182. Control Your Triggers Once And For All

This episode is brought to you by our high performance Father coaching program where we help men juggle business, marriage and fatherhood to create the greatest balance and impact life has to offer. This is done with our philosophy that is at the core of achieving these phenomenal results in family, self and service and that is investing in yourself first so you can be a true 100% for yourself, but just as importantly for those around you that you love and care about. If you're a father struggling with choosing between your work work and your family, lacking balance and connection in your relationship, what your children need, your own needs whilst building prosperity in your business, head over to highperformancefather.com fill out the form and I'll have my coaches contact you to see how we can help you and if you're a good fit, what it looks like to join the winner's circle on the inside. But for now, take the time to yourself for yourself and enjoy this episode. Foreign. Welcome to a very special, very special podcast that is going to absolutely change your life. Why? Because of triggers and the way that they control us and how I'm going to help you and show you how you can control your triggers once and for all. This is a. This is a very important podcast for the simple reason that these triggers that we all have, you have them, I have them, everyone has them. These triggers are what leads to you not expressing your true self. It's what leads to others defining or labeling you as a specific person that you know deep down you are not. It leads to you having regret, possibly guilt and shame after the fact in looking back and going, fuck me dead man. Why did I do that? How did that happen? What is going on here? I have no control. Yet. Ironically and funnily enough, the greatest way that you sought control because you didn't have it was to explode with your emotions. It's an immediate return on investment. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Let's fucking pump this out. So I feel significance again, whether it's my voice yelling, screaming what I believe to be power or control inside of myself because I don't have a grip or control in life itself. Now, that's not true. You know that's not true. But maybe for that situation, maybe for that circumstance, you feel that way and you let your feelings dictate the next course of action. You let your feelings dictate what the facts will become when they're facts upon reflection that you don't actually agree with. They're facts upon reflecting that you're like, wow, yeah, I shouldn't have blown my stack at the kids, shouldn't have got short with the wife, shouldn't have made that bad call at work. But here we are. Control your triggers once and for all. Just. Just to be clear here, triggers aren't bad. In fact, if you learn how to control them, every type of trigger is fucking great. Because it's a sign. It's symbolism. Almost to the point where you're like, I know exactly what this is bringing out in me. I can adjust, tweak, change, or maintain. If it's a good trigger, you can have a good trigger as well. They're not all bad, but essentially the ones that you deem to be bad or punishing, or the triggers inside of your life that you don't like, you only don't like them because when you look upon the outcome after the fact, you're not happy with that outcome, but you can use that. Just like I'm blessed for many people in my life who've shown me what to do, they've also shown me what not to do and told me valuable lessons in areas of life that I should not conduct myself and I should not carry myself forward in the way that they do. And some of them have been close friends and family. One of the greatest gifts, right? And I'm not claiming to be perfect by any means. My children will adopt the same. Thank you, dad, for showing me how to think and certain things that I can do, and also what I shouldn't do and what I can focus on instead, or what can I improve, or what I can improve, what I can evolve with inside of myself and my family, this is life. My two daughters, what kind of man are they looking for? My son, what kind of man do I aspire to be? And picking the pieces out on a great foundation of love and leadership that he can apply to his own life. So please understand this. When you don't like the trigger, it's because you don't like the outcome. And the outcome is a byproduct of you not having control and getting your shit together. Because if the outcome is something you don't like, including people you can't control or people, places and things that you don't have control over, why are you getting upset? Like, one of our videos just clicked over 2 million views, 3,000 comments. And we've got a large support base, but obviously there's a lot of men throwing stones and it's like, well, how can I take that personally? They don't know Who I am. How can I let that trigger me? Of course I can't. I won't. It's not fair. It's not right. It's actually not right or not fair for me to allow something like that to trigger me. So when you have control of yourself and how you perceive things, the state that you put yourself in, the actions that you follow there from after, the state that you put yourself in, from the perceptions you're adopting and things you can or can't control, you start to get a different set of eyes. You start to control your triggers, which means the good ones don't disappear. There are great triggers you can have as well, like the alarm going off, like you're putting your shoes on your pre workout. You know, I love Mojo. I ran out of Mojo the other day in the office here. Now I've got my tub back, thank God. It's. I love our supplements. Honestly do. It's. It's insane. Like the, the Mojo on the Knight Rider. I've been training for 22 years now, and I've tried all types of different pre workouts, post workouts, all that sort of stuff. And, you know, all the standard shit you see in supplement stores, nothing comes close to this stuff. It's incredible. But that's a trigger for me. I wake up. Hours morning routine is water, air, blood, blessings and connection. What does that mean? As soon as I get up, I hydrate. I haven't drank for six to eight hours. When I hydrate, I pop some mojo in. That's just, that's a given for me. So I hydrate, I get water in, then air. I do my breath work, my breathing exercises. 