128. That Winning "Feeling"

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement podcast. The point and purpose of these episodes, as always, is to have a point and purpose towards helping you win the second half in life by building a path of becoming the best father, husband, man and member of your community that you can be. We do this with various ways of connecting. Life is connection. And as you hear these words spoken time and time again, know that the driving force of connection in life is energy. Which means that how you turn up as a father, as a husband, as a valued member of society will always start and end with how you turn up as a man within yourself. First, this is why it's my mission, my purpose, our mission, our purpose through Real Dad Movement to inspire, motivate, educate and guide you into thoughts, feelings, actions and a change in your belief systems to rise up, cut the shit from your life and live and leave a real legacy. When dads win, everyone wins. And when you win, I win. Let's get moving forward, mate, right here, right now. And here we are, another episode where we're slowing down a little bit. In this one we're going to just pull back a little bit on. I'm sure if you continue to listen and you're enjoying what you're seeing, you're getting value. And above all else, applying action immediately after every single episode that you listen to with us, whether it's our special edition HBF episodes or me or the guests that we have on. You're probably pretty familiar by now with the term that I use saying living an eggshell free life, but that doesn't mean that I'm a cold hearted man and it doesn't mean that being direct is always the way to be fair. You know, life is messy. Life has a lot of grey. There's a lot of grey matter. I mean, even if we take the, well, the supposed measurement of the universe and 96 of it being dark matter, 96%. There are so many different, unknown and you know, so many different areas of fog in life. I just want you to be clear so you completely understand that I'm a very loving, empathetic man. And when I have direct sayings, quotes, actions, perceptions, approaches to your life, to your marriage, to your relationships, to your family, to yourself, a lot of them are driven to become a real pattern interrupt, to become a different trigger that stops the triggers that you currently go through. But it always comes from a place of love. And please understand there's no pre frame or, you know, pre influence that has led to this episode. I think it's important and you'll probably see that, like, every now and then, I do peel back the intensity a little bit, and I think we're due for one now because it's been a. It's been a solid few weeks where we've just been. Been pushing hard, pushing hard on different. Different areas of life, different elements, different topics. And this one in this episode's about how to fight your fleeting feelings. And even that in itself is possibly not the greatest. Greatest term to use when we're talking about fighting, but it's really about understanding the value that feelings can bring and just having a softer, more relaxed approach to an episode where we want to talk about something that just seems so. So real, yet so elusive in life. What I love most, again, this has nothing to do with me. I love being the messenger, of course, because this brings fulfillment to me, and if it impacts one man's life, fucking huzzah. It's amazing. And we love it. We've had 30,000 downloads now. That's incredible. Like, I'm humbled by it. It's being able to be the message from a very strong framework that, yes, I can beat my chest and stand tall, and I'm a large, strong man and tell you to get fucked. If you're someone who's driving a life of fear and trying to push that onto me, my children, or anyone else inside my inner circle, of course, that doesn't really happen very often. I don't really need to flex my muscles, nor do I want to. No one really wins there. But it's probably a necessity in life at times where, you know what, There is a level of energetic expression that you must rise up against through a higher level of energetic expression within yourself. That doesn't mean that I love rage or anger or any of those bits and pieces, but life is a fascinating thing. We're not here to pray like monks our entire life. We're here to live life. We're here to exhaust life through all the experiences and possibilities and the legacy that we can create off the back of that through our own actions, through leadership. But coupled with this exterior toughness that I can turn on a dime and the flick of a switch is a very soft and doughy. Doughy comes to mind, although I don't like that word, because being heavily overweight and depressed and fat and bullied when I was. When I was young and picked on is. It's a part of the sculpture. It's a part of the clay. You know, you don't throw it away. You re sculpt It. But