16. Creatures Of Habit

So everywhere from wearing the same pair of undies, not every day, the same pair of undies every week. When I played rugby league, they were my lucky undies. And there are a fair few of the boys that were like that had had their own pair of undies. Of course, not mine. And everywhere from there to the way I taped my socks, the way I did my shoelaces, where I put my mouth guard when I was warming up. We are creatures of habit. Creatures of habit and ones that sometimes aren't aware of those habits, especially the ones that don't appear to service at the time. But that's what we're diving into today. G', day, boys and girls. Welcome to Real Dad Movement Podcast. This is your host, the one, the one and only Big Al coming at you. I wanted to dive in today and talk about habit, power of habit, power of routine. And it's quite funny how it really can implement itself into our lives without us knowing at times. And on the flip side, ways in which we can actively pursue the best forms and habits that can serve you to be better and to move forward. Because that's what life is, isn't it? It's a series of present moments. And what we want to do is we want to take the cream off the top. Take. Take the cream off the top of every experience we've had in the past and somehow incorporate. Excuse me, Incorporate and replicate. Say those two words together five times really fast. Incorporate and replicate those key moments of your life that serve you the best, the ones that you love the most, the ones that bring you, more often than not, in a state and a position in a life filled with experiences that you enjoy or that give you meaning or that give you purpose. Everything's purpose. Purpose is number one, the P word. It's the king. It's the captain, coach, mvp. And sometimes we don't have purpose with the habits that we have in place, we don't see purpose. We don't understand what purpose therein lies in some of the habits that we form. Shape up, mold, defend, protect in our life without questioning and asking why. What is the purpose? What is the point? That's where we're about to dive in today. And that was something that really inspired me from our chat with Cam. If you haven't had a chance, guys, check out our earlier podcast, last episode with Cameron, the wizard of feet and shoes. Man, that guy, he had some great stuff and really helped me, especially with our children. And what's so important. Like, it's what grounds us without using that As a pun, it literally is the connection between everything we do, virtually everything we do, unless you're hanging from a bar doing gymnastics, but virtually everything we do in relation to gravity. And that's so important, guys, because gravity is relentless and never ends. And what Cam really touched on was the routines, rituals, and habits that he has in his life and that he adopts in his life to help him be a father, a businessman, a husband, and an athlete as well. He's an athlete. He's got a coach, he's got programming. He works well, he works hard. He's not where he wants to be, but none of us are, nor should we be, because we haven't experienced what's in front of us. To know what is there or what should be there, that's not a riddle as well. There's no joker here from Batman. I hope what I said makes sense. So talking about that. And it's funny, when I dive into some of those things in my life, like footy, I had the same routine all the time, the same stretching, put my shoes on the same water, left foot, right foot, did it a certain way, taped it a certain amount of times, three rounds each. Wore the same pair of undies, washed them every week. Like I said, disclaimer. Nothing gross or dirty here, guys. And did almost the exact same routine all the time. And you see it a lot. Not just me, you see it a lot with performers, with people who aren't even performers or aren't even athletes or in sports in their own life. I'll question you. I'll give you this question right now, guys. You tell me. Do you dry yourself the exact same way when you get out of the shower every single day, morning or night, or both? I bet you do. 99% of you. I'm sure you do. Dry the hair first. Left shoulder, right shoulder, down to the arm, left leg, right leg, back, chest. Whatever order you do. But I'm sure you do the exact same order. We are creatures of habits, and it's habits that really, whether we're aware of them or not, form up the experiences we have and the life that we have. Now, you can break habit, break routine, and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with spontaneity. And certainty and uncertainty lies in both areas of habit and routine. And not having a habit and routine, but looking at certain things and asking, the purpose of what do they mean is more important, I feel, than the habit itself. Because when you get a clear understanding of what that habit is, then you can make inroads you can create a pathway, you can make steps towards. Really validating, justifying. Got to be careful with those words, finding out if it serves you or not, if it really works for you. Does this work for me? Is this helping me? Is this improving my life? Is this moving me to where I want to get to? What? Or is this a hindrance and I need to change this? And I'll talk about the three sort of the cycle of a habit and the three steps that usually form up the experience that comes from that habit. But it's funny because I look at it and even I've written some notes here, like