150. Where Your Short Fuse Comes From

This episode is brought to you by our high performance Father coaching program where we help men juggle business, marriage and fatherhood to create the greatest balance and impact life has to offer. This is done with our philosophy that is at the core of achieving these phenomenal results in family, self and service and that is investing in yourself first so you can be a true 100% for yourself, but just as importantly for those around you that you love and care about. If you're a father struggling with choosing between your work work and your family, lacking balance and connection in your relationship, what your children need, your own needs whilst building prosperity in your business, head over to highperformancefather.com fill out the form and I'll have my coaches contact you to see how we can help you and if you're a good fit, what it looks like to join the winner's circle on the inside. But for now, take the time to yourself for yourself and enjoy this episode. Where your short fuse comes from. In this episode we're going to be diving into four key things, four key elements that contributes to you having a short fuse. Now, just before we dive into that, I just want to make it crystal clear on what that actually means because it's very interesting when we talk about triggers and not having the right temperament or nature or you don't have a high threshold to be able to handle the chaos of life. You're listening to this. Most of you. I mean, we get some mothers listening to this and then palming it off onto their husbands, which is great. The more you dive into and immerse in this environment, the more that you clearly see that we are an organization that has absolutely your best interests at heart. By helping you reposition your perspective yourself and having those discoveries yourself, not me, just barking at you and telling you words. You actually exploring the questions, the statements and some of the scopes on how we view things to get out of our own way and go, you know what? I've never looked at it that way, Al. I've never thought of it that way, Al. And instead of just fucking self sabotaging and cutting myself short and pointing the finger at everyone like too many do, because too many do that you don't buy into that world. You start to create your own world or become part of ours, which is one of liberation because you are a leader again. You are a man who's standing up and taking the right actions. You're a man who's aware of himself, whether he's the viking or the panda. You are a Man who understands the ownership, he must take over his own actions and the responsibilities that come with that and the power that comes with that. So when I'm talking about the short fuse, it's not just beating your chest and screaming and yelling and, you know, the kids say one thing and then in 30 seconds, I'm, you know, triggered and blowing my stack. Having a short fuse can be the bitterness and resentment that you hold inside. You don't have to be the big macho man screaming. You could be the man who, okay, you don't like something, you don't have the balls or spine to stand up and talk about it or openly communicate your position when you're standing on it, whether it's your wife or your children or your work or your business and colleagues, which means you absorb all of that and you keep that poison inside of you. And this toxicity becomes cancerous throughout your entire body. And you don't have the ability to dump or express it out through journaling or writing or speaking or expressing that. Not that anyone else should be your punching bag, but you don't have a way to flush it out of your system and close the chapter on that small portion of influence that actually isn't defining who you are and doesn't serve you. Welcome to another episode. This is your host, Al. You know, it's fascinating when we look at this, it's not just a black and white thing. There are so many things that are binary. Yes. But when I'm talking about where your short fuse comes from, short fuse isn't necessarily an action reaction type state where you're raising your finger or expressing some sort of posture towards your children or anyone for that matter. And you've got to be careful of that, too. You absolutely do. You raise a finger, you're only one finger away from raising a fist. Right. And that's a great revelation we had from one of our members, Nath Hitchcock. He works with a lot of children. He said, mate, it's very important, especially in any industry, things like education, teachers. Anytime when you have a position of physical strength or power or height over those around you, mainly kids, you're only one finger away from a fist. So you've got to be careful in how you raise your hand. Even if it has no intentions of striking anyone, the perception on how it's received, because everything is energy from the other person, may not be wholesome and it may be detrimental. So when we're talking about short fuses, it's not just that alone, though, on that point, it's A short fuse to go, okay, bang, this is happening. It's going to completely shift and change me on the inside. Even if I don't express that I'm harboring this now and I'm manifesting this inside of myself to create a level of feelings that then starts to determine and dictate what my reality is. And this is where insanity comes from. It's you harboring and holding onto this perception and belief on your internal reality. But then the external reality doesn't match up. Or neither of those are wholesome, or neither of those are done from a position of going, well, I'm going to be a leader, I'm going to do something about this. I'm going to make sure that I'm going to have a ripple effect. Because not I know best, but because I know that this isn't the place to sit and stay and let things just fester. We can create change, but instead the external reality might be completely different on other people's feelings, perceptions, what's actually literally physically happening. But because you're harboring these feelings, which gives you 100% control. Because feelings can pop up like that, but they're also fleeting. You get frustration and confusion and there's misalignment between your internal and external reality, which means all of a