120. HPF - Taking Facts & Feelings To The Next Level

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement podcast. The point and purpose of these episodes, as always, is to have a point and purpose towards helping you win the second half in life by building a path of becoming the best father, husband, man and member of your community that you can be. We do this with various ways of connecting. Life is connection. And as you hear these words spoken time and time again, know that the driving force of connection in life is energy. Which means that how you turn up as a father, as a husband, as a valued member of society will always start and end with how you turn up as a man within yourself. First, this is why it's my mission, my purpose, our mission, our purpose through Real Dad Movement to inspire, motivate, educate and guide you into thoughts, feelings, actions and a change in your belief systems to rise up, cut the shit from your life and live and leave a real legacy. When dads win, everyone wins. And when you win, I win. Let's get moving forward, mate. Right here, right now.

Here we are, another edition of our HPF episode in our Real Dad Movement podcast. We've given Ken a break. The old bull, the 50 year old Jack's man needed a week off, so we decided to give him a break and bring on Adam, our culture, systems and operations man behind our HPF Platinum program. Adz, thanks for joining us, man. How are you?

Good, mate, yeah, thanks for having me again. I think it's my third podcast now, so yeah, starting to become very experienced at it now.

Yes, starting to become a regular mate. Isn't it amazing, man? Like the first one was obviously sharing your journeys through as a member, then moving into the operations manager for RDM and then developing our program and our high end program Platinum, which is, which is epic, man. Definitely couldn't have done what we've done so far without you. And this is an exciting episode for you guys, either watching on YouTube or listening to this on Spotify, itunes and the various platforms that we have. Because in this episode we're diving into, I guess, the behind the scenes of what we do, why we do it and why it's effective to be fair and a large portion of what we do. I'm sure ADS will agree and he'll dive into this sort of stuff in his field of excellence, his area of expertise is how it actually helps you reorganize the focus and the accountability that you have in a genuine way which then gives better light to the proper coaching. What? Real coaching is not text messages. Did you fucking squat today from an 18 year old PT in a gym. And that's okay. That's their journey. We all went through that. I've gone through that. But really dialing it into the next stage, this is how we actually get crystal clear on the man's life, where he is and what he needs. But I love to throw it off. Throw to yourself first ads and obviously get a bit of a reflection first and foremost from your journey, where you started with us, to then going on the inside, to then seeing how that's grown as well, just in our actual program itself. So right back from when you started through to coming on as operations manager through to now being a systems ops and culture man for Platinum Man.

Yeah, I suppose it's hard to compress that into a few minutes, but for me, I think from when I started at the start of last year, I think predominantly we were still based around weight loss and the physical, I guess, the surface level, in a way, and we still delved into a lot of mindset stuff. But the development of where we're at now is, I guess, the physical is just a symptom of your mind. And that's, for me, that's the biggest change in what we've done as we've kind of gone, okay, well, the result in that way will look after itself. And now how do we, I guess, leverage and pivot our message to really just delve into the deepest levels of what we're doing, why we're doing it, all those things around that, the accountability, and then go, okay, well, we know what the result is going to be. How do we just peel every layer back as much as we can to then put the systems in place to create that result? And that's the biggest change for me is because I think we've all grown, and me personally, through what I've learned through yourself, the other coaches and externally is just keeping going deeper and deeper and deeper. And you can see that through the podcast, through what we're putting out, through the systems we've created, it's very little talk and very little focus on that end result. The physical, it's a lot of focus on, okay, what do we need to do consistently to create that result that we want? And I think for me, that's the biggest change and the biggest shift in what we're doing.

Couldn't agree more, man. Isn't it like we rattle off words in different terms and you've got a phenomenal mindset now as a byproduct of you, yourself continually developing and exploring and. And valuing that. That's important. A lot of you guys watching and listening. You must value yourself. You need to invest in yourself. You are your greatest asset. And the second you forget that is when you become your greatest liability. That's unreal, man, but you're spot on there. Like, when we're looking at the body and the mind, it's about really connecting the dots and just peeling the layer back one at a time to go, okay, well, what can we leverage to make sure we continually tap into the mind and continually develop who we are as men? And life is connection and life is energy. You know, one of our main pillars is energy, but it's not necessarily built around fitness. Like you said, that's a byproduct. And the craziest part, man, is because we dive deep into where the man is, where the father is in his life. The one physical area and element and component that we have actually blows away. Any other fucking fitness program leaves it for dead. Especially those who've been built out and designed for fathers because of how deep we dive, but not because of that alone, but because of the understanding of what that brings and how to leverage that Things in the platinum, whether we're tracking with our aura rings, tracking their heart rate, their sleep, their temperature, their heart rate variability, their recovery rates, their readiness scores, all of the different moving parts coupled with blood work, different scans, all the things that we do, it's not built around. Like you said, let's chisel away five kilos of fat gone. Hey, this is where you are going to mentally as a competitive and driven man. Have multiple facets of investment to go. I want to win that area, I want to win that, I want to win that. And then where's that one? Where is that linchpin? And then that becomes. The investment in body actually becomes something that is just peeling the onion layer back a couple of bits more and going, well, I'm actually investing in my mind and in my heart. What do I desire? What do I actually want? The body is the vessel that's getting me there. And what do you see is just that upgrade alone, not just from the physical component of some of those things we track. But what do you see the results be or become as a byproduct of that and going to that next stage?

