171. 100%

This episode is brought to you by our high performance father coaching program where we help men juggle business, marriage and fatherhood to create the greatest balance and impact life has to offer. This is done with our philosophy that is at the core of achieving these phenomenal results in family, self and service and that is investing in yourself first so you can be a true 100% for yourself, but just as importantly for those around you that you love and care about. If you're a father struggling with choosing between your work, work and your family, lacking balance and connection in your relationship, what your children need, your own needs whilst building prosperity in your business, head over to highperformancefather.com fill out the form and I'll have my coaches contact you to see how we can help you and if you're a good fit, what it looks like to join the winner's circle on the inside. But for now, take the time to yourself for yourself and enjoy this episode. 100%. 1 00, 100%. I want you to take a moment. Whether you're walking, working, driving, sitting down somewhere, out with nature, in your house, in a concrete jungle, sit back and just think about that for one minute. 100%. What does that look like for you? What does that even mean? What does 100% mean to you? What do you think it means? Do you think you're giving 100%? Do you feel like you're giving 100%? In a world full of chaos and order, full of love and hate, full of frustration, feeling suffocated, drawn down, the mouse in the spinning wheel, things getting heavy, eyes getting heavy, bags under the eyes, feeling withdrawn, tired, lethargic, feeling amazing. On top of the world, firing on all cylinders. Everything's lined up today. Today's the day in the crazy, the craziness of life. We think we take responsibility over certain things and we don't. We think we're disciplined and we're not. We think we don't have any discipline and you do. You've just forgotten. We think we're sacrificing, but we're not. We think we're not, but we are sacrificing. When you're doing fuck all, you are sacrificing the greatness of the life that you and your children can have. We have all these thoughts and feelings and beliefs and our brain, our mind works against us half the bloody time. Call it the little voice inside, call it whatever you like, whatever you will it to be. We're in this constant to and fro where we are challenged and challenging. We're being challenged to rise up through being seduced, to fall down, call it someone else, someone you know, love or care about. People, places and things. It's always you. It starts and ends with you, man. But the passage of time between the start and the end is the most important. To sit back and not just embrace what comes to you or even what you do, but ask the question, am I giving 100%? Am I all in on life? What does that look like? What does all in look like for me? What does 100% look like for the slightly better version of me? The version that's just out there in the future a little bit further ahead of me, But I can be him now. Not 100% when you're 15 years of age, not 100% when you're 31 years of age. Like, what does that actually look like for you now with more burdens, more responsibility, more skin in the game, more opportunity, more legacy to leave, more legacy to live. What does that look like for you to be a true and real 100%? As we start to crack on into the year, which is going to pass very quickly like all years, think about this as a mathematical formula. If you're 45, listening to this on your 46th birthday, looking at the numbers going from 45 to 46 is at best. Trying to be quick with my maths here. 1.10%. 1.10, 1.1. Yeah, it'd be 1.1% of your life. Because if we double 45, there's 90. Let's go for that. If we're looking at percentages out of 100. So when we're looking at this, maybe it's 2%. Even if it's 3%, even if it's 5%, who cares? Here's the thing. When your child goes from four to five, that one year of four to five divisible by 100 is 20% of their life. That's why time is slow. That's why life gets faster. As you get older, you hear that saying, just gets. Every year gets faster out, no matter what's happening, just gets quicker and quicker. Of course it does. When your child goes from one to two, that passage of time between one and two is 50% of their life, their life lived. So when you're going from 50 to 51, you're looking at such a small percentage. Well, that would be 2%, I guess. It's nothing. It's not 20%, it's not 40%, not 50%, not even 11%. This year will go quick. Like this time next week, halfway through January. Think about that. The end of next week, bang, half of the month's gone. Like, that's fucking crazy, man. What are you doing with that? Like, the hundred percent might change. Yes, you do your best on that day, given the best that you can do on that day is your greatest effort, given the circumstances like that. That's. Of course, that's a standard like that. That is it. Because when my kids don't sleep and it's a nightmare, I'm still giving 100%, but it might be a bit less. I look at my sleep score, I'm like, shit, man, I'm in the 60s. That's not good. I need to get back up in the 80s. All right? I'm going to push as hard as I can today without burning out. It's such a juggle, it's such a balancing act. Life with time and energy, these two finite resources, using them accordingly, appropriately so you don't burn out future time and energy, but using them to the fullest extent that you can so you're not wasting future time and energy. What does 100% look like for you? We're going to go through a few things here. Look, this. This may come across as a bit of a motivational piece, but essentially we need to workshop this as well and apply action to this scope and this perspective that can serve all of you, any of you, one of you, to moving in the right direction. And the right direction being something that hinges on you actually