143. The Chameleon King

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement podcast. The point and purpose of these episodes, as always, is to have a point and purpose towards helping you win the second half in life by building a path of becoming the best father, husband, man and member of your community that you can be. We do this with various ways of connecting. Life is connection. And as you hear these words spoken time, time and time again, know that the driving force of connection in life is energy. Which means that how you turn up as a father, as a husband, as a valued member of society will always start and end with how you turn up as a man within yourself first. This is why it's my mission, my purpose, our mission, our purpose through Real Dad Movement to inspire, motivate, educate and guide you into thoughts, feelings, actions and a change in your belief systems to rise up, cut the shit from your life and live and leave a real legacy. When dads win, everyone wins. And when you win, I win. Let's get moving forward, mate, right here, right now. Becoming the Chameleon King, as cool as the title sounds by rattling it off with a C and a K, but kk Chameleon King, this episode is really about. Look, let's just be clear here. This is not about the term two faced facade, masks. It's about really understanding. Because none of this that we ever push, the message that we push never carries the scent of deceit, you know, manipulation, lies. I mean, man, if you've been following us long enough, now you know, that's pretty clear. And we all know that the truth always wins. The question is, what kind of truth are you living through? An integral life of standing up and being the right leader for yourself first, and then first and foremost through yourself within those that you love and care about. So when I'm talking about Chameleon, we are talking about characters. Yes. We are talking about different roles. Yes, we are talking about different hats. Yes. But what, what this is is not just a term of, yes, I wear the hat of being a. I wear the hat of being a husband. I wear the hat of being a man, a business owner, a leader, a son, a cousin, a brother, a member of society. It's not about just saying that, it's who do you become? Who do you turn into, Chameleon? Who do you actually turn into in those roles? Because any bloke can just put his fucking hat on and say, yeah, I'm a dad. Well, hang on, who are you? What kind of dad are you? What kind of father are you? How do you carry yourself? And that's Why I wanted to dive into this episode just to give you a different perspective around understand that these are different roles. You need to change. You need to change and excuse me knowing that in that change comes opportunity, comes awareness, comes the betterment of yourself and those that you are experiencing life with. And that's critical, man, that's important because the chaos of life and trying to navigate through the storm and the choppy seas that life becomes for many of us on the daily is something that is really critical to your long term success. You can't have that if you're just the same fucking bloke in every single role that you play. Now look, I get fiery, I get passionate, you know, I get driven, I get very direct. I have a lot of intent when it looks at, when I'm looking at things like serving you guys and serving the tribe and being a stand up leader and making sure that we don't fuck around. Look, I'm, I laugh every single day. And we do Jed, we do dad joke Fridays and they're cool. It's pretty funny. The boys have some pearlers. It's a crack up, it's awesome. But I'm not here to be your mate. I'm not here just to, you know, go pissing in the wind, jovial, laughing, cracking jokes and just having a fun old time. I enjoy my time. I enjoy what I do with the men on the inside and the tribe and I enjoy doing this and delivering value and service to fathers all over the country. Not far off, 50,000 downloads, which is pretty cool. But ultimately we're really looking at the right energy, the right intent and the chameleon skill set must come true with this. It doesn't mean that I'm false. I choose exactly who I want to be and I express that consistently in being Alex Ranieri, the owner and founder of Real Dad Movement, High performance, father and dad strong and a few other things that we have. But really that is one of the many hats that I wear. Yes, but this is the man that I step into and become. Like, no disrespect, but I'm not going to be sitting around here painting fucking fingernails with you like I do with my daughters and having you do my hair and put makeup on my eyes which burns. I don't know what's going on with that. By the way too, we got some makeup, makeup kits for the kids. Some funny Elsa and Anna frozen sat down the other day. They're putting makeup on me. I'm like, fuck man, my eyelids are burning. How is this Even legal. What are the kids doing? How could the kids handle this? This is killing. My eyeballs are on fire. What is going on here? That's a different approach. I'm not going to be like that with you. Right. Even though I just sort of took the