Doughy. I remember my brothers used to call me KFC for a nickname. Fucking hell. My two older brothers, man. Oh, they, they, they protected me a lot and we had a lot of loving times together, but they, they gave it to me a lot too, that's for sure. But kfc, what a nickname. You know, as a young. Number three on the list, one of four boys, number three in the supposed pecking order in, in the household to, to get nicknames like that. Bloody hell, man. And. But then anyone else would pick on me and they'd punch their head in. So I kind of, I can't give them stick for that without commending them for supporting and protecting me in some pretty tough, tough, emotional, volatile times in my adolescence. But I have this very soft, empathetic approach because it's important, mate. It's important in life for you to look at your relationships, your marriage, how you handle your children. It's really interesting. It's not that I have the code cracked, although we do in a lot of different areas of life, but in terms of my own life, I do a lot of things and I don't think about them and I think maybe it just is. But simple example, making the bed this morning, and a lot of you listening might make the bed for you and your wife. And that's great. I don't make it every day, but this morning I made it. But I saw my wife's pajamas there and they're just there in a fucking heap. I was like, oh, well, I picked them up and just threw them under a pillow. And I was like, hang on a minute. Why don't you just fold them up, Al? Fold them up nicely, put them on a pillow. Sometimes I'll put a little post it note under there and just say, you're an amazing mother. Thank you. You know, like, it's not the gift, it's always the thought that counts. We've heard that before. But the thought that counts must represent a higher level of perceived value than the actual gift itself. What I mean by that is if I buy my wife a $15,000 diamond ring, that'll mean fuck all if the thought, heart and emotion and purpose behind that doesn't trump that perceived investment of a $15,000 diamond ring, you know, it really is. And that's why, you know, apart from wedding rings and other little bits of jewelry and whatnot, I've gotten her, I don't go doing that. I don't go spending that amount of money on her in that respect, because I'm like, well, that's a pretty poor example I just shared with you because it means fucking nothing. As opposed to her loving the Bridgeton series that she's watching on Netflix and I can't stand it. But that's just me to then, you know, tapping that into the memory bank. Okay, birthday's coming up. This was in June. No worries. I can't stand Bridgerton. I'm just going to have a look, peek through. Cool. She's got four of the eight books. No worries. What's the latest book? Take pictures of them all, go into a bookstore. Hey, what's book number 5678? This is what I currently have. No worries. Beautiful. Get that. Like Those books cost 100 bucks total, maybe less. Maybe like 75 or something. But the thought of the perception of her knowing that I don't even watch the show. I can't stand it. I give a flack and give a shit about it and teaser about it in a, you know, in a harmless and playful way to her thinking there's no way at all Al even knows what I'm into. To me getting her the exact sequence of books and what she wants, that's going to hold much more value than me going getting her some gold fucking earrings. So just, just as a bit of a foundation for this episode, I just want you to know that. You know what? It's not the big home runs that leads to the victories. The biggest possible solution you have. If you have challenges with your marriage, not even on the brink of divor, but you can see that might come in six months or six years time. You know, 50% of the population, 46 is the number. If you're a 45 year old, pay attention. But look, you know, when we're looking at this, it's always a chronic compounding. Please, please don't put your hands in the air, say there's nothing I could do when there's been 10 to 15 years of chronic patterns and behavior that led to this point of implosion. Because that's fucking lazy and that's piss week. I'm not going to judge you for it. I'm not going to say you are piss weak. But what we'll certainly do is I'll observe the actions and allocate the right and appropriate meaning and terminology to those actions. And when those actions are chronically piss weak, that's exactly what they are. That's an observation of actions. Which means it is fact, it is truth. It's not an opinion. That doesn't mean I Judge you. I'm just sharing with you the light that might open your eyes to why everything fell down. Your marriage fell apart. Always. The way that we see through this though, and see it through and have it thrive and flourish is through investing in yourself. You know, before you had children, you're an individual, you're an intimate couple, and now you're