141. HPF - Mentality Maketh The Man

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement podcast. The point and purpose of these episodes, as always, is to have a point and purpose towards helping you win the second half in life by building a path of becoming the best father, husband, man and member of your community that you can be. We do this with various ways of connecting. Life is connection. And as you hear these words spoken time and time again, know that the driving force of connection in life is energy. Which means that how you turn up as a father, as a husband, as a valued member of society will always start and end with how you turn up as a man within yourself. First, this is why it's my mission, my purpose, our mission, our purpose through Real Dad Movement to inspire, motivate, educate and guide you into thoughts, feelings, actions and a change in your belief systems to rise up, cut the shit from your life and live and leave a real legacy. When dads win, everyone wins. And when you win, I win. Let's get moving forward, mate. Right here, right now. Mentality HPF episode Special edition. We do every single Tuesday. We've got one of our head honchos who does a phenomenal amount of behind the scenes work. Mr. Adam Task is with us. I only got it wrong once, Tasker, and I was immediately corrected. So thank you for that.

Don't worry, my father in law got it wrong at our wedding, so from there everything's up.

Did he though, did he get it wrong or was he being like calculated? Yeah, like many father in laws. Thanks for joining us, man. Good to have you on for this special edition.

I'm looking forward to it.

It's a great one that we've, we had planned, but we had planned with a few different moving parts and I was like, what, what is this episode actually about? What will it be about for those listening? And the common theme here is mentality, your mentality, how are you, how are you turning up? And mentality could be something that could also have the same term as attitude, as behavior. Like what's, what's your mental approach towards people, places and things? Certain environments, certain settings. And when I say environment settings, we're talking about situations. So whether it's the kids misbehaving, not going to sleep, the wife being triggered, you being triggered, being someone who's run out of steam, you don't have endurance to carry the day. Energy is a massive one that we know about. What are these triggers which a trigger is really, if it's repeatable or repeated, it is part of your mentality, but it's something that becomes a Habit and a belief system, otherwise why the fuck would you keep doing it? So mentality, really interesting, I guess from the inside we want to share because that's what these are about. What do you find ADS is the main mentality of a man before he joins our high performance father program. What does that look like? So we can identify. And it's not a judgment thing, it's observation. Because a lot of you guys might be feeling the same. What do you spot, man? Because you're one of our main guys who really helps develop these guys using a lot of the back end technology and stuff that you've created, but also the front end connection and helping them move forward. What does that look like? What are these men who are coming to us, which are probably like a lot of the other men like yourself listening to this, who may find some similarities. What's their mentality like? What are they like as they, as they come in?

I think for me something that does stand out a lot is, is there's a lot of victim mentality, but it's a very unconscious victim mentality. So they, they might be leaders in a certain area, whether it's work, whether it's, you know, a sporting club, anything like that. They're like, I'm the big dog. But then unconsciously in other areas where, whether it is family, they just give away the control unconsciously. You know, perfect example is being triggered with the kids. You know, you, you're at home, your kids screaming at you because they're having a bad day, so you scream back at them. So you've actually unconsciously given away your control to your child who has no concept of what that means. And you know, but then, you know, at the end of the day you're exhausted, you're, you're cranky and you're like, ah, you know, fuck me, my kids are doing this, my wife's doing this. This is all happening to me. But you've handed that control away. And I think that that's the mentality because it's so insidious that we don't even realize it. It's like, I'm the big dog. This doesn't happen to me. It's, it's someone, it's always someone else's fault. And you know what we know about the little voice, we've talked about it quite often, that little voice inside and in your head talking about like chipping away at what you're doing. But it's the unconscious one that, that you actually give away control to other people and then that's, that's the really powerful one that I see quite often, especially with everything going on. And we won't, we won't touch too much on that in what's going on in the world. But so many people are giving away their control and giving away and becoming victims of what's happening when they don't realize exactly how much control they can assert on their own environment.

Yeah, it's, it's fascinating, isn't like, one thing I think of is when we're talking about ownership, responsibility, when we're pushing this message hard, whether it's my paid advertising, these podcasts, the YouTube episodes, the coaching that we do in our free high performance father community, don't forget, if you haven't jumped on that, we will have limited numbers. You know, I don't really want it to be a free community of bloody 50,000 dads. So if you haven't had a chance yet, type in HPF community in Facebook and you will find the group about 500 strong in I think what's been just over a week. So it's, it's growing rapidly, but we will cap that. But make sure you join that. You can do that after this episode. But when we're talking about and pushing this message of ownership, responsibility, some of you, when you're triggered, you may see that from a pointing the finger and a judgment and blame thing, it's actually a form of guidance to help you liberate yourself. Because like Adam just said then if you don't take ownership and responsibility of your position, you have fuck all control. Which means you're doing that. And look, you may flick the switch and be the man at work. Good for you. What about every other area of your life? You're building in patterns where you are literally creating the wrong kinds of lines in the sand when it comes to being more connected to life. Because you can't have connection if you don't have self control to a degree of your actions, your feelings, your emotions, where instead of them running you, you are the top dog who's running the show inside of your own life. You are the author of your own book, you are the main character of your story. Instead of just sitting on the sidelines of life. And we talk about this, mate, don't we? Like do you really have control or not? Like ads are saying most of you guys, it is a subconscious awareness which is 91% of our life. Why do you think guys are like that though? Like, why do they come in and they have that? Just like most people in life, is it because of patterns, environment, like, what's led to that being something that's so chronically ingrained in their life?

I think a lot of it comes down to fear. In one form or another. They're either, you know, and we see it a lot. And this ties into self belief, identity. They're actually a lot of the time and we see guys that go through the whole process to join and then at the last minute find a bullshit reason not to. Because I think more so that they're not afraid of failing, they're afraid of succeeding because they don't know what it looks like. And I've heard it spoken about where guys will sit in a relationship that's 3 out of 10 because they don't want to leave and potentially go to a 5 out of 10 because what happens if they fail and they go to a 1 out of 10? So they're actually scared of the possibilities. They're scared because first of all, they don't believe in themselves. They don't have a mindset where they, they regularly achieve what they want to achieve. And again, like, in what this, this could be one area. So, and we talk about it regularly. Family, self and service, they might be crushing two of those areas, but in that other area they're just completely falling down. And, and for us, that's, that's not success. You know, just if externally you got a million dollars and you're driving flash cars and everything's going great, but as soon as you walk in the door, your family hates you and your wife hates you, well, that, that's not success. So for us, that's that fear of, of the unknown, of, of putting yourself out there and being slapped down. And sometimes with your family especially, that can be really frightening because, you know, with your wife, you know, things are drifting. You're not quite, you're not quite there, you're not quite connected. I know that I need to have a conversation with her, but shit, what happens if she turns around and goes, I feel exactly the same way. Fucking see you later. Pat your bags. So they're actually scared to change things because they're worried that if they do take control and they get pushback, that they don't have enough, I guess, resilience to push all the way through and actually get the result they need.

