146. Subjectively Objective

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement podcast. The point and purpose of these episodes, as always, is to have a point and purpose towards helping you win the second half in life by building a path of becoming the best father, husband, man and member of your community that you can be. We do this with various ways of connecting. Life is connection. And as you hear these words spoken time, time and time again, know that the driving force of connection in life is energy. Which means that how you turn up as a father, as a husband, as a valued member of society will always start and end with how you turn up as a man within yourself. First, this is why it's my mission, my purpose, our mission, our purpose through Real Dad Movement to inspire, motivate, educate, and guide you into thoughts, feelings, actions, and a change in your belief systems to rise up, cut the shit from your life and live and leave a real legacy. When dads win, everyone wins. And when you win, I win. Let's get moving forward, mate. Right here, right now. Subjectively objective. What does that even mean, Al? You and your fancy words and trickery and wizardry of just putting different fucking words together and thinking it makes some sort of sense. I'll tell you exactly what I mean and welcome to another episode. What a time to be alive, baby. Subjectively objective. You know, when we talk about facts and feelings, when we discuss feelings, follow the facts if you want to get ahead in life. Feelings first drive us though. It becomes this whole yin yang, double side of the coin. The dichotomy. The dichotomy, not the dichomedy, although there's a lot of comedies around that you'll see off the back of this. But the dichotomy of life in the sense of. Well, feelings drive me, Al, but sometimes my feelings hurt me. Yes, they do. Feelings are fleeting also as well. Have they always got your back? Well, no, they don't. And are they always determining the external reality that is actually the presence of your life right here and now? Well, no, they don't. Because a lot of the times the feelings are a collective of not only the subconscious, but patterns of previous history. Previous history. What a cracker. Of previous specific circumstances. Some are repeatable, which is history, which leads you to a position or a belief system that does not necessarily line up with either the truth, the external world, because this is your internal world and reality, right? Feelings, the external world and what you're presented with, whether it's your relationships, whether it's your work, whether it's your actions, and how you actually gauge and judge Them, man, like fuck. If you're going to give yourself shit for the bad, make sure you give yourself a rap and a pat on the back for the good in the world that you offer and provide. Because there's a lot of good inside of you, and not just in your heart, inside of your actions, inside of your intentions. Not that we live and die by intentions or potential, so to speak, but it's a very powerful thing to understand that you have done something good, right? You can't be sitting here or driving or listening or, or laying down or training or doing something, walking and listening to this podcast and all of our other episodes and go, hey, I'm coming at you, mate, with nothing but shit. In my entire life, no one, even the worst of the worst, even criminals, the worst of the worst criminals have probably very minor and very sporadic pockets and periods of good things that they've done. You know, when we're looking at life as a whole, it is really funny. It is the dichotomy of life. It's like, well, feelings ignite the spark and drive us out, but the facts will keep us true to the course, but the feelings reinforce the reason why. We want to establish a better set of facts, but it's the facts that are going to ultimately deliver the outcomes from which the feelings can truly be true. I feel like fucking Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with that one. It's a big whirlwind of mystery in one sentence, but is it not really? Because when you break it down into something that can become more binary inside of your life, facts and feelings, black and white. What I want to touch on with some terms, some terminology today is subjective and objective. Here's the hard part, though. Being a very emotionally driven man, like most of us are, let's be fair. Like, even if you're so a spade to spade, and you're so black and white and dry in your life and what you're doing, you're ticking all the boxes and you're regimented. Like you, you know, almost like you have some sort of defense or military background. Some of you do who listen to this. Of course, some of our members do as well, but you're carrying that through it every day of life. You're still applying a level of emotion and feeling towards something. This is. This is the hard part, man. You can't escape it. Even the stone cold face, man, you know, I did what I did. Why? Because it was the right thing to do. How did that make you feel? Didn't feel anything. I just knew it was the right thing to do. Well, so you felt nothing following through and doing what you knew was the right thing. Like, come on, mate, that doesn't work that way. You may desensitize parts of your neurochemistry and try to shut off different elements, but to your true core, you can't escape it. But this is my point with the title of this subjectively objective. And the title is going to make a little bit more sense when we dive into, obviously, the meanings and whatnot. But when we're looking at subjectively objective, the hard part is a lot of people think that their reality is so solid, is so true, is so real in their head, they've forgot to either get