piss a little bit and had a lighthearted moment. It's the truth. I don't swear in front of my grandmother or my parents. And I've just. It's just something that's just a part of me. I'm like, do I need to say those words in front of my mother? Well, I don't really, because most of the topics and things that I talk about with my mother don't really relate to bringing up, you know, the F word or the C word or any of those profanities. It just doesn't. The setting doesn't really hold to be true. Right. Same with the kids. Yeah. When I'm doing our Sunday charge up coaching sessions and I'm helping the boys align for the week, what do we need to do, what we need to focus on? It's a fiery session. It's very powerful. It's one that's driven with a lot of intent to go, hey, time to fucking stand up. Let's do what we said we would do. What are our tabs? What are your targets? What are your actions? What are your versions? Okay, in that, what's your mitt? What is your most important thing? And there's a shift, there's an adjustment. You must be that, too. The whole how you do one thing is how to do everything, it's bullshit. It doesn't apply. I'm incredibly lazy in certain areas of my life. I'm very submissive in certain areas of my life. And then on the flip side, man, you will not stop me. My work ethic is fucking tenacious. And when I'm right, and I'm right on something, I'm right. And I make the call, I take the shot, I take responsibility, and I make that call to go, no, this is what the family's doing. This is what we're doing. This is what I need to do. This is what we are moving forward with. And because of the relationship that we've built in the different hats that I wear as a father and as a husband and a man of the household, the respect's there, the value is there. It's understood. Just like there's times when I'm submissive with my wife. So you need to know. Yes. The roles that you're playing. I'm a Father, You're a father. You could still be a son if your parents are still around. A mate to someone. Sure. You know, even if you have one mate, three mates, 30, like we said, a brother to someone. Other brothers or you know, to your sisters, a boss, leader, business owner, like you have, you have these different hats that you wear, these different roles and responsibilities. But the skill set here is really understanding that you need to dive into each one accordingly and building that awareness. And there's a little process that I just want to run through. Call it the three P's, call it whatever you want, but just a couple of key things. I mean, obviously it tightens this up and brings it in well. But this is a practice, a tactic or a strategy, you know, and actually it's the four P's. There we go. We've just created another one. The four P's to becoming the Chameleon King. Some of the, some of you listeners, I love when I get some of you guys flicking me emails or posting pictures of some of our principles and they're written up on you on your fridge and whatnot. That's just so cool, man. Like, this is what we need. It is remembrance. It's a reminder. Because more often than not we have an understanding, we have a feel for what the answer should be. We just don't have some of that clear structure, that direction to go. Here. Here it is, mate. And I guess I love that that is received well on the way that I articulate things. Thank you. That's awesome. That's why I'm here, to try and find the best way to connect to you. A middle aged man who's looking to find his way in the world and really have a higher level of fulfillment and meaning in the second half. Because let's face it, the first half of life, a pretty big fucking grind. To be fair. We don't want to do that again. That's not about laziness, it's about just being smart, working harder and smarter. So let's call it the four P's of the Chameleon King. Posture, presence, persuasion and practice. Because that is true. Even though I said the word practice. It's an art form. You must practice all the time. This is what life is about. It runs on the board. And building, building some precision in your game, getting better at things, making sure you're progressing by having precision and purpose together. You know why you're doing things. But this is something that's so important, yet it gets lost so easily because you can't switch off you get home from work. So you're in. You're in work mode. You're the Viking with the big fucking chest hanging out. And do your kids need that? Like, they're. They're little souls, man. Little spirits running around trying to find their way in the world and navigate through, experimenting, search and discovering, regardless of whether they're 3 or 13. You can't just turn up and have the same hat and the same character, the same color. If we're talking chameleon. Every single role of your life, every single part of your life, you can't. It doesn't work that way. You will burn out, you will fall down, you'll fall apart. Which takes me to the first one. Posture. How are you turning up as a father? What does that look like? Literally, your posture, how you carry yourself physically. So we're talking