156. Statesmen Leading The Way

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement podcast. The point and purpose of these episodes, as always, is to have a point and purpose towards helping you win the second half in life by building a path of becoming the best father, husband, man and member of your community that you can be. We do this with various ways of connecting. Life is connection. And as you hear these words spoken time and time again, know that the driving force of connection in life is energy. Which means that how you turn up as a father, as a husband, as a valued member of society will always start and end with how you turn up as a man within yourself first. This is why it's my mission, my purpose, our mission, our purpose through Real Dad Movement to inspire, motivate, educate and guide you into thoughts, feelings, actions and a change in your belief systems to rise up, cut the shit from your life and live and leave a real legacy. When dads win, everyone wins. And when you win, I win. Let's get moving forward, mate. Right here, right now. Welcome to another episode. We have here in our podcast a special guest. He has, not too long ago become a member for Life. We've got Mr. Chris Head joining us. Chris, thanks for joining us, mate. Good to see you again, regular mate. We got a. Well, it was nearly 14 months ago we had you on, but it's been. Yeah, I think it was October. We just. We just said before October last year, but we might have to just get you on every week from now and we'll just cut Ken. We'll piss Ken off, Chris. And you can be. You can replace him.

I can't match that, mate. Although we can learn a lot from Ken. I'm keeping a track on that because being in that age group, or actually a bit older than Ken, but, yeah, really keen watching what information comes from there. So, yeah, for us older gentlemen, not like you young Vikings, the old, the.

Statesman, the elder statesman, we.

Sounds better than pensioners, isn't it?

Yeah, that's right. You know what I thought about cracks about. We're not even talking about the episode yet. We're just chewing the fat and talking shit. But I'm sure guys will have a laugh. But in. In my gym that I used to run, I thought of bringing a program in, Chris, and I was going to call it Fossil Fit. I was like, it's such a cool name. And I thought that's probably not really a big bit of an insult to the. Not. Not like you like people in their 70s, older people. We had a lot of older people inquiring. I'm like Fossil Fit is a really cool name, but I'm like, I don't know how well it would work. Would that be an insult? Would it be received? Well, I don't know.

Sure. Most people would have a laugh.

That's right. Well, you know, what with replacements and whatnot, it is like the dinosaurs, mate. There's bones that are missing and. But no, look, Ken's amazing, mate, you know, they don't call him Ken FM for no reason whilst he speaks many words. They're of high quality and value and it's a pretty exciting space actually. Chris, I love having you and I think we've got probably just over 20, actually, the father's in there in their 50s who are part of the tribe and it's awesome, mate, because you know when we've got high performance grandpa, when we've got real grandpa movement in shit, this is. Yeah, Guys are going to be listening to this guy. What the fuck are these guys talking about? I want to get some value, I want to get some mindset on you.

Don't worry, it'll work out, it'll work.

It'Ll work out, it'll work out.

We all get there.

That's right. Some of, some of the younger guys listening to this, you'll blink and man, you'll be Chris's age. The question is, are you standing up as a real leader like Chris is? Sorry, I don't like swearing a lot but you know, it's just, it's awesome to be part of your journey, Chris, it really is. You've been with us for around that 18 month mark now and we did do a podcast when you recently joined because of, I guess, the stepping stones that led to you connecting with us and some of some pretty hard stuff you've been through. And this is what, you guys listening to this or watching it? You know, I'm not going to say Chris nearly died, but maybe he did, but he went through some pretty heavy stuff and I'm sure you're painting the picture better than me, mate. I think you might have been late 40s or just before 50 or maybe just on 50, but anyway, we'll go through that where you guys are going to see this bloke and go, shit, man, what is it that makes Chris head tick? Like, why did he decide to go? This is where I'm going to go instead of unfortunately, like I said to you, off air, Chris, so many people, when they go through traumatic experiences, they go into a shell, they literally, literally go into a cocoon and they're just it's like they're already dead, mate, but they haven't been buried, you know, And I mean that with respect. We all have hardships, but some things in life are binary, mate. Yes or no, you're going to do something about it. You know, your life was in a position where it was. There was a threat, you know, it was. Was a health issue and there was a heart issue. And what are we going to do about it? Are we going to rise up and create changes or just, you know, walk the line with heavy meds and, you know, in a line of whatever's going to be the most safest or securest, which takes away the life of living. It's just awes be part of your journey, mate. And you becoming a member for life now and being a man who's just so engaged, like, it frustrates me, mate. I know we'll dive into obviously your story, but a lot of guys like, I'm not tech savvy or this or this or that. It's like guys like yourself in their 50s, like, you're figuring out a way and continually innovating your own perceptions on things in your mindset, your skill set to develop points of connection that gets you the result. And just like some of the things that we're working through now with the gadgets and the tech side of things, you're always involved and engaged in the tribe and a true leader, mate. But welcome to another episode, mate. I love having you on board, you know, and it's just great to be part of your journey. But for those who might have missed, that, I think was episode 70 from memory. I'd love for you to just share a little bit of background about yourself and your family life, where you've come from and whatnot. And then we'll work through, obviously, the traumatic experience you went through and where you are now.