2 to 4 minutes. Bang. Primes me for the day. I'm fucking ready to rock and roll. And then blood. Get a blood flow going. Could be a few sets of push ups, Sit up squats and whatnot. Could just be some stretching. Could be some dynamic hip mobility and lower back work, some thoracic mobility. So that's your upper back, which means rotational work, you know, remove some of the blockers in the spine. With my posture, with my head and my neck, so I can get my body charging, get those neural pathways locked into my body and mind. Ah, blessings. Well, shit, man. I mean, whether I'm with my family or not, I'm not because I'm recording this early this morning. But I'm like, man, I'm so happy to be alive. I really am. I've had friends from 16 to 48 commit suicide, right? I'm just blessed that I'M here and I've got an amazing tribe around me and I've got a great family with the good, the bad and the ugly. We are together, we are tight, we're one. So when I go through that, I then start to look okay, how can I connect and start to build connection, Connection to myself, connection to life, connection to my family. All of these have little triggers inside of them and go, bang. That's the next one. Bang. That's the next action. That's the next action. That's the next. Triggers exist everywhere. Like, like they're everywhere. Remember Dave Lee? He's a great, great man. He came and he was one of our special guests at Kosciuszko. I did a podcast with him. David doesn't quit dead EQ might be episode 121, maybe thereabouts. And Dave is talking about they actually measured the present moment, and the present moment's been measured as three seconds. That's a lot of present moments. You have a lot of presence every single day. If we're looking at a thousand minutes a day, upon wake up, he times out a thousand minutes by obviously 60 seconds per minute, we're. Which means you've got 60,000 seconds. Divide that by three. You've got 20,000 present moments a day awake. That's pretty crazy. So many triggers that you're aware and not aware of exist in your life every single day. So how do you control them? Well, firstly, the ones that you truly don't control. And I say truly, because you can't be a fucking liar and say, I didn't know I was in that. And then after I look back when, oh shit, I just didn't even know that I. I was triggered. No, no, you're lazy. You're lacking the awareness there. Hang on a minute. Am I the only human being on earth? Or is what's happening involving or affecting someone else? So you can bullshit your family, you can bullshit your friends, you can bullshit me, but don't lie to yourself because you will burn the most true subconscious triggers. True ones happen actively anyway. In the 9% of life, which is active awareness in what you're building, in the recording of a subconscious mind. 91%, 91% of life is autonomous. So what you're actively doing anyway, whether you believe you're aware or not, in that 9% of life is recording or re recording the triggers, the patterns, the habits inside of your head. That's why I talk too fast. I've had that before. Al speaks. He speaks really fast. A lot of words. That's all I fucking live and breathe, man. I don't train mums, I don't train kids. Like, all I live and breathe in, the embodiment of being a father myself, is working with fathers and thousands of fathers now over the years in the message that's true for them, the language, the terminology that's true for them, the pathway and the learning from them, what they've done, how they've applied themselves, what's worked, what hasn't worked, what's helped us evolve. Like, it's all I live and breathe. So a lot of the times when I'm bridging sentences and conversations flow, it's because most of that stuff is happening autonomously. But what I'm doing with the 9% of this power is I'm compartmentalizing but charging certain areas like a massive library that I'm going, and I'm pulling this book out and this book out and this book out. And I'm bringing relevance to pulling out the right content material for you to be able to connect the dots. So I'll try and slow down a little bit sometimes, but this is why you see, like I do live videos, my videos are one take. It's like, this is true. Just like yourself, there's many subconscious triggers that may or may not be serving you. But when you go to the helm, the depths of who you are as a man, the who you are and what you do and how you do it, is still an active part of what you choose to to do, what you choose to involve yourself with, what you choose to invest in, in the 9% that makes the difference of every single human being's life on this planet. Isn't that crazy? So controlling your triggers once and for all is a phenomenal opportunity that you and I have here. Because that's what this is about. This is remembrance from me. Like, I know this and apply this all the time, but I'm not a know it all. I need to remember, just because you know something doesn't mean you're actually executing on it. We all need to bring the important things back up to the surface so we know how, when and where to apply our principles, our strategies, our tactics and reinforce that with our values, with our integrity. To go. Yes, I'm 84% in the win zone today. I'm 93%. I'm 64. Pick my shit up, I'm 97. Just because you know it or you've done it doesn't mean you're going to keep doing. Really doesn't Winning is easy, gentlemen. Winning is easy. Consistency is hard, consistency is the game. You get good at being consistent, you'll get good at winning, I promise you that. So when it comes to controlling your triggers once and for all, the problem is they control you most of the time. And you allow that because you believe it's almost like this hidden deal. It's almost like the golden handcuffs. But the gold represents physical, mental and emotional control that you believe you get back by forgiving or foregoing your control in being aware and a leader across all facets of your life for that situation. What I mean by that is you allow your triggers to control you, but it's not the true you, it's not who you really are. And you know that, but you allow them to control you. Like I said, it's like the golden handcuffs. You give up that power and you're like, I'm going to let you control me because you believe you get something back. What's that something back? It's that immediate return on investment, whether it's physical, punching a hole through the fucking wall, whether it's mental or emotional. So the words, the speaking the loud, the different types of emotions, with your anger, with your rage, jealousy, like they can all manifest and become something that is not wholesome. Love can become possession, you know, grief can become depression and deep sorrow. You've got to be careful of some of these things that are naturally part of what makes us human and makes life. Life getting a stronghold on you from which that becomes your crutch or a drug in itself, especially because of the chemical releases and how it operates and how you feel significance again, how you feel you get your power back again by just fucking blowing up with your rage and with your emotions. You think that you get control back by going for the kill. You're killing the goose for the golden eggs, man. You won't get anymore one day, that goose. Once you finally go for the kill and blow or go for the final blow, it's done. You won't get any more golden eggs. The biggest problem here is when you don't have control over your triggers and they control you, your immediate reaction, two sides of the same coin, is to then go back and go, well, I'm going to get this power back. And the way that I get it back is by burning everything to the ground is by blowing my stack and going, now this is how I get control back immediately. My words, my actions, my feelings, Bang. I feel important again. How many of you guys are resonating with this? Where can you feel or see that this is applied in your life? Because I know it has plenty of times. Not that much. In the last six months, though. It's something I've definitely honed in on and really polished because guess whose eyes are watching. I don't care how old your kids are. It's really funny. One of my wife's friends was like, you know, talking about children. She doesn't have children yet. She's talking about children, blah, blah. It's such a big thing. And, you know, it's different to a pet, you know, because it's. It's 18 years. And obviously no fault of her own. She. She doesn't know. And look at. My kids aren't 18. But Corinne just laughed. She said, no, no, hang on, hang on a minute. They're not 18. Like, it's not. Once