about body language. Presence is a little bit different. That's the second p. But posture, how do you carry your. Your energy? How do you actually carry your being in and around your children, whether they're 10, 20, 11, 3? What does that look like for you? What is. And you know what? Sometimes the gift here is knowing that, A, there is a difference, and B, recognizing the differences. And then C, of course, knowing where that will apply or how that will apply to a better level of connection in life is what life is. What's your posture like as a father? How are you carrying yourself, your physical energy and your body language in the household, at the park, at events, anywhere in and around the role of being a father? What's your posture like as a brother, as a son, as a relative? How do you carry yourself as a husband? How are you carrying yourself? Look, I've got no disrespect when you say the terms like my wife, she's my best mate. And I see, but we know the difference between mate and mate. Yes, she may be your best friend and your mate for life, but I'll tell you right now, I don't talk to treat my wife or have even the same posture around her that I do with me mates. That's just fucking ridiculous. It doesn't make any sense to me. You know, and you are not just friends living under the same household. There's a deeper connection. There's a level of intimacy which is not just something that is set in stone in the bedroom. Like intimacy is having that deeper level of connection can be words, can be touch, can be lots of things. So what's your posture like as a boss, as a leader of your business, of your Work. How are you carrying yourself? This may sound funny, but this is so important. You may not think about this. So important. Like this goes all the way back to crustaceans and lobsters which have been around for fuckload longer than us apparently. And you know Jordan Peterson, he's a pretty, he's an awesome, you know, he's just a gun. A clinical psychologist. Got a couple of books out and just his, his whole approach and view on life is fascinating and I really align with a lot of his, a lot of his stuff. But in his book he shares the story of the lobster and literally your, your posture as a lobster determines your status in society, your confidence. This is lobsters right fucking. Oh man. Your confidence. When you are about to engage in battle with another lobster, get the prime spot on the rock, which means the chicks love that lobster because he's got literally a better posture, a physical presentation. It's crazy man. Like look at this shit down to lobsters. And they can actually tie that in. And I'm giving it a very broad general approach, it's an entire chapter. But they tie that in to humans and society as well. And I'm not talking about the hunched over, you know, the hunchback old 80 year old ladies that think they, they get shorter in life. Their head position literally shrinks and they get that back bulk to compensate from not falling on their face because they got shit posture. Now it doesn't mean I walk around like a stiff, but this is important, man. Everything's energy. Your kids can read that, they can feel that. If you're slumping around like a fucking defeated man, how do you think that's going to carry through to them? One, that becomes a standard. Two, that becomes a level of example or an acceptance of this is what that role entails. And three, that sets the baseline through the standard and what's accepted of who your daughter will date and what they'll see. All the extremes, right? They go the other way. Or your son. Ah, this is what, this is what it means to be a man. I can't tell you enough. When I was doing a lot of work and as a teenager early on in construction sites and just. This isn't just about tradies. I'm not. Nothing to trade. He's just doing construction. I was doing other bits and pieces. I did some office work as well, you know, work experience, all that sort of stuff. I couldn't believe some of the chit chat of the men I was around. You would have thought these guys hated their wives. I couldn't believe it. Like, I could not believe it. Being around that environment and their entire approach, their entire posture, to be fair, around that topic of that hat they were wearing, even though they're a worker on site or in the office, was one that was incredibly defeating. And it was. Was not good. Not good. And I was going, shit. Is this. Is this what the standard is? Is this what I've got to look forward to in married life? Honestly, it seems crazy. It feels like a lifetime ago now, but I look back, I was like, man, I did not have a great outcome. And ever since I was young, I wanted to be a dad. I just wanted to be a dad. I wanted to be a man in his 30s and 40s. I don't know why. Ever since I was young, I just. I'm like, that's me, man. That's exactly where I want to be. Not that I wish my life away, but my point is the example being set in the environment around me was piss poor. So we've got to be careful how we're literally physically carrying ourselves through the household to our children, as well as to our wives, as well as to those that