145. HPF - How Old Are You?

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement podcast. The point and purpose of these episodes, as always, is to have a point and purpose towards helping you win the second half in life by building a path of becoming the best father, husband, man and member of your community that you can be. We do this with various ways of connecting. Life is connection. And as you hear these words spoken time and time again, know that the driving force of connection in life is energy. Which means that how you turn up as a father, as a husband, as a valued member of society will always start and end with how you turn up as a man within yourself. First. This is why it's my mission, my purpose, our mission, our purpose through Real Dad Movement, to inspire, motivate, educate and guide you into thoughts, feelings, actions and a change in your belief systems to rise up, cut the shit from your life and live and leave a real legacy. When dads win, everyone wins. And when you win, I win. Let's get moving forward, mate. Right here, right now. Beautiful. We've got Mr. Ken Lavander here again, the birthday boy. What a day, mate. Doing a podcast on your birthday, Ken. Happy birthday, mate.

Thanks, mate. Nothing changes, mate. We all, we all age gracefully. And just because it's your birthday doesn't mean that, you know, the wheels don't stop turning. So no better place to be than spending a bit of time with you talking about how we can improve everyone else's life rather than just yours and mine. Out. Yeah.

Hello, my name's Ken Lavander. My life's fucking amazing. Let me improve yours for you.

Just so we're aware, mate, I just had some birthday cake. Just so I reckon, in that piece of birthday cake, I reckon there was about 2,000 calories in it.

Oh, yes.

Unbelievable.

You're not wrong, though, Ken, Ken, with me taking the piss there, he's definitely not an arrogant, but a very confident man because he does deliver the goods. But speaking of goods, what cake was it, mate? What sort of birthday cake?

Mate, it was a raspberry cheesecake made out of condensed milk. It was just amazing. And, mate, I'll tell you what, hopefully this doesn't bother us, but rain is just absolutely pouring down outside. It's like the gods have opened up and Mother Nature is just like, yeah, I'm just looking out the window and it's just absolutely bucketing down. I think it's about the hail, but.

Anyway, hopefully the sounds are right. But those listening or watching, just pretend it's raining outside when Ken's speaking. And I think you'll be all Right, mate, I love Black Forest is a killer for me, mate. That's my Achilles heel, I reckon. But yeah, I always good to celebrate with a bit of cake this episode, Chrono vs Bio or some sort of name around there where we're talking about chronological age, actually quite fitting with today's episode with Ken and chronological versus biological, establishing a clear difference between the two, which I'm obviously going to be opening up the reins and letting Ken run with it. But it's something that's a fascinating thing I was saying to Ken before we started this and it's not in a disrespectful or judgmental way, but I see some people, friends, you just see people and you see some profile pictures and like, fuck, man, three years has aged them like 30 years. But this is what happens with a lot of fathers when they come on board with us. And it's not that again, not being disrespectful that they look like shit. It's just you can see life has tore them a new ass when it comes to life. Children, work, finances, career, relationships, marriage, looking after themselves. Physical weight, physical energy, mental weight, mental energy. When I say mental, I don't mean the mental weighting of all the different hats wear like it's, I'd say take a big breath. It's exhausting just rattling that off Ken. And it's, it's very interesting. I mean Ken turns 21 today, which is exciting. He'll probably have a birthday. Hopefully I'm birthday party. I'm invited, Ken and the ligand. But sorry, I don't mean to be disrespectful. You would eat most 21 year olds alive, mate. You'd be much fitter than them. So I don't know, I don't know what, what age we'd pick Ken. It's like a Benjamin Button type of thing with yourself here. Tell you what, mate, for someone over over 50, in terms of cycles around the sun, you're fucking in amazing shape, mate.

It's really. Mate, listen, in all honesty, it's about that quality of life that you live. It's about the repetition, it's about the choices in life that we all take and that's kind of really important. And we can have some of the luxuries in life, whether they be from a nutrition like whether it be alcohol or whatever else it is that you can kind of put in part of your life, but the majority of the time that you should be working on is kind of your health, your nutrients, you're de Stressing the body in every which way possibly we can and just trying to work on all these different pillars that we kind of try to master through the physical, chemical and the emotional stuff. And listen, at the end of the day, no matter what pillar we're working on, we always have to work on a bit of everything. It's not just picking one thing at any one time, although you might be having a relationship stress. And then that's where the emotional stuff comes in. And so all the physical stuff that I can give to anyone and deliver and all the nutritional stuff that I can deliver along. From an expert's point of view, if their emotional wellness isn't right, well, then it's a bit of a problem. So we really need to know where the biggest kind of problem areas are within your own personal space and your own personal life. And we need to kind of attack that. So it's not really about balance all the time. It's really about shooting for the main things that you can get the biggest result from and also knowing what's secondary. And third, so that we can pick on the symptoms. But really, in all honesty, is really looking back to kind of what the root cause of these problems are and then coming up with, I suppose, what the cause is and then the solution. And that's kind of how we work things out here at rdm. And it's exciting because we've got so many great coaches and we're all sharing our ideas and we kind of come. It's like nights at a round table or it's kind of. You know, we could almost call ourselves the Avengers of Health because we all have our own important part to play and nobody has to be like me or nobody has to be like you, Al. But what we are doing here is we are putting the strategies in place to be able to fast track your way to a better health, to a better you. And then if you become better within yourself, it is not about climbing Mount Everest in a day. It is really about just taking one step in the right direction. And that's what I do every day. Like, I may have a couple of losses on the board being today, my calories may go into 6, 7, 8,000 calories today, because I think I ate half the cheesecake for my breakfast or for morning tea, and that's really not my norm. But guess what? If I'm only doing that 5% of the time out of the whole 100% of my days, I'm winning every day. And that's what is really important. It's not really. Again, like I said, it's not about climbing Everest today or tomorrow. It's really taking one step at a time and making sure you are moving forward. And forget about what's happening in the past because we all have skeletons in our closet. And that's what's important to understand that. Don't make the same mistake twice. Think about what you're doing and move forward from here on in. And don't beat yourself up because you've made some wrong choices in life. Because this is where you are now, this is where we're going tomorrow. This is what we're going to do from the next moment in our life. And that's why for me and exactly what you say, Al, it's about the Benjamin Button theory. I want to enjoy the years in my life. I don't want to be just around to be the 81.7 year old male that hasn't really gotten anything out of life. I want to travel, I want to see things. I want to help people. I want to kind of create a legacy about how every person I speak to, I can improve their life in some way, shape or form. And that's what brings us here today, Al. That's what's so exciting.