sudden there's breakdowns. Of course that's going to lead to there being a disconnect to anything else outside of your life because you're not matching the internal and the external. You've got to be careful of that, man. Feelings are fleeting. So whilst they might shore up the narrative of creating an illusion of four concrete walls of what you think reality is, and it might make you feel better, it's just as easy to say, you know what these feelings are like an amazing blanket or an igloo when you're out in some sort of fucking blizzard in Antarctica. And guess what? That can be blown away in an instant. And all of a sudden when those feelings are fleeting, you're stuck out in the cold and you're suffering. It's a double edged sword, man. You've got to be careful. But who's wielding the sword? The facts. You are the facts. When you recognize and own that. So four key elements as we're diving into, I'm going to run through four key elements that are the reasons why you have a short fuse more often than not. And then we're going to workshop these very quickly because it won't take long. And then we're going to provide solutions for each one of Those that you can immediately take from this episode and apply with action towards your life. And that's going to yield a massive dividend and roi. And it will give you great returns initially, but also sustainably throughout your life. Because this is the fluidity of these four elements that we're going to cover and how you can apply that to who you turn up as and how you stand up as a man, father, husband, inside of your life every single day. Because you can. It's not a pill or shiny object, a silver bullet. It's something that yields a much greater return on investment immediately and sustainably. Where your short fuse comes from key point 1 vulnerability vulnerability is when you have not created an alignment of who you are on the inside to handle what it is that you face outside. Where does vulnerability come from most? Which puts you in a position of play where you're not actually acting out in the way that you know you should and want to. Early morning, late at night so when we're looking at where your short fuse comes from, vulnerability comes from the times when you are most easily influenced and the times when you are most easily influenced. There's three times, but one of those is the second point. Two of those most important ones are early in the morning and late at night. It's what you're taking through into your sleep which becomes something that is banked in your subconscious for when you rise and shine for the next day. Which means if it's something that isn't wholesome, you're dragging that shit through the mud and you're bleeding into the next day. Man, you're stealing minutes instead of a thousand minutes a day. You might only have 900, 800, 600. Because you're wallowing in the pit of things that aren't serving you. Because of the vulnerability of where your short fuse comes from in something late at night and what you're immersing yourself in, which is a collective of the other three points which we'll dive into. And these are the three points. They definitely influence the vulnerability that you have. But first you must understand where that comes in. Not so much to put your guard up, to put things in place, to create shifts so that you have non negotiables late at night, early in the morning, where you are looking after yourself. That's why social media, using technology and utilizing that to have different points of influence without first shoring up yourself with having a great morning and night routine, can bring you unstuck and destroy the day ahead before it's even started. And that Includes not just the morning of, but the night before. The very first key element is vulnerability. It's when you're most influenced and that is always first in the morning and last thing before bed late at night. Which takes us into our second point, which does influence this as well. And that's the third area where you are vulnerable. Energy. The second key element of why you have a short fuse. At times you've got low energy. So when you're just waking up and trying to prime yourself for the day first thing in the morning, late at night, your energy levels are different. They're not in a steady flow, just like that point somewhere between 2pm and 6pm if you're not looking after yourself, you haven't got your shit organized with your nutrition, your health, your well being, what you're doing with your work, your hydration, all these key things and fundamentals that make you human and help you optimize your health and operate and produce as a human, as a man. Going out and hunting life, you will become more triggered, your fuse will be short because you do not have the physical and mental capacity to handle the jabs that life keeps throwing at you every single fucking day. It's not the big hook, it's not the uppercut, it's not the big haymaker that brings you unstuck, that presents itself because your guards down, you're tired, you're fatigued, you're lethargic. And then that becomes the knockout punch. Why? Because of all those little jabs. Because you don't have the capacity physically and mentally to handle it. Your short fuse comes from not only vulnerability in three key points. That mid afternoon slump, first thing in the morning, late at night, because of the malleability that you have. Like you have a sponge like format where your environment will influence you. And that's the third point. Spoiler alert. But it's your energy, man. You have low energy and you have open paws to receive what it is that you're exposed to. And it's interesting how all of these tie together in not only early morning, late at night, but having a lethargic and cyclical low level of energy every single day. It becomes the Groundhog day. It becomes the spinning wheel. You're the mouse in the spinning wheel of life. And it's just like, fuck man, I just, I can't get out of second gear. Out. Which means if you're trying to go faster, you're redlining and the engine will blow up. I'm not sure how many other analogies you want Me to paint or pictures or metaphors to put inside of your head. But if your energy's low, man, your energy's low. Life is energy. And when you look at life, if