179. Who Is Alex Ranieri And What Drives Him?

This episode is brought to you by our high performance Father coaching program where we help men juggle business, marriage and fatherhood to create the greatest balance and impact life has to offer. This is done with our philosophy that is at the core of achieving these phenomenal results in family, self and service and that is investing in yourself first so you can be a true 100% for yourself, but just as importantly for those around you that you love and care about. If you're a father struggling with choosing between your work work and your family, lacking balance and connection in your relationship, what your children need, your own needs whilst building prosperity in your business, head over to highperformancefather.com fill out the form and I'll have my coaches contact you to see how we can help you and if you're a good fit, what it looks like to join the winner's circle on the inside. But for now, take the time to yourself for yourself and enjoy this episode. Foreign. Who is Alex Ranieri and what drives him? Starting this podcast back in 2019 and listening. It'd actually be quite funny. If you listen to the very first episode which has obviously had the most views or listens, you'll see quite a quite a big contrast, not just in that, but our brand, what we've done, the way that we've created change and transformed father's lives all over the country. What a journey. What a journey. And I was going back and forth in myself, do I delete the first episode and redo it? Is that relevant to the time? Or do I just do what I'm doing now and just go, well, fuck it, let's do another one. And maybe it's something as we're entering season four or in season four, maybe it's something that I do every year just as a bit of an update because, well, the principles have always been the same, but the game continues to change. I continue to change. The one constant in life is change. You can't deny that. Which is why it's imperative that we make active choices inside of our life. Because not choosing is a choice. Being passive is a choice. Being passive is active in a way that's detrimental to you and your family's life. So for me to actively choose to grow and change, where I guess looking back now, there's probably a subtle but I think healthy enough addiction to growth. On the flip side, it means I fucking hate waste. I cannot stand it. I can't stand it. It kills me, man, and it kills me to see because it's not necessary. It's actually not needed. And I know that might sound a little bit funny because we talk about you can't have day without night and all that sort of shit, but essentially there's way too much waste going on in the world that is not needed for us to appreciate and understand the value of growth and creating change and having a positive impact in your life and the life that you want. There's enough suffering out there. There's plenty out there. It doesn't take much. It's not hard to find plenty of spots where hell already exists here on earth and there's some pretty dark places in the world. Doesn't take much. That doesn't mean it needs to be your life inside your household. So let's have a look at who is Al, who's Al, who's Alex Renieri, and what drives him now, going through the history and whatnot. Because essentially, this is an interesting one because as much as I enjoy talking, I actually listen a lot more. And I don't ever want this just to be the Al show. It's just about Alex. Even though this is more often than not the voice you hear coupled with guests, of course, it's important that we run through the process of the hows, the how to, the how to think, the how to adopt our principles, our practices, the how to apply facts and feelings in your life, how to apply the right habits to have more meaning and purpose inside of your relationships, inside of fatherhood, inside of your business or place of work. So I'm going to share some quick things, but it's not that I'm glossing over it. It's just that the relevance always comes back to me looking at where I've come from. So I don't need to spend a lot of time there. Which takes me back to the start. Growing up with three brothers, it was an interesting household. There was always love, but it was equally met with, you know, volatility might be the best word to use. Having two older brothers and one younger brother. I was essentially the baby of the family because my younger brother's 8 years old, younger than me, so he was almost like a whole different generation, so to speak. So having two older brothers that, yes, they looked after me and protected me and helped me in times when I was bullied, it's still a rough household. I mean, boys. Boys will be boys, right? But also just. Just throwing that to the side as a saint, yeah, everything's okay is not something I totally agree with, too. So, yeah, it was a challenging household where I fought with my brothers and there was love with the family too. But having an Italian father who was reasonably strict and I guess he loosened the reins a little bit with each child and that's prevalent in my younger brother, Jordan, and his upbringing compared to ours, it was still tough. It was tough. The old bull. You know, as much as I love the things that he showed me and helped me with in life, with an attitude to do and drive myself towards excellence and a mindset of, you can achieve whatever you want, Al, if you put your mind and your heart into it. There were some very powerful lessons that I took away from that, coupled with my mother, who was very loving. She was the ferocious lioness. No one would ever hurt her baby. And you know, that. That obviously came with challenges with my mum being six foot and an ex state netballer, where sometimes we were more afraid of Mum than we were of dad when shit hit the fan in the household. But essentially I love my father for also what he showed me in what I should not be doing, what not to do, the different approach, the different angle to take, and we all have that. I'm not painting a perfect picture inside of our household. What I do with my children, I do phenomenally well. And I'd like to think that the household that I grew up in has been evolved to the household that I am now steering the ship on in the environment I influence and control for my children because I'm the father and they have a mother and this is our household that we influence onto them and with them. It's important to understand that some of the pitfalls of people before us are really the opportunities that are presented for those ahead of us. And I bless and thank, I'm blessed for that. I thank my father and my mother for that as well. They were just doing the best that they could and that was by no means a failure. But this was an interesting household that was very driven by sport and the competitive nature was always there. Being exceptionally talented with soccer at such a young age, playing Since I was 3, I'm sure you can imagine it being a large boy, a large kid in a good way. I was large in a bad way when I hit the ages of 8, 9 and onwards. By the time I hit under 6, I just dominated. I mean, I'd be playing the sport for three years competitively, like, I couldn't. I didn't even know how. You probably couldn't even do it these days. But being registered and playing from the age of three meant that when it came to under sixes, I Was game over. You know, they used to put me in the. Used to put me in the goals after. In his goalie after I scored several goals to give the other kids a go. I mean, this is just shit that makes me laugh. I don't have much of a memory of it. I do have bits and pieces, but. And that's not painting a picture of arrogance. These are the stories that dad would tell me. Very funny. That coupled with cricket. It was great hand eye coordination, competitive nature, team sports. Having that drive and motivation was unfortunately equalized and then overturned with, I guess a love and a gluttonous nature towards food. Maybe it was a coping mechanism. Maybe there was something missing when I went to primary school. Maybe I did have ADD and I didn't realize at the time. I do remember being sent to the principal's office. I do remember doing some crazy shit in the classrooms and being sent to the principal's office became a quick turnaround into a journey and an adventure where I go and hide under the demandables and go play with stray cats and just look under the demandables at my school and find cricket balls and tennis balls and I can't remember just laughing thinking about this. I'd be crawling around in mud and like, how could I not see the crazy nature? Which meant my attention span, my comprehension was shot to. So I was poorly equipped, I guess, or applying myself towards school and then started loving food. You know, cordial was my vice as well as junk food and all the other. We ate well at home too, but you know, that was. That was met and coupled with eating a lot of shit food and snacks to the point where fighting with my brothers, there'd be a little bit of coke left and I'd used to take that coke and hide it. I'd have to go to the toilet and I go to the toilet and I take that bottle because it's a bit left and I didn't want my brother's drink. I'm like, oh, fuck that. I'm going to take that to the toilet with me and just hold on to it. Like, this is. I'm thinking about it now. