124. DDQ - David Doesn't Quit

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement podcast. The point and purpose of these episodes, as always, is to have a point and purpose towards helping you win the second half in life by building a path of becoming the best father, husband, man and member of your community that you can be. We do this with various ways of connecting. Life is connection. And as you hear these words spoken time and time again, know that the driving force of connection in life is energy. Which means that how you turn up as a father, as a husband, as a valued member of society will always start and end with how you turn up as a man within yourself. First, this is why it's my mission, my purpose, our mission, our purpose through Real Dad Movement to inspire, motivate, educate, and guide you into thoughts, feelings, actions, and a change in your belief systems to rise up, cut the shit from your life, and live and leave a real legacy. When dads win, everyone wins. And when you win, I win. Let's get moving forward, mate. Right here, right now.

It's a weird thing, you know, the origin of the handshake is the fact that you would show somebody you weren't carrying a weapon. And even with this Covid, we can't even shake hands, you know. So it's great that you were able to achieve that, particularly through 2020, to get those blokes together. I was only saying to somebody the other day that whenever I'm at a wedding and I see a stranger either at the bar or at the. You know, wherever it is, and I say, everyone loves a wedding. And that stranger says, oh, yeah, don't you? And then you've instantly bonded. Now you mates with that bloke or that. That person for the rest of the evening, and you carry that relationship on. And I think it's that breaking down of the barriers. You know, I remember when I first met you, I would have called you a gentle giant. Not from the perspective of. Of the fact you weren't a tough bloke, because you certainly were. You're in the midst of the men's fitness tough bloke challenge I think we. We called it at the time. But for mine, the idea that your sheer size you didn't use to intimidate people, but to ingratiate people. And I think that was a very. The thing that appealed to me the most about your character was that as a big bloke, you just weren't, like, throwing your weight around. You're actually just a really nice. You know, you could be 30 kilos less and 30 kilos more, and you'll still be the same bloke from a mental and a character perspective, which is a good, good thing to be as a man. I reckon.

That's a, that's a great way to start our podcast, Dave. Thank you, sir. Thank you for the accolades. I'll never say no to that, but. Oh, mate, yeah, it's. I'll tell you what, we will start with that. How's that? I'm excited for this episode, Dave. I want you guys out there. If you're gonna watch this on YouTube or listen to this, make sure you really have complete presence and kickback for what's going to be a phenomenal episode. I just want to say a big shout out to David Lee, who I've known for many years and we've kept some form of connection. Originally it was at what Dave was just sharing, then the Fitbloke Challenge, which was an amazing event I really enjoyed and we built this connection and bond and I felt like it was just, I don't know, mate. I felt like I'd known you for so long. And just to give a bit of a background backdrop before we dive into Dave's life, because some of the value and wisdom you've already shared with me, mate, in some of our recent conversations, they're the little top ups. We need Dave to make sure that we get out of our own way and don't become either a victim or someone who self sabotages in a world where you know what we can be. Our biggest critical, we can be perfectionists or really pull ourselves down from the possibilities. But those listening to this, Dave is one of 10 children growing up in the Blue Mountains, currently 53 years of age and looks amazing. Like, look at it, mate, you're a bloody powerhouse and, you know, very inspirational and I've always seen our paths coming together and I know that there's going to be something we continue to explore together on a bigger level at some stage. But there are life stages and you talk about life cycles and we'll dive into lifestyles and all different moving parts. But it's awesome having you, Dave. This is an episode I wanted to do for a long time, actually. I wanted you to be one of my first, you know, three years ago. Yes, yes. But you know, Dave has had over 20 years in the media industry in Australia. One of the most that obviously I know and recognize him for was men's fitness. But I'm sure he'll share some of the other amazing things that he's done. That's where we first connected. Dave is Living a very holistic life. And whilst sometimes, tongue in cheek, I'll make a couple of little jokes about just going and getting an accreditation to be a life coach. Dave is actually a real life coach. Like, he's got a fuckload of credentials and experience and runs on the board and you know what, practicing what he preaches. And I just love that about you, Dave. This is what enhances and influences me, surrounding myself with winners. And that's not the judgment of people, it's a recognition of their actions. You know, having a couple of daughters, the modern world, your perspective on failures, their learning curves and stepping stones to continue progressing and expanding in life. Coming from a place where, yeah, you mentioned you're relatively poor and having losses. Ddq Dave doesn't. David doesn't quit shit. I'll tell you what, mate, I should just sit back for an hour and let you just run the show and give our listeners some amazing value. But Dave, welcome to the show, mate.

Thanks, Alex. Mate, it's good to catch up with you. As I say, similarly, we talked about doing this many years ago and I remember one of the first, say, coaching sessions, I was talking to you around business plans and things like that. And quite often I would send these plans out to people and they would fill them in and they'd send them back. Well, they'd fill them in. They didn't necessarily send them back. And of all the people that I initiated this with, you were the first to come back and having completed everything. And I thought, wow. And I remember saying, listen, I don't even need to read that because it.

Was all for you.

But you had your plan so well mapped and I think there's a big difference between, you know, saying and doing in life. And quite often I'm lucky because I'll.

Write my journals and I'll write my.

Plans and things like that. And then when I look at them, I think, oh, okay, I've got to tick that off and get things done. But you're a real doer, mate. And even, you know, everything you said you would do, you've done. I was talking to a friend of ours, Darren Hitchin, the other day, who was talking about CrossFit wellbeing and, you know, the setup of that and, you know, just the gyms that you've started and you continually, I wouldn't say reinventing yourself. You're, you're growing and just continuing to add to your life in the portfolio of achievements you've done so similarly. Straight back at you. Very happy to catch up and Be in your company. I'm really proud of what you're doing. And I think we were talking earlier about the value that this could bring to your viewers and your listeners. And what you wanted to get out of that, you're right, is as much as we can contribute. And you mentioned the thing about victims or victim mentality. I've always looked at that as, excuse me, martyrs. The difference between a victim and a martyr for me is that, you know, we're all victims to a degree, but masses let it happen. So knowing that you're in a situation where you go, you know, here we go again, and. But not doing anything about it is. That's martyrdom to mind. So for mine. So I think we've each, you know, got ourselves that we've got to rely upon. And, you know, throughout the course of this, no doubt I'll drop a million quotes because I'm a reader and I remember things from a photographic perspective and I remember who said them, so that's how I remember the quote. But they seem to come in like, you know, if you're on a golf course, I can tell you five golf jokes, but I couldn't tell you one now. So it's almost like situational quotes rather than situational comedies. So, yeah. Excited for the call?

Yeah, absolutely, mate. And really appreciate the, you know, obviously the recognition of charting and following my journey and our journey and what we do, which is life is hard, mate, isn't it? And that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just like, what are we going to do about it? And a lot of the times for me, there is no alternative days. And I've had plenty of, like we talk about, people throw the words failure around, like failure pawns are an attractive thing these days. Look how much I failed and now look where I am now. I'm not a big fan of that. So I do agree with your point on it not being a failure if you continually grow and don't give up and learn from it. But there have been a lot of things where maybe I have missed the mark in retrospect. But if you continually grow, it becomes the possibility of who you can become in the next stage of the next phase. But, mate, I'd love to start one of 10. I mean, shit, man, I'd love to start with yourself, Dave, and obviously, yeah, you're being raised and a bit of your upbringing, some of the shares around that, that obviously developed into the man that you became in your 20s. And I guess starting there, mate, with that journey, I Think, mate.

Thank you.

I was very lucky. I was a middle child in 10k family.