But even with the cake stuff, Ken, you do it because you can, right?

Absolutely.

And that's, that's what you. That's what I would, would coin the term earning the right to play. We used to say it with rugby league a lot when I was playing. It's like, you know, complete assets, get downfield field position, you know, tighten up our d. You know, we've got to earn the right to play, earn the right to throw the ball around, do some fancy kicks and all sort of. You do that because you can. Now some of you guys might be listening. I can too. Well, I can go eat cake. Can you? Can you? Really? Awesome. What are the repercussions? What are the patterns and pitfalls? What's the inflammatory markers that already exist inside of you that make that a chronic state? Because like my mother in law, bless her, it's okay to treat yourself as long as you're treating yourself every single day. So it's like, all right, well that's cool, of course you can. But you get what I mean. Just because you have the physical ability to do it doesn't mean you're doing yourself a service for moving forward in your life. And it's really interesting. Two points that you brought up there, Ken, that I just want to touch on. The first one Is the team the avengers of health, legacy and winning the second half in life as a father. Absolutely. Like, I don't want, you know, and I'm not. I wouldn't want to be the smartest person in the room and I'm not. And in terms of our coaching team and I don't want. Yes many that we've got it. We've got a great crew where we all voice our position, our perceptions, our opinions and everything. And that's. That's powerful because through that level of genuine and respected collision and touch points on what works, what doesn't, what do we need to do? It's fucking amazing, mate, because you find the path forward and that's what I love about our team. Very strong, very strong leaders moving forward. And you know, the other one is talking about like the low, I guess the low hanging fruit when you're talking about the main thing. This is what people do. They review and analyze everything, which becomes overwhelming, which just then becomes theory inside of their internal reality, which means they do fucking nothing or they pick the wrong thing. Like what you said, Ken, find the right thing and it's going to be the right thing that brings the biggest ROI and triple down on that very, very simple example. Started tracking my heart rate more closely with my workouts to hit a beautiful sweet spot and zone. That one thing was the first step to training again like an athlete. Not necessarily with the intensity of going to the CrossFit Games area of that and redlining myself. I've got other areas of life that I'm hunting and dominating in work, business, service, family relations, relationships. But that in itself has helped me stay connected with what Ken obviously dials in for me. So Ken's my coach in this area. And then also the second one, and this is the crazy one, which I never really valued, man. Electrolytes. Like, I've got this right here and I, I personally love Enduro. I think it's a brand that's been around for a long time. They've got great runs on the board with triathletes and all that sort of stuff. But this Endura brand, we probably should make our own one day, Ken, we'll make a hpf. But this purely reading the research that you put together in our HPF rebuild program and researching and reading what you put together, I was like, shit, man. We consume more water in volume than food. Like, I don't eat four kilos of food, but I drink four liters of water, which is a liter and a kilo is virtually the same and then also, I'm not replenishing myself and I'm not going to rely on energy drinks and that sort of shit for it. And I was like, mate, since I've started bringing electrolytes, and yes, I have three serves a day. I'm a large man, I'm training well. You know, I bring in three serves of that a day. That, plus the heart rate, tracking those two alone can have created massive changes in my life. I'm no longer feeling as fatigued as I was. I'm not dehydrated because I'm making a habit right now in here. I've got my drink with. I've got my mojo in there as well. So it's an amazing blend, actually, you know, and it's great. I'm serving my body with what it needs at a fundamental level. I'm not getting tribulus and long Jack and, you know, long Jack is amazing. Tomcat Ali. It's a good test support that's in our mojo product. But I'm not going out hunting for all these. This is the big answer that's going to make me. It's like, man, Al, are you getting key electrolytes every single day inside of your body? And are you monitoring your performance in your training so you don't burn out and so you don't sandbag like that? Fucking simple, Ken. Like, it's amazing, mate.

