117. The One Thing Every Man Wants, But What You Need To Get It

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement podcast. The point and purpose of these episodes, as always, is to have a point and purpose towards helping you win the second half in life by building a path of becoming the best father, husband, man and member of your community that you can be. We do this with various ways of connecting. Life is connection. And as you hear these words spoken time, time and time again, know that the driving force of connection in life is energy. Which means that how you turn up as a father, as a husband, as a valued member of society will always start and end with how you turn up as a man within yourself. First, this is why it's my mission, my purpose, our mission, our purpose through Real Dad Movement to inspire, motivate, educate, and guide you into thoughts, feelings, actions, and a change in your belief systems to rise up, cut the shit from your life, and live and leave a real legacy. When dads win, everyone wins. And when you win, I win. Let's get moving forward, mate. Right here, right now. And here we go onto another cracking episode today, tonight, whenever you may be listening to this, make sure you really get in the zone with this session and spend some time out. Whether you're driving, kicking back, headphones on in the car, it doesn't matter. Your full focus and attention is very important here in this episode. The one thing that all men want, the number one thing that all men want, but what they need to get there. And that's the kicker. That's the kicker in this episode where really we're diving into what we all truly crave and desire as men. It's part of our DNA. It's part of our makeup. It is who you are. But unfortunately, we get lost. The stress, the chaos of life creates huge amounts of erratic reactions, behavior. And in chewing up the most valuable resources, time and energy, we get left stunned at times. Like, I've been on that fucking play. Yeah. Thing at the playground with the. With the kids where you sit down, it spins around. It's like, shit, man, I am dizzy. I've been going on this thing too long and too fast, and now I'm actually standing still just to pull back and get a little bit of a scope on my circumstances, my situation. I can't see shit. Everything's spinning around. And that's the hard part, because when we're diving into the one thing that you want, this is what you desire, it's what you crave, it's what you want. Like I said, it's in your bones. It's part of you. It is a Part of you, when you have so many other hurdles in your way in life, it's what leads to a drift and a drifting that feels like it's losing purpose because the drift is something that you don't have control over. You're not certain where it's going to and it can become chaotic and you're not sure of the outcome. There's a process to this and I really want to give huge shout outs to our members on the inside. Here's the crazy part. Like, you think I just kick back and sit here and, and just throw a whole heap of shit up, or I read some fucking books and I try and hit you with what I think's the answer and then all of a sudden you know, well, let's, let's try this, this, this and see what sticks. Fucking, what a nightmare. Maybe that's how life coaches or other people operate. I don't know. And anyway, it's not to, not to judge or castrate people who want to label themselves as something. On my children's birth certificate, I've gone from coach to perception coach to legacy coach taking the piss. But the miss has actually put it on there. So there we go. It's there for good. But really, when it comes to creating connection, this is what I love most. My skill set. Call me the oracle, call me whatever you want, but ultimately this comes off the back of learning from my clients, from my members, from those around me. Learning, learning, learning. And that's what I love about our tribe. I am learning from them. I'm learning for you. And nearly 30,000 downloads into this. That's fucking awesome, man. That's so great. And I want to thank you for being part of that and really connecting because this is the energetic shift, this is the change that's needed and you know that. To bring the family unit back together to restabilize masculinity. Fuck all that other bullshit, all the other controversy, corruption and stuff, trying to tear men down, Toxic masculinity. You're fucking kidding me, aren't you? Are you serious? You really want to. You really think a woman wants a fucking weak man with 100% feminine energy running through his veins? You are fucking kidding me. And on the flip side, women who want to become very powerful and successful in life, well, guess what? They've got, have a look at them. A fuckload of masculinity to get there. Which is what always cracks me up about the extreme feminists because the one actual energy source that they drive and push to promote their agenda of feminism is fucking using masculinity through the aggression, through the rage, through the so on and so forth. Maybe that's another day and we'll talk about labels, but ultimately, you and I both know that this is the way forward. Let's build generational wealth. And finance has a very small amount to do with that. So when you think of the word wealth, don't think about money. Fuck that. Think about what real wealth is. That's your legacy. That's you living on as an infinite energy source. You and me will be dead, yes, we will one day. Gone, buried dust in the earth from a physical body point of view. But tell me, where did your son learn to smile? Or where did your daughter learn to get that witty nature and you know, and start throwing some dad jokes back to you? Like, where do you think they got this from? You think they came out of the womb and they've got this blueprint already in there? It's like, yep, sweet, I'm gonna smile this way. Oh, what a coincidence. It's the same as dad. Come on, mate. This is what eternal life is, you know? And it's not woo woo. It's real. The mannerisms, the belief systems, what you pass on through to your children. So we know the importance of this. And I want to thank you for being part of this journey with me. Whether you