The result, I mean, the result is what you want it to be. And that's the funny thing for me and having conversations with all these fathers is there's no one result. We're not going to sit here and say, your result will be you lose 10 kilos or your result will be, you're going to be happier. The result is going to be, well, you decide, you control your fate. So we'll work with you, you work out what you want and what's going to serve you. And then we'll work with you working backwards to get that result through whatever it is. And that's just, you know, you can call it whatever you want, contentment, happiness, whatever that looks for the individual. But that's the result if you really commit to it and really commit to the process of what works for you. And sometimes I think just going off a little tangent is a lot of people don't know what that actually looks like. So we'll start a journey. And I know myself, I started a journey saying I want to run a half marathon and I want to spend a bit more time with my kids. And that was basically my only goals when I started. And what I learned really quickly was a, I probably self limited myself. Where I created these self limiting beliefs. I'm like, half marathon, that's gonna be really tough. I'll do that and then realize within a couple of months, no, it's actually easy. So I had to really continue to pivot and change what that result would actually look like for me. And that still happens. I know you're the same. As we spend a bit of time working on these systems and processes and getting some results and then go, okay, this isn't actually where I am now, isn't necessarily where I wanted to be. Now I need to reassess or I'm actually, I've achieved all these things now, what's the next level? And that's the continuing, I guess, process for us is to decide what that result actually looks like. And without giving too much away, we do six monthly, three monthly monthly goals. And that's all about going, okay, from where I am now, where do I want to be? And then when I get to that point, it's not, well, I've done it, okay, cool, tick a box. And then I'll sit back and rest on my laurels. It's like, no, what's next? What's next? And we always ask ourselves that question of what's that end result look like? And you know, if my 12 month, 6 month, 3 month, 1 month goals all align and they all are consistent with that journey, that's, that's what I want to aim for. And then when I get to that point, whether it is one month, three months, I can always reflect and go, is, is the journey I'm on, are the actions I'm taking, is that actually taking me where I want to go? And then do I need to pivot or. Yep. No, I'm on track. Awesome. What do I need to do to continue that? And that's. That's, for me, that's that really interesting, I guess, process and thought process around that.

Yeah, absolutely, man. It's not that. And for those listening, it's not that we're ungrateful or unsatisfied either. It's just when you hit that new version, well, why don't you take it out for a fucking test drive? Let's see what it can do now, you know, Then let's. Let's start to pivot on the changes in the results. We've gotten to go, okay, what's the next step? Because if you're still breathing, you're still living, why wouldn't you have a crack at something else or expanding or growing? And this is the thing, like, when you're talking about control and getting that control back, I guess if we're looking at the result, the results from the one thing is you having that control. To be back in the driver's seat again, to then look at key areas you want to improve. A lot of our fathers around their relationships with their children and then leading by example, and that brings personal fulfillment, but they've got to do that with themselves first to then express that. Same with their marriages, same with their work or business. But first and foremost, yeah, we start with the dad. And when we start with that man, we start to break down those limiting beliefs and exposing him to what's possible. All of a sudden, we open them up to a whole new world, don't we, mate? Because too often, like you said, these guys, they don't actually see what they want. They know what they don't want. We call the pink elephant rule, sort of rdm. They spend too much time focusing on the pink elephant. It's in the room, but they're just focused on that. It's like, okay, well, let's give that 10% of effort. All right, what don't we want? What's the alternative? Because that's real. But then what do we want? Let's double down on that. And then let's. Let's focus a large portion in the now to actually executing, to move towards what we do want instead of focusing what we don't. And if you don't even put any effort or energy into actually focusing and visualizing what that looks like for you, life's going to take over for you, mate. That's what happens, you know, if you're not in the driver's seat, controlling where you want to go. Life will push you to wherever life and you expose yourself to in your different environments, people, places and things that ultimately a lot of the times might leave these men yet without fulfillment, content, happiness, or there's a void that's been filled because I feel like it's a whirlwind. They don't have any control at all. When we're looking at control, it's all about different metrics and I guess I'd love for you to share and maybe if you'd obviously share. I've touched on the HIV and a few different things, but what are some of the things that we do in terms of data tracking graphs and things on the back end that we're happy to obviously offer some insight and share a bit with these guys? It gives us that connection and that snapshot not to go, oh, he messaged me and said everything's okay. What's the actual data and what we track, and then the results from that, mate, not just initially, but with the flow too, over time.