Yeah, sure, Al, no worries. Well, everyone knows that once you hit 50, it's downhill from there, and it nearly was. It was basically six months after turning 50 that I had a heart attack and I had a full blockage of the right coronary artery. So if I didn't have help around me, I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you now. So I was lucky I was at home and not away at a fishing trip or a camping trip or those sorts of things that I like to do with family around me and being in Canberra, lucky quick response with, with the ambulance and. And actually had a paramedic in the next suburb in a quick response car that got there before the ambulance and wired me all up and yeah, got me ready for the ambos and straight in, straight to theater and to a full blockage. So I was never coming out of it. And I remember the surgeon saying to me, don't worry mate, all the pain will go away. And sure enough, whatever they did put it in, two stents in and the pain all went away. And yeah, had had sort of a, a week in hospital and that was a traumatic week in itself. It was the, the week at the Canberra hospital had a fire in their main switchboard that killed all their power in, in a lot of. The lot of the hospital. So I was actually glad that I was in the day before. Not glad that I had a heart attack, but glad I was in the night before because it had been the next night. There might have been some issues with the theaters and that with power and that to it. But yeah, so, yeah, it was a close call and out the other side of it now, you know, four or five years down the track and going strong. But I suppose my background, born in South Australia, spent 10 years of my life on a farm. I was a farm boy. And then the parents sold up and moved to Canberra which was a good move for us as a family. And yeah, basically did my primary and high school in Canberra was over school, didn't want to do any more schooling. Well, didn't want to go to college. So applied for apprenticeships and so forth and basically became a sparkie most of my life and moved up into construction maintenance and then security buyer and. And fm. So the role I'm in now is I'm a building manager for an organization. I've been in the same role now for just on 18 years. So yeah, and over, over that time, got married, had two kids. I've got two girls now. Well, two young ladies that are 24 and 27 I think now, all out doing their own thing. But during that period in the early days, got married, had kids. I was married for 13 years roughly and then went through a divorce and the kids moving away from Canberra, which was pretty tough, doing a halfway trip between here and the coast for a period of time. Luckily I had a good boss and I could get time off early on a Friday, get down, pick the kids up, have them for the weekend and back again and all that sort of stuff that you've got to do. So that was pretty traumatic period of my life. And for the kids, you know, it took them out of sport. In hindsight, you know, should you have done it? If I Knew more, maybe not because the kids missed out on a lot of sport and things that I see fathers in this group doing with their kids now that I sort of missed out on that period of their life, sort of between I say 12 and 17, I suppose, where they couldn't interact in sporting and those sorts of interactions and club groups, which would have stood them up better for their life going forward now sort of thing because they were very good at sport, but that's the way it went. So we're doing the best we can. Had my oldest daughter move in with me when she turned 17. Did the last two years of high school, yeah, high school, college, sorry, 11 and 12 and then she stayed in Canberra and work got real busy through that time and through the stresses of the divorce and new relationships and the children and those sorts of things, you sort of didn't look after yourself. Eating the wrong foods, drinking far too much, more stress. You know, you get home and the first thing you reach for is, you know, a drink and, you know, sort of weight piled on through my. And in my early apprenticeship, I didn't say this last time we had a podcast, but in my early apprenticeship years I actually had a back injury pulling cables in a cable pit where a cable come flying out and I hit the back of a concrete pit and basically had a bulging disc. So on a couple of discs in my lower back. So through that period of my children and marriage, three or four times a year I'd be laid up for, you know, a week because it had flared up. I'd picked up one of the kids wrong or picked something up wrong and put my back out. Was going to Cairos and physio and knocking down the neurofen and all that sort of stuff. So yeah, there was a lot going on until I put on the weight. I hit about, I think when I had my heart attack, I was up around the 95, 98 kilos. I'm only 170 centimeters tall. So yeah, I was putting it on. So I wasn't going and happy to buy trousers. I was going, I was looking for the next size up. It was more comfortable. Instead of thinking, hey, something's not right here, I should be going the other way. And yeah, until I had the heart attack and a good story, yes, I survived it and then out the other side, it was sort of a light bulb moment where I was doing fishing competitions at the time. And we just booked a trip to Canada, Wendy and I and I joked about it being that we made this large, huge payment on our, on our trip. And that's what put me over the edge to have a heart attack. And I remember Wendy came in every day to see me in hospital and said, have you asked the doctor whether we could still go to Canada? Because I had the heart attack, I think was in March or April and we were due to go to Canada in June, June or July for a month. And every time she came in to see me. Have you asked the doctor yet whether we can go? No, no, no. I think it was the second or third day she came in and said, no, I haven't asked him, but I can go on my fishing trip. That was before the trip away. You know, I can go to my fishing competition, which I think was about a month before we were due to go away. She threatened not to let me out of hospital until she had it from the doctor that we could go on that trip. So which we did do. And I actually, I actually survived the trip better than her. Some of the hiking that we did, I thought it was her that was going to have the heart attack and had to go in an ambulance rather than me. So, yeah, light bulb moments. So I really took seriously the rehab, the cardio rehab that the hospital had for free. So he was going a couple of times a day, a couple of times a week to the hospital for a checkup, exercising, and they'll monitor you as you're exercising. And you know, they had guest speakers to do with your medication, your nutrition, exercise and what you should be doing. And I took that on quite seriously prior to going away. When we got back, we did a lot of exercise while we were away. Once it got back, heading into that Christmas period, old habits start to creep in. Starting to eating and drinking too much through to January, I think it was that year. And I just said to the missus in January, look, this isn't working. You know, we're going for walks and things like that. I said, but it's not working for me. I've got to do more, I've got to do more. So I took on a PT at Club Lime here for a period of time, which was really good. That put me back into it. And then over a period of time it dropped off. It dropped off, it dropped off. Got rid of the pt, tried to do it myself. Stress has started coming up again. Stress at work, some stresses in the family with a family member. That was starting to play on me until there was a bit of a, an emotional blow up which really hit me really hard. And I had to go and have some counseling around that because I'm not. I'm not a person that takes conflict very well. I'll crawl back into my man cave, I'll blow up and then I'll crawl into my man cave, you know, and think about it for a bit. So I did have some counseling. And during that period of time, I was looking for some supplements and I had been using supplements for Dr. Gundry, which is. He's got his Vital Reds and different things for cardio and that sort of thing. He's got some good stuff. Good stuff. So I was actually on the Vital Reds and Vital Blues and some of his other products. And it was taking a long time to come and it was right in that period. And I wanted something in the interim because it was taking so long to come, coming out of the States. And that's when I. That's when I come across the RDM ad for your supplements, your mojo and Light Rider, and started looking into what that was all about. And basically I reached out to you, Al, and the rest is history.