deciding what it is that you want. Because it's hard. It's hard work. You think resilience and persistence and working hard is just continually breathing oxygen and getting up, no matter how shit you feel. Yeah, that might be the case. But fuck, mate, where are you actually going? What path are you on? What's the damage that you're causing? Like, are you just a big. What do you call it? A big tunnel borer? You're just boring through them and creating a massive tunnel with shit everywhere. There's no frameworks being put up. You don't even. There's no sites on where you actually go, I'm just fucking going out, just creating a shitload in the trail behind me and just. Just going, mate, is that equaling the outcome that you desire when you look back? Five minutes, five days, five weeks, five months, five years, 15 years. The hardest part with all of us is as we start to dive deep and sometimes we feel like we're diving into the abyss of life. We Realize that there's such a high and large level of darkness, suffering, pain that is there. And yes, we can put up with it. We can survive, sometimes we thrive. We stand up, we fight, sometimes we fly away. When we're looking at the sympathetic nervous system, flight or fight, we're in a position where we keep turning up, but then it's one little thing and then all of a sudden it's like, oh, fuck. And everything falls down. But like I always say, you can't have light without dark. And it's within the darkness that you actually find the light, the answer, the true you, the real you. What's possible, what the possibilities are. Yeah, I look back at the last couple of years and it's been really hard, man, for everyone, myself included. But what, what they have represented the last couple of years, the external environment, people, places and things, anything and everything happening, as anything and everything keeps happening in life, in generations that have passed, generations to come, is the curtain gets pulled back to show what kind of stuff people are really made out of and what they're going to do about their circumstances. Which means for a lot of us, especially with life being a default of decay, of loss, death, unless there's action, you will die unless you act. Breathing, eating, heart pumping, all of it. When we look at this, we recognize that there is the little voice inside, there is the self sabotage. There is this little thorn in your side wedge right in there. That little fucker just won't come out. It's like, okay, I'm going to retrain my mind, retrain my brain. My brain wants to beat me, I'm going to fucking beat my brain. Call it your brain, call it your mind. You as a being, as a human being, as a living organism, you have the ability, it's called consciousness. Have some awareness about that, you can zoom out. That's awareness. You can zoom out in third person. Look at your life, look at your body, look at your mind and ask some questions. The fuck's going on here? What is it that I choose to be? What am I choosing to be right now? Through not choosing, not actively controlling my life. I'm not out in the field playing like mate. You are captain, coach, mvp. You should be on that field, on that soccer field, fucking shooting, passing, leveraging your team, moving the ball around, shooting to score, not just kicking the ball to pass some time. And not just sitting on the sideline with a couple of water bottles in your hand, waiting to run on sporadically here and there. This is your life. You want to be the Greatest father you can be to your children. They're connected to your life. Your children are a representation. Not wholly, not 100%, but the 100% you can contribute. Don't look at it as your 50% or 40 or 30 or 70, regardless of your circumstances. If you look at the man and woman, you're both 100, that's 200%. But we both know as children get older, they grow up, there's different environments, there's different things. What I'm saying is the 100% of who you are to your children, who you are to yourself, who they are to you, is all. Is all coming under the banner of what? Your life, Your eyes, your heart, your feelings, your consciousness, your thoughts, your actions, your experiences. This is your world, man. Like, how can you not go 100%? How can you not go all in? I just. I don't get that. Life is so temporary and we have so much control and power at our fingertips, ready to wield and yield and utilize to improve our circumstances. To live a glorious life that has its moments of pain, of hardship, of sacrifice, of trauma. They all do. But when you look over the years, you're like, yes, it was glorious. Why? Because I kept fucking turning up and improving and adding some. I kept coming to the party. Why? Because I'm the host. I didn't go sit up in a fucking room upstairs on my own and just have a belly full of piss and pass out. It's my time, my book, my party, my soccer ball, my baseball bat, my field, my game. Because it is. You've drawn me into your life for a reason, and the reason is this. To help you identify and remember that this is your fucking world, man. Don't let your brain beat you. You are the owner of that. You don't even know where your brain is. Think about this. I was talking to one of our members the other day. You look in the mirror and through the perception, through the sensory perception of your eyes, you think you can just point in the mirror and locate and go, that's where my brain is. Well, how do you know that? This is the irony. This is the contradicting thoughts and movements behind it. It's actually a book that I'm reading called the world in your head. Your brain, or whatever it is you want to call it, is channeling the sensory perceptions of your eyes and how you're seeing things. To look at the mirror and go, yes, that is where the brain is. It's like, well, how do you know that that's where it is? That's just what your eyes are telling you where it is. Just like when I look at this, I