ever come on the inside or not, we're in this together. I'm here for you to rise up and create stability inside of this family unit. And that's what you need in a nutshell. What you want is freedom. We know this every single fucking man in the world. Freedom. It runs through our veins. It's what we desire most. It's what we want. It's what we crave. Have a look at the world. Have a look at all the bullshit going on. And as you continue to wake up, more and more and more opinions. Fine, awesome. You want to have opinions one way or the other where tinfoil has not. Where it. What? That's cool, man. That's great. I simply sit back and observe actions. And the actions that I've observed over the last 18 months have been actions of very fucking weak people in positions of power. Very weak. With bullshit statistics. But all opinions aside on what I said just then, observation of the facts and the actions when they come from a place that you are influenced under the light of fear. Very rarely, if ever, is there a positive outcome for the recipient. That's you. You are the recipient. So when you see mainstream media and all the other Bullshit. Driving fear into your fucking lungs with every breath that you take. Just have a think about that and ask yourself the question, hmm, fear. I guess fear's the answer. I'm just trying to think of how, when, why, or where it would be, which we know it isn't. Freedom, men, freedom. This is a very powerful level that's going to connect with you men in a few different ways in a few different areas. And I get that. And that's cool. That's all good. That's the point of this for you, to find what works for you out of these episodes. Talk about the food chain. We want to talk about the life chain. There is a chain of command to your life, what you desire, which is freedom. It's what we want. It's what you want. It's what I want. I just want to breathe out. I just want peace. I just want to kick back, breathe, and do more often than not. And I like saying that. And it's not a disclaimer when I throw that on the end of some of my terms, but there are absolutes and universal truths, and there aren't. So when I talk about freedom, it's like, oh, well, what does that mean to you? Are you always going to be free? What does control mean? Are you always going to have control? Some fuckwit's going to trigger you in traffic. Like, you may have control to pull back and not hit the road rage like you used to, but you might still get those little tingles and feelings for three seconds. So it's very subjective and objective, some of these terms, but freedom is what we want and what we want to have. And you can have that again more often than not. And when we're breaking all this down, there is a process. And this is really interesting because I want to thank a lot of the members and one of them who's part of our platinum program, Anthony, running through our alignment session, did an amazing alignment session with him. Went for nearly two hours, and fuck, was awesome, man. Like, when you're engaging in the right environment, you are literally creating your world. It's crazy. Like the eight billion perspectives. So there's eight billion realities. But what I love about this is when you're listening to this and we're on the same page, our worlds are overlapping, which means we're creating a greater world with more power together. That's awesome. That's fucking. That's amazing. That's why I love what we do. It's why I love the tribe. It's why, whilst I'd Love to reach hundreds and hundreds of thousands of fathers in different ways and help them impact and touch their lives and create change and lead by action, showing, not telling, and build a real fucking life legacy. It also limits to the possibilities of being on certain circles, in a circle, inner circle, and then obviously working one to one with me every single day, which is pretty fucking awesome. I love doing that. So me and Anthony having an amazing breakthrough. We're working through this and I got it from him sharing his thoughts, feelings and emotions on the identity cycle mapping that we do and the force mapping that we do, which I'm sure I've done in another episode. But that's one of the methods we do for our vision, creating true north goal settings, whatever words you want to use. We call it the force method and force mapping, which stands for feelings, outcomes, roadblocks, commitment and evolution. There's a process to everything we do. There's always a point and it works amazingly well. I said, thank you, Anthony. You've given me a breakthrough and this is it. I've been hunting for this for a long time and it always comes when you don't look for it. You want freedom. Yes, I get that. I've known that for a long time. You have too. Whether you address it or not, we want freedom. But I'm like, well, fuck, man, what's the pathway there? How do we get there? What does that actually mean? Okay, I'm going to go, you know, have solar power and grow my own fruit and veggies and get off the grid. Like, yeah, maybe there are actions and there's outcomes from those actions, but yeah, there's. There's the. There's a physical level of freedom. There's an emotional level of freedom. There's a chemical emote. Chemical, emotional, physical. Which ties into a lot of the stuff we do with Ken, our energy coach. There's a spiritual level of freedom, you know, however you want to either deconstruct or translate what spiritual and spirituality means to you. I mean, you're a fucking idiot if you think that all that exists in the world is black and white. And I say that with respect, mate. You know, but. But it's, it's true, you know, yes, spades are spade in many areas of life. I'm with you. But how you do one thing should never be how you do everything. Because that's a scam of a term if I've ever heard it, and I've heard it before from people that I do still respect and I love and care about. But it's it's false. It's very false. Because I'm incredibly lethargic, lazy and laid back in certain aspects of my life. I'm very messy in certain areas of my life and I'm a fucking gun in certain areas of my life. And to the point where like it is the highest level and standard and more of. Yeah, I