we serve, our clients, customers, members, our team, our employees. It's critical. Next one's presence. Okay, well, what does that look like for you? Like, my presence with the kids when we're playing and doing Lego and building things and doing, you know, makeup and playing with dolls and Barbies, because I got two girls and a boy. Little man's not quite there, but he's starting to get the little monster trucks out and, and little dump trucks and whatnot, which is cool. That's completely different to the presence, which is your communication, how you're listening, how you're speaking. And so not even just what you're saying, but how you're speaking, which does tie into persuasion. It's the third p. Completely different. My presence with my children is different to my presence with you right now, even though I'm in my office speaking to myself. It's different to our team meetings. It's different to the coaching sessions. And it's not that I slap myself in the head like Tommy Radonicus and pump myself up before my coaching sessions. Not at all. It's a. It's a switch. That's a skill set, man. Being able to flick that. Flick that switch. Like, I'll move mountains for you and I'll believe for you. As soon as you come in and threaten myself or my family or come in into my space. And there's a level of energy that is fear driven, disingenuous. And it's not having anyone's best interest at heart, especially me and my children. Heart mate. That switch flicks. We all have that, we all have that ability, but it's tapping into that on a regular level. What's your presence look like? Posture and presence. So how do you carry yourself and how are you in the moment at work? How are you in the moment when it comes to talking to your wife? What's your presence like with your wife when you're talking? Touchy feely or not? Like, do you even have any or have you got your fucking phone while you're talking mid sentence and she's got her phone and you just, you know, working through a 30 second conversation over 10 minutes because of the pauses of the distraction. You're not even there. Are you doing that with your children, man? I leave my, I leave my phone in the car now. It's awesome. Like, it's such a great roadblock. It's like, I gotta get out the car. And it's, it was hard, it's been hard this week. I started to bring it in full tilt this week. Been hard because there is a bit of downtime with the kids and one will run off and one will go to the toilet and you're like, I could just grab my phone, have a quick check. I was like, I'm just going to sit here and wait for him because I've got to get my keys, I got to open the door, I've got to go to the car, unlock it, open up that door, pull it out of the glove box, turn it on and then come back into like, you know, it's awesome. It's great. Good little tip there. I'd absolutely recommend you do that. Posture and presence, this is critical, man. This is transition. How are you transitioning from work to home? From the car through the door. Are you sitting in the car before you go and walk through a door and go, I'm so fucking lucky that I've got some humans to come home to because a lot don't and it's hard. And a lot don't even have a home that they love. It's just a house. I'm so blessed, man. And you know what? I've lived another day not survived. I've lived, I've experienced, I've created, I've expressed life and I'm here. That's a very powerful thing, man. Don't, don't you ever discredit the simple things in life and carrying that posture and presence through to your family, your children, through to your wife. Don't forget, this applies to you as well. Are you fucking slumped over looking in the mirror going, I hate myself. All right, cool, great. You found out who you no longer want to be. What are you going to do about it? What's next? Do the same thing in the mirror tomorrow? Come on, mate. None of us have time to waste. None of us have time to muck around, build those runs on the board by being the chameleon king, by understanding that you know what you are different versions, you are different identities. You are different people inside of the people that need you most, which collectively brings together your entire being and experience of who you are. Me, right here and now. There's no way I would be here if I hadn't worked with and served thousands of fathers. I wouldn't be the version I am. I wouldn't have the intrinsic knowledge I have. I wouldn't be able to rattle off and just roll through things autonomously because it's just flowing through the subconscious. Because I'm living and breathing in every single day. The ads you see, they're one take. Like when you see my Facebook ads and even these podcasts, these podcasts are unedited. Like, I do not edit them when I bring guests on. Yeah, I edit the start and finish because we're just talking shit. Catching up. How you been, mate? What's been going on? Like, okay, well, you know, I'm just saying let's just start at the start of the podcast, but with this always, always one take. So posture and presence important. Are you in the now and what does that look like? How are you turning up