their head out of their ass, the head out of the sand, and look up and actually observe and take in the scope of what's actually happening inside of their life from what's immediately outside of their life to go, oh, this actually doesn't line up with what I thought. This is the hard part. Please understand, I'm never here to judge you, man. Like, I'm never here to judge you. Point the finger. It is purely an observation of actions and something to think about. And I'm sorry if I hit some sore points, but I'm also not. Because from this, if you find the gift, you'll be able to move yourself forward and liberate yourself. All breakdowns come from a lack of needs being met. All breakdowns come when needs are not being met. So when the wife all of a sudden runs away, or when there's all of a sudden an affair, because that happens. Or when there's all of a sudden a big breakdown or a huge level of trauma, physical or mental, onto yourself or onto others or hat onto you. Yeah. And I'm not talking about beating up, abusing your wife, but these things that all of a sudden present themselves, present themselves because of a chronic conditioning of needs not being met. So for a lot of you guys, when you're stunned and confused and you're throwing your hands up in the air going, how the fuck she do this to me? She's just going off and running away with another man. Or for you, who's gone, fuck, but I can't believe I fucking put my dick inside someone else, mate, you know, like this. I don't know what I was thinking. Like, this is my w. She's my queen, she's my world. And I've gone off and done this and I just can't fucking forgive myself. You should. You should forgive yourself if you are aiming to improve and move forward in your life because that's the old version of you, right? Not saying you just dust. Dust off the old hands. You learn from it. Oh, yeah. It's in the past. Happened 10 seconds ago. Don't worry about it. All good. Let's move on. Let's keep moving forward. Don't be so fucking arrogant that way, please. If you've listened to me enough, you understand what I'm talking about. With a bit more of a sweet spot and range here. When we're establishing hardships that all of a sudden pop up inside of your life with an element of surprise without actually looking up, observing the history and just tracking. Or like Hansel and Gretel following the breadcrumbs. Or Hansel. Hansel. Or Hansel. Fucking hell. Like someone needed to headbutt me then by saying Hansel. Apologies for the. Who says Hansel? What is English? English people? Who knows? I guess Hansel is probably more of an American term. Nonetheless, when the Germans are following the breadcrumbs. Or are they Austrian? I don't like. I don't like opinions. I need to find out the facts. Let me just. Let's have a quick. Let's have a quick look here. Hansel and Gretel, where are they from? Country of origin, European, in the Baltic regions. Well, that doesn't fucking help anyone anyway. Hey, you know it's real, don't you? Like, if you listen to me, you know I'm real. It's funny when I get sometimes guys reaching out and they're like, I hope you're not a scam. My response is, I hope you're not a fucking scam. My time's very important. You want to take some of my time, mate? Are you a scam? Are you a fucking flake? Just reaching out, wanting some of Al's time? I got three young children, my wife, my family inside of rdm and the group that we build, our high performance father prologue. I got a lot of fucking people that I'm more committed to than I am to you. If you're a flake, are you a scam? At least when you see me typing in Hansel and Gretel, the origin, literally doing it live time, even though you're listening to this on a replay, then I'm real. When we're following the breadcrumbs and we go upstream, that's what I love about compartmentalizing my brain. I can remember the point of what I was talking about. When you're throwing your hands in the Air, man. And these things happen and they hit you in your life and you just follow the breadcrumbs or you go upstream or whatever analogy you want to use or visual. It doesn't take too much, mate, to look back at the source and go, oh yeah, fuck, of course it happened, have a look at this. But it's hard. You can't do it if you're staying in one channel if you're blinded. No, no, I did right by my family Al I fucking worked and put food on the table and made money for them. And this is hard. We've got a lot of fifo, you know, we've got a lot of guys fly in, fly out workers. A lot of guys who don't see their family a lot or it's sporadic or yes, it's in some sort of structure, but the structure has peaks and troughs of the time you spend with them. That's hard, man. Like that's tough, you know, Credit to you for doing whatever it takes for your family. But when you come home, when you get off shift, you've got to be with your family, man. It's very hard because If I spend 10 hours with my kids, I get irritated, like the kids, right? But then when I spend 10 hours away from them, I just want to be with them. Just like when I'm training, at the end of the training I'm like, man, I'm good. I don't feel like training anymore when I haven't trained for a few days, like, man, I need to train. It's hard. There's a big sweet spot of having both, but when it's time dependent, which is hinging around your work, being away, it's bloody hard, man, it's hard. But you can't just kick back and create a definition of your own identity of who you are as a husband. Yeah, mate, we got married, had a piece of paper, I'm a husband. Like, that means fuck all. Yeah, I put food on the table, my kids get to eat. It means something. But in the grand schemes of the entirety of what a father can play as a role, it means fuck all. I'm not taking