guess more often than not, that's really when I'm working with the fellas in certain areas of my relationships. So it changes. You are a chameleon and that's necessary. How do we get to freedom? How do we get there, Al? You're like, yeah, I want that, you know, and, and there's different things. I've been listening to you for a while or this is my first episode. If so, mate, welcome to the show. Well done. But you know, how do we, how do we actually establish this in a consistent way? Because here's the thing, when I go through this life chain in a second and maybe I'll come up with a better name, who knows? But at the moment you got the food chain. And if you're at the top of the food chain, awesome. Life chain. The top of the life chain is freedom. That absolutely, you know, you are a free flowing source of energy, not trapped in the body, but living and expressing life through a human body. How do we get there consistently? Because you can have freedom. But I mean, fuck, man, did what you do really work if you're free for three hours? I don't know. I got freedom, Al. I finally cracked it at the family. So that's it. I'm going to do time for me, spend time out for myself and I just went down and I played golf for the day and then went out and sunk some piss or whatever, went for a walk afterwards and just spent a whole day to myself. Was awesome. That was great. Blah, blah, blah. Well done. So when's the next one? Is it nurturing you? Has it come as a reactive state at the cost of your family? Because you've just boiled up and bottled up all of this stuff where it does boil over and it explodes because you didn't consistently look like for yourself and consistently have freedom in your life. This is where what I'm about to share with you is very fucking powerful. And it's a big thing for me as well because it definitely lines up the dots of when I used to live in my gym for a period of time. Old gym members. Hello, how are you? Yes, I did. My life was fucking pretty traumatic in 2017, man. Not that Long ago. And I've got some pretty big stories, but it's not about it being raw or sensitive to me. I'm very transparent. I'm happy to share this with, with anyone. But it's, it's about, I guess holding on to some of the stories and some of the experience I've had in life. Very crazy between 2017 and 2020 and even before that with, with sport and whatnot. But some real big where, oh, it's going to be amazing when you have Contrast so in 10, 15 years time and you can see where we are then, where I am then and what we're doing be like, wow, he was really there. Whereas now it's not fresh, but it's still pretty close. But yes, you know, this is some pretty crazy that I wish I had back in 2017, which would have helped me reorganize my life to not break down my family, you know, obviously crush my wife's heart and, and everything implode. But I guess it's made me a pretty phenomenal coach in terms of helping other fathers get their shit together, realign their marriage, their connections, their body, their energy and their health and their legacy through time as well. It's awesome. I feel blessed for it. If you continually grow and expand in your life, don't hold regrets. You can't. Yeah, fucked up, Al. Or I did this or that. Yes, of course you did. I did too. Let's get the list out. It's like a five year old with a list of Santa, right? There's nothing out of those comic books, runs a fucking hundred meters long. We've all got a story and stories and that doesn't take away or desensitize what you're going through. What you go through at times is real. And I'm definitely not here to say that. Oh, come on, mate. Fucking chin up. Bill down the road's going through this, this and that. That doesn't work. It's a share, don't compare type format. But ultimately what I'm going to share with you now it's taken me 15 minutes to do an intro is the pathway to freedom. You'll see overlap. You'll see an overlap and overlapping principles. I love that. Circles of significance. Phenomenal true power. You know, there are so many different principles. Not so many, but there are a good amount of key principles that we've developed and built off the back of fathers who've played an incredible role in my life. And I thank them for especially some of the old bulls we have in their 50s. Like, I learn a lot from one of our guys who's been with me since day Dot. Pete, you know, call him Pop. But I hope you're not listening to this Pete, because you're 6 foot 7, you're bigger than me. Don't come find me, sir. But old Pop, he's a cracker. He's awesome. Like, great value. So you learn a lot from a lot of different people. And I feel blessed that whilst I am the leader, there's other leaders inside of rdm. They're all leaders. And whilst our coaching team runs nearly 10 deep, my level of leadership is in a specific way, to hold up a mirror and be a sounding board and reflect different perspectives around what the father needs to get out of his own way and win. Don't ever discredit that. That's a very powerful thing to have in your corner, and I love doing it. Just like many other different moving parts in your corner, that's going to help you dominate and win in life. How do we get to freedom? The overlapping principles. The very first point is certainty. And here's that. There's four of them. Certainty, first one. See, here's the crazy part. With life, you want freedom. Okay, you got to peel it back a little bit, and I'll do a bit of a rewind once we get to the end. But if you don't take any proper action, like, you can take action. A thought is an action, a feeling is an action. Thinking, oh, it's okay. It's, you know, it's Christmas, I'm gonna fucking eat all this shit and drink alcohol till I pass out. And that's okay. It's all right to treat yourself every now and then. Awesome. Great, mate. That's, you know, that's action. But if you don't take the right kind of action, you won't have certainty. Now you can take some action and be certain. For sure. I can. You'll be certain. Did it work? Didn't work. But that comes down to a level of awareness. Are you actually paying attention to the actions that you're taking? Because if you're not, you are pissing in the wind. And I love