for your children? How are you turning up for your wife? Who's that man? How are you turning up for yourself? How are you turning up for your workers, colleague, society, persuasion? This starts to bring in communication. Like when I'm, when I'm looking at persuasion and look, the definition in the dictionary is somewhere along the lines of the action or process of persuading someone or being swayed to do or believe something. Again, the fundamental from this, the foundation is always a place of love and leadership. So if I'm persuading my children, what I'm talking about here is not sales, negotiation, trade offs, talking, influencing. It's all of them. Life is persuasion, man. Like, I'm persuading you, which means I'm influencing you. I'm trying to sell you on the better version you can become. Like, I'm literally selling you on, selling yourself. That's what I'm doing right now, I am selling you to say, hey, you need to sell the old version and sell him on cutting himself away and upgrading to the new version of you. That's what it's about. Like Al right now is currently selling the little voice inside Al to say, fuck off. I'm selling you this, take this and this is what we're going to do now. This is what we're buying into together. And of course with me it's yeah, you have no choice. So that the big Al is selling little Al on a non negotiable, he must upgrade. This is what life is. I can't stand waste and life is, life is growth. That's the addiction that I have and it's all of those persuasion. I'm persuading you to see the possibilities in your life. I'm trying to influence, persuade, sell, help you trade, make trades on yourself with your time and energy to go, this is who I need to be. This is how I need to turn up. So persuasion is a very powerful thing because you're in a position of leadership. Don't forget that, mate. Don't cut yourself short. You are a leader. The question is, what type of leader are you? You are in a position of leadership, which means you must persuade your children don't know. They might not know what you know and they may in certain areas if they're a bit older, through education, school and other different pieces of life. I don't know what it's like to be a teenage girl, so my daughters are going to know more about that than me. Of course they will. But I'll know how to be a father to teenage girls before they will, that's for sure. So when we're talking about posture and presence, how you turning up and literally physically carrying yourself through to be in the now and the energy that you express from your being, from your body, that's a powerful thing. That's as powerful as oxygen, man. Don't forget that your body language speaks volumes. That doesn't mean you need to stand proud with your chest out all the time. It's another layer. These are just layers of awareness, persuasion. So posture, presence and persuasion. I carry myself, hold myself and communicate much differently to my grandmother than I do to my father, than I do to my wife, than I do to my children, than I do to my dogs, my pets, than I do to our members, than I do to my team. And there is crossover, of course. Like I'm a very genuine and transparent man. You can see pretty Quickly what's going on. Which is good because I'd like us both to know, right? Because then we need, then we can cut the bullshit and we know exactly where everyone stands. So I'm very transparent, you know, I'm not someone who feels like he has to. Not that it's a bad thing, but I don't feel like I have to, you know, flash expensive washes or dress in a suit to deliver a coaching session to my team. A vulnerable, transparent, it's great vulnerability and transparency, it's a sign of strength. It draws respect. And that's not a hidden agenda. It's just me being me. Because guys like, fuck, man. Al's true, Alex is true. That's what I want, you know, apart from a lot of other different bits of feedback. Good, bad, and the ugly, generally the ugliest from people who don't even know me. But that's okay. I don't take it personally. That's their own troubles and traumas. And you know, I'm actually glad that our Facebook ad can be an outlet for some of those guys because if they didn't abuse me, they might abuse someone else, like their wife or their children. So I don't mind that. That's okay. I don't take it personally. And if that's the outlet for them to be a victim and point at me and blame me, man, that's all right. I'll accept that. It's okay. Alex is true. So how I handle my team, how I handle our members, our clients, on the inside, it's very fucking transparent. And we joke, we have laughs. I jump in some of our Zoom coaching sessions where we're doing training together, get a sweat up. I'm holding little Roman while I'm doing squats like I'm a fucking human just like you, man. I never want someone to put me on the pedestal, but the respect I get because people look at me going, man, look at the action Al's taking. Look at the life he's living and leading. Look at him practicing what he's preaching. That's the difference. That, that's, that's what leads to persuasion. So when I'm saying this, I'm not talking