Isn't that fascinating? Mate, the supplements, that's shit. Imagine when we properly launch our skincare range, Face of fathers be getting all the. All the aging models reaching out. I just want to look young and beautiful still. Al. I'm just kidding. Oh, mate, that's great. Share and insights and what, what an opener, Chris. You know, like, even the back injuries, like that sort of shit's crippling, man. Like for guys at certain stages of life, it's not. It's not so much the term of this was the straw that broke the camel's back. But it's just we already have a lot of different pressures in life to perform. And this is the crazy part. A lot of what we do at a fundamental level is simple, but it's deep and it's connected to the man. But what makes what we do work so well, Chris, is it helps keep the chaos and all the bullshit at bay. That's what this is about. Because if we didn't have any stress, any chaos with kids, with relationships, with work, with all the other moving parts, it's a fucking walk in the park, isn't it, mate? It's easy, isn't it? It's simple. But this is the skill set and one of the most valuable assets we spoke about this last night in the charge up, the ability to actually slow everything down. That's very valuable in today's world. How do I slow? There are apps for that. Cooling and calming and breathing and rest and meditation. There are actually apps out there now to stop and slow down? Well, they have been for a while. Stop and slow people down. But isn't it fascinating, though, mate, just the story that every man has. You guys listening to this. We've been part of Chris life for a period of time now. And just everything you've gone through, mate, like, life is. It's so. The patterns can be so similar, but it's actually so unique and different with you moving, with being in Canberra, coming up raising on the farm, going through the divorce, the two young kids, you know, sport, all the different things that you shared, obviously, your injuries and then the scare with the heart, even your work, your professional career. Like, we all have so many different intricacies of life. It's just fascinating that we're here and we can share your story, Chris, because the men, whether they're members or not, listening to this or watching it, they're going to connect to so many different points and then it's going to help them with some fundamental. What we said before, binaries, yes or no? Yes, I will do something about my life. No, I won't. Yes, I will. I'll say yes to getting better, which means I'm going to say no to getting worse. And it's not just the words I speak or even my ads or even the supplements. It's stories like yours where it's like, man, there's just. Life is so messy. And it's not that it's bad, but it's so messy for all of us in so many different ways. It really is quite unique that the path that you've walked, mate. But the thing that I love most is your desire once that switch was flicked. Not that you didn't work hard beforehand, but your desire, once you had that big scare, to change and improve your life and take that step which inadvertently, after a period of time, of everything else you did and through the supplements led to us. But I guess before we dive into that mate and the journey we've had together, how long were you under the pump for? Like what? Like, okay, it was 56 months into being 50 years of age, which is ironic in itself, like you said with the number. But numbers aside, like, what. How long do you feel like you're under the pump for? And what led to that end? Outcome, so to speak. And look, some guys may never have a heart attack, but was it from the age of 40, 38 up 42? Like, how long do you feel like things were just sort of, I don't know, adjusting the pants size? They were just slowly going in the wrong direction. And what do you think led to that, which is probably common for so many men that enter the middle age slowly falling down and pulling apart?

Look, I was very active as a teenager up to about the age of 20. I used to play cricket, played soccer, did some years of playing rugby league, taekwondo, used to do that. So I was very active in, in those teen years up until really until I got married, which I was about 22 or 23 when I got married, and really probably let go of, of that sporting and that because you had family, young, you're married young, kids, you're doing things with them. And I think that's one of the things that we learned through RDM that, you know, you were very active in that area, you had kids. It shouldn't just stop because you've got family and kids. You just need to prioritise some time for yourself, which you don't do. It's either you're doing something with the family, you're doing something with the kids, you're away on holidays with the kids. Yes, you're away on holidays, but it's all stressful and you don't take time out really for yourself. So really I think it was just a slow progression from when I got this doesn't sound good for getting married, but just a slow progression of, you know, getting married, having those different responsibilities, raising children, making sure the family and that are all okay, putting in the big hours as, you know, typical for my sort of era was, you know, you went out, you made the money and you worked as hard as you could, as many hours you could to put food on the table, to get that holiday to go away, to, you know, so the kids could do this and that and so forth. And you know, you throw a divorce in there while you're working three times as hard because you've got half the money that you had when you were married to try and get yourself back on your feet again and those sorts of things. So, you know, I used to put in, put in pretty big hours. I was on call all the time for the majority of my career. Even now I'm still on call 24 7. So. But I have strategies in place that if I do get that call, that there's usually a third party I can ring to actually go to site. Whereas before it was me jumping the car at all hours of the morning, getting calls, two, three, four o' clock in the morning, out because, you know, something's broken down or whatever. So. So I think it was just a gradual progression because I had that whole sporting era of my life up until about 1920, and then family, no sporting as such, but living through the kids, the sport they were doing to a certain point. And then with the marriage breakdown, throwing myself into work, as us blokes do, if you have that sort of breakdown, you don't want to deal with things, you just throw yourself into your work 100%. And I think it was just a very, very slow progression up until the breaking point over those, you know, 30, 30 odd years to, to for it to happen. So I can't say how, how the fire what breaks Camel's back, but they caused the heart attack. But I just say I wasn't fit enough to finish the stroke without having us having a heart attack.

Fair enough. Fair enough, mate.

What you see in the movies does happen.

Yes. All right, we'll leave that open to the, to the guys to digest and connect the dots. Such a gentleman, Chris. Such a gentleman. Isn't it funny though, mate? Like, it's no secret, like, when we have kids, our world completely changes and we can be incredibly selfish in a good way, like in doing things for ourselves with sport, what you mentioned, all those sorts of moving parts, as well as our hormones and everything running when we're young and hot and it's ready to rock and roll. But funny thing you mentioned is the marriage. It's really funny. A lot that drives us in our ancestry and being primal as men is obviously procreation and yeah, to a degree, attraction to the opposite sex. But that's just a byproduct of the energy we express in standing up and, you know, I guess not being arrogant or ego driven, but connecting who it is we are inside out and showing the world. And a lot of that for men and young men is sports. And a lot of the things that get cut away when it comes to roles and responsibilities, fatherhood and duties and money and mortgages and that sort of stuff. Other things that we call them sport at the time, but they're actually points of connecting back to ourself or Hobb hobbies or things that we do just for us, right? And. And a lot of those being men in primal that we do for ourselves, Chris, is actually for our physical health as well, isn't it? Sport? Even things like fishing, getting out and about. So it's almost like a two birds with one stone, but unfortunately in the wrong, in the wrong way or the wrong form of symbolism because we cut away the things that have been good for us mentally and things that have connected us back to ourselves again. But most of the things we do as men have a health benefit as well, which obviously suffers. So we're cutting both of those away in one and then add all the stresses of money working overtime, being pulled in every direction. Everyone wants a slice of you. I mean, I guess it's no secret, mate, that life just becomes chaotic to the point where there's breakdowns emotionally, physically, in relationships. But why do you think. I mean, it's. Is it. Is it because it's the perception of what we think we should be providing as a man? But why do you think that is just such a common. Because I've been guilty of it. We all have. It's such a common approach for men, but especially in their. In their 40s, to the point where they're almost at that, where they think a Hail Mary or something will turn, but they. They pass that point in no return or something happens. Like, what do you think, as men? Is it they don't want to address it, like you said, is it they just stay. They stay distracted. They think that they're invincible. Like, why do you think so many guys in their 40s, as they enter the second, just fucking crush themselves, mate, over time, just a little bit. It's like the death of a thousand cuts. Why do you think that happens? Looking back now.