So when I say I was very lucky, I managed to turn adversity around. So anything. As a kid, I was a bit of a victim. I was too young to do anything with the big kids and too big to do anything with the little kids from anything they did perspective. And I remember one day we all went up to Katoomba in the Blue Mountains. There used to be a bit of a fun fair setup up there and everyone got to go on this ride or that little game or whatever it was. And I just watched. And even towards the end of the day I said to my mother, I was the only one who didn't get a chance to do anything. Knowing that I could have asked any stage all day. But as the victim and a pessimist, which I was, I just waited till I missed out. My mother said, well, here you go, here's two cents. Flick it in the wishing well. That's a bit of a, kind of a joke. And you know, the wishes that I made that day was that I wish I stopped feeling sorry for myself all the time. I wish I could get on with, you know, just getting on. And I seem to when I say the wish came true. I wrote a blog recently about setting intentions because it was a full moon. And the reality of it is they're not wishes, they're goals and they're planned. So at that young age I kind of wished or planned for a better life. And yeah, within that family, you know, it was. I did, I did say I nailed the hand me downs quite well. And the idea of first in best dressed is so true. Like our school photos, we were all comparing them the other day and we'll be the kid in the class whose shirt just does not match, you know. And so one day you'd be walking in, they'd be singing Tom Jones songs to you because you're so. Your pants were so tight. And other days they'll be singing baggy trousers because. Or calling us elephant pants because they're so big, depending on what time you got up. So kids are cruel, you know, and they would call us, you know, sing the Salvation army song to us and things like that. And you develop a bit of. You either give in or you develop a bit of resilience. But you know, with six boys, we also learned how to fight, which was, you know, dad being Irish taught us all how to fight in order to look after ourselves and look after each other, not to be bullies. And I Think that's a big difference. And in the case of handling adversity, it's like a boxer. Once they train, they know they can look after themselves and they don't fight. The people that go around picking on people generally are the bullies. The biggest chest beaters I know or I've come across are the most insecure people when you really break them down. So the idea of having that preparation and knowing you can look after yourself is what I think gives you the resilience in life to go back to the basics, which are your daily routines and things like that. So yeah, as a young kid, you know, I kind of laugh about the fact that where I live now, I live in the Manly area and I we used to holiday there twice. I think when I say used to, we holiday twice because it was a late Easter and the dentist in the town gifted the holiday to my parents. We always came back with another brother or sister nine months later. But the idea of where I live now and I pay the same amount for one loaf of bread as I used to for a garbage bag full of yesterday's bread to feed the family. It's just a great life. And I think it is that what Tony Robbins calls the constant never ending improvement that if you're. And I think there's an Ernest Hemingway quote that says it's not about being better than your fellow man, it's about being better than the man you were yesterday. And so for mine it was always a growth perspective. And I. And in that wishing I had always planned to get out of the mountains and get a better lifestyle. But my first job, we used to give 90% of everything we earned anyway to my parents. So you didn't really financially. I never really got that head start from an early age. But I remember being on a train one day because you'd have to catch the early train. My first ever job as a mailboy. And I would literally get the 4:30 or so train I think it was and sleep till a guard or a cleaner woke me up at Central. And this one day a cleaner had woken me up and as I was getting off the train there was a book that somebody had left on their seats and it was called the Power of Positive Thinking. And I read that book and I started reading that book and it changed my life from the perspective of optimism and thinking well about your life and looking to every cloud as a silver lining, all that sort of business, it was a real shifter for me because I realized that it was up to me to choose. I Could choose to. One of my business cards used to say, the difference between happiness and unhappiness is choice. And I know that the only thing we have control over on the planet is how we think. And people might say, oh, you know.

That'S not completely true.

I said, yeah, absolutely. It's, you know, unless you have pre existing conditions, you can choose how you can respond to every situation you find yourself in. And, you know, if you lose a job, okay, get up, what are you gonna do? Get on with it. It's. There are so many of this. If life was easy, it'd be boring. So there are all these challenges that'll come your way. And it's the idea of going, okay, I can't quit, I can't. You can't quit. Just get up, dust yourself up, get back on with it. And in a footy match, if you get poleaxed these days, they've got the head injury assessment, but you still got to get up and get on with it because they didn't used to let you do. They didn't used to do interchange when.

I was a kid.

So I never wanted to get taken off that feel. I wanted to get back into it. And that was where you don't quit mentality kind of comes from.

Yeah, definitely. You know, the thing with what you're talking about in choice, a lot of people, and we all naturally have impulses, that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. The problem is people allow that to define the way they should be. But fear, feelings, conflict, Dave, good and bad. So I absolutely agree with you, mate. It comes down to a choice and really recognizing, okay, what do I choose? And then actually either triaging or workshopping that yourself to go, well, this is going to be the likely outcome because that's the energy that I'm investing in putting or this will be the likely outcome. And having that resilience, especially as a young bloke and having those decisions where you've gone to a point where, yes, you can defend yourself and all these different things that develop who you are, even if you don't use some of them, I find what that develops and I'm sure you'd share with your daughters as well, and growing them into confident young women is it builds that presence and confidence where you know what, don't have to use this, but I can if I need to with any area. Not just fighting as a young bloke. That's a powerful thing, mate, because that naturally draws in opportunities that people don't even realize Exist instead of being crouched over, sloppy, poor posture, and then feeling, this is the negative thing. That always happens to me. What's exactly where you're going to focus. That's what comes. But was that Les Brown, that book? Who's the author?

It was either Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, because I found I quickly, straight after that, bought another book called the Magic Thinking Big. And so one of them was by David Schwartz and the other was from Dr. Norman Vincent Peale. And where that book. In that book, it said that only 5% of the population apply for jobs paying $25,000 a year. Now, what I didn't know at the time, it was an American book, and the Australian dollar was 50 cents to the American dollar. So by comparison, it would have been that 50. Only 5% of the Australian population went for jobs that were paying probably 15,000, I don't know. But in the day, I went and bought Sydney Morning Herald, because this is well before the digital era, and I circled all the jobs in the paper that were paying $25,000 a year. And I got an interview for this, and this is how I got into media. And I had the interview and the fellow asked me a bunch of questions and everything was great. And then at the end of it, he said, okay, so how old are you? And I said, I'm 19. He said, all right, well, we'll start you on $19,000. And in my mind, it's like, no.

No, no, I got to get 25.

This is what the book says. And I had believed everything. I said, no, no, the job was for 25,000. He said, yeah, but I thought you were 25. And I said, well, but age is a congenital disease. I'm only as old as I am because of that. And then he said, well, I can't really justify that. And I said, okay. You said to me that if I don't cut it after three months, you'll sack me. And he said, yeah. And I said, well, if after three months I've exceeded all of your expectations, will you put me on the 25K? And he said, yeah. So I started the job. Now, I made $43,000 that year. And going from earning $115 a week where I would give 100 of that to my parents, because that was what gave 90% of the family plan, as it was called, to go to that sort of money came a lot of responsibility because all of my mates at that time were buying The Eunos, or RX7 was the car of the day, and they were getting Stolen, they weren't insured and they were just blowing their money on fast cars and women, so to speak, as my dad would say. And yet I was kind of slowly saving and slowly building and you know, and that to me was with an eye on the future. And I often talk about what they call future pacing. And one of the things I'll say to people is, you know, how do you view, have you ever envisioned yourself as an 85 year old man or woman? And how do you see yourself at your 85th birthday? Are you standing up in a robust nature with a nice glass of red wine, giving a good account of yourself, articulately making people laugh and being surrounded by the people that you love and have created through children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, or are they willing and unshaven and you're dribbling on yourself and those people present just waiting to get their hands on the money that you leave behind. And yeah, in March of this year, my father literally stood up and did exactly that at his 85th birthday and finished off with his, you know, great, with his attitude of gratitude, as he would say. And I thought, wow, that's, that's the plan. But the question I ask people is what are you doing now to make sure that that's the person you are when you're 85? Even in my 50s, what am I doing that I look like this at 65? What's 75 look for, look like? And I think when you have that in plan, it's the idea of being kind to your future self. Even saving is kind of like, you know, I don't want to rely upon a pension. If I don't have to, I won't have to. But the idea is I'm being kind to my retiree self even if I ever retire, because what's the point of working so hard? They say we chase. We spend the first half of our life chasing our wealth and the second half chasing back our health. And particularly for men, we do. We burn the candle at both ends and we race around here and we put up with this pressure and we kind of neglect ourselves from a self care perspective and then wonder why we get there. We get to the top of the castle and we can't bloody climb because we've wrecked ourselves in the process.