Like you said, we've obviously got the heart rate variability, we've got the oura ring, which tracks things like your temperature, your sleep, all that sort of stuff. So that's tangible data that we can use because we might feel okay, but if the data is saying something else, we may need to pull back a little bit that day, you know, and that's obviously something that we manage ourselves within the coaching group, but we also track weekly what the guys, what their feelings are, what their emotions are, where they're winning, where they're losing. So it gives us a tangible data that's really concrete, but it also gives us a feel for what the dad's going through. And you combine those two things, because if you just work on data alone, that's one thing, but if you're not connected to that data, it's hard. And then if you only live in the area of your feelings and your emotions, that could also send you down the wrong path as well. So we use both of those to really combine to get a really good picture of where the dad's at week to week. And as we all know as fathers, you can have a great week and then the next week you can feel like shit. So it's really key to go, okay, why, you know, if I'm feeling good, why am I feeling good? And over a consistent amount of time when I have really good scores so we obviously get the dads to score themselves in family, self and service and how they're traveling. And we can look at that data over a long period of time and say, okay, well, when I'm winning, what are the actions I'm taking that help me win? And when I'm losing, conversely, not losing, but when I'm having challenges, what do they look like and what am I doing about them? Even myself. Only a few weeks ago, I was having a really flat period and I couldn't quite work out why. And I was looking at all my data and I still couldn't quite put my finger on it. And all it came down to was I was getting a bit complacent. So, you know, having my night rider overnight, making sure I'm getting enough sleep, all those little things that I was doing that was, were helping me keep in front, I just kind of pulled back a little bit without even realizing it. But going back through my data, I looked at that and went, okay, there's the, there's the key. That's the one thing that I did that just made that little shift and then bang, straight back onto it. So for us as coaches, we've obviously got the experience and knowledge to look at that and go, okay, we can read between the lines a little bit, especially with the feelings and emotions of where the dads are at. We can read between the lines and say, you might be feeling this, but have you tried this? And then, you know, obviously everyone's different. So we can then start to look at strategies. Okay, well, we know that over a consistent amount of time and we've had dads that just, you know, go from having really high scores to bang. They've dropped scores by 50%. Oh, shit. What's going on? So straight away, the coaching team will get in touch, what's happening, mate? And really have that conversation. Okay, let's talk it through. What are the actions and all those different variables to pinpoint something? Okay, awesome. We know the issue now. Let's look at strategies to work our way forward. So it's really just to sum that up, it's really looking at the data and all that, that concrete, tangible stuff to then build a connection to the thoughts and emotions to then I guess, re engage, recommit to all those actions that are actually going to get a result.

What do you think is the greatest benefit or result from that rhythm? Like we're building this rhythm 6 months, 12 months, 18 months, like that compound interest, man in being invested for the man's life to The T, what do you see? And have you seen it? And then do foresee over 5, 6, 8 years for these men, as opposed to joining a fucking gym for six months or getting someone that just coaches and sends emails.

I guess the biggest thing is direction. Like we spoke about earlier, it's finding where you want to go, but it's just consistently building it. We know. I mean, you look at the share market as a perfect example, and I guess the analogy there is you look at, you buy shares over the amount of time that might go up, it might go down, it might go up, but over time it will consistently build to a result. And I think a lot of the times, especially as fathers, we have those bad weeks and we have those down weeks, but if we're not in a program like this or we're not doing something consistently, we just go, it's a shit week. I'll just put a line through whatever I'm doing and then shelve it and then go back to doing what I was doing, which was pretty much fuck all. So it's just building, like you said, interest over time, that compounding, that's the key because it's just continually building on what works. And then even myself 18 months ago, looking at myself now to where I was then, I wouldn't have, even if you'd asked me 18 months ago where I would be, this would not be it. Because I didn't have that belief and that just consistent building over time. I didn't do anything crazy. I just went, okay, what are things that work and then continually build over that. And then, I mean, we look at guys in the group and some of the results they've had are just phenomenal. And these are guys that are slow starters, but they've just. Something's turned in them and they've just got a result and then went, okay, cool, awesome. I've got that little result. And what's the next result? What's the next result? And just continually, just built and built and built over time. And I guess they unlock that potential in themselves, which is awesome for us to see. We see guys and we have conversation about guys. We, oh, this guy might struggle or this guy's going to absolutely kill it. And the most pleasing thing for me is guys that you think may struggle and may take a little bit longer just have massive wins and massive breakthroughs. And, you know, you see them, the wins they have, the family stuff and all those results, they're just amazing. And from the outside looking in, and I was always a skeptic and I think we covered this in my first podcast is I was very skeptical about, you know, quick fixes, and a bloke jumps on Facebook and says, oh, I'm going to get you this, this, and this. And I was super skeptical. And for me to take that leap was a big thing. But being on the inside, I actually get to see that it's not bullshit, it's actually real. And that's amazing for us as coaches to see that and actually have that confirmation that this is a real thing and this is actually changing people's lives.

Oh, man, this is fucking legit, like you wouldn't believe. And a lot of the guys who listen to this, they might. You guys might listen to watch this and be like, yeah, I want this. You know, I want this, or I want to be part of it. I want to do it one day or now's not the time. That sort of stuff. That's cool. It's not a want. You fucking need this. Like, people don't realize, men in the modern world, where we're at the chaos and the whirlwind of life, they need this because what we are, Adam, especially what you've explained here. And I popped a couple of notes, so obviously you can keep it fresh, because that was an amazing piece you shared off the back of yourself, getting phenomenal results both on the inside. And then as a coach, now it's stability, like men through the chaos of the whirlwind. Who's there to be strong for them? Who's there to be that sounding board? And then off the back of the last podcast I did with the only fad you should invest in, Focus, accountability, direction, it's fucking bang on, man. Because when these guys are filling in their monthly tabs, their weekly temples, when they have that cadence of rhythm, and then we are the reflection or the sounding board or the mirror to them going, hey, remember this? Remember this is what you want, this is what you desire. Let's move to here. Let's do that, let's do that. It brings them back into alignment and focus. That's why our four pillars, Alignment, energy, immersion, performance, they all play a fucking critical role, man, and we must continually reinvest in them. You need to. I need to. We all need to. You help me remember and realign. I'm accountable to you guys. I'm accountable to the coaching team. I'm accountable to the dads on the inside as well. To go, okay, fuck, what am I actually focusing on? What's my mitt? What's My mitt for the tribe. What's my mitt for? Fathers who actually fucking need this. And we need to keep peppering away and showing them. This is what we do. Here's the transparency. This is where your life can go. This is how we can change it. And one of those large ways is obviously through podcasts like this. I love it. Like, the amount of fathers who connected through this, they start to understand that, hey, it is possible, even greater than a championship team. That stability, it's a powerful thing, man, because what that does is it takes away a lot of the heavy lifting that's draining. And I'm sure you'll agree with the mental capacity that just gets drained throughout the day of putting out fires with the kids, with the misses, with your work or business, and then with your friends or family, social settings, with your environment, with yourself, your own little voice inside the self sabotaging all that shit is draining, man. Like, that's just. It's chronic fatigue. Like, some of you guys listening to this, you probably feel a level of chronic fatigue. Trust me. And we'll get Ken next week talking about this. It's not your fucking adrenal glands. It's what's going on in the inside, which a large portion of that is literally sparking your belief systems to elevate your state and different shifts in your energetic output. And that's not energetic in terms of the gym. It's literally your focus. And then bringing that to line of accountability. And then, like you said, that direction, like, how critical do you think direction is when we're actually tracking the right marks and metrics between going one degree left over 10,000 miles and being in the completely fucking different country or being.

