5 Mar 2019 · 83 min
A coach shares eight principles for a successful year: pay attention to your attention, lead your family, stay agile, align with your values, build your tribe, use time wisely, invest in what you control, and go all in. Every yes means saying no to something else.
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Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement podcast. The point and purpose of these episodes, as always, is to have a point and purpose towards helping you win the second half in life by building a path of becoming the best father, husband, man and member of your community that you can be. We do this with various ways of connecting. Life is connection. And as you hear these words spoken time, time and time again, know that the driving force of connection in life is energy. Which means that how you turn up as a father, as a husband, as a valued member of society will always start and end with how you turn up as a man within yourself. First, this is why it's my mission, my purpose, our mission, our purpose through Real Dad Movement to inspire, motivate, educate and guide you into thoughts, feelings, actions and a change in your belief systems to rise up, cut the shit from your life and live and leave a real legacy. When dads win, everyone wins. And when you win, I win. Let's get moving forward, mate, right here, right now. How to have a successful year. Firstly, before we dive into this episode, really want to commend, appreciate, acknowledge all of you men out there listening to this who are seeking to improve your life, seeking to create change and seeking to create a better standard of living for yourself and the environment of your children, which you, to a large degree, everyone's slightly different in their family dynamics, but to a large degree, control. It's a very powerful thing. When a man owns mistakes is an interesting point, but when he owns his mistakes, fuck ups, or owns points of life where he, he knows there could have been more, there could have been a better delivery, a better process, a better level of actions, a better level of emotions and all of the above. We all have that though, so don't beat yourself up. You need to be kind to yourself, man. And it's quite fitting that this episode, or ironic really, that this episode is talking about how to have a successful year. When you look at it and go, well, the year's done now, like it's over. Yes, I want to be better. Yes, I want to improve and that's why you're here. And again, I want to thank you for that. And really, I really do appreciate you guys, even if I never meet you, like I've said several times in several podcasts, purely having that trust and that faith in the universe that some of you will receive this, you'll tweak and adjust your life. 1%, 3%, 12%, 500%. I don't know, like it. How can you measure these things? Well, I Guess you can in our program. But what I mean is you're looking to improve and you improve your life and that's, that's fucking awesome, man. Because there's so many. It's crazy. It really is. Unless. Unless you're in a really shit environment all the time. You know, we do have guys who in their careers, they work with a lot of people who are just fucking downers all the time, man. Like always negative. It's always something wrong. There's always shit going on. It's always someone's fault, man, that would crush me. That would kill me. I remember when I was young, just doing casual work for a job agency. So I'd go around it all. I'm not, definitely not bagging out the construction industry. That's just where I spent my time. There are great areas of the construction industry and like every industry, there's good and bad. But my experience was in that industry and just being on different job sites. And that's why I said that. So there's obviously context and a point to this being on different job sites. Different jobs. Whether it's concreting some building some, some repair work, literally some demo work. I was like, shit, man, like it was crazy. There were some guys that were just really upbeat go getters getting into it and just very vibrant. And then other guys was, was like a, an absolute fucking pain in the ass to work. It's almost like, you know, like they, they didn't want to be there at all. And I'm like, you're getting fucking paid for this, man. Like if you don't want to be here, go somewhere else and find something else to do to get paid. I love doing it because I was getting fit, healthy, strong. I was coming to the end of my schooling career. I was doing like my PT certification. I did that when I was 17. But going through all that stuff was just good to keep fit, strong, healthy. I definitely caught the bug from being that obese, overweight boy, now coming into hitting his straps in 16, 17, 18 years of age and really, you know, starting to see the rewards of training and health and lifestyle adjustments. I couldn't believe it, man. It's like, this is crazy, you know, so it's, it's. My point is, mate, if you're here listening to this, yes, we all have those moments, yes, we all have a little voice inside. But you should really commend yourself. If you listen to one, listen to more. If you listen to 10, listen to more. If you Listen to 50 or 100 of our episodes. Great. That's awesome. You will see that the journey and how it's progressed and changed over the years of this, this podcast in itself and how my journ, he's progressed and changed. And you should really give yourself a pat on the back for that because the world is riddled with men and women, everyone. The world is riddled with people who just don't give a fuck. They don't want to do anything, they don't want to improve, yet they stick their hand out and they think things should change and then they disappear and escape into their little fucking trinkets and treats of Netflix or drugs or alcohol or porn or all these other little things that just give them that little fucking hit of dopamine or that bit of fulfillment or significance which are short lived and temporary. And it's like shit, man. Like you living life. You look over 80 years. Were you alive for even 5? Time is so precious. You wasted on so much bullshit, not even in your actions, but in your thoughts, feelings and emotions. That's waste. I can't stand it. I can't. If I'm healthily, I'd like to think healthily addicted to growth because we have family, self and service. So I can't be addicted to business, otherwise I'd be a hypocrite because my family will fall down. But addicted to growth as a whole in those three areas, absolutely. It's the only way to be. It is the way forward. It is what a high performance father is like. You are pioneering this change with me whether you're a member or not. Whether you're a member right now or not. January could be the month, February could be the month you might go through and we'll catch up and we'll have a conversation in June. And that's the moment. But essentially we are pioneering a change for what real leadership can look like and standing up to be a greater father and man in life. It doesn't take away from the great things you've currently done or the assumption that you don't love or care about your kids. It's just shit, man. We're here. What can we do? What is possible. We can reach for more. So yes, it might seem ironic because the years passed or about to pass on on this episode, but also it isn't because it's paving the future for you. Because guess what? I'm going to do the exact same fucking thing I did this year. And that thing or things are eight points. Eight key points. I wouldn't call them principles. Principles are layered into this, you know, HPF principles and values and what we do and some of our Al's absolutes or universal laws that we, that we live by. You know, when I say that it's universal laws, you can't have day without night. Lots of different things. You know, when you say yes to something, you say no to something. Like it's. It's done in a way with terminology that you connect to and understand. Not this is the law or not this is the universe and energy and vibrations and frequencies. You know, that. That stuff's all true. But where can we apply this? What can we do with the information, the words that I speak, the terminology that we apply this to in your situation, your circumstance, so you can move forward? These are the stepping stones to take. I can't just dive deep and talk about fucking chakras and all this sort of stuff. And what the root chakra means for survival and what the throat chakra means for speaking. What would that even mean? If I can't help you first explore yourself to understand that you are connected physically and mentally to yourself. Your consciousness, your life. This is a part of your life, a part of you. Let's. Let's be real, but let's not just be black and white, you know, a spade's a spade. What type are you talking about? A shovel or a suit on the four suits of cards? So, yeah, life is muddy, life is messy. Life has lots of different points of perspective and reflection. But I'm not going to sit here just on some sort of fucking high horse talking about motivation or lessons or this is what you need to do, or here's my advice, or like I said, just going all the way to science or all the way to spirit. It's going, look, man, here are eight key points. And the reason why it's not so ironic when I think about it that you should listen to this now is because these eight points, I'm fixed to replicating them next year. Because inside of them, it's not fixed. It's challenge, it's growth, it's changing, adjusting, it's pivoting. So you can adopt these next year. In fact, a lot of you, I mean, I'm releasing this, you know, shooting this, recording this, and you're gonna listen to this probably on, on New Year's Eve or the day after or the day after or the day after that. Because I understand it, we've all got different things going on at this time of year, but this is being recorded and released on New Year's Eve. Like it is New Year's Eve right now, but you might listen to this on the 8th of January. Fucking game on, man. You've still got 357 days of the years of the beautiful. Let's go. So how to be, how to have a successful year is absolutely applicable to 2022. And this is why I did it, because it's remembrance for me to go, fuck, man, this is why 2021 was a great year for you, Al, in family, self and service. All three. Like, I bagged it. I got the hat trick. All three. Doesn't mean it didn't come without pain, without loss, failure, momentary fear or scarcity or all the other words you want to use that. That highlight the opposite of day, which makes it night or right or wrong. But shit, man, this is great for me too, because I'm looking at these eight points. I'm like, mate, I'm absolutely going to be applying all of these again in 2022. And the way that they're applied. Yeah, it might be a bit different. If you apply them full stop for you and your life, and you haven't applied these, you'll be hugely successful. I guarantee you that. Man like you, you can't not. And this will all make sense when we go through it. So whether you want to grab a pen on paper, you can. Whether you're listening on your phone, you can still listen while you go into the notes section. Bang. Point 1. 