they turn 18, you just. The. Off you go, well, you know, welcome to the big wide world and good luck. My kids aren't 18, and I already know that's not the case. Your kids are with you hopefully for the rest of your life, but they are with you as a life investment. And when I say hopefully for the rest of your life, it's, you know, it's obviously a hard thing when loss is suffered. When you see, and you're older, you see the potential that your children can have in life. So it would be an absolutely challenging and horrific thing to see and credit to those parents who have suffered loss in that area and they've had the resilience to stand back up and appreciate their other children or appreciate the gift that life really is, because that would be very tough. But essentially, this is a lifelong investment. Lifelong investment. So when I'm looking at my triggers with my children so young and they're, you know, they're going to be moving through, life goes pretty quick. I'm looking at this and the seeds that I'm planting through the environment of theirs, which I heavily influence and control and the power that I express, not so much through the raising of my voice or my physical presence, but the entire aura of who I am, my energy, and how I carry myself emotionally, physically, mentally. It's a very powerful responsibility that we all have, gentlemen. So when you go for the kill just to make yourself fucking feel better for a couple of minutes at the cost of your children's environment, make sure you be cautious on how many times you do that, what that's actually going to equal as you move through life. And you think you can play the same car, but all of a sudden they get a bit older, and guess what? They don't look up to you anymore. They don't pay attention to you anymore. They don't respect you anymore. Wonder why you go all the way back to the source and you see the pattern that you built, which eventually, when they've wisened up to, or maybe not, and they follow the same course, which means there's even more collision. But unfortunately, this is a trait that you haven't killed off, adapted, evolved and transformed to the next generation, which becomes the standard. There's a breakdown nonetheless, please remember, with all these episodes, I don't judge you for it, man. Like, I mean, 8 billion people, fair to say there's probably a lot of parents out there who are doing great, who are doing poor, who are doing somewhere in between. That's all relevant to perspective. But the perspective that I observed from and through is an observation of action and energy and observing the energy and whether this energy is wholesome, true and genuine. One of a leadership format, one of an evolution instead of a destruction, decay, or removal of one's opportunity, our children's opportunity to grow and become more. And that's a hard thing to witness. When I was playing with the Panthers and I was working my way through the grades and doing teachers aid work in Mount Druitt, it was really hard. There'd be kids would be sent to school. The parents would be like, fuck me, dead, man. These parents would be punching cones and shit. The morning they're dropping their kids off to school, the kids would have no food. They wonder why they're wired or they're behaving poorly or misbehaving or destructive. They haven't even had any food. They haven't even eaten breakfast as soon as we get them in. And they love me because, one, I was a man. Two, I was a large man who was great at sport. And three, our approach was, okay, let's come in. We'll come into the canteen, we're going to feed you and give you breakfast. Then we're going to sit down and do some work. You're going to be triggered on a couple of key things. No, it's okay, mate. Let me be stable for you. Let me provide that stability, that rock that you need that you don't have inside of your household. Let's sit down. One of his name, one of the boys that I used to work with, his name was Zeke. Well, Zeke, it's all good, man. It's all right. Let's sit down. Let's work through this. And he was Crazy smart. It was crazy when we got a good rhythm of him eating food, of us working with him, of us playing sport and getting the outlet. It was insane. Even the natural love and nature that he started to show towards kids, instead of pushing and hitting and biting them. He was such a cool kid, man. Like, it was. It was mind blowing. He went to the top of the class. I couldn't play. It was incredible. It was really incredible. That was a long time ago. I don't know where Zeke is now. This is the hard part when it comes to consistent environment, right? And all of this comes from triggers. So before we dive into two things, that's all it is, two things. And you will control your triggers once and for all. Before we dive into that, it's important to go upstream to the source and ask yourself a quality question. Maybe a couple. Why am I triggered? Why is this triggering me? What is it that I'm lacking? Because here's the thing. You can handle the shitstorms earlier in the day once you've gotten into the groove better than later in the day, right? Yep, true. Because you're tired, because you're drained. We all have that. That's why we all go to sleep. That's why we all go to bed. So why. Why are you triggered here and now? What is it? Is it the person? Is it the environment? Is it the pattern? It's the same thing. It's the same problem with cleaning the dinner table, with clothes in the washing basket, with cleaning the room, with talking a specific way, with the siblings fighting. Who do you think you are? Even though you're the parent in the household, to continually be the referee, like, they're on the same team. I was saying, this is one of my dads yesterday. I was like, it's really like. It's an interesting thing when the kids start fighting. It's like, well, hang on a minute. It'd be like, let's say, for example, rugby league. Not that I'm a great fan anymore, but. Well, the origin is still pretty. Pretty crazy to watch. But talk about origin, right? Let's say New South Wales versus Queensland. Imagine if a couple of the blues just started punching on with each other instead of New South Wales and Queensland punching on. Like, the ref would be confused. You'd be like, what the fuck's going on here? They're on the same team. Like, should I break that up? I didn't even know what I should do it. That's the way it would be at home. It's like, okay, yeah, I Get that? When there's. When there's obviously a cause for concern and damage or injury, of course you'd be stepping in. But essentially, if you're trying to referee every single bickering act, every single blow, every single fight, it'd be like, mate, you're fighting a losing battle and then you're trying to get immediate control over things instead of addressing the source of what's happening in their life to help them and guide and see them and be stable for them, to help them rejuvenate and repair what they need to do. It could be a 14 and 12 year old daughters that you have, like, you're on the same team. Keep reinforcing. This is something you need to figure out. This is something you need to take responsibility over. I'm not here to yell and scream and just go for the kill and burn everything to the ground. That's not fair on me as your father. This is what we need to do to establish an understanding that we're on the same team to help me help you understand your triggers. Because everyone has triggers. Romans, one and a half. He's got