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed to admit it. I mean, that was some of the crazy shit that I did. I was like, fuck, man, you, you valued coke so much to the point where you'd go and hide. Even when your brothers are saying they're going to have some, you'll go and take it with you because you needed to go and do a dump and you just kept it by your side so no one else could have it. I mean, that, that's a pretty crazy. I guess if I was going to look at an addiction, that's. That's some pretty crazy shit right there. You know, it's. It's fascinating, but lo and behold, blowing out at 114 kilos at 12 years of age. Why would I be surprised? I mean, have a look at that stuff. Being half Italian, our Italian get togethers and catch ups. Smashing food, like fucking smash. To the point where there was a running joke and there still is today, although I'll happily accept it. But Alex doesn't eat until he's full. He eats until he's tired. And that was a really. I didn't even understand that when I was younger. It was just. I was the butt of many jokes from family and friends. That became really hard. That became really hard because food became my comfort. And then games, computer games. I still had some friends, but I felt isolated and alone a lot of the times. I felt very misunderstood. I felt angry towards the world. I felt disappointed in myself. I felt ashamed of who I was. I remember putting shirts on and it just fucking stretched. Shirts would be stretched and shorts would always be falling down. Fucking ass crack would be hanging out. Please understand, like, man or boy, I don't give a fuck how much someone weighs. I'm just sharing about my experience on how I felt being overweight and feeling isolated from my family, from society, from myself. I'm in fucking amazing shape now. It's not that I have a rippling eight pack, but I'm in great shape, you know? Yeah, some of my abs are popping through. That's great. Good for you, Al. But it's a byproduct of not only my standards, but something in someone I refuse. I refuse, man, to ever go back to. Because between the ages of 9 and 16, life was very dark. I don't know how or why. Not that I'm saying I was in a position to end it. Even though I've had friends who've committed suicide and they were teenagers at the time. I don't know what it was. I don't know where it came from, but it was a fucking blur, man. I look at that period of my life and I was just. I felt so empty. So empty. It was really hard. I still felt love from my mother and from my brothers and from my father. But I was broken internally in so many ways and I just. I never really reviewed it. Even now as I dive deep and I bring that back up to the Surface. It's fascinating. I can feel the triggers, you know, that's why I talk about, you know, you're a sculpture of clay. Like you are a clay sculpture that you mold and you are the artist. So all that shit that made my life a misery and hell, I reuse that clay. It's always a part of me, it will always be there. It doesn't define who I am. The shapes changed physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, but it's still there. Like if you visualize your memories, just like dreams, that is a certain reality. And you don't have to go woo woo on that stuff. Like it is. Whether you think it's real or not, it's a specific reality. I'm thinking back at a time when I was bullied and called fat and picked on and I used to look at myself in the mirror and call myself a piece of shit and spit at my face on the mirror. And my eyes would just be fucking bloodshot, man, and they'd be red. Be so much hate, so much self hate and loathing. That memory, that reality, it's almost like it still exists. It's just on a different timeline. Like it's still there. It doesn't define who Al is now, but it's still there. And maybe it was food as my comfort, maybe it was the love of my mother, the love of my father and sport that we shared together, my brothers, when we were playing computer games. Maybe there were a few different things that would help soothe the pain for a period of time, but something inside of me when I was 13, heading into 14, just clicked. And look, I was still overweight for a few more years after that, but something inside me clicked. I was like, you know what? It's hard. It was just a case of enough is enough, but it's also hard to try and share this message with you guys to inspire change because you think there's a defining moment. But I'm not going to sit here like some big fucking motivational speaker going, I stood at the top of some sort of Rock at 13 years of age and said no longer will this be my life. And gave an amazing fucking lashing out at the previous version of Al. And it wasn't like that, man. I was a 13 year old kid and know what the fuck I was doing in life. I was lost, I was drifting, I was floating. Maybe you feel like that, maybe you felt like that as an adult, as a child as well, in your marriage, in your relationships, in your business, in your work, but I had that. So it wasn't like this massive epiphany. It was just like there's, like, this little thing inside me just said, you just got to. You just got to do something different, man. Just take action here. And what that started with. And I know this is what started with the vessel of health and fitness, which is why I ran gyms for so many years. And look, it's a. It's a key element of what we do. We call it our energy protocol. This isn't a fitness program. HPF isn't a fitness program. But the way that this can revolutionize and change your life is phenomenal. Doesn't matter how fit you are, because you're consistently investing in who you are and tapping into your own primal power, because you're living life through the vessel of the human body. Don't forget that. I don't care how fucking mentally sharp you are, how emotionally stable you are, how spiritually sound you are, if you don't look after your body and your health, you are fucked. So this was a big drive for me because of the contrast of the A to B. The journey of where I was and where I am. That literally just started with cutting away cordial. I think it was cooler or gi lime might have been. It was the green cordial. Fuck, that was addictive, man. That was brutal. I. I cut that away and just started walking around a soccer oval or a soccer field. The lines are marked out. It's about a 1km walk to the field, and I just walk around and I walk home. And this is the value of me doing this podcast for myself as well. Like, the memories are actually coming through. I don't even know why I started doing that. Something just. So I said, look, just go to the park and just start walking. That turned into a jog. So I jog 3. And a soccer field. Strangely enough, it's not like a rugby league field. I don't think it's as wide, but I think a rugby league field ends up being around 340 meters. It's actually very wide. A rugby league field, I think, is about 70 meters wide. Soccer oval might be 50. It's definitely not as wide. From what I remember measuring, I ran three laps, so I nearly ran for a kilometer, and then 5 and then 6 and then 7 and then 9 and then 11. And next thing you know, I'd still walk down and walk back. That was my warmup and recovery. And I got up to, I think, 21 laps from memory. That's big for me. Like, if you looked at that 250 to 300 meters. You're looking at around that 4 to 5 ks. So I cut out McDonald's and junk food, started lifting weights. So lifted weights, played around in 13, bit more in 14, more in 15 and then started to get more serious at 16. And dad was awesome in that respect. He filled. We had a double garage and just had everything. It had an adjustable incline sit ups, it had a leg press, we had pull up bar, we had multiple pulleys, we had a huge squat rack, we had a massive punching bag. It was awesome, man. Like it had everything about probably about a thousand kilos in weights he just picked up from auctions. Didn't matter. There was all different brands and shapes, it all weighed the same. That really started to drive me. And we had some, some black and whites, I've still got them. Some originals, not just prints, but originals of Arnie when he was competing. And there are many things I don't agree with. Arnold Schwarzenegger in the modern world, but certainly back at that stage he was a hero of mine and someone to model and aspire to be more of. And you know we even had chicks. I mean I think that's one of the biggest motivator like for us as men, procreating, being primal. Like it's. We had, we had pictures of some fucking hot women though. That was, that was semi bodybuilding. Like they weren't muscly but they'll fit the whole. The old aerobics Oz style. I used to love that show in the morning. Fuck man, you couldn't get me out of bed quick enough. It's on Chuck it on tv. I think you know why as a teenage boy is like fuck yeah, I'm going to be watching this show. It was probably my fate. Someone goes, what was your favorite show when you were younger? Was