0.2. 0.3. You can. You can absolutely do that. I'm going to expand on each one a little bit. I hope this isn't too long an episode. I'm estimating It'll be around 40 minutes, even though the intro's taken 10 minutes. But look, these eight points. I'll read the titles to all of them and then we're going to hook on into it. And then final thoughts and wrap up season three of our podcast. And wrap up what's been an absolutely crazy, chaotic year. Nothing like any other year of experience that we've experienced and the world has experienced. It's been pretty fucking savage in a lot of ways, but the world is in a traumatic state. There's a lot of fear. There's a lot of uncertainty. There's a lot of bullshit that gets pushed onto us. And when I say bullshit, I guess it's not about facts, figures, or science. It's just really the way that a lot of mainstream media has handled things. Definitely. There's been an agenda of fear and focus. You know, this is our very first point. Pay Attention to attention. Because when you're looking at specific numbers and narrowing in on that, you forget to look at other numbers, like the survival rate of what's going on right now. But anyway, maybe that's for another episode, another day, but I really look at this, I'm like, fucking hell, man. If you do not open your eyes to your own control, what you can do, your responsibility, you will be led astray. You will have others who may not have your best intentions at heart, steer and direct your life and absolutely fucking control you and your life. Take that however you want, whether it's symbolic, whether it's literal, whether it's real, whether you think I'm talking about the government or an ex Mrs. And you're trying to coordinate, be amicable with your children. It's fucking everything, mate. It's all things outside of yourself that isn't connected in line or in love with you, who you are and who you continue to become. Eight points. Eight reasons why 2021 was a phenomenally successful year for me and for many of the fathers, and I say many, not all, because some of our fathers started their journey late this year. Other fathers have been with us for four years. So many of the fathers on the inside also had an incredibly successful year, despite the chaos and what was happening to and around all of us. I'll go through these eight points and then we'll just peel them apart one by one. Like I said. You can write these down, you can make a note of this, but essentially these will serve you well if you log them, lock them in, apply them, remember them, reflect on them, put them on your fridge, put them in your workspace, write on a post it note, like I said, in your phone, in a book, in your journal, if you've got the HPF journal. I'm not sure if we have any left. We might have a couple more left for the general pop the general public. But put these somewhere where you will remember them and apply them. These eight points. First one is pay attention to attention. The second one is leaders lead. Third is agility and adaptation wins. Fourth is realign with alignment. Fifth is tribe is key. Sixth is time is temporary. Seventh is invest in certainty and control. Eight is go all in which like I said in the previous episode, four Doors, every man faces this. Really piggybacks nicely off that episode to help you paint a whole picture of maybe where you went right, where you went wrong, where things were up, where things were down. Whatever it may feel like for you and what are the facts might represent, you're here you're now. Let's conquer 2022. Let's dominate. We're entering the year three. We're entering year three, the third year of what we have coined the decade of Dads. Because there is no alternative. The world needs strong men, strong fathers, leaders. Yes, you and me. Us. Not piss week or piss poor performances. Falling away and just castrating or throwing stones on others. Living as a victim and falling apart. Deteriorating, decaying and not utilizing the gift that life really is. Point number one, pay attention to attention. You know, focus is such a powerful thing, but the way that you apply focus or where you apply your focus is whatever draws in your attention. So whatever draws your attention self imposed or influenced by others. So it could be you or it could be others. You could call that a temptation, a distraction, an interruption, it doesn't matter. The point is wherever you're applying your attention, you're going to start to narrow in and apply focus to that. So, all right, this has got my attention. And then you're going to start to use time and energy. Your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, everything. You're going to start to construct the building blocks of reality with time and energy. Because whatever's drawn your attention has now become your point of focus. Like I said, you could pick any example in the world, you know, anything, whether it's health related nutrition, mindset, relationships, you know what's going on with disease and cancers and you know, it's like, fuck, mate, whatever you focus on, that's going to become your building blocks of reality. So when you're looking at your mobile phone and you have access to, well, essentially thousands and thousands of different environments at the click of a button or typing in some words in a search engine, you got to be careful because when that draws your attention, you start to focus. That's going to be the building blocks of your reality. So what might be happening in Fiji or Tahiti or Spain or England? Like it's not my direct reality. Maybe with resources or trade or exports or imports, maybe there might be something that influences and affects me. Like this AdBlue short. He's like, what the fuck is going on with that man? Like, it looks like we've forfeited 80% of our AdBlue production to a different country or to China. I'm like, man, this is savage. I went to get some AdBlue the other day and everywhere was out and one of our cars is a Ford Enduro. And I was like, fuck me dead, man. Like, if we don't get AdBlue and 500Ks. Our car's fucked. It won't even start. I couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it. So, yes, of course you can be influenced by other environments. We luckily found some driving up the freeway and we got some and we're topped up and good for now. And I'm sure things will turn around. But the point is, yes, you can be influenced by other environments, but essentially, you must pay attention to where you're applying your attention, because that becomes your focus. And more often than not, with these two resources that we never get back, time and energy, you're applying them to an external environment that's not even your external immediate environment. That means here and now. I'm sitting in the office. I am in my office hq. I'm in my office doing this podcast. Essentially, nothing else in the world right now exists. This is my environment. I'm paying attention here. Otherwise the podcast would be dog shit. You wouldn't listen. It'd be fuck all value in there, because I'd just be off with the fairies. Remember, these are two resources you never get back. Time and energy, meaning that what you're focusing on, which starts with where you apply your attention. So I'm paying attention. Okay, I'm focusing in on that now. It's almost like a stepping stone. All right, now let's start to build. Left hand, right hand, time, energy. Let's start constructing the building blocks of what? Our realities. That means this would have to be one of the most powerful things anyone could wield and control in life. So pay attention here, because this truly will shape your reality. Just like right here and right now. You're paying attention to this episode, which means you're focusing on this episode, which means you're listening to the golden nuggets of what success can look like off the back of these eight points that I'm sharing with you. That's way more powerful than looking at something else and being driven by fear or some other bullshit you don't even control that you're allowing to influen or change your way of thinking, your thoughts, your emotions, your feelings. Guess who picks up on that? Your children. Are you really leading them? That doesn't mean I'm fearless. And courage isn't about fearlessness. It's knowing what the right thing is to do and applying your efforts in that direction and doing what you said you would do. You can't have any of that, man, if you don't have awareness of the power of attention and what it actually becomes. Point number two. Leaders lead, I thought, I'm not saying I wasn't. We all have the capacity to lead, including our children, my children, in different ways. But I thought I was the apex of leadership when I was younger, fit, healthy, strong, leading by example. I was fat and now I was fit and healthy and an elite athlete. Like it. Life has so many moving parts, man. Like it's, it's so different to what you think. Leadership looks absolutely nothing like what you think, expect, are told or believe. It looks like it doesn't, man. It doesn't. People think they're leading because of their social media posts or other bullshit. Happy smiles on faces and everything's fucking hunky dory and great. And I'm fitter, I've got a six pack or I'm an athlete or I've got money. And leadership looks absolutely nothing like what's perceivable or perceived or what you think it looks like or what someone tells you it looks like. 99% crazily enough of true leadership happens when you're alone, when you're facing adversity after adversity, when you have your integrity challenged and you choose to continually expand and grow in the face of risks, in the face of death, in the fires of everything that wants to pull you apart and pull you down and challenge you and tear you away. That's what true leadership is, man. And you sort of see that like the overnight successes of famous soccer players or tennis players. Like, no, they were working, they were working behind closed doors for decades to get to this point. The byproduct or end result of that leadership, which so often goes unrecognized