It's crazy because when you think about what our body needs and kind of what we're giving our body and how we're dealing with inflammatory things that are kind of coming in and out of our life, from nutrition point of view, from stress, et cetera, whether it be stress or physical stress or emotional stress, our body still has to recover. And so when we talk about recovery, it's about, well, we've got to give the right nutrients. We don't have to be exactly right. Like, let's be realistic. As you said, we don't have to be elite athletes, but we need to be giving ourselves basic nutritional value, being from not only foods, but it's also coming from hydration. Now, in any fruit, generally in all fruits, 90% of its water. And so think about anyone that's kind of listening or dialing in with us, like, how much fruit do you really have? How many vegetables do you have? Like, these things in itself that calculates to have, you know, you need water. But the big thing is here, when you think about what's the most important kind of nutrient or anything that the body requires is oxygen. So then why do you think we go in and we start to talk about when people's posture is compromised and they're sitting in front of a computer or sitting in a car or whatever they're doing, and they're not really moving much, then our ability to take in oxygen is going to be compromised because of poor posture, because of reduction of movement over the age of 30 years old, because we've just become a little bit less active, our body starts to slow down in most cases, unless we're keeping ourselves physically active, as we start to get a bit older, from the age of 30 through to 75, muscle will waste away. If we don't use it, we will lose it. But if we don't also nourish it, we're going to lose it at a double rate. And if we don't hydrate it, then we're going to deplete it at a triple rate. And so then we start to look at those simple things, and then we start to look at someone's nutrition, what they're eating, and they're picking up a garage meal or they're skipping breakfast, they're having a coffee or a sugar drink or something like a pastry for lunch. And then all of a sudden they're trying to say to me, listen, what do we do next? Let's not get into the intricate detail, but really, let's get you hydrated, let's get you breathing a little bit better, let's get you working on your posture a little bit more. Let's get you working on the most simple things, the lowest hanging fruit as we talk about. And that's kind of what we start to dive into when we talk about our biological age against our chronological age. Our chronological age is I'm 51 years old today, that's my chronological age. Yeah, 51 years ago I was born. But guess what? That's not my biological age. Because I'm happy to stand beside any 50, 40, 30, 20, right beside them. You give me any challenge, physical, emotional, nutritional, give me any challenge, do my blood work, do my body composition, we'll run up a hill, we'll push a weight, we'll tug on, I don't care what it is. So this is where, when we look at your chronological age, I'm 51 years old, but guess what? My biological age, Shit, I can't remember. But I don't feel like I'm aging like they talk about people's age, like the 50's the new 40, the 40 is the new 30, the 30s, the new 20. Hang on a minute, hang on. Just because you look in the mirror and you look cosmetically great, that's just the biggest load of BS I've ever seen. And this is where this social media steers people in so many ways. Bullshit rabbit holes. Because of they've got all of these different things that they can change what they look like, what they're doing, what they, you know, all of this bullshit. And this is what's happening to a lot of people. They're being influenced by social media now. You know what, like, let's be realistic. Like at the end of the day, what most of these people, when they get on, on these bloggers and whatever else, what you'll find is, yeah, you know when they're kind of doing their Instagram photos where they train for 30 minutes, half an hour, three, four days a week and you can have a body like mine. Bullshit. I'll challenge any one of those people, male or female. I'll have a look at their nutrition. I'll have a look at where they're doing in training. Just because you've got the genetic ability, it doesn't mean you have the other key pillars that are going to help you achieve that. Like some people are freaks of nature like Olympians and they have to spend 12 decades of absolute dedication, 12, 14, 16 hours a day in each of the pillars that we talk about. But when we come back to what we're talking about, what really the Real dad movement, the high performance fathers are all about, is the real deal. We're not sugarcoating anything here. This is a lifelong process. We are about to change your life forever. This is not some cookie cutter program that you can do in 12 weeks or one month or six months and expect your whole life's going to be turned around. Hey, shit. We'll change your lives around. Absolutely. You give me three months with anyone and I'll be able to change your life around From a physical, emotional and a nutritional point of view, Absolutely, without a doubt. But we want to be able to sustain that. And that's what's most important about the method. What we're trying to do with people here is to really teach them how to live for life. Not for a day, a week or a month. That's really about what we are all about here in rdm. Yeah, that's. It's just unbelievable.