away your effort, but it means fuck all in the grand schemes of life, of what it actually means to you. Like, would you really be on your deathbed going, I'm really proud that my kids always ate, even though I never saw them. Come on, man, this is your life as well. I respect that. That's phenomenal and amazing that you're providing some level of stability for your children. In one area of life. But there are many areas of life. So you can't just go walking around with your hands in your pocket thinking that you're going to either climb some steps, climb some ladders, keep your balance, keep stability inside of your life. And then all of a sudden, when there's volatility and there's unpredictable circumstance that hits, you just think, oh yeah, nothing to do with me, not my fault. Just throw your hands in the air. This is what I mean. When we come back to what, an intro as well? When we come Back to an 11 minute intro. When we come back to the point or the topic of this episode. Subjectively objective. Because subjective is based on or is influenced by your personal feelings, by your opinions, your taste on things, your view on things. So obviously it's contrasted with objective. Objective is something that is not influenced by your personal feelings or opinions or perspectives or whatnot. It's presenting facts, it's purely representation of facts. So when you're applying judgment to yourself, to others, are you being subjective or objective? So when we're looking at what I just spoke about for the last 10 minutes, subjectively objective means you're using personal feelings, opinions, views, perspectives to try and create some sort of concrete four wall system of structure that is actually objective. That is the real world big. No, no, man, that is a dangerous place to be. I hope that makes sense now. Subjectively objective. See, when we're subjectively objective, we think that everything's all right now. Wife is happy hour. My wife does tolerate me, you know, even though I blow my stack a few times a week and even though I'm a bit short with the kids and even though, you know, I don't pull my weight sometimes in other family commitments. Yeah, she's happy enough. Could be a bit happier, but she's happy enough. Like, what the fuck does that even mean? She's happy enough, but could be a bit happier. Subjectively objective. He's going, yeah, no, I'm a really good dad. I'm really good. I know it's wrong when I lose my cool and I'm triggered and short tempered, but I just. They don't listen and I've got to tell them 20 times. I'm like, yeah, but you fucking go to work and you repeat processes. You go in the gym and you do a bicep curl fucking 50,000 times. Like, what? Where is the buck stop, mate. Where you don't feel you should have to repeat yourself when it comes to a living organism that's underneath your household, that you're trying to grow into a leader. I mean, is that. Trust me, I'm with you, man. It's fascinating. When I go through this, I process what I do and, you know, it's there. I am aware of it and I look after myself and I practice everything that I'm preaching to you, which means I'm a, you know, man who doesn't blow his stack, keeps his cool. Can see when it's cool. The triggers are coming. Okay, Al, step back, man. Don't take it personally. The kids are doing this. They're kids. You got to be aware because when you hit that point of no return, you snap. It's not good, man. It's not good for anyone. Subjectively objective is almost validating or justifying your position or the outcomes or the expectations or assumptions of what's owed to you, what is owed to you but hasn't been delivered. And all the different gray matter that unfortunately creates confusion and insanity inside of your world because your internal reality isn't matching up with the external reality. But you think it's just such a definitive line and process to go, nah, well, this is how it is. Without thinking from someone else's point of view and without first establishing the truth and the facts. I cannot tell you how much I see this, how often I see this, even with opinions. It's why I'm not big on opinions. When people ask my opinion on something, if I have little data, facts, history or knowledge on it, I'll be like, look, man, if I gave you my position, it's an opinion, so I don't even know if it's true. You have no idea how powerful it is to be that way. Like, I'm incredibly powerful in that sense. Because when someone wants to come to me and say, fuck, what do you think of COVID Or what's going on with lockdowns or what's happening with the government's decision. And I'm like, man, I'm not the one pulling the trigger. So I guess I don't have all of the facts. But when I sit back and I observe, what I'm observing is a lot of fear driven energy. I can observe energy, of course. So do I agree with a lot of the decision making processes? Well, when I go to the fundamental of being a human being and understanding the value of life, being completely energy, and then recognizing what my gut, my intuition shows as an energy of fear, being driven or. Well, I probably don't align with it, do I? But also, I'm not going to go rattling off all these statistic numbers and stats on different. That's just one example because obviously it's a reasonably hot topic at this moment, but when it comes to anything, honestly, when it comes to anything. And this is the, this is the interesting part, I think it was. I was chatting with my wife last night and. That's right, it was a quote. It was a quote that I was going to come up with and I will, you've seen, in a couple of days. I just need to polish it up a bit. I just love quotes. They're just thought provoke, provoking. Right. And I think the quote that I said last night to Corinne, she's