it the Simpsons? Yeah. Was it the Flintstones? I was like, nah man, it was aerobics Oz style hands down. That was number one shit. But that's a powerful driver for a lot of us as men, like when we're younger, coming through. It's just part of that, you know, the testosterone, estrogen, masculinity, femininity, like it's the yin and the yang. And that was a good driver for me too. But strangely enough, a lot of the things that drove me, who's Al and what drives him, a lot of things were coupled. I think there was a balance when I look back. Yes, it was a fear of failure. But once I started generating momentum and building success in certain areas, even as A teenager. It then became a love for greatness. You need both. You can always have both. Move away from pain, move towards pleasure. Same thing. A fear of failure or a love for greatness and creating that greatness inside of yourself, you need both. You can't live with just the fear of failure, otherwise you're doing things for the wrong reason. You are triggered, your reaction, like you're reacting. You're in a reactive state. And also you, you burn out. Like you don't get to look up and see what the true vision looks like and have that foresight of your own path. On the flip side, if it's a love for greatness, yeah, I get that. But then are you trying hard enough? Are you taking big enough air quotes, calculated risks that do give you that, ooh, I've got some butterflies here. I'm a little bit anxious or a bit sort of nervous about. That's. You might get it less and less as you get older. I get that. I used to have that every week playing rugby league. But it's an imperative part of life to go, you know what? This is an unknown that I'm stepping into. This is what I'm going to pioneer or create. And I see that largely inside of our HPF program. Show me a global movement for fathers that's been established for a period of time, that's setting a standard. Of course, there's business coaching, you know, fucking boys to men and real men and be a king and king this and king that. There's a fucking king program around every single corner. The world's got two billion kings. Not to take the piss, but some of the titles crack me up. The reason why it's high performance, father, is it's the hardest and greatest thing you and I will ever experience as men. It exposes the facts of the stability in our relationships, or lack of with marriage and everything else. It exposes us as men. It exposes our pitfalls, our triggers, our habits, our patterns, our routines, our rituals, our decision making processes, our perspectives. It's the hardest but the greatest thing that we will ever experience as men. Fatherhood. Why? Because it strips back the layers. If you're willing and able to own the complete truth of who we are. So I just built and I built layer on layer. These habits started to come in, started to go to the farm and get farm eggs. We used to get goat's milk. Raw goat's milk is amazing. It's the best thing for you. It's a digestive enzymes similar to that of human breast milk. Which makes it much more. It's something that is much more effective for you as opposed to just having cow's milk from the shops where they've loaded with a fuckload of antibiotics and all the other shit just to keep them pump. Factory farming started smashing that, going to the local fruit and veg markets. And my brothers and I started to get right into the weights and changing and seeing the muscles and building. And then we joined another gym. So I trained at home and at a gym and I had gym partners in my school and started getting healthy and fit and strong. By the time I hit year 12, I became the arm wrestling king of the school. That was it. Alex was going to live forever. Al was the health and fitness freak. I remember going to a party and everyone ordered pizzas. No bullshit. This is, like I said, like there's. Our life is filled with a fuckload of memories. Things will come in and I'll just share them with you randomly that I probably haven't even shared with anyone else before. But I remember going to a party and they had pizzas everywhere. No bullshit. I remember this. I think Jamie Lee was a name. One of our school friends. And we all went to a party. I was with Corinne at the time as well. So we were there and. And she was. She was supporting and laughing at me at the same time. And I took my own. Like, I've heard of people doing this when they're bodybuilders, they go to weddings, all that sort of shit. But I was fucking 17, man. Like, think of the peer pressure. Think of, like fitting into the mold of everyone else. Think of going with the flow. Think of something like, you know, having a great night with pizza and alcohol and booze and drugs and all that sort of shit. I went there and took my own tuna, my own salad, my own extra virgin olive oil. I literally asked the mum for, like, for a bowl. I created my own salad and had this massive. This massive fuck off salad. This healthy salad of tuna and filled with tuna and protein. And I chomped on that. No alcohol, had water, had massive tuna salad. Everyone else is getting pissed, having pizza, doing whatever, doing their thing. And I don't judge them for it. That's great. Not good for them. Like, they're all my mates. Whereas it was, you know, it was a party. We're just hanging out, but, you know, talk about dedication and standards like that, that discipline. Because discipline is funny. It wasn't discipline to do the action, it was discipline in the environment. The action was a habit that was already Part of me, but discipline in the environment. And that just there's probably giving me an idea for another podcast, because that's a. Yeah, very interesting. Just make a quick note on that. Because we talk about discipline. Discipline is a scam. But discipline comes in many different forms. It's not just through your own actions, it's definitely through your environment. But the habit can hold true and hold strong if the habit's strong enough inside of the environment you're exposed to. Coupled with the discipline to follow through on that habit. We'll save that one for another one. That sort of stuff was fascinating to the point where I went from this overweight, obese, bullied, depressed, picked on kid to unfortunately, in some areas, becoming the bully. I was the king of the bus. I sat on the back seat. No one fucking sit near me. This is it. This is just for year 11 and 12, just for seniors. You have to earn your stripes. And I did get a bit of a chip. I'm not shoulder. It's almost like, okay, yes, I paid it forward by inspiring and helping lots of other people. But then on the flip side, like a switch, if anyone threatened my identity, I lashed out and I became the bully. It's not something I'm proud of, and I'm great friends with a couple of people that I did bully in school, and I'm glad I had that opportunity to repair and heal some of those relationships. But again, this just exposed a hard point in my life where I thought I was defined as something, but I was also just as easily triggered when that something was questioned or I felt the integrity of who I was was at risk to falling back to the old version, which the old version I saw at that time. And, you know, the school environment's a fucking jungle. Like, it's pretty wild for everyone. I saw that as weakness. Now, I'm not weak. I'm not going back to that version. I'm not fucking weak. I'm strong. I'll show you. But I guess, fascinatingly enough, like, it led to me coming second in the state in shot put, which was pretty cool. And then after finishing school with a UAI of 30.3. So at least I knew what my score was, because anything below that, it was 30 or less. I remember hitting the reset button. I was like, no, that can't be right. I'm very smart. I'm very clever. Surely I did better. And I kept punching it in. It kept coming up with 30.3. It was just this bewilderment on my. This look on my Face And I was with one of my friends Greg at the time and we'll just fucking laugh. I just started laughing. I was like, oh, okay. Don't really want to tell dad that because dad was very, very academic, as was one of my brothers, but my other brother wasn't and he dived into business as they did, as we all have now. We're all into business. But yeah, fascinating to finish year 12 and not know where I was going. But just knew that I had, I had the resilience, I'd achieved success. Yeah. In turning and transforming my life around. I had my now wife Corrine. I met her in high school and we started dating in high school. She was in year 10, I was in year 12. So I was like, I can fucking do anything. I've shown myself, I've shown the world I can do anything. So I don't know where I'm going. I'm just going to work casually here, there and there. Get fucking 20 bucks an hour and I'm just going to do that and I'm just going to live. Now look back then and a lot of the success in my life that's coming was definitely delayed. But also I took a lot of risks. I wasn't lazy, although I played probably too many computer games when I look back. But I took a lot of risks. I tried a lot of things. I had a crack at many things. I started playing. I played a year of rugby