parents. And the hats keep piling on. Husband, father, man, business owner or worker, you know, footy coach, volunteer, mate, brother, cousin, son, nephew. Like there are so many different hats that we wear and they just keep piling on as life continues. Which is why you must dial in and focus on the most important things in your life. Get clear on what that looks like, what are the targets for that, what are the actions for that. Yes, all the habit building. Like we create championship habits. You get a championship life. That's exactly what we do. So when it comes to helping you repair your relationships and repair your marriage within 12 weeks, it's phenomenal in how we do it because ultimately we look at you and go, okay, well, let's fucking get you looking at the mirror, at you. What can you do? And not in supplicating, suppressing your emotions or feelings or supplicating and bowing down to your wife. She's got a pair of pants that she needs to wear and she needs to know that too. No one should have a fucking lazy wife that does fuck all in life. Because if you're growing and seeking growth and she's not, there's breakdown and vice versa. If she is growing and engaging in different skill sets, different experiences, building herself, developing herself, there will be a breakdown because you're not coming to the party. You know, my wife, we've been together since high school. There's no way I'd stay with her if I had, you know, 15 year old Corrine, that's when she was, she was 15 or 17. Even if she was 25, there's no way the 25 year old version of my wife could handle three kids under five right now. Giving me what I need, look after the household. No way. I wouldn't be with her. We'd be divorced. She needs to keep growing. She may not have the ambitions I have or work in the area of expertise or the skill sets or the service that I do. It doesn't matter. That's okay. We're all our individuals. We have that right to be the gift that we are in our own way to the world. And she may not have the ambitions I have with the RDM Ranch Serving all of you and building this movement that should and will be global in what it means to be a man and a father in the modern world and how to stand up and be a true leader through yourself first, so you have fulfillment and an enriched life, which means everyone else does around you, and that's okay. But as long as she grows with me, the piece of paper I have with my wife means fuck all. And I tell her that not frequently. I don't put it in a face because it's an important day. Your day of marriage is an important day. You celebrate with friends and fair. It's a unique day. But I do tell her that. And I have told her that. Look, a lover for who you continue to become, not a piece of paper that says by law that we have to share the same last name. What the fuck does that even mean? It's an agreement that's plucked out of thin air. So please understand, when you're looking at investing yourself, it always starts with you. You want to repair your marriage, it starts with you. And that doesn't mean that you're the problem. It you can be the ultimate solution, because guess What? You control 100% of yourself. So when we help you invest and dial in your own life with your facts, your feelings, your emotions, your triggers, how you are transparent with everything, how you transfer and transition in multiple environments, how you have the right environment, ecosystem inside your corner so you can move forward, how to cut the bullshit, have someone to give you direction in your life, the right coaching, the right environment of other fathers, as well as remove sedation and distraction from your life? Look, I never tell our dad, stop drinking alcohol. You tell me how the fuck does alcohol help you in your life? Please tell me. Tell me how. Because if you say it's just a relax or wind down, is that the only form that exists in the world? Are there other forms that exist that don't come at the chronic cost of pulling yourself down inside of your cognitive function, your clarity, your focus, how you can turn up for your family, your energy levels and poisoning yourself. Of course there is. I wind down and relax every day. It's not through getting on the piss again. I don't judge you for this. This is just about removing the patterns that are autonomous in your life to pull back and go, well, why am I doing this? Okay, well, it helps me unwind and relax because I've had a big day at work. Okay, well, why does that have to be the solution for you to unwind and relax? Okay, well, what can I Do to change my feelings and emotional ties to this trigger, which is coming from a cue. There's a perceived reward, but the habit itself is not nourishing or nurturing me. Mate, three questions deep. We don't have to dive deep into the chakras. And what grounds you to the earth to find the answer? It's very simple. It's very easy. You just got to peel the layer back, and in 