got this HPF water bottle here. I'm like, is this actually in my hands or is this 60cm away? Because my brain's told my fucking eyes that that's a bottle there. It's black, it's got green logos and labeling and what, stainless steel. And there it is. And I can touch it and feel it. Like it's imagery. It's a representation of inside your head. So when you're looking at your head in the mirror, you think your brain's there. How the fuck would you even know? This is the mystery of life, man. When we're looking at our consciousness, our mind, how things work. Your brain, what is that? Where is that stemming from? Is that someone else puppeteering and pulling little strings? An old relationship? Something you watched on tv? Something or someone that's telling you that this is how the world works. It's telling you that this is how you should behave. That's telling you that this is what you need to do. It's telling you that this is your limit. This is all you can do. This is your potential. That's it. You're done. You can't do anything else. You're just another strolling through life. Mediocrity is king for you and that's it. I'm not here to tell you who you should be and what to do. What I'm here to do is show insights and hopefully help inspire you to some freedom of thought. You do have that. Don't forget that. Like, don't use your free will to forfeit your free will in any circumstance or area. Use some thought, use some feelings, and use them to ask quality questions, to pull away and start to dissect some of the bullshit you've put into your life that has you operating at 53%, 72%, 41%. Because I'm here to show you that there are possibilities that can be yours. There are possibilities you can turn into probabilities. But this is tough. You need to beat your brain, you need to beat your mind. It's hard. You need to turn up and you force yourself, you force your mind to mold, to change. It didn't work today. No worries. I'm getting up. I'm fucking doing it again now. We don't want to do this. Too bad. I'm doing it. Non negotiable. Setting the alarm bank. Non negotiable. I'm up, I'm out. Don't feel like Going for a walk. Just go. This is the value. When you don't have to think, you just go. Because when you think, you start the monkey brain of overthinking, and all of a sudden you get distracted and you get pulled away to what? Even. To what you even thought was relevant and real, to what's convenient for the time. And all of a sudden there's another week, it's January 15th, it's February 10th. You still haven't fucking done what you said you would do. This is because you're letting your brain beat you, man. You're not rising to the call. You're not going 100%. All in understanding the gift that you are to life. You must love yourself. How the fuck can you expect anyone else to love or respect you if you don't love or respect yourself? They won't. They can't. Doesn't exist. Whether it's body weight, whether it's mindset, whether it's the energy, whether it's moping around the house. Doesn't matter. They're all relevant. They're all representations of you, your identity and who you are. How could you? I've said that to my wife before. I said, if you just fucking moped around the house all day, blew out to 200 kilos or whatever, and you just. Just completely fucking neglected your body and self, I said, how could I ever love or respect you? Because you're clearly showing me that you don't love or respect yourself, or you would be. She's not. But if she was in that position, what happens? The egoic mind pops up. Ah, fuck it. Put up the walls, the front. What are you talking about? Blah, blah. And I'm not saying that with my wife. I'm saying that with anyone, even yourself. If you're getting triggered by this, it's the truth. Fuck that ego off. Get it out of the way. And ask yourself this question. Do I actually truly, deeply, at the core level, look at myself in the mirror and go, I love you, man. Like, I know you know what we've been through thick and thin, but here we are. And we will keep rising. We will rise to the call, and we will improve. That's important. You might have me in this podcast. You might be a member who loves listening to these podcasts as well as our members do. So you're on the inside, in the inner circle, but regardless of where you are in your life, with people, places and things, you are alone. You are always alone for a portion of the time, for a portion of the day. For a portion of your life, always, you need to be able to look in the mirror and go, I'm not fucking happy with who is looking back, but I love myself enough to fucking change that. And so do you, don't you? And you literally point to yourself and the lesser version that's looking back and say, yes, yes, I do. You're right, Al, or whatever your name may be. You're right, Andrew. Yes, Better Andrew is right, Lesser Andrew is listening now. Let's fucking do this, man. We're a team, let's do this together. But I'll tell you what, I'm calling the shots. This is me brain, subconscious reactions, all the things that have conditioned me, my environment, education, relationship. I'm going to zoom out and this is who I want to be. You can't do that if you don't start building. And it's hard because we want the reward first and then we can start believing. You want the rewards first and then that means you'll start believing in the actions. And that's the hard part of life when first you must start believing in the actions and follow through on them. And I promise you, mate, the rewards will come. This is why I'm here. Even if I never meet you, I can feel the connection. We are all connected to some degree. If life is energy and energy exchanges, transfers, transacts, life is connection. And if you value and listen to the words I speak in the podcast and what you see in me, the message, the branding, our movement, and you value that, then listen when I say, I fucking believe in you, man. You can do this. This