you're not a hermit and completely isolated, life is a connection or a collective of connections from which it is an energetic exchange with your children, with your work, your business, your wife, with yourself. Physical and mental energy and realignment comes from creating space, stopping the world, taking time out for yourself just to be purely present, as well as investing in your health, whether it's walking, cycling, running, swimming, training at home, training at a gym, bush, trail, hiking, anything that is giving you a resistance and threshold where you're controlling the adversity, you're controlling the challenge. That's why I love exercise and training, because it's a controlled environment, you're controlling that, but you're creating a threshold above and beyond what you would normally handle for the other 14 to 16 hours of the day, which means the other 14 to 16 hours of THE day is a walk in the park. Being someone who was an elite athlete gave me the capacity to be able to handle what I needed to handle when I was running my gyms and trying to escape and get out of that life as the gyms were failing, because I was putting no more love or attention as well as building this phenomenal movement, as well as fatherhood, as well as marriage, as well as keep my own shit together mentally and physically, because I had the physical capacity and the mental resilience and persistence because of what being an elite athlete gave me for 15 years. I did it, I could do it, and I didn't burn out and I didn't suffer chronic fatigue. I did in periods and I did afterwards because I kept pushing and I had to push. And there's times when we need to grind in life, but life isn't a grind, man. That's a trap or a pitfall. So anyone that talks about the hustle and the grind, or yes, maybe for short pockets or periods of time, but no one survives that. You all burn out. But I had the stamina and the endurance because I had such a high level of capacity, because my energy was high, physically and mentally, you can't have patience and transition from space to space to space to space. Car, work, home, bedroom, bathroom, Kitchen. Work, home, office. Children. Wife, children. Again. Child one. Child three. Child two, Child four. You can't transition like that, man, and hold that temperament, nature and patience. If you don't have a big gas tank to be able to withhold the Good, the bad, and the ugly, that always comes your way. That is a part of your life externally that keeps chipping away at you internally. You don't have that frame. You will fuck up. You will blow your stack. You will have regrets. You will look back and go, yeah, I should have done that better. Could have done this better. When you have high energy, you handle that much better. Third and fourth points are very important. Then we're going to come back and circle back and go, okay, well, how do we. How do we fix this? Al, it's great that you're notifying and spotting up all the problems that I'm currently facing, as we all do. I face them as well. No one's immune to it. How do we actually fix it? Well, we'll circle back to that. Let's get clear on point number three. Environment triggers patterns when you're training your subconscious mind. That's why, you know, what? If you're having issues with your wife and you need to sit down and have a chat, don't sit down and have a fucking chat in the kitchen or the area where you've been fighting or we are chronically triggered because this is exactly what happens sitting on the couch, on the lounge, out on the back patio. Like you are creating psychological barriers inside of us, all of us inside of yourself. Us as human humans and essentially animals. To go, well, this is a place of familiarity to express this type of energy. My fathers who come to me, I want to be the father that I never had to my children now. That's right. So why are you here? Because I find I'm in the pattern of being the father that my father was to me, and I don't want to be that to my children. That's right. Of course you are. Through no fault of your own, man. Like, that's familiarity for you. That's a patterning and conditioning of your entire childhood they're exposed to. Of course you're going to align with that, because subconsciously, without even you knowing, unless you stop and be present and have a session with me and go, hey, I've had this time, or anyone for that matter, or yourself, to sit and reflect and say, oh, I'm actually doing exactly what my old man did, and I resented him for that. Unless you give yourself that space to collectively join those dots and go, oh, this is where I'm heading the same path, history repeating itself. You will repeat yourself of what you were exposed to because it's familiar, which means it brings a level of comfort and control. Sounds crazy. Because it's uncomfortable when you recognize it and you're aware of it. But this is what happens. Just like the missus. If your wife's had a troubling childhood or she's had abusive relationships or other points which has caused trauma inside of her, anytime there's a breakdown which flicks a trigger, if it's environmental or a word you spoke, or the decibels in the voice that you've raised, that's going to trigger the walls going up. Because she's going to go into a place of familiarity of how she handled what it was that she went through. This doesn't mean I'm here to counsel you or sit down and go, what happened when you were four years of age? And all that sort of shit. And I'm not saying that's wrong. I'm just saying we focus on where you are now. Understanding to a level of the pattern that led to where you are now, but then also going, what's more important? What's more important is going, well, this is where we are now, but where are we going? A huge part of that, man, is your environment triggers patterns. So when we bundle in all three of those vulnerability, first thing in the morning, last thing at night, energy, being low, being porous and open, and having that transparency where you can be influenced, and then having an environment which creates those triggers, whether it's an environment through social media, your phone you can dive into and immerse yourself in. Environments that are halfway around the world have fucking nothing to do with you, yet