160. 1 in 4 Billion

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement podcast. The point and purpose of these episodes, as always, is to have a point and purpose towards helping you win the second half in life by building a path of becoming the best father, husband, man and member of your community that you can be. We do this with various ways of connecting. Life is connection. And as you hear these words spoken time and time again, know that the driving force of connection in life is energy. Which means that how you turn up as a father, as a husband, as a valued member of society will always start and end with how you turn up as a man within yourself. First, this is why it's my mission, my purpose, our mission, our purpose through Real Dad Movement to inspire, motivate, educate and guide you into thoughts, feelings, actions and a change in your belief systems to rise up, cut the shit from your life and live and leave a real legacy. When dads win, everyone wins. And when you win, I win. Let's get moving forward, mate. Right here, right now.

Here we are, another podcast episode with one of the most amazing men I've ever met in my life. And, you know, it's really interesting. I think this is a bit of a public. Well, firstly, welcome, welcome Amesbury, to the, to the show, mate. Love, love having you here and thank you for joining us.

Thanks, Al. Good to be here. Awesome.

Absolutely, man. I'm really excited for this episode. It's something that I've wanted to do, I think, since you joined, really. The first. I remember the first chat we had, I was like, fuck, man, I've got to get this on a podcast. He's just. He's just a whole. A whole different level of, you know, energy and just genuineness, not, not that other guys aren't. It's just, it was really interesting our, our conversation aims that we had and, and here we are now, you know, be on the inside. And I think it's the first of many years we'll probably spend together, mate. But just as a public service announcement, mate, you know, like, I've decided, Amesbury, that I'm going to change rdm. And for those guys listening to this, I'm going to change the name to the no Amesbury's Club. And two reasons for that, mate. Just hear me out. One, there can be only one because it's Amesbury, so we're allowed to have one. And two, now you're absolutely irreplaceable, man. Like, you're just such a legend of a bloke, you know, I think if anyone else in the world has the Name Amesbury because it's a very unique name to me. They're an imposter. Now we'll get all the Amesbury's all over the world sending me emails. Oh mate, it's, I'd love to. Obviously we'll start with your story, mate and you know, a bit of a background of yourself and history for, for our listeners, both members and non members. You know, the tribe's pretty tight and I know that the tribesmen on the inside, they love to hear these stories with the other fathers who've done podcasts with me and you know, diving into, I guess you know, your background, your history and running through a lot of the modern day challenges that we do face because you've definitely got some good wisdom, some good key points and golden nuggets that our listeners will take from this, all the guys watching on YouTube and you know, mate, it's like I said, it was a really fascinating conversation. I think when we, I think when we started from memory you'd already listened to a lot of podcast episodes but I think I, I think I spent most of our consultation trying to slow you down, mate, because you're already in. You're like mate, I'm in now. This is it, I'm on. What do we do? Yes, like mate, yeah, hang on a minute. I need to, I need to make sure we can help you. I want to make sure that you actually do like me and like us and we connect and, and you know, but is one of the best calls ever, man. And here we are. But yeah, but mate, yeah, welcome. Love to, love to start with yourself and you know, some of your background.

Thanks Al. That's yeah, really nice what you've said, mate. Appreciate it heaps. And yeah, like you said, I, I did feel like I was already, you know, I had you. I don't know if you've seen the movie the Lawnmower man, but I was listening to your podcast over and over and over again. You know that 80s movies where he's listening to it all. But I'll probably listen to, to 100 episodes from January to early February before I joined RDM and I had you on in the morning and at night and then I'd have you on at lunchtime at work. So probably three episodes, three forecasts a day. So I got through quite a lot. But yeah, I just on my name as well. I do get a lot of, lot of questions where it comes from and the origin of it. So Amesbury and I'm glad you said no more Amesbury's. But when I was born, my mum's Indian and my dad's Aussie as heritage. And my name is. So it's Eynesbury, which is a very English name actually. And they were teachers in Papua New Guinea. I was born in Papua New guinea and their principal of the school, his name was John Amesbury. And basically when I was born, he sent a letter to my parents. And on this letter, still at home in Mum and Dad's filing cabinet, is, you know, he felt very honoured to have someone named after him. And he'd been researching around the world at the time, this is the early, early 70s, and he had found that there was 11 other Amesbury's in the world. But to his recollection of what he'd studied, they all had the surname of Amesbury and old the very first Christian name, Amesbury. And, you know, I was thinking for the podcast One in four Billion, because I look back at the population when.

I was born.

One in four Billion.

Why did. That's a great episode name. I think we're on with that. One in four Billion.

Yeah, Y. So, you know, like, yeah, I've always had. Had that and thinking, oh, yeah, it's something. It's a great name and yeah, really happy with it and it's kind of made me who I am, I suppose, in a way, you know, a name, I suppose. But taking nothing away from Alex's or Jason's or anyone else, but yeah, had a look at it. Grew up in Queensland. My parents, yeah, love to be great role models. Both teachers. So I've got a brother as well. He works Mount Isa. Mines up in Mount Isa and I'm in Melbourne now. But, you know, growing up was great because Mum and Dad would have holidays because they were teachers and we'd have great family holidays together and do lots of traveling around and things like that. And my dad played rugby for New South. New South Wales Rugby Union for New South Wales high schools. And he has a massive love for sport. And I got that from my dad, you know, like seeing him watching sport and playing sport and things like that. So I got into, you know, you give me a badminton bat, I'll play badminton. They give me a tennis racket, I'll play tennis. I played a lot of rugby. I played cricket as well. So I really grew up, you know, playing lots of sport with my brother in the backyard and cricket and things like that and had a great kind of, you know, primary school, high school type of thing in Queensland. After that, went to uni and I Suppose I stuck with rugby union a bit and I kind of played. I was captain of the Warwick Rugby Union team, which is up in Queensland for under 19. And I was able to make up there around Toowoomba and all those kind of regional areas. They have a Darling Downs team. So I made the Darling Downs team as a halfback and made the South Queensland team. So I kind of really kind of like enjoyed my footy in rugby and team sports and that type of stuff. Eventually, you know, you finish uni and you start working. And I ended up moving from Brisbane down to Melbourne and my mum, being an Indian, has lots of relatives and friends and rang up a second cousin and I moved down here with like a briefcase, basically just a bag. And she found a second cousin for me to live with and moved down to Melbourne and basically the footy and the sport and all that started dropping off a bit and I kind of made a group of mates and obviously making a little bit of money, girls start coming into the equation and drinking and the mates that I, that I haven't had, know. Back then too, we had this motto that was El and what did that mean? Enjoy life. So we made sure we enjoyed life whenever we were going to stay home and, you know, not. Not do anything. Yeah, someone's, oh, let's go out to the pub or something. Come on, El. Guys. All right, enjoy life. And it's all about the memories, you know. So having that as a motto didn't save much money. We were going out a lot and enjoying ourselves. And yeah, that, that was probably my 20s to my 30s. I played a bit of cricket, a little bit of footy, but not much. And. And then, yeah, you get to that late kind of 30s or you hit 30 and you're like, oh, I've got to do something about my life now and get a bit more serious with my career. And so then I was working for Colesmoor back then, or Westfarmers and kind of succeeded into good level roles through there. Met my wife, who's absolutely awesome, love of the bits and I'll definitely talk about her a bit more. And, you know, we got married and over that time I'd started a cricket club, which I'm really proud of, the Thornbury Turf Stroke, as they're called. And basically that was an indoor cricket club and we took it outdoors. Having to organize an oval turf, curator pitches and getting that all set up was massive. And I love that team. Kind of bonding with everyone too. So I was president for five years and kind of did that My wife got pretty. Having our son, got pregnant. And I was like, okay, I've got to give this away, go back to focusing on the work. And had a very kind of high level role in Westfarmers looking after a division, a homewares division for one of their department stores. And good job, very political. And it kind of, I think, took a drain on me. So sport dropped off exercising, dropped off and just burning the candles on, on both ends. Al I, I kind of, you know, the motto of, you know, sleep, you can sleep when you, when you die was kind of what I, what I had in my head. And it was like, okay, I've got a, you know, I'm gonna have to work. I was working night, I was working late at night, starting work early. So everything was about, you know, as we say, an RDM service and just, just work and not much family time, just kind of weekends. But on the weekends I'll be sleeping or tired and not doing too much for myself, you know, nothing really, to be honest. I started putting on weight. I remember one night, my young fellow, he was three years old and he kind of came into the office where I am now, and you know, he's kind of wanting to play. I played with him for five minutes, thinking, that's my job done, better get back to work. And he just wanted to keep on playing. And I remember I got really upset because I had this important meeting the next day and he started crying and my wife had to take him to bed. And I was just like looking at the computer going, this, this just isn't what I, what I want. This isn't what life's about, you know. So I kind of, yeah, I was able to kind of change roles. And working for a family company now, that's awesome Culture now a great, great business. So did that change, but still very busy and I couldn't kind of fit in exercise. I used to say to my wife, I need to start exercising. I need to start doing something. And I couldn' the timeout. I was just like, I don't have time to do it. Not thinking, oh, you can wake up early in the morning or some of the other principles I've learned in RDM now. But I, I was just, I was probably 87 kilos on. I'm 168 centimeters. I like to say I'm 170 centimeters. I know Cowman thinks I'm smaller.

