158. From Constructing Buildings To Constructing Minds

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement podcast. The point and purpose of these episodes, as always, is to have a point and purpose towards helping you win the second half in life by building a path of becoming the best father, husband, man and member of your community that you can be. We do this with various ways of connecting. Life is connection. And as you hear these words spoken time and time again, know that the driving force of connection in life is energy. Which means that how you turn up as a father, as a husband, as a valued member of society will always start and end with how you turn up as a man within yourself. First. This is why it's my mission, my purpose, our mission, our purpose through Real Dad Movement to inspire, motivate, educate and guide you into thoughts, feelings, actions and a change in your belief systems to rise up, cut the shit from your life and live and leave a real legacy. When dads win, everyone wins. And when you win, I win. Let's get moving forward, mate, right here, right now. Welcome to a podcast episode where we've got a special guest. With us today, we've got a member, Troy Drake, who's been with us for just about six months now and he's part of our new movement, the Real Grandpa movement. He is a grandfather already, but I'm sorry, he shouldn't have told me that, mate. But thanks for joining us, Troy. Great to have you on here, man.

Thanks, Al. Good to be on, mate.

You're a fucking great looking grandfather, mate, I'll tell you that much.

I'll take that. Appreciate it.

Hey, some of those pictures you've posted lately of the mountains, I'm very envious, mate. Like when we do that, I think it was Mount Karoora. Is that right? When we caught up at. Yep, Noosa. It feels like a while ago now, mate, which is disappointing. Would have loved to been up in Queensland a couple more times since, but obviously the circumstances haven't allowed. Was amazing up there and I just, it just got me thinking, you know, and I know we spoke about a word that you said. You're talking about physical health and fitness and getting back into being physically healthier and fitter and what that means for your mindset. But a point you mentioned, which I think should probably be, or at least be close to the episode name. You're getting the enjoyment back in. You can go out and paddle for a surf, but the paddle hasn't fucking flogged you. So you can enjoy the experience. Just like climbing the mountain, you know, you're at the top and you can soak it all in and it becomes a part of physical exertion, but then also creating space. But creating space is something that you're very familiar with and we'll dive into that with your meditation business. But just to paint a bit more of a picture for the guys, you know, of course we can discuss what, you know, what RDM means to you and what our program High Performance Father means to you, mate. But, you know, I'd love for you to just share a bit of background on, on you. Whether it's your upbringing, history, where you've come from, just to shed a bit of light on yourself, mate, and your, your journey up until the point of, I guess just before we connected. Yep.

Well, obviously background is in construction. So, you know, I've got over 30 years in construction, but I, you know, I also run a meditation business. A lot of people will look at me and go, construction, meditation, how does that go together? And yeah, it is a strange combination, but I know I introduced it in my world when I was running a construction company and I had 65 employees and hadn't learned how to manage my stress well. So it became a big part of how I managed my stress with, through daily meditation and just consolidating that. That's constant stress release off the nervous system. So that's how those two go together. As far as family wise. I've got three kids and I've got three kids from a past relationship and three step kids and a grandson now. And whilst it's fantastic having all that keeps you busy and it's enjoyable. But I know we've touched on a few things before about that connection time. And obviously when I was doing fly in, fly out work, there wasn't those habits that were there before the flying flyer and I did this for three years had faded away. Because you do find that when you're doing the FIFO work, family life gets on with things and you might be three weeks, four weeks out and then come home for a week. What ends up happening is that disconnect with the families. That family unit is moving along, doing their daily routine, whatever that is, you come back into it and you don't actually fit into it. So it's actually quite a tough routine for the FIFO worker to keep one their nutrition and movement going, but also that connection with family. And I know when I reached out to RDM and yourself and had a chat, initially it was all about how do I get my nutrition and my movement going again? But we've sort of, as time's gone on these other connections of reconnecting with the family and, and all those sort of things have kicked back in, which has been vitally important to the whole journey. And anybody that's doing that construction sort of work, working away from home, some of them are doing mining work. Whatever it does put a big strain on that family unit, that family relationship unit and the connection time that you have with them. So yeah, that's sort of my background. And that's actually where why I reached out to RDM was initially because routine had just gone out the window ultimately.

It's crazy, isn't it mate? Like how much routine can rule the day or rule the day in a positive light or absolutely crush you. And the next thing you know it's been months and years and it's like it just becomes reacting to life. And the chaos, it swallows any, any man whole. I don't care how strong they are, mate, you know, and that's. It's always hard when there's other moving parts like FIFO and trying to get into a routine, but get into a routine that creates and builds connection as well. When you're in, you're out, you're in, you're out. And then it's like, I don't say this, but we've got a lot of FIFO workers listening to this. But it's almost like you're not part of the family anymore, but then you are, but it's like, where am I? Where do I fit? And for a lot of guys, whether they're in a negative environment or not, I know construction, I've been in, I was in construction for some period of time installing pools for brothers when I was very young, doing that in my PT certain and chasing elite sport and all the crazy shit you can stack on top of each other when you think you can do it when you're young. But yeah, man, like working with some of those guys, it's not a very wholesome environment. Which is why it's very funny and fitting that you said, yeah, it doesn't seem to go together because of the awareness isn't there? And that's not pointing the finger at anyone in the construction industry. It's just as a whole, it's not a stigma, it's the reality of the energy out there. There's deadlines, there's shit to be done, there's physical exertion, there's some fucking high pressure shit. What was that like for you, mate? Like running a construction company with 65 employees, like. And I think from memory now I remember us chatting about it like you doing some big turnovers and we've got a few high profile fathers like yourself, mate, where it's like they're running big shows but fuck, how's the leader turning up? Like what is he doing to manage the stress? And what was that like for you, mate? What was happening there? Or what led to being a bit of a boil over, I guess. And it was a really challenging period for you?