triggers, man. He's a Virgo. And regardless of how much you dive into star signs or not, he's fucking crazy. He's a crazy perfectionist. It's insane. Like, it's just. It's. It's uncanny. It's so funny. Like, on that. And funnily enough, I don't know a huge amount about it, but I've followed bits and pieces in the past. Lillian's an Aries and she's just stubborn. As, as, As a ram that just. Man doesn't give up. So stubborn. So stubborn. Stella's a Leo. And when you see the fire, it's real man. The lioness is in full swing. But for Roman, it's so funny to see his triggers. We put his shoes on and they got straps. They're not laces. Obviously, he's only one and a half. If that strap lifts up because he's got big feet, it only just clips onto the Velcro. He's screaming, kicking. We need that strap to go down. Just like when we dress him, he has to have this pair of shorts and, and not all the time, but it's just really funny. He just has little, little areas. Maybe that's something else. Fuck, who knows? But it's quite funny to see that we all have triggers. Your children have triggers. You have triggers. What's causing this? Where is there a lack of self control, a lack of discipline, a lack of willpower. Your energy is down, your energy is low because that's exactly what causes it. Which means that's the first solution. When you have a low or empty gas tank, you cannot perform. You've got nothing left to give. You are going for the path of least resistance. You're going for the low hanging fruit. But in this situation, when it comes from a position of depletion, you're in trouble. That's risky. I talk about this on our program all the time. We go for the path of least resistance, but that's us with coaches rejuvenated, charge, energized to serve you, to give you what you need so that you can have the set of eyes, you can have the course to victory. When it's happening inside of yourself or the household, you've got to ask yourself the question, why am I triggered with this? What's happening? What's causing this? Is it the time of day? Why am I depleted? Like, what is it that's draining me inside of my life? What is it that's draining my energy level so I can't perform when I get home? Is it your work? Is it a poor transition from the car into the household? Are you still on the phone taking calls? Are you bringing shit through the door that you should be leaving? Doesn't mean you don't talk to your wife about your business or work. But essentially, what kind of energy are you bringing or dragging in through into the household? You need to ask yourself these questions. What is draining or stimulating you? Like, you think scrolling your social media or looking at jokes or laughing and all these other bits and pieces, and I love laughing. We do dad joke Fridays. But you think stimulating your brain in a place that creates a bit of a self lobotomy, where you just zoned out. It's just an escape, just zombie mode. Same with television, same with technology, scrolling social media. Same with anything. Drugs, alcohol, pornography, all these different things, they're draining whether you feel it physically or not. They are mentally draining or mentally stimulating, which is draining because that's taking energy, your life for that day, which means you're saying yes to that. How could you possibly say yes to maintaining stability in the household or in yourself or your own life or your own triggers? It's hard, isn't it? You're just going for the kill, which means you're not owning the facts and the truth of your life. You're looking for the flashy object, you're looking for the instant gratification. You're looking for something that gives you that feeling, that chemical release, that instant feeling of importance, of significance to say, yes, I feel better now. I feel good. I don't have any deep meaning today, so I'm just going to fucking twist the ears off to it and watch some girl getting slayed for fucking 10 minutes, and then that'll do me. Like I said, this isn't judgment, man. This is observation. This is the stuff that I was going through in my life as well. So I said, no, no, no, enough is enough. Like, I don't. When I'm saying yes to that, I'm saying no to something else. What I'm allowing this trigger to maintain is no longer a trigger. It's a part of my life. It's a habit. Triggers lead into habits, but it's almost like the trigger dissolves. It's just a given. Like, this is just what I do now. This is. This is what I do with alcohol or this time of day, or this with my body, or this when the kids do that. It's not great, man. I don't judge you for it. This is an observation of energy and outcomes. It's not great because of the possibilities of what can be. But maybe it's great for you because you've come from ground zero and you're at level one and you don't even worry about level 10. You already have given yourself limiting beliefs to go, no, no, that's not possible. Impossible. Can't do that. Can't have that. I'll tell you right now, like, there's always a choice. And I've had plenty of friends, low socioeconomic statuses, different areas, different demographics, different races. We're like, nah, man, this is what. This is what it is for so many people. I get that. But the one sharing this with me is intelligent enough to look at. I mean, fuck, man, even if you looked at YouTube to look at different free educational resources, there is an unbelievable amount out there these days for you to be able to start to shift your perspective and with just the phone alone, to have opportunities to create change in your life, whether it's through your career, your business relationships, all of the above. There are so many different ways you can educate yourself. Audio books, buying a book like it's. If you're listening to this now, you definitely do not fall into that category, man. I don't care how much money you have or don't have, what your position is with your relationship with yourself, your health, your body, if you have access to this podcast, you have access to change. You have a choice to change. You have the opportunity to create different triggers, to control your triggers, to remove some, to bring better ones in, to bring ones in the serve you, to leverage the ones that aren't serving you around. To get control back again. To observe yourself, to zoom out in third person and go, fucking hell. That's how. That's how Al operates. Hey, if your name was Al, let's say your name's Matt. For Matt to zoom out and go, shit. That's what Matt looks like when this happens. This is what Matt looks like at this time of day. Because you can do that. You think your thoughts and your feelings, your emotion will come from your brains. I don't give a fuck what neuroscientist and neuroplasticity and all the different books I've read around this stuff. Say, that's coming from a perspective of your eyeballs. To look in the mirror and go, that's where my brain is. How the fuck do you know that's just what your eyes are telling you now, before we dive into something like the Matrix, to say, okay, well, this isn't the world, Al. It's just a simulation. Stay with me here. What I'm talking about is your consciousness, your awareness, to be able to zoom out and literally observe yourself in third person. Whether you believe that's coming from the brain or not. Symbolically, you can remove yourself from the bullshit you keep buying into and go, hmm, okay. Why is that happening? Okay. I respond this way when this happens. I respond that way when that happens. Okay, that makes sense. I can see why this is the case. Okay. I can see that this is draining me. Yeah. I can actually see that. If I'm checking my screen time and I'm like, okay, well, I'm spending 42 hours a week on social media. I can go to the settings and I can look at my screen time. That's a long time. Can't be right. Well, it is, because when you break that down, all you need to do. Let's look at this right, Even if you're spending, let's say, 30 hours a week on screen time, let's make it 28 hours a week, nice and easy. Four hours a day, seven days a week. Four hours a day. Let's say you're awake for 16 hours. That means 15 minutes an hour. That means every. So if we're looking at 15 minutes an hour, that's all you need to do on scrolling, which means, let's break. Okay, let's break that down again. That means every 10 minutes, right? 