talking to me about a little bit of gossip and drama. Look, it's what women do without being disrespectful to women. It's just, it's a part of society. Like, you know, like the hens, like the chickens going out and socializing and making noise. It's what they do. Good for them. But there came a point where I was just hit yesterday with a few different things and I was like, I'm, I just sort of just shook my head and just. I said, kryn, I'm, I'm too busy winning. Like, I'm too busy winning to worry about fucking bitching and gossip and fucking dramas and like, I'm too busy winning to worry about that sort of stuff and to be bored. Like, I'm not bored. I can't tell you the last time I was bored, to be honest, or something like that. I'm like, I'm too fucking busy winning than to focus on the bitching and whingeing and drama and gossip and boredom. Sorry, like, you know, I'll listen to you. I'm not your punching bag. I'll listen to you if you need to vent a little bit. But man, we got to set like a 10 minute cap because I'm not going to sit down for 45 minutes have you barking at me. Not that she was, but I just, she sort of didn't understand what I said. Then when I expanded on it, she understood a little bit more. Not that I coach my wife. Don't ever try and coach your wife. Let me tell you from the top, man, you do not want to try and do that. Or if you do, you want to make sure you're that fucking good that it doesn't appear that way. Corinne, I hope you don't listen to these podcasts. I know you don't, so everything's all right. But it's true. So when you're looking at being subjectively objective. The unfortunate part is, mate, when. When you think that what is solid in your world is solid in your world and in almost. It's crazy, right? It feels like an instant. It feels like a moment. You realize that it's a house of cards. You're like, fuck, I'm in trouble here. What do you do? Ego, pride? Can't lose face or can you? You disappear, you suppress, you fall apart. You find the next shiny object. People, places and things. A lot of men, when they're looking to escape. Women, of course. Symbolism of power connection, right? All men fold to the environment when exposed under a specific set of circumstances for a long enough period of time, all men. Take that as you will. Whether you think it's with women, with business, with yourself, with your mates, like the boys who became fucking donkeys on the island, like Pinocchio and he started to become a donkey. You become your environment, man. So if you're in an environment full of fluff and shit where all you talk is feelings, opinions, and you're driving emotions and everyone's got their own set of statistics and facts and you keep pushing a narrative that doesn't quite line up with the external truth and then on the internal truth of your life is definitely not moving you forward to become a better man through love and leadership. You will lose. You will lose. This is one of the most valuable things in what we do with our High Performance Father program. We have both. You need both. You are a man. You are a human being. You are a spirit, soul, a source of energy. Like these are words. They're just fucking words, man. You are a source of energy expressing and experiencing what we call life, which is consciousness and being present. That's it. You know, I'm not here to get all, you know, voodoo on you and whatnot, but it's the truth. Like the word man is created. The word human being is created. The word energy is created. That's a symbolism for expression and experience. A transaction, a transfer. There's energy in this desk, energy in this phone, energy in this pen. It's imperative that you understand that you cannot live a black and white life. You can't come to me or look yourself in the mirror or look at yourself inside of your own head and justify. Well, these are the standards that I'm upholding. They're not doing what I said, what I asked them to do, and I've got to repeat myself or this didn't follow through. You cannot come at life as a fucking hypocrite. Pushing all this shit out without looking inside of your own life first and understanding A what drives it and B, what are the real facts? Which means you can't just live in the land of the objective, but you also cannot just live in a state of being subjective. Now look, these are two terms. If you're very familiar with them. Cool. You can see they're applied in a lot of different ways. I'm applying this in a sense of psychology and connection for you as a man and how this applies to you in what's important to you in your family, your life, your business, yourself, how you carry yourself forward day to day. We have both in our high performance father program. You know, we do. I do Friday Night Lights for the guys and we talk about things from relationships, self value, self worth, feelings, the good, the bad and the ugly. What drives you? Recognizing, acknowledging them triggers, habits, all of them. And then we look at the data. Okay, did you do what you said you would do? What does that look like? What are your mitts most important things? What are your targets? Like your most important thing isn't, I want to feel better about my work hour. Like that's subjective, right? It's like, okay, well let's create something more objective. My most important thing, my MIP for this week, Al, is to hit X percentage on my sales in my side of my work and sell this amount of cars for this car dealership or hit this KPI for my work or get this big project and. Okay, cool. That's your most important thing. All right, what are your targets? Well, it's to hit this, this and this. Was going to give me that permission to play. I can go to tender. All right, cool. What are the actions that will lead to that version? Who do