Well, ultimately just a bit of background on that. I started with myself and two guys on the ground and within 18 months I had the 65 employees and I was working on a number of government jobs at the time. Gateway Arterial and the new Gateway Bridge was being built was when Brisbane was in that period of drought where they were, you know, they'll be building decel units and they were building recycled treatment plants. And so anyone that was in pipe work we had plenty of work on. So it was full on. And you know, obviously things grew quick. But the one thing that I did recognize was, you know, through that time not managing my stress was it was breaking down the immune system. I ended up with glandular fever, which I didn't find out I had until I had a blood test for something else. And it showed me I was in the recovery phase of glandular fever. I got meningitis and then I got some blood infection. That was when I got the second blood infection. Obviously as Australian men we don't always respond to the first warning. So it was the second time in hospital with some blood infection that they never really found out what was going on, that I thought, well, hang on, all things appear to look good externally, but my health is shot and I'm not, quite frankly, I wasn't enjoying it anymore. And when you're not enjoying running a business, it's hard to grow a business. Your mindset's got to be on the side of wanting to grow that business, wanting to make it something good rather than this is just a burden. I hate this, I'm not enjoying it. And that's where I was at. So that's sort of what that was a breaking point for me when I was in hospital for the second time because number one, I realized my mental attitude towards the whole thing was not good. Two, my health wasn't good and three, I just wasn't enjoying any of it. So for me, getting into meditation initially back then was all about de stressing, which it did do quite rapidly. I went from sleeping 12 hours a night to within 30 days sort of coming out of that and feeling, getting that energy back just through de stressing the nervous system. But for me back then it was all about, well, how do I de stress? How do I start to get good health back and get enjoyment back into everything. And so that was the beginning point of that and then moving through. Obviously other things have changed since then and I'm more doing consulting work and I was doing the FIFO work and running jobs that way. But through that period, realizing, well, hey, I'm not actually moving the body. I'm not giving it good nutrition. The old construction site in the old tradies breakfast is usually a pie and a nice coffee or a Red Bull, one or the other. But that's the tradie's breakfast on the way to work.

It's crazy how much is connected, isn't it, mate? Like, everything we do physically, it affects us mentally and how we feel. And I know I hammer that home a lot, but a lot of guys, they naturally neglect themselves in this area or they think that, say they work in construct and I'm physical or I sweat or, you know, I don't need to eat, so I'm doing intermittent fasting. All this shit that creeps in just to justify the position. And no one's different, mate. Like we. We all try and seek some sort of higher ground of excuse to cover up the bullshit in our life because you know what? We're getting pulled in every direction, Troy. We've got other fires, other shit to worry about, right? So don't worry about ourselves. And it was really, it was really cool to see that in our consult that we had way back when we're talking about creating space and when you shared the meditation side of things, I was like, yeah, but is that creating space? Because that's your business. You might enjoy it, might love it. And you say you do it three times a day. That's awesome. But I think the way that you would connect to creating space through meditation would be different to how I would purely because of the psychological attachment. And obviously, whether you're doing it with the people or not, with your clients or not, it is something that's ingrained in you as a service, essentially. And I remember that light bulb going off for you. But that's, you know, it's obviously the value of how we work together because that's something we've brought in as a, as a, like, as an introductory run for our tribe. And it's great, mate. It's something I see a huge value in, especially moving forward. So we're always Bouncing stuff off each other, which I love. And we're going to dive into that shortly with the. With the weekly template, what we go through there. But fifo, trying to reconnect with the family, you know, the challenges of the construction industry. How or why did you reach out to me? Because I remember it actually being an email. I was like, fuck, this bloke's pretty spoke's pretty direct. And I didn't quite read what your title was, but I saw something around meditation or something. And then straight away I was like, I wonder what? Like, I wonder whether, like, you're just reaching out to go, hey, fucking, I've got this. Do you want to, like, I actually had no idea because I don't think you booked in a console or anything. I'm pretty sure you just emailed me directly. Yeah, yeah. Not that you're pushing or chasing or any other sort of stuff. You're pretty direct and firm to the point was like, the fuck does this bloke want? Like, is he fucking. Is he taking the piss or is he serious? Like, I was. That was going through my head. I was like, I've never. It's no disrespect to all of our other members or anyone. Like, we've got a lot of members that they join after 12 months of following us. Some. Some are like, nah, this is it, Al, I'm straight in. But very rarely, Troy, do they pursue the way you did and follow it up. I get heaps of guys who contact me, man, I'm all in. This is it, this is it. Blah, blah. I can see it. I'm connected. I'm like, okay, well, these are the commitments, man. This is the energy required. These are the habits we need to change, like. And, yeah, you know, obviously a lot of them, they're not quite ready yet. But how and why, mate, is pretty interesting. Like, what. What led to that point for you personally? And then obviously, what was it that you attached to with us that led to you contacting me privately and then going from there?

Well, ultimately, what triggered it? All the old Facebook ads are coming through and I'd watched a couple, so then they come through more. So you watch a couple and I started to think about it and I thought, well, I am struggling in this one area at this point in time where I'm not moving, I'm doing FIFO work, I'm not doing exercise like I was doing prior to it, and my nutrition has gone out the door. It's very easy to go down to the pub and get a meal at the pub when you're the only one that you got to feed. So you go down there, you get a meal. Not that I would sit there and drink any beers or anything like that. I'd usually might have one beer with my meal or something like that. But it's size of the meal and you tend to eat everything that's on it. So things weren't going the way they should. And once again, I was falling into the habit of getting up in the morning and going down to the local cafe in town and grabbing a coffee and probably grabbing a bacon and egg burger. So nutrition was shot. And I recognize that I wasn't feeling good and I wasn't stepping in and doing things that I would normally do and enjoy them. Because the end of the day when our fitness starts to slip, and we touched on this once before, was if you want to, if you want to go for a paddle, if you want to jump on a ski and go for a paddle, or if you want to go for a surf, or if you just want to go for a walk and enjoy it, there's a certain level of fitness that needs to be there to enjoy it, or it's hard, it's difficult, you know, it's tiring and it's just not enjoyable. So I recognize that I was there and just a few of the things that I'd seen in your ads triggered me to think, hang on, I think you can help me with developing the right habits to get back on track in this area of my life. So that's what actually triggered the initial. And yeah, Ema, I'll email him. And this is what I want. And then we started the conversation, we had the consult and pretty much straight away went straight into signing up and got into it. And the journey so far, and we may touch on this a bit more, but as I said with the temples and the way those temples have developed over time, there's questions being asked that are highlighting other things. My focus initially was all about paradox, movement and nutrition. How do I get that back? Connection with the family recently with those questions in and around. How many times do you sit down with your family, have dinner? Now I've been home for five months and the recognition of not sitting down and having a meal and having to actually push zero for the week has created a habit now where we are sitting down three to four times and having a meal as a family again, now, that's only early days, but that's where it begins. And hopefully we can build that out to being more like five or six days a week where we were having a meal together. But these little things that are kicking in, they do highlight where you can improve. But number one for me has been I want to be able to go for a walk and enjoy it. I want to be able to climb the mountains and enjoy it. I know when I went with the boys, I think it was the 25th of September, we climbed the mountain and we did one, and then I was under the impression we were going for a coffee and getting breakfast straight after it. And the boys had other plans and we were climbing another mountain. I remember mentally how much I had to prepare myself once I realized that we had to climb that mountain and how difficult that was. And then, you know, it's just being part of that tribe and being part of the boy, you know, those boys joining in with them also sparks that it's created action for me to improve my fitness. And, you know, I'm climbing these mountains now and I'm enjoying it where initially I was doing it, but I was doing it pretty much. Like, I'm only doing this because I know it will make me better, but I'm not enjoying it.