30 seconds, you have the truth. The question is, do you want to create a new truth, a new answer? So when we're talking about repairing relationships, marriages, and doing this, it comes from a place of leverage, learning, and listening. And this is what today's episode's about. Feelings. Feelings are fleeting. I remember hearing that from my coach when he said that. And I'm a very emotionally driven man. Very feelings driven. Work hard. Big, big work rate. Big gas tank. But what he's helped me dial in is the facts. Because if I can leverage my feelings or learn from my feelings, and we'll talk about each one or listen to my feelings and then tie that into a set of facts of what I've done, what I need to do, and how I can move forward, mate, you guys have seen, if you followed us for a while now. We are exploding. And I say that in the right way, the term exploding, because an explosion can be bad, but we are absolutely building a phenomenal movement here, the right way. So I'm blessed to have someone who can give me exactly what I need. But feelings are important. It's what drives life. It's very important. But feelings can fleet. He's right. He's not wrong. Feelings can be fleeting. It doesn't mean it's bad. Doesn't mean it's good. You can have amazing feelings. And they can fleet. You can have really bad feelings. And you know what? They can fleet too. This too shall pass. Which means, hey, it's okay. I'll be all right. It's not that bad. The question, though, is how you apply our RDM L3 method to those feelings in your life. And what that stands for. The L3 is leverage, learn and listen in no particular order, because they all apply different skill set of awareness in themselves, from which, like everything, you can then take a new set of actions. Because this is all about being action driven. And sometimes the greatest action is no action. I get that. Creating space timeout. Slow the world down. That's all great. This is not that time for you. You're doing that right now. You're slowing the world down. You're Listening to my voice. You're present, you're here. Hopefully you are definitely, definitely don't have these running because you'll miss the mark while you're doing a shitload of other things that are requiring a large level of your attention. Monostructural things. Whether it's work, driving, yeah, cool, but you are already doing that. You're slowing down, stopping the world. You are here and now, right here, right now. The L3 method. Feelings. Leverage. Feelings are what drives us in life. It's why our Force Method, something we created many years ago, it's a phenomenal pathway to create alignment for the man and his life, family, self and service. It starts, it's an acronym, Force F. Feelings. It's what drives us. It's what will be your rod and staff when the world logically doesn't make sense. It's what can be your rod and staff to help you drive a better set of actions. And this is what the first L is. It's leverage. Because you can't argue feelings. If I'm having an argument with my wife or we're having a collision or colliding and she shares her feelings, I can't tell her she's wrong. How fucking pigheaded and ignorant of me. It's her feelings. That's her reality of her emotions and what's happening inside of her, just like you. The problem is when you don't share your feelings with your wife, you don't have clarity about where you stand yourself because you're thinking it, feeling it, expressing it. And then she doesn't understand where you stand because you're suppressing it. Or you've gone over the edge and you're filled with rage. Another moving part that clouds the judgment of what true feelings there really are inside of your circumstance. It's why I love the love language. This is why I love the term clarity in communication. It's breakdown or a breakthrough in your marriage. If you have lots, you'll break through in your marriage, improve. If you have little, you will break down. And sometimes the breakthroughs come in the breakdowns. That's absolutely true as well. Feelings. Sharing them, they are your truth in that moment in time. But they complete. So it doesn't have to be your absolute truth, which is why you must leverage your feelings when you're feeling shit. Down and out in the pit. Life's a struggle. There are hard, moving parts. You've been punched in the face all day. I mean, I had this about three weeks ago. I was just in the pit, man. I was like, fuck. I'm just. Kids aren't sleeping. Little man's got to have a couple of operations. He's got, you know, trachea, Malaysia. And that turned out to be something else. It's more of a larynx thing. And he's got a clef, and he's a soft. It's like, hell, man, this little man, he's got like a croaky voice, a croaky throat when he breathes. He's had it since he was four months of age. It's been seven months. Lillian needs to get a grommets put in again. They're falling out. She's not sleeping. Stella's