with CrossFit, the mobility that I do exactly the same. It's the same routine. If I'm working lower body, I'll do like a rotational thing with my ankle first, improve ankle mobility range, and then I'll floss both ankles. So that's a compression band for those who don't know, freeing up all the tissue and different types of tissue under the skin. I'll do a podcast on mobility. Absolutely. One day, guys, and give you my 2 cents worth on mobilizing the acid under the skin in between the layers of the fascia and muscle. Very incredible stuff, incredible stuff. But I do all that same. My barbell lifts exactly the same. I step up to the bar, left leg, right leg, thumbs out, mark the line where we have the knurling on the bar. Thumb length, usually away. Grip and rip, baby. I'll do that with all my lifts. And it's funny, there are a lot of habits and routines that we put in play that we don't really know about. Now, what forms this up? What forms up the action that you take or the experience that you have in your life that becomes the habit that you engage with. Now, first off, there's. And this is a great exercise for you guys because I want you guys to try this and be aware of this. First, there is the cue. So there's some sort of cue in your life that will bring about the habit. So there's a cue. It could be at work, 10, 15 at work, everyone goes for smoko. Or it could be you wake up, you get up, and you walk in your kitchen and something's there, whether it's your breakfast and it's already prepared for you, or there's something in the fridge that you're going to pull out. There's something in place. There's certain cues in your life. You'll wake up, the alarm goes off, the kids come into bed. There's different cues or your partner may get up before you, or you may come out to the smell of breakfast. That could be a cue as well. Using the senses. But there's so many different cues. Like you're at a period of time at work, it's 3 o' clock every afternoon, or it's nighttime on Tuesday night. There's a cue that enters your life. And what happens is the cue leads to actioning or triggering that habit or routine. So we get the kids to bed, that's our cue. Could be 6:30, could be 9:30, but that's our cue. Once the kids are in bed, that's my cue to sit down, relax, kick back and have a couple of wines. Not me personally guys, I don't drink alcohol. But not that I have anything against that for you to do whatever you want. But that could be the cue for you and that's what you want to do, to unwind and relax and have a bit of a come down from the stresses of the hard day of work and then obviously entertaining and looking after the kids. So there's some sort of cue, a trigger that occurs in your life. I want you to have a think about some of the things you do consistently. Some of the things you do that become habit in your life, because that is your habit. The more you do something, the more it becomes a habit. Not a single off, not a spontaneity type thing, a habit. Now have a look at the cue. What happens just before that habit kicks in, Whether it's smoking, drinking, training, eating, anything, what happens? What is the trigger that sparks me into performing that habit, routine or ritual, and then the final piece that brings it together. So you've got your cue, you've got the habit, routine or ritual. And then the final piece is the, and I say this without saying just the word reward with the perceived reward because the outcome can be anything you want it to be and it can mean whatever it wants to mean to you. So what is the perceived reward for from actioning the habit? From the cue that's kicked off the action or triggered you into taking that action. For example, nighttime kids go to sleep, put the kids to sleep. That's the cue trigger the action. Having a couple of glasses of wine. What's the perceived reward? It's time I can spend with my wife or my husband. It's time for me to relax. It's just what I do. It's what I do when my TV show's on at 8:30. There's this. And that helps me enjoy my TV show. That helps me relax. That helps me think about the day. It helps me. This helps me that there's some sort of perceived reward, guys, that you will put in place, whether you're aware of it or not, to justify or validate the actions of the routine, ritual, or habit that you are actioning right now, that you're doing, that you have in place from the cue that has triggered that action. Now, I say perceived because it can change. It can shift, and it can be whatever you want it to be. Then you can change that. And that's part of the power, guys, of shifting your habits, your routines, your rituals. Some people have different beliefs. I've read books about it before where they believe you can never break a habit. You can just change the habit and still have the same perceived reward, which is true, you can. So instead of drinking a couple of glasses of wine, you could put on a nice soft playlist. You could listen to music, do different forms of meditation. You could write down a goal list or plans for the next day with your partner or significant other, with yourself, for your children, for your career, your work, your family, and your journaling, so to speak. You could also engage in some form of exercise, recreational or not. Dirty thoughts. Keep them away. You could do many different things that give you the same perceived reward of what is that? Why is that the reward for me? Why does drinking wine do that? It's a chicken and