So.

So ultimately, you know, there's a. There's a whole thing to RDM that is. It's not just the coaching side. It is with the tribe as well. You will see that the tribe, you know, the men within the tribe will back each other up and support each other to, you know, to better. Better themselves each week.

It's very valuable, mate, you know, having that bigger energy source. I couldn't agree more. And like, when we look at the four pillars, Alignment, energy, immersion and performance, like, yes, that the alignment's important. We need to know where we're going and why the energy. Well, that's a protocol that taps on mental and physical energy and having the capacity to perform in life and get the enjoyment back in what you're doing. Just what you're saying there, Troy. But the. The environment, which is immersion and performance, that's the coaching in the tribe. The largest energy source of everything is the tribe like it is. So the alignment. Okay, cool. That's the specificity of the A to B. Where are we going and why? The energy is the vessel that will get us there. The coaching is the directives and the pinpoint approach to Yield the greatest ROI. So what's the small? What's the 5% of what I do? That'll give 95% of the results. So individually we can organize our life, build the right habits appropriate for us and get us moving forward. But I fucking love the tribe, mate. Like, there is no way I would have developed and advanced this so much in just this year alone. What we're doing here, like, it's crazy, man. Even before you came on board, there's. There were massive changes. I mean, I can't believe we're coming to the end of the year. Like, it's just. It's savage. But I look over it, it's gone really quick. But also, I'm like, fuck, we've done some building, man. We've literally, towards the end of January, it was like, this is exactly what we're going to do. And we were building. We're like, everything. Even the, you know, the apps that you're using that we're all using, none of them were here. None of that was here. Didn't mean beforehand wasn't effective. We were very effective. But it's just that continual pursuit to grow and evolve that doesn't come down. Like, that doesn't happen because I've helped someone fix their energy. It doesn't happen because I'm giving this guy the right mindset or motivational tool to help one habit at home. It comes from as a collective, when I zoom out and go, how is the tribe going? What's the energy of the tribe? Like, what's the culture of the tribe like? What do these men want? What do they want to achieve? Where are they at? So specifically and individually, just like you and me right here and now, what do I need to do to help Troy win? But then the tribe, mate, is why I personally have evolved and we have evolved and improved what we do. It's really interesting though, mate, because when we did Cossie last year, I had. I had an E bike and we're pedaling up to get to the track was a nightmare, man. Like, it was road and it was high, you know, high incline. And I'm 110 kilos and, like, reasonably fit enough and strong. Like, I'm strong and in good shape, but not, you know, I haven't ridden a bike for 30Ks up and down hills and tracks. And, like, I haven't conditioned myself for the ride, but I knew I had the legs in me in the background. But I got an E bike for fun because I'd never used it before. So the E bikes are like fucking 20 or 30 kilos heavier. So I'm pushing on this fucking thing. It looks like it's on. It doesn't make the sound because I don't know, I've never ridden one before. The sound that it should. And my legs were fucking jacked. And I was towards the back of the pack because we're helping a few of the boys get up and running and made them ride and going. What you probably experienced at the mountain, personally, not to be arrogant, but one is because I haven't gone outside my comfort zone, but two, with health and fitness, I haven't felt that for a long time. Like footy pre season where I'm like, I don't know if I'll make this. I don't know if I'll pass out. Like, I used to have that sometimes with footy. Preseason it was that extreme. You know, Penrith, the old dust bowl and 40 degree heats and just getting flogged with burpees and sprints. I had that feeling when I was riding up and the thing wasn't turned on and one of the guys like, turn it off and on again and then it whizzed up. I was like, fuck, you're away. And I was flying on it. It was working again. But when I had that feeling, mate, it was. I don't know if you felt the same. I'm not saying that this might be different to how you felt with that second mountain, but obviously you got up there, you got ahead. But it's the vulnerabilities we're exposed to which almost become passive, not active, because it's thrust upon us all of a sudden where I actually. I was angry, mate. Like, I was really. I was angry. I was like, motherfucker. Like, you've got big legs, you're an elite athlete for so long, yes, you're helping the guys at the back, but you should be fucking pushing forward and driving this thing home. You're in so much more pain and you're tapping out on me. Like, that's what I was saying to my mindset, which is usually obviously very resilient. I was actually really disappointed, mate. Like, even when the E bike kicked in, I was like, I was really disappointed. I was like, you're a fucking weapon, man. And you've let yourself go to your standards of where I'm at. And it does play, it does play on, it does take the enjoyment out of it, like you said. I guess I was just. I don't know if that felt familiar with you, mate, but a lot of guys would be in that case, wouldn't they, in that position where that's the case in their, in their 40s, you know, they've lost that physical prowess that they had because they're either athletes or fit or healthy and strong and then they try and kick the ball with their, with the young bloke or you know, play around with some gymnastics in the backyard with the girls and they just fucking fall in a heap. It wasn't a good feeling, man. I don't know if that's something you were experiencing before you joined, but.