10 times 6 is an hour. So let's divide it by 6. Every 10 minutes when you work, you stop and you scroll your phone for two and a half minutes. That's pretty achievable, isn't it? That goes very quickly. Every 10 minutes. If every 10 minutes out, I stop and I check my phone for two and a half minutes, that means I'm checking my phone for 15 minutes an hour. That means I'm checking my phone four hours a day. That means 28 hours a week, one and a bit days, or essentially two days awake. 14 hours. 14 hours, just about. You are losing your life to technology. Now, I get that. I do live videos, I use technology and I leverage it for our message, for helping fathers, for brand building, for everything. But I certainly don't use it to sedate and distract myself for the reasons that are pulling me away. Now it's something that even I need to check myself on and make sure. Well, hang on, don't justify it. Don't create excuses. What am I going to do about it? Well, I'm going to delete all my social media from Friday through till Monday morning. Fantastic. So I don't need to worry about it because I know it's. If you do this, man, I'm telling you, subconsciously build your brain to go, all right, switch off, I need to download it on my phone. I can't be bothered. I'm not even going to do that. Like, be lazy where you don't want, not where you don't want to be. Be lazy where the outcome doesn't have your best interest at heart. That's when you should be lazy. I can't be fucked downloading that and putting my password in again. When you do this, I'm telling you, man, it really helps. So getting back to triggers when you can zoom out, My point is you can zoom out into third person view on yourself and go, ah, I'm now becoming more aware of what's draining me, what's stimulating me. And then why am I doing that? Why do I believe that's a good thing? Okay, why is that a good thing? Where did that belief come from? Does that belief need to stay? Is that belief true? I just go a million miles an hour and this is it. That's just all I do, Al. I can't focus on anything else. Okay, well, that's because you've just fucking accepted that you can change. Anyone can change. I don't know how to change it. Well, it's because you haven't asked the question or tried I have tried. Have you? Have you tried 150 times? Have you tried 3,000 times? You'll pursue something if it's worth it to you, physically, mentally and emotionally, until it's done, until you achieve it, until it becomes your standard. Yet with other things, as soon as there's some resistance, you stop. Why? Because you haven't justified to yourself. You haven't raised your beliefs, you haven't raised your standards, you haven't raised your level of operating to a point where you have chosen that to be a non negotiable. This is how you control your triggers once and for all. Because you and I both know it's not the true you, the ones that you don't like anyway. When they're controlling you physically, mentally, emotionally, your energy is drained. You don't have self control, you don't have discipline. And look, you only need that for a little bit. You don't have to live a life of discipline and self control in one key area. When you do it long enough, it's done. It's part of your identity, which means it's your belief system and it's a habit, which means things like willpower, all of that. Yes, it might diminish, it might go up and down, up and down every day, but essentially it's coming from a bigger gas tank, physically, mentally and emotionally. So what you believe when you're an absolute titan in the way that you operate day in, day out, what you believe to be an empty or a low tank upon reflecting three months ago, three years ago, is almost like four tanks worth of how you used to operate. That's a good thing. There's nothing wrong with that. I get tired, I get triggered. But the value here is not in removing a trigger. That's why I said controlling triggers, not removing triggers. The value here is the space, so the time, the energy you have to handle what's happening, the skills you have to apply what will happen next to respond, create or recreate what will flow on from what it is that's triggering you. That's the difference, man. You will react instinctively, you will react subconsciously. Reactions will never disappear. You will always have reactions. But are the reactions seen or they simply felt like a little whoop and then they're gone? Like when I jump on, I see my newsfeed. Not anymore, but when I jump on I see my newsfeed with my, with my ads and someone would just be abusing me. I used to get that feeling like that butterfly is like I was about to get in a fucking Punch on. I was like, all right, game on here. I mean that with respect. I'm not saying I want to punch off with every bloke. I don't believe, I don't believe violence is the answer. The, the rage in Al is not a good rage for anyone, mostly myself. I'm not saying I'm some fucking MMA fighter, but it's not good. So essentially when I get that feeling, I would still just go, okay, yeah, but that's, that's just your reactions, Al. That's not true. That's just you in the mode of, you know, fight or flight. And that's something that's been ingrained in you as a barbarian with rugby league and, and sports and applying that even to CrossFit where I bring out the animal. Like I talk to myself. I'm like, animal man. Like, you're going to dominate this, this, this and that. So it's just a tapping into, to get that primal power. So when I used to read something like that, when people are abusing me, I'd get that little feeling, but I wouldn't act on it. So my body would react to the senses, the sensory perceptions, my eyes and then my head and my heart would start building this chemical formulation and go, all right, well this is what normally happens. And I'm like, well, no, it doesn't have to happen now to the point where it's very, very dull and most of the time non existent anymore. But you're always going to have reactions. So it might not be existent here, but it could be someone up in the street coming up to me and having a go. So you're always going to have reactions, but what you're doing with energy and skills over the course of time is you're going to connect the way that you want to. It's a very powerful formula that we've created. It is the powerful life energy. How much do you have skills, skill set? Like, what are you doing with that energy over time? What is the course of time? Short, medium, and long, Too long, too little. What are you leveraging your energy and your skill sets in the passage of time, of life to create, which equals connection. Poor, great, ugly, bad, long