you allow them to influence, control and persuade your emotions and your belief systems. How's that working out for you? It's not that you need to put blinkers on, man, but you sort of do at the same time in terms of processing, filtering, dissolving and cutting the dead wood away from your life that doesn't know you, doesn't understand you, doesn't have your best interests at heart. Why would you continually invest in that? That doesn't make sense. Why? Because of curiosity, because of fear, because of the unknowns, because you think that gives you temporary security, which is an illusion of stability. Because now you know you've acquired that knowledge, you've watched that, you've seen that. The news told me this. I mean, fuck, if it's important enough. Don't worry, mate, you'll eventually find out this is the point when you are allowing yourself to be vulnerable with low energy, immersed in an environment that creates triggers, patterns, or have something that doesn't have your best interest at heart. You will have a short fuse. You will be someone who reacts to life, not creates in life. And then you will build that into your subconscious where that becomes a pattern where that's all you know, that's all you do. And when you have somewhere between, it's a pretty big range, somewhere between 30 to 90,000 thoughts a day. Who do you think's really running your life? Is it you? It fascinates me when I see people who forfeit their free will with the exact thing they've used to forfeit it, their free will. Like, isn't that a funny thing? Like you're using your free will to forfeit your free will. Like, the irony of it, man, it cracks me up. I want you to think about that. Where have you done that? Where you currently do that? Where are you currently doing that? Or where have you done that inside of your life instead of being a critical thinker and going, okay, well, how did this get here? What's embedding itself in this? Do I have the fight and the gusto in me to get after it and change and be resilient and perform at a higher standard? Well, now you've got low energy. No, you're vulnerable. You're not looking after your morning night routines. Now you're investing in shitty environments that don't care about you or give a fuck. How do you think that's going to turn out for you? And then whose environment are you controlling and influencing your children's? So what do you think they're getting? This is a really interesting point that I want to make. In the evolution of what we continually pursue as, as our high performance father program grows and continually just creates massive leaps and bounds and results and transformation for fathers, it's looking your fucking children in the eyes and going, you are getting the best. And I well up sometimes when I think about this because I know that's not the truth for so many children. And you're fucking cutting them down, man. What hope do they have? What chance do they have in life when any of those opportunities have been fucking destroyed because of the environment they were thrown into that you control and influence that has already cut them short before they even get a shot, before they even get a chance. It's hard, I get it. But I'll tell you what's harder. Laying back on your deathbed going, I'm fucking sorry and I'm filled with regret. Both now and then will be the same place, the same thing. It'll be the now, it'll be this present moment. Whether it's 10 years, 10 months, 10 minutes. You know, I can't stand that. And I'm not judging a man for who he is. It's a judgment of actions. And if it's an action that continually is repetitively and viciously one of fucking weakness and fear and not standing up as a real fucking man and taking ownership over your life and going, I will do something about it. And you know what, son? You deserve the fucking best. And I'm going to give you the best for your son, your daughter, your children. If that isn't a big enough driver for you, man, I don't know what is. And yes, I can dive into different perspectives, but I don't fucking want to, mate, because none of them lead to a higher level of excellence, growth and leadership than the one I just explained. The greatest way you can stand up and look your fucking children in the eyes and go, you are getting the best. I'm giving you the fucking best. You are getting the best because the hat that goes on your head goes on your head because you're standing up as the best fucking man that you can. Which takes me to the final point. Expectations, vulnerability, energy, environment and expectations. How can you have a level of patience and fortitude inside of yourself if you are loosely casting expectations of others and not just their standards? There's nothing wrong with having agreements, of course, but expectations of the outcomes of others if you're not even holding yourself to those standards. Because an expectation quickly becomes an assumption. And that's a dangerous thing for you and me and especially for your children who are on the receiving end of that. An expectation, like, by definition, it's a strong belief that something will happen or be the case, something should be achieved. The belief that someone will or should achieve something, but the something is an action. There's no guarantees on life. So for me, yes, I've got an expectation of my actions, I've got an expectation of standards, I've got an expectation of integrity and how you're delivering those actions and standards and what they mean. But in terms of an expectation, look, I didn't expect, you know, high performance father to be worldwide tomorrow. And we've got 500 million lucky, you know, 500 million people know who we are. You will lose. You're in fantasy land. You're trying to control the uncontrollables instead of controlling the controllables. So when you're saying yes to things that you can't even control, you're saying no to the things that you can, of course, you can influence that but what are you trying to influence? So when you get shitty and short fused and short tempered by having an expectation of the outcomes of your children without first aligning agreements, first investing in them, first putting in the repetition, just like you would with walk, you're going to walk 10,000 steps, okay, maybe