egg thing. Is it literally the chemicals of alcohol, or is it because I've created this mental association now to that that I'm already creating and stimulating that in my mind before it even happens? Because remember, things happen twice. First, in the real world. Sorry. Second in the real world. First in your own mind, which is your real world in its own way. That is absolutely what happens. So can I shift that? Can I change that? Can I break it? You can break habits. I believe that. Some people say you can't. I believe you can. Absolutely possible, but could be harder. What's easier? Is it easier to shift the action and keep the same habit? So every night, instead of this, and I've said this before, you might not have heard of my playlist, but I have a playlist called Perception on Spotify. That's awesome. I love that. That creates me. It gives me a great ability to create the state that I want and creates the atmosphere, the environment that I'm choosing and seeking to help me with certain things, whether it's different stresses, goal setting, brainstorming, trying to break through, thinking of ideas, visualizing. There's a lot of different perceived rewards that comes from that playlist perception, which is why I played it many different times. Because there's many different triggers, there's many different cues at any given stage that action me to play that playlist, to think about the things that I want to achieve, do, have, be and perform in my life. So is it easier to shift the actual habit? I say yeah, and I do agree with some of those guys. Potentially it is. You could shift that instead of just breaking the habit right at 7:30 at night, we're not doing anything, we're going to bed. That could potentially eat away at you. Or you could do something. Instead of two glasses of wine, I'm going to have one glass of wine and start reading a book I've always wanted to read, or listen to an audible or do some meditation or do some visualization or write down my goals. What do I want to achieve? What do I want to kick ass with tomorrow that's going to see me through, to have the energy output and commitment to follow through with that instead of just a limiting periodic state of motivation that's going to get me moving a third of the way that I should be. So habits are a powerful thing, guys, and you can break them down, break them completely and create new ones. And it's one of the videos and podcasts spoke about earlier. Environment plays a huge role. Environment is generally one of the greatest triggers of, if not probably the trigger, because we are a collective of the environments that we experience and are part of. And everywhere you go, there you'll be. It's your life, it's you. It's got to come down to you. You are the problem and you are the solution to your very own life and what you see as problems and solutions. Environment plays a huge role when you look at creating new habits or shifting habits from good to bad or from better to optimal and higher, have a look at the environment that you're in. How can I shift the environment that I'm in to create the habit that I want in my life? And that's important, especially when it comes to your own health and fitness and movement. That's something I want you to think about, guys, when it comes down to the routines, rituals and habits that form your life, because when you have a look over the long haul, it really is a collective of that. What am I doing more often than not? That is what a habit and routine is. What can I trim? What's the cream off the top that I can trim away and take with me and discard the rest Use the past purely as a point of reflection and learning lessons to continue to move forward and create a better future, present moment, A better present moment. A better present moment. And that's what it's about. I mean, that's what we do with our kids, right? We're passing down our own journey, trying to give them. Like, you don't give your kids, or you don't want to anyway, you don't want to give your kids all the bad stuff. Not that I'm saying they shouldn't experience pain. Like, absolutely. I feel it's necessary in life for Stella and Lillian to go through life and experience plenty of hardship and pain. Pain obviously is a natural reaction and as a natural emotion and instinct. I don't want my children to suffer, as we all don't. But suffering is what's made me the greatest person ever. And I was chatting to my dad about this when some of the horrific stuff that he's seen his baby boy go through. And I've got a younger brother, Jordan, but I am the baby of the family as well in many ways, I guess, because Jordy's nine years younger than me. So it's like a whole new generation seeing his young bloke go through broken jaws, broken cheekbones, wide mouth, shut knee operations, reconstructions, shoulder reconstructions, like, there's some pretty hard stuff. And I was chatting to him about this the other day, and he was talking about how it was really hard to watch some of that stuff. And, you know, he saw that I was so passionate about it and I wanted to do it and meant everything to me at that time, and he supported me all the way. But it was funny when I laughed with him and he recognized as well, said, yeah, I know that par. And it was hard for me too at the time, obviously, and letting myself down and feeling like I was letting the family down because I was pushing hard and wanting to create this legacy and wear our name on our sleeve and be