It's fascinating, isn't it? Like it all comes down to decisions. That's what it is. And when you're deciding not to decide, that's a decision in itself, which means when you're not building active awareness at the forefront of your mind, your life in family, self and service. You can have all three. You're not a high performance father because you're not taking lead, you're not taking action with the gift that you are in life and the energy that you can express and control because you've got some runs on the board, good, bad and the ugly. You've got some experience under your belt. Fuck man. Use that. Don't use it to move away from where you want to go. Use it to move towards where you want to go. And that includes unknowns like Adam was saying, of course. And it includes uncertainties if you do nothing about it. And that's the frustrating part I guess that we see with a lot of guys in not taking that level of ownership like you said with some of the excuses. Look, you don't have to sign up and join our high performance father program. And the way that we work and the results and the runs on the board that we get is a great demand. It's not that we're arrogant, but we are picky and choosy of who actually shows that level of commitment. And yes, it's a financial commitment, but ultimately remove all of that. They're all forms of an expression of energy in time and energy that you've used to accumulate different forms of wealth, whether it be money, experiences, relationships, health, but also for future and better time and energy because you're giving back to yourself and investing in yourself again. And it's very simple. It's not the I'll check with my wife, I'll think about it, I don't have money, any sort of stuff. It's the resourcefulness and the awareness to understand that it's super simple. You've got four doors, do fucking nothing. And that's exactly where you'll keep going. Do it yourself. Awesome. How's that turned out for you so far? Where's that going to take you? Do it half assed and try the shiny objects, the flashy things. And people who aren't invested in your life, they just want to give you a little bit of time for a little bit of your money or go all in, I don't know about you ads, but I mean for me life is always all in. There is no alternative. And when you start to build that mentality, you start to remove the fears that you're right that create the subconscious self sabotage that most blokes don't even know they have because they don't even believe it's possible or think that it's possible because they're not exposing themselves to the temporary discomfort of change. When in reality we're always changing. And in the biggest reality, our path's the fucking easy path. Like you join high performance father. That's the easy way out. Don't worry about that. Because what you're momentarily doing is the easy way out becomes the very, very fucking hard path. When you're looking back over your life filled with regrets and your children don't even know who you are anymore and you're about to die in early life, laying on your deathbed thinking of what could have, should have, or maybe not even having that because you're so far gone you can't even conceive what could have been possible in turning your life around from being a fucking victim.

Yeah, you're right. And it's something, I'm glad you mentioned that, because it is hard. And when there's no bones about it, making changes is uncomfortable. And it's hard, but it's hard for a finite amount of time until you get a groove. So any changing, any habit, especially if you've got some really bad habits, that is tough, that is uncomfortable, and you have to face that truth and you have to be persistent. And I think that's the other, the flip side. On top of the fear, it's that lack of resilience to actually push through to the other end. You know, a lot of fathers will, and I was guilty of it as well. You do something for a week and you go, geez, that was really hard. I haven't, I haven't got any results. Fuck this, I'll just go back and do what I was doing. So to not have that resistance and the resilience to push all the way through to the end and then realize to be, actually be able to look back and go, wow, look at all the changes. You know, that's, that's what any man needs to make real sustainable change in their life. You can't, you cannot half ass it. You have to go all in whatever format that is. You know, we talk about what we've, what we've achieved with, with RDM and HPF program in the last 12 months. And looking back, you know, they're massive changes we've made in the company, in the program. And at the time I think we're all scratching heads at times going, shit, is this going to work? This is really hard. We're doing long hours. But looking back at the result, we can go that we're so proud of what we achieved. And it can be the same in anything in your life. You only really get a full understanding of what you've achieved when you look back on it. It's really hard to get that while you're in it. But you have to trust the process and you have to understand that. And this is where our program comes in because we have clarity over what we're trying to achieve. We know the outcomes we're looking for, we know the feelings that we're looking for. We know the roadblocks that we're going to overcome and we know how to do that. We know the steps we need to take. We determine the action and we just trust the process. We have to turn up every single day and trust the process. You know, there's going to be days where you fall off the wagon, but you get back on. You keep pushing. You cannot stop because the minute you stop, that's, that's time wasted. And you can still pick it up. You can definitely still pick it up again. But all that time in the middle, you've either sat where you were, you've gone backwards and you've got to start again and you've got to, you've got to go through all that pain and uncomfortable feelings all over again. So the best way to do it is just relentless action every day. And it doesn't have to be huge, earth shattering things every, every day. You know, you don't have to take your missus to Disneyland every week and the kids, but just do one thing, just. And we always talk about this on the inside, just one thing every day for family, self and service that will move you forward. It only has to be one step, but you have to move.

It's what a horrific cycle that you explained there. There's nothing I could think of worse than rep failures. You know, you see different acronyms around the word fail. First attempt in learning. For me, I think for most people it's final attempt in learning because a lot of them just fucking give up. Like it's the, the amount of blood, sweat and tears that has gone into what we've created. Not just by me, but by all of our team and our members who've contributed to this message through their results, their commitment and their resilience, like you said, and overcoming resistances. It's fucking riddled with failures. Micro though you can, you know, you got to zoom out and then zoom in. And that's what Adam's talking about. Like let's get those little 1 percenters. Those little daily shifts this year has been A monstrous year. It's just completely changed like it is. We are completely different to 2020. Not even 12 months ago, you know, because we're only in September now. Completely different. And it's fascinating when you just mentioned that. I was actually just reflecting on all the changes and I was like, man, we've, we've pushed and we've just, we've just created something or change or upgraded and then we implement it and then we upgrade it again. And it's. I'm probably a fucking headache for a lot of our team members shout out, drew, yeah, we get something set in stone. It's fucking amazing. And then we're like, actually, we can make it just a little bit more amazing. Let's go again. And. But it's something that I'm very proud of because guys have been with us, especially since Day Dot. Zach's one of our members was having a chat with him yesterday. He's like, man, he's like, credit to you, man. From day one, you've always pushed improvement and it's just, it's ridiculous how much this program has evolved. But the hard part is with a lot of the guys, like ADS was explaining going through a cycle of having to start and restarting and restarting. Fuck, man. You're going to use that time anyway. Like, you may as well use it in a way that's going to position you to just start building in a healthy habit one at a time. And healthy isn't just about physical health and, well, being healthy in terms of your life, your connection, your relationships, and recognizing where you can get control back inside of your life. Because some of you guys are trying to be the Viking too much and you're just at war. You're at fucking war all the time. And that is draining. That's draining for your wife. You are breaking her. It's draining for your children. You're breaking them down to the possibilities and you're limiting the vision that they have beautiful children that we have with an absolutely blank canvas to go out and experiment in the world that I want to do this. And all of a sudden you are subtly creating boundaries, the wrong framework around the possibilities. That really destroys a lot of dreams that you don't even know are being created or manifested inside of them. That's an earth shattering thing to recognize and it's gut wrenching. I haven't had that. But me visualizing me doing that to my children, that fucking cuts me in half, man.