Oh, definitely, mate, like. And you hit the nail on the head. I think as fathers, I think, you know, in my instance as a grandfather getting out with the, you know, the five year old grandson and kicking the ball, you want to enjoy it, to enjoy it. You got to have a level of fitness to enjoy it. So the work that you do on keeping yourself fit and keeping the nutrition up is all about just keeping that enjoyment. When I did the climb with the mountain, it was a great thing what the boys did that day. They were always supporting you on the way up. But what it made me realize was, hang on, these boys are enjoying it a hell of a lot more than I am. This is me killing me. I'm not enjoying it at all, but I'm not going to let it beat me. I'm going to get to the top. But what it did, it sparked me to say, well, hang on, I can be doing a lot better for myself here, you know, and I, I can, next time we do do a mountain together, I can enjoy it more. And, and, and that's the true key. Anything that we're doing with, with our, you know, keeping our health and fitness up, keeping that energy level up is so we can step into life and enjoy it, enjoy kicking the football, whether it be, you know, grandkids, whether it be your own kids, you know, enjoy, enjoy the time at the beach. Like if you go in there and you know, for me I'm usually putting my grandson on the boogie board and helping him push, you know, push him on the waves and stuff like that. It's me being in there and being able to enjoy that moment because I'm not out of breath, I'm not struggling, pushing against the rips, the tide, the movement of water because you're not fit enough. It's just keeping that level of fitness so that anything you step into you can just enjoy. And you don't need to be the elite athlete to do that. You just need to have a level of fitness. Brings the enjoyment back because what you put in does return, it returns in fitness. Same with the tribe. Like, you know, you join in and you're active with the tribe, the tribe gives back you know, like it's all. It all works. What you're prepared to put into it, it will always return.

It's primal too, isn't it, mate? Like, when I look at physical health and wellbeing, it's such a primal part of us that we should leverage that, whether it's tracking numbers, hikes, nature, exerting ourselves. Look, I love exercise and training, Troy. And yes, it does bring presence. I mean, that's a big thing for a lot of fathers. They can't be present because there's too much mess going and too much noise. Is why I like writing. You can never write as fast as you think. It's literally impossible. It's like 50 to 1. But exercise and training, it actually brings you to be present. But the question is, and I made a note of this because it's important, what kind of presence are you experiencing? So for one guy, it's enjoyment. For another guy like yourself, within that circumstance. And you've improved, Temple, I think you're saying, before we hit record that you've halved your time and that's fucking epic, man. And you're enjoying it more. But it wasn't. So even for some of you guys who are exerting yourselves or doing things, yes, you're present. What kind of presence are you experiencing? And what I love most about the fitness element that you're talking and describing here, and I guess for me as well, which I don't really think about much until I do these sorts of sessions with our members and our episodes, like we do here, is the threshold that builds. If I can build a high threshold and tolerance, and I'm in the gym and I'm working hard and I'm pushing to X amount of exertion for X period of time. And that brings me a huge threshold of. Let's say my red line's up here. I've got a massive sweet spot to enjoy anything that involves movement at all up to that point. So because I'm healthy and fit and strong, I've got three energy sources I'm trying to deplete when I'm at the beach. I've got Roman, who's crawling, but he's walking, but he's walking and crawling on the beach. But, you know, he's. Obviously, I've got to be a lot more aware of him from a safety point of view down near the water. I've got Stella and Lillian that are just flying. Stella's doing nippers and she's a weapon on the sand. So, like, I'VE got three energy sources, but I can do that and enjoy and laugh and throw them up and I've got a huge gas tank to fly. Because what I do in the gym with my health and fitness and obviously my nutrition is. I've built that sweet spot because my threshold is up here. That's invaluable, mate. Like, you can't. Who could put a price on that? Like, you are. It is. Literally, it becomes binary, doesn't it? For some experiences, whether you kick in the footy with the young bloke down at the oval, or whether you're not, you know, whether you're walking with the kids or whether you're running next to them when they're learning how to ride a bike. Like this shit's.

Yeah.

It really is reality creating, isn't it?

It is. It is, mate. And I think that's what people miss, you know, as a general rule, they think they don't have the time to put into themselves and keep a level of fitness, but it's highly critical to the whole enjoyment of life and just being able to step into those moments and enjoy them in their full and being present. Because I can tell you now, if you're not enjoying it, you're not present in that moment because you back on yourself saying, probably being pretty critical on yourself that you can't join into the max. And when I say the max, it's not killing yourself the max, it's being able to enjoy that moment with the kids. Even if you be by yourself and climbing a mountain or going to the gym and doing your thing, the more you're into it and you enjoy it, the more present you are. You're not putting yourself, you know, you're not looking at yourself saying, I'm not enjoying this. Yeah, that's taken you away from what you're doing at that point in time.

Couldn't agree more. The tribe, health and wellbeing, you know, love having you as a member, mate. Definitely leading the charge with the crew. And it's awesome. Like you said, you give, you take. And that's what I love about this most. And having that large energy source that's bigger than any one individual, including myself. But how. How have you found your journey so far and what do you think it's helped you with most, Troy?