proud about that. But it really is the best thing that ever happened to me as well, though those hardships were important necessity in life. And I feel they are so looking through and going though going through what's important to us, looking through and seeing that, well, this is what life is, what we pass down to the next, pass down to the next. And even with grandparents, great grandparents, you can still pass down wisdom and knowledge to your great grandchildren and your grandchildren and your own kids. And we're not going to pass down the crap, are we? We're going to let them know there's Hardships, there's adversity, there's day and night, good and bad, and all those sorts of things. But what you're really trying to pass down is lessons. Good habits, good behaviors, good routines, good rituals. They're so important, guys. Really have a think about it. What am I doing? Are you proud of that? Are you proud of the way you're conducting yourself right now? Are you proud of the actions that you're doing right now? Are you proud of your routines, rituals and beliefs that are passing down to those around you? Not necessarily your kids, but more often than not your children, your co workers in relationships, your other half, all these different elements that make up your life. And when I say elements, I mean people like your routines, rituals and habits affect the people around you and carve out your life. So are you doing what is it you want to do? Are you even aware of that at an epigenetic level? And we won't go into science today, but at a scientific level, every single cell in your body has its own form of consciousness. That's pretty amazing. That's pretty phenomenal. Two to 5% of people in the world can claim that disease and cancer is genetic. That's very, very small. 2 to 5%. The rest through three things. After genetics, the rest is through three things. A trauma. So if I jumped off a building and suffered severe trauma, Chemical induction. So if I was on drugs and having different drugs that create literally a chemical response and change in the physiology of my body, the third one, perception, isn't that amazing? Perception at a cellular level, how the protein is literally looking at the signal. So what's happening outside, just outside of the cellular membrane of the protein and how it responds to that, unbelievable. Like a baseball going into a baseball glove, they literally form and create something new. Like I start chewing food, salivating. The digestive enzymes perceive that and see what's going on, and they create a shift the surrounding environment of the signal in my mouth. Literally eating and swallowing food, that creates a new connection. And there we go, an enzyme's born. I'm sure there's a nerd who could explain it a bit better than me, but I like to give it in layman's terms as well. That's incredible, isn't it? Which is why when I step up to the bar, I'm about to do the same lift. I'm not thinking, I don't have to. My body knows my thumb goes there, my hand goes here, my foot goes there. I lift my torsos in this position, I explode through here. Nothing changes, guys. Habits at a cellular level right through to your consciousness. What you are aware of, what you're thinking is all the same thing. And it all forms your reality and shapes your world. So I want you guys to have a think about that. Have a good, long, hard think about your life. Get a pen and paper. Get it right now. I'll wait. Get a pen and paper and write down five things. What are five things that I consistently do? Good, bad, and the ugly. Doesn't matter. What are five things that consistently form up my life? Okay, first thing. What are five things? Five things that form up my life? Every single one of those five things. Routine number one. Habit number one. Ritual number one. What is influencing me to have that in my life, to create that? What is it? Is it my children? Is it my work? Is it literally the time of day, the environment? Is it the structure or the dynamic of my relationship? What's causing that one thing to happen? When does it happen? Why does it happen? What's the perceived reward? Is this moving me forward to be a better human being? Is this keeping me stagnant? Or the same, which, as we spoke about before, essentially is moving you back. If you don't expand, you contract because you're robbing future, present moments of a version of you that's already been here in the earth. Is this serving me? Is this moving me forward in a positive light to be the best I can be? And this isn't about getting deep and heavy with everything. Like, we've all got our own routine and habits. Like brushing your teeth is a routine. If you're doing the job and doing it right, then what does it matter? Brush your teeth and floss your teeth, that's fine. You're done. Your job done. You don't have to psychoanalyze every element of your life. But the key five, the key five things in your life, what are they? What's causing them? What do you feel is causing them? Bit of pain, gains here. Making sure that we're taking ownership and responsibility over it. Because you do have control. You are in control. Regardless of if your kids sleep or not. You're in control about how you see it. What's the trigger? What's the cue, and what's the reward? And then can I change that? So what are those five things? What is that one thing? What's causing it? What's the environment? Who's influencing it? Is it serving me? Moving forward in a positive light? And