You know, it's fascinating, isn't it? That's what we talk about a lot with our guys, you know, winning the second half and the long game's quicker than you think, isn't it Dave? I mean, it goes so fast, you know, some I had one of our members the other day, he's 50, and he's like, ow. I want to make sure that I nail this. I want to do this properly, the right way and set myself up. He's like, if I use even half the time that I've already used, I'm 75. And I was like, shit, mate, that's a. And I'm all about perspective and time. But that was a great one I hadn't thought of before. I was like, fuck. You know, if you. You're right, mate. You know, if I use only half the time I've already used, I'm 75. Al. Where does that put, you know? Yeah, it's.

There's an interesting perspective. I used to say to people, I just didn't like winter. I might have alluded to it earlier on. They call it seasonal adjustment disorder or sad. And every winter I'd get to the stage, like, even now, I'm like, winter. But I remember saying to a mate of mine, I hate winter. And he said, oh, what if this was the last winter of your life? Okay, a bit of perspective. And he said, what about, you know, roast lamb, red wine, fires? And it flipped. That kind of thinking, a very optimistic way of thinking about it. But I came across this idea that as men, we live an average of 3:31 and a half thousand days. And so if you're as I am, if you'd. Minus 31,000 from my 53 years, I got about 12 and a half thousand days left on the planet based on, you know, the averages. And that's. What am I doing with those 12 and a half thousand days? Now, I would look at each day as to, okay, now I got 12,499. Do I feel good about how I spent that? You know, one of those days? And I think the idea of Bruce.

Lee said, if you love life, you'll love time, because time is what life.

Is made up of. And quite often we waste a lot of time just either in worry or inertia or planning, you know, the paralysis by analysis or whatever they say. And the idea of that for mine is like, well, get on with it. I say we say life rewards action. And the idea that you're doing things that are energetic, emotion is energy in motion. So I find, and you said it earlier on, you know how you carry yourself. For me, I say physiology, psychology. When somebody walks into a room. Coco Chanel was the one who said, when a man wears a good suit, you notice the man. When he wears a bad suit, you Notice the suit. But I think the best way to wear a suit is when you fit it properly. A tailor made suit looks good on someone who's fit. And when that person walks in, it could be an Oxford suit or whatever it is, and that person will look great in that suit, but they feel good about themselves. And that confidence within which you carry yourself is the way that you treat other people. You know, as I say, knowing that I've done all my homework and I'm the best version of myself that I can be and what can I can contribute to the people that I meet throughout the course of the day, then with that attitude of generosity or giving, I feel better about myself. Even something is something as simple as I took $50 out of a ATM one day and as I turned around there was a salvos guy there and I said, oh no, because I had $50 in my hand. And he said, oh, you want to help us out? And I said, oh mate, I do. But you know, he said, oh, you can tap and go if you like, it's a $10 setup. And I tapped this with $10 and he was so happy. And as I walked away, I thought, wow, I feel as good as I do after a massage like that $10 gift. I feel really, really good about it. And I really do believe there's a lot of Shakespeare said, the scent of the rose remains on the hand of the giver. And when you help people like you're in the, you're helping so many people, how good does it feel? You know what I mean? It's very difficult to finish a day when you know that somebody said, hey man, thanks for. I just ran 30 minutes and I've never run before in my life until three weeks ago. And you think, wow, thank you. But thank you. So it's one of those things that keeps on giving.

Absolutely, yeah. And giving. A lot of the times there are trades. Life's full of trades. We make that and having that transparency is great. But then a lot of the times giving you an expectation is actually a form of us to trade with ourself. I'm going to do this, I'm going to give this, I'm actually making trade myself. This action is going to bring fulfillment, reward, contribution to society's community, to someone else, because they may feel like they're at a lesser level with their mindset or they're in a bit of a pit or a rut and let's say, oh mate, that's the ripple effect that can really create a huge shift and A lot of the time, the recycling, the reprogramming, repatterning that we do, well, it is cyclical. And people like you explained, with winter or someone in your position, if you have 12,000 days left, not only do we lose winter, 12 and a half.

12 and a half.

12 and A half. Sorry, mate. Yeah, 12, 4, 9, 9.

I'm going for 100. So we'll see how we go.

Absolutely. Oh, mate, we know you've got more than that to take, but as an example, if someone's in the same boat and they did live the average, they're cutting almost a third away. If winter's always shit, right, every year, like, it's like, okay, well, you've actually. Because you're losing a bit in preparation for winter, you're trying to regain in spring of what you've lost and gone further back with winter. So really it cuts a third, which means for an average person, if they had 12,000, they've actually only got 8,000, potentially, because they're wasting that every year. Which is why I love something like winter or different types of challenges where, whether it's seasonable or not, seasonal or not, it's an opportunity. Because whilst there's challenge, there can be change, there can be growth. And I actually found. I mean, you know, we connected with the fitblow challenge, but I found the greatest years I always had in all those years of whether it was rugby league or competing in CrossFit, where I really actually knuckled down and built an amazing base in winter. Might not have set pbs, might not have gone and broken world records, all that sort of stuff, but maintaining a solid base was really the launching pad for a lot of times. Our comps were spring and summer, which is epic. But what led. I mean, I'm fascinated with your story so far, mate. What led to. Like, what were the sparks or were there key moments or adjustments or continual investments in yourself that between, you know, 18 and 30. Like, what led to you having that mindset, that tenacity, that hunger to get after it? Like, do you remember a couple of key moments or was it lots of little consistent ones? Like, what. What led to that being the man that you. That you were at that stage?