league at under 13s. I was fat and sloppy and shit at it. Had no idea and finished that year where we won the competition in division four. Probably played a total of like 20 minutes the entire year and then started under 14s and then just quit. I'm like, I'm not doing this anymore. So I guess you could say I started rugby league then, but I barely had a footprint in the game or understood it at all. But when I left school I was like, you know what? I'm big, I'm strong, I'm healthy, I'm fit. I need to test this. I need to challenge myself again. I need to test this. So I went to St. Mary's Saints at the time. They won at the competition the year before and applied for the preseason. Had a meeting with them. My father in law teed me up a meeting to catch up with the GM of the club. And they obviously liked the look and the size of me and thought I had potential. Did the preseason. It was obviously a lucrative club to be part of. We had maybe 50 guys trying out for an 18 man squad. And I destroyed everyone in the preseason. Was I skilled? Not particularly. I was in many ways, through cricket and soccer and playing touch footy. But, you know, the coaches saw me blow everyone out of the water. Beating the backs at certain speed drills, beating the forwards at conditioning drills and, and strength drills, and I got a shot. And from there I don't want to say the rest is history because it's important to share on this, but it's quite interesting. Like, I was on the outer again. I was a nobody. So I had conflict with my teammates. It's like, why the fuck do you keep giving me flack? I'm just here, I want the team to win, blah, blah. And, and through continuously standing up for what I believed in, that's an important thing that drives me. I've had so much collision in my life. I've had so many fucking conflicts, so many men I refuse to lay down. That doesn't mean I go looking for fights. And it also does mean that plenty of times people wanted to fight and I just fucking dismissed it. That's not worth my time and energy. That's, that's, you know, a real man doesn't fight for everything. A real man knows how to value his time and invest that wisely. So there have been plenty of times I've gone, that's definitely not fucking worth it. This is way better for me to invest in. So it happened a lot. But when something was important for me and a close and intimate part of my life, I fought. I fought and I was willing to fight. So that went to getting some respect, to coming off the bench, to getting man of the match, to starting to. Then going and making the grand final. We lost the grand final. And then getting selected for eight development squads. I stayed with the Panthers, trialled with them, made the squad again, started on the bench. I went into Jersey Fleg, which is the under 20s at the time, and came through. Went from the bench to starting to man of the matches, to getting pulled up in a reserve grade, played a couple of games, hurt my shoulder a little bit, so went back down, recovered and went back through Jersey Flake. So what a, what a crazy journey, man. Here I am running out onto Anz Stadium, playing against the South Sydney rabidos for the St. Mary's Penrith Cougars. That was the reserve grade for the Panthers at the time. 18 months ago, in. Within 18 months, I went from nothing to being one step away from first grade. 18 months, like there's been plenty of success stories. Michael Jennings is a great one. He came through with us, where we saw him go from, I think it was maybe two years. He went from SG ball the jersey flag to reserve grade to first grade. That was crazy. Like that was very impressive. I might have been a bit out on the timing if Jenko ever listens to this. But yeah, it was, it was thereabouts. Very fast. And mate, talented footballer, make no mistake. But to go from that, not even playing the sport to fringe first grade was, I was starstruck. I was blown away. I felt out of my depths, I felt overwhelmed. I loved it, but at the same time I almost didn't feel worthy. So what comes in this imposter syndrome. And you all have that, we all have that inside us. It's very rare for me now, I can't remember the last time it popped up and spoke to me because I sort of don't really give a fuck about what it says anymore. But essentially we do have that little voice inside. Call it whatever you want, self sabotage, tall popping yourself, that did creep in. I played well, but I didn't play as good as I should have. And same thing happened again when I was with first grade squads for years. I look back then I'm like, man, I should have walked into the coach's office said, hey, what the fuck do you need from me? What do you need from a front row? Because this is what I'm going to do and I need you to understand that I'm going to play first grade this year and I'm going to show you why I'm valuable to the team. Could you imagine if someone went in, in their early 20s to a first grade coach with respect and said that like, I'll tell you what, if I was a coach I'd be like, okay, that guy's got fucking balls, let's see what he can do. Instead I was the quiet achiever. So whilst I got on really well with Matty Elliott, the next year I was up in first grade squads and did really well with the Panthers. Unfortunately I broke my jaw, went to tackle a marry and it's not a racial thing. They're fucking strong. They're strong boys. And his head is obviously thicker than mine and he fucking headbutted me. My jaw broke in three places and strangely enough, I was out for 12 weeks. And that was pretty challenging. Not that I'm floating because there are too many stories to tell, but that was challenging. You know, I ended up having nine operations over a six year period and the broken jaw was probably one of the worst. Losing my jaw muscles, having My mouth wide shut for three months. Learning to talk like this, learning to talk with my mouth shut. What a nightmare. I remember Mum blending up hot dogs because I just needed to taste food. Like I need to know what food tastes like was killing me. And it was a disgusting pink color. She blended the bun, the hot dog, some cheese, the tomato sauce, everything. Fuck, it tasted amazing, man. Like I tell you, take food away for 12 weeks and tell me how you go. No protein shake in the world will match eating amazing, amazing quality tasting food, let alone being desperate enough to go, I just need something blend up a steak. She blended up pizza for me once. I was crazy, man. Like, it was really hard. It was really hard having your mouth wide shut for three months. I was crazy. And ironically enough, I fractured my cheek as well. Comeback game, same team, same bloke. I went, fuck this cunt. I'm going to get stuck into him. Went, put a big hit on him, nailed him, but unfortunately had another head clash and I fractured my cheek again. I couldn't believe it. So there was another couple of weeks out, but what a. What a crazy world, man. Like, it really is funny how the universe works in a lot of those ways. And I was primed to make first grade and unfortunately, it's just the way it goes. It's just the roll of the dice. And between them, with the administration at the Panthers stuffing me around a little bit and being approached by Brownie and the Dragons, I ended up signing with the Dragons and having my commitment to them. Even when the Panthers come back, I said, I'm sorry, I've already committed and you guys fucked me around. Hindsight, look, I have my now wife, so I had my girlfriend at the time, I had my family I had set up in terms of stability, wise would have been a much better position for me and contacts, connection. Matty Elliot loved me. Although Brownie liked me. I was going to a new place, but it was almost like it become a pattern for me to go. I need to prove myself to as many people as possible and I need to prove myself again by challenging and going out and moving somewhere, buying a home. Long story short, what that became was me traveling down to Wollongong, my relationship with my wife breaking down, never feeling more alone than I ever have. The Dragons, unfortunately, whilst there are good, genuine men in there, there were a fuckload of egos and men who weren't genuine. But I mean, I don't blame them for that. Look at the environment, right? You've got all these guys who are in the limelight and they're on a shitload of money and everyone supplicates to them and puts them on the pedestal. And there are good cultures and bad cultures and I just never gelled. I never clicked with most of them and that was frustrating. It doesn't mean that they weren't good guys. I take ownership over that as well. Maybe the way I handled myself, maybe I was too quiet, maybe I didn't dive in and play the fucking game like the rest of them and go to cafes and do all that sort of shit, I don't know. But essentially I definitely felt isolated and alone. And that was solidified with the first first grade trial against the Bulldogs. 