And technology is a dangerous thing, man. Like, it's really, really easy to forget filters and buffers and polishes. Like I remember, like years ago when Photoshop became very popular, people Were doing a poor. You can. They're doing a poor job. You can do a really, really good job these days on Photoshopping and just getting some. With, let's say a bird, for example, in a bikini, and just getting her. Getting the bum to stick out a bit more. Just curving in the back or bringing the waist like. It's crazy, man. Like a lot of stuff, you know, And I'm just using that as an example because it's pushed so heavily on superficial. A superficial element of this is what validates who you are or a way to gauge or measure that you are a successful woman or an alpha woman because you're pretty or your eyes and your fucking cheeks glow and you. It's like, man, you remove filters and Photoshops and other moving parts or even those who aesthetically, perceivably, look fit and sound. What's going on on the inside? Now? Look, we've got our face of Father's Skincare, which is awesome. Like, that's nourishing, looking after your skin. And I love that. I'm proud of it. But I'm not here posting claims going, hey, it's going to make you look fucking like a baby again. It's actually just nourishing and looking after a very important organ for the body, the skin, the largest one that the body has and contains all the other organs in it, obviously, which is awesome. That's why I use the creams not just on my face, but on my arms and chest and whatnot. And awesome. That's great. But what Ken's talking about is really establishing the foundation for not being. I actually wrote the word here, Ken. It's funny. Not being an elite athlete, being an elite lifeleep, because that's what it's about, man. I want to be fucking elite for my life. What I did through my 20s, basically, it was really weird, Ken. As soon as I turned 30, I felt like I got sick. I hardly ever get sick. I got sick three times that year. As soon as I turned 30, people like, oh, 30. It's all downhill. 30 is nothing like it's. But it was just weird. I think it was coming off the back end of slowing down in my athletic career, with sport, everything just catching up with me, mate, so to speak. Like flogging a dead horse for years. But that's what it felt like when I look back. But it was because I just had that mental grip. I just never gave up. Which is why I say the term dead horse, because I literally would go into robot or zombie mode When I'd be competing or doing training and would just, you know, the brain and the head, mind, whatever you want to call, was so strong that it just willed the body into doing, you know, bone on bone, knee, mate, I've had that for 12 years now, yet I'm snatching 120, squatting 220, clean and jerking 160. Like that's a lot on the knee, pistol squats, all that sort of shit. But I literally would will my and bend my mind around the need to talk to it to create a perception and connection. That's biology. Belief, which is a powerful thing, can work only for so long. But I'm just warming up, man. Like, I want to be someone who in their 40s and 50s is still warming up. Like, even at your age now, ken, you've got 30 years before you hit that average. The average age, like, because of where you are in your position. They are 30 massive amazing years. Most people, when they're hitting 50, they're like growing for five, 10 more years and I can finally relax. Relax with What? You'll be 65, shot to body's torn to no energy, mentally exhausted, possibly on your second, third marriage, or alone, completely broken, trying to rebuild what you got a few digits in the account. Fuck that. That would kill me, man. I cannot think of anything worse to be fair, Ken, than not going upstream, positioning myself in my 30s and 40s to make sure I'm getting my shit together, to look after not just as the chronological age ticks on, but the biological age. Because from this, the vessel of life which has lived through the human body, health, from this, everything else does blossom. It really does. It's not that we're specifically a fitness program per se. You know, this is revolutionizing the way a father can perform to become a high performance father in life. But the component we have with Ken alone in the fold and our energy protocol, it's second to none. But on that, like, how do we do that, Ken? Like biological age, how do we bring that as the man's number goes up, as he gets a couple more wrinkles and whatnot and a few more grays, how do we bring the most important number actually down? How do we do that?

Lifestyle is everything. When we look at someone's lifestyle, everyone like no two bodies are the same. And depending on what situation, whether you're in a country town or whether you're in a capital city or no matter where you are, the circumstances are still the same with the choices that you make in life. Because in reality when we talk about the simple things in life, they come at no cost. When you're choosing, you have to eat, you have to drink, you will socialize, you will entertain no matter what you do. And it's about what you're consuming with inside your body. It's about the choices you make not every day, but literally on the hour, the things that you choose to do on the hour you choose to go to bed either 9, 10, 11, 12, 1 or 2 o' clock in the morning, you choose whether to switch that switch on from the TV. Whether you watch it at 9, 10, 11 or 12, what are the benefits? Are you watching it because you just watching a movie, or are you watching it because you're learning some breathing technique or you're sitting there with the kids? What's the value of that time? Or do you need to be sleeping, you need to be getting into the bed an hour earlier because you've got such a big day the next day and your average sleep is six hours when you can really hit that switch. And that comes at no cost other than to improve your everyday life. Now, when you put something in your mouth when you wake up in the morning, or you choose to eat something at lunchtime, or you choose to skip breakfast because you're on an intermittent fasting program and yet the first thing you have is a coffee or you don't have access to a coffee and so you grab a energy drink or a Powerade or a Gatorade, which is full of shit and full of sugar, which even dehydrates you even more. And just because of the big companies are selling you some bullshit, this rehydrates you when it is absolutely full of crap and you haven't done your homework, or you haven't listened to what we're trying to explain to you, or you haven't read the little snippet that we've sent to you, well then it's your choice. If I give you an exercise program and you're not sleeping, I'll promise you I'll pull that exercise program off you and tell you to breathe, tell you to go to sleep an hour earlier, tell you to turn off electric devices an hour earlier, don't eat three hours before you go to bed. And guess what? I'm going to change everything in your life within the next 24 hours. Because when you wake up the next day and you've got seven or eight hours up your sleeve because of you've just made a choice to go to bed an hour or two hours earlier and you haven't sat there and watched the idiot box because you've got nothing beneficial from it, because you've just created a habit that you just can't get away from that box. Well, then that's your choice. So these, why all of these simple things in life, the choices you make, there's going to be an action and a reaction. And so what we're trying to do here is decrease anxiety. We're trying to decrease the stresses within your life, give you tools on how to manage those stresses so that they're not long term stresses, if they're short term stress, like when you do a workout. We're trying to give you the techniques as in sleep, breathe, eat nourishing foods, whole foods, and that's going to help your body recover so that then you can sleep better. Your heart rate variability is not going to be all over the place. You're not going to choose to drink alcohol over top of hydration. Like good foods, good nutrition, et cetera, all of these things have an impact on your life. And the only people or the only person that can take control is you. You're the only person in charge. We can give you all the tools, but if you don't want to use those tools, there's nothing we can do. We can lead a horse to water, but we can't make him drink. That's what it's all about. You need to take action. Literally. Now, don't say shit, I'm doing it tomorrow or I'm starting Monday. You need to take action right now. If I'm giving you nutrition, I'm giving you exercise. I don't mind that you haven't implemented it straight away, but what you're doing, you've put a plan in place that you're trying to get everything sorted because you're going shopping today, you're changing your day tomorrow so that you can sleep a little bit better today. You're going to change your tonight's routine so that you can get more sleep, because that's going to make the biggest changes in your life. The lowest hanging fruit that doesn't cost you anything other than flicking a switch.