nearly five. She's building a lot of attitude, which is collision with Corinne. So I'm copping the backlash of that. When I come, I'm like, man, this is the pit. My feelings are dictating that. But what changed? That was leveraging them. And this is what I mean. When you're feeling like shit, or feeling exhausted or run down or feeling like the world's against you, leverage that, leverage that to create immediate change. When you're feeling like shit, immediate change. I'm not saying being a robot, I'm not saying the whole book, five minutes thing, you know, if it's not going to give yourself five minutes and move on, or if it's not going to bother you in five years, don't worry about it. I get all that. All those little tactics can work. But this is about you. This is about you on a personal level. When you are feeling that, leverage the bad feelings that you're having to initiate change immediately, what does that look like? Doesn't mean it's passing. Doesn't mean you're robotic. Emotions are important. Feelings are important. When you're feeling like shit, you must initiate change. Leverage those as inspiration, as motivation to act right away, like right away. Men take action. What is it you know, when it comes down to it, if you don't take action, what'll change those feelings? What time a good night's sleep? Do you have that much time? Do you think it will change? Do you have a guarantee on that action will change it? It'll create certainty. It'll create control. It'll adjust your focus, It'll change your chemistry, whether it's serotonin, whether it's oxytocin, whether it's endorphins, whether it's dopamine. They're the happy hormones. Do you want some of those? All of them? None of them? What does that look like action. That's what it looks like, action. So when you feel like shit, you must leverage that to change immediately. Change your environment, change your behaviors, change the words, change where you're at. Okay, I'm in the kitchen having a breakdown. The kids are there having a blob. Hang on a minute. I'm just going to pull away. I just need to create a little bit space. This is. This is not. This is not great. Is this moving me forward? This is not wholesome. Yeah. A couple of quick questions. Triage yourself. Bang. Adjust immediately on the flip side. Leverage when the feelings are amazing. Leverage them again so when they're shit, you're feeling like shit. Run down, down and out. Change immediately with action when you're feeling amazing and you're on top of the world. Fantastic. Well done. Leverage that to triple down on what is you doing and keep going. What created the feeling? What was that? Was it the fact you got some, you know, some nice dim light and did a stretch of mobility session or did a bit of reading or did some journaling? Did. Got away from technology at night time. You went to bed at 9:30 instead of 11:30. Like, what is that? What is it? What is it? That's led. Like just backpedal a little bit. You don't need to create a journal of every step in your life, but backpedal a little bit. Why am I feeling like this? What's. What's going on? Yeah, you landed a big. A big sale or a big client or something else external and. Or you help someone change their life. You got. That's great. Don't let that define you. That's not. That's great. Like, I mean, I love serving our dads on the inside. It's awesome. Jacks me up. But a lot of the consultations that I've done, there've been plenty of guys who flaked on themselves and that's okay. Okay too. But that's exactly what they've done. They've flaked on the self. So I can get emotionally attached, but I wash my hands just as quickly because I must maintain the steel and framework of who I am. A sale doesn't define me. It's not the money tomorrow to feed my family. This is the game. This is what we play. The play playing the game of life where we continually leverage our feelings when they're bad. Turnaround change immediately when they're great. Why is that okay? Why is that attached to me? Why do I feel this way? Because that happened. Okay, well, why did that happen. If it is something that's external, that's okay. I'm not saying you should never award success or achievement that externally happened. Give yourself a pat on the back. Well, that's because I took those actions. I'm proud of myself for taking those actions. That's what it is. It's not the result. It's me having 30 phone calls and one dad comes on board. It's not the result. It's what the result was a byproduct from. And that's. That's not the numbers. That's just an example. We have a thousand phone calls. One dad comes on board. Awesome. It's not the emotional one dad comes on board. It's the result that has been driven by the process. It's always the process. I'll do another podcast on that shortly. It's always the process, not the outcome. And that's what it is. When you find that quickly and effectively, you can go, beautiful, that's