you'll need to tell the kids to pick up their toys. 8, 10, 12, 15, 20, 30 times. Welcome to the real fucking world. You create an expectation. It should be once. Why? Because in your head as an adult, you can do it. Or maybe a 6 year old doesn't have a 44 year old's head. So maybe it's going to take her a little bit of time or take him a little bit of time to process it and reorganize a habit. Because you know what? You've had a few more thousand days on this earth than he or she has. How about a bit of perspective there? And yes, it's baffling because we'll see our children do phenomenal things. And you put together the mental capacity to execute and be like, that's incredible. That's crazy how they can just sequentially knock over those dominoes and dominate this little area of sport or educational. But they can't even pick their toys up. They're fucking children, mate. Everything's still being rewired. And guess what? The same happens even if your children are adults. They're 18, 20, 24, 26. Think back to what you were doing in your 20s. Did you have it all made? Of course you didn't. Even now no one does. Like it's, you know, I know, I swear a bit when I'm passionate. But we're all fucked up. That's a great thing because you remove the expectations or the pedestal approach that you need to be perfect or someone needs a perfect or no one makes mistakes or you don't make mistakes anym. Okay, cool. So you're on your big fucking high horse, pointing fingers at the kids because you don't make as many mistakes as you used to. Well, you used to, didn't you? Short fuse is around perspective. Yes, there's chemical imbalances need to be reorganized. That comes from vulnerability. Morning night routines, energy, looking after your health. So you've got a bigger gas tank to be able to handle the stress environment. Yes, of course. Repatterning and reprogramming your subconscious. Yes, of course, they're all important. But expectations, man, if you're not careful, that'll turn into assumptions. And you assume your children should just have their shit organized an Assumption is a thing that's accepted to be true or it's certain to happen. That's an assumption. This is certain to happen. This will happen. But there's no proof. You're assuming it will happen, but without proof. Because you're making an assumption on something that is to be true after the fact, but the fact hasn't come yet. That's like saying, yeah, I'm just going to lose three kilos. We haven't lost three kilos yet. I'm going to lose a kilo by Sunday. Yeah, well, Sunday's not here yet, mate. Like, it's what we call a lag measure. It's after the fact. Just like leadership. I'm not going to look at you and go, look at that man, he's leading. I'm going to look at you and go, look what that man did for the week. He organized honey and had some time with the missus. He took ownership over his flaws and what he needs to course correct in the. The energy he brings to the household. He had an amazing experience with his kids. He made sure he ate well at least four days out of the seven, and he went for two walks and hit a couple of training sessions. That's a leader. That's a man who's leading in family, self and service. You can't recognize that until you recognize that after the fact, after it's done, it's history, man. So you've got to be careful about that because you're painting the history to be without it actually being expressed or lived. And when you do that with things you don't control, but yet you do influence. So there becomes this disarray or this fine line or gray area, AKA your children. You will become disappointed. And when you have multiple disappointments, you then naturally express that energy in a primal way to your children. Your attitude, your nature, the tone of your voice, your posture, your presence, your attention. Like, don't sit here and tell me that you're connecting with your children when you've got a fucking phone in your hand where you're trying to deliver orders or talk to them or say things or do things, things with them when they can see hands down and on top of that they can feel hands down, that they are not getting those vibrations and frequencies and that energy source from you. Because unfortunately, mate, like the rest of the world, you just become a fucking liar. And this is the frustrating part, but this is also a pretty heavy truth. We've all lied. We've all lied. No one's. No one's Told the complete and honest truth from the day they were born to the day they die. But the world is full of chronic lies, man. They yap these words from their mouth and it never lines up with the actions or the truth. And they lie so much, so frequently that to discern lies from truth becomes impossible. Because there is no comparison. How could there be only an illusion that most carry to their deathbed, throwing their hands in the air when life wasn't fair with this short tempered, short fused nature? Appreciate the words, Al. Hopefully you do. I'm speaking on your behalf to myself. Appreciate the words. What do we do then, man? How do we like. I'd love some pointers. Well, you know, I'd love some too, which is why we're here. Because if I don't reflect on my own actions, guess what? I become a fucking liar. I become a hypocrite, right? It's why we're here. To continually align with the world that we can create. Not just I, not just you. We. How do we lengthen the fuse? But most importantly, never light it. Vulnerability. Morning, night routines. As soon as you wake up in the morning, get some good hydration in you. Don't jump for the coffee. I love coffee. I have coffee. But make sure you hydrate your body first. I throw electrolytes in mine. Electrolytes are critical to life. It's not Gatorade or an energy drink. It's awesome getting that in the water. I have my mojo, obviously, which is great. And I have some my vitamins, vitamin C and D. So first thing, you want to wake up, nice big glass of water, throw my mojo in there, vitamin C, and I'm away. Morning routine. Steer clear of social media for at least 15 minutes. Like give yourself 5 minutes, 10 minutes, just wake up first. You know what it's like. Whether you've had a great sleep or not. You're always going to wake. Groggy's not the word, but you're always going to wake. Vulnerable