because you're doing it alone. I don't mean you're doing it alone. I don't go it's alone. But there are a lot of things you need to do inside of yourself. There's a lot of actions, the belief systems, following through commitments, consistency. Like that's you, man. Doesn't matter how amazing your team is around you, you need to take the step, you need to do it. But the byproduct, end result, yeah, that's what your family sees, that's what your peers, your colleagues, the community, that's what they see after the fact, which when it's measured over time, that actually really shows what you're made out of, that shows who you are, that shows the level of leadership that you've actually expressed. Because leadership is after the fact. It's impossible to look at someone and their actions especially felt, like I said, they're Working behind closed doors. But it's impossible. Even exposed to the open. Look at someone and go, he's leading or he's about to lead. You don't know that. You're making assumptions. You're having a guess. Even. Even on the footy field or in a sport, you're looking at someone like, well, he's not. You don't know. And then you look after. It's almost like a flick of a switch. That was then, that was here, this is now. That is then again, okay, cool. Now you can paint a picture because there's a passage of time and go, buck, man, he really led his troops around the field today. Or that first half, man, he was a real leader. Like, he dominated. You don't know that because it's still in play. So everything else that the family in the world and your family and everyone sees, that's after the fact. Leadership is a lag measure. That means after the facts. That means after the actions. Leadership is recognized. You can lead in the moment, but again, that's only ever a recognition once the moment has passed. To make a comparative analysis that, yes, I did, did this at this level. And we performed, we won, we got the result, we executed, we did what we said we would do, we committed, we broke through like that. That's when. So you can lead. But leadership is measured after the fact, and it always is. And it does show, you know, I guess, the level of leadership that you have expressed. It shows the man that you are and who you are. And that's really hard because like I said, a lot of the times you have no idea what that looks like. It's just turning up and having a crack at life, right? It's like, I don't know, what is the answer? What does that look like? And it's. Why, as temporary as life is with certain things, it's sort of delayed gratification. There must be a passage of time to see it and go, yes, this is. This is tried, this is tested, this is true, this is real. Look, I love what we're doing here and the legitimacy, what we're painting, the results, the runs on the board, the testimonials, our videos, like everything we're doing, man, it's building such a. I know this sounds funny, but it's building such a strong case. Because I like using that word case in showing the world that, hey, we're fucking here, we're here to stay. And I've openly said this. Like, I want this to outlive me. I want a high performance Father to be something that goes for generations and generations. My son may take it up, he may not. That's okay, I'm not going to force it on him. But essentially, this is something I want to outlive. Me. Us, you and me, all of us, for that generational change which already happens with the families and whatnot. But essentially, like I said, leaders leading leadership after the fact. You know, when you look in 15 years time and I'm in my 50s, it'll be like, you know, I'm well into my 50s. We're like, well, fuck, man, Al's been doing this shit for like 25 years now. And it's like, you know, like this is when you can look at it and it's just like, well, here it is. And maybe I'll be doing a podcast and I'm 55 years of age going, hey, I fucking told you so, didn't I? Here we are, I'm 55 now, I fucking told you, here we are. Everything's moving forward, we're building, we're winning. We've now served over 30,000 men and this is the results that they've all gotten. Like, when you really want to lead in life, man, you must recognize that a lot of the times true leadership is inside of yourself. The actions you take and what you do. Like that leaders lead. That's how it's not a facade, it's not pretend, it's not short term, short lived, like true leadership. Like, I don't like creating negative connotations. You're a good leader, you're a bad leader. Like, no, no, there is no, for me, there's no such thing as a bad leader. You're not a leader at all. If what you're doing moving forward is detrimental or bad. That's not leadership at all. And maybe that's different. Maybe that's just a quick little opinion of mine. But essentially I connect the word leadership with yes, leading, doing what you said you would do. And a lot of times that's done alone or in your own company to move through so you can see the fruit and rewards for yourself and externally through the world. Point three, Agility and adaptation wins. We all assume every single day, we assume in life. It's hard. Like, I hate assumptions. I really don't like assumptions. Assumptions and expectations are a very fine line. They're almost the same thing. Yes, I have expectations of actions, of standards, not necessarily always of outcomes of others, but definitely of action standards of myself. And yeah, I'm human expectations of outcomes of my own Actions, for sure. If I do X, Y and Z, I should be getting this. And a lot of times that'll tie in, whether it's as simple as training, connecting with my children. But we assume every day when you're driving your car, you assume that old mate's going to stay on his side of the two white lines and you'll stay on yours. Like that is a subtle sub. Well, probably unconscious assumption because it's just autonomous. It's what you're doing. You're driving past dozens or hundreds or thousands of cars, depending on your commute and what you're doing every day. That's just one example. We assume every single day. The problem here with not being agile, not being willing to adapt, is you're making larger, more active assumptions, whether it's your work, your career, your belief systems around that. You know, when you make these large active assumptions, you're creating an illusion of security. You feel like there's four concrete walls around you and that's it. Just like me with the gyms. Like, I got out of my gym at the end of 2019 and, you know, it was a failing gym, like I didn't have any love for it anymore. I went all in on RDM at the back of 20 and, you know, I look at it now with everything that's happened and I was like, man, I thought I was so secure because I had four walls, I had physical training equipment. And just like this, here and now, right? Like, predominantly, yes, we catch up in person, but predominantly our programs online. The Internet could fold tomorrow and I'd be fucked. But I guess I'll put it to you this way. If the Internet went tomorrow for all of us, there'd probably be bigger programs, bigger programs, bigger problems than my program and what we do, that's for sure. Logistics, the way everything runs, supply of energy, power, food, everything. So again, I'm making an assumption that because that in itself as a system is so large, I have security. But this is the thing. You must be willing to adapt and change and adjust. That's why I still do live events. That's why I don't just do advertising on Facebook. It's why we're looking at multiple events next year or in 2022 with non members connecting with men, setting up chapters or tribes in certain states where it's like, yeah, man, this is our gathering. This is where we come together in person. It could be a park. It doesn't have to be a gym or a space or a setting where we don't have Control. This is the point. You create an illusion of security, like four concrete walls that becomes your level of dependence. And a dependence over something you have little to control, no control over. Which means when it becomes a house of cards, everything fucking falls apart. Just like the gyms. When I turned in the online space, I wouldn't say that there were people, you know, bickering or. Or is it, is it snickering? I don't think snickering is a word, but yeah, like looking and just sort of turning their nose and going, ah, yeah, that's online space. What are you talking about? Like, we have. We're real. We do real things with people in person. And yeah, I get that. I ran fucking gyms for 10 years. I'm a gun. Live in person. I fucking love doing stuff in person. The fact that I've been able to master the online space makes me an absolute dynamo when I'm in person. Because collectively, we bring more connection to life. When we see guys and we do events and they're guys I've never met before and I'm meeting them for the first time, it's like, fuck, we've known each other for years and I love that, I love that connection. But a lot of people were bagging. Maybe not hoping, maybe hoping, but predicting that everything I was going to do was going to fail. No, no, no. Gyms, man. Gyms are all the way brick and mortar. Brick and mortar. That's what they kept saying. It's like, yeah, how's your fucking brick and mortar going now, mate? You had no control. Definitely things that I didn't agree with that really hindered the health and fitness space, which was unfortunate. But hey, I fucking adapted. I was agile. I adjusted because everything changes. Agility and adaptation wins. That doesn't mean you need to turn 180, but everything changes, man. Fatherhood changes. Your marriage changes. You can't communicate and talk to the missus when you're in your early twenties like you do now. It's not the same. Doesn't make sense, doesn't work. Different conversations, different time strains, different stresses, different dynamic of the actual household with who else can be listening? Marriage changes, business changes. Life is a constant of change. The one thing that's always the same in life, the dichotomy, right, is change. Being willing to adjust, adapt, improve, perform with agility is the reason why there are always winners in a losing season. Look, I'm not saying that this season is a loss for everyone. And I'm not highlighting losers. What I'm saying Is this is a pretty crazy year that's passed. Like, it's like I said, I've never experienced a year like this. And I'm sure most of you haven't. Maybe some of the elders in their 80s and early 90s, they still have remnants of the Second World War and other hardships that came through, you know, 50, 60, 70 years ago, but 80 years ago, but essentially, yeah, this is