isn't fluff and music or YouTube with some fucking celebrity you might never meet. This is real. You can do it. I believe in you, man. Don't be cynical, don't be pessimistic. If you hold high value of what I'm saying, then fuck off. The little voice inside that saying, no. Because sometimes you know what? It does take someone else to raise a level of belief in you, for you to raise that level of belief in yourself and to see that and to see what's truly possible. You know, we all have different gears and different chapters in our life and whilst as humans it's natural to compare, it's not wholesome for you. I trained on Christmas Day and maybe some people would have looked at and go, fuck, Come mate, settle down, it's Christmas Day. Maybe they did. I think one guy did actually comment. I think he went to school or boarding school with my dad or something. Some old bloke settled Down. It's Christmas. Joking or not, your words, your thoughts, they are fucking black magic, man. That doesn't mean you have to live life serious all the time. But as men, we hide behind humour. We hide our shame and our guilt and our blame behind humour. And little things and little shots and who's got the fucking bigger dick and who can outdo who and not crack a smile? And all this bullshit, all this facade. Joking or not, there's always power behind energy, which is words, thoughts, feelings, actions. If you didn't agree that I trained on Christmas Day, that's your fucking call, not mine. If you have a problem with that, that's your problem, not mine. Which means if it's a problem for you, you should do something about it. I fucking love that, man. Like that set up my Christmas. I'm in phenomenal shape at the moment. Like, man, I am sharpening up. Like, abs are popping back through at a four pack. Should have a six reasonably soon at some stage, but that's not. Yeah, I'm not looking to get on stage or Mr. I'm just sharpening up. I'm becoming a lean fucking machine again. And my Christmas was phenomenal. I ate lots. I ate well, I enjoyed it. But training Christmas morning, man, that set me up so nicely. I enjoyed it. The endorphins were going, there was dopamine, a sense of achievement, reward. The kids were coming in and training with me. So there's your oxytocin, your connection with the family, little Romans lifting up the dumbbells and firing away. And then in terms of serotonin, I maintained good balance and stability because my routines were set. It was fantastic. But don't go diving into trying to pull everyone else down just to create an illusion of elevating yourself, which all of that is just fucking average. Just average. You go out to dinner and you want a nice meal, you go to the movies, you want comfy seats, you want a good experience in the movies. You have standards with all this other shit outside of your life, yet you don't even put standards inside your own life for you and who you are. This is what I mean when I say you need to beat your brain. You need to be smart, work smarter and harder and keep turning up, oh, you're not happy with this. I'm going to change this. I'm going to do it again. We will change. We'll do it again till we get it right. And then next thing you know, you'll have it. You've got it. It might be March, not January. Might be June, not February. But it takes time for all of us to some degree, to unfuck ourselves, to create new pathways, neural pathways, and new physical pathways and patterns which become our habits. Pattern of performance. I've said it before, that's one of our HPF pathway principles. So this is. Okay, well, how do we do it out? Here are the principles. How do we do it? Well, pattern and performance system. What's the order in which you're doing things? So it's constructed in a way that's connecting family, self and service. And it's effective and efficient. Okay. Behavior. What's the mental approach and attitude towards this? Frequency. How much or how little are you doing this? You must find a sweet spot. And habit. Have you rinsed and repeated the top three systems? That's the order of things, because that's important. Have best intentions, but if the order's wrong, it'll fuck you up. Behavior. Your mental approach and attitude. Frequency. Then it's a habit. That's the fourth one. That's your pattern of performance. And when it becomes a habit, it's a belief system, it's an identity, it's part of who you are. So you are performing. There's poor performance, there's high performance, there's low performance, like you're always performing in life. The question is how and what is it and why is it that you're doing these things? That's layered into our other principles, obviously. But with this one, yes, it's why you don't need 166 days or 183 days or 83 days for there's such a big range. The volume is important. You can't go training 10 times a week. So you're doing two a day, three days and training the other. You can't go doing that. You'll break down. That's why when I say frequency, it's not too much and it's definitely not too little. And that varies for the man, for his circumstances. This is modern day intelligence. Social awareness of everything around you that you're connected to and self awareness. That's what intelligence is. It isn't a university degree. I don't give a fuck what you've read in a book. It's social and self awareness. Wouldn't you know, it sounds pretty familiar, Al. Yes. Internal, external environment like this shit is all connected. It is all the same. You go through all my podcasts and I love the creativity that we have. I say we, not me, because I'm learning. I learn from the other fathers. I Pick up a couple of things, they say. I'm like, oh, man, that's great. We can use that. Like, one of our Lifetime members, Rob Pellegrini, in his episode, don't risk life with something that you can control, that you aren't controlling. Like, that's a phenomenal quote, man. You might just gloss over that when he said it. Or