Home where you want to be, it's massive. It's everything. And that's where I think one of the best things we've done is create that journal, the high performance journal, because it does. It realigns so we can look at, okay, what's personally, what's my monthly goal? And then every day I can fill that journal, and it takes five minutes. And I know that the actions I'm taking today move me towards that. And we talk about, you know, that mental energy. And the beauty of that is we're focusing on our most important things every day. So I've only got a finite amount of energy mentally to bring to bear every day. So I make sure I focus on the most important things. So I've knocked them out of the park. So I've nailed those tasks. Excuse me, I've Nailed those tasks. So then anything else on top of that that I get done is gravy. It's awesome. But if I've only completed those three tasks and it's family, self and service, so I'm making sure that I'm hitting all three of those areas. As long as I hit those three areas every day, anything else I do on top of that, awesome. But I know that I've achieved something. So it gives me momentum, it gives me accountability, it gives me consistency, it gives me structure. All those things to move me forward. And people think, and this is a massive myth in our lives and especially as fathers, they think they need to go and work 14 hour days and just absolutely nail themselves. And I was like that. I used to work in production and operations and I'd often work 14, 16 hour days and just absolutely flog myself. And yet when I look back over the end of the week, I think haven't really achieved anything because I was working really hard, but I was very aimless. And that's the key is working out what are the things I can do. And it doesn't have to be a huge thing. And we've had these conversations with, with the fathers, you know, what's your most important thing is finding out what your most important thing is. You know that. And then it gives you direction. And it doesn't have to be anything major. It could literally be I need to sit down with my wife and kids tonight and come up with a family plan for the week. So it might only take five minutes, but it'll give, it'll leverage that time to give you the best result and then you build on that. So, you know, and all those little micro wins just continue to build from there. And that's why I think the journal is amazing, you know, in whatever form, like we're not going to go and tell everyone you have to go and buy a journal and do it. But in any way you can. You know, I guess structure your day around working out what your most important thing is and then executing that. You're going to get some good wins and you're going to see good results from that.

Yeah, yeah. And when you connect to it, because these journals are so specific, that father connection, then volume, volume of that connection, man. And like you said, it changes. Like that's why leadership's hard. It's after the fact. There's a lot of unknowns, there's little leaps, there's big leaps that we need to take as men. One of my mitts this week for myself Was actually sitting down with the misses going, hey, let's block out the week ahead. This is where I'm going to take the kids to the park. This is your free time with none of the kids. This is our time together. This is my time together. Sorry. This is my time individually on myself and this is what I need to do with work. And then when we put that out, we've got a board at home. Yeah, it was structured, but it's not like it's something that's boring or mundane. It's like, okay, we've got freedom now. We don't have to think anymore. We don't have to carry it. We don't have to carry the weight of all these different thoughts and try and remember or write down a fucking 40 item to do list to go, oh, shit, I got to do this, I got to do that. The week gets away from us. That's a powerful thing, man. Like that connection to what you're invested in to move yourself forward is ultimately going to be replaced if you don't focus on this with a disconnect to that, which means you've got other connections. What you say yes, you say no to something else and vice versa. So something else is going to run your day. Something else is going to come in and create an even bigger fucking whirlwind. And your hands can't handle it and there's chaos. And then before you know it, during the storm. This is what I love, man. And it's not, you know, it's not like we're definitely not trying to, you know, become, you know, a bland or basic commodity with all different bits and pieces. But when you and I are developing DAD strong and building out an entire, really an E commerce platform to give dads their training gear, their equipment, their apparel, these are multiple touch points of remembrance of who they are. Just like the shirt I'm wearing. Just like the hat you've gone on. Just like the jump you've got, Just like this wristband, Just like this skincare product and stuff. We're coming out for fathers so they don't look like shit, they won't feel like shit. Let's look after your face. But what is it? It's symbolism. Just like this drink bottle, just like this journal, just like your weekly temples, all these touch points always just like these rings. All of a sudden what you're left with, just like the nighttime tea that we're creating, what you're left with is dozens and dozens of touch points to go. That's right. That's who I am. That's who I fucking am. That's who I am. And when you continually remember that and remind yourself of that, you then negate or nullify the little voice inside that goes, nah, you're not, you're not a high performance father, mate. Well, you're not, you know, look at you, you look fucking old. You've got wrinkles or that. You can't even organize your shit together. You don't even have a diary or a journal. Yeah, that's what it's for. Like, whilst, whilst this skincare line, face of fathers that we're developing is awesome. It works amazingly. I've used it for a couple of months now. It's remembrance in the bathroom with the supplements in the kitchen. You know, this is what builds momentum, man. And then when we couple that into the data and what we track, like you said, facts and feelings are both important. Because if all we did was stick with the facts, what you enter is a robotic state where you lack depth. You lack depth and purpose in life. And at times, yeah, you don't need to think just do I get that. But then on the flip side, if all we focused on was emotions or the feelings, then what it becomes is a bit of an illusion where we create stories internally and that might not be the truth externally. How do we mix two where we can check our stories and our feelings, that's what drives the life. But check them against a certain set of relevant facts and go, okay, that marries up, does it? What do we need to do to bridge that gap? Because that is what life is. Because when you're looking at facts and feelings, actually it's interesting. I just had this revelation just then. That's what I love about this stuff, facts and feelings. What it actually is is it's the internal and the external world. Isn't that crazy? I haven't even thought of that, man, this whole fucking time. And you guys have listened or followed us for a while, we see that. And you know, I'm always talking about internal reality, external reality. What's your vision? Goals, okay, what's your physical actions? Make it happen in here, make it happen out there. It's actually what that is, the facts and the feelings. It's. It's connecting the dots of the inside and the outside. That's. Fuck, there you go. Like just looking at this journal now, you know, Alignment, energy, immersion, tracking your score. Did you lead with action, influence others, nourish, move, restore the body? Are you stealing significant and have that self value in your actions? Did you do what you said you were doing? Family in self, in service. Like, it's really bridging that to go, you know what? I'm going to connect as best as I can with control and certainty to create freedom in my life. What I believe my internal reality is and what that's saying to what's actually happening out there in the real world. And that's a powerful thing, man.