But.

You know, 168 and 87 kilos, and I was probably looking at like hitting 90 kilos in two weekends. Time, if you could look at it like that. I was just kind of eating kind of food. It wasn't too bad food, I suppose. But yeah, my mother in law doesn't make nice cakes so I was having a cake to treat myself because I've been working really hard. So I was, I was, you know, just a little bit of that on the weekend, but I was just, I could see myself going towards that. 90 kilos, 92. My energy was, was lacking. I was tired, you know, my son, so I was able to play with him more. But when I played with him, I could probably last five minutes out and I'd just have to sit down and you know, then I'd wait and rest and then I'd be able to play with him again. And that was probably a big motivation for me to get fitter because I'm like he was 3, 4, 5, you know, getting older and I'm like, I want to be able to do things with him and not feel tired. And that Christmas of 2019, I kind of went up to Queensland to visit my parents and family and cousins. And every time I went out for a meal or a dinner, I get a little tap on my stomach from a cousin or someone and they're touching my stomach. Oh yeah, you go mate, you put a bit of weight there, you know. And yeah, I got got back to Melbourne after that trip and I was like, I've got to do something. And lo and behold, I don't know how you do it. You got this magical touch because I heard other guys on podcast, but you, you popped up mate, on my Facebook account and you know, I, I listened to your message just. And everything you said in it was relatable. If you're feeling tired, you're lacking energy, you know, you want to, you need some life balance. All those things were related to me. And I remember that's when I started listening to your podcast. Like I listened to this podcast and one of the things in your, one of your early podcasts you kind of said that you'd set the guys inside the tribe, let's do a 10k for 10 days. So walking 10,000 steps over 10 days. You know, this is back early in January and I thought I could do that. So every night when the sun, when my son went to bed, I'll be walking around my suburb doing 10,000 steps because I wouldn't be much during the day, 2,000 maybe max or something. So I'd every night and just got me going. Listening to your podcast and you know, a couple of times I was like, I should email this guy or I'll give you a call and whatnot. And eventually, yeah, after the hundred podcasts, which I wish I'd done it a lot earlier, you know, I gave you. I remember, I remember that call too, mate. And I did. I was just, I was nervous. I was like, I just want to be into this group because I know the benefits I could get out of it.

Yeah.

So that kind of brings me to. Yeah. Before I joined. Yeah.

And now you're on a podcast, mate, with me.

Yeah, I know.

I'm curious, mate. Are you going to go? I don't think I've got a bad voice, but I don't really like, fuck. Listen to myself enough. Not, not that I speak a lot, but when I do this I'm like, yeah, I don't, I don't want to listen to myself saying the same words again. But are you going to listen to this one, mate?

100%, mate. Maybe two or three times.

Oh, but yeah, that's a crack up. Well, you probably, you probably either got, got used to and, and loved the voice, mate. Or, or, or you hated it. But I guess you must have enjoyed it. But it was right, right, right in the middle of when you said you started listening to the podcast a lot. I remember this one night, someone was tapping on the window. I'm just curious, mate, but you're in Victoria, so you would have had to travel a fair bit. Right. And I'm just kidding. Alice, me, Alice, me. I just want to say g'. Day. I like your podcast. Amesbury.

Hey, no, I remember when I called you that first time and I was maybe five minutes late or something and you're like, where are you, mate? I'm like, oh no, I'm in Melbourne. Oh, mate, now you have to come into the office to see me. You know that? And then you started laughing and I was like, oh no, I've messed this up. I should have flown to Sydney.

Isn't it, isn't it funny, Ames? I really. That, that's a great, great insights to your, your story so far, mate, and the shares and isn't it crazy, man? Like, it really is like a bit of a whirlwind. You sort of. When I say invincible, it's not like I'm gonna go out and jump off cars and start fights and no one will hurt me. It's just a bit of a. It really is an unknown of the knowns that can pull us down when we have children, when we have responsibilities, when there's you know, skin in the game with life, whether it' relationships, we just don't know. People say they think they're invincible when they're young. I don't think it's necessarily that. Like, I don't look at every young person and think they're just, you know, arrogant and think they can, you know, do anything and not be hurt. It's just, it's just really interesting, mate, how we, we do all these different things in our 20s. And then most fathers, when we see they get into their 30s, you can start to see things slow down. But a lot of fathers, they get into their late 30s, the cracks start to appear. And then in their mid to late 40s, it's like landscaping holes and some of them have fallen down and there's breakdowns and a lot of things. And you look at it and you think it's a long time, but it isn't, is it, Ames? Because here we are right here and now. So it was like yesterday at our consult, but then here we are now. And then we'll blink and it'll be 2024. And then we'll blink and it'll be 2028. And when you see that and recognize how fast time is. Yeah. You know, thinking of the future and looking back on the past, it paints a long picture. So every time we sort of think about our life, we're thinking in 80 year blocks, but essentially it's actually really, really small. And that's why I think that coupled with, you know, every year it seems like it goes faster. Right. I don't know if you feel the same.

Yeah, definitely.

Even with COVID with everything, I'm like, every year gets faster. And I think it's a pure mathematical formula because percentage wise, every year of your life is less compared to the rest you've already lived. So perfect example is, you know, When Stella turned five, she went from four to five. That's a 20 jump. So one year is a long period of time. That's 20% that she's lived. Roman going from one to two, that one to two would probably seem slow in perspective because that's 50% of his life so far. I don't know if you agree, man, but I do.

No.

So when you're 70 and you turn 71, like it's 100 divided by 71 times one. It's like, that's fuck all. It's like 1.3 in your life.

Yeah, no, definitely, but definitely thought of that too. Yeah. Yeah. And I thought I was invincible out like and yeah, even with the fitness and like you said, it just turns like, one year you're 2K savvy, another year, another 2Ks. And it just happens over time, you know, Then all of a sudden you go, oh, yeah, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror. You know, as much as I'm kind of. Again, I'm looking at myself again. I'm looking, looking alright, but I know I definitely wasn't looking at myself as. As much as, you know, I. I was when I was fit. Not. I thought, you know what, when I want to get fit, I'll. It'll be easy. I can do it in a month or two months or do this, these dad board challenges or whatever and I'll get back on track. But it just, it never. It never happened. And doing it the RDM way, I know it's the right one. I've seen massive benefits from it as well. So, yeah, it's that invincibility of being young and you think you still got it or you can stand in front of the mirror and you suck your.

Gut in a bit.

Oh, yeah, it's all still alright. I'm looking all right, you know. Yeah, yeah, man.

And then it gets. It does get tough. Like, how did. Not that I'm always here to try and, I mean, I'm never here to make a dad feel bad, but, like, I know when I've dropped the ball with my kids because no one's perfect, but how did it make you feel, man? Like, as you felt, you sort of started to slip and I guess some of those experiences you described with the young bloke, with your son, he's a little champion and just yourself, your health, like, how'd that make you feel, mate? When you're sort of going down that path that I guess a lot of people do, unfortunately, I felt bad.