it. You know, it's. It's. It's amazing when you're one way and when you cut back the other way, you can really reflect it and reflect on it and go, shit, man, what was I thinking? No, I wasn't. That's right. So there are different layers of action, but ultimately, when you create different types of action in your life with a goal at hand, a goal in mind to move you forward and expand and evolve who you are, yes, you will get certainty. Did it work? Didn't work. How well did it work? Because if you don't have those goals, those visions and that forward thinking, but using the now to live, express life and bridge that gap, well, you're not really ever going to have certainty from the other type of action you're taking because you are pissing in the wind. You have no fucking idea what the outcome is, nor do you care or even think about it. So when I talk about certainty, I'm talking about an awareness of actions and a hunger for growth. So let me just dial in these terms because it can mean anything to anyone. Let me share with you what my fucking definition of certainty is. When you take a level of action that's out of a desire to expand and improve your life, so it's almost like commitments and covenants to yourself, you will have certainty on A, how well it worked, B, how it didn't work, C, that it did work, but I can do this better. And you start to optimize and build on that which is what our principle is. In true power, learn, do reflect. Knowledge alone is worse than ignorance because you know what you should do, but you fucking don't. So don't tell me knowledge is power. That shit, that shit was long gone in the 80s 90s when you heard that becoming the buzz phrase. Learn. Yes, you must educate yourself. It can fast track you, it can build better awareness and a better approach. Do take action. Awesome. That's built off the knowledge and education have and the runs on the board you've currently accumulated reflect well. How well did it work? Let's build some certainty here. When you start taking the right kind of actions because you're continually reflecting and aligning with awareness to where you want to go, I promise you, you're going to start to get a few runs on the board when it comes to certainty. And guess what that equals. When you start to take certainty at a specific level that's moving your life forward, you have a trackable measure of going, shit, man, I'm getting better, my life's improving. What do you think that gives you? Control. Control is the next step on the life chain because that's what we want. That's what you want. That's what I want. Yes. Because where does that lead to? Well, leads to freedom. When you take the right amount of action and you build that capacity of certainty inside of your physical and mental headspace and your physical actions, your Belief systems start to shift. This is where it gets interesting because there is an overlap. There's an overlap between having a real spine, the real spine of a high performance father, which is high courage, long commitment, that gives you certainty, that creates your kingdom. There's also the principle of the identity cycle. And the identity cycle is your belief systems, your thoughts, feelings, emotions, actions. And there's a certain order in which that goes, which continually becomes who you are. And you can reverse that as well. So there's definitely a common theme and an overlap with all of our principles and what we do. But when you're taking the right kind of action, man, you're starting to get certainty. Call it whatever you want. You can call it confidence. I can get your mojo back. You know, getting some juice in the gas tank to be able to then go to the next level. That's cool, that's great. But it is definitely a physical and mental relationship with yourself. You know, when I say this, when I say that everything you do physically affects you mentally, that's not an opinion. Again, that's a universal truth. I'm not sure if there's universal laws around it, but it's the first truth. And here's an example. If you're not quite sure, you know, I just do it because I know my body needs it. Cool. Well, how do you feel if you don't do it for your body? Or here's a really simple example. Don't fucking brush your teeth for six months and tell me how you feel about yourself. Don't have a shower for two years. Tell me how you feel. Right. Don't cut it. Well, I can't say don't catch nails, because there's some pretty epic Indian pictures I've seen before. Not that anything gets. I just remember with a few of my mates in school, we looked it up. And few of my Indian, Sri Lankan and Pakistani mates, when I play cricket, they're like, mate, check this shit out. And back home they're sending me pictures of, like, relatives where they got nails that are like 2 meters long. That's pretty crazy. So maybe that's not a good example. Maybe that'll in. Well, maybe it is. You'll feel better because you've got the longest nails in Calcutta. Who knows? But look, everything you do physically affects you mentally and how you feel. So let's build some certainty through our actions, our physical actions, which reinforces certainty in our mental actions that, hey, we're on the right path, because as human beings, what do you want apart from freedom? You Want progress, like you want to progress in your life. You want to make sure that you're having progress in your life. Progress towards what? Well, more freedom, a longer amount, a greater amount, different areas. So when you're doing that, guess what? You're getting back, you're getting control again of your life. And I'm going to make some really good examples to help you with your relationships in this episode as well. You're getting control back where you fucking should. You know, I hardly ever swear. I just realized that I only ever really swear on podcasts, but it's because I'm a very passionate man. You get control again, man. You get control back the right way. Because when you don't have it, what you unfortunately do to compensate naturally is you extend an arm out, extend the olive branch of control out to things that you shouldn't try and control. The misses, the kids, which leads to overburdening, overpowering, overwhelming them. You can influence them 100%. Yeah, of course I can physically. I can physically pick up and carry all three of my kids and run around with them. And, you know, I can control in that respect. But that's not, that's not healthy. That's not right. That's not how it works. You control yourself first. So when you have breakdowns and challenges with your marriages, but you really want your wife to be happy and you're just going to do whatever it takes to make her happy, and that's cool. I understand that, mate. Don't go fucking chasing her, though. Don't go supplicating. There's periods of vulnerability. 