That's what it's about, isn't it crazy too, man, look. Yes, in a world that continually gets faster with technology, attention is the number one commodity, right? But we're all attention poor now when it comes to looking inwards and then drawing focus, which then pulls in time and energy which creates your reality. They're the building blocks. Very straightforward, can't argue it. It's not an opinion when we have that, Ken, unfortunately, people just overlook the basics and the fundamentals. Like, it's not. It's what Ken's sharing now. It's not boring, it's empowering. Like you have complete control. Every single man that's come to me and has either been broken or breaking or breaking down or struggling or in the rut, he's lost control. He wants control. He needs every human desires that your children desire, your wife desire. Everyone desires that. Well, the problem is they're looking outside of themselves to attain that which is impossible. I can overpower my children because I'm larger and stronger than them, but I don't own them. Do I really control them? Is it an infinite level of control? Of course not. So when people look at that, they create an imbalance inside of themselves which then creates confusion and chaos between their internal reality, perceptions, belief systems, expectations, and then assumptions and then the external reality which doesn't match up. That's insanity, man. That's what creates chaos. Yes, there's some Einstein fucking saying same thing over and over. Expect a different. This is what it is, a lack of alignment between your internal and external reality. That. That's if you want to peel the layer back one more. So instead of going for the quick fix stuff and the shiny, ow. I've got this fucking protein powder, it's got a fat burner. Fucking come on, mate. What kind of man are you if you can't even do the basic things? Well, firstly, and secondly, the things that are going to give you the greatest level of control, you get to breathe anyway, otherwise you're dead. You need to drink water, otherwise you're dead. You need to eat food, otherwise you'll slowly die and you'll be dead. You're going to do it anyway. Master the basics and look inside of your life and go, this is empowering. By actually creating a night routine. And my night routine is a little bit of breath work. It's cutting some technology. You want to get some blue light glasses, fucking great. But do something that winds you down and creates the right environment for you to then build or begin the rejuvenation process. Not just when you're asleep, it starts before you go to sleep. Instead of just stealing hundreds of minutes the next day because of the shit you drag through the night from the day before. That's critical to understand that. Water hydration, food. You're going to put something in your mouth anyway. Don't need to be a saint, but just pride yourself. Pride yourself on mastering the fundamentals and the basics. Because those who do that and do it well are the ones who then have the platform and the leverage to create greater complexities in life and to create more fine tuned elements that ultimately create greater experiences. Ken why? Because they've got a massive foundation and base.

