastrophic, exponential, astronomical, I don't know. What other words do you want? Like, it is a juggernaut approach where if you slip and take your eyes off the prize one little bit, it will fucking bite you in the ass. In specific search circumstances, in specific situations. Yeah, not too bad. But it's buried, it's hidden, it's subconscious and. And it affects others. So what you're doing is you're subconsciously programming your wife that you don't care about dinner, you don't care about her efforts, of her cooking. By saying, I'm easy, hun, organize whatever you want, you are disconnecting from being connected together in something that maybe you shared when you were a married couple, before children, whether you cooked, she cooked, or you both cooked, you shared that connection in enjoying a meal, enjoying the process of looking forward to it, what it entails, the shopping for it, the prep for it, the prep afterwards, and cooking and cleaning together, sharing that experience. That's it. That's a, that's a tribal thing, man. Fucking hell. Like, look at culture and tribes, like eating. It's, it's connection. Eating around the table, no technology, that's connection. Like, don't write that shit off so quickly. I had others where it's like, you know, I love your stuff, I love your content, but I don't like when you swear. Awesome. So let me, let me look into your life. Are you fucking perfect so that you have a higher standard? Like, if you're a man who hasn't got his shit together, you're not looking after your wife, not leading the children, you're sloppy with your energy levels, you don't even organise your own shit. And you're falling apart in all these different areas, yet you don't say a single swear word that somehow elevates you above me being passionate and dropping an F bomb here and there. Like, can you see how easy it is to be a hypocrite in the world? It's a virus, man, and it's contagious. It's deadly. It is deadly. It won't put you in a box, but, but you're already in a box, that's the problem. Most of the people in this world are already dead. They're just not buried yet. The question you need to ask yourself is, are you one of those people? Are you one of those people who is a subtle hypocrite in your own right? Here's my catch. And this is the point of this session. Because there's always a point to help you move forward. Forget about everyone else, forget about projection, expressing to others, deflection, all that sort of shit. Ask yourself this question. The words, the thoughts, the feelings, the emotions, some of the actions, the writing, the reading, the listening, all the different forms of communication, that's you communicating with yourself, talking to yourself, thinking is talking to yourself, holding conversation with yourself. Where in your life are you actually Being a hypocrite to yourself, this is the gift. This is the golden nugget. I gave you examples externally, let's go within. You say you want this and you hold that standard in words, thoughts, journaling it for a couple of days, New Year's resolution, perfect example. Yet you can't even turn up in your own life and follow through with the goods, and you call it a sacrifice. How are you sacrificing? By trying to install good habits that are going to take you away from a version you're not happy with? That doesn't make sense to me. So it's not only your physiology, it's your psychology of how you're turning up and the words that you're communicating and the vocabulary that you use to. To convince yourself that you're already not even worthy or you don't deserve it, or you shouldn't have to. Why are you being a hypocrite inside of your own life, man? Come on, put that shit aside. Put it down. Pull away from the lesser version, inside the thoughts, inside the little voice inside that says you're not worthy because you are. You are worthy. But if you're being a hypocrite by saying all these words, by dressing in nice clothes, by trying to profess this image of who you are in a snapshot approach in your thoughts, your feelings or emotions, but then for the other 998 minutes of the day, you're false and you're not true to yourself inside of yourself. And you're allowing this war to be waged with a little voice inside because you're going it alone. You're the lone wolf, and you think you can work your way through it, or you think that's the standard, that's just what life is. You'll fucking lose, mate. You will lose. Like, call me Pontius Pilate, call me whatever you want, but at the end of the day, there has to come a time where I've just got to wash my hands. I can't help you. We can't help you. We can't help you if you're not ready to turn up, but we can't help you if it becomes too late. I'm not a miracle worker. Some of the dads argue otherwise. And yes, we've created some pretty good miracles. But what I mean is, there becomes a time, there becomes a point of no return when it's too late. And where that comes from is buried deep in the seed of