Yeah, I think there's a difference there between boundaries and restrictions. You Set boundaries. And this isn't just for your kids. This is in life. You set healthy boundaries. If you're at work and you're working seven hours a week and your doors always open and people just are constantly coming in and stealing your time, and you're allowing that you haven't set your boundaries. But then on the flip side, if you decide your staff, your clients, no one can reach me for a week. And I'm just going to focus on this. You're setting an unhealthy restriction because you're not supporting the people around you.

So.

So you need to find the balance between the two so that you're still supporting, but you can hold your own boundaries around yourself for what you need. And you need to understand what that is. Whether it's creating space, whether it's training, dealing with nutrition, all these things, they have to come first. You set the boundary. This is what I'm allowing for myself and that I need. And you communicate that with clarity around you, and then anything else from there is, okay, I'll allow my time. It's unrestricted because your boundaries are set of what you need first.

And this is, this is what we spoke about in one of our other episodes, the Viking and the Panda. You know, like Adam was saying, there's times when you want to set those and there's different ways to construct the same message. I agree with you 100%, man. Like restrictions and boundaries. Let's set healthy boundaries, healthy no's and solid yeses to yourself. But then also at times, you must be open and reciprocal. So you can't always be going at war like the Viking, but you can't always be a pushover as well and be a panda. I mean, look, don't get me wrong, that's more symbolism. I mean, if a panda, you know, got fired up, he'd fucking tear anything in half. But you know what I mean. We're talking about the soft, cuddly, cruisy, sitting back, chewing on some bamboo. I'm telling you right now, man, just on one area of example, women do not want a chronically. That word's important. They don't want a chronically submissive and passive man. Because if you're a fucking pussy all the time, you don't stand up, you don't have an identity, then you're not expressing level of energy and leadership in what you stand up for, what's right for yourself, what your needs and desires are, which means it's not going to be respected and you will be a pushover. And on the flip side, when you hold that nice big sweet spot between being a panda and a Viking, you're absolutely creating more appreciation because you're appreciating more affection, because you're showing affection, more respect because you're being respectful of yourself and of those around you, which all equals more value. More value and worth and love, to be fair. And you need to have both. And a lot of that comes down to your mentality. But hard part is, Adam, when guys are tired and fatigued and they're not investing in themselves, it's not just about your physical energy. We spoke about this. You know, you spend 12 months with us, we will triple your energy. You're already reasonably fit and healthy. Awesome. Great. How's your fucking energy and your endurance and stamina with your mindset, with the way that you approach your relationships, your connection to your family, to your work, to your life, to yourself? Maybe that's piss week. Maybe that's just bone and a little bit of skeletal muscle and you need to improve on that. You might be physically healthy and strong, but how about your mental state of mind? We're talking about energy. It's physical and mental. And if you're not investing in that, then you're meeting conflict with conflict. That isn't healthy and doesn't have a purpose. You're doing things just because you're tired and triggered. This was me last night. Man, the kids were a nightmare. And because I had the mental endurance and fortitude, I didn't lose control. I shifted and adjusted the environment. I shifted and adjusted my place in the environment. I went and tried to sort Lillian out in bed, then swapped and did Roman. And Lillian and Roman were both screaming. Stella was pretty good, but then she was a bit of a pain in the ass as well. It's like, man, this is life. I'm not superhuman, but the reason why I am a high performance father is I have amazing mental endurance. I don't lose control of my triggers because I've got a deep, dark rage side to me that I used to bring out with rugby league and sometimes with exercise, but that's it. I control that. I don't bring it out to anyone else because it's A, undeserving, B, unrecognizable on the purpose behind it, especially if it's my children. And C, it's unnaturing to myself and I don't have that control. And that's where a lot of you guys need to realize that two negatives don't make a positive. If the missus is barking at you. There's obviously something that's triggered her inside of her world. How can you rise one level above the chaos and be the bigger man, be the better man inside of the older version who may not have been able to control and steer his input in the situation, which leads to a breakdown. This is just important, mate with relationships. But all that starts because it's just important with their relationship to themselves and having that mentality.

Yeah, big time. And I think, I think one thing that stands out for me in that scenario is the process as well. And as you know, I'm very systems driven. Process driven. When you create a process and a system for yourself, when you don't have the mental energy to be conscious, your unconscious kicks in. So you are your habits. So when you're tired, when you're exhausted, you can't think logically for yourself of where you should do and the emotions start to take over. You can lock that yourself straight into your unconscious and go, well, what do I need to do right now? Because I've done it so many times in that scenario, what do I do? Because consciously I've done it enough so that I now can unconsciously do it? You hear, you know, sports people talk about it all the time. They practice a movement or a set play. So often it becomes second nature. If you can do that in your life when everything's going to shit, you make. Make your play, you make that second nature, okay? And to be honest, I'm still working on this, you know, and, and we're not. We're not sitting here preaching from a point of we're perfect with. We are still works in progress, you know, we're still working on these things. And for any father out there that thinks we've got it all together, we do in some areas, but some areas are still working on it, that's okay. But you've got to work on the process all the time, you know, identify what went wrong. You know, if you have had an absolute screaming match. I've got three boys and it can be chaos. If I haven't controlled my energy, I have to sit back and go, well, how did I. How could I handle that better? So next time I can do that. So again, when I'm tired and I had a similar situation, Al, where I'm very exhausted last night and the kids were bouncing off walls and that sort of stuff, and I didn't handle it as well as I'd like, and that's okay, because I can. Okay, next time I'll do better and consciously I'll do better so that my kids get the right energy from me. And it's, it's kind of an analogy that, that I like is, you know, again, like, if you're, if you're sitting there having a screaming match with your 4 year old, who's in control here, if you're blaming your kids for how you're reacting, it's like, I'm always angry because my kids are little shits. You're the parent who, you're allowing your child to control the house in a very subtle way. And they understand that. Because kids, I think, especially younger kids, they feed off energy. Most of their decisions are made of energy. So if you're allowing them to control the energy of the house, they will. And, and if they don't have the tools in place from you to, to control their own energy and you rise to that, all it's going to do is escalate and that. And you know, and I've heard it said before, you wake up angry kids for something they did yesterday. So straight away, they might actually be in a good place because of your negative energy. You're bringing that to them and they'll just, they'll match you. So it's just, it's a perpetuating cycle on energy. So at some point there needs to be a circuit breaker and that has to be the father. And that's what we're here for. We're here in a way to be the circuit breaker if all that energy is going bad. You know, if you're coming home from work and you've got shit energy and you'll, you're barging in the door, throwing stuff down, you got the shits, your kids and your wife will match that energy. But if you just take the time, create a bit of space, do your breathing exercises, we talk about it probably every second podcast we do. And breathing, just getting yourself centered, in control so that whatever you walk into when you get home, you can control the energy. You don't have to come in and dominate the house, but through your energy, through your influence, you can bring it back to where it needs to be. That, that's super powerful for fathers.