Yeah, I think there's. You need a lot of proof points. And so, you know, I think that, you know, believing in yourself, it really is, you know, if you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you can't. And always believing that I can because I did my homework. Now, what I mean by that Is I've coached my daughter's soccer teams over the years, and we used to train two to three nights a week. And, you know, the mothers used to say to me, what do you say to the girls? Why do they always win? We won three out of the four grand finals we were in. And it was because I would say to them, what have you done? What have we done as a team? What have you done that, you know, the others haven't done? And I would always know that. I would get up at 4:35 o'clock every day and I would do my ritual. I would. And I'd have my lemon and lemon water with salt in there to flush out my system. And I'd meditate, I'd read, I train, I, you know, I pray, I'd stretch, you know, I've got a sauna. And I would do that. And so that when I got into a boardroom or a meeting at 9 o' clock in the morning, I knew that my brain was going four hours more than everybody else in that room. And when somebody asked me a question that was designed to put me off, I could handle it because I wasn't reactionary, I was responsive. The doctor never says, oh, you're reacting well. He says you're responding well. He says, you're reacting badly to the medication or whatever. So for mine, the responsibility is your ability to respond. And so having that preparation and knowing that, you know, my soccer girls would know that. We did a fitness session one night, skill session another. We played a game against a better team the third night. So when they turned up and I'd say, listen, girls, you know, you better what? And my, my thing was, I wouldn't tell them. I'd ask them, I'd say, what aren't we doing? What are they doing that we're not doing? What are you not doing that you know you're capable of doing and asking these questions of yourself through journaling. I say, I journal. You know, paper is more patient than people. Anne Frank said, and I think we think on paper. And even, you know, my daughters are 22 and 21. And one of them, I said to them once, do you journal? And she goes, oh, yeah. I put notes in my phone. And I said, no, no, no, no, we think on paper. She said, I'm of a different generation than you, dad. And I said, well, hang on. No matter how, what generation you're from. And I still don't believe they'll ever stick an iPad in front of a kid or a computer and say, right Out. Sam sat on the mat when I was a kid, you know, Digga Chase Sam and Sam sat on the mat or whatever it was, and we read that book and then our comprehension was written. We learned to think on paper. So writing your thoughts on paper. They say a problem shared is a problem halved. In some cases, a problem shared is a problem squared. So I kind of think, well, yeah, it was great to talk to that person, but now Barry's come and ask me what's happening there. And I didn't mean you to tell Barry, you know, he didn't tell me not to tell anyone. So for me, the journaling Plato says thinking is the talking of its soul with itself. And so when you think on paper, you're really having a conversation with yourself. And from that, you know, I'll write, you know, it's whatever the time of the morning it is and what date it is, and I write it out and I keep it in this little writing desk here. And I bought nice, you know, write cursive and I write with nice fountain pens. So it's a bit of an experience. But during that I'll then go, okay, this is my to do's for today as a course of that. So I used to set a timer, but now I do it for two A4 pages. And I really feel that once I get up from that, the monkey mind is silenced, the thoughts bouncing around my head are gone. I've got a bit more clarity on the day and then I'll get out and I'll try. And so there's another form of meditation. One thing I find about exercise is that you can't be thinking of something else while you're trying to make sure you don't drop this thing on yourself or you're counting the 9th or the 10th or the 12th rep. And so it is very meditative. And I think meditation being a big part of life, people confuse what it's all about. And that to me is I'm kind of wandering a bit. But the idea of calming your thoughts, it's not about being the Zen master on the top of the hill. It's being so relaxed and being aware of your thoughts that when the shit does hit the fan in your day to day life, you've got a little bit more. It's like I liken it to when they build bridges and the traffic all congests getting onto the Spit bridge here, if they added another three or four lanes, it would flow through. And meditation exercise, that sort of stuff, it opens new neural pathways in your brain or builds more bridges that enable you to handle stress. So I think. What was your question?

Well, mate, I think you nailed it. I don't think you wanted it all day, but it's about how you can turn up in that period between 18 and 30, which is pretty important in such a chaotic world. Technology or not, there's always chaos. I think other mate, because what it sounds like is you always invest in yourself first, which means you were aligned. You had the framework to be able to handle either the good, bad and the ugly that hit you, which allowed you to, like you said, get in flow and perform. I think you nailed it, mate. I couldn't agree more. Like speed and presence is what brings flow. The problem is people are working at too fast a speed. Everything you mentioned is actually about slowing down the world and bringing presence. Which is why what you saw, what your daughter said, I get that. But the problem is you can type fast. And this device that I'm holding in my hand has multiple uses. That book that you showed me just then, that only serves one purpose. That's why this journal I have, the high performance father championship journal, I'm never going to digitize it because then it becomes a distraction point. As a tool that you're using that has so many other uses, that is useless. This journal right here is useless in any other way other than exactly what it was designed for. Which means when you look at our thoughts, mate, they're faster than the speed of light. They're fucking quick. But you can't match that. And I'm the same as you. When I journal, you have to slow down. You can't keep thinking because your hand can't keep up with the writing. So I love that, mate, because it brings in purpose and alignment, but it slows everything down. And like you said, you're putting your thoughts through and you're actually spending that time with yourself. You don't need to be 60, 70, 80 years old, some old wizard with a beard to do this, mate. Young kids doing this, what a fucking phenomenal leg up they'll have in the world, especially today where everything's accelerated tenfold. I had one of our members, he told me, I'd love to find the facts, I need to research it. So I'm not going to make it as an exact claim, but I can see how it would be true. He said the modern day 12 year old has experienced more than someone who lived to be 85 years of age 100 years ago. And I'm like, I would believe that because 100 years ago, you're in your town, that's still horse and cart. It's not just about to transition to cars. Life's pretty simple, right? A 12 year old, they can access fucking tens of thousands of things on their phone like that. So when he told me that, I was like, I'd love to find that the science or the facts or the, I guess the research behind it, but I could absolutely see that as being the truth in a chaotic world.

I think there's. Watch this on Netflix. It's called the Social Experiment. And it breaks down what goes on and how these, all these social media things are programmed and they're, they're, they're based on your reward system, the dopamine, which. That was great. That was great. That was great. But if you look at kids these days, I mean, go back to what you're talking about, the horse and cart. I even go back to the fireplace. I love, I love chatting around a fire. The fire for mine was like the caveman's television. You can just sit there looking at a television, at the fire and get some thoughts. Whereas people sit around the television and actually don't really talk. They kind of get lost in it. And when you see little kids get lost in that little handheld device and you can see a relatively calm and placid child get all cranky and angry when you take that device off them. And it's not that you've taken the device off them that makes them cranky, it's their brain is being programmed with all of this stuff. Even children's television these days. When I was a kid, there wasn't a lot of talk. Tom didn't talk to Jerry. They just chased each other around. So did the Road Runner and the Coyote. Whereas the voices and the pitch and everything is so very high and so frenetic, and it's like, wow, it used to be to wind down, now it's winding these kids up. So, you know, for mine, that's one of the greatest gifts my dad gave me was the gift of reading. And I had said to him when I was young, like, when do you think you'll die? And he said, you die the day you stop learning. And I remember one night going to bed and thinking, I didn't learn a thing today. I kind of mucked around in class. I didn't do any homework. And then I had that fear that I was going to die. So I kind of ran downstairs and we had the Encyclopedia Britannicas back then, which nobody, a lot of People not even heard about because we've got Wikipedia and Google. And I picked it up and I opened it up to this thing on the Kalahari Bushmen, and, you know, there were nomads around, you know, Africa and all that sort of business, and that kind of kept me going. I ended up pulling that out of my clacker a couple of weeks later. And I. In a school assignment, and I did quite well on it, but it just gave me that thing that if I learn something every day and they say to teachers to learn twice, I'll invariably read a book or something in the morning and then one of my clients will pop up and they'll say, well, I have this problem. And you think, oh, I just read about that this morning. And. Or they'll tell me something. I think I was just reading about Anne Frank's Whatever or Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, which is one of the most often recommended books I ever give. It's about life in a Nazi concentration camp. And we all talk about being in lockdown here. And I had friends over Christmas who were locked down in London, and we're doing these calls, and it was miserable outside, and they still had this happy disposition about them. And similarly, you know, people who are in concentration camps who thought they'd be home for Christmas and they hung their hopes on the idea they would be. And then Christmas came and went and they developed things like typhus, or they gave in, or they just died because they gave up because where they hung their hopes didn't happen. And the idea that, you know, people thought we'd get out of lockdown this morning I just realized, oh, hang on, it's not this Friday, it's next Friday. We're out of lockdown, which will be the 30th of July. That's. That's so annoying. But what am I going to do about it? Rather than go, oh, I've got to find some way of, you know, looking on the. Looking on the bright side. Because it's very easy to be unhappy and negative and miserable. It's really hard to be positive and optimistic and pick yourself up and keep going. But the rewards are far greater for an attitude of greatness and gratitude and, you know, things like, I was singing in the shower this morning a Radiohead song. You know, it's going to be a glorious day, and it's quite ordinary outside, but I'm almost programming myself to, you know, to believe it's not trickery either. I mean, in a lot of cases, my goals that I write out, if I get them done, I got them done. If I say it's going to be a great day, it's going to be a great day. And a lot of the way we speak, you know, as I say earlier on I might have said to you that I'll be saying to people, listen, let's do this. And they go, I'll try. Or I might, I don't think I can. So let's just give it a crack. Let's try. Well, you just did 30 times, something you said you couldn't do once and it gives. These are little proof points we have to ourselves and little pats on the back. We've got to give ourselves that. Well, I did do that and I did do this and I did do that and I achieved what I set out to be. Even if you have a nearest resolutions of a year, I said about 30 and if I only achieve 20, it's better than setting one and failing on that or not even achieving it. So yeah, there's another way of looking at things.