100%. I'm very vulnerable with my wife at times. I mean, think about it. My wife, she's got my balls, my children and my business all in her fucking back pocket and could probably crush any one of them anytime she wanted to, right? But it's through giving that level of respect and vulnerability, but then standing up on your own going, you know what? Even if you fucking took that, this is who I am. You don't validate who I am. My children don't validate who I am. This is what I choose to be and who I choose to be in the craziest dichotomy of life, thinking that would be the opposite effect that actually becomes even more attractive now. Please understand, it's not the big macho man. It's not the shit back in the 1950s. It is literally that confidence and self assuredness inside of who you are, which is actually, in a roundabout way, off the back of the actions you Took to create more certainty, which then creeps into the next chain of command in the life chain. Control. Look at that guy. He's got his shit together, man. He just. He just flows. There's just a feel. There's just an aura about him. There's just this, like, this vibrancy, you know? Like, fuck. He's just. He's got his shit together. He looks like he's in control. He's in the zone. He's in flight. Whatever you want to call it, you can compare it to sports, business, work, family, anything. Kids are cracking the shits, misses Going crazy. Shit has just hit the fan. You come home from work, you've had an amazing day, and it's like, yeah, you know what? You know what control is? You come home and instead of destroying yourself, trying to diffuse everything or try and overpower everything because you were expressing a high level of energy, I come in. Okay, cool. What's going on? Yep. No worries. Yep. Okay. Sweet, sweet. You two, hop in the bath right now. Ten seconds. Nine, eight. Quick, let's go. Let's go in the bath. And you go and sit down. Kick back, relax. Have you gone to the gym? No. Okay. Take the dogs for a walk. Take some time out. I'm feeling good. I'm great. I'm going to bath the kids. We're having chicken tonight in a bake. I'll sort the spuds out. Bang, bang, bang. You're away like that. And that's just one. Probably poor. Well, it's a pretty. It was a reasonable example. Just like that. That's. That's leadership, man. Because you're controlling yourself. Like, you're not adding fuel to any fire. You're controlling yourself, which leads to, consistently, a more integral life. To be fair, you can have integrity at any moment, but that shit will strip away right away. Perfect example. Wife selling some bits and pieces because we're not having kids anymore. We've got our three. That's plenty. And selling some bits and pieces is a toy one of the kids used to play with. 15 bucks. Awesome. Lady comes to pick it up. Cool. No worries. So it's $10 then. Seeing that Crim was under stress, carrying Roman, trying to sort his food out, trying to sort out the other kids, and it's like, fucking hell, man. Like, I get the bartering. Trust me, I've been to Thailand and it's awesome. It's great fun when it's. When it's transparent and when it's at face value, not when it's already an agreed upon price and they're coming to pick it up. And then they take advantage of a mother who's there in a rush and in a fuss trying to sort out the exchange. So $10 then, like, well done, love. You're fucking 60 years of age and you bought a toy and you fucking sold your integrity for $5. How does that make you feel? See, this is the thing, man. When you don't have control over your own shit, you're going to try and play those little games over others. That's such low level stuff. Such low frequencies. Where do you think that's going to get you? How's that going to improve you and your life? I know what it'll do. I've seen it so many times and I saw it a lot myself. Used to the right actions, get that certainty up and get it tipping over into the next, into the next section. All right, I'm getting control, I'm getting flow. You know, I'm training three, four days a week. I'm getting my nutrition on point. I'm making sure I'm doing my breathe exercises. I'm in the car, okay? Come home before I get out of the car. It's a 60 second breathe exercise where I breathe in, let go, breathe out. Like that's one of our RDM breathe. We've got a few breathe exercises. We've got breathe program on the inside. I'm happy to actually. If you guys want some, let me know. Alexildabent.com, i'll share. I'll share them with you or I'll post the videos. Awesome breathing exercise. Bang. Let go, let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Do that for 60 seconds. Breathe in, let's breathe out. Let it go. Or you could say, let breathe in. Go, breathe out. Let breathe in. Go breathe out. You have no idea the evolution in mankind to become a true leader and an unbelievable performer in family, self and service. How much that actually hinges around breathwork and tracking your sleep. Like when we're working with these platinum guys and we've got these rings that are tracking your heart rate, your temperature, your heart rate variability, your sleep, your sleep cycles, your readiness scores, your latency, so how quick you go to sleep, all the different moving parts, we know exactly where to tweak. That's going to be way better than any fucking training session you've ever done in your life to shoot you up to the moon. This is control. When you develop that level of control, you then move into what is probably the most important part, because I haven't funnily enough spoken about this very often, but this is the most important