lasting, limited, deep, personal, social. You're always going to have reactions, man. But don't let the reactions dictate the truth that will become what the experience becomes for yourself and everyone else that you love and care about. Two points. This is how, man, this is powerful. This is how you control your triggers once and for all. And look, a lot of this has Been layered. A lot of this has been layered into our philosophy, what we do, how we operate, how everything works. A lot of this is laid into it, but this is going to make it very crystal clear for you to start taking action on right away. Two steps, two points to controlling your triggers once and for all. Step one, Fill the tank. Fill the tank. Fill your physical, mental and emotional gas tank so you have more power, more energy, physically, mentally and emotionally, more endurance, more stamina, more agility, more adaptability, which equals a greater skill set to innovate, to overcome, to evolve what's presented before you, in front of you, inside of you, and to take the true course of who the true version is of who it is that you are now and who it is that you choose to continually become. Filling the tank. We're going to work backwards. We're going to start with emotional, then mental, then physical. Filling your emotional tank. Nature, I cannot stress this enough. Get out in nature, man. You owe it to yourself. It's such an important thing. Get out in nature. Immerse yourself with the right energies. So that does include your environment too. Like, the emotional power inside our HPF tribe is ridiculous. Like it's. You can't even put, like, even the guys, not that we sell and we definitely don't paint rainbows and smiles with our consults, but even when the guys take their step, they're like, holy fuck, I'm just blown away by this, man. And I'm proud of that. Not because of me, but because of we. Nature and your environment. You must tap into and invest in that. It's got to be at least 50, 50, like at least three days a week, you know, 40, 60, if there's seven days of the week, but at least three days a week, man. You must invest in nature and the right environment to submit and open up and just breathe and build a better emotional state and connection to life and what you're spending time on. Which then carries me through to gratitude and blessings. It's part of my morning routine. Water, air, blood, blessings and connection. But guess what? Whilst I'm drinking, whilst I'm breathing, whilst I'm getting blood flow, I'm appreciating those processes because what they give me. So it's hard because of how commercialized it's become, the word gratitude and the practice of gratitude. But this really is about you not just writing down on 2A4 pages what you're happy for in life and you're grateful for in life. It's going, man, I, I know when I Do my breath work? Fuck, I feel primed. My spine feels great. I've done some stretching, some mobility. I'm hydrating my body, I'm energized, I'm charged for the day. Like I'm ready, man. Today's the day I'm good to go. That is gratitude. That is a form of having blessings in your life. Like an appreciating. Without water, you're dead. Without oxygen, you're dead a few minutes. Few minutes without oxygen for most people, they're gone, done, see you later. Don't get blood flow, you're dying, you're not performing the way that you can not show any gratitude. So no blessings and then connections, the final piece of my five step morning ritual. No blessings, no connection. Well, you are dead. Like you're already dying. You're already dead if you can't look for the great in life and if you're not connected to life, you're already fucking dead, mate. You just haven't been buried yet. So emotional. Fill the tank. This is how you control your triggers. Once and for all nature. Gratitude and blessings, true and genuine for you. In our journal we've got a couple of lines at the top, a couple of lines at the bottom. And then setting the stage for how you'll win the day. These are all different types psychologically, for men as hunter gatherers, pulling these levers on, tapping into your emotional state comes down to expressing, declaring and then doing, which is the final one. Connect and experience. If you're experiencing life, sometimes you don't have to think or feel, you can just go. But a lot of the times there's an underlying foundation of the emotions that drive that. The emotions that help you understand the value of what it is that you're doing. Connect and experience. And then chemically that releases oxytocin. That's a love hormone. You are connected to life. So if you're doing it with your family, you're connected. Fishing with the kids, mobility and stretching with the kids. Every morning I came to work early today, but every morning when I do my water, air, blood, blessings and connection, I'm doing that in the garage with the music on. So the kids hear it, they come running into daddy's gym. They call it, it's Mummy and Daddy's gym, but it's their gym. They come running into the gym so they start doing exercise and training. It's fantastic, man. Like nothing gets my I oxytocin pumping through my veins more than seeing my children adopt a standard. That is the standard for Them. Not just sit in the. Not just sit in front of the fucking television and just be sedated. What a way to start the day. You're kidding, aren't you? It's hard though, Al. I'm not a morning person and it's hard to get the kids going and it's crazy. Sort your shit out. Become a morning person. Don't just go for the kill and put your kids in front of the television. It's called a program for a reason. Television program, TV program. You're letting something else fucking program your kids. Are you really happy with that? That's probably another episode, but fuck me, dead man. There is no way, especially in today's world, that I'm letting the idiot box raise my children. Fill the tank emotionally Connect and experience nature. Blessings, Gratitude Mental Fill the mental gas tank Learning this Podcast Audio books Reading books Find something. It's hard. Like find something that it can be hard. Could be fantasy, it could be real. Find something though, that you want to improve. I want to get better at focus. Awesome. Get the One Thing by Gary Keller or Free to Focus by Michael Hyatt. I want to connect better in relationship. Well, learn how to speak the right language. Gary Chapman 5 love languages like something you want to improve at, which means you're going to be invested, which means you're going to be driven and naturally motivated. It's really hard for me to read books if there's not something that I want to get out of it. Doesn't mean I won't get something out of it. But if you're not invested, you're not going to invest. One of the greatest books. The greatest book still number one for me, that's changed my life more than anything else. Philosophy slash, I look at as really perspective builder. Biocentrism by Robert Lanza. That's just man, that guy's next level. So mental Build your mental gas tank. But then that's equalized or met with the other side of this coin of investing yourself and building the mental gas tank to not letting it drain so quickly. So no sedation, no distraction, drugs, alcohol, television, technology. Stop giving away your power and your energy to things that you need to put that parent energy into something else that's organic. So instead of scrolling, you don't even know that. You're just sedated and distracted and you're