a tough season. But being able to adapt, being agile, upskilling yourself, leveling up, like doing 4,000 videos over the last few years has given me the ability to go fucking bang, man. Like, I know my shit, I'm living and breathing it. I can talk all this stuff that comes through a lot of the times. There may be some bullet points, but it's all through the subconscious. It is part of who I am. The words I speak, the wide vocabulary that I use. You'll notice that, like, I might say amazing here and then phenomenal there and then fantastic here and then great. They're like, I don't want to say fucking amazing 10 times. So literally partitioning points of my brain to bring in or my mind to bring in words with charisma, to connect, to help see things your way. Working with just fathers who are using the same terminology that fathers would use, not children or mothers or the elderly. It's. I've been able to perform. That's why I've been successful. Constantly adapting, constantly upskilling up, leveling, not trying to go it alone and think that, yeah, now just do it the same. Have all control. Giving some trust away to our team, to our members, being willing to adapt. When you do that, you'll win. That's point 3.4. Realign with alignment. There's doing things right and there's doing the right thing. Neither of those will be true for you if you're not aligned with what it is that you desire in your life and what you will and are willing to spend precious time and energy on that's going to create the life that you want. Like, it's just not possible. Doing things right, that's efficient, that's efficiency. Doing the right thing, that's effective, that's effectiveness. Both are important. You need both of them. I learned this from Gary Keller. His book, the one thing, incredible book, man. Like, that's out of all the books I've read. And when I read that one, I was like, man. And it wasn't to highlight myself what we're doing. It was just for that guy, what he's achieved, what he's done in his life. Everything I read there, it was literally on point with everything that we were doing on the inside with hpf, which was actually really reassuring for me. I was like, fucking have a look at this bloke. He's speaking the exact same fucking lingo, the exact same messages, the exact same points, the domino effect and building that sequential order of momentum and all this stuff he put in there. I was like, man, that is just. That is 100% or just about 100% what we're doing, you know, instead of. I think he might have had in there wig meetings. I think that might have been another book where there's a term called wildly important goal. We call it a myth. Most important thing, there's only ever one. Most important. There's importance, but most important, there's only one. So when I read this book, I was like, man, this is fucking ace. This guy's all over it. But it's actually really reassuring when I went through it, because that was one of the things he said. He said, there's doing the right thing and there's doing things right. He's like, they're different. You got to be aware of that. So constantly building yourself to realign, you can get alignment absolutely with your wife, with your children, your experiences with work relationships, like I said, your children, yourself, they all bring great fulfillment and significance. But none of this will be true. None of this will be realized if you don't stop and look up and see where you're going and who you're going with. Just another book that I'm reading right now, Limitless, by Jim Quick. There was a study they did on lab rats where they were teaching them things. Hit this trigger, this food will be released. Cue or trigger action. Reward typical habits. It's different words, the same fucking thing through any habit book you'll ever read. But when I looked at this, it was about their knowledge and their retention. Now, here's the thing. When they gave these rats downtime, that's when they remembered. That's when there was retention of knowledge, of actions, of habit, and it was repeatable when they gave them no downtime. Hey, women can have this one. Multitasking. You can take it, take it. It's yours. Because you and I both know if you've listened to enough episodes, it's sporadically jumping from one thing to the other, never going deep surface level. Multitasking is fucking ridiculous. Don't do that. Now, of course, there are things that you are multi expressing. Like, I'm moving my left hand Right now, as I'm talking and my eyes are open, like, don't. Don't fucking play around with pulling apart what multitasking is. The context of multitasking is engaging in tasks in deep work that is no longer deep because you're bouncing and doing multiple things. I can speak and look at the same time. It's not the same thing. Just to paint a picture on that. Because I thought about that the other day because I like to challenge myself heaps. I'm always trying to prove myself wrong. And I was like, it'd be multitask every day out. Like you're fucking walking and breathing, mate. That's multitask. I'm like, well, no, it's not like the context. It's context that's important. It's the point that's important. Like, you don't have to think to breathe. You just breathe. You don't have to think about your heart to beat. Your heart just beats. So there is autonomy in here. But essentially the point is this study on the rats is just the same as us as humans, creating space. The fact that I didn't work for five to six days. Fuck, I had breakthroughs. I wasn't even looking for them, man. I wasn't even looking for them. I spoke about that in the last episode with the rainbow gold at the end of the rainbow that Stella drew for me. So many things. Talking about front loading, your habits so you can backload and offload the rest of the month and have everything built in. Autonomy. Because you've built the right discipline and discipline long enough. Self control long enough. Bang. Now it's part of who you are. Look, all this stuff without me even trying was just flooding in. Why? Because I've had downtime, you know, the big breakthroughs don't come when I'm sitting here in hq. It comes from other areas. AKA creating space, getting out with nature, slowing down. Just submitting and letting go of anything, anything at the front of mind, any thought, and then it comes rushing in. It's incredible, man. Like, it really is. Same with these rats. Same with us. If you don't stop and create space, how can you A, even create alignment to start with? You've just done the same thing for fucking years. You don't even know where you're going. Or B, realign with some alignment. Oh, shit, man. This is actually what I want to achieve in 2022. This is why. These are my emotional drivers or anchor points. And here's my logical pathway. The hows will come if you have A big enough why you'll endure almost anyhow. I remember some old bloke saying that. I don't know who it is, so apologies to the man, but that was a reasonably good saying I remember listening to years ago. Les Brown might have quoted him, but I don't know who it was. But it's true. If you have a big enough why, you'll find the how. You will create the how. It's like this. I didn't wake up one day and go, you know, I just want to. I just want to coach fathers online. It was a progressive process of working with dads since I was 18 years of age. Being old school and working with older men. Just the environment I was in as well, and helping them. The first pathway was health and fitness and then bringing in some mindset and then the physical gyms and different online programs. But now a national online program like it. It's a process. Like I always say, none of this will be realized if you don't stop and smell the roses. Like, that's where shit like that comes from. Those old cliches. It's all there. Have some downtime, stop, be present, do nothing. Like permanent, like, permanently, maybe. Maybe you can't, because your calendar is very flexible, but you must at least periodically block out and have big white chunks in your calendar or your timetable, whatever it is, and do nothing. Like make your goal to be bored. I don't know about you, but I can't remember the last. Maybe you're in a job that's monotonous and you don't like what you do, but for me, fuck, man, I can't remember the last time I was bored. Like, it's been at least 10 years crazy. Because what happens, we fill. We fill the space. I've got nothing to do, man. If you're driving home for half an hour, put fucking nothing on. Or you could do this podcast. Maybe you don't need it right now. Maybe you need nothing. Maybe it's not music that's nostalgic and brings a different sense. Maybe it's not the radio, maybe it's not this podcast I do that. I used to do that when I had the gyms. I used to drive an hour north and an hour back every day. I can't tell you how many times. At least 90% of the time, I had nothing, nothing in the car, just pure silence. It was like. It was meditative, man, actually. Like, I don't miss the driving, but I miss that because what happened as soon as I sold the gym and didn't have to travel as much. Boom, boom, boom. Filled the space with some other shit. Not all shit obviously, but filled it, filled it again. So you need to purposefully have nothing in your calendar at times so you can do nothing. And if you're bored, great, sit with that. Why am I bored? Like, what's. Can't I just sit on my veranda? I took the dogs for a walk the other day. I couldn't believe the verandas. A lot of these second story homes. Beautiful sunset. It was like purple and violet and indigo and fucking lavender. Whatever colors. Like it was crazy. Bits of orange and pink and phenomenal, man, the clouds, insane. Like, what the fuck's going on here, man? Like it's, it's 7:45. Like, yeah, I get there's dinner and other things, but unless you got kids like mine and you're putting them to bed like my age, which in the area we live, there's a lot of elder people and families. You should be sitting out on that. Where the fuck would you get a balcony put on your house? What? So it puts the value up a few grand. Like you should be sitting there and watching this sunset. It was incredible. Like I'm always taking the dogs for a walk and incredible. Like realign with alignment. Point number four by taking time out, stopping and being present, which a lot of times we call creating space. Point number five, tribe is key. Look, nothing influences, I've said this before, nothing influences your internal environment more than your external environment. The reason why I we, everything we're doing with the tribe, with me personally, with my family, I can keep rising. I brush away