not. Think about it. Don't risk life with something that you can control, that you aren't controlling. That's a very powerful revelation from Rob. Very powerful quote. There's times when you'll want to default and you need to dig in. You need to dig the heels in and go, no, fuck you. This is what we're going to do. This is why we're doing it. And I'm going to keep doing it till we get it right. You might tweak, adjust, adapt a little bit, but you get it and you get it right and you make it successful. And then you are training your brain. Your brain is your pet, your brain is your dog, your animal, where you're like, no, no, this is me. This is what I'm choosing. I'm overruling feelings and old facts and current stories to delay, to intercept, to try and break away from this path of becoming the greatest man I can be. And we're doing it. Which comes to the point when we're talking about 100% of asking yourself the question, what do you actually want? That expansion on that question. Actually not, what do you want? What do you want? What do you want? I want this, this and this. What do you actually want? What do you actually want? What does that mean now? Well, don't just give me fucking words and fluff. Go back. Go deep into that abyss. Go into that dark place, that dark hole. All the shit you're not happy with, all the regrets, all the pain, all the suffering, all the things that you know, they you up and they've burnt you and they've hurt you, but you didn't stay there long enough to explore around and find the light. Because when you go to the deepest, darkest points of despair, of life, and that varies for everyone. I'm not talking about ultimatums here. I'm not talking about taking your life. I'm talking about you're deep and heavy in the pit, in the rut. Some of you might be like, I've never really been there. You haven't tried hard enough, mate. I'm not saying you should actively go looking for trouble, but essentially, some people think they're not that badly in the pit. You're comparing that to maybe other people or other places or stories or things. Look inside your own life. If you know you can be more and you haven't been, that's fucking 7, 14, 16 years you won't ever get back. Maybe you're not placing enough waiting on it. Maybe that's the coping mechanism, the sweeping under the rug, the glossing over because you've got perceived success in certain areas. Fucking good for you, mate. You could have had more. That doesn't mean we're gluttons on life, bouncing between regret and desires. It's making sure that we know that when we dive into the deep, dark skeletons in our closet, when we're reviewing the list of all the mess because life is messy, all of your messages. When you're there and you're in those deep dark spots, you can actually look and get that massive flashlight out and shine that light on the dark points where you know you'll never go back because it's going to shine brighter than ever. Because you can't understand or see what light is if there isn't darkness to compare against. Like, that's true. I remember learning this in science as well. You can't even see color in the dark. I was like, what are you talking about? I was like, we got dim lighting at night time and you know it's dark. Then he's like, no, no, no. You got the street lights. It's still light. You can see some color. You see a bit of gray. You see the pole? It's like, oh, shit. I was 14 at the time. Obviously, we know that now. When you're in the dark, there is no light, there is no color. The dark magnifies the opportunity of the light. When I'm talking about darkness and light, I'm talking about light as 100% man. Like really being a true and real 100%. The only way you get there is by exploring. Exploring the dark. Well, this is what I didn't enjoy. This is what I didn't like. How this is what I didn't love about myself. This is where I'm never going to go back. Like, this is my. This is my line in the sandman. This is my promise, my commitment, my covenant. I will never go back there. I'm never going back there. Like, you must leverage the past. You must leverage the darkness to move towards the greatness inside you. Leverage the dark points, the shit. I'm not fucking perfect. No one is. You must leverage that, though. What makes me stand up and stand out Is I've leveraged the dark. I've leveraged the shit, the pit, the trauma and accelerated period of life, like the last 18 years have been crazily accelerated in family, self and service. Huge losses, huge traumas, huge hardships, huge failures to then become more. I'm never going back there. I will find a way. I will beat my brain. I will not default, I will not stay comfortable. I will sacrifice the comforts to become more. Which means I won't sacrifice my life for the next 40 years to look back and go, oh, that was shit. I could have done a bit more there. What do you actually want? And properly asking, properly asking the question and properly asking the universe not, yeah, I want to do this, this, this and this. All right, cool. You got to fucking 10x that, man. You must apply a huge amount of action, relentless action. Like nothing, nothing comes as easy as you think it should, would or could. I got my van, got the caravan, bought it off my mate, he was in Queensland. So we got a truck down, just like had a guy who's going to truck it down, pulled out last minute, jumped back on advertised, needed someone to bring it down, Got someone else, was more expensive, did it. And then all of a sudden, you know, they had seven pin, not 12 pin. They couldn't light it up. And then like just all this was happening up there. They loaded at dark, loaded at night time. They got it down between Christmas and news because that's when I wanted to surprise Karim with it. And then when they, when they arrived, the. The jockey wheel snapped, it broke. Was like, how are we gonna get this thing off? It's, it's like nearly midnight. Just all these things