Well, there's really two areas that it's helped, obviously. Getting, you know, get. Getting the fitness back. Nutrition is far better now than what it was like. Wasn't really paying any attention to nutrition. You know, I'd lost All the, all the good habits that I once had, and sometimes they're hard to bring back unless you got that, you know, that guidance. And as you were saying, like the apps and the tracking and all that sort of stuff, that's a key point. When you begin to track yourself, you see holes, you see where you're going wrong, and you can. You can adjust and they're being critical. But, you know, obviously getting that nutrition back, getting the movement, you know, just getting back into the gym and. And I've, you know, I've steadily built up, you know, look, I think when I initially got the watch and started to, you know, have a look at heart rates, my resting heart rate was in the 80s. That's. It's now in the low 60s. Yeah, I like. And that's just doing the work daily, that 1% and just making sure. The bigger thing that I track now is doing my best. I don't always hit it, but more often than not I do is 10,000 steps. Without the watch, you're not tracking that. So these little things that have been included into my day because of starting the program and getting involved in it, they're little things, but they really get you on the right track and get you on the path. They start to get you looking at your nutrition. They get you looking at, how many steps am I doing a day. If I was to sit at this desk and just work all day and not be concerned about my steps, I'd be lucky to hit 1500 steps. And those steps would be going to, you know, going to the kitchen, getting. Getting something to eat. It wouldn't actually be exercise focused. So, you know, I made sure that I get a walk in a day. You know, I also, I don't get to the gym every day, but I'm getting to the gym three to four times a week now. You know, on top of all that, you know, so these little things that, you know, being created and as I said, the tribe, the boys sparked me up. When we climbed that mountain, that was a really good day for me because it made me say, well, okay, I can be better than this. And they showed me how I could be better. Really, they were doing the work. I wasn't quite doing the work that was required to get up that mountain comfortably. So it sparked it in me to do that. And obviously, just step by step, that 1%. What I said earlier on about sitting there and looking at a question which you guys have developed, that question wasn't there a few months ago, but it is now. How many Times do you sit down and have dinner with the family? Zero. The second week. Zero. Hang on. I need to change this and bring that connection back to the family unit. So not always all about health and fitness. It was for me at the beginning, but it did highlight that. Okay, I'm not putting enough effort into that connection with the family. So.

What I love, mate, is intricacies of, you know, the end result is what you're sharing here. Right. With intricacies of when we, when we look at this and we go through even without our weekly temple stuff, you know, as I'm, I'm just having a quick look at it now, like, what you're sharing is the end result, but the intricacies of this is to, I guess, regardless of what someone thinks of the term gamify, but we are essentially gamifying the process or connecting that competitive drive as a man to pull the right levers to go like what you said then I've hit zero twice. That means there's no way I'm going to get in the 80s for my total hpf score for the week out. I want to fucking get in the 80s. This is what I need to do. Which means when guys join, and I can see this here now, like when I'm looking at the data, like we've got guys who will be, you know, between 30 and 40, they're in the red zone. Well, of course they are. That's why they joined. So it's like, okay, well, your goal is to get up to 60, get back in the yellow or the orange into yellow zone. And the way that you do that, by looking at this, you've got your performance score, your habit score, your energy score, your connection score. You've got those four areas. The one that's lacking the most is connection. Okay, well, let's build on that. Let's build some habits around it so it actually makes it so direct without being clinical or cold to go, well, yeah, that's the question, Troy, like, how many times did you sit down with the family? Okay, how many days did you spend quality time with the kids? What did you do with them? So one of these guys will list two. Fantastic. He's a new member. Bike ride, outdoor play, another1list 5. Went to a community event, listened to the music, talked, we cuddled and watched kids TV and reading practice. When you see this, it's not even so much a reflection. This is what I'm curious as your thoughts. And then as we dive into reflection and being present with your meditation business, what I Love about these questions is you're doing this at the end of the week, so it's measurements of after the fact, but it's a reflection of what facts were true. Too often, like you said, mate, there are big holes in the game that aren't even addressed or they're swept under the rug. When guys don't look for the facts, they live in the land of fluff. We should do another episode. I know I've done this before. We shoot another one called Fucking facts or Fluff. I. I can't. I don't know why. I, like, I'm not, you know, these are my calories. Like, yeah, but have you put it in my fitness power? Like those four Tim Tam, that's 500 calories, man. Like, you're having. You say you're just having a coffee, but it's a latte with one sugar, full, cream, milk. Neither of those two could be bad. But the problem is, Troy, if we don't collectively bring as many facts as we can to the table. Like you said, there's big holes that go unaddressed or unaware, but when you recognize them, you know exactly where you stand, which means, okay, I know where I stand. So now I can move from here to here. Otherwise, like, okay, there's my point B. Yeah, but where's point A? Like, where's point B? Is it left, right, uptown? Like, they just don't know. But what are your thoughts on, I guess the, you know, not the temple as much as, I guess, the specificity of the questions and how they're layered for a man as a whole, with connection, energy, performance habits?

Oh, mate, they really do. When, when you, if you sit down and, you know, there is some honesty in, in those questions, you got to be honest with yourself. You know, that's part of owning up to where you're at. You know, I recently know that even with the app, you know, putting in the app that I ate some corn chips. And I know I've told you corn chips are my biggest, you know, that's. That's my go to if I'm gonna eat something that's not right. But realizing that 30 grams of corn chips now is about 170 calories. That's not even a handful of corn chips. You'd eat half a bloody chip packet and wonder why you're not losing weight. So it really does highlight these things. But so do the questions in weekly temples they will address. Okay, well, look at your energy. Let's start to look at, you know, where your energy is really at. And if you're true and honest with yourself, it will begin to show where you can improve. Are you creating space for yourself? Because actually getting out and creating a bit of space and having that thinking time is vitally important. I know when you and I did talk and, you know, I said, yeah, well, I'm meditating three. Three times, four times a day. But I was. I was meditating with my clients, and it's a business. And no, that wasn't really. That's not where my space is created. My space is created by going to the gym, going for, you know, for the walk in nature and climbing the mountains. That's where I create my space where a lot of people would be able to create space in meditation. Those are the things that begin to highlight, you know, it's. It's the time spent with your partner, you know, as you call it, honey and handsome time, if you're honest with yourself. And I will say it's the only one that doesn't have seven. There's not a. There's only four in the week. The best you can hope for is four.

Four plus four plus. Yes.

So, you know, it's. It's. You know, it's looking at that and going, well, hang on. We didn't allocate any time together this week, you know, so those questions as you go through them, and if you are completely honest with yourself, we'll show you exactly where you need to start to bring your awareness and focus on improvement.