and susceptible to just reacting and being in animal mode of fight or flight if something comes into your environment very quickly. So ease into the day and that easing into the day can be 15 minutes. Nothing. The kids wake up and they're crazy or they want to play. They can relax, you can read with them, or you can have your own time. You can go for a walk as soon as you wake up. You can do some stretches, you can write some journaling. Just write four sentences. Whatever's going through your head, you can't write as quick as you think. It's a beautiful process to slow down life. That's why I love journaling. It's phenomenal. Give yourself that time in the morning. Have any hydration, whatever nutrition you want to accompany with that. Do some breathing to prime yourself, couple of seconds in through the nose, explosive out through the mouth. Just priming, priming the body, sparking the nervous system firing and everything up. Getting ready to go on your terms. Not sparking the nervous system through a reactionary state in what you're exposed to with social media. Get your hydration up. Just focus on you. I'm here, I'm breathing, I'm alive. My eyes are looking at something. That means I'm still alive, I'm still here. And set your framework for the identity that you choose to be for the day. This is the crazy part. Every year you've got 365 opportunities to choose who you want to be. Isn't that amazing? Do it well, do it properly. Do it first thing. And then at night, decompress, man. Like, that's why I love. We have our Night Rider, which is phenomenal for chemical health and good sleep patterns and quality. But our nighttime tea hit the sack. You can get this on our. We've got our dad Strong store. You type in dad Strong Australia, it's all there. But that nighttime tea is phenomenal, man. Yeah, it's so good. Like organic. Amazing quality, puts you in a great sleep, but it's a good nighttime routine. It's a good way to connect for 10 to 15 minutes with the missus or even with the kids. We get a lot of members who. Their kids take it now their wife takes it. It's awesome. Hit the sack. It's a pretty cool name as well. So nighttime tea, I mean, that's what I do. You need to decompress. What am I doing? Is it reading? It's definitely not high levels of technology or blue screens. You know, the blue light that can just really impede. I'm not saying you have to wear blue light glasses, although I have those. But you got to look after what you're exposing. Your eyes, your sensory perceptions to what you're doing in looking after your chemical health, how you're winding down. So obviously no food two hours before bed. You don't want to heat up your body. You want to bring your body into a cooling state. It's going to give you a nicer body temperature and resting heart rate, which puts you into a better state of sleep. So a couple of these key things, it's not going overboard to help you just decompress, wind down and have closure, you need to open every day, open the doors of life, morning routine and you need to close the doors, closure and rest. Like a third of our life's asleep, man. So when you couple that with you know, 15 minutes before, 15 and a half an hour before, 15 and a half anhour after, essentially a third of your life plus a little bit I guess in your morning and night routine. So maybe just over a third of your life is what creates the difference in the other 2/3. It'd be fair to say it's 35% of your life. That really is fuck all to really think about in terms of what you need to do is going to create massive ROIs on the other 65% of your life. That's how you square that one away. Energy. Of course, what I just said there, morning night routine is going to assist that. But you got to move the body man. Nourish the body, move the body, restore the body. That's what we say. But in terms of nourishing movie we just spoke about restoring, nourishing and moving. You got sore knees, you need to do some stretches and mobility routine, something for you, get a foam roller, something for you for five to eight minutes where you're really just focusing on yourself and being aware of your body. That's why I love the yoga that we do with Pete Mulholland. He's a legend. He's 60 something year old man who's just straight down the line as Aussie as it comes, which is cool. It's not music and incense and bikinis and commercialized yoga, it's hey man, do you actually fucking understand and know your body? Can you think about your knee and can you look at your knees and say there are my knees, there are fucking hair follicles on my knees. Like this isn't woo woo crazy stuff. How often have you actually just looked at your hand like I am right now and going, look at these fucking lines. Like that's a unique pattern. My fingerprints are pretty fucking unique. I mean have a look at them. Look at those little grooves. Look at your fingernails. This is what it's about, just complete presence. Which is why not flogging yourself. But having some good low level exercise is awesome. Walking is great. Just being present in nature, creating space for yourself, doing you fishing, artwork, Lego, whatever it is man. Get your energy topped up with not only the chemical, the greatest drug in the world, which is food, getting your chemical balances sorted, but also your physical well being, awareness and mental rejuvenation, which is creating space for yourself. So in terms of looking after energy, physical, chemical and emotional health, that's looking after your body with what you put in it, looking after your body with what you do with it, and looking after your body and mind with how you continually rejuvenate it by creating space and time out for yourself. Could be a 10 minute walk, twice a week, something, man, you got a thousand minutes a day. If you can't give yourself 1%, which is 10 minutes, then you're not giving yourself any fighting chance. Environment triggers, patterns, be aware of them and then change them. Change what you do in them or change the environment where you will do the same thing, where you need to have a stern talk or you need to do something or create different experiences with the family or what you're investing in, whether it's your home, office, your work, your car, you can put some Post it notes in your