were happening. And I was like, man, this should be so fucking easy. Load it up, drive it down, unload it. The end. So fucking easy. And I painted in my head this picture that this was how it needed to be or this is how it should be. This is how it will be. You know, it's not like the. I think it's Murphy's Law. Anything that can or will go wrong will. Like, I don't, I don't know too much about some of those things. I don't focus on that. But essentially I'm looking at this going, shit, man. Like, I need to remove assumptions in my life that even the easy things will be easy. You know what? Sometimes they will be. Don't make assumptions, don't fall into that trap. Expectations of actions, sure, but it's a bit hard, isn't it, to have expectations of actions of Others when you can't even meet the expectations of the actions of yourself consistently. Because that's tough. That is tough. Spoke to the tribe about blank blocks. All right, I'm setting up my timeline, my calendar, everything. I'm going to put blank blocks in. So I'm time blocking nothing. I want to do whatever I want. That's my freedom. Today's Friday. Look, I've done it three times out of five. It's not good enough for me. I want blank blocks every day. I want every day at least a 15 minute block to go. I don't want to have to do anything, nothing. That doesn't mean I escape. Go sit on my phone or in between baths with the kids. No, seriously, I want to either go, go for that walk or sit down and read a book or sit down at the front on the veranda. Just do nothing. Like the freedom to do nothing at all, which means I can do whatever I want. Did I fail? Maybe. Did I succeed? Maybe. It's point of perspective, but this is the hard part, right? Excuses creep in. Am I 100%? Well? No. I hit three out of five. Well, today's Friday, so we could hit four out of five. The point is this. Making assumptions and having expectations over things, especially when you're not diving deep to the core of what you want and desire is going to leave you drifting and floating through the space of time. You'll have no idea where you are, where you're going, what's possible, what you can do, what you can achieve. Which means not only are you in the unknown, but you're in uncertainty. You're uncertain of anything. Unknowns are hard enough as it is. We've got lots of those. You can create knowns from that. Taking action, planning accordingly, getting aligned. But all of that starts, man, when you feel like you're deep into this abyss and asking yourself, what do you actually want? It's not just speaking words, it's asking, properly asking and taking three key things into account. Responsibility, like taking responsibility for yourself and for your actions, like that is something where I mean the definition of responsibility, the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something, being accountable or to blame for something, what do you actually want? Really putting it out there and saying, this is what I actually want. Not my words, my thoughts, my feelings, my actions, my emotions, everything. I really want this. And I'm going to do everything I can to create and focus in and narrow in on having the highest probability that the result of what I want will be certain. We know there's no guarantees in life, but the highest probability of the result of what I desire in one of my life is certain. The highest probability of that. By properly asking the universe, asking yourself, asking those connected to your life, discovering what you actually want and asking and acting means you have to have responsibility, not just casting the word off, yes, I'm responsible. The fuck does that even mean? Taking responsibility over that future outcome you can't even see, feel, or touch yet other than in a state as a visionary to explore what you desire and try and paint that picture. Isn't life crazy? Like, life's fucking crazy, man. It's like it's an illusion that you want to bring to fruition and make reality. I didn't sit back in 2018 and go, yeah, I'll start Real dad movement. And, you know, we'll get that going for a few years and then we'll kick off with High Performance Father. Truth be told, I couldn't even fucking believe the name was available. Like. Like, when I was exploring that, I was like, well, what are these men? What are we turning them into? I'm like, well, I was going through this with my coach. I'm like, well, I love the anchor point of fatherhood, because that is the hardest and greatest thing as a man will ever experience. It's directly and proportionately related to our relationships and how we handle marriage and the opposite sex, how we're handling different hardships of babies, children, teenagers, how we're handling being a man with the chaos of life, the duties and real responsibility of keeping these organisms alive. And I was like, we're turning them into high performance fathers. I was like, because I can't. I can't fucking call it that. But surely that would be something that someone, no offense to someone in America or some other countries just taken a fucking run with and done a poor, poor job of. And now it's shit and it's dying. And obviously you're here now and you can see this is like, oh, yeah, man. Fucking game on. We got this. This is ours done. This is us got it. And it evolves. It comes to fruition. You see this? Even this podcast. What are we up to? 171 episodes. I was saying this to one of my members the other day. I was like, I'm fucking tired, man. After my podcast, I put a lot into this. Like, a lot of mental and emotional energy. I'm cooked. I try as best as I can to do them first thing in the morning. Only do a couple a week. That's all we Need. You don't need me in your ear every five seconds, there must be a passage of time from taking in, consuming, reflecting, and its true power. Learn, do reflect, take it in, do something with it, reflect on it. You may repeat it, that's fine. But it must be that triangular