about the intricacies of saying the right words, the right sentences, the one liners that are going to get you in the sack with the Mrs. More. It's not about that. It's how you carrying your posture, presence and actions and communicating that through to them to develop connection. It must be different with your wife. It's going to Be different with your workers or colleagues. It's going to be different with your children. You must be the chameleon king. You need to build a level of awareness to go, huh? When I act like this, I'm a little bit more like one of the boys. And I've actually found that my wife doesn't really like that. Instead of just going, being lazy, going, ah, she'll be right, that's just me. Well, no, it's not. You are whoever you choose to be and then you back that up, you make that reality. That's, that's pretty, pretty simple. Identity is an easy thing. This is who I choose to be. Now I'm going to make it real in the world and then this is my absolute identity because I'm consistently this person. It's very easy, you know, I mean, you can see that going on in the world right now. I can just say I identify as a woman. There you go. I identify as a woman. I'm going to go to the olympics and snatch 200 kilos and beat the record by fucking 100 kilos. All taking. Well, it's not really taking the piss because that actually happened. But all of that aside, yes, your identity is purely a selection and choice you make internally, but then you must reinforce it because there's two realities, your internal and your external reality. So as we look at persuasion, it's the process of belief. I'm building belief in others, of belief of myself. This is who I am. Like my children, they will see my videos and they'll see over the years who, who dad was, not who al was. They'll see who dad was to other dads and they may be proud of that because that's who he was to other dads. He was this to me, but he was that to them. He was this to mum, he was this to the stranger. Because this is what we used to see when he'd help someone put their groceries in their car at the shops or, you know, whatever it may be. This is important, man. Persuasion starts with yourself and shifting your belief system of how you turn up. What's the posture, presence and persuasion and communication you have with yourself. Okay, now how can you take the golden nuggets that you know with the awareness you have, this is modern day intelligence, self awareness, social awareness, to read and feel the play on your children, their posture, their presence, what are they trying to persuade, negotiate, sell, argue, influence you on. And then you can take that awareness because you've developed it inside of yourself first and apply that skill set to Them to give them what they need and help nurture them through some schoolyard bullying, through some challenges, through adversity, through breaking their leg, through not winning that event at sport. Same with your wife. What's the persuasion and belief system of this is the husband? I am, you know, I can't say enough. And it's pretty just on a side note. And again, I just. I just like to share. I'm not saying sign up and join a HPF program, but when guys take that step, it's crazy. When they take that step, a lot of the battle straight away starts to dissolve. Because when they go to their wives and make that declaration, this is what I'm doing now, and this is why I'm with. They obviously show us, show them all of us, which. Which is great. The more someone knows about us, the better. And they show that to their wives. They start to persuade them and influence them because their wives believe again, because they're like, it's not just fucking. It's not just Jim going off doing it on his own again, because I know he'll. Because you've built that pattern and then you're creating. What you're doing is you're creating uncertainty and certainty of who you are because you're adjusting your environment. You're bringing other, bigger players into playing your life. You've got a championship team in your corner. It's fucking awesome. I can't tell you enough how much that actually changes when we're just talking on persuasion here. When they start to bring in an environment they're invested in and show that through to those they care, love and care about, it shifts belief. That's what persuasion is, belief, believing or doing something. So persuading your children to do something together, instead of just watching tv, go on a bush, bush trail, do a little hike. You know, this is critical, man, because the approach is different. I'm not going to try and persuade you. Yes, there's some overlap, but I'm not going to try and persuade you the exact same way that I persuade and communicate with my children. And all of those need practice. Final P that we added in on this episode. There we go. The four P's to becoming the chameleon king. Posture, presence, persuasion and practice. Because it is an art form, like, for me to be able to articulate and draw from a big vocabulary of the same thing. So you'll hear me in one sentence say, amazing, then phenomenal, then excellent, then