10 minutes in at doing my ACL and the entire season being a write off. It was really challenging time for me. I really was, because I was up and down with my, with my wife or my girlfriend at the time, Corrine. We were up and down. My body had been shot to shit. So I lost my body. I lost everything that defined me as being someone who's driven by power, performance. I was a machine. My body was the vessel to validate who I was. And I couldn't even walk. Like, imagine going from that being the pinnacle of health and fitness to learning how to walk again. And whilst the knee was done, the shoulder had a few issues. So guess what? They did a shoulder recoil as well. At the same time, I actually forgot about that. It was literally March knee, Rico, May shoulder, Rico laying in there in a unit in Wollongong that I'd purchased at the time with my arm in a fucking sling, my leg in a brace, couldn't move. Right knee, left shoulder, couldn't sleep. Never felt more alone. Never felt more like a failure, to be fair, because I'd driven such a long period of time, of change, you know, from 13 to 21, I had hiccups and challenges like everyone, but I just kept moving forward, kept moving forward. And I was stuck here and I got complacent. I didn't do the extras like I used to. I didn't book in and utilize the Dragons or they, you know, I wasn't as important. I could see that. And I sort of started to get dismissed and they brought the under 20s through and you know, and then, and then Wayne Bennett came in and I definitely don't align with him in any sense of the fashion, but that's probably another story in terms of personal values and I'm sure with a lot of things that have happened, you can probably see that now, but it's is what it is. Like everything. There are people who hate me and people who love me. But there's definitely another side to that story where lies and deceit and manipulation and power trips hold. Very true, very true for that particular man who no longer deserves any more of my energy. So I'll move on from there. It was a really hard period of my life, which I guess came to a close when I was halfway around the world playing for Italy. Played five test matches, being half Italian over in Serbia against Lebanon to make the World cup qualifier. My shoulder got torn to pieces under a tackle. They're jabbing me with stuff to remove the pain. That didn't work. I'm in this ambulance, they're not even speaking English. I'm on my own, no one is near me. The team's still playing. It was crazy, man. Like, I think Cameron Seraldo broke his ribs. Another bloke split his head open. I did my shoulder within 10 minutes. Like it was on. Like the Lebanon was a strong team as well. Very strong team. We ended up making the World cup, which was fantastic. And you know, I was at the hospital getting updates constantly as best as I could. And it ended up being we clawed back to 18 all. Then it was 1918, 19 all, 20, 1920 all. And I think it ended up being 21 all. What a fucking crazy game. I couldn't imagine what it would have been like. Couldn't imagine because I wasn't there. I was in his hospital, which looked war torn. Serbia is a beautiful place, but just as much war torn with from the bombings in the 90s that were never repaired or healed. And people weren't even speaking English. Everyone was looking at me. There's this big white dude with his shoulder was still up, popped out. I'm laying down. The doctors couldn't even speak English. I'm like, oh man, this is not. I knew it was over. I knew my career was over. I knew this phase of my life had come to an end. And I'd never felt even more so than when I did my knee originally because I ended up having four knee operations. Two shoulder Rico's from. From that point on and broken jaw and elbow arthroscopy. I think I had nine operations in a six year period. That was the point, man. Fuck, I felt so alone. So alone halfway around the world. Couldn't call anyone, couldn't speak to anyone. Shoulder was fucked. I was just in tears. I was in tears. I'd run my own PT business for a while at that stage. I got my certification at 17 years of age and worked with many people, a lot of dads, funnily enough. I'd had lots of programs with fathers in person in my gyms, heaps worked with a lot of men, older men, being a bit more old school probably with my values, with my older brothers and my father, the old Italian, the old wog, the old head. I just connected with older men and a bit more old school myself. And that obviously became Roald Dabner High performance father coaching program from 2018 onwards. But did a lot of that. You know, I was like, I love helping people, I just love helping people and inspiring people to see the possibility of change in their life, the possibility of better outcomes, the possibility of transforming and shifting identity. Because I know I had. So whilst I've been doing that on the side, whilst I was pursuing rugby league, it became a full blown effort when a mate of mine decided to open up a CrossFit gym which officially launched at the start of 2012 and my career was over. I had a contract with Souths, but obviously when I got back from overseas they did a review of the shoulder and they saw that it was fucked up and I lost my contract, which was disappointing. But that was it. I retired from rugby league and went all in on the gyms. Hindsight had gyms for nearly 10 years, probably five years too long. I should have kept learning what I was doing, but I guess for some reason there was a void inside of me. There was an identity shift that wasn't happening. I was stuck. I was playing the wrong game. Looking at buying my first house with Corinne and looking at having and starting a family, getting married, all this shit was still shadowed by me going, I need to be an elite athlete. So I started the gym to have a facility so I could train and become an elite athlete and make the CrossFit games. That was the next pursuit, that was the next validation, that was the next tool to plug the hole in my life that had torn me away. Because everything in my life from being a fat kid was driven towards my physical ability performance and showing and proving people wrong, which I did successfully. That doesn't mean it's a great thing long term because a lot of those people that I proved wrong, they don't mean anything to me now. It's, you know, I mean, like, it's crazy how much you try and show, show up or show others. Just show yourself, man. That's all you need to do. Show the version inside which is the little voice. Because we all have that. The shittier the shitter version that says, no, you can't do this, don't do this, it's easy. Do that, do that. Just relax, show them what you can do and leverage others. Leverage me, leverage this podcast, leverage the tribe. Leverage people who are in your corner because you find out very quickly. Do this as a test. Share everyone that you think loves and cares about you, that you yourself love and care about, that you're off the piss for February and see what response you get. Ah, you'll never do it. Ah, it's piss. You'll know very quickly who's on your side and who isn't. So filling this void and I did prove others wrong at 111 kilos and 6 foot 4, doing handstand walks, muscle ups and all sorts of crazy shit, making the regionals in 2013, 14 and 15. I would call that a very successful career in the CrossFit space. To the point where in 2015, I couldn't sleep one night for whatever reason, I can't remember why. I just started looking at all the regions all across the world and wouldn't you know it, I was the largest, the heaviest. I think there were one or two that were might have been taller than me, but they're about 100 kilos. There might have been maybe two guys that were 6 foot 5 and 198 kilos. But for me, at 111 and 6 foot 4 and the results that I got across all the regionals, I was like, fuck, look at this. I'm actually the fittest man. This is, I mean, you know, trust me, this isn't from a place of ego, but at the time was definitely pride, that's for sure. I was like, fuck, I'm the fittest man in the world. And I was just laughing like it was like fucking 2am and I'd gone through, checked all the stats and I'm like, I am the fittest man in the world. In the arena of CrossFit, of course. I mean, obviously there are some incredibly fit men in all sports from tennis to rugby league, rugby union, AFL, there are freaks everywhere. But in the sport of CrossFit, in the game of CrossFit, I am the fittest man in the world for my size or caliber. And I was very proud of that. But at the same time, it's not. Even though I'm sharing this on the podcast, it's not something I went gloating around and just publicly sharing with everyone. But yeah, quite fascinating. Unfortunately though, it led to failures in my business doing IVF with our children, it was very hard, mentally and emotionally for my wife. Mentally, emotionally for me. Physically for my wife. You know what? Physically for me, too. People think it's hard for the woman, it's hard for the man. We can't do fucking anything. And I'm not saying that you and I are useless, but we kind of are in a different way. Once the egg takes and it starts growing physically inside of us, there's nothing we can contribute to growing the baby other than outside of us in support and care and the right routines and habits and all the other points of emotional and mental support for. You and I