the hits, I brush away the criticism. A lot of people who don't know who we are, who I am, and they just throw stones or call me a fuckwit or a fuckhead or say all sorts of other things, cracks me up, man. I feel for those guys. The reason why I can keep brushing that shit away and bigger environmental factors like what's happened this year and life itself trying to punch me in the face on the daily is because my immediate close knit environment is phenomenal and true. It's true, it's genuine. Both my family, bloodbound or not, the inner circle and the inner circle of hpf. It's why I'm unstoppable. Like I've got the people around me. I've got something to fight for, which is more than myself. When sometimes I don't feel energetic enough to fight for myself. It's for the tribe, it's for my Family. Maybe it's not fighting, maybe it's rising, maybe it's recovering, maybe it's rejuvenating, maybe it's communicating. It's just having that tribe, which is literally a reflection of who you are. That doesn't mean that the men on the inside all look, dress and act exactly the same. But we're certainly not people from all walks of life, from 3 year olds to 83 year olds, just looking to be motivated for. No, no, no, none of that. This is fucking men on the inside, being the greatest fathers they can be, and winning in family, self and service, running businesses or not, careers, going up the ladder, leveraging time and energy, leveraging money for more time and energy, building the freedom and lifestyle that they want. This is why the right tribe, the right people, the right environment, when you have the right environment where you're all living, breathing your truth and you're seeking a greater level of leadership, experiences, love, like respect, value for yourself and for them, and appreciation, like when you have that, you get a new lease on life where you look back, you're like, oh man, those people or that environment or that workplace or that. That was fucked up. I didn't realize how much that was crushing me. It was pulling me down. It's a larger energy source than yourself. Like that's. You see it in championship teams and sports. Why a championship team will always be the team of champions because they are a team, they're not individuals. But it brings out the best in you as an individual, which is incredible because it helps you see what you might not be able to see, including that glass ceiling which you can't see, but with your fist and a few other fists around you, you punch the fuck out of it and break through it and let the shards of glass and shit all fall around you and away from you. And then you keep rising. Point number six, time is temporary. Look, life is temporary. Like life is so temporary, man. As short as you think life is in the little pockets of perspective that you'll have, or the surreal sense of mortality around new life, around death, funerals, however short you think life is, when you get those little moments of like, wow, this is my mortality is real. As short as you think life is, when you have that cut that in, cut, that idea of the time you think you have, cut that in half and then cut it in half again, then you're starting to get closer. And I need this too, because none of us should be gluttons with our time, but we are. You know, it's crazy it's so fucking temporary, man. Here we are, 2022. Like I remember saying in some of my ads, in 2019, yeah, where will you be when it's 2021, 2022? I'm like, fuck, I'm here. We're here now. That's. That's insane. Of course, you can't be surprised. 365 days of the year, 24 hours a day. It's. It's methodical because it seems like such a large number, and we move through a lot of the time sedated and distracted or keeping busy. Fucking stand that word, man. I can't stand. You're keeping. It just goes. It goes. Please understand. This is why I don't fuck around. I laugh lots. I'm filled with lots of lighthearted outlooks and moments. I laugh every single day. There's shit I laugh at. And I used to laugh at when I was a bit younger, too. And the cool cats in the rugby league clubs, as part of. Or other things, they wouldn't laugh at it or they wouldn't think it was funny. I was like, is something wrong with me? Or is it like that old. I'm not going to say it's a Pommy thing, but, you know, I've seen that with some of my English mates where it's like, who can outdo each other, right? Who can tell the most craziest or worst or rudest or revolting joke and still keep a straight face. Because. Because that's your, you know, that. That's your, you know, that's your Persona. I'm gonna say all this sort of stuff and I'm gonna act like I'm not even faced. Well, everyone laughs, and everyone laughs at my blank facial expression. Like, I get that. That's. That's a. That's a bit of a, I don't know, facade to put on to show that you don't care or you're too cool. But look, I'll sometimes see dogs, and I know this sounds funny, but I'll be going for a walk and I'll see a dog. It'll be sitting on the fence, trying to hang a shit on the fence. I'm like, what the fuck? I look at this dog, like, all right, I'll be honest. That's my dog Marlow, our beagle. I'll take him for a walk and he backs up on a tree and he starts shitting on a tree. I'm like, what the fuck is this thing doing? Like, there's grass everywhere. You're trying to Shit on the vertical of the tree. Like, what are you doing, mate? You trying to shit on the bark? And then what? Get some sort of exfoliation on your ring hole and scrape your ass up and down the bark on the tree? Like, seriously, I know this sounds, maybe it doesn't sound funny to you, but I see this dog and I fucking crack up, man. This is the same dog. Like, Corinne is his possession. He was hers to start with. You know, her sister had pups, so she's been with him since day dot to the point where moved all the other pups off and put him on the tit so he got the biggest of his mum, which was my sister in law's beagles. And you know, so. But the way he knows I rule the house, he knows I'm the boss and obviously I feed him too, so they probably appreciate that. But we go down to the beach and he goes up to someone who's just sitting there in the sand like she's a tree that doesn't piss on a, on a handbag or purse or towel. Pisses all over this woman's back. I'm about 50 meters away with my dog at the time. Ruby is, she's little Jack Russell. Fuck. I lost my shit, man. And I just completely disowned him. I was like, I'm not going near him, man. The people are looking around like, who owns this dog? I'm like, I'm not going near him. Same thing with Corinne. We're down at the beach, this other dog comes to play. So he goes and stands right between her legs and sort of becomes a bit protective and defensive and. And then before Corinne even knew it, he his leg and he's pissing all over her. I'm like, man, he fucking owns you. You are his property. But this is the thing. Like, you might not think that's funny and that's, that's cool. I'm not here for us to talk about the different layers or levels of humor, but that shit's so fucking funny to me, man. When I see this dog taking a shit on the tree, like not, not at the base. He's, he's using his legs to half climb. Like he's nearly vertical. Like, what the fuck is this thing doing? Like, it's the funniest thing in the world. It really is. Like, it's one of the things I wrote that I'm grateful for with some vision work I did with, with, with Rick, who's a phenomenal coach. We're going to get him on. We Will get him on for a podcast. I think he's just an amazing man. My gratitude towards my pets and animals in general. And just looking at this thing like pissing on Corinne and shitting up trees and that's so funny. Like, point is, I laugh a lot. I've got a very lighthearted outlook. But life is temporary, man. I hate waste. I can't stand it. I refuse to waste time or have mine wasted. That doesn't mean if you do wrong by me, you're burnt, you're in some sort of black book. But I'll tell you what, man, I don't have time to befriend lots of people and just fucking walk on, you know, There are no eggshells in my life. That doesn't mean always speak my mind. Like, there's plenty of people that are close enough to me, you know, family or relatives. I'd love to say, hey, you know what you're doing here, it's pretty fucking bullshit. But that's a. I don't go actively looking for trouble. But when people come into my world or try and influence my world, and I know there's a lack of alignment, it's fear driven or it doesn't have leadership or courage, runs on the board, it hasn't been done. I can't connect with that. I can't waste time on that. Can you put it this way, and it's not to be blunt, but unless you've got something I want. Unless you've done something I want to do. Sorry. Unless you've got something that I want to achieve or I've done something I want to do or you're aligned with where our bigger vision and message is. I'm sorry, I can't just. It's not fair to you, it's not fair to me. It doesn't mean I don't exchange in pleasantries and say hellos and say g' day to strangers and have chit chat when I'm walking the dogs and like, of course, I am a generous and genuine man, but I'm not wasteful with my time. But also those points are important. Like, it's why I'll listen to the feedback I get from you guys listening to this. I'll listen to the feedback from our members. I may have what they want, but they are connected and aligned with something that's important for me. It's why I do questionnaires. I literally, I wouldn't say pull the pants down is the right term, but I'm very transparent and vulnerable. I say hey, here are some questions. What can we do better? We want to evolve and become even better again. We want no one to come fucking close to what we do. In serving fathers. We can't do that if we actually serve the fathers in every capacity, you got to be the same man. You can't. You can't waste your time. You think money's an asset, right? Money is simply a tool and a byproduct of a level of perceived value that you've brought to the table with what? Your own time? Energy? Of course. Money is a byproduct of your time and energy. Two finite resources. This is what you've done. This is what we do. Like, we provide a level of value that we are compensated for on the inside, so we can bring you better experiences and bring you better time and energy in the future and in the now. Like, it's. It's. It's a phenomenal thing to have when you leverage and value time. This is the crazy part. People will cherish material goods, products, other things external, outside themselves, yet they just forfeit their time willingly and recklessly. It's like you care about