the one. I'm going to triple down on that. I'm going to keep going. I'm going to keep going. Which means it's not the external outcomes that drive you. It's the measures that were in place through your actions and the process of who you are, who you decided and turned up to be, and the actions you took physically and mentally to move forward, move through the adversities, the challenges, and the resistance the universe puts in front of you to overcome those obstacles and win. Leverage. So when you're feeling like shit, leverage for change. Immediately. Immediately change that. Adjust. You need a pattern interrupt when you're winning. Fucking A. Why, though? Why am I feeling this way? How can I keep getting this? How can I get more of this? This is fantastic. How can I make more facts from this? That's incredible. It's what I love. I know I'm not here at 100% every day. I'm not going to win every day. But if I get above 85%, I'm a blue ribbon. I'm in the win zone. I'm in the winner's circle. That's what we measure. Above 85%, you're a blue ribbon. The way we track our data and work with our men week to week, that's the first L. Leverage the bad to take change immediately. Leverage the great to triple down and find out what you're doing and just keep doing that. Rinse and repeat. There's nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with that. The simples and fundamentals work best. The biggest problems you face Are always solved with the smallest solutions. Always. Please understand that when something's going, well, don't look for the next fucking shiny object. Don't get your ego out of wagon. Go. Fucking beautiful. I'm invincible now. I'm going to try this. This. No, mate, it doesn't work that way. You lose depth in what was working in the first place, and then all of a sudden you're back in the cycle. The second l. Listen. Listen or learn. We'll go and listen. It's important to actually listen to your feelings. Okay, I am feeling this way and acknowledging that. So we've got leverage. And again, this is in no order. Then we've got listen. Listen. Listen to your gut, listen to your instincts. Listen to your intuition. Listen to your feelings. I can't feel this. Why am I feeling this way? And just ask that question. Learn's different. We'll go to learn in a minute. Listen. Why am I feeling this way? I'm listening to myself. Just take this time for a second. Now, right now, how are you feeling? Is it something that's been triggered from work? Something that's been triggered from your relationship? Something that's been triggered from your lack of self, love, self value, self esteem? You look in the mirror like, I look like fucking shit. I got bags under my eyes. I'm exhausted. Like, you're setting yourself up for failure there, man. Black magic and white magic. You know, your words can be some pretty heavy black magic. And words aren't just the words that you speak vocally. Words are also thoughts inside of your head. 60 to 90,000 a day. Be careful. Is it black magic you're putting on yourself or is it the light that you're building yourself up and then becoming that, and then acting on that to become that and reinforce it again? That's your identity. So listen. You must listen to your feelings. Don't be triggered. Anger, rage. And you got to be careful, they can manifest. Someone who's genuinely envious could turn into jealousy. Love could turn into possession. Anger can turn into rage. You know, grief can turn into depression. There's a series of core ones where they can really manifest if you don't listen to them. That's why I did a post the other day about fear. But it's from opinions. I'll always listen to someone's opinion, but if it comes from a continual place of fear, I won't acknowledge it or respect it. And I had a few people, they were like, oh, well, I think it's fair. Should everyone has an opinion. You should Always acknowledge it. Like, that's fair, you know, Even if it is fear and blah, blah, blah. I'm like, okay, you don't understand what I'm saying, though. Get what you're saying. I'm no fucking superhero. I experience fear. We all do. I'm invincible. I'm unshakable, but not invincible. But we all experience fear. I'm not talking about that. When you're delivering an opinion, an opinion is something that you've taken in perceptually, calculated to suit your narrative, to then become a belief system which you now express onto others. That's what an opinion is. Which means you've allowed fear to fucking manifest inside of your life, become a part of who you are. And now you're dumping that shit onto other people. How fucking dare you? Why would I respect that? Why would you even respect it? Please tell me, why would you respect that? Why would you acknowledge that? Out of safety? Security? Are you kidding me? From what? For what? How about you invest in yourself and stand up how you can so you can actually move forward the way that you want because