fantastic, then great. Like it's all the same fucking word, mate. But to have that Vocabulary to continually create a connection and stimulus that is ultimately reinforced with my posture. Even though what we do online, when we have our live events and our physical events, it's there all the time. That presence, being here with you now, that persuasion, you got to practice it. It's a skill set. More than 90% of life is skill sets. I don't even know. Could you put, could you put a stat on it maybe? I mean, fuck, have a look at everything you've done. Great. Was it really a natural gift? Like, oh, I'm just good at this, Al, and I'm not good at that. But were you, like, did you subconsciously, through school, through your trade, focus on things that you're drawn more towards? I mean, look, yes, genetics comes into play with certain things. Like natural bodybuilders, we know that the guys at the top are all juice junkies, but natural bodybuilder, I get that there's an element of genetics, but in terms of overall life fulfillment as a father, a husband, business owner or worker in society, a leader and member of community, like man, 99% of that skill sets and 99% of that is relationships. You know, I wouldn't say that I'm a relationship coach. I don't really want to dive into that sort of stuff, at least not right now. But what we do is we establish relationships in a unique way that's driven for the man inside of his relationship with himself first and then those that he loves and care about. The chameleon. You are a chameleon king. You are developing a phenomenal relationship with your children because of who you turn up. As for your children, you develop a phenomenal relationship with your wife because of who you turn up as a husband in society because you develop a phenomenal relationship with yourself. So whilst the fitness element of our program is fucking amazing and it blows away any program for fathers for dead, just that one point alone, yes, we absolutely help you with mastering your habits through time, energy. Two things you never get back. We dominate that. We are the fucking best in the world at that. But it all comes with the core underlying principle of relationships. And even this episode as we wrap up the Chameleon King, being the chameleon king comes down to modern day intelligence and relationships. Self, awareness, social awareness, connection. As we wrap this up, I just want you to have a think about one key thing. One in and one out. Let's apply this as a practice posture. Presence, persuasion, and then practicing this. What's one thing that you know you can take out with the version of who you turn up. As for your children, what's one thing that you need to stop doing? People write to do lists, right? How many people? How many of you guys have a not to do list? This is what I should not do. Because that's just as important, man. Like, the reason why we get 1000 hours back a year for fathers is not just because of all the habits we bring in, it's because of the shit we cut away, too. It's two sides of the same coin. It's amazing. It's the most effective and efficient way. Just like me. I love growth, but I also fucking hate waste. I cannot stand it. Those two together drive the outcome. Yeah. One of our members, Mick Sherwell, he's a legend. Professional race car driver. What a machine. Actions breed outcomes. Yeah, good point. Good saying, Mick. Well done. Completely agree. What's one thing that you can bring in and one thing that you'll take out with your posture, presence and persuasion. How you connect with your children. What's one thing that you can bring in? What's one thing that you can bring in that you know is going to look after him better as the version of dad? And what's one thing you can take out as a husband or in your relationships? What's one thing you can bring in so you're better with your posture, your presence and your persuasion and practice that. What's one thing you can take out inside of yourself as a man? What's one thing you can bring in? What's one thing you can take out? Clear example. Posture, presence and persuasion. If I'm like this with my children. All right, cool. Presence, phone's in the car that's not there anymore and I'm just focusing solely on them. Posture. I'm going to make sure that I actually really pay attention and face them, not just sit their side on and listening. I'm going to give them all of my sensory perceptions. Well, maybe not all of them, you know, not going to bloody eat them or smell them, but maybe you will. It's a crack up. The girls have started. Daddy, smell my perfume. I'm like, I got perfume for kids. What's going on here? But definitely give them your attention. Think about it. Posture, presence, persuasion. I'm going to give them my attention. Phone goes in the car. I'm going to actually face them so I can see them, I can listen to them, I can touch them. I'm throwing them in the air. I'm playing with them. And persuasion. What is it that I know that my daughter Stella loves most. What does she love? What's she drawn into? What does she want to do? Daddy, can we watch the iPad and look at ABC Kids? She's