your fucking speedboat or you care about your caravan or about your nice car or about the kids breaking, you know, breaking some of your nice artwork off your fucking coffee table, yet you're just going glutton. Like a glutton, but not with food, with time. Go and give it away nilly, willy, willy, nilly, freely. Like, literally forfeiting it. Here, here. Take some time. Let me talk about some drama, some bullshit. Let me gas bag or gossip or bitch or moan. Let me listen to you do that on an extended period of time. Like, if someone does that for me, I'm like, yeah, man, look, I'm not your punching bag. And I don't say that to them, but I definitely steer the conversation by asking quality questions. After I listen, I don't let someone vent and dump on me for 45 minutes. That's same with Corinne. Same with my wife. Anyway, like, well, hang on, hang on. I can feel this is not going in a wholesome direction. Let's. Let's. Let's recalibrate. Point number six, time is temporary. You should really value that because time is life. Life is time. Life is temporary. We're nearly there.7.8.7. Invest in certainty and control, and maybe I'll do a podcast episode on this. Like, I pay my coach 200 grand a year. You guys be like, what the fuck? How the fuck do you even justify that? Like, that doesn't even make. It's crazy. Like, invest in certainty and control. I will happily do that, man. I am continuously investing in myself to have more certainty and more control. But here's the kicker. You're investing, I'm investing. We are always investing. Like an investment is. I mean, I haven't got the dictionary definition, but happily find it and we can talk about. But you know what that is? Investment. Investment. It's. It's giving something. So yes, it could be money, but again, money is a collective of time and energy. So you're giving time and energy. Like there's always a cost. Even when guys like, what's. What's the cost? I'm like, well, mate, fucking join our free group. Just jump in there. Where? But what's, what's the catch? It's like, well, it costs you time and energy because when you're in the free group, you're going to fucking listen to some words, you're going to read some posts, and you're hopefully going to shift some perspectives and turn that shit around. Like, there's always a cost. Time and energy. Like, even if it's monetarily free, there's always a cost. You're always investing. Here's the thing though. You're either investing in a future with more control, certainty and opportunity to live life on your terms, or you're not. You're relinquishing control and giving up opportunity to then have life hand you whatever it is that you need to accept because you don't have control anymore. Like I said, whether it's time, money, energy, people, places or things, make a choice and own that choice. That you're either going to invest in a greater life with all things included, or you're not. Don't think you can juggle both and get away with it, man. That's where you get burnt. That's where you get fucked up. That's my last episode. That's door number three. Door number one, do nothing. Door number two, go it alone. Door number three, try bits and pieces. Door number four, go all in. We are door number four. But door number three, yeah, I'll pay a little bit here, I'll pay a little bit there. I'll try that on my own. I'll download that free template, that guide. You know, you're always investing. What's the level of investment that you're applying to yourself? Again, this isn't necessarily money. Money is a great tool psychologically for you to go, hey, I've got some fucking skin in the game. I've got some hurt money here. I will follow through it. As crazy as it is, and not that I agree with it, I think a lot of it's bullshit. This is the world we're on, so let's leverage it. Let's leverage it to your advantage, my advantage, our advantage as a tool of value from time and energy. Yes. Here's a commitment. Here's a commitment. Here's a commitment. There's money, there's time. There's effort. There's habits. There's routines like this training. There's getting some sweat up. There's this food. There's diving into the group. There's time there. There's writing down. There's the Amazing Eight. You're thinking it, you're feeling it, you're writing it, you're reading it, you're speaking it, you're believing it, you're acting it, you're reinforcing it. Like, you're always investing, man. The question is, what level of investment, what type of investment are you doing? Because if you try and juggle both a little bit here, a little bit there, you will lose. Why? Because time is temporary. Point number six, can you see how these are building as we go into our last point and wrap this up? Can you see how these build? Doesn't mean they have to be in order, but pay attention to attention. That's the building blocks on what you focus on, which becomes your reality, perceived, fantasy, real. All of the above leaders lead. It's nothing like what you think it is. Turn up and do something for an applause, for a pat on the back. Do it in front of people so they thank you. No, leadership's fucking heavy. It's hard, it's gritty, it's dirty. At times, it's muddy, messy. You slip over, you fall. But it's leading. It's action. Doing what you said you would do. You got to be agile. Agility and adaptation wins. You must be able to pivot, adjust, overcome, improvise. All of them. It's not a fake. Until you make it, you got to keep stretching, man. You got to try different pathways. If the one you're on isn't working, if the one you're on is working, cool. How can I just make it a little bit better? 1%, 2%. Our program is phenomenal. But I'm like, I can't sit here and have the same program for the next 20 years. It just doesn't feel right to me. I lose the edge. Not even against competitors. They're not even close to us. I lose that competitive drive in myself, it's always going to be me versus me. My business, our movement, that's just a reflection of it. So if I go backwards next year, I lose. I have lost against myself. And that's one thing I've got to say, like, I'm really proud of ever since this Covid thing. Ever since I really went all in at the start of 2019 and the gym started failing and up like 30 grand in debt in no time. Well, I had 230 grand worth of debt. It was fucking crazy, man. Look, I've got some good stories, but we'll say then for another day, yeah, just stopped paying my gym rent. Everything was going under. And I was like this, man, I'm going all in on my coach, who's still my coach today. I'm paying him all the money. I'm doing everything. I'm learning how to do this properly and make this a phenomenal movement. And I have not taken a back footstep since, even with all the COVID stuff, not once. All of my expenses have gone up. Everything through the. You have no idea, man. Through the roof. The advertising you just see on Facebook and everything, like, you know that. That in itself is 50 grand a month. Month on Facebook advertising. That's how important this message is. The reach is. No one's fucking doing that. You told me who's fucking paying 1500 bucks a day on ads? So this is the thing. And again, I'm not saying that to highlight that I'm the man or sit on some sort of pedestal. It's I can't lose. And you lose when you keep taking steps back. Don't take a step back. Be agile. Adapt. Build your team. Improvise, overcome. Realign. Point four with alignment. Have the right people around you. Tribe is key. Number five. Like, you must be willing to continually stretch to grow. There have been some huge chasms I've had to jump over the big leap. The big leap has hit me many times since COVID hit, man. I have not fucking stopped. Everything has gone up and improved. Everything. I refuse to let something else tell me I can't fucking do it right now. Time is temporary. That's why, you know, I remember having Shannon on who's a phenomenal man, and he said 95% of. I mean, this is just a point of perspective. He said 95% of millionaires happen between 45 and 55. So that's a cool point. I never knew that. But my point is everything I'm developing and building is done in Correlation with my family, with the experience. Like, I don't want to lose my family and just make millions of dollars. I want to build this legacy properly. I want to live my life. I want to enjoy what I do, enjoy my life. Time is so temporary. Like with the skill sets I've developed and learned to learn, man, even if I didn't have hpf, I could do a fuckload and make a shitload of money in my 50s easily, man. It's just a part of who I am. I'm not a fucking yes man. I'm incredibly ambitious. I don't stop until I win. I do whatever it takes. Like this is stuff that I guess to a business or company would be incredibly attractive. But that's why, I don't know, maybe I'm not with a business or company company because I'm doing it, we're doing it. We are doing something with bigger and more purpose. It's not, hey, I want to make a billion dollar company. It's like, hey, man, this is the message. Taking away from women, mothers, mothers, programs, children's programs. One of my good mates and I consider him a mentor, Carl Jennings. He runs super six where he trains teenagers. He has a physical gym as well. Does some online stuff and just phenomenal mindsets for these kids. It's awesome. Like, what an amazing stepping stone for these kids to have zooms and do mindset pieces. Carl, I'm not sure of his age but as he's getting older, he's just got this real air of wisdom that he's a phenomenal gift to children. I'm not taking away from all these other places. What I'm saying is our message, the message, fathers going to the source, influencing leadership of the household. It's going to have the biggest ripple effect. It already does for those involved, but it's going to have the biggest ripple effect in our society and I'm blessed to be part of it as a caretaker per se. I don't look at this as it's just me. Tribe is key. Time is temporary. Invest in certainty and control. And last point, because you need to, you're going to invest one way or the other, whether it's with money or not. You're investing time and energy. What are you investing it in? Get better or worse. Final one. Go all in. Like expanding on that point, investing in certain control. Whilst there's a lot of grain life, most things are binary. Yes or no. You're either all in or you're not being stuck in perceived security of. Yeah, try a bit here. I won't. It becomes limbo land, man. Which means you're not. You're just doing the same thing. So you are getting worse over time because you're wasting more time with the same shit. You're either getting better or worse across