can I change it? How can I change it? What's the purpose? Or point behind it, good or bad, because they're things that are positive in your life. You still gotta ask the question why? What's the purpose? What's the point? Because they could potentially be better. And that's what this is about, guys. And I love that. Cam touched on that in our last podcast, talking about his routine. More often than not. It's hard with kids, but his routine before sleep, nailed, knuckled down. So he's going, peace of mind, going to bed, happy is Larry waking up. Beautiful. Great routine, meditation, training, work, getting set, everything done before the kids even wake. Boom. Ready to go, ready to conquer, ready to dominate the day. And those two times of the day, guys, along with the third one, there's three points. When we're susceptible most to our routines and habits without knowing and with little resistance to change them. It's just before bed, it's as soon as we wake up and it's when we're heavily drained, exhausted. So long days period of time, the resilience comes down and the ability to wear off the outside attacks to really action those changes or change those routines in a positive manner for yourself. It's very hard. And all those three come down to one. Your energy, your efforts. When you're about to go to bed, usually tired. If you've done a 12 hour day and it's four in the arbor and you've been up since four in the morning, usually tired. As soon as you wake up in the morning, you're usually tired. No one jumps out of bed and goes straight into 50 pushups and sets a PB. There's a natural process. This isn't a good or bad thing. It's a natural process. We're waking up, the body's starting, the eyes open, everything starts. We become aware of our breathing, nose or mouth, our position. We're sitting up out of bed, getting out of bed, slippers or not. It's cold, it's warm. You start to just tap into everything as we do the engine, the machine turns on. It starts in a different way because obviously things are happening when we sleep and we start to move and create the day. Those three periods all come to one when you're most tired. So have a look at guys. What are the key things in my life that are the habits? Do I have control over them? Am I aware of them? Are they good? Who's influencing them? What's the environment? What's the timing and what state am I in when these are? Action. What's the state that I'm in when These happen. And then looking at perceived reward. I hope you've enjoyed this one, guys. This is one that's been a little bit lower in terms of intensity. And I do like doing these ones individually with you guys. And it's about just asking the question. That's what I'm big on, asking the question, but going before that. And again, who do you want to be in the series of states that you will experience called life? Why is that important to you? What does that look like? How do we get there? Now, the who you can knuckle down and write in 10 minutes, but remembering and realigning with that, who comes down to your why, what, and how. And that's so important, guys. And your why, what, and hows come down to what you're doing. The action you take. And the action you take comes down to the experiences you're having in life. And that comes down to the state that you're in. And then in a reciprocal format, the state that you're in dictates and influences the environment that you're going to be in. And the environment you're being dictates and influences the state that you're going to be in. And collectively, all of those under the web of life, the experiences we have, the action we take, the way which we choose to see it, our perception. And what are the other two? Jeez, I forgot them. Now there's experience, environment, perception, action, and state. There we go. They're the five. And I'll do another video on that. Once the web of life, they all ultimately form up. The habits, routines, rituals, what you're doing in your life more often than not. So do that little exercise, guys. Get back to me if you haven't anything. Alexealdadmovement.com Let me know how you go. This is always on itunes or the Real Dad Movement podcast page, uploaded on YouTube videos if and when I can, when the opportunity allows. And it's something that's phenomenal in having that reach and helping you shift. I'm not saying I'm being phenomenal with you. I'm saying it's a phenomenal thing you can do with and for yourself, guys, because life goes so quick, we really don't realize how much time goes by without us being aware of what we're actually doing. Half the time, we're just in that little mouse wheel, just spinning around in the rat race, just doing it, just doing it, and we're all there. I get you. I get you. I feel it. I hope this helps, guys, run through that exercise. Have a feel about yourself. Reflect on yourself. Where are you at the moment with your routines, your rituals, your habits? Are they serving you? What can you do to change them or completely break and create new ones? And you'll find a huge level of liberation comes from that freedom and control and understanding that it is possible. The power is yours. It can be done and you can get there. It lies in your hands, first and foremost through action. Have a great day, morning, arvo, night, weekend, whenever you may be listening to this and if I don't see you guys, good afternoon, good evening and good night. Take care and thanks again. Appreciate your time. Cheers. Sam.