losing three hours, four hours a day on Facebook. Instead of losing that mental acuity and constantly tapping into dopamine and those little hits to keep you going, save that energy for when the ShitStorm hits at 4:30 in the afternoon. So you can handle the children and lead them properly and stop being too invested and stretched. You're stretching yourself. Stop saying yes to everything. Say no to some things. There is a such thing as a good no. Good healthy no's. You could call it an optimistic no, a possibility no. Look, I can't do this for you right now, but I'm going to find someone who can give you the answer or I'm going to allocate some time here. Here. Or solution no's. Sorry, I think we call them give a solution no. If you're really that guilty or worried about judgment or not serving someone you somehow believe you should be serving, no worries if you do believe, and that's true, provide a solution no. There was a time when it was funny because I've got big arms and I can carry the kids, right? There's a time when every time I was near career with Roman, she'd just hand him off to me to the point where probably it would have been about a month ago, she just. All of a sudden I was in the kitchen, I was doing something and I turned around, she turned to me and started giving to me and I had something in my hand. I think I was cooking or cooking dinner. I said, no. I said, I can't grab him. She's like, oh. Like she didn't even know she's doing it. She just sort of snapped out and went, oh, sorry, yeah, I can't. I've got a plate full of food, meat I'm about to cook and I've got butter in my. I said that you're just about to give him to me because he's just used to palming him off onto me. And he loves, you know, he's a bit of a dad dude at the moment. He loves being with Mum too, but, you know, he's obsessed with me at the moment. But I was like, that's crazy. Crazy. Healthy nose. Fill the tank emotionally, mentally and physically. Do some walking train. Move your body, do something to get your physical health in order. Moving the body, your health and nutrition. Like, you don't have to become a scientist with this stuff, but shit, man. Look for some whole foods, try and have protein in every meal, have eggs, have a quality protein powder. The only one that I have is ours. We made it. We made our own. It's all natural. It's got like 6 grams of collagen in it. Fucking massive. Massive amount of collagen. You got hip or joint issues or knee Problem, you know, I've had nine operations, so I've got a bone and bone knee. Apart from Corinne getting jealous from the collagen, the massive dose I'm having of collagen every day for my skin looking good as well as our skincare cream. Yeah, I love it and it tastes amazing. And it's all natural. It's grass fed as well, the WPI portion. So I have that, I have eggs, I have meat, it's grass fed, I have chicken. Free range, hormone free. Like you need to value what it is that you're making one with your body, you really do. Doesn't mean I'm a saint, but I'm very high end when it comes to my expectations of what I'm going to put in my mouth and how I'm going to fuel my body at least 85 to 90% of the time, like that is. That's your fuel, man. I know some nutritionists, people out there don't like referring to food as fuel. And it's not as straightforward and black and white as calories in versus calories out. There are a lot of different moving parts to the type of calories, the ingredients, the products, not the food that you're having. But you got to do that, man. Like sometimes I love fasting, sometimes I don't and I eat. But essentially you gotta have high doses of protein. Everyone's protein deficient. It doesn't mean living on shakes either. The ass will be exploding. You gotta have some solids. So nutrition, physical, physically filling the tank, walking, training, nutrition, your sleep, you can't hack sleep, you cannot. When it's gone, it's gone. Like you can try and catch up, but essentially if you're sleeping four hours a day, five days a week, and then on the weekend you sleep for 12 to 14 hours on Saturday and Sunday. Has that made the five days that have already passed better? Of course it doesn't and it hasn't because in the past it's done. So pride yourself on your sleep and your routines. Obviously I have our night rider, but I really enjoy the nighttime tea that we have hit the sack because that really makes me like it. If sometimes. And you'd be the same, you're wired or you find it hard to unwind. And when I have the night rider and hit the sack, man, it's like I've been drugged. Well, essentially I have. Like, food's a drug, everything's a drug, Water's a drug, right? Don't drink water for three days. And then drink water and see how Your body responds everything. You are your own alchemist. But for the night routines, yeah, man, like you need to, to settle in. And whether it's true or not, I think for our circadian rhythms and how we're naturally wired as human beings, I do have a belief that every hour before midnight is worth two after when it comes to your sleep. So if I go to bed at 9, 30, 10 and wake up at 5, that's more valuable than going to bed at 11:30 and waking up at 9. When you work out the hours and the return on investment, on how you're waking up, the type of sleep, deep, light, remotional. The reason why physical is important is because everything you do physically affects you and how you feel mentally and emotionally. You tell me how you would feel mentally charged and emotionally connected. If you're walking and training and you're eating well, you're getting good sleep, you've got your morning and night routines. This is the hard part. When it comes to triggers, you don't have any control. Why? Because you're not racking up the wins. You got to get those fucking wins on the board, man. When you set your alarm, when you wake up, when you hydrate. So when I set my alarm and I wake up and I do water, air, blood, blessings, connection, and then I get my nutrition and then I start the day with work, with kids, with school drop off, I've already gotten 12, 13, 15 wins on the board. That's how I see it. You need to see it that way. Like, don't downplay the great stuff. There's enough shit in the world for you to not add to that pile. Don't downplay the great stuff. And the great stuff always comes from the little wins, the great achievements, the great stuff, the things that fill in your life, the stuff, all these little wins, recognize them, acknowledge them. I'm a winner. I'm consistent. I'm a winner. I am a winner. I won today. I'm winning right now. It's midday, I've racked up 37 wins. I am a winner. It's just what I do. I win. I don't know how to lose. Like this isn't a fake it till make it. You say that and then you reflect on the actions that make that true. Don't just say it if you're a liar. Yes, this is true. I won here, here and here. Yes, this is true. I won here, here and here. So everything you do physically affects you mentally, emotionally and how you feel. That's why it's a Powerful foundation. That's step one. Fill your tank. You do that and I promise you, man, you are 80% there. I'm just throwing a number out. But think about it symbolically, because that is everything that you're then going to take into the situation, which becomes the trigger. But then you've got to be smart, you've got to be tactical, you've got to be strategic. So maybe it's 80, 20, maybe it's 90, 10, maybe it is 50. 