thing because what this actually equals is the byproduct of freedom, which is why I had the order a little bit mixed up. I wasn't quite sure after the session with Ant last night. It's fucking awesome. I'll still set on that order, but then I change it. This morning when I wasn't thinking about it was like, ah, yes, it's clicked. And the order is this certainty. We've gone through control, gone through stability, freedom. That was a big thing for me, man, Stability. Because my wife is so stable as a primary teacher working the det. Primary teacher, always been consistent, consistently moving up the chain, performs well, loves her job. Because of the amount of stability in our relationship that she created in one area service of our relationship together. It gave me the ability to take big risks, to go large, to go long, to go hard with things like starting gyms, pursuing my first grade rugby league career and all the different areas of life where it's just. It can be so frantic and it can be so unstable, unsure and risky because of the variables involved that I have little control over. Which you don't like. If you're not experienced in business, we don't have a huge amount of control, do you? Because you're learning. If you're trying to make first grade rugby league, which is an incredibly high contact sport with so many different moving parts, including politics, including competition inside your organization, definitely including injuries. I had nine operations over a six year period that fucking cut me in half, man. Then you crash and burn. The stability my wife created gave me the opportunity to be where we are right here, right now. It gave me the opportunity to do this podcast today that's pretty fucking special to me. And what do you think that does? Because stability is actually. And this is where they link together. It's like one of our principal's reps. That's an acronym. Resilience Excellence, Persistence, Success. If you're resilient in life, overcome the shit quickly and don't let it chip away at you or cut you to the core. If you perform with excellence in all that you do and you rinse and repeat those two, what do you think that equals? Persistence and what will that equal? Success. This is the same thing here. If you take the right actions and you create certainty in your life and you rinse and repeat that, that's going to develop a level of physical and mental control, perspective and outlook and results in your life. When you rinse and Repeat those two together, then what you're building, inconsistency is stability. Stability, stability, stability. So when you have all three of those firing, what you're building is a larger sweet spot of freedom. And that's my point. You can run off, you can do some extreme shit right here, right now, and you'll be free. The question is, for how long? Well, the questions for how long for what areas of your life and what's the slingshot? What's the rubber band effect when it comes back? If or when that happens? So if what you want, if what you and I want, desire and need in our life and crave in our life is freedom, the bigger question is, what does that look like? How much can I have and how long can I hold it for? They're the questions, man, not just how do I get it? What does it look like to me? What does that look like to you? How do you think you'll acquire it and how long can you hold that for? And this is the key of this episode, because I've rarely spoken the word. You want fucking stability. You think your wife wants security? You think that women want security in relationships and marriages? Nah, they don't. Fucking security, you're kidding. That's what I thought too. They don't want security. You don't even want security. Why would you want security? All those fires, all those poor people down in Bateman's Bay got fucked up with those fires a year and a half ago at Christmas time. Like, where's your security there? What insurance companies that have gone under or their houses are gone and they can't reclaim them? Security is still a short term measure of an external reach and dependence on something outside of yourself to give you the illusion of certainty and control to validate or justify your position, to do nothing inside of yourself first, please understand what I'm saying here. When you're talking about security, you're looking at external things to create an internal measurement of control and certainty that you can't have. Mate, that doesn't make sense. Using the extra. It can influence you, but it can't equal like me marrying my wife and having a piece of paper externally written out there on a fucking desk. That doesn't validate my internal control and certainty go, oh, well, that's sweet, mate. Fucking married for life. I'm gonna kick back, fucking sink some beers, watch Netflix, do a little bit more than Ben Skinner and get up to the 10th season of ice Road Truckers. Fucking new beauty. I'm married. Oh, you can't leave Me? You got a piece of paper. Don't forget that, love. Go and get to the kitchen. Off you go. I know that's a pretty extreme example of being a pig, but my point is, you can't use external things, man, to bring that level of independence inside of yourself, which then equals freedom, stability. That's what she wants. That's what they want. So what does that look like for you? Well, when you're turning up and wearing the pants. Your pants. There's two pairs of pants in the house. When she's wearing both pairs, that's when you're in trouble. You wear your fucking pair and let her wear hers. And they're different. It's a different cut, different colour, different make, different size. You wear your pair of pants and you stand up and lay the house that you should and you go and create honey in handsome time. My wife's reenlisted in education. She wants to be a teacher or she wants to do this, or she's gone back to tafe or she's gone to university, she's had the kids and she's feeling a bit isolated and gone a little bit stir crazy. No worries. Awesome. Love languages. Go back to that old episode and listen to it right now. If you haven't love languages. Awesome. This is what she needs. She's stressed under the pump. I'm going to remove her roadblocks, perceivable and real, because I have the power and the influence to help my wife. Because it's my wife. It's the other half of me in our relationship as an intimate couple and as parents leading the household. No worries. This is what I'm going to do for you, darling. I'm going to actually take the kids out for three hours. You're going to go have some time to yourself. I've actually booked you in for a massage. Neck, back and shoulder. 