Yeah, couldn't agree more, man. Like, life is a process and no one responds to energy. We all respond to energy. Adults, you guys are responding to our energy right now. What we're in, you know, implementing and injecting into this session where it's like, okay, regardless of whether you listen to this today, tomorrow, the next day of when we've set it up and filmed it. You are absorbing a level of energy. It's an influence to shift your perceptions and reposition yourself. What's different with our children? So when we're looking at that in life being a process, a lot of the challenges, like you're saying ads is people aren't even aware. That's what happens when you just go through the motions of life. You just fuck, man. You're just going through the motions. You know that term like going through the motions? Mouse and a spinning wheel. Groundhog Day. You know, I've buried my head in the sand. I'm just going, I'm just in the groin grind. It's like, man, we've both grinded heaps in life and there's still periods and pockets where we need to grind. October is going to be a monstrous month for me. So guess what? I had a chat with my wife last night, said, look, I've spent great time with the children for a few months. We've got an awesome team that's helping in a lot of ways because we've had a few operations with our kids. We've got another one this Thursday with Lillian and it's, you know, it's time where I need to jump back into my little pod and I need to, I need to get to work. We've got an amazing rebuild program. We are rebuilding you as a man, as a father. We're turning you into a high performance father. That's a phenomenal 16 week, four month program. Our hpf rebuild on top of upgrading all of our delivery systems, our guest coaches, speakers, and the ways that we're going to continually physically and mentally nurture the men on the inside and provide value to you guys as well, but develop them to become true high performance fathers in family, self and service. And Adam's right, we're not perfect and I never claim to be, but the reason why I am successful and we are successful is because. Successful, I'll say that word again. Is because you can tell I had a fucking great night's sleep last night. I'll tell you what, man, is because we keep turning up. We keep turning up. It's like, okay, I just fucked that word successful. But I keep turning up and I keep moving forward. I don't sit on my hands and ponder about the time when Al could have said successful better. I just keep moving forward and I keep continuing that hunger for growth and changing. And this is the difference. If I let my emotions feed me, then what they're doing is they're feeding a fantasy instead of me feeding my emotions with facts, you must control them, man, because you're going to cop all the pat on the backs and get that nice hit of dopamine and that fulfillment and reward from someone who's fucking jerking you off and you're going to take that awesome. Guess what? If you hinge your identity and validate who you are off the back of the emotions and feelings you've allowed someone to influence and put inside of your mind, or when that little creature comes up inside of you, or whether it's you with your little self sabotage voice inside of someone else who's fucking hacking shit and criticizing you, you're going to use the exact same pattern and system because your subconscious doesn't know any different. That's then going to pull you to pieces and tear you apart. Let me just clarify though, that doesn't mean that when Adam says, well done Al good, you know, and gives me a pat on the back for where we're building and what we're doing, or some of you guys contact me and say, man, that podcast episode was awes awesome or this has changed my life, Trust me, I'm not dismissing it. I'm humbled. We are humbled. I love it, it's fantastic. It's awesome. But it's also taken with respect, with a grain of salt on the other side of going, I appreciate that. But also, look, this is my purpose and what drives me. So I'm sort of not surprised because I'm putting a lot of fucking effort into this and creating this. Just like on the flip side, when I cop abuse and guys who call me a snake oil salesman and scam, you got me. You got me. Oh no. Game over. It's snake oil. It's a great moisturizer. Actually. We've got our own skincare products, but there's no snake oil in it. But look, when I get that, it's like, yeah, man, like they don't know who I am. And this is something you guys need to be cautious of. Feed the emotions of what may be allowed or not allowed subconsciously or actively as an influence to who you are. By getting clear on the facts. Someone goes, oh, this is a scam. I look at that right away, I'm like, okay, well that's cool. That's his perception. But also it's a hard one for me to agree with you, mate, because I've got so many fucking fathers. Their testimonial stories, videos, spoken to their family members, done live events like, I guess there's just so much evidence that backs up the opposite of your argument. So I probably can't agree with you calling me a scam. I'm sorry, mate, but I appreciate the. The feedback. Thank you. I hope all's well on your end when you're really, you know, projecting a reflection of your internal securities of when you've probably been burnt. But that's now carrying again. Subconscious doesn't know that's carrying through to all the other areas of your relationships, so you're actually cutting your own fucking legs off. So I feel for you, man. Which is why a lot of the times you guys might see my bad advertising, I kill it with love, because I'm like, fuck, I don't know who this bloke is. He's obviously in trouble. He's having some hardships and I'm his outlet. It's not great for him, but I can't allow that to enter my frame. That's the importance of feeding your emotions with facts. And like you were saying, Adam, you must be actively aware. Otherwise, yeah, your subconscious will take over and it will fucking run rampant inside of your mind.

Yeah, you're right. And it's funny, like, just talking about the identity stuff and I love. I love a good sport analogy, so I always throw them in here, but it's like the guy.

And.

And I've been guilty of this too. You sit there and you're playing like, just a story of my own background. I played amateur sport and afl. And you'd sit there on a Thursday night, you not get picked in the team, and all of a sudden you're down on yourself for a week because you didn't get picked. And it's like the end of the day, who gives a. Yeah, it's. It's a. You know, it's. It's a cop. You cop a knock. But does that change your identity? Does that change who you are? Of course not. And it's the same with, with feedback from people and. And the other dangerous thing is letting people, I guess, choose your outcomes for you or choose your goals for you. Because straight away, again, back to the control. You're. You're not in control of. Of what you're doing. You know, people can come up to Alan, go, oh, this is what you should do with rdm. Or come up to me and go, oh, you shouldn't be doing this. You should be doing this. Ultimately, yeah, I'll take their feedback on board. They might have a point, but it's not. Not for fucking. It's not for them to decide on what you should do. Because that as soon as you do that, you don't have any tie for your identity to what you're actually achieving because you've allowed someone else to control your narrative, which is just doesn't work. You need to be in control of everything you're doing from the outcomes you want to the actions. And that's what you get your identity from, from the continual habits, the continual growth. And yeah, you might have setbacks, but you know that that's part of the process. That setback doesn't define you. Same as the result itself doesn't define you. It's the continual habits you're taking and the growth you're having. That's the definition. That's your identity. That's how that builds.