or trifecta where you're learning something, you're applying it to your life and you're reflecting on how that went. And then you're tweaking and going again. What do you actually want? Turning the illusion into reality. Properly asking through your actions, your thoughts, your feelings, which means sacrifice, responsibility and sacrifice, cutting away. Here's the hard part. As we're children, we're filled with potential. You can see that in your kids. It's limitless potential. And this is almost the sadness and hard part of life. But it's what makes life the most truest. It's what makes life 100%. As you get older, and you'd know this, you're a father and an older man now. As you get older and a teenager, it starts to narrow in a bit. In your twenties, starts to narrow in a bit, and you start to realize that you've given up everything that you could have been to be that one thing. That's really fucking hard, man. Because if that one thing is something you're not happy about, your life is not aligned. Which means no matter how great a father you are, no matter how great your marriage is, you are missing the mark. You are not 100%. This is sacrifice. I wanted to play cricket for Australia, wanted to play soccer for Australia, then cricket for Australia. They were the two sports growing up. And then that turned into health and fitness and coaching other men and fathers. And then that turned into professional sport. Started that really late with rugby league. I was going to play rugby league. And then body gets torn to pieces, then it's CrossFit. And like, I've constantly sacrificed to pursue the one thing and the one thing changed. But all of those stack up to where I am now. I'm home. I feel like I'm home in what I'm doing here and now. And it's not an egotistical thing. I'm incredibly humbled by it. And I love being part of this. I am part of this. I'm not the one. I'm the part. Like all the rest of you are parts of this message that is heavily needed for future generations right now. And I really do. I get goosebumps with this stuff. Like, it jacks me up, man. It's such a fulfilling Thing to be part of. This is sacrifice. There are so many things I'm really good at, and they're enjoyable and they're exciting and they're flashy and it's new. It's different. It's that stimulus, right? It's that instant gratification, that reward. Yeah. People go and bag out millennials saying they're entitled, put their hand out. Everyone's like that these days. Like, everyone's got fucked up to some degree from technology. I want it. I want it now. Online. Order now. Where's my package? Where's the tracking? Insane. They go throwing stones at something that you are inadvertently showing patterns and signs of as well. This is tough, though, as you get older, because everything narrows in. You're sacrificing everything you could have been to be that one thing. What is that one thing? Are you all in on that one thing? Are you 100% in that one thing? What do you actually want? As we wrap this up, sit back in your life and reflect. What do you actually want? Properly ask yourself. Ask the universe. You are the universe. Like I said, this is your life. Whether you like. It's an amazing book, Biocentrism by Robert Lanza. Whether you agree with it or not, it's irrelevant. It's true. Tree falls in the woods, no one's around, doesn't make a sound. What tree? If no one's around, it doesn't exist. Like you are create. Your consciousness is creating life. That doesn't mean if your dead life doesn't go on, it doesn't go on for you. And we don't know what's next. But that's not our problem either. We're here and now, but essentially my consciousness right here, now, is what is creating the environment and allowing the environment for me, for who I am, to be someone who's speaking into a microphone and recording a podcast episode just like yourself. So when I say, you are the universe, this is your life, don't worry about trillions of space and billions of light years away for some fucking planet or stars like that. That just sounds ridiculous to me as well. Like it doesn't make any sense or relevance, to be fair, you escaping where you are now to dive into some sort of fantasy. And trust me, I love. I love astronomy and I love astrology, but when we say yes to something, we say no to something else. Stop saying no to yourself, man. Stop it. Say yes by asking, looking in the mirror and going, what do I actually want? Properly asking through actions, through planning, through what you're Doing, Taking responsibility in charge of your life. What you're going to do with the right people around you, the right team, the right habits, the right pathway and building progress to that. You keep doing the same thing. Yeah, well, don't expect anything different. If you do, it's on. You have the right people in your corner. No one should ever have to go it alone. Take responsibility over that. Take some humility, take some pride away from the egoic sense that comes in and says, nah, this is me. It's how it has to be. The reason why I'm so successful is because I've got more help than I've ever had. It's that simple. My habits are dialed in. I'm winning in family, self and service. I'm a high performance father. Like, it's very fucking hard, man. You can't do that shit on your own sacrifice. You're sacrificing everything you could have been. Even now. There's always choices, there's always options. It was a hard move for me, selling the gym a few years ago and removing the security blanket of four walls. It became absolute freedom. I knew it was the right thing to do. I listened to my gut, my gut instinct, my intuition inside of me. Don't suppress that, you know, you know things are real or they're not. You know, if something's legitimate or it's not, you know the pathway you should take and the one you shouldn't. Responsibility and sacrifice is important to be that one thing. To narrow in and focus in on your life, which, funnily