Definitely, mate. And I agree, Dave, like a lot of guys might listen and they feel like they might not be able to relate because they're stuck in a pattern or a rut that's actually the other side. But it's reinforcing these words of affirmation, these mantras, these things that puts you in a position of a state, not just motivation, with some fucking rocky clip with fancy music. Let's elevate your state from the inside out and maintain that integrity that, you know what, I am going to do this, I will achieve this and I will find a way. RDM found me, mate. I didn't find it. It's a funny pathway when you continually search and explore what life reveals and what the possibilities are. So a lot of you guys who might feel listening to this or watching it, you might feel like, you know, it's too hard. I've got this, I've got that. We've all got fucking lists. There's always something and there's always going to be something and there's lots of mess. Life is messy as well. But really by reinforcing, getting dozens of victories, what you're talking about in the shower, setting yourself up, the yoga, different types of music, your journaling, training, food, nourishing the body, which obviously you're big on as well. And we can dive into the physical health element of that, especially for fathers who are in their 40s, entering these are all critical things that when you actually look back instead of going Oh, I was late for this or I missed this. If you're going to wrap yourself for the hardship, you've got to give yourself a pat on the back for the good stuff that you're doing. You know what, if you do these things, Dave, before it's even midday, mate, you've already got 30 or 40 victories under the belt.

Oh, absolutely.

People don't want to see that or choose to say it, but it's the truth. Like, what do you measure a victory as? Like, it can be anything that is moving you and your life forward and obviously giving you experiences. But what I mean, and we can definitely tie into the physical and looking after your health. That's the best way of living life through. But what are some of the biggest feats? Which absolutely you've done, mate. But in what I think is a very pivotal stage of life for a lot of men, the 40s, like, what are some of the greatest, I guess, platforms you've built off or challenges you've overcome or achievements that you made in your 40s? That has really started to set you up. Not that it ever stops. It's a work in progress, but it's actually really. Because a lot of guys in their 40s I work with, that's when they're breaking down. But what did you do to keep building up, mate? I'd love to get your thoughts and shares on that.

I think it is that continuous. You mentioned a rut earlier on, and I think what people don't realize is the actual true definition of a rut is the unsealed part of a country road, or any road for that matter, but the unsealed part of a country road. If you get in that rut, you're taken wherever that rut takes you. If you keep driving, and that's invariably into a tree. When you look at life from a daily perspective and you set your goals from a weekly. I do daily, I do morning, I do weekly, 30 day, 60 day, 90 day plans. But I keep doing them. I don't just do them for the year now. I might do what's next week's goal? What's next week's goal? And I think in always setting those goals to be better and to try harder and push yourself. I mean, even I do the 300 workout. You know, the 300 workout in CrossFit was the workout they did for the movie 300, which is basically, you know, the exercises of deadlifts, box jumps, chin ups, all that sort of thing. And there's 300 of them. And I Make sure I do better each year on my birthday. And I've been doing that since about I was 40. And each year I have beaten the time that I've done even when I was 40. Now I've got what's today. In three months time I will be 53. So I start the 12 week countdown and that's where I train harder and harder and harder so that I'm that fit by my 53rd birthday. But in my 40s, I guess I did get to the stage where I looked at what I had achieved. That would be 13 years ago. So my daughters would have just been hitting their teens. I had to ramp it up a bit from an involvement perspective. I think as dads, my daughters, from a very early age, I started this stuff with them. I talked to them about who they could be as young women, strong young women, what they should look for in a man. And you have to be that role model for your children. The idea of, you know, do as I say, not as I, you know, not as I think or as I am. And if I want your opinion, I'll give it to you. That doesn't work with kids these days. When I was a kid I used to get the because I said so from teachers and things like that. That doesn't fly these days with kids, particularly with the children we want to create, want them to think for themselves. But to be that role model, I had to continue doing what I was doing. Now for mine, I've never looked at it as life stages, I've looked at it as lifestyle and you know, like exercise, it is scalable and so you adapt. You know, I lift the same weights now as I did when I was 18, but when I was 18 it was like, you know, five of those. Now I'll do 20 of those. And that seems to be a good rep for me, a good rep count. But I think at that age I read different books, I. I think you can't get stuck in a way of thinking. They say I believe a belief is a behavior. You don't behave a way that you don't believe. You can't say one thing and act another thing. And I've always thought the beliefs should serve you, support you, nurture you and sustain you. And if they don't, you've got to change that belief system. A lot of our beliefs were given to us by our parents who are literally probably their beliefs of their parents and their great grandparents. I was talking to somebody yesterday, I know you're of Italian heritage and I've Got a great association with Italians in Australia. But I think what happened was when the first Italians arrived to Australia all those years ago, they called time on Italy and the traditions and lifestyle that Italians live in now. If they actually went to Milan and back to Italy and the country's changed enormously and it's a lot more flexible than what some of the cultures are. Even my father coming out from Ireland, the island of Ireland back then is not what it is today. And he'd be shocked. And I think it's that continual evolution that we have. Charles Darwin, everyone thinks, he said it's the survival of the fittest. He didn't. He said, it's not the strongest nor the fittest of the species which is most able to survive, but the ones most able to adapt to change. And we live in an ever changing world. And so you being able to change and me thinking, okay, now I'm in my 40s now my daughters are becoming teens. I've got to start to think for what do they look for in a man and what do they expect from me? And you can never take your life is if it was easier to be boring and you can never really take your finger off the pulse. And for mine, I started very early on with my children and things like Cats in the Cradle, you know, and I'd say to my daughters, they knew that song. And I remember my young daughter once saying, hey dad, can we go for a walk down to Manly Dan? I said, listen, I'm just gonna watch this footy game. And then. And she said, yeah, no worries, dad. And she walked off singing that song. Okay? And I paused it because, you know, I had a dream last night. My daughters, I've got a, you know, there's a photo of them there as the age they are, but I dream of them as this age still, you know, and it's, it's something that it goes so quickly and life does, you know. My 85 year old father kept talking about how quick life goes.

He said, you know, I put the.