Look, I think there's the invincibility up to the age of your 40s, 40s, you know, you're 10 foot tall and bulletproof and you can do all this and, you know, you've got enough in your tank, I suppose, to do everything.

And.

It then gets to a point where you do slow down a little bit, or you, you know, as you say, you get to that. Everyone has a different point where all of a sudden there's a snap. You know, it might be in your 40s, it might be in your 50s, it might be in your 30s, depending on what you've been through in life. But, yeah, I just. Everyone's different, as we all know. And I think we forget that, as you say, if you are exercising, you feel much better for it. And I think, you know, you're going flat out, but you're going flat out in a different way with work and everyone pulling at you than what you are. If you actually got a sort of a training regime or a routine to. For you, for your fitness to start with, to keep that fitness level up. Because I'm doing far more stuff now than I did through my 30s and 40s. Right. It's it might look that way. But if I look back over things you were doing, you were doing a lot. But for instance, this weekend I moved 2 square meters of tambark for a family member. I helped load a six ton truck and if I'd done that in my 30s and 40s in one weekend I'd be off for the rest of the week with a pulled muscle or the backs out or I'd be going to the Cairo or you know, I'd be eating a handful of Nurofen or whatever. And what did I do? I, you know, had a hot shower with a three minute cold shower and jumped on the roller and I was good as gold sort of thing. So, you know, because I've got strategies and now when you feel a bit of something, you know, well, if I go and roll it, if I go and stretch it, I'll be good sort of thing. So yeah, yeah.

It's amazing. Is it like when you connect that wisdom and then bring that youthful energy back. One of the most powerful, it's one of the most powerful places you can be like, I see men like yourself in their 50s. I'm like, Mate, they're bringing some age and experience and wisdom and then coupling that with getting that fountain of youth again by investing in your health the right way. You know that like everything we do physically, it affects us mentally and how we feel. So that connects both. And then having the right team and the right structure and game plan. Chris heads just warming up. You know, this is, this is what it's about because you can carry through and do the right, the right things for you and focus like you said you'd doing a lot in your 30s. But what, what was the actual application and effort in terms of sheer fitness? Sounds like it wasn't to. What you could do now is at 54 years of age and. Or 50. Yeah, 54 now 55. Like that's fucking amazing, mate. You know, so when you, when you look at that, it's actually, it's exciting. Well, that's how I look at it too, Chris. Not that I'm wishing my life weighing on. I can't wait till I'm 70 and I can show people I've got biceps. It's not about that, it's just, just we see a common theme through society where like you said, 50's it all right, slow down. It's like, man, you could have a solid. You could. I've worked with people up to 78 years of age. My grandmother's 85 and she's you know, I think it's. Is it the diet she's on includes fish. She's very health conscious. Is it Prescott? I can't remember what's called prescritarian or something like that. Like, she's very conscious of her health. She stays active. She's in great shape. She's like 86 years of age. But at 50, you've still got a solid 30 years where you can create some big waves, mate, in any area of life, to be fair, with less restrictions in a lot of ways that you might have when you're really young, either financially or with the children or with sleep or with raising kids. And it's pretty exciting, mate, to see that turn around, I guess, before we dive into some of those changes you've made. Because that was a great example, what you've gone through and conquered this weekend or the weekend just passed. That's some solid work. What, what was really going through your head, like when you were laying there and you'd suffer that heart attack?

Like what?

I don't know, I'm just, I'm just curious, mate. Like, what was actually going through your head or your mind over that 24 or 96 hour period or that week, weeks after, like, what was going on?

I suppose at the initial stages, because the pain that I had that, that took me out was not across the chest as such, it was just running up the arms either side. So I was actually in the fetal position and, and just waiting for the pain to go away. It was never going to. And I remember the partner, Wendy, coming in and she thought I'd gone to sleep. Can't wake up, you know, she's gonna wake up, you lazy bugger. And all I could croak out was, I'm not good, I'm not good. And I'm thinking that, I'm thinking to myself, if something doesn't. Something doesn't give you this, this could be it, you know, this could be the, the telltale. And I remember when he said, oh, what do I do? Do I ring 91 1, isn't it 91 1? Lucky your daughter was there. So, yeah, so rang and, you know, the, the ambo guys were great and, and the paramedic that was there, she got there early. Oh, you'll be right, you'll be right. You know, just hang in there. And then the surgeon saying, oh, my pain will go away in a minute. He was real, real Aussie, you know. Yeah, be right, mate. As soon as we get in there and open her up, all the pain will go away sort of thing. So which it did. And then the next day, as you say, just lying there thinking about everything that had happened. It was like holy, you know, that, that once they told me what had happened and I just thought, you know, anywhere else, if I'd been anywhere else I wouldn't be, I wouldn't be here today sort of thing. And there's a lot more, a lot more life to live than, you know, ahead of me. So it was, it was a real, real sort of a light bulb moment. Look, I've got to do something about this. I've got to, I've got to do something about it. Work was really good. I think work realized once I'd had my heart attack that they needed to reassess what my role was. So I was actually off work for seven weeks and they got someone into contractor in to look after my role. So long story short, the role that I'm in is now myself full time and two other part time people that are involved in, in doing this role. So I was doing, trying to manage all of that tenancy, leasing and all sorts of stuff all on my own, I mean with the organization. But, but a lot of the time, you know, still doing the after hours calls, still, still managing tenants and contractors and complaints and more complaints and more complaints, trying to deal with and kick everybody, keep everybody happy. And the only person that wasn't happy was probably me, you know, so, and you know, you'd go home and you'd be absolutely knackered and oh, I'm sick of this person winding about this. I don't know what to do about it as I'm, you know, halfway through another bottle of red wine sort of thing or whatever it was and they wake up the next morning probably feeling crap. But it became to a point where you didn't know any different. This is the way you always felt. And as you said, you know, going out to buy clothes or buying the next size up. I've still got jeans that I've got there now that I grabbed a pair out the other day. I went to put them on and, but I can put them on and wear a belt. But there was, I dropped that much that there was no way you could put a belt on and still keep your trousers up sort of thing.