I felt really bad out. I just, I. I was, you know, so sad days and Sundays, literally, I could we do something in the morning and I was constant. Saturday afternoon, I've got to go have a rest. Sunday I'd have to have rest unless we had something on or a function or whatever, you know. And then the little guy, I want to go to the park. Let me have my rest first. I need my rest, you know, And I was missing that time and I wasn't kind of scheduling in time to do those things with him too. Like, yeah, you know what, mate? Saturday we're going to go to the park, then we're going to pool, then we're going to do stuff that I do now. I was kind of like, I've got to watch the footy too. Motor. The Hawks are playing or this is playing. Yeah. I felt bad. And even with my wife, you know, I kind of. I was like, I'll look after the outside, you know, you look after you. So she was doing the cooking, washing, all this stuff. And I could have been helping out more, but in my mind, I was like, no, I'm working hard enough. I'm doing long hours. I'm doing it for the family, you know, doing it for the right reasons. But they weren't getting the best of me. Definitely not getting the best of me at all. But that energetic dad, the fun dad, the happy dad would come out. But it wasn't as much as it does now, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's. It's a special thing, isn't it, man? Like, even with some of the data we track on the inside, it asks questions about spending time with family. What did you do with them? Because sometimes there are opportunities that we don't know what they will specifically look like, but the stepping stone to create that opportunity just brings it to life. And what I mean by that, Ames, is you getting fitter, healthy and stronger starts to open up a door. And it's like this day, May 11th, at fucking 1:30pm I had this experience with my son. You know why? Because I could and because I was there. And you can't see that when you're in the now as a current version of who you are. And it's never that you're not enough. But you're right, mate. When you're tired of lethargic, you know, run down with the kids, it's not that you're necessarily saying no to them. You're saying no to the opportunities of what you could create and the experiences you could have with them that you and I both know, mate, we never get back. Because they will be the next year older and the next year older, the next year older. And it doesn't matter how much money you have or how much love you have, when they're 30 years of age, you can't pull them back to three or 13. No.

Yeah, yeah. It's something that you said. Al is like there's a time when you can't throw your kids up in the air. You know, you won't be able to anymore. That's always in the back of my mind from whatever, you know, you said it or you've said it a couple of times. So now, most days, I will grab you And I'll throw him up in the air. You know, it is. It is all those little things, and I know that. Yeah. And I know when I was younger, when my dad did that to me, like, and I still remember being up on his. When you lie back and their hands are up and you're like an airplane and those type of things and how you remember those things. So I definitely now I do all those type of things with him, and I know he's just got the biggest smile on his face and. And loves it.

Yeah, it's very surreal, man. Like, when you. When you. Like you said, you get those memories. And it wasn't meet me that said that, but I'll claim ownership. And if the member who said it, this is. This podcast, I'll let him pull me up on it. But, yeah, there will come a day when you can't throw your kids up in the air anymore. That's pretty confronting. You know, as soon as he told me that, I straight away just went and did a gym session. I'm like, I'm gonna be fucking 80, 80 years old and full of muscle, and I'm still gonna be able to throw my daughter up at 50 years of age. Yeah, but. But it's true, man. But what I was saying before about it being surreal is I went past my. My hometown. I grew up in Penrith and went past there a couple of weeks ago and drove. Literally. I lived in Sinclair, so I was just off the freeway, and I drove literally past a turnoff which is a couple of streets away just off Explorers Way. And I just was, like, driving past the old footy oval where we played soccer, the old cricket nets, because they're all sort of on the freeway. You can sort of see the parks off the freeway in the M4. And I was just like, fuck, man. That just feels like a lifetime ago. It feels aims. It feels like a lifetime. It feels like separate lives. It really does. When you look at. Maybe it happens as you get older, there's sort of chunks between, you know, 30 and. Or 25 and 50 is a chunk. Maybe between 57 and 80 feels like a chunkier life. But that. That childhood, man, I'm like, fuck, I've got a shitload of memories now that I had of my father at my age, obviously, and coupled with what I experienced as a child, and now my children are going through those experiences. Life's a really strange thing, man. Like, not to get deep, but it's. It is deep. It's.

Yeah.

Who has time to fuck around? Names you know? Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy how much people waste it.

Definitely. Yeah. Yeah, I was wasting time out.

Yeah.

I, Before I joined, I, you know, I was that guy that would have been on the deathbed kind of saying, you know, yeah, this is a good Netflix movie to watch. You know, Like I, you know, I kind of, Yeah, I was watching way too much and, and news as well. You know, the, the TV was on and I'd have to watch the news, I'd have to read the paper and kind of, that's. I still keep them informed, but not as much as I used to. Like, why listen to the morning news on the radio, listen to the five o'. Clock. You know, I just, I don't do that anymore. And that's saved me so much time. And I get, I get home, the phone goes away and it's, it is such family time. I just love it. I haven't got that distraction of, of the news on or the TV show that I want to watch or anything like that. It's. So we're playing Monopoly tonight. We're going to play, you know, tomorrow. I'm going to take you to the pool on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It's, it's all kind of planned. Planned in. Yeah, I'm going to, on a, on a Wednesday, Tuesday, help the missus with doing the washing. Like, I'll do all the clothes and little things like that that you plug in. Makes much life more enjoyable for all of us because we've got time to do things together on the weekends as well now rather than. And worrying about other things. Yeah. Or catching up on things. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's. It's unreal, man. Like, we, we need to get back closer to reality aims not further away. So this whole. And it's whole metaverse thing that apparently is happening with, from Facebook to create these augmented realities and people just, you know, plug in and forget what the real world's like because they're not happy with it. That's. That's insane, man. Like, but this is what people don't realize. It's a, it's almost a bit of a tiptoe approach. And I'm not saying all technology is bad, but I look at the conditioning of television. I'm like, man, it pulls you in. Like, I loved watching the Marvel, the Cinematic Universe like that. That was epic. Like, that was. And I like sci fi is naturally, you know, I've always been amazed by astronomy, stars and all that sort of stuff. But I look at that and After I watched the last episode of and everything happens with the last movie, I was so depressed, man, I was deflated. I was like, that was like 23 hours. I don't know how many movies there I was probably about that. There's like 23 to 28 hours of my life I'll never get back to. It showed me all these impossibilities that I could never do. Like, is that really inspiring flying around with. With rockets on my hands and. And crazy powers and magical gemstones are like, what the am I doing? You know? Like, and I love Vikings. It's an awesome thing. And I enjoyed Game of Thrones and I enjoyed those things at the stage of my life that I was at. But now I'm just like. Like, it's crazy. My old man calls it the idiot box, but he's been saying that for 30 years now. But he still watches TV. Sometimes I just need to be a zombie. Like he. He admits that he owns it. I'm like, yeah, not trying hard enough par. Like you gotta get up and get more active and more physically healthier. And anyway, you know, that's the old man and he's an old bull, but he's. He has his vices. And I look at that. I'm like, well, I don't want to take that gamblings because yep, there could be. There could be an accident. Like, mate, I might only live to be 47 years of age. I might only live to be 51. I don't know, man. And none of you guys listen to this. You don't know either. Like time's finite and life is temporary. You've got no idea. It could be six months, it'll be 12 years. I've got. I've got mates who've survived, but they had bowel cancer. Like who the talks about that crazy man. But yeah, you know, that's one thing I love about the presence that we bring. Whilst we use technology, we leverage it to create the right ecosystem to be present and then to carry that through. And like what you're saying there, you know, saying no to the television so you can say yes to your son and this is. It is priceless stuff. But I mean how have you. I'd like to just get like, what is your thoughts on the trial book? How have you found your journey with us so far? Like I remember you running a knee can run 5 days good time and like I'd love for you to just share like how this has helped or improved your life and what you, what you really Enjoy most about, you know, about the tribe, mate and what we do. Oh, keep it to six hours or less.

This is where we, this is where we go to full. Just let me put my timer on here.

Lock the doors. We've only got six hours left.

Six hours to go. Oh, yeah, okay. Sorry.

I.

Look, yeah, look, I joined, joined kind of February and I think roadmap and everything like that was done by the end of Feb. And I just had kind of an immediate, immediate changes, I'd have to say. Just. Yeah, I suppose it's a domino effect. It's doing small things every day that, you know, from where I was to where I am now, like simple things such as when I joined up, you know, I remember Adam saying, mate, don't worry about trying to do everything. Just do one thing at a time. And he kind of kept me really centralized.

Okay.