both know that's not how we work for men. A lot of the times we're Mr. Fix, it's. We're logical, we're tangible. We want facts. We want to go A to B, here we go. This is how we fix it. Problem solved, done. You know, it doesn't happen. Even if your wife has a breeze of a pregnancy, it still doesn't happen. It's challenging. It's why my marriage was breaking down in 2017. I was playing the wrong game. I still needed to be an athlete. Business was fucked. I think at that stage, I was nearly 230 grand in debt. That's not including our home loan. I lost my home. That unit that I had in Wollongong, I lost that. Like, that was gone. Made fuck all money from that to the point where I'm not going to say I was homeless, but I certainly was in less of a home, you know, I guess I was nearly homeless. I was lucky. I got to go into a shack with one of my mates that I stayed there for a couple of weeks, and then Nan and Pop let me live with them. So did I have options if I reached out in desperation? Of course I did. I wasn't living in the street with 30 cents to my name and all that sort of shit you hear some of the big fucking wizards over in the U.S. talk about. But nonetheless, man, I had fucking nothing to my name. I had nothing. I had a shitty car. Like, I had nothing. My parents were in Queensland. Not that I blame them for anything, but for me, I was trying to repair my relationship with Corinne, and I moved in with my grandparents. I'm grateful that they took me in and helped me. They gave me stability. Isn't it funny? You look through your life and it's like, man, there were so many people that you just wasted time on. And then there were these people who were just like. They were like your guardians, man. They actually provided you the stability you needed to get up and on your feet again. You don't see it at the time, but you look back, I'm like, man, my grandparents, like, they had their own issues and challenges. They were getting pretty old and they took me in and, fuck, they looked after me like they really did. It's quite emotional to think about. I was very close to my pop. I was very close. I'm essentially his doppelganger. But about 80 years later, in many ways, I was playing the wrong game. We did IVF struggled. We had Stella, our firstborn, IVF struggled. Lots of failures, lots of challenges. The gym was falling down. I didn't tell Corinne about any of that. Didn't share my burden or problems with anyone. Yeah. And I think at that time I had like 30 or 40 grand in rent that was overdue, let alone all the other debt that I'd accumulated. Ex business partners. That was really fucking hard, man. And I'm sure some of you guys, some of you bigger players out there, maybe you've been in more debt in different ways. That's good, man. Good for you. But this is my entire life. I had mouths to feed. I had nothing. I was young. I didn't have the skill sets, I believe, to turn that around. Many men who make lots and lots of money and then go broke or bankrupt or whatnot, a lot of them bounce back, right? They've got the system, they understand. They know how to leverage networking and relationships, and it's very possible. And I say that with respect to some of you who've been in the pitfall and not bounce back, because it doesn't mean it's probable, it doesn't mean it's guaranteed, but it is possible. But at that stage, I was like, man, all I know how to be is a fucking elite athlete. And then helping other people create change in their life. I didn't know about marketing, advertising, how to find a true message, you know, I loved working with fathers and had various programs for them. But I was still of the old all walks of life and trained fucking mums and kids and teenagers and women and just a general approach for life, right? And that led to my marriage breaking down. And I was looking for escapes, whether it was performance and fitness, whether it was the ego, whether it was the power of being the fittest in the gym, of trying to get recognized or noticed by other women giving me compliments. As fucking shitty and shabby as that sounds, it makes you feel good about yourself, right? Maybe I wasn't getting that at home. Because my wife was going through her own problems. So I'm like, oh, well, that feels nice to get a compliment that I'm fit and healthy and strong. That led to a dangerous path where I nearly ran away. I was living in my gym for a short period of time. I wasn't there for months, but I was definitely in there. That was it. I was out of the house. Crin and I were breaking down. We were broken. My daughter with anxiety, attachment issues, she was shattered, you know, and it's. I can still see just, just. There's still some scarring in there. She's a beautiful little girl, but there's still some scarring there. Like, fuck, man, that's crazy, isn't it? You can just see the personality tweak of Stella as opposed to Lillian and Roman. It's very interesting. What drives me. Who is Alex Ranieri? Well, that's a hard thing to answer. I'm a collective of everything and everyone. I'm a collective of you. Like, without you to receive this, without a reciprocal nature and relationship that we have, you and I, I wouldn't even be doing this podcast. So maybe Al is a collective of thousands and thousands of people that he's met, interacted with, networked with, connected with, worked with, trained with, lived with for a period of years that has made me who I am. But your identity is simply a choice internally backed as truth externally. And truth externally is only backed with actions and results. So who am I? Well, fuck knows. Because I can be whoever you want me to be. Inside of your eyes, that's your choice. That's your definition. But what drives me, I will never give up. I would never lose. I refuse to lose. Doesn't mean I haven't had losses. But over the span of my life to date, I refuse to lose. And I haven't lost the long game. I've had heaps of fucking short losses, failures, mistakes, learnings, as we call them on the inside, call it whatever you want. I'm not here with some neuro linguistic programming to try and always paint a positive picture at that stage of my life. It was a fucking loss. It was a failure. It was a mistake. I'm not going to gloss that over with Al now, who's driven through optimism and perspective. I was fucking losing. Big man. Like I look back, I'm rubbing my eyes. It's fucking tiring to think about. I look back at the last 27 years of my life. 30 years. The last 30 years. I look back at the last 30 years of my life. I'M fucking exhausted as well. Like it. It's like welcome to the real world, right? A lot of you are probably thinking that now you're 45, you're 55, you have. Yeah, man, that's. You're right. Al left high school. And mate, the last 32 years has been a blur. That's right, it has, hasn't it? But who you are is something that you need to define through yourself. Not others, not other people telling you who and what you should be. I'm not telling you who and what you should be. I'm sharing and hopefully inspiring a lot of the thought process around the how tos. You've got this problem. Well, this is how you could address or look at it. You've got this challenge. Well, this is how you could approach it. Here's the what's the specific strategies, the tactics, what I've done, what we've done, what the men have done, but this is how we got to that point. What drives me is the love for greatness. What drives me is an addiction to growth. Because the opposite of that is waste. And I fucking hate it, man. There is way too much waste in the world. There's been way too much waste in my life. I don't know where my second half starts. You think it starts at 41? Because the average age is 82. How do you know that? I got mates that are already fucking dead. 16, 28, 34, 38, 43, 46. When did their second half start? 