you have the steel framework and skill sets and ability physically and mentally, to handle what the world throws at you. Maybe that's a little bit better instead of the house of cards approach. This is why it's a frustrating thing at times. Doesn't sit with me, though. Again, it's a feeling. It's frustrating at times. And people don't quite understand the depth of what they can do in exploring themselves. To go, oh, yeah, actually, yeah, no, I am. I am chronically this way. I'm feeling this way because they're not listening. Listen to your feelings. I experience fear. Fear's not going to rule my life. No fucking way. Comes as quick as it goes. And it shouldn't rule yours either. Listen to your feelings. And yes, I remember Pop saying, opinions are like assholes. Everyone's got one. Oh, man, he had some good sayings. He had a great one, actually. I'll share with you guys now, just as a little bit of a break before we dive into the last one. Pop was an ex sergeant and, you know, he's got some good stories of the old. The old coppers. Well, had some. He passed away a few years ago, but yeah, man, he had a great one. Words, forget me. A great book. And one of them in there was, if your brains were ink, you wouldn't have enough for a full stop. And I was like, fucking, oh, that's. That's a crack up, Pop. That's so good. And I feel like saying that to people sometimes. If your brains were ink, you wouldn't have enough for a full stop. He used to deliver that so good, man. You should use that. I'll give you that one. You guys have listened to it now. Definitely use that. Fuck. It's a perler. Oh, actually, that's. That's what I should do every week. Make it a weekly theme from the book that Pop gave me. There's some. Pearl is in there. Opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one. But it's the energy behind that. And the energy that drives life a lot of the times is not the facts. We create, recreate, fabricate the facts. Past, future and present. It's the feelings. So listen to them, man. You need to listen to your feelings. Okay. All right. Why am I feeling this way? Is this moving me forward? How is this helping me? And then the final one is learn. So when you're leveraging bad good, triple down on the good. Change with action from the bad. When you're listening, both of those could lead into learning and other bits and pieces. Learning from an environment point of view, learning from an experiential point of view. With your children, with your wife, with your business or your employees or your workers or your organization, with your community, with your society. Learn. Learn from your feelings. Okay, why am I feeling this way? Cool. I'm feeling this way because of this. Is this going to move me forward? Well, no, it's not. Okay, well, let's learn from that. How can I change? What can I do in the future so that this doesn't become a pattern that's. That's repetitious, like a pattern that sticks. Patterns can be long, short. It could be a pattern that happens every year, pattern that happens every day. How do I turn that? It's our chemistry of habits, all right? It's a solid in my life at the moment. Cool. Well, not so cool. I don't want it to be there. How do I turn that into a liquid? Less frequent. Turn into a gas, disperse it. It's no longer a habit. Feelings are a habit as well. Feelings are absolutely a habit. Isn't life crazy, man? Isn't it crazy? Leverage the bad to take action right away. Learn from the good to triple down on what's working. Listen to why you are feeling that way. What's become of that? What is the source from that? Learn. How do I adjust? How do I keep going? How do I continue to move towards the feelings I desire? How do I continue to build the right habits to Take away the feelings I don't. How do I learn where I can place myself? How do I learn what environments are working for me, nurturing me in my corner? Which ones aren't? How do I learn to communicate and talk with my wife so I don't feel triggered? I come from a humble place when she's fucking triggered. And she's coming at me because the kids have been a nightmare all day. Well, I've had a fucking hard day at work too, haven't I? Maybe don't say those words to her, darling. Thank you. I appreciate you've had a crazy tough day. Look, I've been under the pump. I've had a couple of things. Please, just give me five minutes. Let me decompress. I'll pop my bag down. I'll quickly wash my face. Let's sort the kids out. We've got this. We've got this covered. Diffuse the fires. Take leadership beyond the level. Use your feelings of as leverage. Your feelings are one of leadership, temperament and love. But most importantly, stability. It's what women want, man. It's what you want. You want stability inside of your life. It gives you the ability to take risks and know you'll be okay. It gives you the ability to. The ability to expand and explore yourself, try different things. It gives you