Just, you know, you know, follow the roadmap, eat what we kind of suggested for you to eat, you know, And I was pleasantly surprised because it's not a diet, it's actually heaps of food, you know, which is, which is awesome. And I wasn't eating enough. I was thinking, I've got to drop weight. So I was having a piece of toast for brekkie and that was it. And not trying to eat my share in a day. And straight away it's like, get your eggs, get your bacon. Do you do that? And that was great. So I followed some simple techniques of, you know, just the simple things of get your gear ready before the next day so when you wake up, you can just grab it and put it on. Like such a simple thing that it used to put me off waking up early because I've got to get up, I'm going to find more clothes to wear, like just organize it the night before, you know, how simple is that to do. And set the alarm a bit earlier and go to bed. So the whole, you know, sleep when you die thing started changing for me, it's like, nah, sleep to live, you know, I want to sleep to live here. So. And that's all taught from the, from the tribe. So I started waking up early. I think one of the biggest changes when I asked my wife, you know, what's. What, what's changed since February? You wake up early now you don't sleep on the weekends, you know, and that was where I found time to actually do stuff for myself in the morning. So now I do get up early at 5:45 or 6:00 clock in the morning, which I would get up at 6:30 and have a piece of toast and I'll be straight to work. I thought if I'm up early I've got to go to work because I'm busy, you know. But I put that into myself now. That's my own time. So still work hard. But that was a big change for me. And the other thing that we do in the tribe is the journals and the journaling and how magnificent that is to actually sit down on a weekend. And I. And we do our temples and we write what we've achieved for the week and look back over the week and then work out what we're going to do for the next week. So that started just getting me aligned and because we actually do write, you know, as part of being an RDM, what are our goals in 12 months? What do we want to do in 12 months time? In three months time, in six months time? And I still refer to those things and I go back and look at it now. I go, oh my God, I've done a lot of that. I feel like I'm at a, I'm at a new base now from where I was because like I said, I actually kept up with the walking and I was scared to do the workouts because I'm like, oh, the walking's got me back into being fit. I don't want to do workouts. I'm worried I'll drop off my walking. And I remember the guys like Swaney and the guys and the coaches, you guys have got around you, you know, just going, mate, just, just try one or two. It's good for you as well. Now I love the workouts as well and literally today I got my 250th kind of workout award kind of came up on, on hbf, which was quite amazing that it happened, happened today, you know, so, so those type of things, I keep a really structured week and that helps me. The journaling and waking up early and putting into HBF and I couldn't run. And the goal setting that you guys kind of talk about and being with the tribe and the other guys in the, in the tribe, you know, they, they say like people, people are fuel, you know, and if you surround yourself with positive people, that's what the tribe is. It's just fuel for motivation for each other. And I started literally, I reckon, running 2.5Ks in an hour, I reckon. And I was bugging, you know, and that was a minute run and probably five minute walking, you know, type of thing. So I, I was not a runner at all. But seeing some of the other guys just kind of doing running in the times they're achieving, I thought, now I want to be like, like that. I want to get, get to that level. And I, I remember you, you said a couple of times, co names make that damn bloody bridge. Because I used to take a picture of a bridge. I was, I was trying to run to which kilometers and I wanted to do that all in one go. And you know, I'd stop after a K and walk and then I'd stop after 2K and walk. And eventually after I think it was four months, I, I got to that bridge and I got over it. And I remember putting a post up to the guys on, on our group and I was like Rocky Balboa with the hands above the head. And I've done it, you know, guys, I've done it. And the amount of support and feedback I got from everyone was, was amazing too, you know, like, well done. You've been trying that. The guys have been seeing me do it. So that interaction and with all the guys was, was awesome. And yeah, I'm happy to say I, I now can run. You know, I started trying to do under 30 minutes for 5K and Troy Bosh up, him and I were doing the same times and we kind of inspired each other and we're having a bit of a race to 30, but it's all, you know, it's. You see Stabs running and Cam McClelman and all these guys, you know, on there putting things up and, and that motivates you. And I'm happy to say kind of Now I'm doing 5k in 26, 26 minutes and I've set my. Yeah. Which I'm just amazing. Yeah. Really, really can't. I still can't believe I'm saying it, Alan. It was just from the small things. So every week, you know, doing a run, doing a run, doing a run, just getting better, getting stronger, getting fitter. The consistent things every, every week got me. There was nothing big, no really hard kind of training. It was just doing those consistent training things every week. And now I go, yeah, 26, 20. And I've set myself a new goal. I want to run under 25 minutes and I want run one hour and do 10K. So that's my kind of new goal that I've got for that. But, you know, it's, it's, it's everything about rdm. You know, I track my, my nutrition now. I never used to do that before as well. And it's not Something you guys ask us to do, but it's just something that I want to do now because I kind of. If we talk Domino's, I kind of knocked off waking up early. I've knocked off my sleeping habits. I knocked off getting up early, now knocked off kind of running, and slowly. But sure, you start kind of adding these things on. And I go, now I really do watch my nutrition, what I eat. And I always wanted to know, how many proteins do I have and how many carbohydrates and how much fat should I have? And now I know those type of things, which I never knew before, and that was always a confusion for me when I was trying to get fit. What do I eat? What should I eat? How much do I just not do any breads and pastas? But now you can. It's all about that balance for the week. So the learning and the knowledge that you guys give us as well helps us so much. You know, the sleeping really is great as well. And breathing and things like doing breathing. Like, I never thought how important just breathing in and breathing out is, like. And doing it 20 or 30 times. It's. It's. You know, we have challenges in the tribe, and even recently we had this one where for one week, you know, you kind of had to get up and you do your breathing, 20 breaths and kind of having a 500 mil of water or a mojo or whatever, and we do that for a week. And then you have guys now every day, instead of saying hashtag, rise to win, it's hashtag, rise to win. I've done my mojo, I've done my breathing, and it's become habit for so many guys. And I think that just that exemplifies what RDM is about. We just do small things or we have a small challenge, and then they end up just becoming habit, and we're all better off for it. But they're just simple, simple things.

Yeah, it's unreal, isn't it, man? Like, that's the end. Great shares there, but that's the value in where it lies. You know, having things like your breath work, having these fundamentals, I say, earn the right to play aims. Like, when you're doing this stuff, you're basically earning the right to go out and perform, and who wouldn't want that perform at a higher level. Or like the other podcast I did, a structure equals freedom. Like, when you have this structure together. Game on, mate. Like, you. You cannot sit there and tell me that the pure physiology and. And mechanics of 2 1/2 ks 1 hour and 5 k's in nearly 25, which is almost 12 ks an hour. That's a good pace, man. You can't tell me the pure physics of that. And then the mental resilience, self esteem and confidence would not carry through to your family life. Playing with a young bloke with the missus, with your work, like, it must go through everywhere, mate, when you've got that sort of achievement and that and that separation between where you've come from and where you are now.