you need to be to follow through on that? Well, I'm not going to be staying up late at night drinking piss. L. I'm going to make sure I get up early. I'm going to make sure that I'm looking after my nutrition so I can say razor sharp when it comes to the negotiation side of the contract. Like all different moving parts. You must have both. Even with our weekly temple, we keep upgrading it. It's a six minute form. Like if you have a thousand minutes a day. Thousand minutes a day, which means you've got 7,000 minutes a week and you fill in a six minute form. What you're looking at is, I mean let's. Let's say seven minutes. If we did say it, it's less than 0.1%, obviously that's already the answer pretty quick with maths. But 7,000 minutes, alright, seven minutes, well, 70 minutes is 1%. So seven minutes is 0.1 of a percent. So six minutes is like 0.8 of a percent, like 0.85 or 0.86. So not even, not even a tenth of a percent. If you can't spend not even 1/10 of a percent on yourself to reflect on history, time and energy, life and experience that has passed over the last 7,000 minutes. Last seven days. To then help you chart your course, to adjust course, to adjust the metrics from which you need to gauge different actions, if you need to change them to be your rod and staff. To define the types of actions you need to take to realign with the path that you need to be on, to make sure you're taking the right actions that you need to take. What the hell do you think is going to make any different outcome that you currently expect to change your life than the outcomes of the current actions and habits that you've been employing and taking? Madness, man. People say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different result. Not a bad start. Well done, Einstein. I'll applaud you for that. Not bad. But not to be a smart ass, although I like that. I'm a very good smartass. But this is what insanity is for a father and modern day man, it's really going well is actually when the internal reality and the external reality don't line up. That's insanity. Could be almost the same interpretation as the same thing, different result. But I believe like doing the same thing, expecting different result. That's sort of like, like it's action taking, it's repetitious. I get all that. But for me, insanity is when the internal and external realities don't line up. That's insanity. Because you're lost, you're losing. You're moving further and further away from the possibilities because you're chewing up more time and energy that you'll never get back. There is no way I could have started and done all of this. Everything I've done with my elite sport, with running gyms, with Real dad movement and then expanding that into our high performance father program, setting up our online dad Strong store, you know, designing our own bloody teas and skincare products. There's no way I could have done all this. Starting now for the next 15 years to be where I am now when I'm 50 and start having kids. And no way, no way being young, working through my 20s as an ideal athlete, 30s, through business, getting closer and closer to my 40s now. Bloody hell. And life goes quick, doesn't it? No way. So it's important to understand that the alignment is a must for you because you're just chewing up time and energy that you'll never get back, which is taking away the possibilities of what can be. Look, don't get me wrong, I'll be sitting here going, look, you can do anything if you put your mind to it. And I say that. That's what my father said to me, my mother and father and, you know, there's definitely some heart and soul that needs to go into the work. I've bled for everything I've built up to. And we've. And I'm not the only one. We've got an amazing team. I'm never going to stand on a podium, go, hey, everyone, look at me, I did this. It just doesn't make any sense. And I am humble in that way, incredibly confident of us, our team, the tribe, but very humble individually. You can't just keep going thinking, yep, she'll be right. Like, Jesus, man. Like some of the guys I've spoken to in their 50s just fucking broken. Who wants to try and rebuild in their 50s? Like you can create and build on foundations and set up great things and there's plenty of guys who are successful, so to speak, but at what cost? Like you might be a businessman and you lose everything at 56, but you get it all back and you dominate by 61. Yeah, but you're probably a father who doesn't have any relationship with his kids. You're probably divorced for the fourth time. Like, it's family, self and service. You want to be a high performance father, you've got to dominate all three. That doesn't mean you're in a relationship or you stay in one. Marriage, family, what does that look like for you? Everyone's family is different. You're in a circle, your tribe. How are you leading, nurturing, loving and influencing them self? How are you turning up to be 100 so you can give everything you love and care about 100 service? What is the value you add to the world? You can have all three. So when we're looking at time and energy, you can't just kick back with a lack of alignment between your internal and external realities. And this is what happens when people are either too subjective or too objective. Because if you're very objective inside of your life, there is no emotion that drives you, which means you're more often than not setting the bar too low. Crazy as it sounds, you could be a wizard with numbers, math, magician and all that sort of shit, right? Doesn't matter how methodical you are. A robot. I'm a machine. I'm like a computer system. I can work, you know, 80 hour weeks back to it. That's cool, but where are you going and why? Pillars of progress, Precision and purpose. How