life for the stage you're at. We're all at different stages. But dipping your toe in the water or even diving head first, they're both foolish. That's not considered all in. I'm just diving head first. Some of my stories, whilst there were some incredible financial strains and leaps, I didn't dive head first in. The real definition of all in, it covers working smarter and harder. You need both, not just one or the other. Taking risks and mitigating them, doing things alone and developing a team around me and around you. In your experience and circumstance, holding onto core values and expanding myself to changing and evolving. There is no alternative, to be fair. Ironically enough, everyone goes all in on life. Like, when I look at this, you do. Like everyone goes all in on life. It's just that most people go all in on not going all in. Like I said, there's a lot of irony in some of the things that we go through. And life itself is ironic. It really is. But going all in or not going all in, it leads to regret, pain, shame, blame. It's not a happy ending, man. These are the eight reasons. Obviously they expand bigger, but this will do. I hope this has served you well. These are the eight reasons why the last couple of years, to be fair, have been very successful for me in all areas. Family, self and service. Pay attention to attention. Leaders lead agility and adaptation wins. Realign with alignment. Tribe is key. Time is temporary. Invest in certainty and control. Go all in. And final thoughts. You know, our final thoughts. My final thoughts. The biggest transformation in my life this year. The biggest change in my life. The biggest change this year, apart from our high performance father journal. Like that journal has been ace, man. Like that has been. I started that in February before anyone else had access to it, of course, even our members and coaches. I can't believe how dialed in that got me on those eight points above and how focused. That's crazy. But apart from that, which is probably connected to anyway, the biggest change has been this universal law. I'm sure it exists, in other words, but we've brought it into HPF as the yes, no principle. That that's been the biggest change in my life. Because when you say yes to something or someone, you're inadvertently, subconsciously, directly, indirectly, all of the above, you're saying no to something or someone else. When you say yes to something or someone, you're saying no to something or someone else. Again, this isn't always deep or heavy handed. Like I'm saying. Technically, I'm saying no to my children right now so I can say yes to you, to myself, to this podcast. That's fine, that's great. It's binary yes or no, but it's a collective of millions of yeses and no's that you'll experience in your life, probably tens of millions. The issue, the hard part or the lack, the problem is the lack of awareness to this rule is where most failures and breakdowns come from. When you say yes to your phone, whilst you're in a conversation with your wife, you're saying no to connecting with her. When you say yes, when your wife's talking to you and you're on your phone looking at the fucking screen, you're saying yes to your phone and that environment, you're saying no to her. When you keep saying yes to 14 hour days, you're saying no to your children. But I work out, what can I do about what? Let me fucking paint the picture for you, mate. What are you doing to be more resourceful, to adjust your circumstances, to uplevel yourself, to develop systems and processes, to bring someone in, to bring a better team member in or team player to look and go, fuck, I'm doing four hours a day of admin. Outsource that, cut a little cream away, play the longer game and give that money to someone else. Feed someone else and their family to give you time back. When you say yes to 14 hour days, chronically you're saying no to your children. When you say yes to Netflix, you say no to personal development, creating space to realign other experiences for yourself or loved ones that might be more fulfilling. I probably watch like an hour a month of television. You might think that's extreme. Here's an extreme for you. There'd be no fucking TV in the house if I had my say. But I'm willing to compromise and adapt a little bit for my wife and for my children. But that's the truth, because it's probably a little bit more. But you know four or five or six movies a year. So when I look at that, that's 15 hours I'll never get back. And maybe you don't want to have to think, maybe you just want to zonk out getting zombie. I get all that. Do some fucking painting, drink some, hit the sack. Nighttime tea, have Some night rider go to bed early. There's always something else you can do to not think. Lego is pretty cool. Lego's good. Yes, there's folks involved, but that interestingly enough, for men, A to B, focus and freedom to create space. When you say yes to drugs and alcohol, you say no to a cleaner and healthier life with more clarity and focus to prime your actions and experiences. When you say yes to bad environments that manipulate and bring out the worst in you. You say no to finding the right environment to bring out the best in you. When you say yes to lies, those subtle excuses, sorry excuses for excusing yourself of responsibility, most carve out on the daily. You say no to the real truth. When you say, and that's a bit of a. It's like saying the big elephant, right? It's what I call it. Is it onomatopoeia? That's some shit. I wasn't great in school, you know, the big elephant, the fast race car, the real truth. You know what I'm talking about? The reason why I had to put that in there is because we carve out truth from fantasy. In past or future. That's not the real truth. The real truth. The truth always wins. When you say yes to fantasy living in the past or future, you say no to the now and reality. When you say yes to feelings alone, you say no to certain facts that are more important. But when you say yes to the facts alone, you might be saying no to the emotional drivers that can create better facts in your life. When you say no to others who don't have your best interests at heart, you say yes to yourself. When you say no to drugs and alcohol and TV on the lounge, you say yes to your wife. When you say no to the big piss up you're invited to, you say yes to your children and playing at the park. When you say no to destroying your health with bad habits, you say yes to more energy and vitality. When you say no to ego and temptation, you say yes to your mission and purpose. When you say no to the distractions life is riddled with, you say yes to your most important thing. There's always a choice, man. Always. Again, take the naysayer away inside of you who might not like what I've just said then, or might not like the hows that you quickly construct to navigate away from the things you're not happy about. But there is always a choice. Shannon, the guy I mentioned earlier, living the dream, had everything there. He's at a house on McMaster's beach and just a fucking gun at what he does and had a facility, everything. Sold all that up. Complete unknown. Not uncertainty because he took action, but complete unknowns. Traveled around Australia for four years with his family in a caravan and just way out of his comfort zone, did all this stuff. People like, oh, you're lucky you're living life, blah, blah. And he's like, the fuck you talking about, mate? Like, I wish I could do that. He's like, well, you can I, Nana, I've got a mortgage. He's like, yeah, so did I. We sold everything. Sold it all up, did it all. People, time to things. I can't. I need to keep this car. I need to keep this job. Or, you know, we've got a house, fucking sell it, you know, like, there's always a choice. Always. Any problem with those above points, the yeses and nos? It's a gift for you, man. If you have a problem with that, pull it apart and ask yourself why you're cooking up the bullshit story and excuses to justify your position instead of asking to the core of yourself, is my life getting better or worse? Am I growing or decaying? Am I a leader or a leech? Am I adding value to the world, loved ones and my own life, or wasting the gift? Do I have more potential than I'm currently using? I bought that caravan off Shannon literally a few days ago. That's mine. Now my family and I are going to be traveling around and I'm going to becoming even more centered in this message, in what I do, in creating space, in immersing in the right environments. Nature's obviously a phenomenal one for all of us, whether you love the city or not. I look at this, I'm like, man, I've got an amazing team around me. Yes. I might not fucking make as much money because I'm putting more into this movement and growing and into you and into the men and into the tribe and into the coaches and the services. I don't give a fuck, man. Like, it will come good. And when I say come good, it's already great. It will come to a point where all those rewards will just be a byproduct. Whether I'm 45, 55, it doesn't matter. This is my life. It's what I want to do. Guess what? One day, my children won't want to caravan with me or won't be able to caravan with me. They might be too big to caravan with us. We've got the triple bunks. They're at a stage and Age. Now I'm like, fuck, man. I just want to. I want to be with them and around them, but I don't want to spend 24 hours a day with my children. You know that. Like, think about it. You go away and it's like, yeah, okay. All right. Not that I'm saying I'm ready to go back to work, but I spent the last five, six days, my kids. I loved it. But it's why that foundational principle, the circles of significance, is so important for you, man, because they're different types. Family, self, and service. There's a certain level of significance when I'm looking at my body right now, and I've got big fucking biceps. I've got a big chest. I'm strong, massive gas tank. Like, I can perform. I can go out and hunt and fucking kill and get after life. It's a feeling I have inside that my children can't give me. You can't give me. No one can. I'm like, I'm a fucking weapon, man. I was this fat piece of shit when I was a kid going through. I know I'm painting a picture. I'm not saying that about myself now, but these are the words I used. I was crushing myself with my words, breathing life or death. I was breathing death into myself through the words and thoughts and feelings. I had to turn it around, being the lead athlete in two sports internationally, and I'm very proud of that. No one else can give me that. Just like there's a certain level of significance in going to Ayers