car. Just get a Post it note and write what's my mitt for the week? What's your most important thing? Write that down. This is what I need to execute on this week. What's the most fucking amazing thing in my life? You could write your family, you could stick a picture of your kids. When you do things like motivational mindset things. Look, I've got on my whiteboard here Michael Jordan. Why would I think about missing a shot I haven't taken yet? Phenomenal saying love it, but it's already there. So I stopped looking at it because I wrote it fucking months ago. So you need to continually change up the stimulus. If you're all into the motivation and mindset things, having a whiteboard, putting something on your fridge, creating a different trigger, a new trigger with new environments, or a new trigger in the same environment or a new environment that can alleviate or dissolve the current. Triggers that are pulling you unstuck to be someone who's short fused. And just to help you recollect yourself when it was earlier in 2020, we had to have little stickers and go through obviously the scans and the CH and everything to go into hospitals. I got a little sticker when Kryn's grandfather, we were one of the last ones to see him when he was coherent, before he went south pretty quickly, 94 years of age. We were the last ones to see him before he declined and passed away early, well mid last year. And when we went into this hospital to see him and say our farewells, we got a little sticker and the little sticker has a little smiley face. Drawn on it. And that's on my car. I put it right on the visual screen that you do. Climate and radio and all that sort of shit on the car. And I stuck it right on this. Every day I walk in the car, I look at that and I see that and I'm like, I'm going to die one day. Maybe I'll hit 94. I'll be blessed if I do. I'd love to get anything over 80 and beat the averages. I think it's 81.7 for a man. But I look at that, I'm like, pop's gone, he's dead. I mean, the energy source that has created who is, is obviously somewhere else. Who knows what the answer is to that? But life is temporary, man. You think you have time. How, how much? Why? Because you're here now listening to this. It's not a case of you have time. It's a case if you are using time right now. But you're also the creator of what you do. You are the creator of time. It's a metric we use to gauge rhythms, cycles and changes in the universe. The end. That's all it is. It's a construct. So that creates a shift in my environment by having that little sticker with a smiley face in my car. And look, I'm like, fuck, man, it's, you know, life is a gift. These are all the little things that just lengthens the wick. It puts the lighter back in the glove box. You don't come out, you don't light that wick. You're not short fused because you're realigning and leveraging your environment and what you expose yourself to in the environment with sight, sound, smell, touch, you know, all that sort of stuff. Taste to a degree, that's energy and nutrition, but still it's your environment, it helps. And then expectations, man, don't, don't have an issue. Like I don't have an issue with you having standards and an expectation of your own standards and setting those. But be a real leader. Like leadership isn't a done, you know, it's not a set and forget. It's not a done for you. It's not a one off. It's a continual work in progress. Life is a process. So have that same approach with those that may not be in the position that you are, you know, and it's not to downplay again or put myself on a pedestal, but because of my experience and what I've done with so many men and fathers, and because of my ability to listen and listen very well. I've got a fucking amazing amount of perspectives to adopt. Any approach to go to align immediately. Is that fear, is that leadership, growth, death, what is that like? I can do that in an instant, man, and flick those switches. I fucking love having that perspective and I've earned that right. Like it's a skill set. I've worked very hard, I've bled a lot, I've had a lot of trauma and I've come out of that to create triumphs, to have that right to play and play well. That doesn't mean I look down on people who can't see things the way that I see things that are going to ultimately enhance their way of living, to create a legacy for themselves and their children. Because they can be an absolutely amazing type of and leader in this life. But they don't quite see it yet. But I do. I don't belittle or look down on anyone for that. Just because I can see it. And you might not be able to see it yet, that doesn't make me any better. But it's also something that I try and help and lead and influence. Just like this podcast here. For you to see that inside of yourself because you can. I'm not special. I can. You can too. Some people don't want to see that as well. One of our ads has seen nearly a million views and man, the comments on there are savage, savage, savage. They don't know who I am and they have no fucking idea about what we do. So how could I take that personally? I feel for them because their perspective and pattern is stuck in one of a victim. Like imagine that being so short fused that you're abusing a man who is trying to help you. Like think about that. How do you think that is going to carry through? What do you think these sorts of men do to their families, their children? It's sad man, but you can't stay there. You can't live there. I can see that perspective and I can understand the why. Life is full of injustices, man. We're going to do a whole episode on this. You don't get out what you put in. You don't that whole fucking Iron man or Nutrigrain or whatever, that's wrong. You don't. You and I know that. But we're fucking men. It's what we're here to do. You're born to lead. Sometimes you're gonna have to do a 7, 8, 10x effort just to get a 1 return, maybe a 2x return. Sometimes you get a 0x return. That's fucking life, man. Dust yourself off. What are you gonna do about it? Rise up, go again? And then there's diminished returns. The outcome comes and then the outcome trickles. And then, like I said, you don't get out what you put in. That doesn't give you any right to have a short fucking fuse and then