It's crazy, isn't it man? Every time. Because you and me obviously work together every single day. But every time there's some sort of mental component to something. And in this episode being mentality, we'll think of a title Mentality of Man of Modern Men. I just always come back to the whole yes and no. I mean, that's a question I have on our whiteboard. Yes or no with a question mark. Closer or further with a question mark. What am I saying yes to? Which means I'm inadvertently saying no and vice versa. And then are my actions and is what I'm doing right now moving me closer to where I want to become that next version of Babel, further away, but also enjoying the process. Like you're only going to be the age you are right now once for one year and then the next year and the next year, next year. So it's like, okay, yeah, you want to set your fucking 10 year goals? Awesome, good for you. What are you doing for this year? You shouldn't be going through nine years of shit just to come out the other and go, we're here. Well, I don't know about you ads, but I guess that's sort of like 3,000 days. I would have preferred to probably had a better outlook on life instead of just thinking I'm going through a grind and she'll be right, I'll make it one day. Because some guys don't. Life gets in the way. Accidents happen. And I love what you said then about the sport example because it made me think of the amount of guys look through hpf, rdm, my gyms personal coach. Like there have been thousands and thousands of fathers we've served with over the years. And through our high performance father program, we've had hundreds on our Inner Circle program. But fuck, man, getting picked. And it's not that the guys aren't picking us, they're not picking themselves. Because every consultation we have, when we show you what we do and how we do it, which is pretty available for anyone now, really, you can find it anywhere. But on a deeper level, one to one, not once have we ever had a father say, there's no way this will help me. Not once.

That's right.

There's always like, this can be for every father. But the reality is it isn't because he doesn't pick himself, but from Adam's perspective, what he spoke about with teams, I just thought through then, like we have hundreds of thousands of fathers who've gone through countless conversations that I've had with men, whether you want to call them prospects or potential clients or, you know, when it comes to that term. You said getting picked. I'll tell you guys, I'll let you guys in on a little secret. You are not going to get picked in life way fucking more than you're going to get picked. When it comes down to things you don't control, when it comes down to life, other people, places and things, you will not get picked up. You will get rejected. Those rejections, they come in by the fucking truckloads. I remember Les Brown saying that. I'm like, I don't understand what he means. But yeah, great motivational speaker in the 80s and 90s and, and now I do. I'm getting it just like another guy, Grant Cardone, he's like, mate, you know, I've done millions of phone calls to find those thousand that are going all in with me. And it's like he said it in different terms, but the story's the same. I'm telling you right now, you're not going to get picked with most fucking things in life. The question is, are you going to position yourself with a level of control and power, actively aware of your life so that you bring up the opportunities so what you can control, you are picking yourself. And what you don't control, you've shown and express that energy and leadership and influence family, friends, wife, people, places and things so that you do get picked for the right things for the right reasons. Like you and I, we've been picked for life 1 in 400 trillion. I mean, that's pretty, that's a pretty great pick, isn't it? But then this week we'll get metaphorically punched in the face dozens and dozens of times. But then we'll have, you know, four to 10 new members join and come on board. Fantastic. That's four to 10 new fathers who are going to completely transform their life. Which means that's four to 10 families. That means that generally 10 to 30 children. I'm just working the numbers now. I don't really think about this that much because it's not about my ego or it's just being humble of the process because the victories are the men, but then they're going to have children, so there's 90. So just in this week alone, with new fathers coming on board, we're inadvertently being part of helping someone create a legacy for 100 plus people in one week over a generational shift. That's crazy, isn't it? Yeah.

And it's funny, like talking about mentality, A lot of people, those rejections come down to how you position yourself around them. As we know, it's like you go for a job interview, you get rejected, you go for another one, you get rejected. At some point there will be a yes. So you need to position yourself for all those rejections for however you want to. Whether it's spiritual or just wasn't meant to be, whatever it may be, however you can position your own mentality around it, that that's gone, that's been and done. You need to focus on the next thing. If you continually focus on the rejections, that's the energy. Again, we talk about energy. That's the energy you're bringing. Because I'm a loser. I'm a guy that doesn't get the job. I'm a guy that gets rejected by women. I'm a guy that gets rejected by my kids. When I, when I try it, we see a lot of fathers that are having marital issues and they get rejected by their kids. So straight away, my kids hate me. That's a lost cause. No, you have to, you have to build that base. You have to start from somewhere. Just one little gesture and if the kid throws that back in your face because you haven't been there, you accept it. Because this is me on the, on the path. Every time you accept a rejection as I guess an example or a reflection on your, your worth, you're, you're doing yourself a disservice. Because it's, we talk about failure, it's, it's an opportunity to grow. Every failure, every rejection is an opportunity to grow. Why? Why was it a rejection? Was it something I can control? What can I improve? How can I make that part of my process so that a. I don't get rejected next time or B, if I do get rejected, it's not through my own actions. So there's always an opportunity in growth, in failure, any of these negative in air quotes experiences, There is always an opportunity for growth, but you have to position yourself to find that growth. You have to. Again, going back through being uncomfortable, it's got to be hard because nobody wants to sit there and go, well, why didn't I get that job? They're a shit company. Why would I want to work for them anyway? No, no, sit back and go. There may be an element of that, but what could I have done better? How could I present myself? What do I need to do? What do I need to go away and learn to put myself in a better position next time. So as soon as you accept a rejection for what it is as a reflection on you, you've lost an opportunity. And that's the way you have to look at all these, these experiences.

I find a lot of the times that too, mate, that absolutely comes from people who have unjust or uncontrollable expectations and make assumptions. Always. Because I look at that, I'm like, fuck, man. Like you guys. Whether you're running your own business or working, you would do thousands and thousands of reps of the same shit. Just like exercise and training. Thousands and thousands of arm curls or squats or thousands and thousands of steps going for a walk, yet you're not resilient to put in the reps. Why? Because you have an assumption or expectation that this is how your kids should behave, this is what you're entitled to with your wife. Could be Friday night, set everything up nicely, got dinner organized, candles, all that sort of stuff. Are going to have a great night with Corinne and that may lead to a deeper level of intimacy. Roman has an earache or Lillian can't sleep. She's had a little nightmare. Stella's being a pain in the butt. She wants to stay up late with mum and dad. All of a sudden we're tired. You know, the chronic fatigue or the fatigue over a week, it's been residual because the kids haven't. All of a sudden it's like this whole perfect picture of Friday night was going to be, you know, honey and handsome time. Or that's what we coin out our date nights or dates or spending time with our wives. Doesn't have to just be nighttime and something in the bedroom. But all of a sudden it doesn't pan out and I don't get picked from the universe of having that outcome of a Fucking climax or orgasm? Like, really, man, Fucking hell. That's gonna lead to you being grumpy. And I used to be that way. I used to be grumpy and it used to be a power play going, no, I should have it. So what would I do? Well, I'm gonna fucking close up shop for a couple of weeks until, you know, I'm in a position control when Crin's begging for me to have some intimacy with her. Like, man, that's just fucking crazy because it's not even about the deed. Then what? You get one up on your missus because you held out for a few months and then you have sex or vice versa? How about all the in betweens where there's no more ass slapping, kissing, making food together, laughing, jokes, teasing. All the other shit that can be part of daily life and not consistently. There are ups and downs all the time, but you won't have any of that if you continually position yourself around expectations or assumptions with variables you don't control. Instead of me looking back on. Oh, man. Well, fuck, Friday night didn't work out. Oh, what's, you know, the end. It's like how we do our mitts and our tabs, which is our most important things, our targets, actions, and versions for the week. The outcome is something that's rarely completely guaranteed. It will over the long haul, but it's a percentage game. Okay, what are the actions that are going to lead up to that? Like Adam was saying, what can I do on this rejection to take ownership, control, and then build a better level of being a father, being a man, being a husband? That's actually going to lead to more fulfillment and reward for me, from which the odds and the success rate is going to be much higher, where the outcome is a given. And that's just it, isn't it? It's the outcome. It's like when you win an AFL game. It's like, yes, you cheer and you explode for five minutes or five hours if you celebrate after the game. But it's like. But the outcome's a byproduct of all the work that we put in. So it's almost like out of those 40 CrossFit comps that I did, I only won one. And it was the last one I ever did. And the end of 2018, when I got my shit together from 2017 and then built a few different goals, and that was one of them. And I won. And, mate, it had already gone by the time I was standing on the podium. You know, there's a Little bit of cleanup, set up the podium, all that sort of stuff. And by the time they called me up, I was just looking for my family and I was looking at my competitors around me. I said, thank you, man. Like, I couldn't be one if you weren't here to be number two and three. Right. And vice versa. Plenty of times when I've fallen short.