Yeah, absolutely. And that's the funny thing. It's also, it's finding out what the sweet spot between those two are, because everyone's different. So some guys, and we've seen them as, they're just so data driven and anything that exists in their head has to exist in data or they don't believe it. And then other people live so much in their head and they don't necessarily look at data at all. So it's finding out what works for the individual. And that's where having that cross section of all these different touch points is really good for us, because we can, you know, we can take someone that's very data driven and go, okay, cool, here's the data and actually delve into that and then go, here's the feelings and emotions around that. And conversely, we can take someone that does live in their head a lot. And I'm one of those people, you know, anxiety, depression, a really big history that is. Okay, all of these things are going in my head. What does the data actually show? That back that up. And I now have that ability to look at that myself, but some people don't. So as coaches, we can then sit there and go, okay, what are the feelings you have? What are the anxieties? All these, all these things. And what does the data actually show? And, you know, because they, they might think, oh, I'm failing, I'm doing this, that and that. And it's like, hang on, the data is actually showing you winning and trying to build that connection between the two and work back and forth between them to find out what's real. And we don't always get it right. And this is the, this is the funny thing, even with what we're doing, is people from the outside will look at and go, there's one answer or there has to be one answer. There's no such thing as one answer. And that's what we just look at and go, okay, what's working and what's not working? Let's try these things and give them time to work or not work. Okay, awesome. This is working. That's not working.

All right.

Now where do we build from that? And for us, that's why it's a 12, 18, 24 month program, because it's finding what works and there's no cookie cutter approach and it's finding a structure and a system that's the same for everyone that gets the different result for everyone. Which is really, it's really tough because we need to constantly evolve our program, our systems and everything we're doing, we just, we constantly evolving to meet the needs of the individual father.

This is the value, man. Exactly what you said then. This is the value of having a vision from what we're actually creating to go this is where we're going. And we keep going, we keep resetting that and continually build and grow. And you can't remove that, man. You can't take away those listening to this. You cannot take away the human element. It's why templates and fucking training templates and nutrition plans you can download from search engines and you know, 200,000 followers on some Instagram fucking celebrity just posting, just buy my fucking ebook. None of that shit will work. If they're not invested in your life, they must like coaching, real coaching. This is why real coaching works. And we all need that. You need it, I need it, we all need it because you have someone who's invested when it's real, proper, the highest standard in the right areas, completely in your life. And when you have that mate, yeah, you're right, there is no one fit like it's going, okay, what do we need to do? We're connected and investing your life to tweak and adjust as we need to in certain areas, certain elements. And then when you have that level of connection, you build an intrinsic awareness. This is something that data can never show, but that's the human element. You build intrinsic awareness that then does become a better set of data and facts down the track because obviously we get results, but you know how to leverage that. There are some guys in the group where I'm incredibly passive and a very soft approach with these men and they need that, they need that, that subtle challenging of going, hey man, this is where you're at, let's move here, let's take this. There are other guys where I'm incredibly aggressive and people will think almost arrogant, rude. They fucking love it. They live off that, man. So being able to adapt yourself, it's not changing who I am and who my identity is. It's changing the energy and the energetic expression to connect. You can't have that man. If you try and Strive to have fucking 20,000 in some sort of group or you're just going out and putting out a program where you get email support and like we're invested in these guys lives every single day, every single day like that, that's critical. And you know what, what do you see as obviously being I guess the alternative if you don't have that, mate, people who either don't have that or they go into quick fix programs or they actually try and go out alone or they become the lone wolf, what happens? I guess they're blind, they're in the dark, they can't see well.