Yeah, it does all the confidence. I've always been pretty, pretty confident, but even more so now. And it comes from energy. It comes from purely. I just have energy because I remember before I joined rdm, like, even to talk to someone at night on the phone, I don't have the energy to talk, you know, now I could talk for four hours. As I said, like, you know, it comes from that energy. And even people at work notice it. They're like, oh, yeah, look wise, you're different. And I have lost, you know, I think around. I've lost three belt buckles around my waist, you know, even though my weight's come down from 87 and a half kilos to 80 kilos now. And my belt, my waist size, because you guys talk about you had to do measurements every now and then. And so I think my waist was 105cm. The last measurement a few weeks ago was 95cm. So 10 whole centimeters around my waist has come off too. And I think that confidence is in me when I go to work and what I do. And even just with things like the journaling, it makes me so focused. So that's the other thing, I suppose, is the focus that we put into certain things and just not wasting time doing other stuff that doesn't mean anything. You know, as you say, put the Paleto principle. Yeah, but the 20% that gives you the 80% return is what I do now. And so at work, I really am, I suppose, that confidence of, you know, just, I know what I. I know what I need to work on and put everything else to the side. So even simple things like our meetings, I block out my time in the morning. That's my time and I'll knock off what I want to. Everything else is in the afternoon and you can come and grab me if you need to, but during that morning, Tom, if I know there's meetings coming up, I can get all the answers or get other people to think for themselves and they come up with the answers by the afternoon. We don't need to have the meeting. So it's kind of those simple principles, but it is that focus on a Sunday where I sit down and I, I sit in this room and I'm kind of looking at what's on for the week. I look at my family time and look at myself and I look at the service and I'll plot all that out and just. Yeah, it makes life so much easier and especially with family too, that, that confidence and that energy that I have. Like we, yeah, it's, it's changed. Heaps out our time together as a family. Like it's always been good but it's like a next, next kind of level. Our, like we play out in the backyard, you know, daylight savings. We're always kind of outside. I take my son to the pool a few nights a week. I'm helping the missus out more. We, we schedule in honey and handsome time as you talk about, talk about it which, you know, when I, when I, you know, we used to spend a lot of time together but it was as a family unit. But it is important just, you know, my wife and myself kind of going out for a meal and having that one on one time which a lot of dads probably understand and don't get because you know, we're, we're all together, we're, we've all got a family and, and, and, and surrounding yourself with the tribe and because we're all dads and because we've all got kids, you know, it's, you see a guy that's just had another baby, good old Shawnee, you know, and he posts. Oh guys, I'm pretty tired and I'm a bit flat. I haven't been getting much sleep. And then all the guys that we've been through that, you know, the messages come through to him, mate, don't worry, you know, you know, it's, you'll get through it mate, and it won't last forever and whatnot. So it's having that whole network of support with the guys as well that you don't get anywhere else. Like I've been in gyms before, I've done work, being with personal trainers and whatnot. But you just kind of rock up, you do your exercise, they tell you what to do and you go. Whereas this is really like just doing weights, doing, being involved with a group of like minded guys that all want to improve guided by you and the coaches. It's a one stop shop for everything, mate. Like I don't need to go to a gym or anything really. Because I can text Swaney and Swaney will tell me, okay, there's an exercise. If you don't want to do this exercise, you can do this other one. Or if you've got an injury, you can ask him what's the best way to resolve it. You keep everyone aligned. We've got the Trog to motivate us all. We've got all the sessions that we do during the week as well the midweek missions and we hear things from other guys that just little nuggets that you can jump on to go, oh that sounds good. Might try to do that as well. So. Yeah, yeah, sensitize.

The biggest takeaway I've gotten from everything you said, just their names is I think you should just do all my Facebook ads from now on, mate. And I'll just keep back and you can fucking. You could just present to the. Anytime the other four or five or six or six million dads in Australia, you know, it's, it's. I mean obviously you guys can, can hear it and see it that the tribe is what it is because of genuine men like you, Ames, you know, the energy you bring. Yeah. And being a stand up leader in the tribe, it's pretty special man, that we have these guys. It's, it's just like the free group I have. You know, it's a no dickhead policy. Like it's that simple. And when you have that you have a strong bond, you have a strong connection with the men. They're all on the same page like you said and looking to improve their lives. And, and the results are, they just compound. I mean what it's supposed to been like 679-989-early-9 months you've been with us now and it's just epic. Like some, we have some guys who are bigger fellas and they lose more weight. We get some guys who put muscle on, it doesn't matter. It's a byproduct product of your standards of having more energy that needs to be specific to your body and mind and what you need to do to perform in life. I mean that's what we do, man. We are. I mean I don't know if I'm a fan of the word or not yet, but we're essentially gamifying the process. It's like let's make it competitive. Like what we're tracking with the my zone with the sleep, how we make sure we set those markers, building our habits where we're essentially tapping into the competitive drive of men to be successful and we Win in what is the hardest but also greatest thing ever, which is, which is the game of life. And you know, I'd known maybe, maybe the answer is the reverse of everything we do. I don't know. But I'm just, I'm always open to guys like yourself who come on board and share some wisdom. What is, what is the challenge you see most men in their 40s facing? Like most, most middle aged men. What are the biggest problems or pitfalls? Because you might have a few mates or associates as well. Maybe not that we're here to, to name drop or hack shit on anyone, but like what do you find is the biggest challenge or problems that are the biggest problems that men face, you know, today as they're heading into the next. Where they fall down.

Yeah, look, I think it is that habit, the good habits, Al. I think they fall away. Like, you know, I know guys around my age and friends and that, that they put a lot of effort into service and you know, for the family. And I think a lot of guys, you know, I'll work, I'll work for the family and that's what I do. I bring in the, bring in the money. But. And they know that they'll probably like me. They know that they need to get a bit fitter and they start putting on a bit of weight and they could have health concerns kind of down the track because it's a slow kind of build up. But they're okay. They kind of go, I'm okay, you know, I can still go out and have a meal and do whatever. But I think they've forgotten about that. The great energy that you can have even more so when you are fit. Because even though RDM is not, not, it is fitness and that's the first, you know, one of our first key pillars. But it's, I think a lot of guys are just like comfortable with where they're at. And I, I don't know what it is, Alex. Like they, they don't want to put in the effort or they just, it's, it's getting, they need to get out of that habit and they've got to want to change. I think that's the biggest thing. Like they're just, they've got to want to do it. They might save it. They want to. And I know I did for a long time. You know, I want to get fit, I want to get better. But I didn't really want until I really was, I really needed, needed to. And I think that is, that's the problem. They're just kind of satisfied. Okay, now I'm okay. But in the back of the head they know. They know that they want to get fitter. A bit of a tummy is coming up here. I'm lacking a bit of energy and I'm tired all the time and I'm just working and not feeling the best. I can't put on the shirts that I want to put on. I've got to put on these bigger ones and all this type of stuff, you know, it's. But that's got to make that call and go now. I've got to do this for myself. You know, maybe the information isn't out there. Maybe I haven't, you know, had an arty. Have you pop up on Facebook yet?

That's right.

I was like that. I wanted to change for a long time, you know, and I didn't know where to go. I don't want to go personal training because it doesn't work for me. You know, it works for a little while and drops off. I don't want to follow a die because I know it drops off. So I was looking for something and I was so glad I found. Found rdm.

Yeah, it's. It's hard too, isn't it? Because whether we. I don't know what terms you use, whether it's sweep things under the rug or, you know, thinking she'll. She'll be right or one day I'll get round to it or I've still got more time or things aren't that bad or like trying to. Isn't it crazy? You know, like we give ourselves for. For a lot of different things and we don't give ourselves a pat on the back. But then we also justify a level of acceptance on certain areas where we know we can improve or be more. Or maybe they have forgotten. Man, maybe people do forget because it's been a while and that's just the norm. I remember guys saying to me, like, this is just like drinking alcohol every night and waking up feeling like, well, it's actually just normal now. Like, yeah, it's not. I didn't. I don't know. It's bad because it's just. Yeah, that just is what it's. It's familiar. So. So it becomes the way it is. And it's. It's crazy because what you're doing is building layers every year of your life aims which is just going to. To set you up completely for the second half. And guys don't recognize how amazing that is because if you do it Properly, you don't need to get the complete end result. You can actually enjoy the process. Yeah, there's up and downs but you actually enjoy the process. And that's the real, that's the real destination, man. That's the type of journey we have. And on the flip side, guys will consistently turn themselves to shit. And you know, it's, it's fascinating, man. Like, guys will consistently pull themselves down bit by bit. Like we had one of our guys who, when we did the maths, he put on like 40 kilos over 18 years. It ended up being like a 40 gram chocolate bar like every, every, every every month. But then that over 18 years became, yeah, I think you put on like 48 kilos or something insane. But people will consistently, you know, destroy themselves over time. But yet when it comes to the flip side, they're not willing to consistently build back. Yeah, bit by bit. It's fascinating, man.

Yeah, it's, yeah, just on that out like the journey as well. Like enjoying the journey and not the destination. Because I think a lot of guys as well go, they set themselves goals and probably there's other guys out there that go looking. I want to lose this amount of weight or I want to hit this target. They hit it and then they just go back to what they were doing before. And I was like that too. I'd hit a target cool. And slowly but surely I just dropped back to where I was before. Whereas now it's about the journey. Like so, yes, I've got my goals and I set my goals, but immediately when I hit it. Okay, what's my next one? You know, I want to continue the journey, the journey now and not just, oh great, I've hit, I've hit this target. And you know, if you're a bit sick or if you're a bit down, you'll get a call from, you know, Matty Bennett or Benny Henry seems to talk to everyone but you get, you'll get a call from the guys. You haven't been on the group for a video, right? Yeah. And that just motivates you too. I've been sick a few times and I'm like, oh, how am I going to get back into it? I remember Matty Henry just Matty Bennett just going, mate, just start off with walking and then reset on Sunday for the weekly temple. Work out what you want to do and get back into it slowly, having that support around you as well. But the journey is what I'm really loving now. Not even the destination, if that makes sense. But I've got the goals, but just loving every day, just doing stuff.