And it's. It's really mastering, like, mastery, actually mastering your journey. But this is a journey of mastery. You know, like, I. I pride myself on living and breathing the embodiment of the message that we all. We all carry, so we all live and breathe it. But, you know, man, I'm never going to be one that wants to be sitting here as a hypocrite. Like, you see too often in the world. I'm like, no, no, I'm. I'm doing it as well and just missing the mark on creating space and honey and handsome time this week for me gave me a score of 82. And I'm like, well, I had a great week last week, Troy, but I can see if that happened two or three or four weeks in a row. All of a sudden I just feel a little bit like the missus is busy and she's looking after kids and I'm busy. It's like, hey, when's the last time we sat down and there's a few little frustrations or, you know, and Then all of a sudden I'm not creating space, I'm a little bit more triggered and you know, it could be 10 minutes a day, but I'm not even giving myself that. And then we're under the pump and we've got a monstrous amount of guys applying. And so I'm looking after work as best I can, but then trying to make sure the culture of the tribe's looked after, trying to keep healthy and fit, and all of a sudden it's like, fuck, I'm straight back in the pit. And it's like you drop from 82% all of a sudden you don't even do a temple. You don't even do a weekly temple to reflect on where you're at. And I can't imagine like this is, this is just me painting a picture. If I don't stay sharp at the top of my game, which I will, but not dropping below 80%, what the alternative is, which there is none, I won't allow that. Which means this gives me the ability to course correct. How many guys don't have like micro. Sometimes it's bi weekly, so there's a midweek adjustment and other times it's just a weekly one. And then there's obviously our monthly tabs. What's our monthly target that we want to hit? But imagine over the years, mate, 10 years of those micro ones, even if it's once a week, there's 50, bang. There's 500 slight tweaks, slight course corrects that aren't even aware of. There's not even known, let alone acknowledge, addressed, looked at, attempted. It's like, no, this is just fucking life. Like it's crazy, man. Like, what do you think that, I mean, your experience, obviously you work with a lot of people and the meditation business is a great one for creating space, I guess, for them. And realignment, presence and other moving parts that so many people need. But like what? Missing 10 year period, missing 500 slight course correctments, course correcting and readjustments. What do you see as one of the chronic issues that we face, especially fathers entering or in the second half of life when it comes to their families, their work, themselves and their bodies and minds?

Really what fathers end up purely focusing on is bringing in that income. The second half, if you're not looking after yourself first, then everything else, everything else is not getting what they should. You know, whether that be your partner, whether that be your kids, grandkids, whatever it is. Even if you got your business, if you're not looking after yourself Your business isn't getting 100% of you. And so the course corrections, if. If you're just doing what you've always.

Done.

The result, if that result is getting worse, meaning your physical health isn't where it should be, then the result is going to end up on the negative side every time. Where, if you're looking at, where can I improve all the time? Where can I. Where can I make this time for my partner? Where can I make time for my kids? Where can I make sure that we are sitting down? Where can I get my time? Create that space. Get out and go for a walk. The best thing with creating space for yourself is the thinking time that you have to be able to process stuff and come up with new ideas to do things better. You know, start to look at, you know, those little things. Because those little things that you do, as I said to you before, you know, four times we sat down last week and had a meal together.

That's.

That hasn't been done for a long time. If the question wasn't asked, there would have been no real awareness to it. The awareness to change it. The awareness was probably there that we weren't doing it, but we hadn't made the effort to change it. So bringing that awareness to it, to create change, is a vital thing to that improvement. And if you're not doing it, I can guarantee you the second half of life, you're not going to win it. You're going to end up in a position where you're unwell, you're unhealthy, you're not enjoying, you're not getting out and kicking the football with the grandkids, your own kids, whatever that is, and just enjoying that moment. Because that's what it's all about, is being able to enjoy it and be present in that moment to enjoy it.

Great point, mate. Really solid point. I hope this is hitting home for a lot of you guys listening to this or watching it. Like, what is the point of anything if there is no level of fulfillment or enjoyment or reward during and after. Maybe before because there's anticipation for positive change, but definitely during and after, upon reflection, you know, like, emotions will ignite, that'll ignite the spark. And I get that, Troy. Like, I'm a very emotionally driven man, but as soon as that spark's ignited where there's some sort of emotional attachment, it's just fucking facts and actions. Like facts and actions. So there was an emotional spark inside and said, hey, I haven't sat down and had dinner with the family. For a while. And obviously there's something deep inside. It's like. Whether it's the old family nucleus or what it's like. Well, there should be a time when we're. We connect through food. Like food is a cultural thing, but we connect and we're spending this time. And regardless of the outcome of it itself, whether there's a bit of resentment from the kids, I just want to watch tv, blah, blah, the emotional attachment is there. All right, let's create a fact. The action will lead to that fact. But then when you're there, which I'm sure I'm open to your thoughts, but when you're there, then the opportunity presents because the positions change. You are all sitting there. So there's a sentence or a question or some dialogue or an answer or a revelation or a share from one of the kids at schools or a share from the misses. All of a sudden there's an environment which provides opportunity for something where it otherwise isn't even born or created into being. That's what I love most. And this is the thing people don't understand. They think of this law of attraction, all this sort of stuff. They don't quite get it. Maybe some of the wizards at the top didn't communicate it properly. I don'. Obviously there's universal laws tied into it, but this is what people don't understand. Opportunities that you don't even know exist will present themselves when you take the application to, well, the awareness, like you said, to then apply action to create positive changes in your life and lead. Without that, Troy, I wouldn't even be here speaking to you, mate. No way. I'd still be running the gyms and trying to do everything. Like I left the gym to die. Like I got someone else who just managed it. I hardly went there anymore. 2018 went all in on RDM and I'll make. The rest is history. I don't have gyms anymore. And the opportunities it's presented, it's crazy. You can't even think it, as creative as we are, until you put yourself in that position. But is that what you see being a likely outcome not just for what yourself and you're going through now, but for a lot of guys who start to square away things that make life whole and get that enjoyment back again?

Oh, definitely, mate. It's a. That's a key factor. You made a valid point then about when you're sitting around the table. It leads to other opportunities. I mean, the conversations that we're having around the table are all about How? Because the likes of Demi, she's 26 and Kai, he's 18. So you know, and we've got the grandson there as well, he's five. But the conversation is about well, what do you want to do in life? Where do you want to go? And it's starting to talk about what they want to do and how can we help you do that? Where if we weren't sitting down and having dinner those conversations wouldn't be had. So it is becoming aware and making those subtle changes and seeing the opportunities that do peel off that without a doubt, that's a valid point you made before about that. What can be created when we do make, we make. Bring awareness to one thing, make one change there. What that opens up to.