8, 11 and a half. 14, 17, 19, 21 and a half. Like you don't know when your time's up. How much time do you think you have? You can't fuck around with time and sit on your hands thinking that everything will be hunky dory and life will fruit some flowers one day if you just keep doing the same thing. Who am I? I'm a man who's willing to stand up for what's right inside of his head and his heart and shed away the old version that he continually becomes for the new version that he continually becomes. Because this is what happens. You reach your new baseline, you reach your new peak. And then you go again. And then you go again. And then you go again. What's the alternative? You just want to sit? This is comfy. This is cozy. I'm just going to sit here for a while. No worries. Do you control all of the comforts and the coziness around you? Well, you don't, do you? Because a volcano could erupt and you could be fucked Right. Or something else could happen, Something you don't control. Hence the extreme example. Who is Alex Ranieri? What is Alex Ranieri? Does it even fucken matter? It's just a name. Simply a name. I am merely a source of energy, just like you are. I am a message. The message, the messenger. And I express that through what I live and breathe every day. The who changes, but the what and the hows, the actions and truth, that will always be true. The passage of time will show that history, your history, will show that. Even if you might manipulate some stories in your head and try and change your past, the truth always wins. We are the message of winning. If I'm addicted to growth, that could be a bad thing. No, it's not. We are winning as a high performance father, as high performance fathers. Because of our principles. They are our laws. When we hold true to those laws, you won't fail. My addiction to growth is. Guess what? In family, self and service, I could have way more fucking money than I do now. I could spend way more time with my kids than I do now. I could be an elite athlete again. I'm an athlete now. I'm in good shape. But I could be competing in sports and all that sort of shit now. But at one of those, at the cost of the other two. You lose. You fucking lose, man. And guess what? I'm juggling all three. Family, self and service. I spend four to six hours a day with my children. Every day. Every day. I'm not saying that that makes you a failure if you can't. I'm sharing my personal experience of what I went through and worked hard for. I don't worry. My kids have said, I don't want you to go to work, daddy. You work too much. And that shit hurts. That hits me as well. Don't worry about that. Look, what are you talking about? I went to work for five hours today. It's hard, isn't it? When they push that stuff onto us, we feel guilty, we feel ashamed. We should be with our kids all the time. No, you shouldn't. This is your life. You shouldn't be a slave to the dollar. You shouldn't spend fucking five hours a day in the gym. You don't need to. So my addiction to growth with one of our core principles, the circles of significance, means that I keep my shit together and in order. I'm juggling the balls of family self service and I'm addicted to grow in those areas just as much as I'm addicted to being a passenger in those people's journeys. I really am. My children teach me, they coach me, they mentor me, they guide me. Doesn't matter how old they are. We are all teachers and leaders with different viewpoints at different points of value. So I'm humbled and blessed to be part of their life. As much as I lead them and be their co captain at times, I am a passenger on their ship, I am a part of their journey. What led me to creating Real Dad Movement, which is our organization that guides and inspires men all over the country to create change in their life. And that is like our big umbrella, if you wanted to understand the difference between both. And all of that stuff is generally all of the things we give away for free, just like this podcast. And to expand on that with our Dad's Strong Australia store. That's a fucking awesome. I love that online store. Fuck, it's got some good gear for dads. It's amazing. And our events that we run, the different products that we've created, the different services and courses we offer, and then our elite coaching program, High Performance Father, which is just like, that's, that's where a large chunk of my heart goes because it's like, fuck, man. It's just incredible to see these men on the inside. And that's my environment every day. My environment isn't sitting behind an online store going, hey, let's sell some things. Like, it's all part of the same thing. Let's help fathers, let's be the message. Let's show them what's possible in their life to get their shit together, reconnect in their family and their relationships, build the right habits, get their body in order because energy is valuable, time's valuable. Build the right skill sets, have all those three together, you're more connected in life. The end. So when you're looking at alignment, where are we going and why? A to B Energy. Okay. What's taking us there? Immersion. Who am I going there with and what's influenced me? What energy source is going to influence me to cut the shit and get out of my own way? Performance. Are we on track? Are we heading in the right direction? What do we need to do to tweak, adjust and change? How am I going? What is my score? Am I, true to my word, doing what I said I would do? They are the four key pillars that didn't just come up overnight. It's been a fucking lifetime of work. Not just with me and myself, with these other men, past, present and future. High Performance Father was born because it's like, well, fuck, mate, like, what a life to live if you can get your shit together, get out of the grind, reconnect with your wife or your children, reconnect in future relationships if you're already divorced. Because you don't want to fuck up with the same patterns, right? It's just as important for you when I do speeches and talks and presentations and workshops on marriages. Because guess what? Maybe if you learn a couple of things. I'm not saying you fucked up the marriage, but you might not lead to a position which led to the marriage being fucked up. Maybe that's an opportunity. You start to live and breathe without the ambiguity of life. You live and breathe what being a high performance father truly is. You got your shit together with your work, no golden handcuffs or any of that shit. You're connected and leading your children, engaged and present with them. You acknowledge and appreciate them. You help them find the answers. You help them drive actions and change. You help them become the future leaders of tomorrow. You're creating stability inside of the household, inside of your family, with your relationship with your wife or partner and with your kids, with yourself. How are you turning up when you walk through the door? Don't fuck around and walk through the door with a phone in your hand. That's bullshit. You're better than that. Fuck that shit off. Leave it in your car. Put it in your bag. Leave it. You are training your children to neglect your environment when you want to talk to them, because guess what? They're going to go put a phone in their hand. This is why I created it. Why? Because the opportunity is there. Whether you ever join the inner circle or not. The opportunity is there to live the life that you want. All the bullshit, all the pitfalls, the marriage, breaking down, all this sort of stuff, the fingers being pointed, the blame, the shame, the guilt, the pain, all of that, man, Like I said, it's tiring. I rub my eyes, I'm like, holy fuck, it's been a big 30 years. All of that, all of that shit going on in your life. And how often do you look inside and go without the reactive, what about me? Or the ego, what about me? But actually look inside and go, well, fuck, I got to do something for myself as well. My life's important. I can't. How can I give my family 100% if I'm not 100%? How can I give these children 100% if I'm not 100%. This is your life. You're important too. So other things around you might be Important. But guess what? You are as well. You go and spend 100 grand on a car or fluff away a heap load of fucking money on gambling and other bullshit, yet you won't even invest in yourself. Can you see the problem here? You think you value yourself. Why? Because you get fucking trinkets and treats? Or you flog off to the fucking right porno video that you enjoy and love? Or you go get that little fucking chocky snack at the serv. Or you take the family out for a dinner and splash some cash or some quality food. Or you go out on a holiday. You think that's valuing yourself? Or is that sedation? Distraction, temptation, External measures to justify how good you are or what you deserve? People often ask me, what's the biggest problem that you face with these guys alone? Some are members and some are non members. They're just curious. Like obviously you've worked with a lot of men now, how do they get there? What is it? What's the underlying thing? Look, some of her fathers have a perceived. I say that first because that's important. They have a perceived heavier past than others. And some, yeah, could be real, but maybe I call it perceived because maybe the heaviness of the past has led to the slingshot or the catapult into the amazing success too, right? So it's very interesting when you look at it that way because they did come through the other end. But people ask me, what's the underlying foundation? What is it? I said it's universal. It's the same thing for everyone. Same thing for everyone. It's a lack of self love. Same with women, Same with mothers. Same with certain kids. Same with the elderly. Same with me when I was young. Same with me today if I don't check myself and fuck the little voice off. What is self love? Well, if you're sensitive to the L word, let's replace it. You don't value yourself. There's a lack of self value. Respect is a sign of value, so you don't respect yourself. There's a lack of self respect, respect and values perceived in real worth in the world. You don't think you're worthy of great experiences and a great life, so you lack self worth. What other words do you want? You lack meaning. You lack fulfillment. You lack self purpose. When I say you lack. First, please understand I'm not doing this to apply negative connotation or approach to you as a man. But this is the pitfall that we find. When I say you, I'm just with air quotes