well are you doing it? Okay, I'm doing it. Well, yeah, but why are you doing it? You're lost there, right? Good luck. Better luck next time. You can't be too objective because you're losing the meaning of life, the value of life. No wife wants a man just to be a fucking stiff who has no emotions. It's the Viking and the panda. Go back, listen to that episode. You can be both. You can be both. There are times when I'm a Viking and my wife fucking loves it. Shit gets her hot and heavy. There's times when I'm a panda and she appreciates it. She feels more drawn in, more connected to the softer side of me. You can be both. Don't stay as one. You can't live as one or the other. You will fall down. But if you're just subjective all the time, you lose the value and meaning. Just like if you just living in the subjective realm all the time, you lose direction, you lose facts, you lose the data, which means you actually have no idea where you're going and you have no idea where you'll end up. That sort of volatility, that delusional thought process, whether you're optimistic or pessimistic or, you know, whatever it is that protects you for your own security and safety. That's not the answer, man. One day he'll just wake up, he'll be like, fuck, nothing turned out the way that I actually wanted it. It's not, you know, the whole law of attraction thing, just think it and it'll be real. I know there's more to it than that, but thinking, all right, put yourself in a position, start focusing on it, blah, blah, there is truth to that. Like, I get men who come to me and all they focused on and thought about was, you know, the possibilities, right? Past pain or future fear and that position themselves to either be too protective, too overbearing, not the right energy, and they push them away a bit. Like if I always thought, if I thought my wife is going to run off with another man and I just started putting that energy out there and I put it out there and I started fretting on it. All of a sudden, I'm checking her phone, right? She goes out with friends. All of a sudden I'm contacting. Where is she? Is there a guy there? Is there a bloke, what's his name? And I start putting that energy out there. I'm putting it out there and without even fucking knowing, I'm subconsciously creating the environment that's going to create that exact reality. Because I didn't stand up and promote the right energy by saying yes to the love for my wife and, and the connection we have. I say no to it, but I'm saying yes to the possibility and literally forcing her hand in her position to actually remove herself from this toxicity that's now part of her life. And guess what? She goes and seeks counsel with someone else, possibly a man. Isn't it funny? And then we kick back, you know, like we're. What's his. What's his name? Oh, shit, I've bloody forgotten it. The, the. The private investigator. I can't believe it's. It's, it's gone on me. Oh, Sherlock Holmes. There we go. Next thing you know. I didn't look that up, by the way. That's just. Yeah, it came back to me eventually. Getting old. Next thing you know, you're Sherlock Holmes. See, I told you. I knew it. I knew it would happen. The you talking about, man, You've been pushing this shit for 2, 4, 8, 12 years. Of course it's going to happen. That's exactly the reality that you wanted to create. No, I didn't. Why'd you put energy into it? Why'd you focus on it? Because it was inevitable was going to happen. What do you mean? What were you doing so it wouldn't happen? Promoting and pushing the same energy. Of course it was going to happen. That's a soft spot. Like, that's a. You know, I'm not here to trigger you guys. It's just understanding that you can't live in one world of just being objective and you can't live in the other world of just being subjective and thinking that things are going to turn out to be all right, because you become blinded. You have a big blind spot you can't see. You literally cannot see it until after the fact, right? Once the objective data rolls in, and sometimes it comes in by the truckloads because it's been banked there, you've got a delivery, you've got 15 trucks now waiting to deliver and they're going to dump a heap load of shit onto your life and when those facts become real, the mind breaks down, the spirit breaks, the cracks open up. It just becomes a flood. Sorrow, sadness, bitterness, resentment, regret. It's not easy, man. I'm there with you. I'm not talking about just that as an example. That was just an example in the one part. With a relationship, there's some of you might. That might have happened, who knows? But as a whole, I'm with you, man. Like, I get the feelings too. You know what? All day I've been. I've been under the pump with. With different family circumstances with our cars and running around and servicing and got to get some part from Europe. They have the car for another six weeks. We've got three kids, three car seats in one. The. The wild track I have, it only has two car seats, two anchor points. Like, it's just like, all right, we've got three kids. What do we do? And the missus is driving around in a care carnival, man. They're massive. They're beasts. I think it's like an eight seater. That's amazing. I didn't even know you had eight seaters. I got a vasectomy. There's no way I'm having more kids. And I got in the office and I was just feeling shit. I was like, fuck this. Fuck the world, man. I don't want to do a podcast today. Yeah, but how you made that commitment, man, you've been planning this one for a while. Subjectively objective. You got to do it today. You did your Tuesday session. You got one Thursday. You got to try and keep at least two a week. Can't do it tomorrow. Today's the day. And my feelings were really coming