I'm curious mate. I'd love for you to share a bit on your meditation business. What do you see with that? Because it's like we brought you in for some introductory stuff for the guys which was cool. We do have a special like yoga class once a month with Pete Mahon who's Aussie as it's not bikinis and things. He's. I really like Pete, he's just so, so Aussie and down the line. But he's, he's into yoga and, and he's a gun and it lived in India for years and all that sort of. And just a weapon. But like, what are the benefits? Like what do you see? Because this is something where even you talking about your meditation business is going to help some of these guys realize that, hey, the way that some things, and you and I both know that the way that certain things are commercialized, especially in the health and wellness space, I think comes at the cost or it specifically hones in on one type of person. But you shouldn't shunt away at the word yoga or meditation. Not, not proper, not true, not done. But what are your experiences, mate? You know, in, in terms of like what we're talking about here. Yes, action, health, fitness, well being even for you, your mindset is, is, you know, going in leaps and bounds. It's all connected. But what are some of the benefits that you see with people who go through and do their, their, you know, their streamlined meditation with you? What are the benefits you see and could you see similarities in that converting to what a middle aged father actually needs as well?

Oh definitely mate. It's really where the main thing that will happen at the beginning of any meditation and understanding the difference between the stylized technique based meditations that are out there today, a focus on the breath A meditation in and around guidance. These are really focus and relaxation techniques. And they have their benefits. I'll never say they won't. There are some things out there that people are doing that just don't have any benefit at all. But that's just the way the world is. But when you begin to understand where to turn your awareness and transcend the mind which transcends just a word, go beyond and let's go beyond that current state of consciousness that we experience, which is waking level. And your mind is already quiet. Mind works off the law of polarity, Laura. Polarity just states that everything must have an equality, an exact opposite. So we can't have a hot without a cold, up without a down back without a front. Can't have a busy conscious, level thinking mind that most people are experiencing without equally having a still quite well rested mind. And as you would know, mate, when you. When you set something in stone, intention, that sort of thing, the mind moves to that place. Then the body starts to move into action and takes action on that experience. When the mind transcends to that quiet level of thinking, the body can do nothing but fall into a deep state of rest. This state arrest is a consolidated state of rest that allows stress. And we're talking deep accumulated stress and tension. The nervous system is like a sponge. It will absorb stress throughout our lifetime. And in a lot of cases, this causes us to have these habits that we have today. So it's all embedded in the nervous system. That's our memory. That's where it's all memorized and it's locked in. So what begins to happen is that begins to unwind when you're in this deep state of rest, the unwinding of that stress. There's a couple of things. Number one, it's de stressing the nervous system. Number two, that subconscious program that everybody refers to as a paradigm, which is just a program that we're not really aware of. And we're doing things like we know that, okay, we should be exercising, we should be eating correctly, and next minute we're having a piece of cake.

Hello.

And we'll be halfway through the cake before we even realize that's a subconscious program creating that where you just go to it without any true awareness. And it's the same as if you pick up your pants and you go to put your. You normally put your left leg in. If you stop for a second to put your right leg in. How much that takes to actually think about and do shows how programmed we truly are. So what this is doing is unwinding those programs so then you can set a new one. So, you know, the stuff that we do at RDM becomes more powerful when you're coming from a space where that old program is being shifted out and you're able to impress the new habits, the new processes and start to develop the new program for success. So that's really what it's doing. And when I talk about stress, without a doubt I will say this. There's no more powerful way and no quicker way to release deep accumulated stress and tension off the nervous system and the transcendent mind. If you know how to do it correctly, you get very quick results in de stressing that nervous system, which then allows you, as I said, to start to set this new program in a de stressed nervous system so you're not reacting to things like you once did. You start to respond more.

And itself just helps me relax, Troy. Just listening to that, mate, I'm in a more relaxed state. It's crazy, isn't it man? Like we, I love, yeah, love everything you just said then. And what's crazy is not everything you just said then, it's that especially mothers as well. But you know, we're, we're here talking about fathers and we're here for the men. Listening to this and watching it, you'll spend 50, 50 odd weeks of the year tying your rope up in knots. And you think that you can just untie them by going to a different location or kicking back and staying at a resort or you know, going fucking caravanning for a week or going to the beach, but you normally live in the mountains or vice versa. And instead of having this continual, as effective as it is, Troy, this continual refinement inside of yourself to just unwind everything. And when I say refinement, that's, you know, maybe we could use other words, but it, it is like how many people do you think don't even know about themselves? Like, you got to learn. Like you're learning about yourself. What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What does this equal when I do this? This equals that. Like it's refined mastery. What we said before, refining who you are as a human being. So you can go out and perform, you can go out and express and live and create experiences and execute on what you need to, what you want to perform. You can produce, you can do fucking all of those things. They're all the same thing, just different words. But it's very powerful, mate. Like, how would you say this, this sort of stuff, meditation and creating I know I say creating space, but that meditation and the technique itself. Well, how many guys do you think need this? Probably. Probably all of them.

It's one of those things definitely, definitely everyone would benefit from. There's no doubt about that. And most people have some form of accumulated stress, stress that's on the nervous system you don't even know about. As I said, that's the beginning point of it. That's. Usually you really notice a difference within 30 days of unwinding stress. But when you begin to unwind stress off the nervous system, your response and your reaction to everything is different. You're not, you know, you're not. You're not in that. That reactive mode. You know, the kids say something like, you, you. And. And I know this from personal experience of sitting there when I was running my company pre meditation. You'd be sitting there, the kids be in front of you, they'd be doing their thing. But the inner dialogue that was going on about you worrying about your business and thinking about this and thinking about that, you wouldn't even be aware that they were there, and then they would drop something. And your reaction to that was there before you were even aware that you'd reacted. So being able to have that gap between everything that's happening in your environment and being able to come from a place that your environment does not govern the way you think, feel, or act is very powerful place to begin from. And that is what meditation. And when I say meditation, there are many meditations that won't do that. There are very few that will give you that. Where you can start to come from that place where that nervous system is de stress to the point where your internal environment, external environment does not govern the way you think, feel, and act. From there, using systems of success become far more powerful because you're not, you know, the environment's not allowing you to shift your judgment, your perception, your thinking process of where you want to go, what you want to achieve.