just fascinated with dress ups and fashion show stuff. How about we do dress ups? We haven't got that out. And then building that in because I've got better posture and presence and awareness of her and what she loves and needs, I can persuade her to move away from something that is a little time treat and reward into something that, you know, we can have some fun with this dress ups. You got your dresses where you can become Elsa and Annie. You got your little plait, fake hair and awesome. Same with my marriage. Posture, presence. You know, I'm going to do an episode on this. But there are. Women are an interesting thing, but there are times when, you know, I'm the viking, the panda and the joker. It's sort of like three roles really. Like, I love taking the piss, but I know the line to walk depending on my wife's energy levels, where she's at and whether she's going to take it personally and seriously or know that I'm just stirring her. Same with making a laugh. I love making a laugh. But I'm like, hang on, game on here. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna have some honey and handsome time. Whether it ends up with the deed done or not, I, I want that. I actually want my wife. I want to be intimate. I want to kiss you and hug you. I don't want to just say jokes and cuddle and ass slap and high five that. Let's do that when we're raising kids. Let's not do that when we're husband and wife. So there are different roles. I'll save that for another episode. And I'm actually starting to write a book which I'm very excited about. Yeah, it's going to be awesome. I'm so excited. It's going to be a. You know what? It's going to be a book that I'm going to hand down to my son Roman and I'm going to give to my son in laws and I say, hey, we talk about there's no rule book. Here it is. Here's the fucking rulebook on life, man. In the modern world as a father, husband and member of society. Here it is in the storm. How to navigate the storm in the modern world and win as a father, husband and man. So that's something that I'm excited about. But with this episode, I really want to hit home that you are different people. You are like I'm a collective of probably tens of thousands of different relationships and people over the years. You are who you choose to be. But know that that chameleon you can become the Chameleon King. That chameleon must adjust and find his colors that suit the environment. That's what they do, right? They adjust their color to suit the environment and the situation. There's a predator. Okay, cool. I better change color. Sometimes I don't. That's okay. But as a father, as a man, as a husband and a leader in society, bring one thing in, take one thing away. Posture, presence, persuasion and practice. What's one thing I can bring into that role of being a father? So I'm standing up better and my energy, my physical presence is better and my attention, my focus and how I communicate is better. With their best interest at heart as well as mine. And we work together and we build a bond, an unbreakable bond with your children, with your wife and with yourself, with yourself. I mean, one key thing for you, bring in, take out one key thing. Posture, presence, persuasion is when you get up every fucking morning, go in the mirror, stand up tall and proud and get one inch off the glass and look yourself in the eye and go. Today's the day. I'm the fucking man. Why? Because I'm going to make it happen. I'm here and I'm now. I hope this episode has served you well and giving you some key pointers. The Chameleon King. We are different people, we are different roles, different identities, different versions. And that's okay. We should be. Otherwise you're just a fucking stiff that treats everything the same and no one wins there, including yourself. Above all else, make sure you take action. Apply this, apply the four Ps and build that modern day intelligence, self awareness, social awareness. What is the right thing for me and those I love and care about and how can I apply that? Through becoming the Chameleon King and knowing what hat to put on, when and how to execute, implement and execute and perform that role as best as I can. 1,000 minutes a day. It's a lot. But when you're wasted on shit that doesn't serve you or move yourself or your family forward, you are bleeding the most valuable resource that you and I never get back. How much time do you think you have and how much quality do you think you've had? Don't be a fool like the masses thinking you'll cheat the system or get round to it one day or worse. Just accepting life and sinking back into a slumber of regret. This is your moment, your time. You're cut from a different cloth. You have the hunger and desire to be more and live more. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. So stand up. Find the golden nuggets. In this episode, you just listened to and align immediate action with them and where you want to go. You are worthy. This is your life. You are the king. And this is your kingdom. Now go and claim it by showing, not telling, and be the real leader. You and I both know you were born to be.