up where I was like. And please, I say this. Respect. I know. I've sworn a million times. I don't really swear much. I do on the podcast because I'm just completely raw and open with you guys. But. And it wasn't like a fuck you to you guys. It's like, fuck that. Just, you know, I don't want to do anything. Sorry, I'll rephrase it. I don't feel like doing anything, you know, Just don't. Don't feel like it. Been jerked around today, days lost. It's a lot. Write it off. Just. Just want to go home and train. Fucking start tomorrow. And it's still there, actually. Like, I've actually got this little feeling. It's not. It's not anxiety, but this little feeling in my chest like I want to punch someone's head in. And I shouldn't say That I want to hit a punching bag. I should say that. You know what I mean? I'm not, you know, I don't have animosity towards people. Kill it with love, right? You should see one of the threads. Fuck one of the ads we've got. It's hit nearly a million views, man. The comment thread is insane. Like, it's. There's a lot of funny stuff, but there's some savage stuff. And I'm like, man, these poor guys, they don't even know who I am. If they're casting these, I wouldn't even call them stones. They got the big trebuchet and they're throwing these big boulders at the kingdom of Al and the kingdom of hpf, which is indestructible. I'm like, man, if they're doing this to me and they could be like thousands of kilometers away, they could be in Western Australia. They don't even know who I am. Shit, man. What does that mean for every other area of their life? What are they doing to others they love and care about? What's. You know? So I'm really empathetic towards these men that are the lost, broken, or looking for that. I'm willing to be that. Like, I'm willing to be that outlet. I'd rather them push their rage onto me than onto their children or wives. I do. Because unless they're, you know, knocking on my door at my home, that changes everything. Then with respects, because I'll always protect myself in that manner. Yeah, man. Like these guys need help getting back to the point. Like, I still have that feeling. I'm like, yeah, but you know what, Al? This is a feeling that comes off of pattern because you didn't get the time you wanted today to dominate and perform. Because I am a very high performance man. Like, you give me three hours, I'll give you ten hours of work. Like, I don't fuck around, man. I rip in, like, rip in the volume of work. I've had people financially or perceivably in different, different industries more successful than me. Look at the stuff. And they're like, man, how do you. Like, how are you actually doing that with three kids and. And this? And obviously I have a team that helps me, you know, and they're amazing. But in terms of mentally and physically putting together, I rip in, I don't waste time, I don't muck around. And even then I still have that. But I'm like, yeah, you know what, mate? Even if I have this feeling in my chest where I'm just like, ah, just a bit of a shit day. Feeling a bit off. That's my subjective approach to life today. I'm never going to get the 21st of October, so I was like, no, Al, be a man. Stand up. Well, I'm sitting down, but stand up. Do this podcast. Make it a very powerful podcast. Try and make this the best podcast you can do on October 21, 2021. And then you can be happy and at peace with yourself, knowing that you delivered. Hence, this is why we're here now. I hope this episode serves you well. Yes, feelings follow the facts. But feelings can determine the type of actions that will create the set of facts that you maybe inherently don't even know you want, but you do desire, whether subconsciously or actively aware. I know I gave you a lot, then what I'm saying is, man, you must own your actions. You must own the feelings. Don't push them away, don't push them down. You're human. It's natural. But if something's holding on for 2, 3, 4, 5 days and you know it's something minor, look, there are traumas that can last for years, but you know it's something minor or it's a trigger or a pattern or a person or an environment, you got to change it up. You got to look at the facts. You need to look at the facts that you can now create. You need to first look at the feelings that you desire and go, okay, well, these feelings aren't lining up or they're not the truth with the external reality, the outside world, okay, what are the facts that need to be true? Awesome. What are the actions I need to take to just slowly start moving towards a better outcome, a better set of facts? And then when I review those sets of facts, I can look back and go, hey, I did that. I won. I feel good. I feel significant. I feel a sense of achievement, a sense of contribution. I feel rewarded because I did that. I followed through, I committed, I achieved that outcome. I was part of helping Stella learn to ride her bike. Or it doesn't have to just be you. It doesn't have to just be you. It can be anything with anyone or those three circles. Family, self and service. The subjective is critical, but it's only something. Again, just like the objective portion of your life, it's leverage. These are tools. It's always a tool. The feelings are a tool because they can fleet. Don't let it be a weapon unto yourself. It is a tool for you as leverage to drive home a course of action. Over the time, with energy that will never get back on those two, to create a better set of outcomes and circumstances so that the next now is better. It's like when men pay money to join high performance father. Are you paying? Are you really giving Al money? Like, you pay money to Al and Al's kicking back in his yacht and the Bahamas, just throwing a line in. Like, you're paying yourself. You're