Rock, that's a goal of ours with my children and them seeing that and experiencing that and being there with my family, teaching them how to fish, spending time together, whether it's caravaning or anything, it doesn't matter. Pick your vessel. Find your fuel for that circle. Completely different. Like, there's a fulfillment there. Looking into my children's eyes and my son Roman, and going, man, you know, because he is me. But looking at my daughters as well, which is just amazing. They have me, but a little bit different, but it's. I can't get that from lifting weights. No way. Just like you right here and now. I may never, ever hear from you. But the fact that I'm doing this podcast right here and now, there's a level of significance and fulfillment that training in a gym and my family will never give me. Man to man, stranger to stranger. Although I'd like to think that I'm not a stranger to you. If you've listened to enough episodes, we would Catch up one day and have a good chat. Especially if I'm traveling around the country. But I'll need to get the van stickered up. But this is true, man. There's a level of significance in serving and helping fathers all over the country. Like, you want to go international? Like, maybe who gives a fuck about international Australia? Like, this is us. This is our home. Like, there's. There's plenty. There's plenty of work to be done here. There's plenty of men in our home country that I love to serve. Doesn't mean we can't or won't, but this is a fulfillment. I get. Significance that I get. We get with our high performance father program with this podcast with all the freebies, all the giveaways, all the mindsets, the YouTube chat with everything we do with the events. I will never get that from my children or from lifting weights in a gym. There's always a choice and there's always an opportunity to explore and expand in those three areas of your life and to win in those three areas of your life. If you're chronically giving one up to triple down and win in the other. Chronically is the key term here. You will lose. Is it swings and roundabouts? Of course. My family's catching up with family today. Here I am working. I'm willing to own that. I'll spend time with my children tonight. Had an amazing day with them yesterday. This is my choice. Is it a zigzag? It's probably not a pendulum. It's definitely not a flat line of balance. It's why I like the juggling visual. I'm juggling these three balls. I wouldn't say I've dropped and neglected, but I'm juggling the ball of self. I'm going to train today, get some vitamin D out in the sun, have an amazing afternoon. But also I'm juggling those balls of self and service right here and now that ball of family has 500 fucking rubber bands wrapped around it. Because I've put so much into it. And not just time quality. I can let that. That's going to bounce four or five times way above my head. And I'm juggling self and service. Self and service. I'm juggling self is big now. I've looked after my health, my nutrition, my training, my mind. I'm going to drop that. I've got one ball, ball of service and I'm juggling that with two hands. So it's a piece of piss. I'm fucking dominating. This is easy. But Guess what? The massive amounts of rubber bands that are bound around the ball of self and the ball of family allows me to let them go. And they can keep bouncing and they'll bounce and bounce and bounce, but eventually it's bouncing on concrete. It is. So it can rebound, sure, but it's a porous, scratchy surface. So bit by bit, if I keep doing this, well, maybe by June next year all those rubber bands will fall off and next thing I've got a rock. Shit. All right, well, this is harder to pick up and move. I can't drop that. Drop it a few times, the rock cracks open and inside is glass and I'm left with a glass ball. Fuck, I can't drop that. If I drop this ball, it's fucked, it's shattered. I can't put it back together. This is what I mean. Like, that's such a. I wish I had the. You know, I need a digital media man or someone to put that together in a cool little five minute video. Because I hope that's painted a picture for you, man. That's why it's called neglect and that's why I use the word chronic. You can't just push them aside to make heaps of money. You can't just, you know, if you are the breadwinner, just do that, but do it half hearted or lacklustered or part time, but you are the breadwinner or there's more financial pressures, you know, it's hard, there's lots of dynamics, but you can't just do that. So you can spend 10 hours a day with the family. Like that becomes an escape. Just. Same with your health and your body. You can't just fall in a heap and have fuck all health, physically and mentally, and be very unhealthy internally, which has a lot of risks on your time here, how long you have here and the quality here. You can't just do that, man. If your family's losing, your work's losing and everyone loses around you, but you throw your hands up in the air and you're going, oh, no. Well, the family's important. I'm just going to do it for that. Well, no, you can't neglect yourself. You can't neglect any one of these for too long. Just like I said about the juggling act, rubber, rock, glass done. Which is why it's important to understand that there's always a choice, there's always yes and nos. But what are you building with the yes and nos? And which door are you walking through? Are you going all in, man. What an episode. I've got goosebumps all over the left side of my body. I can't believe the year has come to an end. I can, but I can't. We rattle off words that are just part of our conditioning that we've said time and time again. It's incredible, isn't it? They are my final thoughts, the yes and no. I hope that coupled with those eight points really helps you design and develop what is it you desire and need moving forward. If that includes us, fantastic, man, like, reach out and let us serve and help you as best as we can. That doesn't mean jump on a call and we're going to sell you into our program. We don't work that way. But don't. I mean, for fuck's sake, man, don't leave it till podcast episode series seven, series eight, and it's 2025 and you're listening to me say around about the same words and the same things. Wrapping up another year when there's been irreversible challenge, change and trauma inside of your life that you can't get back because you don't control everything. You can't overpower everything. You don't control the things you think you do. Whether it's your kids entering teenage years and getting hormonal, whether it's your wife who no longer believes you because of all the lies and things you said you would do but didn't. This is the time here and now. So well done and good on you for listening to this and giving yourself the time and the 75 odd minutes to listen to this episode. This will change your life if you apply it. And if you apply it, your life will be changed forever. I promise you that. So on that note, Happy New Year. I'm not big for diving into all the things that society tells us we should say and do. Not that I won't say Merry Christmas, but Merry New Year. Happy Christmas. How's that? On that note, I really hope, because hope is important. Michael Jordan said that it all started with hope. And have a look at where his life certainly went. I don't really follow him too much now, but I mean, shit, man, he was a freak of nature, that bloke. But I do genuinely hope that something inside you flicks. There's a switch, there's like, okay, I've got the. I've got. I've got a little bit of kindling, you know, I've got my matches out. Maybe I've got one match left. I've got a Fucking spark it up. This has to work. Maybe that's, maybe that's this episode. I hope that's been the case for you. I hope you've ignited that fight. It's still in there. It might be smoldering, it might feel like it's dead. That's okay. Get rid of some of those big fucking charcoal black logs that you've thrown on there because you shouldn't have. You weren't at the stage then, but you just dumped that on there. Remove them, get a bit of kindling, gets, get some leaves, get some, get some dry wood, get us started again, throw some little loose lucifers under there, do whatever you need to get it started. And hopefully this episode is that for you to really kick off 2022 in the right direction, man. And even if you're listening to this, because this will hold value in February, in March, in August. Fuck, I got four months left to 2022, mate. I'm going to do this now so that I don't Repeat this in 2023. Maybe. I mean, this episode is essentially timeless, but I hope this has given you the ability to look inside yourself, Apply those eight points, look at the final thoughts of the yes and no principle and say yes to yourself. So you can say no to the little voice inside, the bullshit, the triggers, the low level acceptance, the mediocrity. All the things that you believe you are entitled to when you're not. You're not entitled to them, you don't deserve them, they're not yours to own. Fuck them off, man, and create that titan, not just the king of the castle, but the king building his kingdom again, from which everything else around you that you're touched by or connected to or invested in will flourish and blossom as well. As we move into another year, another year of life with the right focus, the right mindset and the mentality. This is why the lion's the king of the jungle. The elephant's way bigger and I love elephants, but the lion's the king because of his mentality. It's time for you to build, find, create, build that mentality and go out fucking hunt life, man, and win 1,000 minutes a day. It's a lot. But when you're wasted on shit that doesn't serve you or move yourself or your family forward, you are bleeding the most valuable resource that you and I never get back. How much time do you think you have and how much quality do you think you've had? Don't be a fool like the masses, thinking you'll will cheat the system or get round to it one day or worse. Just accepting life and sinking back into a slumber of regret. This is your moment. Your time. You're cut from a different cloth. You have the hunger and desire to be more and live more. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. So stand up. Find the golden nuggets. In this episode you just listened to and align immediate action with them. Them and where you want to go. You are worthy. This is your life. You are the king. And this is your kingdom. Now go and claim it by showing, not telling. And be the real leader. You and I both know you were born to be.
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