Yeah, yeah, they're good goals. Some of the physical ones, like you need to be able to measure it and when you measure it, you can master it. Aims. One of my mates said today and I was like, yeah, it's a good, it's a good saying. I can't remember exactly what he said. He's like, if you can't. No, what did he say? If you can't measure it, you can't master it. I was like, that's a good, I like that. That's good. Yeah. But you know, when you have these little, these, these little targets, it's almost like this isn't my A to Zl because Zed doesn't exist. Like I'm gonna paint a picture and get towards, you know, JK or L. And then once I hit that, that it's like that, that that tablet or that that post is gone. I've written it. I'm like, ah, that post is sort of gone now. Like what you said with the fourth method, I've got to do another one. So it's like, all right, here's my A to Z again. And my A on this piece of paper is better than the L on the last bit of paper. But then when I get to that sort of J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, I'm like, yeah, but I think I can get further than that. Zed. Yeah, honestly man, like, that's where, that's what I feel like it's become, even for myself with our journey, what we're doing. Like, it's no secret, man, that I'm incredibly ambitious to serve men and have, and have a place that becomes our sanctuary. Or we call it the RDM Ranch. And I want to get a ranch in every state in the country for men and fathers to reconnect to themselves and also to have special programs so they can bring their families as well off the grid and reconnect with each other. And this can be life changing for anyone involved, you know, and if I didn't set that as a long, as a medium to long term goal, it's definitely a goal to have, have one before 2025 and then one to two fully operational by 2030, then I wouldn't go back down into the micro and really work hard to go, okay, cool. I want to make sure that Amesbury, these sets of guys who came here at the six month mark have achieved that. These guys. And so I zoom straight back in and go, okay, what do I need to do for these guys to get them here, here, here. Bang. Here's our new program. Bang. Here's my zone. This is how we're going to track sleepers. And guys look back and be like, especially the coaches, I feel sorry for it, man. They're like, fucking, hello, We've just fucking nailed something. And then we're. Yeah, we're upgrading again. It's not that we throw it out, it's just like we're fucking improving it again and again and again. What's the alternative, though, man? You know, that's it. Yeah.

No, that's. That's right. You know, someone asked me how I am today and I said, no, I'm good. What's the alternative? What you say, you know, but yeah, and when I joined, when I looked at my year goal, it was, you know, it was a simple goal. I just wanted to have energy to buy for my son, you know, and. And now I do. Now he's the one that wants, if we play footy in the backyard, he's like, dad, can we have the halftime break now? And it's not me that wants the halftime break, you know, so it was a simple goal and I've achieved that now. So I am looking at, yeah, what is, what is the next step? What can I. What can I do?

Yeah, yeah, it's awesome, man. What, what have you. I guess, what have you taken? Because this is, this is the thing for guys, when it comes to the relationships, they all start with yourself. Like, you guys out there listening to this or watching it. The greatest relationship is a relationship with yourself first, but then it has a ripple effect out to everyone. And I think there's probably an equal waiting with. With your wife. But just as importantly, if not more in a different way, men, our children, like, they're the ones who pass away on, you know, they carry the torch aims. Like at some stage, yes, it's. It's our kingdom. We are the kings of that. And they may, you know, be part of that for a long period of time. But at some stage, whether we're dead or not or dying or about to die, we've got to pass the torch, man. And what have you used from what we've shown and taught you and worked through and built together for the. The upgraded version of aims, like what. What have you used on your son? Or what. What have you taken from what we do, mate, to apply to the young bloke and have done with him to, you know, help him on his journey? Even at the age he's at like, what are some of the things that you've, you've done?

Well, yeah, he's, he's six years old, Al, and he, he watches everything I do, you know, like, like young kids do. Yeah. And I suppose before IDM to be like, dad would have been watching TV and having a sleep in the afternoon, as I've mentioned, you know, now he, he sees me doing workouts. He wakes up and I'm kind of near the end of a workout, doing push ups and things like that. He'll be inside, he's got his own app now and he'll be doing star jumps. He'll be doing, you know, weights, doing push ups. He'll come outside and do it with me sometimes, you know, he wants to be like me. You know, when, when I open up a jar because my missus might not be able to open jar, I open up, oh, dad, look at your RDM muscles. So every now and then, okay, and I'll open rdm. Here we go, mate. You know, but he, he watches everything. He even, you know, not that he needs it, but he's, because I, I, I, I use my Fitness Pal as an app for tracking my food and calories. He wants to do it too, so I think it's more, I'll let him do it on another app because just so he can top things out. It doesn't matter what he eats. He eats anything, you know, but on his one, it'll be a Kit Kat here or this, that or whatever it is. But he, he, he's just tracking, mate. I'm so proud like that that he's watching me. I just want to be like that. I want to get big, I want to get strong. And you know, I, I don't know if it's, if it's. Yeah, I've actually got here like we had a session with, with Rick, Rick Crowley. But yeah, another thing in rdm, you organized these amazing sessions. Al and I kind of brought this letter tonight. Just it's something that in that session we had to write something from, you know. Yeah. As if, as if, you know, we were, as if we'd passed away and what would my son say at my funeral? You know, and, and I just thought it was something I wanted to share, you know, and basically the letter, I'll just do snippets of it, but you know, thank you, dad, for teaching me how to play sport, to fix things. Cooking, laughing, telling jokes, being a great friend to others and to always make me feel love, loved. Never did I feel I Could not go to you for anything. Yeah. You always made yourself available to me and supported me in everything I did. And you taught me manners. You also taught me to respect myself and make decisions for myself and not to always follow the crowd. You watch me play sports and whenever I achieve something, I'd look up to you first in the crowd because of all the games and practice we play in the backyard together. You taught me how to be a great dad. The way you, you and mum, you treated mum and how you guys both enjoyed life. You know, I couldn't have asked for a better dad. I miss you so much. You taught me to always enjoy life and to always grow as a person. And you know, then we had to write five things. What would he thank me for? And yeah, simple things are like, dad, thank you for always loving me. Thank you for always helping me when I needed help. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to have a great life and being so funny and always giving me a hug or having a joke to say and, and being a great barbecue cook because he loves my barbecue. So it's, it was, yeah, something when we did that session, I wrote that like I was just nine months ago out. I wouldn't have been able to even write this, this letter. I wouldn't have known what to write because I wasn't being an example for him. And now, now I feel like I really am as he wants to do what I'm doing.

Yeah. So, yeah, yeah, it's, it's very special, man, being, being this hero. And yeah, it's something I openly share with the tribe. That is my goal to never not be the hero to my children, regardless of age. You know, I wanted to look up and go, fuck, look what that 70 year old's doing when they're in their 40s and be inspired because I'm still challenging them, genuinely building and developing myself and leading and guiding, fighting and supporting. Like I'm not here just to, you know, always just be this fearless leader to my children and helping them blossom, grow their wings. But I remember that session with Rick, mate, actually, since you mentioned that, it makes me want to read mine. I don't have them on me, but I will. They must be in the office. It was really special that session. Like you can't. Yeah, like, like you guys listen to this. It's not, it doesn't work. Like Rick, Rick's a world class leader with vision work and we brought him in as a special guest and he's a champion of a bloke. You can't just sit down and write it. You need to be in a specific state and work through some exercises. But essentially, yeah, having even just thinking and reflecting over that, okay, I'm dead. Imagine I'm a ghost or a spirit just looking over my funeral. It's like, yeah, what are they saying about me? What are the greatest things they're saying? What have I achieved? What have I shown them? What have I passed down because I'm no longer physically here. But the physical is just a representation of the shell that carries the energy aims. Like you said, it's all energy, man. Like, it really is. Yeah, that was, that was a deep session, man. And it, you know, a few of us got a little bit like the manly men holding back tears. Not like that, but it's just like, oh, wow, this. It caught me a little bit like I got a little bit water in the eyes. I was like, shit, man, this is, it was real. Because you started to see, you know, that, that that day will come one day. It will be our last day. We're probably, you know, maybe we're blessed if we know when that day comes. Maybe we're not. Depends on the circumstance, I guess. But yeah, mate, that's pretty special. Aims like when you're looking at, yeah, what you're giving your son at 6, even the tracking doesn't matter if it's the wrong food, like you're building. See, with the habits, the specifics of the habit can change, but the action itself, the specifics of the action can change, but the protocol, the understanding, the development. He's going to be a little weapon. Yeah.