Well, it's like an interesting analogy and I just popped in my head. If someone offered you the opportunity to win an AFL grand final or Rugby League Grand Final, but you only had to play one game and you didn't have a season, you just turned up and played the game and you won or lost, would you take it? Of course you wouldn't. What the would it mean? You know, the. And, and there's the old saying, and it's a cliche, but the journey, you know, is the destination and all this sort of stuff and, and however you want to look at it. But if you don't put in the reps and don't put in the, the blood, the sweat, the tears and have the setbacks and, and have everything that becomes part of that experience, it absolutely, it means nothing. And that's, that's the thing. We are, again, tying into expectations. You go into having, having all these expectations, but if you're not willing to put in the work and the reps and actually be uncomfortable and go through a bit of pain and, and all these things, it literally means nothing. You know, if somebody, somebody came to you when you're 50 years old and said, oh, you've actually, you've got a son that you've never met and he's 18, you can't ever have that experience of raising a child. So, yes, you might have a child there, but unless you go through that experience, and I say to my wife, we've got very challenging children, you know, ADHD and autism. And at times it's tough. You're going through lockdown. We, you know, we're on top of each other and it's a really tough period. But I always remind myself when my young bloke wakes up at 4 o' clock in the morning, every morning he's in our bed. I remind myself that at some point he won't want anything to do with us because he'll be a teenager and he won't be popping into our bed, you know, and I'll miss that. Yes, it's tough right now. It's hard, like. And my wife struggles with more than I do because she does most of the Parenting because I'm working. And that's not to say I'm an absent parent, but she does the bulk and that's the reality of our dynamic. But it's really hard and that's okay because at some point the wheel will turn and you'll look back and go, it's like guys that play footy as well. Yeah. At the time you go, we're getting beaten. This is happening, this is shit, blah, blah, blah. But when you look back and you're not playing anymore, everyone tells you you're a long time retired. You look back on that and go, fuck, I wish I could have one more day doing that. And I guarantee my kids are young, but I guarantee when they're 18, I'm going to be there at their 18th, there at their wedding, and I'm going to be bawling my eyes out thinking about all those times. Even though I've got a great relationship with my kids, there will always be something. I'll miss it. I'll miss having them, picking them up, giving them cuddles and. And it's actually a saying that really makes me sad thinking about is in everyone's life, there will be the last time you ever pick up your child at some point.

Yeah.

And it is, it is confronting. And even now I'm getting goosebumps in quite emotional thinking about it because it's true. And that might be, you know, for parents that tragically lose their kids young, for people that, you know, you hear 80 year olds that still have their kids at. And their kids are 60, but at some point they'll either be too big, they'll be too old, they won't want to know you. But at some point, every parent's life will be the last time you ever pick up your child. And for me, that's, that's scary. But it's also empowering because you know that you can control the relationship you have with your children.

You can draw it back into the now and appreciate, appreciate the challenge, appreciate the adversity. And it's all perspective, isn't it, man? Like, that's a pretty powerful and confronting approach and way to look at it, you can't know night without day. I've said this so many times, like, how would you know what the fuck nighttime is if the sunlight doesn't come out and shine? And what I just want to bring to attention is what Adam's saying there is. You can't value something if it isn't earned. You see that all the time, right? Yeah. You buy Your kid a shit box and. Or they earn it through doing chores, work around the house. There's something where there's, there's blood and sweat and there's a transaction. Life is transactions. Or you can go buy, buy your son a sixty thousand dollar car. He just goes and writes it off because he doesn't really care or value it. You can't value something if it's not earned. And for us as human beings, we are progressive creatures. Like we want to improve. Like that's something that, I think that's something we need to really, I think it's something that's very admirable, mate. Like you, you, all of you listening to this. You should take that in your stride. Not, not to become a fucking zombie that doesn't do anything and just settles and just slumps into the, the couch of sloth type actions and nature that becomes your life. Have a look at it like you've got fucking lions, king of the jungle. Like they are epic. And they'll go out and they'll seek and hunt and they'll kill, get their terrain. And then generally if they've got that and they've got their pride and you know, they don't go collectively linking up with, I mean you've got brothers and there's stories of different lions that are brothers and they've created a claim over a larger territory because they could and because they had the muscle. But most creatures, you look at it, they, they reach an apex in their own life and being in existence and then they maintain, they just hold that. Monkeys, apes, fucking dolphins, killer whales. And it's not that they're not enough. Like there's some phenomenal creatures I've just rattled off then, but ultimately that's something that we have through our consciousness, awareness and our abilities and opportunities as human beings to evolve and to know that that is a natural part of your life and that should be a natural part of your mentality. It's not that you're not enough, but you must have something that brings a level of achievement which can't come without putting in the work. And that sense of worth, it can't come without the adversities, the hiccups, the roadblocks, the pitfalls. Man, I feel like I'm finally home. After, you know, 15 years of elite sport, body torn to shit, running gyms that were failing, all that sort of shit, I finally feel like I've hit my groove. And if that means that it's been a 15 to 16 year investment to all of a sudden Move through a few more years of hard work to all of a sudden it's 20, 25. And it's like, okay, you know, Al became a, you know, Alan, RDM or HPF. Everything combined in what we do became an overnight success after 20 years. It's worth it because. Yeah, I know, but it's become that success. 20 years, that's. That's what people quickly forget. You know, it's. It's crazy. But that's the mentality, you guys. You need to have. I'm not going to force it on you and say, you're not a man if you don't, or judge you or blame you for anything, but you fucking need it. I need it. We all do.