destroy your life and those that you love and care about. Even more expectations, man. Don't let that become assumptions to the point where you can't just look at yourself in the mirror first and go, well, am I seeing it from their point of view? What about their perspective? Your children, they're going through their own shit. Have a think about when you went through puberty. Like, when I was going through puberty and I was fucking jerking off and shit and learning about all that sort of stuff, I had no fucking idea what I was doing. Like, think about it. Not to sound gross or anything, but when you start twisting the ears off it, it's a pretty strange fucking. You're like, what the fuck is this? Why am I even doing this? Doesn't make any sense. This feels weird. This feels strange. Like, I remember when I first celebrated. I went to my brother, I'm like, fuck, Tim. Fucking got me first pube. I started getting pubes. It was hilarious, man. Like, I. Look at that, I'm like, like, this is crazy stuff. Look at your children when they're going through puberty. Like, think about the chemical changes, the hormonal changes. I look back then, I'm like, man, I'm fucking. I can't believe we're actually here. And a lot of you know what I'm talking about as well. Think about all the risks we used to take. Yeah, there's times where I would just leave home and then I'd be out for 12 hours riding the pushy around, going, Getting in fights and punch ons, and then getting other kids that would be bullying and pushing me around. I'll go get my brothers, but they weren't around, you know, get nailed. It's just, man, it's crazy. Like, it's so crazy. Point is, your kids have their own shit they're working through. Just because they can't articulate or communicate it to you doesn't mean it's not happening. Same with your wife. Same with your workers, colleagues, businesses. These hard times, strangers on the street. Someone cuts you off, someone abuses you. Someone abuses me on my ads. I don't judge them for it. I feel for the men. They're Hurting. If you're listening to this now though, you have a phenomenal opportunity to turn it around. Maintain the expectations and standards of yourself. But follow through as a leader. And I'll tell you what. Create a new set of expectations on how you're going to help others raise their expectations and standards. Don't enforce yours onto others. Help others lift their own. That's how you do that. I hope this episode serves you well. Where your short fuse comes from is vulnerability. Not investing in yourself and having an influenced environment that exposes you you to not what is in your best interests. Energy is low. Lethargic. Look after that. Nurture yourself well by understanding that you are the alchemist. Your chemical health, your emotional health, your physical health. Getting that big gas tank of environments. Create new environments. Create new triggers. Retrain your subconscious. Do things that are going to position you to remember. Stickers, post it notes, fridge magnets in your car. Whatever it takes. You don't need a million answers. You only need one. Expectations. Be a real leader. But helping others raise their own standards and expectations, not just willfully enforcing it onto them to create a disconnect and breakdown. Because guess what? They're going through shit too. And when your kids have a short fuse or someone else you love and care about, where do you think that's come from? Because you're the man. You are here to lead. The question is, are you leading or are you lagging? Are you a leader? Are you a fucking leech? Stealing from others to shore up your own position of authority instead of helping them blossom and having that ripple effect to what they can do because of what you're doing. You don't need to go through life with a short fuse and think that you have to bury it in the sand, sweep it on the rug or hide it to the point where one day the monster comes out. That because you still believe subconsciously that it's always there. Lengthen the wick like I said and throw the fucking lighter away. And do that by taking ownership and control and applying these four key elements to your life. Investing in yourself and looking after yourself, man. It's your life. You're important as well. Don't forget that. Invest in yourself when you're most vulnerable and transparent and open to be influenced. Look after your energy levels, create the right environment and influence that. And make sure you really understand what an expectation is and where it should be applied. And don't assume. Don't create assumptions and just My kids drive me nuts sometimes, man. Like don't get me wrong, it's three kids. You know, it's savage. It's damage control at times, but it doesn't mean that I blow my stack. They drive me crazy on the inside. But then every time I put Lily into bed for the 18th time because she keeps coming out, you know, I give her the firm, go to sleep and all that. So. And then I walk out just laughing, shaking my head, going, man, she's so crazy. You got to flip that switch, take it easy. Like, you got to find times to take it easy on others, man. It's life. Life's life is life. It's not all rainbows and smiles, but we can certainly create that pathway towards fulfillment, better experiences and love and leadership and growth if we focus on what's most important and keep our eye on the prize. And that's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this episode and got some golden nuggets with possibly one or two aha moments as well. If you truly loved and enjoyed what you listened to, then I want to invite you to share this episode with someone who you know needs to hear this. It could be your brother, friends, colleagues, your uncle, even your wife. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that none of us are alone in the hardships we face. But the solution to getting back on top, winning can start with a gift from someone else. And that gift could be an episode like this because another man transformed is another family saved, which is exactly what we're all about, thriving and winning in life. There is no alternative. It's possible. It has been done. It can be done, so it should be done. I appreciate your support in spreading this message. Cheers, mate.