I think he will be, mate. Yeah, he will, yeah. He's doing like, he's got two kilogram weights that he, that he does. He pumps it, pumps it, pumps it. And then he'll come into the backyard, look that I'm strong, man. I'll pretend I'm falling backwards. If you have a little muck around, wrestle and things like, oh, stop doing those weights, mate.

That's the best, mate. Yeah, weight. Weights are so good for kids, you know, like really is. Yeah, of course, do it properly and all this stuff and build technique. But essentially, yeah, you know, how much does a young bloke weigh?

Oh, he's probably 22 kilos now. Yeah.

You know, so if he's doing push ups, you take about 70% because some staking through the legs. So he's essentially pressing through his chest, you know, 17 kilos. So of course you can lift a couple of kilos. Like people talk about growth, stunning Growth. I mean, mate, I'm 6 foot 4 and 110 kilos didn't stunt my growth.

Yeah, yeah.

It did weights at a young age, but it. It's so good because when I see even Raymond pick up a half kilo around, I'm like, man, this guy's. And he grabs my protein shaker and he's trying to drink it. I'm like, holy. Like, they just. They absorb so much. They're watching when you're not even watching them watch you. Like. Yeah, I think that makes sense. They're watching. You don't even know what they're watching. Sorry. Or what they're taking in. Yeah, it's one of the greatest things ever, man. Like, it's why we. It's why we hammer home, like, fellas listening. That's why we hammer home relationships and connection and stability for their household. Your wife, whether you're married or not, but, you know, whether you have a partner or not, having loved ones around you and stability in the environment moment. Like, you need to be able to look your children in the eyes and say, yes, I'm giving you the best. Like, you are getting the best. Yeah, I am the best for you. Is it pride? Maybe. But is it justified if you're actually backing it up and making it truth? Of course. Like, it's. It's. That's love. It's leadership, man. Not. Not that I put my children above my wife, but I. I just. I can't not look at amazing go. You're not, you know, you're not getting. You deserve more. Like, it kills me, man. I. I look in the mind. I don't look at my children. I go, I'm the best. But you know what I mean? I'm fit, man. I'm giving my children the best I can. You know, I've spent time with them every day. I've got great energy and, you know, to the point where I still get tired. But like you mentioned, there's times when I want to rest. I'm like, oh, daddy wants to rest. And they'll just start jumping on me, thinking I'm joking, laughing. I'm tired, man. I played with you guys for, like, seven hours, and I didn't work out my weekends. My weekends. I'm exhausted, man, because I put so much into them. And then I did a Sunday charge up our coaching video. I'm like, oh, man, Sunday. Sunday is one of the biggest days of the week.

Crazy.

But they think I'm joking because I'm naturally. Always got some level of Energy. But they're like, yeah, just laugh. I'm like, oh, man, I've been. I've been wearing all three of you down for five hours.

Yeah. Three against one. Yeah, I've just got one. I don't how you do it.

That's. You know, they. They work with each other really well. But. But I'm, I'm. I'm glad and grateful that I, you know, as tempting as it is at times, man. Yeah, we teach them technology. It is a part of life, but we. Yeah, mate. I've never had them sitting in front of the TV for five hours at a time, if you know what I mean. But yeah. Yeah, man. What a. What a journey, mate. So far. Yes. What do you. I know you talk about some of the goals you have. What you not. But I guess as we slowly start to wind this up, man, like, has anything crept in yet for 2022? Like, what does that look like for aims? Or what's. What has this opened you up to now you've got a new set of eyes. What does that look like? Oh.

Like I said before, I feel like, yeah, I am at a new base physically, so I'm excited to kind of see. Okay, in 2022. Like I said before, you know, how fast can I run? 5k. I've still got that going. That's kind of something I do most. Most Sundays or every second Sunday now.

And that.

It's just my little guiding light for my fitness in a way. I know we've got so many other things that we track, but we're doing measurements, we've got body blitzes and all these other things that we do. But that for me is like, cool. I am. I just see it. I'm running fast. I'm running fast. I feel better. So that, yeah, I'd like to run faster. I want to do that 10k under one hour physically and just get stronger and fitter, you know, do more bicep measurements. Hopefully they start going up as big as yours, mate. And the chest. Yeah. So physically it's consistent consistency, you know, and doing what I'm doing with the family, you know, we want to. Now with COVID you know, Covid kind of finishing up and hopefully borders opening and we want to travel again and do something. So family is really. We just want to organize a holiday. Some of it, I suppose we haven't been that good at, like, we work a lot more often. It works as well. And looking after the young fella and, you know, kind of holidays come up and like, oh, let's have a holiday in two weeks time. Let's do something. But I want to have something planned that we can look forward to, you know, so we definitely want to plan a holiday and I'll be putting it into my journal and I'll make sure that we do it type of thing, you know, and, and having that honey enhancement time a bit more like more regularly, once every two weeks or one week if we can and things like that. And then work is. Yeah, I've got a lot of energy at work, more than I had before and it's trying to get my team more efficient. So what I'm learning in rdm I kind of teach my guys as well. So I've got a team of people that work for me and I just want to get them efficient and hitting goals like what I've been doing, I suppose. Yeah. So that's, yeah that's, that's 2022. But I'm just loving the journey out as you can tell. So you know, I'm just every day and the tribe, I can't talk enough just about the guys in the tribe. They're so, so motivating and it was something I suppose when I first joined up. I'm like jeevous guy Al. He seems pretty full on. I don't know am I going to be able to do what he wants me to do. But you don't, you know, you want the best for everyone, you know, and you do bleed for the guys on the inside as you say. Like you, you give us everything. All the tools are there and with Swaney and Drew and all the coaches, you know, especially Ken Levan, world class kind of nutrition coach, like he's come in now and we do these sessions during the week. Like you guys give us the formula to work with and then the tribe just keeps us accountable, I suppose in a way, you know, to doing those exercises. So I'm just really enjoying it. Like I've got friendships from it as well, you know, got guys that we call each other on the weekend now and say I got guys up in Queensland and Sydney and everywhere else and if they come to Melbourne it's like, hey James, if you can catch up, it'd be great. You know, there's no pressure. It's that whole what we say in the tribe, you know, the share but we don't compare. So we share stuff with each other and just motivates each other. It's a, it's an amazing place to be, mate. So 2022, I'm hoping to be there all the way 2022 to 2030, mate. I'm there for the journey now.

The decade of dad's, mate. Definitely certainly needed after a tough, tough, tough start to the decade for. For a lot of men, mate, been very, very volatile and unstable environment. You know, with everything that's happened the last nearly two years, well, at least 18 months. Crazy. Yeah. It's guys like you that make a name that's obviously a given, man. And, and this is what I love. No one person's bigger than what we do here, including myself, mate. And yeah, if I had a group full of deadbeats and we had no Amesbury's, mate, I would have packed this in ages ago, mate. Other things, that's for sure. It's just. It's such a strong message, man, because of guys like yourself. But what a session, mate. I guess I'd love to. You know, every father has the capacity to lead, lead. And I love that every father on the inside is leading, which is why I guess I always like wrapping up our podcast with your advice. Like what? You know, if there's a father out there, you know, listening to this or watching this, who is stuck or feeling like he's in a bit of a rut or struggling or. This isn't a plug to join us, man. You don't need to say. You've already said enough, man. Is it a sales pitch or a call to action? What's your advice, man? Like, you're becoming a statesman of a high performance father. You know, family, self and service, doing well, mastery in habits, in time and structure. And we all have a different way to, you know, I love having a wide range. That's why I enjoy the podcast. But all of us have specific words, cues. We have a different way to communicate, value, all be some advice, I guess, one, maybe two or a couple of key pointers or something you'd love to give some guys out there to get. To get back on the horse, man, and take control and charge of life again.

Yeah, look, I suppose what I'd say, Al, is if I can just like, if there's a guy out there that was like me before I started. So if you're a guy that has put on a bit of weight and, you know, you won't want to lose it and you want to feel better, you want to do more for your family, you want to not, not do more. It's just actually having energy for your family and being involved and being present. Like, join up, join up. Like, yeah, but it's.