I need to frame them, mate. The man I never became.

And, and look, you know, it would have been very easy to say this is my lodging loss on 50, I've had a heart attack, you know, that's it, I can't do anymore. Just life's all over, you know, I've just got to watch what I do, you know, I've got to be very. People get back to the point where I can't do much because I've had a heart attack. I can't do that, I can't run, I can do a little bit of walking, you know, physical exercise, just take it easy because you've had a heart attack. Whereas really you've got to get back into it. Through that process, I did find out that I've got a. Which is probably good. I do have a heart defect in that. The trivalve in your heart. I've actually got a bivalve that grew. Two of them grew together. So I've actually got three bivalves in my heart. I run a trival and two bivalves. So that's something that we've got to keep an eye on. But I think in June, I think I posted to the dads, I had a full stress test, ultrasound and a full stress test back in June. Check it with my cardiologist and I had the treadmill up on a high incline and that I thought, oh, this is going to be good. And I was only just starting to get into a rhythm and they go, oh, that's it, all good. Said what? You know, expecting it to go for a lot longer. No, mate, everything's working perfectly. You've got no problems whatsoever. So had a clean, clean bill of health. So obviously doing something right. So I've got to keep on that path. And you know, you do, you do feel, do feel a lot better and it's taken that full 18 months with RDN and I was only thinking this week that it's only till now that I'm starting to feel that I'm standing tall and physically feeling that I'm standing tall and upright and mentally feeling strong and strong mind and strong willed and strong about things. So I had a few little hiccups along the way where mentally you've lost it a little bit for a week or two here, but each time it's easier to come back into the routine and just hitting the straps now and really enjoying it.

So no great share, mate. I've never lost faith in your ability because when you've had those little moments where they've been hiccups along the way, you've really bounced back and led by example and that's something that can be seen and felt, Chris. It really can. What a relief though, mate, to have a stress test and then go Everything's running, running well, humming along nicely. A relief's the word that comes to mind because like, beauty, I've earned the right to play again, which is just, you know, it's a statement or a term we use for anything. But it, it is that I've earned my place here. Yeah, I can stand tall. I'm here now and I've done that. And look, I don't try and keep guys here forever, but we've had guys have been with us for years and, and obviously we support them in their journey, but it's just, it's epic because sometimes you just see those little. It's when you reflect, you're like, oh yeah, I got good results in four months. Or then this happened. Or then I got great results at that 10 month mark, 12 months. Yeah, this is where it changed my life. But now it's like, it's just gears and levels and layers, mate. It really is. And that's what I love. Including myself and what we do by trying to lead by example and continually serve. Because you'd notice as well as guys who've been with us for only six months, let alone getting close to that two year mark, how much we've changed as well. And it's exciting, which we'll dive into in a sec. But it's, it's so crazy, mate, you know, and we, we can be for every father we don't have to be. Maybe this podcast is just enough. Maybe our YouTube channel, our free groups, just enough. It's just, it's crazy, the psychology of us as men, isn't it? Where whether they say they use the word invincible or not, they just think they've got time, you know, she'll be right, we'll get around there one day. And it's like, man, I've had people, I've had so many people around me already dead, you know, and I'm not even 50 yet, you know, ways off it. And it's. Some of them were 16, some in their 20s, a few good mates in their 30s and early 40s. And it's like, that's scary for me, Chris. You know, I've got three young kids. Like, mate, I, I'm nowhere near done, nowhere near even if I raised all my children properly and then I'm in my, you know, raised them well properly, gave them everything that I could as a leader in building that resilience and challenges and all that sort of stuff that we talk about because I apply the same at home, you know, even then they all flew the nest in my 50s, I'd be like, I'm just fucking still warming up. There's some. And then I look back and reflect on some of those faces that were very close to me that passed. I'm like, this person's missing out on so much. And maybe it's not a health scare, maybe it's a relationship or maybe it's their children and passing that point where there is irreparable trauma or damage and they can't quite get back. Well, they definitely can't get back the fifth birthday party again, but they can't establish that relationship again because their daughter or their son's made their mind up on who they are to them now for the rest of their life or, you know, or job propositions or just life in general. It's scary, mate, how much people actually just play with life and think that they. And I'm definitely not judging or, and certainly not putting you in that position, but you were in that boat obviously in your 40s, which led to that, that point where there was a real wake up call. But I love what you've done with it now. But it's crazy, isn't it, mate? People just think, she'll be right and I'll figure it out. And then when that jolt comes, I mean, look, nothing shows us mortality more than obviously being at a funeral, but the gift of life, when there's new life, baby being born or the death or a funeral, it's. It becomes real. But sometimes not that you wish to be frequently at them. It seems few and far between, doesn't it, mate? To have that reflection to go, you know, life is precious this, mate.

You just never know when, when your number's up. So you really got to. And through ODM learning that, that look, you've just got to take every moment you can and make the most of it. And, you know, if you are in a situation that's tough to get out of, in this case, we've got the tribe that you can lean on, you've got someone you can ring up and chat with, you've got coaches that you can go, hey, I'm in this bind. I need some advice on what to do here or whatever and to have that tribal community. And yes, you do bond with some people more than others, but at the tribe in general, just to keep that activity and that, what's the word I want, keep the momentum going, is just fantastic, which I find. And the challenges that we do, like I think I've said to you before, when we did the Winter Wars. I just love the Winter wars because winter used to be the hardest time for me. Well, hardest time for everyone, especially in Canberra. It's cold, it's, you know, when it's damp, you know what that comfort food and, you know, that sort of thing. And the two Winter wars have really been fantastic for me. I've really embraced them and got into them and they've helped me, help me through those periods. And now Primal Pairs, you know, it's something different again. So, you know, which is really good.