And that's right. I think. And if you, if you choose not to do that, you have to understand that that's the choice. That's one of the doors. I'm content where I am right now. Okay. But you have to understand, in a year's time, in two years time, in five years time, something blindside you and you had the opportunity to grow and you didn't take it. You have to understand that that was your choice. There's no one else to blame, and I hate blame games. There's no one else to blame because you had the opportunity. It's like people going to uni and they go, in their 50s, they go, what are you going to uni for? You know, in five years time, you'll be 55. Yeah, but in five years time, I could be 55 with a uni degree or I could be five years without one. You know, so there's always opportunities there, but if you don't take them, you have to be okay. You have to be okay. That. That was your decision. Because as soon as you're not, as soon as you start looking around and finding a reason that external to yourself that things haven't gone the way you planned because you sat on your laurels and, you know, you might be successful right now, but in five years time, if you haven't grown, everyone else that's wanting to work will go straight past you. You know, and that's exactly what we're doing with, with our business here. We're looking at, okay, this is good, but how do we get better? Because we know there's. There's competitors that don't do what we do, but they're nipping at our heels because they'll be growing, they'll be learning, they'll be doing everything we're trying to do, but we're just doing it better. And that's not arrogant, but that's, that's what we've got, the belief in what we do. But guaranteed in two years time, if we sat where we were, all the competitors would come straight past us. And that's exactly the same in your life. You know, if you're, if you're taking your wife and your kids for granted and, and they'll keep growing and then all of a sudden they'll look at you and go, we know we don't really connect with you anymore because you haven't grown with them. And it doesn't, it doesn't necessarily mean physical growth or anything like that, but you have to be putting in the reps and that's just showing them they care, showing, turning up for them that, you know, you're spending all your time sitting on your ass watching tv, drinking beers and they're growing, they're learning new sports and you're not with them. You know, they're. Your missus is going to the gym and making all these new friends and all that sort of stuff. And you're not engaging in that all of a sudden. You create, you're creating the disconnect, not them. They're not going out of their way to leave you out of it. That's your decision to not go with them. And that's not for everyone. But again, you have to be okay with that. You have to understand that's your decision, no one else's.

Yeah, it's also that last point you brought up too, mate. Everything is investment. So if you think that your wife or your children can't spot and start to calculate and weigh up like a balancing set of scales what the investment is, then you are a blind fool. Because my wife, no matter how tired she's been running the pump with kids, she has never once questioned me claiming and stating that I need time out for myself and I'm gonna go do something for me. Why? Because I'm not going down the fucking pub. I'm not going and taking drugs. I'm not just going and disappearing or doing shit that's, yeah, unsanitary or malicious to the family. I'm going to do a training session. I'm going for a walk, I'm going down to the beach. I'm doing some journaling or writing. I'm going to listen to some music. I'm taking some time out for my, myself. She can see that the investment is going to yield an ROI for her. And what she gets from her husband it's, it really is that, that simple. But you, you're spot on with everything you just, you just said then, mate. On. Really, really. I think that the entire approach to life, to be fair, not, not just the, the micro, but the big macro picture of not only the, the possibilities, but how you continually turn up and position yourself without blame and finger pointing, how you continually position yourself and turn up so you can have those opportunities and take them. You know, you hear that saying, I can't remember what it is. Something like it's better to have an opportunity, better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one than to have an opportunity and not be prepared. I'm like, fuck, man, that's so true.

Like, that's, that's my twenties.

Yeah.

So many opportunities that, and I was just happy pissing up the wall and doing things that 20 year olds do and that. But my, my, you know, 21, 22 year old lasted until I was 30, so. And that was, that was the risk and it wasn't until I actually again became that circuit breaker and when something has to change. And yeah, now the opportunities present themselves because you create the opportunities because you're in a mindset and. Well, I mean there's, there's probably a two schools of thought whether you're creating the opportunity or the opportunity was already there, but you're just in the right mindset. You have the right frame to actually recognize that and take advantage of it.

Yeah, and life is a continuous overhaul as well. Like what we're saying is you don't have to overall overhaul your life tomorrow. A lot of you guys might be like, yeah, you know what though? I love listening to your podcast, man. They're great. They motivate me, they inspire me. Life's pretty good, man. I just, I'd like to get a little bit better here. Or I'd like to get. That's cool. Like, that's awesome. Nothing wrong with that. Same, same with my wife in terms of external ambition and service to the world, she's a phenomenal primary teacher. Mind you, I'm not taking anything away from her, but in terms of reach and I guess that sort of stuff, where she's really enjoying and moving through a period of her life where she's the mother of the household, looking after the kids more so than I am there. I'm still spending time with the kids and we're still juggling the different balls of life. But she may not grow at the same rate that I grow with what we build in HPF and That's okay. It's not about comparing your growth rate to others, it's to yourself. Because your life will be overhauled. If you're in your 40s listening to this, there will be an overhaul over the small increments of time, the sun rising and setting a few thousand times, where, yeah, you'll be in your 50s now. So when you look back at your 40s and your 50s, well, it is a bit of an overhaul when you look at the macro picture, but the micro, yeah, it's just getting those little bits one day at a time where you know what? Instead of zigging, I zagged. Instead of listening to the little voice inside, I stood up and said no. Well, I don't know where this has come from. It's been planted inside of my head by, you know, the old version of me that failed at this. But I can do this and do that and, and I guess as we wrap this up mate, we've moved through a lot of the processes of mentality and how that can play such a role in all the different pegs that you can pin on what can become not a mask, but the face that you wear and act upon and express that can lead to opportunities and outcomes. Speaking of opportunities and outcomes, what have you seen as we wrap this up, having the mentality we've just described and spoken about of being a leader in your own right, controlling what you control. What have you seen as in terms of the fathers on the inside and how much their life changes and the results they get and relationships and so on?

Well, it's crazy. Again, it's a lot of it ties in that self belief and identity because they're actually starting to recognize possibilities. You know, we've got at least a dozen guys in there that have started their own businesses. You know, they were working for other people and quite successful and that was fine, but they knew that it just wasn't what they wanted long term. But they finally developed the self belief over the reps. And this wasn't even necessarily a business sense, but in all areas of their life they built the reps up. So they took the plunge. They took that big leap to say, well, I've done all this work and I know where I'm at now, I know who I am, why can't I do it? And even myself, you know, when, when I first joined in in January 2020 and I came out of the blocks really hard, had a little bit of a dip, you know. But over time I got the reps up to have self Belief and I had a great job, I worked with my brother, I was earning good money and. But I saw an opportunity to come onto RDM and actually be part of it, you know, and some of the guys on the inside know, but I took a pretty substantial pay cut, you know, pretty much 50% of my wage and bought into, you know, into the part of the business. So I actually paid money, I paid myself for 12 months to be part of this because the opportunity was there. I saw the opportunity, I analyzed it and had the belief to know that I could insert myself, add value to the organization and create an outcome. And that would not have happened if I hadn't taken the steps and the processes and created that habit system that I learned through the HPF program in rdm. So in a way, you know, it was that self fulfilling prophecy, I guess, of me coming in as a member and building my way up to now being in this position. And I'm very grateful for it. But that's a pretty unique example. But there's, there's so many guys in, on the inside, just little things like I'm doing a job, but there was an opportunity to go sideways. So it's no more money, but I feel like I might be more fulfilled. So I'm going to go for it. So I'm not going to be comfortable where I'm at. I'm going to go for it. If I get it, great. If I haven't, I'll learn something from it, you know, and we just see so many examples of that and business is a great one. Like it's an easy example because it's very tangible, but little things like just connection and guys just putting in the reps with their families. Like we got a lot of guys with, with marital issues and just seeing that the, the messages come through with guys having date nights with their misses you know, one came through just this week and the caption was, I didn't think this was going to happen. I, I literally didn't think there was going to be a date night with my wife because it was so disconnected. And just that little 1 percenter is a massive shift. And for me that's, that's why we do this. You know, we say that we can't save anyone, you've got to do it yourself. And just through these guys continually turning up and putting in the effort, they're seeing results and meaningful results. You know, this is the difference between divorce, this is the difference between fathers not having relationships with their kids. So it's huge. You know, Putting money aside, the actual. It changes their lives. It's so powerful for us to sit on, you know, on the inside and see these results for fathers.