It's yeah.

Look, if, if you, if you want to do better, you know, if you want to be better and you, you don't know what to do and you don't, you know, if you've been in gyms before or if you've done these dad board challenges. But you want something that's consistent and for life. That'll give you balance. Yeah. The advice from me is, you know, join up. But also the other advice would be about saying join up is like, get your sleep. You know, sleep is so important. Do not do what I was doing. And thinking sleep is for when I, when I'm dead. You know, it's not burning the candles on both ends. That's not going to help anyone. You gotta sleep is so I've realized how important it is doing just walking that'll. If you're not doing anything, just start walking. Just start walking. Do that. Just 20 minutes a night in the day, whenever you can at lunch. I go for walks at lunch now when I know I can't walk. Walk in the morning or night, do some walking. Eat the right food, but don't eat too much of it because I was eating the right food, but eating too much, but eat the right food, you know, and yeah, like just be present with you, with your family and, and try to sit.

Yeah.

I mean for me, journaling is so important. Like if you can and take some time to reflect on your week and just take some time to be by yourself and actually sit and think about where do I want to go, what am I doing? And just putting it down in a plan for. Doesn't have to be six months, a year. Just even if you say for next week I want to do this, but you can have a goal down the track and then just break that down into, okay, in six months, if I can do this, in three months, if I can do this,. In one month I'll do this and in one week I'll do this. So that means I need to do this daily. You know, it's those. It can be simple. It can be simple. And I think consistency matters. And I think Winston Churchill had a great quote. You know, I think it was continuous effort, not strength or intelligence is the key to unlocking your potential. Yeah. So it's that effort, you know, and waking up with determination got a bit of a satisfaction. All those type of things, you know, I love my quotes. So it is. Yeah. The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine. Yeah, I think. Yeah. Just try to do that. Start with sleeping. Right. And Then you'll start getting some energy. If you want more energy. Yeah, just do the basics. Do the simple things.

Yeah, Love it, man. Daily routines. Sleep's critical. Writing. Writing is powerful. It's why we do have those points in our journal. You know, you can. You can never write as quickly as you think, so it forces you to slow down. Otherwise you'll become incoherent. You'll be worse than a six year old. And you don't want that, right? So you're like. Or a 4 year old who can't even draw. So you're like, okay, well, I have to slow down my thoughts. I gotta stop. Think about it again. Think about it in different words. What the fuck am I thinking about? Why am I thinking about that? Okay, let's express that. And then they can dissolve it. Like it's, it's just hard, mate, because it's such a powerful thing that's as old as time, you know, writing like the indigenous tribes here. What about some of the amazing artwork and stuff they've done, man, in caves and rocks and that's insane. Like. Like it's. It's as old as time, man. And the hard part is it got so commercialized between journaling and the word gratitude, it just got flogged to death. But it really is a powerful practice that can just, you know, pull you into just writing a few lines, stopping the world, slowing everything down and, and being present again. It really is. But yeah, it's. It's a powerful thing. And, and look, I think, and I appreciate you obviously promoting the tribe, mate. You are, you are a champion. But you know, I think to sum it up, because what went through my head, I was like, why, why though? Like, why, why would you join? Like, why would Amesbury join? Why would anyone join? Why would these guys do it? And what went through my head, I don't know if I can put together right or not. But when you, when it came. Started coming in, when you spoke about, you know, being bleeding for the tribe, I was, I thought. It just came to my head. And this is when I get these revelations and quotes when I want to speak to, you know, guys like soffits. It's so cool, mate. It was something like, if you can find, if you can find something that is more connected to your greatest version than you currently are, you're onto a winner, man, because you've got someone who believes in you more than you believe in yourself. Like, how could you? Like, that's what it is. Aims. I'll have to watch this On a replay and write that down. I think that's exactly what I'm like, who. Like, if I didn't have that in the tribe, like, I say, I want to get the RDM ranch. And I've got guys, man. I've got guys sending me pictures of land and different. Different lots. And they'll like this one. Al. It's up at Inverel. This one down is in Victoria. Al, again, I'm like, yeah, man, I haven't thought about the ranch for three weeks because I've been on this, this and this. And here I go. I've just got a picture from. From Zach Mason. Yeah. Our launch coach going, oh, here's one. Let's get it. I'm like, so it's. It's. It's. It's critical, man. It's just exceptional. When you see that, when. When you say that, you're like, this is. Or maybe extraordinary is the word because it's very rare today. Ames, everyone wants a slice, right? Everyone wants to take something from you, even if it's your attention. Attention, yeah, that. Like, people say, what's the cost? What's the cost of anything? Like, your cost of your time, your energy, your attention. There's this costs everywhere, mate. Life is trades. Life is negotiations. It's. And it's. It's a. It's a crazy old world out there, man. But there's a lot of people who, you know, trying to shank other people just to create the illusion of elevation. And I'm very proud of the tribe like that. And I haven't kicked many guys out, but I'm proud of that, too, because it's maintained the integrity of the group, and that's something I'll fight to the death for, man.

Yeah. And connection now, like, yeah, you connected to me in the ads, you know, at the very start, so. And within the. Within the group, the connection of every. Because we're all on the same path. We're all wanting to improve ourselves, so we are all connected. Like, I was talking to stabs the other day and one of the other guys in the group, and we're just saying. It's funny, you feel like you can tell the guys in this group that you may not have even met physically in real life, but you feel like you could tell them some of your most personal, personal things more than mace that you've known for 30 years, because we're just all on the same kind of wavelength. Yeah, it's about that wavelength. We're all on the same wavelength.

Yeah.

Other than Cowman.

Other than cowman, maybe, but it's something else, man. I thought I could talk or talk quickly. Beats me for dead, man. You could play me at 2x and I wouldn't be as fast as Cowman. Yeah, definitely, mate. Alignment. That's why it's the first pillar, mate. That's very important for me in all areas of life being. Being aligned. But awesome, awesome episode, Ames. I've really enjoyed this, mate. I hope you've gotten as much enjoyment and values as I have, mate. And for those listening or watching, I hope you guys got a lot of value out of this. I really enjoy seeing the other fathers share their stories. I'm not on how successful they are. We know what we do works and it works incredibly well. It's just going, hey, man, here's a guy you can connect to. And listening to Amesbury today. You know what? It might improve your life 3% because you'll change your morning routine or you will watch your sleep. Sleep, you know, or you'll spend time with the kids or you'll create a habit and you'll show your kids. Yeah, but like that, that's what I love, you know, and sometimes their emails reaching out, going, fucking this episode with this bloke was amazing. And I've never met this bloke before. And like, some we get a lot of. And thank you guys, obviously who reach out and send us messages and whatnot and enjoy the shows that we do. But it's really cool having you on Ames. I get more value out of this stuff that I do doing my ones individually because it just sits. Like I said, it's connection, man. Awesome stuff. Hope you guys enjoy this. Make sure you dive on into more episodes and get those gold nuggets if you need to listen to this again. Of what Ames was sharing in his story, his amazing success anywhere he keeps going and above all else. Yeah, take those nuggets and run with a man. Take action. And it's never too late to start improving your life with the right habits, the right actions. Especially with guys like Ames who shares their story. Thanks, mate.

Thanks, Al. Cheers, mate.

Oh, man.

Fantastic.

I'll press. I'll press record now, Ames. Is that right?

You forgot to press it. Let me go get some mojo. I'll just start.

I'm glad I didn't have my night rider. I'd be cooked if I'd be like, you got 10 minutes, Aims.

Thanks, Al.

Thanks.

That was good, mate.

1,000 minutes a day. It's a lot when you wasted on shit that doesn't serve you or move yourself or your family forward you are bleeding the most valuable resource that you and I never get back. How much time do you think you have and how much quality do you think you've had? Don't be a fool like the masses thinking you'll cheat the system or get round to it one day or worse just accepting life and sinking back into a slumber of regret. This is your moment your time. You're cut from a different cloth. You have the hunger and desire to be more and live more otherwise you wouldn't be here. So stand up find the golden nuggets in this episode you just listened to and align immediate action with them and where you want to go. You are worthy. This is your life, you are the king and this is your kingdom. Now go and claim it by showing not telling and be the real leader you and I both know you were born to be.