I love, I love, see, I love challenges when you've actually got some point of connection and a purpose behind it. You know, if you're on a 28 day dad bod challenge and you've got a whole bunch of strangers and you're trying to get someone in and show them what you can do for a month and then sign them up like that doesn't make any sense to me. I'll never run that. Used to in the gym. Learned from that many years ago. But that Winter wars are epic, aren't they? Even the layout, the way that we do it, it's actually very unique. The structure and style and the short bursts we have. And I love them, mate, like this. This year's Winter wars was next level. But the Primal Pairs is an amazing comp that we're running at this stage. And we've obviously got a pretty, we've got a pretty exciting one which is new again, and a different layout coming in January, which will be very exciting to kick off and bridge that gap between, you know, setting your New Year's resolutions and actually doing them. You got 92% fail in the first four weeks. Obviously not on the inside with us, but average population. Yeah, that's crazy, isn't it? Like 92% in the first four weeks fail their New Year's resolutions. And the top five are generally health and wellbeing, body and mind related, you know, but fast forward, like from your journey. How have you found, how have you found, like what has changed in your life, Chris? And how have you found your journey with us, mate? And how we continually change and evolve, you know, together with you, with the other fathers and what has been your personal, I guess some key points or key markers for success for you in your journey with us so far?

Well, as you know, I bleed for rdm and you tried to kill me at Kosciuszko or something.

Did literally bleed for idea. That was a great stack, mate. You were killing it on the mountain bike flying past me when my electric mountain bike Wasn't working.

And the Iceman challenge in the background was the best thing I could have done. After the photo in the background, I've taken that photo, but I was in the water after that with Matt Saronge, American Connection there, and he's the one that talked me into getting in there up to my neck for as long as I can. And that was fantastic. The journey, look, the structure. I think when we first talked our, I think I decided to join up for six months rather than 12 months and you gave me access to, to the system, the website, everything like that. And I think I rang you the next day, didn't I, and said, look, mate, I want to go for a full year because I've seen all the resources there and there's just practically no way that I feel that I can get the most of this within six months. And straight away I changed it within a day, I changed it up to a 12 month signup. And to be honest, I think it's taken me 18 months to now to really feel the benefits of all the mindset stuff, the physical stuff, the nutrition, all the resources that we've got, all the guest speakers, as you say, you get little bits off of each. Yes, I don't do every possible thing that's in idm, but I'm picking the pieces that work for me and I'm feeling, I've got to that stage now where, as I said, I'm feeling tall, I'm feeling strong. I know what I should do and I do do. And if you slip a bit, you know that you've got to do that to get back to that point. So, you know, from signing up to getting to know everybody in the tribe to working through nutrition, you know, nutrition that I thought was good for me, which I wasn't doing right. So now there's, you know, I should be having more of this and less of this and you shouldn't be dieting, you should be actually eating more calories, not less to, to, to, to, to look after yourself and, and different things. You know, having, having, having some supplements but you don't need to go overboard and having the right, right supplements. And it's exciting from where I've come from, yes, I've dropped some more weight, but I've sort of plateaued at the moment at about 85 kilos. I have been down to 83. But I found it very hard to maintain that. And that was before I think I started with RDN and I was dieting and fasting and, and doing some right Things, but some things that were detrimental to that as well, that I couldn't sustain. So I've sort of plateaued a bit now. So I'm excited going forward for the next 12 months to have the technology that we're getting the My Zone stuff, which I should get mine today, to take some of this stuff that Ken's telling us and hopefully eventually do a hot seat with Ken and just tweak it that much further. So, yeah, I, it's all positive at the moment for me and as I said, it's taken me 18 months to get to this point where I'm feeling strong, I'm feeling positive, you know, I'm standing straight and looking forward to the next 12 months.

Absolutely, mate. And I love the. Your nature is. I don't know if meticulous is the word, Chris, but when you see it like you said the next day I was like, al, I got to commit to 12 months of this. You know, I want to make sure that I'm just finding everything I can out of this. And this is the game, mate. You know, yes, we can have expectations, we should be here, but what are we doing to build or to bridge the gap to get there? And we all have that. I have that personal level on a professional level sometimes in my relationships, when my relationship was breaking down four or five years ago and I expected it to be fixed in a couple of months when I just said the right things and did the right actions like, well, hang on a minute, maybe instead of 8 rep, I've got to do 800 reps of this to follow through. So it's fascinating. But what I love most is you're taking what applies for you and what works for you, Chris. But also it really is a symbolism where it's a fine line we walk. There's a monstrous amount of value and resources, even from the audio books, the mindset things, our own books and courses. It's crazy, mate. I look at how much we have and I'm like, I really scratched my head because I'm like, sure, this is pretty high level value, but it's not what the father specifically needs or necessarily needs at that point in his journey. And maybe I'm wrong, but maybe that's what you mean. Over the 18 months, you've collectively stacked and built what it is you've needed from us to really carve out that new, that new standard and base. But it's a double edged sword, mate, because I agree with you. Like when I look at that I'm like, is it Too much. I mean, we definitely steer the guys away from it now. Like, look, we've got all of this, this is our knowledge library which has access to bang, bang, bang. But this is all we want you to do. These are the habits you need to, I mean, you know, mate, if you build the right habit every two months in family solvent service, you've got 18 new habits over 12 months. That's life changing. Maybe not at the time, but then when you reflect you're like, yeah, no, this has really turned around. So I'm excited too for you, Chris, because that next 12 months is going to be another kicker again with the technology and everything we have. You're just going to kick that next gear of self awareness, social awareness, which is skill sets we continually develop together of how to keep influencing and leading through our own actions. But then positioning that maybe not level of authority, but position, that level of leadership. It's like, well, look at, look now I'm 56 and look at what I'm doing. And what I'm doing is blowing most 30 year olds away, blowing them out of the water when we're looking at service, how I'm standing up as a member computer, a member of the community and actually being an amazing asset to this organization. Which you would be, mate. You'd be the rock for sure. Given you've been with them for 18 years and how you run things as that coupled with your relationships, coupled with yourself. You can win in all three, can't you Chris? It's hard, but it's possible, mate. And I guess, you know, for a, not a late starter because obviously you got your accolades earlier in life in plenty of areas too. But for someone who joined us later in life, it's awesome to be part of your journey and see, see how much you've changed and improved, you know, in your circumstances and what you've done.