the ability to have more control and side of yourself, which means certainty. Yes. This is who I am. You know why? Because I've done it fucking 10,000 times and I can do it another 10,000. Stability is key, man. To your freedom. That's what women want as well. It's not boring. It can create spontaneity very easily. It can create structure. It can create everything. Which means the highs and lows of life are great. It's not here to be a carousel. But who's pulling the levers? Who's in control of the roller coaster? Are you building out the course? Are you pressing stop, start? Have you got the loop de loops, the turns, the vertical loops? Are you putting all those in place? Or is someone else doing that for you? Because you don't have stability inside of yourself with the feelings that you shed and share and expose to yourself, to others, and experience every single day. I hope this episode has served you well. Apart from Pop's joke. What a cracker. If your brains were ink, you wouldn't have enough for a full stop. Fucking hell. There's plenty of people I've met in my lifetime like that. I hope you enjoyed this. I know we had a couple of. Couple of solid points and A couple of points where I guess maybe it's part of my makeup. Yes, I will be direct when something's important. I will swear when something's important. But take your time on this. Explore yourself and above all else, take action. How can I leverage my feelings when they're good and when they're bad? Where? What does that look like? Your eyes are better than mine. This is your life. Is it on the work site? Is it in your car? Is it the environment of your bathroom? Of your bedroom? Of your man cave, Your garage? What can you put in there? What can you change up there? You don't need to put a big poster of me in there. That's okay. We'll roll them out in 20, 22. But what do you need to put inside of your perceptual awareness? Your eyes, your ears, your mouth? Nutrition is important. Chemical health. What do you need to put inside of you so you can immerse in the right place, physically and mentally to make sure you can move forward? What can you leverage there? Listen to your feelings. What's going on here and why? Where did it come from? Learn from that. How can I change that? What can I do? How can I improve? What do I want to hold on to? What can I do? How can I be better here? How can I be better for others? How can I be better for myself? That's critical, man. Just like knowledge. Knowledge alone means fuck all. It's worse than ignorance because you know what you should do and you haven't done it. You become the old wizard kicking back in the library, twiddling his thumbs and curling his beard up with all this theory, but no fucking real life experience. Learn, do reflect. That's true power. That's true power, not knowledge alone. Apply that now, mate. I hope this has served you well. And really use those feelings. They are there. They're important. You are worthy. This is your life. You should express them. You should hold them. They should be true. The bad, the good, the ugly, all of them. You cannot have day without night. You cannot have the light without darkness. It's two sides of the same coin, man. I'm not here to say that no one should ever. I feel shit. We all have feelings of shit. Down and out, tired like that. We all feel that. It's great because it makes me feel blessed when I'm on top of. But how I work on myself and develop and invest myself means that when I feel shit, man, I'm dropping from 98 to 90%. I'm not in the pit. Whereas right now, if you're operating at 40, 50, 60%, you drop down at 2010. That's heavy, man. That's a tough place to be. Let's build you up. Let's build you up to get in that wind zone above 75%, get in the blue ribbon corner above 85% and hum towards a legacy that you can live and leave through having the feelings that drive you, that drives life in. Building your legacy for your children through building your legacy through yourself. 1,000 minutes a day. It's a lot. But when you're wasted on shit that doesn't serve you or move yourself or your family forward, you are bleeding the most valuable resource that you and I never get back. How much time do you think you have? And how much quality do you think you've had? Don't be a fool like the masses, thinking you'll cheat the system or get round to it one day or worse. Just accepting life and sinking back into a slumber of regret. This is your moment, your time. You're cut from a different cloth. You have the hunger and desire to be more and live more. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. So stand up, find the golden nuggets. In this episode, you just listened to and align immediate action with them and where you want to go. You are worthy. This is your life. You are the king. And this is your kingdom. Now go and claim it by showing, not telling, and be the real leader. You and I both know you were born to be.