invested. It's a financial investment, yes, but you are paying yourself through Allen high performance father, to live a better set of experiences. The future now is to come. Like, think of it this way. You're using time and money, two things we never get back. Very valuable. You're using time. Sorry. You're using time and energy, two things we never get back. Very valuable. You're using time and energy, priceless time and energy to get that money. Cool. Now you'll invest that money so that you can have a fucking great set and a much better level of time and energy in the future because it's priceless. So when you're looking inside of your life, and that's just one example, when I'm talking about the way that we track the data, the way that we work with the man, the way we combine the two, subjective and objective. Everything is leverage. Money is leverage. It's a tool, your subjective reality. So the way that you are influenced, or the way that you do influence, feelings, opinions, viewpoints, perspectives, it's a tool as. It's a tool for leverage. It's something that is to be used to enhance your position in a true and genuine way, just like objective reality. Don't worry about feelings and opinions now. They'll come after. What are the facts? Show me the facts. Let's represent a clear set of A to B, black and whites, Binary, yes or no. This is what life is. It truly is a development of skill sets and using linguistics, using language, words, thoughts, feelings, emotions, terminology, everything. Everything that cooks up in the. In the big. The big pot, the big cauldron that the witch has for Hansel and Gretel. Oh, man. Don't ever tell me to say Hansel. If you see me in person, tell you what, I'll headbutt myself. Life is messy. We all have lists. When you can organize amongst the chaos, when you can leverage, not become a weapon into yourself. When you can prioritize and create tools in your arsenal or create a tool belt with these skill sets, develop who you are as a man, as a husband, as a father. I promise you, mate, you'll win. And One of the best ways to do it is absolutely listening to podcasts like this because it's just a different way. Like, this is what I love, is why I'm the alignment coach. Let me show you a million perspectives. What are we up to? Nearly 150 episodes, yet here we are. Have a look at any episode. Any of them the same? No. Yet fundamentally subjective, objective facts and feelings. Yes or no? Black or white? Yin or yang, Right? He or she? It's crazy, man. Crazy how it's all the same when you go down to the core. But the message is the same. I hate waste. I love growth. Two sides of the same coin. I want to build a real legacy, a true one. You can't have that with waste, with restricting, with constricting yourself with regret. Not possible. Of course there's things I wish I did better, but at the same time, how can I? Because maybe Al's path would have deviated a little bit and you wouldn't be listening to this podcast right here and now. I hope this serves you well. Have an amazing day, night, weekday weekend. Whenever you listen to this, I want you to spend a couple of minutes. How are you going to apply this tool, this lesson, this episode to your life? Spend a couple of minutes. Where am I being too subjectively overpowering in a situation that should not and does not call for it. And I need to actually establish a grounding on the facts first. Even in your relationships, people think relationships are all fluff and love. That's respect, value, stability. What comes with that? Structure, set of facts. Priorities. Leverage. Leverage. Time and energy. When are we doing honey and handsome time? Here, here and here. Okay, cool. This is what we're going to do. I'm going to create a surprise on Thursday, you create a surprise on Saturday. They want to know about it. You run with it. You're the boss. You're the boss. Then I'm the boss. Thursday, when you can get clear, when you have clarity over the subjective parts of your life and the objectives, then all of a sudden you have power. You have the tools in your power to create the change you desire. And when you apply this consistently day in, day out, you have so much more to live for, so much more to give and offer yourself and the world because of the feelings. But you know what? You have offered so much after the fact, after it's done, after leadership is shown. You have offered so much value, so much energy, contributed so much love to the world. Even if the world's your one child, your three children, you and the missus the kids have moved out. You have done this over the long game. Don't get so narrow minded and short sighted. The long game's quicker than you think and when you play it with subjective and objective reality both by your side in your hands, promise you mate, you'll win 1,000 minutes a day. It's a lot. But when you're wasted on shit that doesn't serve you or move yourself or your family forward, you are bleeding the most valuable resource that you and I never get back. How much time do you think you have and how much quality do you think you've had? Don't be a fool like the masses thinking you'll cheat the system or get round to it one day or worse. Just accepting life and sinking back into a slumber of regret. This is your moment, your time. You're cut from a different cloth. You have the hunger and desire to be more and live more. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. So stand up. Find the golden nuggets. In this episode you just listened to and align immediate action with them and where you want to go. You are worthy. This is your life. You are the king and this is your kingdom. Now go and claim it by showing nothing telling and be the real leader. You and I both know you were born to be.