It's. MIKE it's just as you say, Al, the process is really simple. Yeah, you've got the direction, you've got our guidance, all of this stuff moving forward and anyone out there that like have little children, okay. And when I say little children, you know, My youngest is 11, 11 and a half years old. And we talk about the three little pigs and a nice little, nice little kind of nursery rhyme. And the thing is, you know, if you build your body out of paper mache, it is going to come crumbling down. And if you're not trying to change what you do on a day to day basis and you know, the second pig is like making his house or her house out of mud and clay and stuff like that. And then still, then we're still missing the real simple things in life about the building blocks, the nutrition. As we age, as our chronological age, like as days and months and years go by, we do age from a chronological point of view, but our biological age, like some things do slow down and we can't, we really can't stop that. And that's just part of life. And I understand that. But my legacy and what I've been doing is looking at kind of the leaders in the world out there and thank God to technology in this instance because we do have access to some incredible stuff which allows us to get to the forefront of what is really the best stuff for any individual. For that matter, we don't nail it every time, but as we age, like you know, our hormone structure changes and then what happens is we don't have such a desire for the amount of food for when we're a kid to a teenager to a young adult into our adolescence, like things like that. So we've got to recognize this. And without staying in tune with our own body, sometimes it gets a little bit too far out of reach for us. And then, and then all of a sudden it's thrown into the too hard basket and we think, fuck, there's no point of return. And this is where we get into trouble. And so this is why Rome wasn't built in a day. We've got to look at the simple things in life and take one step at a time. And what I always like to do with anyone is reverse engineer things so that if all of a sudden your role is to lose 30 kilos, let's not focus on that 30 kilos. Let's look at the little wins on the board that so much. If it's 30 kilos, let's look at what we can do in a week. Let's look at a kilo in a week. You know, I know if you've got 30 kilos to lose, I can actually get literally 2 kilos off in a week. But in reality, I don't want 2 kilos off in a week because I want body fat coming off and I want you to maintain all your muscle. So this is where we start to get into the second, third, fourth layer of the onion. So that I can really educate you on why you're doing it. It's just not about a numbers game. And this is why what I'm trying to do here is really educate you on how to do this for life. Not just for a week or a month or for a quick fix. You know, as we start to look at things, you know, we start to age a little. And yet our hunger and our thirst isn't as irrelevant when we're children or young adults. Also, because things do start to change within our body, we don't generally notice we put one or two kilos on in a week or two weeks or six weeks even. But when all of a sudden we put that suit jacket on and we put that business shirt on, or we put something on because we're attending a funeral, wedding, an engagement, whatever else, and all of a sudden we go, hey, shit. I've had to release my buttons on my pants, or I've had to come out a couple of notches on my belt. That should be the first indicator. That should be when you go, shit. Okay, this is. Whenever I deal with women, I say, get me your best dress. Get me your best skirt. Get me your best thing. Because cosmetically, when they put these things on, they look at themselves in the mirror and they put something that they've had on 1, 3, 5, 10 years ago, can they still get into that? So that's a superficial point of why I look at the things, but that's that cosmetic thing that people really can connect to. And that's where they get involved in getting bombarded with all this bullshit from social media. There is some really good stuff out there for social media, don't get me wrong. But where people are following, I want to look like this, I want to look like this. I want to do this. I want a six Pack, okay, Go down the pub and grab one from the bot load, you know, like shit. Come on, let's be realistic. Like, you know, I just went to the hairdressers quickly this morning because I haven't had a haircut except for by my son and my wife about six weeks ago that everyone see, which I look like they put a bowl over their head and just shaved me. But at the end of the day, you know, like I look at the hairdresser, the barber and like he's like 62 years old. But he looked like he's about 90 years old because his nutrition is shit and he's going, mate, I've had, you know, back problems and everything else and I'll be walking on a treadmill for 90 minutes a day or so. Well, that's going to fuck you back up, isn't it? Because just walking on a treadmill with not having the right kind of guidance in what you really should be doing. He doesn't need to be looking for an hour and a half a day to walk on a treadmill. All he needs to do is literally go through a little bit of mobility and literally do maybe 20 minutes a day of walking. But not on a treadmill, but out in the elements. Get out in the elements and enjoy the real life. We're living in a beautiful part of the world, Australia. There's no other place I'd rather be. So if you can get out, breathe the fresh air in like just that alone, forget about walking inside some gym or inside some bloody confined four walls on a treadmill that's completely non functional, get off your lazy ass, get out there in the elements and go for a walk. We've got a beach here, right, like literally 500 meters from my house here. It's most amazing. And he's telling me he's walking in this bloody, in this room on a treadmill for 90 minutes every day and I go, I bet your back's no good, is it? He goes, yeah, funny you say that. And we'll talk about chronological versus biological. This guy's 62 and I'll tell you what, if he doesn't look like a day, kind of like around 80 years old, I'll go hopping. So that in itself. So this guy's aging in a way that I could change his life around. So I'm going to give him some really simple stretching stuff to do in a week's time just to drop him some stuff in. Because that's what I do when I come in contact with people. I Want to help them just improve quality of life. Like, it's just, that's how simple it is. And some of the things that we've gone through, the key basic things about just moving, it's not really about trying to be an elite athlete. It's not really about trying to, you know, like, jump over hurdles every day. It's really about step by step by step process. And that's what it is. One step at a time.