Bins out yesterday and then I put them out again yesterday. I'm like, what are you talking about? He said, a week goes like that. And the child, as a child, time goes so slowly for us because we want to be adults, but as adults and parents of children, that goes faster than you will ever know. And my, my father said, when my daughter was born, can you remember life before her? And I didn't really get what he was talking about. And it wasn't until she was on her fifth birthday and I said, wow, I can't remember life before you. I don't remember what life meant sort of thing. So I'm very lucky that I connected with my children from a really early age. And I really implore any of your listeners or viewers to know that that's the opportunity. And if they're in their teens now and you maybe spend all your time at work and it's never too late. I said to my nephew recently, or it was probably about three months ago, and he said, oh, you know, I've never really hugged my dad. I said, what do you mean? He goes, well, dad's not a hugger. And I said, well, why don't you just hug him and see what happens? And I caught up with him recently, and he's like, oh, man, David, that was the best advice you ever gave me. It's dad. And I hug every day now. And it's such a great gift. And I thought, you can always. You can change it. You can change the belief system. You can change the behaviors. Someone has to go first. You know, like, no one got. We didn't get with our partners unless somebody kind of asked for that date or asked for that dance or, you know, cracked that wise joke that got them to pay attention. You have to take the first move. In a lot of cases, that's got to come from you. And I think that's what leadership is. Leadership is that taking the first step and, you know, no matter what you plan to do, even doing something little. And, you know, I bought a gym recently, which I'll open up in. I open up hopefully after Covid, but the idea of every single day I had to, you know, I've done the da, I've done this, I've done that. And like I say, you know, what do I learn every day that makes me stay alive? The idea of doing something every day towards that goal. So in my 40s, I just made sure I did something better than I did the day before. And life becomes scalable. I still. Covid's been a bit of a different thing for a lot of people. And as much as I think sleep is so important, sleep is kind of like turning your phone off and recharging it. It works a lot better than when you just plug it in all day long and try to get it to get back up to the above that area. So even within Covid, because we're working from home, I set a timer rather than an alarm, and I set that time for 8 hours and 15 minutes, assuming it'll take me 15 minutes to get to sleep. But no matter when that timer goes up, that's when my day starts again. Now it's easier said for me because I don't have kids who are your alarm clock, but everyone can even work from home, try and crack a 20 minute power nap, you know, recharge in that regard. But yeah, and I just made sure I was involved. As a 40 year old, I read books that kind of challenged my thinking on how I was as a person. I studied life coaching at that stage because I found that I got most joy. Somebody asked me a question, where do you spend most of your money and most of your time happily? And I thought, well, I spend most of my time and money on books and exercise equipment. And my leisure time was kind of like kayaking or bike riding or playing sport or running or weightlifting or whatever it was. And my book, I spent money on a lot of books, self help books and things like that. And so when I looked into life coaching, I was able to do that as a side hustle and keep my job in media, which I kind of was losing less and less. It was money, but it wasn't making me happy and I was good at it. But I was kind of selling advertising space. So when you met me on men's fitness, I think it would have been around 2011 and I would have been just in my 40s. And the idea of working for a fitness publication was ticking all the boxes for me because I was meeting people like yourself and getting your philosophy in life and thinking, wow. And for me, every person I meet gives me some lesson. I learned something from them about either being better or, you know, as the same as that person. So that happened for me through that time. And then I realized most people's mental blocks could be, could be fixed physically, that a lot of inertia came from the fact that they were kind of stagnating. Life does reward action. Everyone knows that after half an hour on the bag or half an hour running the punching bag, that is half an hour running, that they're a lot better off and they think a lot more clearly than what they would do. And they sit there and go, okay, I'd rather not. And the difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is successful people don't want to do it either. They just do. And when I think if I leave exercise at the end of the day, on the odd occasion, I go, this is why you do it first. You do the worst first and get it going, even though I love it. And so last night I did a. I thought I'll just do 20 minutes. An hour and a half later, I'm still training because I had an hour and a half to do it. So I think that that was it. It's the kind of constant change and constant. Updating your knowledge, updating your physical fitness and adapting. You know, I did more low impact exercise as I got older rather than, you know, I do one sprint session a week these days, and that'll keep me. I can feel that four days later, you know. So, yeah, I think that's it. You've got to address the day for what the day is as you put on warmer clothes in a. On a cold day, you've got to put on warmer clothes in a, you know, in a colder day of your. In from a mental perspective, you know, just be prepared and adapt that way, you know, so. And it is. It's behavioral flexibility. They're the people who win, the ones who are most able to say, you know what, it's a shit situation, but how am I going to make it good, you know, that we've run out of alcohol, so let's drink water and tea, you know, like whatever it is to make the thing work for everybody.

Yeah, I love that, David. That's actually a point that I made a notice when I wrote it down. Adaptable. I mean, that's a lot of amazing principles that you share there and ways that you apply that. And I love that saying that you have. Life rewards action. But it's the adaptability, isn't it? I mean, that's what. That's what leadership becomes. Because a lot of the times I look at leadership is being a lag. Like, it's after the fact, right? No one ever looks and goes, he's leading right now. It's always when there's a retrospective or a comparison of, like, that's where they were, that's where they are to go. That was an action of leadership, you know, And a lot of the times, with our weekly cadence that we have, which we have, like, targets and actions and versions of who they'll be, we've got our mitts, our most important thing, just like what you were saying, you need to build that rhythm. Okay, what's this week look like, Norris? What's this day look like for us? Monday is the first quarter, because that's a big day. We want to win that. And then Tuesday, Wednesday is quarter two. Thursday, Friday's quarter three, generally in a reflective state. Quarter four, Saturday, Sunday, set up for the weekend. When you build these in Mate, it actually gives you the ability to chart your progress, reflect and then build in that level of adaptability. And like you mentioned, with COVID lockdowns and other moving parts of life, the world, the landscapes of culture. Absolutely. With different types of heritage. Obviously half of mine's being Italian. Yeah. It's not just adaptability to that, it's actually adapting to yourself and who you currently are. If I stay as this current version of who I am, Dave, and I don't adapt who I currently am to the next version of al, I won't achieve the goals that I desire. There's a different version of al. It's needed to have the RDM range and have this system and have it complete operation with lots of moving parts I've got no idea about right now that I can build towards. And I think you hit the nail on the head there, mate. Not that I'm in my 40s yet, but I can see that with so many fathers we work with. We've got those in their late 30s, those in their mid-40s, and then we've got those in their early 50s. And I just see it. Yeah. Like you said about the teachers, teaching is learning twice. Our members teach me way more. Like we've got men coaches down here in their 50s, but they all teach me way more than I teach them. But my skill set is taking what they've shown me through the stages of their life and then helping our guys position themselves in different perspectives and ways to see it and then action to follow it through. And who could do that on their own, mate? Like, I've got nothing against personal success, but self made is a funny term because it's like, shit, we've all had someone wipe our ass, mate. We'll let someone spoon feed it, you know, like they're.

Yeah.

Different times where we really need that. But you know, it's. I don't know, mate. Like what would be some of your, I guess, advice or words of wisdom to some of our guys who'd be listening right now where they feel like they are in that rut or they're a bit stuck or like what is the low hanging fruit or the best way to start to initiate those actions and changes in your experience or some.

Advice, I think just like if you were in a rut on a country road and the only way to get out of it is to stop the car, get out, have a look at where you've got on, have a look at where you're headed and reverse the car and get back on the road. So I think from a daily perspective, if you go, okay, this is where I want to go, is what I'm doing right now moving me towards or away from where I want to go. And something as simple as that question is, where you go? Well, it's not moving me towards. So I've got to, am I going to stop doing that? What do I need to start doing and what do I need to continue doing? Because, you know, the 90% of what we're doing is working. It's the 10%. I've got a presentation I give called 5% mindset modifications, and it breaks down hours and days and minutes, et cetera. But there's tiny little modifications that if you make them every day over the course of a year, they're massive. And those little changes that you go, you know what, maybe I'll have. I won't start with the whiskey because that seems to get me into trouble. Maybe I'll cut back on the beer because it seems to sit around my midline. You know, maybe I'll, I'll. For mine, I look at the mental, physical, spiritual, social, financial perspectives of life and how I can mix them all in together. We are the most sociable creatures on the planet. And the idea that we're kind of in lockdown at the moment, this is still a social interaction. You can get on the phone and call people and set. I mean, I set timers for everything just because of time management. But I'll call people with a 15 minute plan if it goes longer because they need longer or I need longer than it does. Okay, 15 minutes. But I write that in my to do list. And the to do list is, okay, call my parents or call my mate or check in on somebody. And I think when you're looking after, I say to people, the best thing you can do for me is look after yourself. The best thing I can do for you is look after me. And what used to be called selfishness is our self preservation. Even when I was younger, my dad used to say to me, oh, yeah, there he is, looking after number one. And now there's a smoothie I have after my workout called looking after number one Shake. And it is, it's got in there bananas, egg whites, yogurt, all of the seeds, chia seeds, hemp seeds, flax seeds, wheat germ, all these things that are in there that are all just looking after number one. And I might have said it to you, they say it on a plane when the oxygen mask drops down. You look after yourself before you do your kids. And when I first heard that, I was on a plane with my daughters. It's like, no way. But then I realized I'm no good to anybody until I'm good to myself. But even looking after number one, you do that. So you're the best version of yourself for everybody around you and in your social circle. And you can combine things like training with a mate. That's a social element. You save money because you're not spending money at the bar, so to speak. You have a conversation. So you're mentally, physically, spiritually, you're outdoors. And there's just so many ways that you can kind of connect. But in that rut, it really is about, like, anything people would. You wouldn't build a house without a plan, a draft or whatever. Yet we try to stumble through life without any goals, and we're like a cork bobbing around in the ocean. We'll end up wherever the waves, wherever the world takes us, you know? So with a plan and a plan in mind. I mean, I talk about purpose and purpose for mine is the acronym I use behind what is your purpose? Friedrich Nietzsche said, with a big enough why, man can endure almost any how. So if you know what your why is, then the how just works. As you say, when you've got your shit together, it just. Life works in your favor. It's when you don't. You think, okay, what is my why? What is my purpose? And my acronym for purpose goes around. The P is the planning. Got a plan every day. The U is the understanding. You know, seek first, understand, then to be understood. The R is the research looking back on where you have, you know, where do I. If it is every single winter that I get the blues because I love being outdoors, then put on a beanie and a big coat and get outdoors anyway. You know, you're still getting the vitamin D. The other P is the presentation. So your purpose.