45 minutes. Go and get that rub. And I've actually already organized the slow cooker. I know you were thinking about dinner and whatnot and you weren't sure what to get out or defrost or thaw out. Already done. When I went to the shops earlier, I bought a nice lamb shoaler. It's in the slow cooker. Spuds are chopped and put around it. We're set. Don't worry, dinner's covered. Have some time to yourself. I'm taking the kids to the park for three hours. Don't forget your booking and your massage is 1:15 or 2:00'. Clock. Enjoy what you're creating through that is one. You're giving her certainty and control and you're showcasing that inside of yourself. Not over her actions, but inside of how you're willing to lead and come to the table with your relationship. You're then building a level of freedom for her, but that's going to be longer lasting. And that's what I love about this third point. That's the big chink in the arm that most people forget. You get a little bit of freedom, you get a bit of control, you get a bit of certainty, but you're not stable, mate. Which means the world becomes unstable around you, becomes chaotic, frantic, stressful. Shit falls down everywhere. You can't keep it organized, can't keep it together. Like when I say I get dads a thousand, like a thousand hours a year back, I mean it. Like that's not some buzz or catchphrase or hook. I mean it. You come to me with your life, I guarantee I'll give you two to three hours a day back, guaranteed. And then the time that you invest, we're going to 10x your energy levels and your performance in that. So even shit that takes you a certain amount of time, takes you less time. Again, this is what we want. We want freedom. Hard part is though, if you can't create stability inside of your life, personally as a man, stability for your children, as you stand up as a father in the environment, you heavily influence their environment, which you control to a large degree and influence. If you can't create stability inside your relationships, you will fall down and burn out. You will burn out because you're facing resistances that you don't even know exist. And these invisible forces, they're chewing you up, man. You're getting tired, you're fatigued, it's hard. I get that. I just want you to sit back for a second as we start to slowly wind this up. It's been a very powerful episode in terms of understanding the steps towards what we desire and finding where your linchpin is. Like, what's the one area where you struggle? You're like, oh, man, I get this whole stability stuff and freedom, but man, I don't even have certainty. No worries, mate. Let's start with that. I've got certainty, I'm taking actions, but it's not. It's not giving me the result that I want. I don't feel like I'm empowered. I'm in charge of my life. Okay, See, Taking actions, but it's not giving or yielding the control you desire. No worries. Let's explore that. So just kick back for a second and just have a think about what we've gone through in this session. Like where do you feel stuck? The end game is always freedom. Because freedom is a byproduct of the other areas of your life that you've gotten together. Certainty, control, stability. And they're all byproducts of what? Leadership, showing, not telling, communication, clarity. This is what I love. Like maybe this will become the tree of life. Maybe that's a better way to put it. Where we'll have right at the top, the top of the branch, or maybe at the bottom, deep into the roots, I don't know which order. Ascending, descending, There'll be freedom probably at the top, let's say that. But from the root, from the base, it's actually self value. If we want to break this down properly, because this is just part of my makeup, I don't have to think long about this stuff. It's what I live and breathe every day. What you all lack and what we all lack in life is self value. You are worthy, mate. You need to back yourself, believe yourself, the tall pop, being yourself. Piss off people that try and sabotage you or pull you down and have different agendas of you and biased versions of who you are. Piss the shit off that influences you through a line of fear as the recipient that doesn't serve you any purpose at all. And make sure you take action, pull the trigger and get after it and build experience in your life. Build experiences, that's what it's about. At the root of this tree is self value, self belief. You are worthy. Like you. I don't know how many times you are worthy, mate. You're worthy of this, you're worthy of greatness. You can achieve more in your life. Please understand that it's not that now's not enough, it's that you're still living. So what can we do? Let's keep expressing, let's keep experiencing. You do have the ability and the tools. I mean, I'm sure there's levels of fucking backhanded foot in the doors, corruption, all sorts of bullshit. If you want to get to certain areas, whether it's Hollywood and politics and other fuck that you're not here for, for that. You and I are better than that. I'm talking about your own legacy and living your life on your terms. You can build that, you can create your world, you can create that. But all of these are byproducts and stems. It's a flow on effect that creates certainty, control. And then when you can consistently do that. Let's build stability inside of our lives. Because when you have that, it gives you the chance to pull the trigger. And this is my point not to. And I really feel for people I know. I use Bateman's Bayesian example. People who had large periods of loss don't look at the outside stuff for security. My security blanket is actually stability. And my stability is investing in who I am. I could close up RDM tomorrow. I could close this. I could close all this down in a