being a fucking hypocrite in your own life and contradicting yourself through low level actions in thoughts, feelings, emotions or small periods of actions where you don't have the frequency to follow through and turn it into a belief system. This is one of my other episodes, the patterns of performance. Right systems. Organize your shit, get it done in the right order. Don't be a hypocrite, commit to it. Don't say I'll do this, then don't do it. Don't say I did do this and lie. Don't be a hypocrite, commit to it. Don't be a hypocrite by judging others for not doing it. When you're not fucking doing it or you done it for one day, they did it for three. But you tell them you've done it for a week. Don't lie. The truth always wins. Systems, right order. See shit's organized behavior, mental approach, mental attitude, how you turn up frequency, volume. It must be done the right amount, not too much, definitely not too little. You're not here to train 10 times a week, do two a days and train every single day to rack up 10 sessions. You might not even need five sessions a week, you might not even need three. Do two in a walk. Frequency and habit. Belief system. It's part of your identity. The hard part is with the world. This is why my environment, my culture and what we've created is very, very important. The world's full of liars. They're full of people living in denial. Full of people that are sinking, they're in quicksand. But they think they'll be okay. I know we'll dig our way out. You're fucking kidding, mate. How? Right? Get the shovel out, get to work. Tell me how it's going. In 10 years time, send me an email. You won't even have the thought processes to be able to pull yourself together to realize what's happened. And that's what I mean when it comes to sometimes the state of victimhood. I hope this episode has served you well. Yes, it's got some things bundled around it with being a victim. Contradiction, honesty, telling the truth, standing up, leadership, actions showing, not telling. The opposite of being a hypocrite is ownership. Liberating yourself. Showing through actions, doing out of love, of self value, loving yourself. So that when you stand up, you have a good ripple effect towards the rest that you care about. Your family, those you serve, your business, your work, employees, friends, extended family. Don't be a hypocrite, man. Catch yourself out on this shit. It is the worst virus. It is contagious. It is deadly. Because you will turn your children into hypocrites. They don't even know it. They won't even know the word. You don't even need to know the word. It's the energy, all right? Behaving in a way that suggests you've got higher standards than what's actually true. Than what is the case. Ideas, statements, features. They're opposed to one another. Contradicting yourself. Isn't it funny? Hey, the dichotomy of life. Which side of the coin are you on? Have an amazing day, night, week, weekend. Make sure you take this on board. I know we get fiery at times. It's because I live and breathe the message and it's what we stand for. But it's so true, you know? You don't just have to hear it from me, hear it from others. Explore yourself. This isn't what to think. I'm not telling you what to think. I will never tell you what to think. I'm helping explore and open the opportun and helping you position yourself on how to think. How can I think things differently? Because guess what? When you're thinking, you're holding a conversation with yourself like there's two people. That's why counseling can work. Counseling can be great. And it also can't. If they're not invested in your life or connected to you, they don't give a fuck. That's why what we do is phenomenal. The environment and the coaching, like it's proof is in the pudding. I mean, there's nothing else to say about it. That the history and data we have is ridiculous. Like the end. But you must start inside. Start with yourself. Hold those conversations. That's what they are. Hold that connection, that communication. Get the right context. Make sure you understand. Get clarity and get out of your own way. And win. And do that first by identifying areas where you're being a hypocrite. Not even to others, but to yourself. To the big version, the little version. Win that battle, win that war. Keep him. He has to be there. He will never leave. He will show you what not to do. He's great. He's a great teacher. The little voice tells you what not to do. Just do the opposite, right? Get out of your own way. Don't isolate yourself. Lone wolf is bullshit. Self made is bullshit. Rise up and win. And win the best way. By living and breathing the message of being a true leader through actions in a loving way that has a ripple effect and legacy to those you care about. Not being a fucking hypocrite. Like the rest of the world. Take care. I hope you enjoy this episode. Have an amazing day or night and I hope this has served you well and look forward to another episode soon. Cheer.