Yeah, and I mean I joined. Well, the reason I, I joined really was more about my mindset rather than physical. You know, I wasn't, I wasn't really overweight and I need to lose a heap of weight. But mine because at the time my mind was, was blind. I needed, needed, needed something to settle all that down and, and that's, that's what. I worked through with you guys. But the bonus was the, that to get that good mindset was you need a good exercise regime and some of those things like that. So, you know, one goes hand in hand with the other. So. Yeah, which is, which has been really, really good.

Absolutely. That's why I Love calling it our energy protocol and our energy pillar. You know, there are some guys where some of the physical adaptations are more important in calories burning, body composition and whatnot than some of the other guys. It's actually chemical and hormonal health. Some of the guys that chemical ties into their emotional health, what they're doing with their body and their mind together, what we talk about creating space, getting out in. In nature, and just grounding ourselves in our ancestral roots, mate. Which we. I laugh because it's like, again, it can be seen, simple. But how. How many guys listening to this, like, how many guys are actually just going out? Maybe, yeah, maybe you do it in your backyard, but just going barefoot along the beach, or even maybe not on a bush trail if there were things that were gonna fuck your feet up. But, you know, like, how many of you guys are actually just walking around without shoes on, either in the backyard or at the beach or at a park? I love going to an oval near me, Chris, where I get the kids out and shoes off. Just walk around and just ground yourself. You don't have to think of cheese or energies or chakras. It's literally just. Just feeling your feet and things that are sensory to us at an ancestral level, like it's in our DNA. This is the stuff. As crazy as it might sound and as simple as it is, I guarantee it, most of the guys listening to this, they do fuck all of it. Yet you can instantly be calm and relaxed. Like when I go out the oval over here near my office, shoes off. It's actually a cricket oval. The grass is cut. Like it brings back memories of when I used to play cricket. And it's relaxing. There's some birds playing, playing around. It's just like nice breeze. It's all the things that create our reality, isn't it? And it's an important part that, that we all have to find at an individual level. Like you said, you didn't have 30 or 40 kilos to lose, but sharpening up the mind, the body, which influences the mind. Always been around a belief system to go, you know what? I might and you might. I don't know, mate. You can tell me. But you might start. Have mates in their 50s, mid to late 50s. You're like, they're just really slowing down now. Like they're just settling. They don't really, you know, they're just cruising. They're this and that. And I'm not saying you should cut your mates away. This is what will happen, Chris, because you'll Keep setting a standard because you're in an environment where you immerse yourself in that sets standards and then having some of the younger bulls is going to drive you. That's a motivating thing. Just like some of the older bulls inspires me and the tribe. You'll start to see it, mate.

You probably.

I mean, have you already started to see that as people around that same age, they're just starting to just sort of wane a little bit and.

Yeah, yeah, look, we actually got together with a school group on the weekend that we've kept touch with way back from primary and high school. There's a group of us that get together and there were some differences that I saw at this and that was on Friday night. And, you know, normally after a get together like that, they might as well ride off the next day. And, you know, I had three middies of beer and just took it easy. And one of them turned up and he'd been to a sales lunch and now it was dinner and he was. He was stanked and she had to take me out and sit him in the car to have a bit of a sleep and that sort of thing. And these are good friends of mine that I'm looking at going, mate, we might need to sit down and have a chat, you know, and just see what's going on. And, you know, you got to watch out because that was me back, you know, four or five years ago and then this happened to me and this is where I am now. You know, you might, you know, I don't know how you start that conversation, but I think I've got the skills. I've learned, brdn that you can start to have that conversation with someone that's a good mate, that you can just sit down and say, you know, what's going on? You know, you really got to watch this and, you know, I'd hate to see you to have a heart attack like me, that sort of thing, because this particular person was. Was quite fit, but just in this new role and I think Covid and everything else. Then on the flip side, another mate of ours that was also there. He was well overweight and unfortunately he went through a tragedy. His wife passed of cancer, he's got two young kids and he's going through a whole wealth of pain. And the way he's making his way through that pain is he started to run and he's gone on keto diet and he runs to keep his mental health and he's gone total opposite way. He's Skinny, he's enjoying life and the kids are seeing the fruits of him running and keeping his mental health that's being passed on. The kids, he's just starting a new relationship, which is great to see and everything's lining up for him. So just at that one party, you can see two sides of it, two sides of the, of the seesaw, you know, which we see through RDM and ways, things to look out for and ways that you can work through that, that process sort of thing.