Yeah, well put, man. Like you said before, there will come a day when you'll pick your children up or throw them in the air or whatnot, or have a certain unique relationship with them for the last time. You know, I love holding the girl's hands. Stella and Lillian, when we're crossing roads and all that sort of stuff, man. Like, it'll probably happen when she's like 6 or 7. That's probably just around the corner where she may not want to hold my hand anymore. That sort of stuff that's critical to helping you understand how temporary life is and it's why we do it. Just like Adam was saying, the transformations are incredible for these men. But even viewers personally, you know, and, and taking that step and, and with us together starting dad Strong. That's an epic store, by the way. Like, you guys should jump on there. We've got a shitload of different, you know, services and products available for you. You know, our nighttime tea is a massive hit. We've got skincare cream, which is epic, but not, not to make it a plug. But man, that what, what we're building on the side with, with RDM and HPF in our dad Strong store is going to be a phenomenal ecosystem where we're going to be continually serving fathers with everything they need to help them reinforce their habits, build up their belief system and really have exactly what you shared then. Which sounds crazy, right? But you get it. Like when we've got guys who are emailing me, who aren't even members, saying, fuck Al, thank you for Knight Rider, man. Like, that's just because I'm getting a good night's sleep now. I'm actually looking after myself better. I've started walking, I'm communicating with the family better because I'm not waking up grumpy. And I'm like, again, this isn't a plug for night, right? I just created it for our members. But through supply and demand, we've had to create way more because we've had thousands of fathers, you know, purchase our products now. But that's why me and Adam were like, well, let's do a nighttime tea. That'd be fucking an awesome routine to build in with the Mrs. Where you can just have a bit of a come down, a bit of relaxing time that puts you to bed nicely as well because of the ingredients. Instead of just sinking some piss and just Drowning your sorrows and then, you know, collapsing and passing out. So the fact that we had together and you had that vision to build this dad strong store is a credit to courage, man. Courage and balls and standing up and going, you know what? I will take that step because you guys, we may be. What do they call it? The guys who carry the packs up the mountains. And is it a Shepa? Sherpa. Yeah, we might be your Sherpa. We may move some rocks with you. You still got to lift your legs, man. You still got to take the steps and. Or you need to walk through. Through that door. So we could. We can help you see the possibilities. But that courage is a powerful thing, man. And that's something I want all of you guys, even if I never even meet you, I want you to understand that it's not something you're born with. You all have that courage. You can bring that out. You just need to bring it out. You just need to bring it out. Which is why you need to recognize the small actions you can take, which can lead to lots of wins. And then before the weeks pass, you rack them up, acknowledge them, write them down. Fuck, al. I had 53 wins this week. Setting my alarm, getting up, going for walks, away. I spoke to my children, what I did at work, the way I transitioned from work to home, the way that I handled the household, the way that I cleaned up and contributed. You can rack up dozens and dozens and dozens of wins a week very easily, and you should recognize those. But that all comes down to your mentality and making sure that you are taking time out for yourself so you can have a mental release and not just damaging yourself through drugs, alcohol, technology, television. To have a mental escape, there is a difference. But made. Awesome episode. Really enjoyed it. Ads, anything else that you wanted to add as we wrap this up, man?

No, I think we've covered it as usual. We've gone off on a few tangents, and I apologize if I haven't brought as much fire as Ken normally would on a Tuesday. But yeah, shout out to Ken and. And I guess, yeah, I mean, the last point is, it's like we said, that mentality is. It's finding what works for you. And this is. We've given you some ideas, things to think about, but everyone's different. And anytime you go looking for a cookie cutter approach, you will probably fail because it's not catered for you. And that's one thing that I'm really passionate about is. Is the individual. It's making sure that whatever that process, whatever that system is, whatever the outcome is, it's got to be for you. And really tying everything into what is going to work for you, what you want and what you're prepared to do. And really think about what that is, because that's one of the big things. People start on the journey, but they go on someone else's journey. So really, really focus on anything you do. Whatever it may be, all these things that, that we've talked about today is with mentality, that's all relevant, but it has to be for you. It's always going to come back to you guys.

Yeah, great point, man. Couldn't agree more. The patterns are very similar. A lot of you men listening to this, the patterns are similar, but in terms of mentality, you all have your unique approach and ability, and that's something where that's okay. If you're not on the inside with us, you just need to be a little bit more aware. What did you get from this podcast episode? Where are the golden nuggets? Where are the personal points you can take away? Do you have a pen and paper? Do you write down a few notes? Go through some of our other podcasts, go through some of our coaching videos, join our HPF community in our Facebook group? Like, go through. And you've got to be more proactive because you don't have coaches in your corner. But that's okay. You know, I'm not here to sell or push you, but take that. Make sure you take ownership over that and take those little gold nuggets and find those personal approaches from the value and what we can offer so you can apply it to your life right away. Because action trumps everything. Like, that's key, man. Not just listening and feeling good. Feed your emotions with the facts that you'll create through the actions that you'll drive home, not the other way around. Take care, men. Hope you enjoy this and have an amazing day, night, weekday weekend and keep turning up and consistently keep that hunger for growth because you will come through the other side, I guarantee you that. Cheers, ads.

Thanks, guys.

1,000 minutes a day, it's a lot. But when you're wasted on shit that doesn't serve you or move yourself or your family forward, you are bleeding the most valuable resource that you and I never get back. How much time do you think you have and how much quality do you think you've had? Don't be a fool like the masses, thinking you'll cheat the system or get round to it one day or worse. Just accepting life and sinking back into a slumber of regret. This is your moment, your time. You're cut from a different cloth. You have the hunger and desire to be more and live more. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. So stand up. Find the golden nuggets. In this episode, you just listened to and align immediate action with them and where you want to go. You are worthy. This is your life. You are the king. And this is your kingdom. Now go and claim it by showing, not telling, and be the real leader. You and I both know you were born to be.