Pur.

P is presentation. How do I look? You know, what am I doing? How do I present to the outside world? Am I standing tall? Am I doing this? The O is optimism. You know, you literally have to believe the best is going to happen. Because I guarantee if you think the worst is going to happen, it will. Everything you think will happen will happen. Everything that's ever happened to me in my life, I daydream as a child or I wrote it down. I write a letter every year. I remember reading this to my daughters. We're on a beach in Hawaii, and I said, listen to this, girls. It's December 31st. Whatever year it was, and we're sitting on a beach in Hawaii drinking French champagne, we've been to Disneyland, blah blah, blah. And this year we did that. And my eldest daughter said, yeah, so what? I said, she was well. And I said, well, I wrote this on the 2nd of January this year. She said, how did you know we were going to do this? And I said, you guys had told me you wanted to do that. And when I wrote it out, and I've got one in my top drawer here, and I read it regularly and you write your goals in an as if now perspective, as though they've really happened. Your brain doesn't know, your subconscious doesn't know whether things have happened or not. We all know we can imagine situations and feel that when I sit there and plan what workout I'm going to do, I start to sweat because I'm thinking about that workout. So that optimism is always expecting the best is going to happen. For me, the S is for solutions. You know, what do I know that works? What are the best things that are going to solve my problem? And then the E is just effectiveness. What is the most effective way about going through this? How can I save time here, how can I spend time there? You know, something as simple as 30, you need 30 mils of water for every kilo of body weight. If you're 100 kilos, you should be drinking 3 liters of water a day. And that's just to survive. You know, our bodies are 55 to 65% water, our brain is 75% water, our muscles are water, all that sort of thing. And just something as simple as knowing I've done my three liters every day, that is, you know, keeps me going. It's, it's an effective way of living life. So knowing that, I remember reading once, what's one thing if you started doing it, every single day of your life would make you more effective. And to me that was exercising. And it's what one thing if you stopped doing every day would make you more effective. And believe it or not, I actually smoked up until I was 40. So I quit smoking on my 40th birthday. So that was probably another big life changing thing because it made me be able to exercise more. I found that I thought smoking was sociable, but I would, and I would smoke when I drank. Then I found myself with a glass of red wine, watering the garden, having a cigarette, you know, and then I looked at my daughters and thought, hey, I want to see as an 85 year old man what your Children look like my grandchildren. And I wouldn't have got there in the healthy state or I won't get there in the healthy state if I continued smoking. So, you know, 13 years ago, that was a big life changing thing. But I made the decision to stop because I'm being kind to my future self. So I think with that idea of what your purpose is at any stage of life, you've got to define what that is. No one said on their deathbed, I wish I spent more time at work. You know, the people who sit there and they go, okay, hang on, hang on, kid, I got a. You know, the boss is calling. You set the boundaries in your life that you set. I remember when I worked in media, if I had a meeting with Colgate, for example, on a Thursday at 3 o', clock, and American Express said, can we see at 3 o' clock on Thursday? I'd say, no, I've got a meeting on at that time. What else can we do yet? We put in the book that we might go for a run at lunchtime or we might train at 2 o' clock in the afternoon. And then the boss says, can we have a meeting at 2 o'?

Clock?

If you say, listen, I've actually got a meeting at 2 o', clock, okay, now that meeting is with you. That's to put into place the purposeful things you need to be the best version of yourself. And we put ourselves last, women particularly. But, you know, put that meeting in that book and it does not change for anyone. Because until you've done those foundations and set those boundaries, people treat you the way you allow them to treat you or you teach them to treat you. And my pessimistic childhood was because I expected the worst was going to happen. When I changed that and flipped that it was, the best is going to happen. And I do, every day I think I believe something really fantastic is going to happen for me today. And it does. It's just. It is like magic.

My.

Another one of my little acronyms is dltmm. I call myself David Lee, the Magic man, because I believe in magic. And because of that, it happens. And there's a lot of little things that I do. You know, I have this frog on my desk. The idea of if you have to eat a live frog every day, if that's the worst thing you have to do, eat the frog. So when I see that in the.

Morning, I go, what's my frog today?

Get it out of the way. Do the worst first. And there's your first victory. They Say, you know, making your bed, it is your first victory. Doing all those things I do, even if it starts raining. Well, I've done all this this morning. I feel brilliant. I cannot. It's when you don't do it, it's feeling how you feel when you haven't done what you know you should be doing. That's enough of a punishment or a penalty to me to go, okay, tomorrow's another day and every minute the past, another opportunity for all of us to turn it all around. Sitting there and going, I failed. You didn't fail, you learned something. I used to say to my daughters, the first time, it's a lesson. You do it again, then it's a mistake. If it happens a third time, knowing you're going to hurt yourself or somebody else, that it's either a crime or a sin. And I think that's it. It's a lesson. Everyday life, the wonder of life to me is I learn something new every single day and in order. When I learn that and I get the opportunity to talk to people and share that, it's just such a gift back to me of feeling my purpose in life. So I think if men can identify their purpose and really put a big energy behind that, why and that purpose and live a purposeful life. You know, we say to kids, oh, you did that on purpose. And that kid did. But if you live your life on purpose, then you live your life with a purpose, which I think is a great way of looking at that.

It's very inspiring, Dave. Very inspiring, mate. And you just know, like being in this, like, I'm uplifted and I'm naturally very optimistic, but I'm an energetic and I'm uplifted by just sharing and having you. Because what you're doing, even though this is online, what you spoke about and how we, how we transact or connect, we're not shaking hands, high fiving or hugging. I would if I could, mate. I'd love to have you up here. But it's true, you can still draw that, like the energy that you. Life is energy, mate. No one responds to that more than children because they may not have the mental acuity or articulation with words and other things, which are powerful things, but energy trumps all. And when I get that from you and you just sharing that huge spill which is so vital, it's inspiring for me, mate. And those listening or watching, you guys need to understand you're not that far off the mark. You really aren't talking about the rush, stop, reverse you're really not that far off. Creating an entire different pathway for you and your family and everything you shared, mate. It's a commitment to self, like it really is committing to yourself to go, hey, I need to be 100% so I can give 100%. It's no good if I'm giving 100 of others, but I'm only actually 40. I'm giving 100 over 40. And like I said, self preservation and investing in themselves. Books are an amazing resource, obviously. And being in the right environment, just like I said right here and now, me being part of our environment together, it's uplifting, mate. And that acronym is awesome, too. I might get a copy of that, if that's okay. I'll share it. Yeah, I'll do that. And I'll add a few photos and I might have a photo of you, of me from the fitbike challenge. We'll see. I'll do some digging.