So, yeah, life, life does not stop, does it, mate? It, it will not stop. Like it will, it will kick your ass if you don't stand up to it. And that's just something that I've seen time and time again, regardless of age. But you definitely see the patterns, don't you, mate, as they get older. And it's part of a book that I'm writing and it's about winning the second half. And you know, when does it even start? You know, the second half for some of my mates who already passed was when they were 10 years of age. That's fucking crazy. But what I've, what I've come to realize, and this book's obviously dedicated to you and all the other men in the tribe because it's all of you who teach and help me explore the ways that I can reflect and direct the right strategies, habits and tools is it's winning the second half is. I said it to us, talking to a friend the other day, I was like, when do you think the second half is one? And like in the first half, I'm like, yeah, it's interesting. It's not just that though. It's a transitional period. And this is the hard part, this is the fight, Chris, because it's not a day, it's not a week, it's not just turning up for a month. What I've seen, and I love to collate the data to put it in this book, but it's a transitional period. Winning the second half in life is actually a transition from the first half. The second half, which on the law of averages, if we live to be around 81, for men, it's between 80 and 82, there's a few different studies, is a 20 year transition from 33 to 53. So before you enter, as you're entering and as you're moving a good chunk into second half, that's what I've come to collectively pull together and have a verdict on a 20 year transition. And you can see, see it from 33 to 43 you just see the cracks. Like the conversations I'm having with guys in their early mid-30s to guys are in their early 40s. I'm like, I can see the cracks appearing and like you've said before, some are more accelerated than others in different things and circumstances, but. And then from 43 to 53. Fuck, mate, you just see, you see the chaos, you see the aftershock of the earthquake that rips through the mid-40s. And then it's why we don't get too many men, which I'm proud of, all the guys who continually turn up. We don't get too many men like yourself, Chris, because. Because they're either too broken and who wants to rebuild their life in their 50s. Fuck, that just sounds like a nightmare to me right now, mate. And secondly, it's just an acceptance. This is the standard is what it is, victim or not, with their mentality. It's just, nah, this is just what life is now. And it's crazy. Like the cracks and then the breakdowns over a 20 year transition. It's bloody tough, mate. But it's funny to see, like you said, two sides of that seesaw where some men have it and like yourself, they flick the switch because that would be pretty traumatic, losing your wife to then go, okay, how do I stand up in my own life, my health, for my children. And then the other side of, you know, I guess I'm too scared to drink, Chris. And it's not because I wouldn't have control in the moments because I lose control and certainty over what am I going to do the next day, how will my body produce, how will I then be effective, how will I. Not that it's bad, but people writing themselves off and just like you're just. It's so much volatility and instability I guess by guys who might be chronically drinking in that aspect or just always looking for the next event to use as an excuse to blow themselves away because maybe they don't have their shit together where they should or want to. But I guess to wrap up, mate, it's been an awesome episode with you, Chris, to wrap up passing on some of your wisdom. If the guys listening to this, we can all be better. It was part of the charge up that I did. You know, we can all improve. We shouldn't take mistakes or fuck ups as personally as we probably do. You know, what are we measuring against? It's our life, it's just actions. We can change our actions. So you know, self sabotaging is a dangerous thing. But guys listening to this, what advice would you offer? Like, what do they need? What's a step they need to take or what's something they can implement, or whether it's a reflection and action, like what's some wisdom that you would pass on to these guys, mate, as we wrap this up, that are listening to this, who might be sort of between that 38 and 50 year mark. And yeah, they're in the chaos right now, they're in the storm and they don't know how to quite get their shit together to get back in front again.

I suppose the biggest thing that I've taken out of being with RDM and what I've been through is you need to take time for yourself and you need routine and you need a bit of a challenge for yourself. Now, I'm not talking about the challenge of the family and work of everything that's going on. The thing I find about the group, these challenges that you set as a, as a, as a guy, a male, and that you do, you do, if you've got a challenge in front of you that you can improve yourself and help others with, you'll take that challenge on full steam ahead. And the routine, for me, it's routine. If I get out of that routine, that's when things get clunky and things go wrong. Getting back into that routine and communicating that you need that routine with your family, with your partner, with your children and working through that with them. Like a lot of us as men, we shut down our communications and that's our biggest failure as a lot of men is we crawl back into our cave and don't communicate, which I used to do and I still do from time to time. But I'm learning that by communicating with my partner, communicating with my kids, communicating with the guys in the tribe and the coaches and yourself, Life is a lot better if you communicate. You've got return and you've got some challenges that are your challenges to bear and improve yourself.

Yeah, I love it, mate. Great points there, you know, and actually wrote a couple of them down. I think they could be some good little individual episodes to expand on. Got to take time for yourself routine. That's one of the episodes I did before. Structure equals freedom. Could not agree more with that. Routine's great. And challenge. It's in our blood, mate. We are conquerors. And whether conquering to you is discovering new land like the ancestors did, getting the big hunt or the big kill to feed the tribe, or improving your fitness scores, or setting a target to develop more Intelligence and knowledge in finding a better skill set that will serve you, not just because it'll serve you. And one could be communication that's important and sharing all that other, mate. Wise words. Thanks for joining us, Chris. It's been awesome having you on, mate. I've really enjoyed it. I hope you have as well for another round. We'll do another round, mate, in 18 months time and see where you're at again. But yeah, it's been awesome catching up with you, mate.

No worries, Al. And for those guys that gave me a ribbing at the beginning, yeah, the dads absolutely ripping me because I wouldn't swear. Well, there you go.

That's it. Yes. Love it, mate. That's awesome. Great stuff, Chris. Well, what I'll do, mate, that was, that was a good warm up. I'll press record and then we'll start the podcast. How's that sound?

No worries.

I can't remember I did that with once and I just. The look on their face, they're like, you're fucking kidding, man. We just put all that effort in crack up now. I hope you guys have enjoyed this. I hope you've gotten a lot of value out of it as I have. Even that, that routine, you know, that's. I talk about habits, all this sort of stuff. And this is what I love, Chris. Like I've just learned a couple of bits and pieces from you. I've made some notes like it's almost like it's a healthy addiction. But for me it's just, just going, how do we, how do we filter? And then how do we reposition some of these simple terms? Like you got 24 hours in a day. You and I know, we've heard that and it's been flogged to death. So what do we do? We talk about the thousand minutes and this is what I love, mate. It's fathers just like yourself who through their own words, through their own stories and their own wisdom that they pass on, just grows everything as a whole, mate. It's awesome. Loved having you on. Thanks again, mate and hope you guys really enjoyed this and got a lot of value out of it.

Good on you. Thanks, Al. See you later.

1,000 minutes a day, it's a lot. But when you're wasted on shit that doesn't serve you or move yourself or your family forward, you are bleeding the most valuable resource that you and I never get back. How much time do you think you have and how much quality do you think you've had? Don't be a fool like the masses, thinking you'll cheat the system or get round to it one day or worse. Just accepting life and sinking back into a slumber of regret. This is your moment, your time. You're cut from a different cloth. You have the hunger and desire to be more and live more. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. So stand up. Find the golden nuggets in this episode you just listened to and align immediate action with them and where you want to go. You are worthy. This is your life. You are the king. And this is your kingdom. Now go and claim it by showing, not telling, and be the real leader. You and I both know you were born to be.