That's right. And for some people that may work, but for the vast majority, myself included, it doesn't. And that was where I was at two years ago. I was relatively high achieving, I was in a great job, but I just wasn't, didn't know where I was headed. So it was very aimless. You know, you get up and you just go through the day, you do the best you can and you go to bed and you wake up again. And for some people that's all they know. And you know, and if they, if, I mean, I don't want you, I know what you're like. But when I was growing up that was just what you did. And a lot of people, that's just what you do. And then you get to 40, 50, 60 years old and you look back and go, what could I have achieved? And that's the, I think that's the biggest thing for me is I don't want to go through life wondering what if? And that's the biggest thing for me is looking at, okay, what can I achieve? You know, I'm sitting here looking at, I might go to uni in a couple of years when my kids are a little bit older. And that's something I never thought I would do. But for us it's working out what you can achieve. And I think if you don't have that direction, you don't have that team in your corner, you just continually knock yourself on the head, you tall, poppy yourself. Because you just can't think of what you can achieve and what the potential is. And don't get me wrong, there are some people out there that can do it alone. There are, but they're probably less than 1%. And we look at the Richard Branson's and all those guys and they look at them and go, oh look, they did it. And so yeah, awesome. But are you them? If you are, great, awesome. But if you're not what can you do? Well, who can you surround yourself with? How can you change your environment? How can you change your processes to actually achieve what you want to? Because, I mean, how many times do we hear in conversations that I was going to do this, but I didn't, or I could have played afl, but I did my knee, or I could have done this, but I didn't for whatever reason. Fuck the reasons. You know, if you want to achieve something, have a real red hot crack and if you get there, awesome. If you don't, okay. But at least you know looking back, that you've given it the best, you've given yourself the best opportunity. And I think that's, that's the key, you know, looking back, and I know you've mentioned plenty of times in podcasts in different areas, but the biggest regret you're going to have is if you look back and think, what if? And why didn't I have a crack? And that's, for me, that's the scariest thought of looking back on my life and thinking I should have been a better father or I could have had this job, or I could have done this with my life, but I didn't because I just, I didn't do it. I didn't believe myself or I didn't take the action. And that's, that's what I never want to look back on my life and think of.

Yeah, man, absolutely. That's probably the worst thing I could ever think of. Ads and, you know, even guys, and it's great examples of some of those guys who really get after it and they create phenomenal changes in their life, in the world. And Branson is a perfect example. I look at those men and I'm like, you know what? They still would have immersed in certain environments to give them not necessarily the coaching, but to give them the perspective to go, fuck, why not get after it? Why not go for it? That's the challenge. When you do go it alone and look, everyone will have a different and a unique experience in their life, whether it is something like creating Virgin or other different fucking enterprises. But really when I look at this, I'm like, well, what can we do to change our perceptions on what our limiting beliefs are? And rarely that comes from within. It's someone else's exposure, influence. No, no, no. What about this? Some of our dad's and perfect example. I know this is not where we're at in terms of fitness program, but I'd be like, I'm 110. I'd love to get down to 100. I'm like, hang on a minute. Your weight, height, where you used to be, why not 90? Like, just like that, straight away. That's a perfect example of going, yeah, a little bit of result is, okay, I'll take that, I'm content. It's like, none of that. This is what we can do and this is where we can go. And the biggest thing is, mate, look what we're talking about with regret and whatnot. You got nothing to lose if you take action now. You've got everything to lose if you don't. If you don't take any action. That's the crazy part with life, man. It really is power, environment and tracking the right things, giving you that accountability and direction. It's epic, man. And I love doing this, obviously love having you as part of the team, too. And what we see and what we grow, continually adapt. Because as we continually chase and hunt the next best thing in terms of serving these men and finding that linchpin or the one area where we can continually refining it better, you and me continually make breakthroughs as well as the other coaches. Ah, that's the fucking one. Let's go here, let's go there. It's not a mistake per se, it's a learning experience to go, fuck, that was good. Now this is great. We're moving towards this and this is actually becoming a great and effective result. It might be efficient to do this one, but let's get more effectiveness out of this and then make it efficient. So the father, with what he values and should value most, time and energy is being spent and well worth spending and investing in that, because you know what, he's in good hands. And that's the big thing. Matt, I guess as we start to slowly wrap this up, like, none of us have time to fuck around. Adam, if you're a father listening to this and you're 46 years of age, if you use only half of what you've already used, you're nearly 70, you're 69. Yet on the flip side, some of our fathers, Chris had a great example, had a heart attack a few years ago, yet here he is in his early to mid-50s and just moving forward and crushing life, having down periods and then lifting up again because he's got the tribe and the coaches and working through challenges, personal family circumstances. I know his daughter, she hurt herself and then now she's getting back in recovering and he's back on top. And without the data and being able to track that and the coaches coming in and helping and so assisting. A lot of these men just dwindle off on their own. Whereas we have some fathers in their early 50s where they're like, I still got fucking 30 to 40 years out. I'm ready to fucking. I'm ready to hit that next step. And that's. That's epic, man. Like, that's inspiring. Compared to people who might be in their 30s who are just fucking waning through life and wasting. Like, that's. I guess that's what I can't stand, man. Waste wastage. It's. It's a dangerous thing. Yeah.