enough, when you narrow in that focus and you dive deep into that, the depth will bring the width of fulfillment, achievement, reward. Meaning. Meaning to push through the struggle, to push through the pain, to push through everything. People stalking me, abusing me, all the hard things that come into my life. It's worth it for the tribe, for the men. I'm not reckless or careless in that respect, but also the reason why I keep turning up is it's worth it because the message is worth it. You guys are worth it. The tribe is worth it. Which means you've got to have some discipline. That's the third point. Have some discipline in your life, man. You don't have to always have discipline. You'll always have discipline in your life, but you don't always have to be disciplined. On the one thing you might need to be disciplined to set your alarm, get up and go for your early morning walks or do your breathwork exercises or diving into some of these other episodes to get some tactics and strategies, printing them, writing them, putting them on your fridge, sharing them, declaring them to your family, your honey and handsome time with your wife, creating special time with the kids where you're filling their buckets of power and attention and you're working in with them to give them that reward and fulfillment because they're important and you're not giving them enough. One to one time. All this stuff takes discipline to start with, but then over time, through the pattern of performance, it becomes a part of who you are. And then you can look back and go, yes, yes, Al, I am all in. I am maximum, I am 100%. I hope this serves you well. And whilst everything I do has a point, the relevance to an early part of this year, whether you're listening to this in February, March, June, because the title caught your eye now, probably 200 and something episodes, at that stage you're realizing that this is time sensitive, but the time is always now. It doesn't matter that it's early in January. The time is always now for you to go, okay, I'm going to beat my brain. I'm going to cut that little voice inside. I'm going to retrain the patterns and the triggers of me by zooming out a little bit and saying, this is who I am and this is who I want to be and this is what I want, what I actually want. And I'm going to ask, I'm going to start asking people, places and things, the world, the universe, for this. Not through just words and barking or thoughts and feelings that just live and die in your head or in your heart, through actions, through repetition, through resilience, through persistence. Be resilient. Often that's what persistence is. Through a high level of competence. Upskilling yourself, the way that you talk, talking, getting your energy back up so you're not triggered. Like a lot of guys come to me, they want to create better connection relationships with your wife. Well, have some more fucking energy, mate. Then you can handle the shitstorms, then you can handle the triggers. Then you're providing stability for her. Don't even worry about the words. Like I can speak and articulate phenomenally well. That's not the reason why I have a great relationship with my wife. Because I continually show and turn up and I support with the kids, I support with my energy. I help give her her time. I make sure I've got clear boundaries so she can respect mine. That's valuable as well. Hey, hey, this is my time now. This is important for me. Please, I need to do this and then I can be more for you and having that transparency that all comes from knowing what you actually want, properly asking, following through for some short term sacrifices, avoiding long term sacrifices of the alternative and being disciplined enough to follow through so it becomes a part of who I am. I hope this serves you well like always. And there's something you've taken out of this episode where you can start to beat that monkey mind, beat that brain which is just overthinking, tie into some deeper thought which sometimes comes from the darkness. Let's dive deep into some of the dark points and go, okay, this has come and gone or this upcoming, this coming now has come to pass. What do I actually want? How can I move away from this and create that big bright light of leadership for myself, for my children and build a true and meaningful life with legacy by taking responsibility, real, proper, true sacrificing, like I said, the current comforts and sacrificing the discomfort down the track when you're filled with regret, looking on your deathbed and being disciplined enough to turn things around and go from 33% to get above 50, from 57% into the 70s, from 71% to 70 up into the 90s and then in family, self and service in all aspects, in true and genuine fashion. Hunting life, hunting growth, chasing growth and leadership, living with love for yourself, respect for yourself, moving away from decay, waste, all the other shit the rest of the fucking world loves for some reason moving forward in the right direction, saying yes, I am a true and real 100%. And that's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this episode and got some golden nuggets with possibly one or two aha moments as well. If you truly loved and enjoyed what you listened to, then I want to invite you to share this episode with someone who you know needs to hear this. It could be your brother, friends, colleagues, your uncle, even your wife. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that none of us are alone in the hardships we face. But the solution to getting back on top, winning can start with a gift from someone else. And that gift could be an episode like this because another man transformed is another family saved. Which is exactly what we're all about. Thriving and winning in life. There is no alternative. It's possible. It has been done. It can be done, so it should be done. I appreciate your support in spreading this message. Cheers, mate.