Saying what you're saying to yourself, even if you're aware or not. Whether you're aware or not. I lack self worth, I lack self value. I lack meaning, I lack purpose. I lack fulfillment. I lack reward inside of who I am. Depth, love, respect, confidence, courage. That's the hard part. Crazy, isn't it? Because we get some pretty high flyers join our tribe. Very competitive, driven men. And again, they may not look at it as heavy as I've just painted this picture. I don't think it's heavy, personally. It's just an observation. It's as heavy as one makes it. And it could be right, could be wrong. Some people maybe love not liking themselves. The irony, right? That's why hate can be a pleasure. Hate can be a good thing for someone. It's crazy, crazy, man, but it's true. This is why we're here. Yes, women have a pair of pants that they can wear. Yes, women have a gift and a value to the world and a energy and a synergy to the world to connect and bring some amazing miracles and gifts, obviously one big one, being children and their upbringing. So this is not at the cost or detriment of women. What I share, though, is not about them. The ripple effect is they get looked after, they get fed. They get the rewards too. Don't worry about that. They win big, the kids win big. Why? Because you win big. Because you're the fucking man. You're the leader. You're a leader, but you're also the leader. And a woman can be a leader and the leader as well, their way. But this isn't about them. This is about you and how you connect to them. How you connect to everyone, how you connect to yourself. This is why High Performance Father is here. This is who I am. The message and the voice and the man who's not standing on his own. This isn't the fucking owl shell at the top of the mountain. There's many, including you. Otherwise you'd stop listening to my podcasts. You know this message is true as well. Maybe you agree with 80, 73, 94%. It's irrelevant. Find what works for you. And the golden nuggets that you can apply at a core fundamental layer that says, hey, Al's right, I'm the fucking man. I can lead the right way through my actions. And this leadership influences and has a ripple effect to those that I love and care about, mainly my children and my little tribe. So when that little tribe gets. Gets bigger, they're part of a community. And through this ripple Effect the community uplifts. And we evolve as human beings because we are progressive creatures that can't just sit in our fucking hands. Otherwise we would have been dead a long time ago. We wouldn't have evolved. We wouldn't have survived. I can't fucking sit back and just let life plateau. That's not what we're here for. Other people want to do it. That's fucking great. There's 8 billion people in the world. 8 billion eyes. Sets of eyes. 8 billion realities. Good for them. This is our world. What I create internally and personally today in my office here is my world. Yours is your world. If there's an overlap, fantastic. It's our world. This is what drives me, man. There is nothing more fulfilling than the letters I get from family members of the. Not my family, although they appreciate what I do. But probably not as much because they're not on the inside, but members of family. Family members of men who are on the inside. Their wives, their children, them, themselves. The event that we did Kosciusko week and a half ago, like, it's so fulfilling and rewarding, man. I just fucking love seeing that. I love seeing these men and fathers win. Not because they've lost for so long, because they've helped every other fucking person win for so long. So now it's your time. It's your turn. And when you do it, everyone else benefits anyway. Say it time and time again, and it is on our shirts, a series of shirts that we have. When dads win, everyone wins. That's not egotistical. It's not narcissistic with our principles, our approach, our philosophy, and how we do it. They're winning in a genuine fashion through love and leadership, which is the ripple effect that carries through to everyone else. And I'm simply a man who's part of that. I'm a cog in the wheel, and it's what I love. Will it change one day? Maybe, I don't know, like what we have planned. I can see us moving through this for the next 20 years and not even blinking or getting bored, to be honest. There's fucking plenty of work to do, men. There's plenty of work to do. But this is my journey. The game changed and I've changed. Call yourself a life lead, a dad lead. It's the game of life, man. It's family, self and service. I don't give a fuck how rich you are, that means nothing to me, or how good of a family man you think you are, or how fit you are. You bring all three to the table, let's have a chat. And I say that with respect, like, none of us are perfect. I'm juggling all three circles right now. At the time of doing this, most of my family members are fucked with gastro. I'm just waiting for the penny to drop, and I get nailed. The storm's coming, baby. I'm sure it is, but, you know, it's tough. I'm massively under the pump the last three weeks. Massively under the pump. When I say we can talk, when you bring three to the table, I'm talking about your perspective. Submitting and immersing yourself in the understanding and then the process of going, yeah, I can actually have all three. I do believe. I believe it's possible. You can believe in me, but you need to believe in yourself as well. Somewhere deep down inside you, deep down inside of your core, there is a belief that you can change. Otherwise, why the fuck you even here? And I say that with respect. I'm certainly not baiting anyone for anything deep, dark, or demonic. But I'm serious. You fucking know there's something in you, man. Light that fire up. Light that shit up. If you can't do it, no worries. We've got some kindling. Come over, let us help you. Let's. Let's fucking. Let's spark it up. Put some leaves on. Chuck some little Lucifers unders, those little white blocks. They're amazing. Let's get it firing. Let's get it cranking. Let's blow a little bit on it. Get some oxygen, get some carbon dioxide. Let's get it going. You have that inside of you. It's very hard, yo. It's hard to do, too. You can do it. You can do it at a reasonable rate. You can do two things pretty well. Family and self. Self and service. Family and service. Most people will do that. They'll do service with a bit of family, which means their body gets torn to shit. But all three, hard but achievable. Absolutely achievable. I promise you that. Who's Big Al? Big Red used to call me? I'm a continuation of this message that we continually evolve and become in itself and a part of that. The end. What drives me, the continuation of this message and the evolution of what we've become a part of and continually express. Because it's amazing, man. I promise you that. It really is phenomenal. It's so rewarding. I still have tough days. Today's a tough day. I still get punched in the face. We all do but it's, you know, it's so worth it. Like family, self and service. You will be laying on your deathbed one day. Maybe you'll die in your sleep and you won't know that's your last sleep. Who knows? But the time will come. There will be a time. One day, the time will arrive. The question ask ourselves before that time arrives is actually in the present, in the now. Am I ready to arrive? Will I finally arrive here and now and cut the shit that doesn't serve me? Stand up and start moving forward towards the possibility and opportunity to make it a probability and make it not only a beautiful experience for everyone that I love and care about, that's a part of my life, but make it me, make it my own. Make it my legacy. Make it our legacy. Make it the legacy. Make it the pathway from which on my shoulders, my children stand, seeing further, reaching higher to create a legacy of their own. Because that's the game, gentlemen. That's who I am. That's what drives me. A 500 year life. Not 50, 70, 80, 94. I'm going to be here for 500 years. My body won't be, but the essence, the message, the energy. It's all it is. Words, feelings, actions, all that shit. It's just energy. But the type of energy that's going to live long and live on through others. Family or not, bloodbound or not, they never ever met me. And that's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this episode and got some golden nuggets with possibly one or two aha moments as well. If you truly loved and enjoyed what you listen to, then I want to invite you to share this episode with someone who you know needs to hear this. It could be your brother, friends, colleagues, your uncle, even your wife. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that none of us are alone in the hardships we face. But the solution to getting back on top, winning can start with a gift from someone else. And that gift could be an episode like this. Because another man transformed is another family safe. Which is exactly what we're all about, thriving and winning in life. There is no alternative. It's possible. It has been done. It can be done, so it should be done. I appreciate your support in spreading this message. Cheers, mate.