I feel so grateful that I found RDM when I did. You know, I'm only 37 and I look at. Even in my 20s, I basically wasted my 20s getting on the Pierce. And I wouldn't say I regret it, but I also look at financially, emotionally, physically, that was wasted time that I could have been improving myself. Yeah, I had a great, great time, had a lot of fun. But it wasn't until I sort of hit my 30s that I really sat back. And when I had kids and looked at, I went, what do I need? What do I need to achieve? Who do I need to be to actually win in life? And, you know, I didn't get my license till I was 27 because I was too busy fucking around. You know, I had major anxiety. And I used to have people that were really close to me saying, oh, Matt, you're so switched on. You should be doing this, you should be doing that. And I worked in a warehouse till I was late 20s, and it wasn't until I was a bit old until I got to that point where I went, oh, hang on, I could be a team leader. And then within five years, I was an operations manager in charge of 60 to 80 people. But for so long, I just didn't believe and just tall poppied myself. And that's the key for me is just, you know. And then obviously, a couple of years ago, I found rdm. So it was finding ways to open myself up to what I could actually achieve. And I suppose that's the biggest takeaway for me out of all of this is how often we just knock ourselves on the head and don't open ourselves up to opportunities. And like, we just touched on. That's going to be the biggest regret in your life if you don't open yourself up. And looking at guys that are in their 50s that have probably lived that way for a long time now, going, well, shit, what can I do? Yep, that time's done. I may not have used it as well as I could, but now I've got all this time in front of me to use and I might only have, you know, you can get hit by a bus tomorrow. So I may only have a very finite amount of time. What can I do with it? You know, what connections can I build my family? How do I, how do I leverage what I have to get a good result, not just for me, but for everyone around me?

Yeah, man, and this is the thing, like this is why we love the guys as they enter in second, because you can be resilient regardless of what you do in your 20s, but when you're 30s, what happens is between the 12 to 15 year mark, which is generally 40 to 50, they've just been beaten and pulled down so much. That's when the relationships break down, that's when divorce happens, that's when their kids, they start to separate. They don't even have that connection or respect. That's where they don't respect themselves anymore. I just see it like it's such a pattern even though every father's individual, it's such a pattern where it's like that 12 to 15 year mark fucking day, they just fall apart. It's like they can hold, they can hold, hold. And even though put on the brave face, all that sort of shit, rubbing their eyes, head buried in their hair and then bang, it's like they're fucking broken. And that's sad, man, it is, but it doesn't have to be that way.

Yeah, and that's right, that's right. I mean, we see the comments on the ads occasionally where, you know, you'll be talking about marriage and guys taking control of their own lives and you see the comments, oh, what about a real mum's movement? Why doesn't the mother take responsibility, responsibility and all those sorts of things. And for me, the biggest takeaway that is you're still shifting the blame. And whether it's a blame game, you know, we would talk about you are the solution and you can be the problem and that's. But all comes back to the individual. And that's what I find funny is so many of us live in a world where we're happy to shift. You know, the missus won't let me go out or the missus won't let me do this or I've got the kids today so I can't do anything. So straight away you're taking a potentially positive thing where you've got a wife, you've got a Family, you've got all these great things in your life, but you're turning it into a negative. So in that mindset, you're never, ever going to win because you're always looking at, how am I restricted by my family? I mean, at times my family life can be really tough. I've got two kids on the autism spectrum and I've got three kids under seven. So there's challenges, but I welcome those challenges. And it sounds a bit trite, but there's always someone worse off. There's always someone in a worse position than you. But if all you're focused on going back to our focus, if all you're focused on is the negatives, yeah, the kids aren't sleeping, so we're not getting as much sleep, you know, and if I don't even sit back and look at it, okay, what can I do about this to actually get the sleep I need? I'm just shifting blame and I'm just shifting the responsibility to someone else. And if you do that for long enough, like you said, that 10 to 15 years, if you shift that responsibility long enough, of course you're not going to get any respect because you don't respect yourself. You're not taking control of what you can control. And yes, there are relationships that are toxic and that don't work, but you need to be aware as well to say, well, maybe I need to control myself and remove myself from the situation and being, I guess, strong enough in yourself to do that, but only you can actually make that decision. But it's respecting yourself enough to make the right decision for you and build on your relationships. Not just, well, I've got a Mrs. But I'll just go around, do the dirty honour and drink at the pub four nights a week. Well, you can control that. You're the engineer of your own destiny in that regard. And really having that, like we talk about holding that mirror up and saying, okay, what are the actions I'm taking that probably aren't conducive to a good relationship and what can I change? And yes, some, most of the time your partner is going to come along with you and recognize that you're doing the best you can and taking action. Sometimes they don't, and that's okay, you know, you can't then go, well, I've done the best I can, so fuck you. You've still got to build and you still got to work on, okay, what's best for me. And as a result, what's best for my relationships and my family.