You featured in men's fitness magazine as.

Well back in the day, so that's right. Yeah, that's right. Yes, mate. Yeah. Good times. But everything, everything you're sharing, mate, it's a choice which comes down to me. A lot of the things that you're sharing are really focus, from the frog to your plan to what you're doing. And it's such a powerful thing. Focus can be the pathway for the possibilities in your life. And I'm actually going to write that up on board, what you said. It's such a simple term, but I love it. I'm going to write on my whiteboard after this. I might get you to correct me if I'm wrong, but is. Is what I'm doing right now, today moving me towards or away from where I want to go. You mentioned something like that. That's. Yeah. I don't know why there's so many. There's a million like those listening or watching this. You need to listen to this again because this has been a phenomenal episode. But. And I've taken a lot away, but just something as simple as that. And my primal core is like, fuck, man. Like, I'm not getting this time back. So I love and value the time and energy I'm putting in here with you nowadays because it's got purpose, because it's worth it, because it's valuable. But there are times that I'm pretty sharp with my time management and other things where I'm like, hey, I need to just zoom out a little bit and go, is this actually moving me forward? Like, we've Got an amazing skincare line we're about to launch and it's phenomenal. It's great. But at the time of going through that, the journal, so many different projects we've got. We've got our debt, we're about to launch. All these things came to a head and then the lockdowns happen. I'm like, hang on, I know I'm so close to this. Don't be that guy who just must win at all costs, like I was in sport. Let's peel it back. The wife needs help with the kids at home. What can I. Okay. That's a powerful thing. Is what I'm going to do today going to move me forward or away from being a father? Someone who adds value to the world and a man inside of myself. And thank you for that, mate. That's really great. It's been. It's been an awesome episode. I've really got a lot of value out of it. Is there anything you wanted to add or share, mate? What is next for Dave? Where are we moving, mate? If you want to share some bits and pieces or. Yeah, what's the next.

The last thing I'll say on that note, only because of something that popped into my head just in around presence. I think we got a lot of energy out of this because we were very present and I think that's all we have is this moment. There's a Lao Tzu or a Dalai Lama quote that says, depression is living in the past, anxiety is living in the future, but peace is living in the now. And if we look at our kids, young kids particularly, they live in the now. You know, they forget what happened yesterday. And I really care about what's happening tomorrow, unless what they're doing right now is fun and we lose that childlike approach to life. So I think being present, you know, and thinking, is this the best use of my time right now? That's a great gift you can give to yourself and everyone else, mate. I guess everything, as I say for mine, has been evolutionary. When I started the life coaching, I recognized most people's problems were mental. So I were physical, rather. So you might say you won't see mental change, but you will see physical change. So I went from the life coaching into the personal training and I combined those. I bought a gym, which I open. It's a word that you use quite often, tribe, which I do think, you know, it's about finding your tribe. The franchise I bought into is a franchise called Tribe, for one. So the idea is, you know, it's It's a combination of everything I've. I've subscribed to. So it's strength, it's, it's high intensity, it's yoga. Can have a couple of saunas in there. And I was interviewed, I co authored a book about 10 years ago called the Complete Health Series. And I was asked back then what I thought was the next big fitness craze. Now I believed it to be CrossFit. As a bit of a joke I said Zumba and they printed the Zumba rather than the CrossFit. However, I'm going to be offering Zumba classes as well. So it's a gym in Brookvale here in Sydney and Windbourne Road and that opens as soon as I can with COVID But that's combining all of that. So I'll still be doing the coaching in there. I'll be doing the nutrition programs. I still have leeway.com where I do my coaching out of. I still get more, you know, as much as I love to present, I still get more joy out of a one on one coaching session with somebody who I've seen benefit enormously because it's that ripple effect or the butterfly effect. That one person goes out just is a better person for everyone in their lives who in turn become better people. I was only talking to somebody last night about that. There's a movie called Death at a Funeral where he says there's one thing to be in a bad mood, but if it's prolonged it just becomes a bad personality. And it's about getting ourselves out of that funk and knowing that who we are for ourselves is who we are for everybody else. So I still get great joy out of that. My best joys come out of writing so working on a couple of books. Open the gym. I train my daughters Monday and I'll train with them again tomorrow. And so that's still very, very important to me to be involved in their life and yeah, just moving on. And this opportunity to connect with your followers and the men in the Real dad movement is fantastic.

And it's great to see you doing so well, mate.

You must know how it feels that giving and receiving perspectives. So that's where I'm at and these opportunities are great to kind of influence as many people as we can with positive thinking and attitudes of optimism and purpose.

It's been incredible episode. Dave, I loved having you on, mate. I can't wait till we get to catch up in person again. Very excited, mate. Yeah, I'll happily shoot on down once everything clears up. And you open the gym, that's for sure. I'll be the first big red in the gym, mate. For one of the sessions. I'll put the tights back on.

Good.

On your one. On the old CrossFit days. But yeah, I've got a lot out of this, Dave. And everything you said, even that last point, it really is worth it. Like, there are a lot of challenges, a lot of you guys listening to this with the upbeat energy that we bring, that Dave definitely brings. Check him out. All the things that he just mentioned and especially his website's got some great value there. It's not that we don't have the hardships, mate. It's just that we find a way to make our actions and where we want to go worth it. Which brings us up. If we're backs against the wall, we push off the wall and get back in. And that's. That's a valuable thing because just like a lot of the guys listening right now and going through that period where they feel like they're in the pit or in a rut and they're building the wrong patterns and psychology and habits, it's the same. You can start reprogramming those things. And in me, with my psychology, I can't lose. I can't actually process, like losing long term. Like, there's lots of things where I'm like, I review, okay, cool, I'll do this better next time on that. Better. But in terms of the long term, my career destroyed with ugly league, multiple operations, reconstructions, lots of different hardships with the business, finding my feet in the business world with gyms and whatnot, and it's like, I still can't. I can't find that way to give in, give up or lose. Just like your license plate. David doesn't quit. It's just. It becomes part of who you are, mate. And that's. It's a powerful thing that serves you tenfold better than what's currently not serving. A lot of the men who program or pat themselves the other way, mate.

And I think that's it. Just, you know, just turn it around. As I say, every day is another opportunity. And if it's to be, it's up to me is another big one. I say, and you know, even the idea of God helps those who help themselves. Self help is not selfishness. It's just being the best version of yourself. And in the long term, everyone wins, you know, like. And that's what it's about. I think it's that whole teamwork thing. And the idea of your tribe. So, mate, it's been an absolute pleasure to be a part of a part of this. And yeah, we finally got around to it. I think because we were going to do it in person was why it took so long because of these, these lockdowns and things. But we've succumbed to the virtual world and, you know, I think I had a good time. Thank you for that.

Yeah, likewise. That's been amazing. Thanks again, Dave. And I hope you guys got a lot out of this. Those listening to this or watching it, it's. It's certainly one I'm going to listen to again. I'll fast forward my points but I'll just listen to Dave because so many nuggets in there, mate, it's amazing. But thanks again, mate. Thank you guys for listening to watching this and tune in for another one soon.

Good morning, Alex.

Thanks, man. Cheers.

1,000 minutes a day, it's a lot. But when you're wasted on shit that doesn't serve you or move yourself or your family forward, you are bleeding. The most valuable resource that you and I never get back. How much time do you think you have and how much quality do you think you've had? Don't be a fool like the man masses thinking you'll cheat the system or get round to it one day or worse. Just accepting life and sinking back into a slumber of regret. This is your moment, your time. You're cut from a different cloth. You have the hunger and desire to be more and live more. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. So stand up, find the golden nuggets. In this episode you just listened to and alone. Align immediate action with them and where you want to go, you are worthy. This is your life. You are the king and this is your kingdom. Now go and claim it by showing, not telling and be the real leader you and I both know you were born to be.