They're very powerful from the inside out.

Yep.

I love it. Troy. Where could guys find more info? Some of those listening to this, who would be interested, where would they go to find more info about what it is that you do with the Streamlined meditation? It.

StreamlineYourMind.com is the best place to start. That's, you know, we have, we have a lot of information on, on that website in and around meditation, and we also have streamlinemeditation.com as well. So those two websites will give abundance of information and understanding of really what makes us different. Yeah, Love it.

Been a great session, mate. I guess just to wrap up on Troy, I'd love to just get some of your advice and guidance for guys listening to this who may have been in your shoes, where you were, you know, not that long ago in the construction industry or through the stresses of life. What you're going through poor routines or lacking that connection with the family, FIFO or not. We've got plenty of FIFO guys who listen to this. But, you know, putting the enjoyment back into life, what would be like, what would be something just to help guys? If there's an action or a piece of advice or a tool just to get some of these guys listening to this or watching it, just to start ticking things over in their head or get moving in the right direction. Like what would be, I guess the best cure, advice or piece of advice that, that you would love to pass on. As we wrap this up.

Definitely have a look at the results that you're getting. I mean, if you're listening to this information, you're on the right path. You're starting to bring self awareness to what you want to change. There's obviously something not quite right and you want something better out of life. So you're on the right path there by listening to this. But then you've got to take action. And the action that should be taken is start looking at the results that you aren't happy with and then have conversations with the people that can start to show you how to change those and start to measure that change. Because a critical thing you might, you know, in some instances it might be you want to lose some weight now, you might lose 4 kilos in a month, but it feels like you're not getting anywhere. You stand there, you might, you look, look at the scales every day. Oh, you know, nothing much is happening. You look in the mirror, nothing much is happening. I'm sore, I'm this, I'm that. But realistically, four kilos a month, you start to look at, you know, 2 months, 8 kilos, 3 months, 12 kilos, it's those 1 percenters that start to make the difference. And being in around a group that can get you to see that, hey, yeah, you're moving in the right direction. And understand this, it's taken a long time for you to get to where you're at, allow yourself the time to get back to where you want to be or where you feel you should be. So it's taking that action. And nothing beats taking action. You can look at your results, you can think about Doing something better. But unless you take those steps and start to take the action towards where you want to go and start to tap into the resource that's going to get you there, nothing's going to change.

Love it, mate. Very solid point there. Like, you've given yourself plenty of time. Like if you spent plenty of time fucking yourself up. Yeah, Give yourself the time to rewire, repattern and rebuild. On that note, not that, I mean, it's one of the easiest ones to measure, but poor reflect on, but we're one of our guys. 18 years, we calculated it and he was massive. Like, he put on all the weight. We worked out the averages because you talk about a kilo a week or four kilos a month, worked out the averages, he'd averaged 70 grams a week. That's all he'd put on, Troy. That's all he put on. And he was 150 kilos. Like, he was fit. Amazing shape, start of 2000, you know, 105, 110 kilos of muscle. Then he was, you know, what has ended up being, you know, three and a half kilos thereabouts a year, I guess. 70 grams, 52 weeks. So roughly, might have been 50 grams, but that over 18 years, like there's 45 kilos yet. So we're willing to sweep. Sweep it under the rug or turn a blonde eye when we're slowly destroying ourselves, then all of a sudden we want to improve ourselves. That's not quick enough, not good enough. Oh, man, are we crazy creatures, man. Like, it's. It's so funny. But like you said, meditation is important. They're not taking the time out to rule the roost of their own lives. They're letting the external environment, whether it's social media or these social media kings and queens with fucking abs guys on the gear juice. This is what you should be. This is the body aesthetics, Men's Health magazine. All this shit's continuously telling them, if you're not this, you're a failure, if you're not this, you're a failure. But most of the times is with superficial points of measurement and it's not even the same person. Like, you've got your life, I've got my life, that fucking fitness model's got his life. And most of them are on PEDs anyway. And it's like, well, killing themselves. Like we're killing ourselves by not taking that time to adopt exactly what you said there. Giving yourself the time again. But awesome session, mate. I really enjoyed it. I hope you enjoyed it as well. And you guys listening but loved having you on Troy and really appreciate the shares and some of the wisdom and insights that you've given us today as well. Mate.

Cool, mate, thanks for it. Good, good time. Beautiful.

Awesome. Hope you guys enjoyed this as well. Make sure you tune in if you are listening to this or on our YouTube channel. You know, look at, look it up, look up. What are those two sites again, Troy?

Streamlinemeditation.com and streamlineyourmind.com look into it fellas.

Some great stuff there. It's all about pulling the pieces together that's going to apply the greatest ROI for you in your life. Maybe it's not going on a 28 day dad bod challenge or that sort of shit. Maybe it's not, you know, necessarily seeing a psychologist or life coach or it's, it's neither right or wrong. It's like what do you need? What's going to connect to you? And more often than not with exactly what Troy explained here, it's just, it's one of the most powerful assets we can have in today's world, mate. It's stopping the chaos, slowing down the world and just taking time out for you again. Thanks Troy. Thanks guys. Hope you enjoyed this and I'll see you soon. 1,000 minutes a day, it's a lot. But when you're wasted on shit that doesn't serve you or move yourself or your family forward, you are bleeding the most valuable resource that you and I never get back. How much time do you think you have and how much quality do you think you've had? Don't be a fool like the masses thinking you'll cheat the system or get round to a it one day or worse. Just accepting life and sinking back into a slumber of regret. This is your moment, your time. You're cut from a different cloth. You have the hunger and desire to be more and live more. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. So stand up. Find the golden nuggets. In this episode you just listened to and align immediate action with them and where you want to go. You are worthy. This is your life. You are the king and this is your kingdom. Now go and claim it by showing, not telling and be the real leader. You and I both know you were born to be.