Yeah, Couldn't agree more, man. And yeah, some of the crack ups get cracked up over some of the comments. Sorry. And some of the abuse. But you know, ownership and responsibility is so liberating. That's the thing. That's really. Some of these guys don't fucking get mates liberating because it puts you back in the driver's seat. The question is, how long are you holding that for? Do you have endurance in holding that frame of mind of ownership and responsibility? And you're right, not every. This isn't like for 100% of marriages there's always going to be different, specific, unique cases. But more often than not for a larger majority, if you put your hand up and go, nah, she's fucking crazy. This, this. And it's like, okay, where the fuck were you for the last 15 years? What did you do to invest in yourself so that you could have a better way to diffuse the situation? To not be triggered, to not add fuel to the fire, to take the heat when you needed to for the kids, to give her time and then to also communicate what you need. Did you communicate what you actually fucking needed? Right as well? Instead of just suppressing, all of a sudden it falls apart. And that's where guys are like, yeah, you know, like it's, it just becomes a big gray area where they condition their mind. Which is why I love what we do and how we track and trend the data over the long game. Because part of our scores are around connection, tech, free time, clarity, communication, creating space for yourself. Actually all of this actually hones in specifically and individually on the man. That's what I love about this, these rings, fucking everything. It's on the man and helping him and then everything else that's connected to him. And it's not in a narcissistic way or solipsism where he's the one man in the entire universe, the whole world is around him. But it's literally going well. You're a father to your kids, so they're connected to you. Your husband, your wife, she's connected to you. You're a man to yourself. That mirror, what you're looking at is connected to you. Same with your work and your business. So it's a very powerful thing. This is the thing as we. And it's been an awesome episode with you, mate. Like as we wrap up, I want you guys to really understand this. Like we want to put it in sport terminology and sporting terms. Think of it like this. You know, you've got statisticians, you've Got scoreboards. You've got, you know, your halfback or you've got your full forward if you want to talk AFL terms, because that's your game, mate. You're your centers, but this is it. We are. We're your coach. We're your assistant coach. We're your statistician. We're your scoreboard. We're the fucking ball that you're kicking around and going, this is the quality that you can fucking hit, and this is what you need to get a hold on. And we can be that with them for you. Take some of our. Take some of our juice and use it. Fucking drive it down the field. We are the playing field. We are the lines as well. We are the goalposts. We are your teammates. You know, where the fucking strapping around your socks fall down. Like when we cover every element of a man's life in a championship team, this is the game. The game has changed, though. That's what guys need to understand. You need to evolve and adapt. And while some of our stuff has foundations and principles that are very solid and sand, a lot of the stuff we do, Adam, is actually unconventional to what we've been conditioned to on a just dismissive or head under, sweep things under the carpet, head in the sand type way, where it's like, hey, let's fucking open up and explore and shoot to the top in these areas. And that's. That's powerful, man. When you have all those spats, it's. You can't fucking lose. You can't lose the game, mate. You will win. That's right.

And that's the thing. And like we said, it's working out what winning looks like for you. And that's where we help as well. We go, okay, what game do you want to play? And that's the beauty of it, because people spend a lot of time playing a certain game or playing a certain role, and it's not what they're suited for, and then it's not where they want to be. And that's the beauty of it. We'll go, okay, let's work out what game you want to play first. And then we go, all right, now how do we win? Which I think is amazing. And honestly, I know we're in the circle, but I've never seen anything like it that does so many different touch points. You know, you can go to a psychologist, you can go to a dietitian, you can go to a physio, you can go to a trainer, and you'll get all these little things but this is the only place I've seen that actually you get touch on everything, which is just. Yeah, for me. Amazing.

Yeah. I love it, man. It's fucking so exciting. And for those listening, like, well, it's not that we turn our own horn. We're just confident in our approach because we've done it and we're doing it. And that's why I don't mind having this transparency now as well, mate. To be fair, years ago, I used to be a little bit jade and protective of our, I guess, our IP and whatnot. But it's like, man, they want a model or they're inspired or copy. Awesome. That's great. Like, we'll have certifications one day. That will help coaches who want to coach fathers under their own brand. Hey, this is. You want to be a high performance father coach? This is actually. This is how you do it. And that's cool. Like, I don't mind if they want to take. I don't say steal, but if they want to take and use and all that, that's great. But by the time they've implemented it, we've already evolved and changed again. And that's what I love about this. We continually reach for the top. And it's exciting, man, because you can't fucking miss. You cannot move what we're doing and how we continually have our finger on the pulse in helping these men. You can't miss. But awesome having you on today, mate. I really enjoyed this HBF episode. I would have bagged Ken out, but I think he's starting to listen to these. So the episode a few weeks ago, I'm afraid next time Ken comes up, he might headbutt me or something.

Yeah, well, he doesn't know where I live, so I could probably. I'd be too scared of him anyway.

What a great man. Bucky's an amazing energy coach, man. It's incredible what he's added to the tribe as well. But great having you on, man. Thanks for joining us and I hope you guys got a lot of value out of this and enjoy this episode. And make sure you tune in for some more throughout the week. And above all else, like we say, find the nuggets inside of this, listen to it again if you need to, and then apply some action or apply a better understanding towards the action you need to take. And then just plan, just execute. Like I said, you have nothing to lose if you take action. Right now. You've got everything to lose, which you will if you don't. Thanks again for joining us, Ad. It's awesome having you, man.

Cheers, Al. Much appreciated.

Cheers, guys. Thanks, mate.

1,000 minutes a day. It's a lot. But when you're wasted on shit that doesn't serve you or move yourself or your family forward, you are bleeding. The most valuable resource that you and I never get back. How much time do you think you have and how much quality do you think you've had? Don't be a fool like the masses thinking you'll cheat the system or get round to it one day or worse. Just accepting life and sinking back into a slumber of regret. This is your moment, your time. You're cut from a different cloth. You have the hunger and desire to be more and live more. I otherwise you wouldn't be here. So stand up, find the golden nuggets in this episode you just listened to and align immediate action with them and where you want to go. You are worthy. This is your life. You are the king and this is your kingdom. Now go and claim it by showing, not telling and be the real leader you and I both know you were born to be.