Yeah, couldn't agree more, mate. When we're looking at life as a whole and it being a collective of experiences and energy, it is the long game, Ken. You know, like, it's, it's not getting drawn into the quick, radical changes that just become that flashy or that shiny object that people get drawn into, you know, and this is what leads to consistently building the life that you desire. Standards. It's standards man. Like you said, the paper mache. Like, are you a paper mache man or you're powerhouse, mammoth of a man because of your standards. And your standards dictate the type and the level of action that you take. And it's the, that you take day in, day out that creates the difference. Not just conforming to something because you, you have a false belief system around it being the solution for you, but it actually gets you nowhere and it makes you worse. Like what this man is. And, and a part of that is focus. That's why we're here. It's why we're here doing these podcasts and just to, just to wrap this up, you know, share a quick story with you, it's true, but I won't give the correct names and whatnot. But, you know, before I dive into that quickly, what are you focusing on? Are you focusing on your biological age or are you watching the chronological age and just having fear and worry and concern and doubt that continually determines and dictates your actions or lack thereof. Now, the whole principle that we have, which I love what you say yes to means you say no to something else. I love that it doesn't mean that it's right or wrong. People don't get confused. Don't get confused, men. When you hear me say that, when you say yes to something, you say no to something else. Like I'm saying yes to Ken right now. So technically I'm saying no to my family. It doesn't work that way. What I am is I'm aware I'm going yes, right now. I'm investing in the circle of service and I love that. I live for that. And I'M doing that with Ken because I've allocated a time where I'm going to say no to service and say yes to my family this afternoon. So it's not that it's a right or wrong, it's just people say blind yeses and blind no's without even fucking knowing where it's taken them. Ken. But this story I want to share, this is real as well, this is true. Just to paint this picture on you guys with standards and talking about this, I'll call them Bill and Bob. Bill shared with me Bill's a great bloke and Bill's been consistently doing great in life. I'm not going to say if it's a man or woman or how I know them, but I'm just going to call them Bill. Bill's been doing really well in life. Family soft and service pretty solid. And Bill isn't a member by the way as well. Just for those members listening or those not listening, Bill is a made up name but it's a real thing that's that's happened. Bill's living a great life, you know, working hard, doing well in all the key areas and consistently, you know, being a genuine fucking human being. Bill's brother Bob has been fucking horseshit most of his life. And Bob has got a lot of different health issues. Bob has gone and done some certain things, done some quick fixes and done a few bits and pieces. And Bob also has a nightmare of a partner as well, which is a complete fuckwit. And ultimately there's a lot of toxicity around and this person and these people. Now Bob starts to create a few little changes and big changes as well. Medical and surgical procedures so that perceivably and superficially to the outside world everything looks hunky dory in Bob and Bob's life and Bob's family and Bob's relationships. And then all the people really close to Bill start going, fucking look at Bob, look at Bob go. He's amazing. And Bill comes to me a little bit frustrated in confidence going, I'm a bit frustrated Al. Like it's not that I'm jealous or upset or you know, for this person trying to create changes in their life. But I've been on the fucking level my whole life, man. I'm like, that's right Bill, you have. And I guess this is the hard part, you know, just sharing that with you guys. Like how about when someone comes like, yeah, I've dropped this amount of weight, I've done this fucking 28 day dad boy challenge Or I've done this or done. And they talk about these, quick fix, my daughter. It's like, yeah, that's cool, man. I've been a fucking legend of a human being for 25 years. How's that going for you? And this is the frustrating part for me, Ken, you know, because Bill is a close mate of mine and, well, that's not his name. I'm like, it's so fucking true, man. Someone who's living a dog shit life with poor standards, they're no fucking leader at all. They make a little bit of change and everyone jumps up and down like fucking cheerleaders. How about the man who's just consistently turning up and being a fucking legend every day? What about that? What about living and maintaining the fundamentals and the basics of being someone who adds value to the community and service, is good inside of themselves in a true and genuine way without cutting corners, and is a genuine leader inside of their family and their relationships and those that they interact with in their inner circle and they love and care about and influence. What about those people? What about Ken Lavander who's been a fucking legend for 30 plus years in ultimately some pretty hard stuff he's been through. Go through the previous episodes of his stories in lots of different hardships and a lot of accelerated learning very early in his life to build such a foundation and a kingdom from just continually turning up instead of, you know, old mate who goes from fat to fit to fat to fit or, you know, not that I don't even know who that man is, but people who go and do all these extreme things just to get the spotlight on them. Those listening. And I'm just painting perspective and observations of actions. Those listening. I really want you to take what I've shared with, with you then on board and just really explore that and go, you know what? Yes, I am, I am comparing myself to others. Yes, I am focusing on the wrong things. Yes, I'm trying to, you know, keep up with the jones. I never understood that shit grass is greener on the other side. Keep up with the jones. All these tags, I never understood it until now because I can see it how it's chronically rife throughout society. But if you just turn up and you do not just do what we say you should do, but do what you said you would do and use people who have, who are in your corner, your best interest at heart, where your championship team in your corner, Ken and I and the crew, to influence you to take the right actions. You will consistently build your Life. Instead of just fucking knock down, rebuild, renovate, put a face, put a facade on here, all right? Just slap on a fucking bathroom there, all right? This is shit. Replacement, man. No one wins with that. It's actually really building your life and building the kingdom and that story whilst I shared it, Ken, it's so true, mate. Because I look at Bill and I'm like, you know what, Bill? Just focus on your lane, man, because you are a legend and you know that you can't buy into other people's stories. I get it. It's frustrating because Bob's your brother, but you're a fucking great bloke. And this is why we have the tribe. This is why we have a team. Because you know what? It's easy, Ken. It's easy for me to get distracted if someone tries to pull me into their worldview and all the moving parts of life. And everyone has someone else who just wants to knock them down a peg or two. But stay in our lane and champion your life by having people who only want to see you win and you'll never lose.

Yeah, mate, good story. Absolutely.

I wish I could dive into specifics more, Ken. I could blow you away, man.