fucking heartbeat. Could do that tomorrow. There's some flooding at times, but not really where we live, but there's some right near us. But we're a little bit luckier in where I live on the coast. My whole house could get everything turned to shit. But because of my skill set, my value, what I could do, I could walk into any fucking organization tomorrow. I could provide value, I could serve. I could be resourceful, I could think around my problems. I could get food, I could get water. There are many different things that I could do in a heartbeat because I've got stability in my own asset, which is me. You are your greatest investment. Don't ever forget that. And this is an investment in freedom. And the more freedom you want with longer periods of time, with larger impact, with more areas of your life, must come down to making sure you understand that you actually need a certain level of stability in your life, which comes off the back of your relationships, how you handle yourself and how you invest in yourself. Please understand I'm not talking about the safe option. I'm sick of that word, fucking safe. Safe. I'm so sick of that word. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about you investing in yourself. You want freedom. Awesome. Build together the right level of actions, make sure that's moving you in the right direction so you feel like you have more control. You physically have more control, energetically have more control. Results runs on the board and facts shows that, hey, this guy's got his shit together. He's on the point, he's on path. And from that, do it. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. And then through creating that stability in your life, you then have the launching pad to go, I'm free, man. This is what I'm doing. This is my life. I'm going to do this here, I'm going to do that there. I'm going to do that there. I'm going to do this here. And it ebbs and flows because of the stability that I'M building inside of real dad movement, high performance father training program, coaching program. Our fucking skincare products will come out. Our training gear, our dad strong business with all our apparel and training equipment. Our supplement, our championship journal. Through all these different things we're doing to serve fathers in such a great way, it's giving me the opportunity to have such a stable base that I never had before through running one gym. And also then on the flip side, my wife likes writing children's books and she's fucking awesome at it. Great. Well, guess what? Go and take that chance. Off you go. Jump. Let me be the stable one for once. You go out there and get after it. I hope this is coming through to you. And this episode is really touching on a few key points. The examples I give might not even relate to your life, but fundamentally I know that there are areas in your life where you can now look and go the path to freedom. How do I create that more consistently with greater impact in larger amounts for a longer period of time? Where are the key areas? What does that look like for my marriage? What does that look like to my children? And I don't want to flog these words to death, but it must be that. That's the order. That's the chain of command. Start taking action. Review that action. And applying true power. Learn, do reflect. Learn, do reflect. Use that as a guide to leverage a greater level of control inside of yourself because of the results you're getting in the direction you want to go. Keep revisiting your vision. Keep revisiting your vision. Is this where I'm going and why? Yes. I've got control. Beautiful. Rinse and repeat that and start to build in external influences like your environment, like the tribe. It doesn't have to be our tribe, but a tribe, your tribe. If you connect to us, great. And use that to start to create. Build the building blocks of relationships of a greater foundation, of a higher level of certainty and control. Certainty and control gets bigger, it gets wider, it has more impact, which then equals stability. And from that, the natural byproduct. It's like after you've got. That's almost like the three steps to freedom. It's like freedom, freedoms, done. That's the after. That's. That's afterwards. You know, if I was going to look at this, maybe it isn't four steps. Maybe it's like certainty, control, stability, and then bang. That's freedom. That's what if you want freedom, that's how you get it. That's how you get it. And that is the way. That is the way. I hope you enjoyed this episode and got a lot of key takeaways out of it. Lots to work through. May need to listen to it again. That's okay. I do that with many different things to come from. A different perception, a different position. Early in the morning, late at night, no one's around in the car. Walking doesn't matter. You do this and do this well. There is no right or wrong. There is no. Two roads diverge in the wood and I took the one less traveled. No. There's only one path. Your path. You are the architect. How well are you building it and what are you doing to make sure you're building it? Towards your destiny and your legacy from which when you stand at that mountaintop of your kingdom, you can already foresee the legacy of your children's 1,000 minutes a day. It's a lot when you're wasted on shit that doesn't serve you or move yourself or your family forward. You are bleeding. The most valuable resource that you and I never get back. How much time do you think you have? And how much quality do you think you've had? Don't be a fool like the masses, thinking you'll cheat the system or get round to it one day or worse. Just accepting life and sinking back into a slumber of regret. This is your moment, Your time. You're cut from a different cloth. You have the hunger and desire to be more and live more. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. So stand up. Find the golden nuggets. In this episode you just listened to and align immediate action with them and where you want to go. You are worthy. This is your life. You are the king. And this is your kingdom. Now go and claim it by showing, not telling and be the real leader. You and I both know you were born to be.