But it's just really briefly on that, Al, what's amazing, and when you're kind of, you know, when I switch the news on or something or something like that that I kind of stumble across because I don't really like watching the news with all the bullshit and all the kind of false information that most of the times push out there. But in saying that, like, just that in itself, like you hear about when, you know, someone dies or something like that, you know, it's a sad thing and no matter for anyone, but when these criminals, all these people that actually have intent to take someone else's life, and then someone that they know gets on and talks about how wonderful that person is and kind of the superficial things about that person, when they've taken someone else's life or they've done something and there's been no real substance in their life. And you're exactly right, the spotlight gets turned on and all of a sudden these people feel sorry for them real quickly. Like, the thing is, if times are tough, that's where the substance upon what you are built on within your legacy, within what you repetitively do. You all know who's the strong person coming out on the other side of this shit? It's a bit like what we've spoken about before. You and I can get 100 paper cuts before we Let out a bit of a squill. But most of these bullshit artists, these superficial ass wipes, get one or two paper cuts and the world's coming to an end from. And I get it, everyone has different abilities or different reasons for whatever reason. But let me tell you something. Within what I've done in the last realistically 30 to 33 adult years of my life, I've made choices, mate, and I'll stand by my choices. And some are good, some are bad. But you know what? I have a legacy to help everyone and not to sugarcoat any shit. Whenever I talk to anyone, there's no sugarcoating. And this is what will bring us out on the other side. And exactly what you were saying, Al. This high performance fathers, this movement that we have come together with, might I get goosebumps? Like literally you could shit, I could climb Mount Everest with the adrenaline that runs through my body. I know, bullshit. I can be like the Wim Hof, mate, no shoes, fuck it, I'll take me undies off too and get frostbite on my balls, mate. Because the big thing is, mate, start to peel the first second layer off and you'll truly understand whether this person is built on bullshit or just really good foundational core values, family values, you'll see what they're made of. And that's what's really important in life, mate. Like the thing is a chronological age, mate, in everything that we do, it's going to increase at a set rate and we can't change that. We have no ability with technology and everything, we cannot change the rate of our chronological age. But by fucking Christ, we have control on how we live, that we could have control around our nutrition, we have control around our hydration, we have control around the stress that we are constantly dealing with on a day to day basis. And if you're not willing to get your balls out of your purse and do something about it, well then, guess what? Fuck. I'm never going to be able to help you, Al. You're never going to be able to help them either. You need to change and you need to change your mindset. And that's kind of what I want to finish on, Al, because like that story I come across that day after day, week after week and it's the same old bullshit story about how come I got cancer or how come that person got cancer. And then when you start to build like kind of peel that first second layer off, you start to understand that really they have been built on bullshit on the paper mache on tissue. When you're trying to build a house, double brick house, and they're building it out of tissue. Because, mate, it's not about what you don't all of a sudden, like we've spoken about, you don't get cancer overnight. Yeah, like we've all got cancerous cells. But if we keep hitting every position of our body being nutrition, hydration, stress, you know, all this shit that we just keep just smashing our body and not paying it any due respect. Life is a gift. And if you want to take advantage of that and think that some supplement or pill is going to fix that, well, guess what, you're kidding yourself. It's not going to happen. Or guess what? Technology and things at the moment doesn't have the ability to fix that right now. That's really what it comes down to. So everyone just needs to take a long hard look and just this is why we do what we do within this, yeah, Real dad movement, the high performance fathers. This is what brings us together as winners, as leaders. That's what it's all about. And that's why I'm so bloody proud to be a part of you, our part of the team. It's just amazing because we are here to help each other. There's no secrets in life. It is so simple. Just start moving forward, guys.

Yeah, Love it, Ken. Just turn up and do the work. You know, we can't change anyone. You know, that's the thing. You must be willing to change yourself. And that's the truth, Ken. We can guide you, steer you and influence you, but that you always take that step. The question is, how are you moving about with the change in your life? Because change is inevitable. Is it good, bad or the ugly? And secondly, are you initiating a control of the controllables to create those changes? Because like Ken said, you can't control your chronological age. You can't change that keeps ticking away every time cycle around, the sun ticks away. You can change your biological age, control the controllables, control what you can and then choose. It's very simple. Life is choice, man. Like your identity is a choice internally matched with truth. Externally. Everything, everything is choice. Not choosing is a choice. So we don't tell you to change. Some need to change. You choose whether to change or not. But love it. Ken, that was a great episode. I hope this served you well, man, and you enjoyed this and really got a couple of nuggets out of the whole element around biological age. But not just that, winning the long game. You know, there are many People who are watching in the shadows. And yes, there's many who want us to succeed, there's many who want us to fail. That's fucking life. I don't really care. I focus on our lane, doing what we do. But when it's perceived that what we've built has become a global overnight success, we will look back and go, well, it's a bit hard when you can see that's what they did for the last 25, 30 years. It's a bit hard to call it an overnight success or they got lucky because we were around before COVID and before fucking men. And families were being destroyed and broken and mental health is going at an all time. We were around before that. This is not a reactionary thing to go, hey, there's a niche. Let's go fucking help some dads. No, no, this is. This is really not only building an enduring family nucleus, but building one with stability, strength and fortitude, where the father will win because he does, everyone else does, and he has his pair of pants to wear like the woman does. And when they bring this collectively together, it's what creates generational stability and really evolution. The end. Great episode, Ken. Thank you, mate. And thank you guys for listening and watching.

Awesome stuff, mate.

1,000 minutes a day. It's a lot. When you're wasted on shit that doesn't serve you or move yourself or your family forward. You are bleeding the most valuable resource that you and I never get back. How much time do you think you have and how much quality do you think you've had? Don't be a fool like the masses, thinking you will cheat the system or get round to it one day or worse. Just accepting life and sinking back into a slumber of regret. This is your moment, your time. You're cut from a different cloth. You have the hunger and desire to be more and live more. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. So stand up, find the golden nuggets. In this episode, you just listened to and align immediate action with them and where you want to go. You are worthy. This is your life. You are the king. And this is your kingdom. Now go and claim it by showing, not telling, and be the real leader. You and I both know you were born to be.