50. But who are you bringing to the triggering? Who are you bringing to the environment? That's why point one is fill the tank. Second step. Funnily enough, we do this so well outside of ourselves, but not inside of ourselves. Logic. You want to solve everyone else's problems because that means you don't have to worry about your own, right? Logic first, emotion second. This is critical. She pay attention here. This is critical. Fill the tank. Okay, I've got my gas tanks full out. It's full. Er, it's filled. It's depleting more slowly. It's depleting less. Good. Logic first, emotion second. Remember, you'll always react well. There's always reactions. They come in different types. Internally before you make it a reaction, externally before you make it reality. There's always space between that. There's an internal reaction. What's the external response? What's the external? Recreate. Recreate the environment, recreate the energy. Recreate the frame of the narrative of where this argument's going, where this environment's taking you, where this energy that's being expressed from others might be influencing you. You then re influence through love and leadership. Remember, that's our foundation. That's the underlay for some pretty fucking lush carpet that's gonna be laid out now. Fill the tank. Logic first, emotion second. The problem is when you do it in reverse order, like I said, you go for the kill to get what you think is control back. Emotion first. Oh, then I'll logically process it after the fact. Okay, what good's that doing if you haven't used that to learn for the next situation? The processing is a waste of time. Then just keep doing the same shit. Logic first, emotion second. You need to ask yourself the question, man, when this happens, which is why this is a strategy, this is a tactic. This is. I mean, look, filling the tank is a skill set. It's building habits, building routines and rituals, actions. But this really is a skill set. So don't beat yourself up if you don't get it perfect. But over time, you'll become very, very good. You become very polished. Like, I do this exceptionally well, to the point where Crin's surprised. She's surprised when I show my triggerings. Like, literally, it's quite funny. She looks at me funny, and then she sort of gets angry and upset with me to the point where it's actually quite funny. Because when the dust settles or when we finally calm down and we're working through something, whether it's the kids, whether it's us, anything else, I say to her, hang on, Corinne, please understand. Like, I'm pretty phenomenal at a lot of different areas of life, but I'm not fucking perfect. Like, I'm a human being as well. You might appear shocked or surprised that I blew my stack or I was triggered or allowed something to control me. But please understand, like, this happens once every three to six months. That's not bad. Like, I'm human, too. And when I look at this, the reason why I'm triggered is because, guess what? I didn't train these days. I didn't create spaces. So I know what the problem is. It just became a manifestation that eventually I blew my stack as well. Here we are. So. So it's really funny when Corinne. Well, and I'm serious, it's probably every three to six months. Like, I haven't. I haven't been triggered in probably six months now. In a way that's become detrimental. Of course, internally, we always have reactions. Like I said, it's really funny. Like, when that. When that has happened, she'll look at me, just bizarre. I'm like, I don't know what sort of godlike form that you might paint me in because I'm consistent in life, but I'm human too, man. That doesn't mean that there isn't the little points of bickering and whatnot, and I'm just a saint. But like, a proper triggering, yeah, rarely happens. It's a skill set. You can develop this too. Logic first, emotion second. So ask yourself the question here, man. As soon as you feel triggered, you feel it coming, you feel it rising. It's uplifting. You already know why that's the case. You've got poor energy. You haven't invested in yourself. You've got an empty tank. Something else you've invested in draining you. You're stretching yourself too thin. We've gone through that. We've gone through the problem. You know the source. That's why. You know why that. That is why it's happened. So go upstream and start sorting that shit out. But when it comes, because it will come again. When it comes, ask yourself the question. And you gotta be fast, man, don't get erratic or panic, but you have to be fast. You can't just sit there and when the trigger happens, go, hang on, just give me 10, I'll come back and see you. Some situations maybe, but more often than not, especially when you're engaging in dialogue, conversation or shits. Hit the fan. In the household, speed is not key, but it is a key component. Ask yourself, what's the desired solution for me and for them? What is the desired solution for them and for me? Like, as soon as that happens in the household, the kids aren't getting in the bath, they're yelling and screaming, Roman won't go to sleep, Corinne's getting okay. I'm like, alright, I can overpower everything and squash this immediately. And like a nuclear bomb going off, I can have complete silence. And what the. Go for the kill Al and just stop everything immediately, once. But hang on a minute, this includes them. They're important too. This is their life as well. So when shit hits the fan, you gotta, when there's a trigger, ask yourself, if it involves others, if it involves you, then just ask yourself, well, what's the desired solution for me? But let's pretend that this involves someone else. What's the desired solution for them and for me? And then break it down. What's the desired solution for them or for me? In one minute's time, in one hour, in one day and in one week. You don't have to go further. Don't go further. Don't paint this big vision. What do I want for them? The kids are getting upset. What do I want for them? In six months time, it's irrelevant. That'll look after itself. If you can sort your shit out, that doesn't blow over into a week long mode of silence, anger, resentment, bitterness, disconnect. Because it can last for that long. And some of you I know listening to this have had it last longer. That's because this has been a chronic buildup. What's the desired solution for them and for me? In one minute's time, in one hour, in one day and one week, you might not get the full sweep, it might not be a clean sweep, but you might get the one minute and one hour. And then in a day's time, when it happens again, you might get the one minute, the one hour, half a day. And then if it keeps happening, because this is a daily trigger, when the kids come home from school and they Want to watch a certain TV show, whatever it may be? One minute, one hour, One minute, one hour, one day, one week. What's the desired solution? Remember, logic first. You do this for others, do it for yourself. Now. What's the desired solution for them and for me in one minute's time from now? In one hour from now? It doesn't mean you're going to be able to save anyone or everyone or solve everyone's problem either. One day, one week. And sometimes the logic is emotion. Not on you, but. And your lack of control of your emotions, but emotional support for them. So don't confuse this with thinking that you're a builder and you just have to cut up, measure up the wood and cut and drill or screw in and fix up and put together the. No, no, no. Sometimes the logic first is emotional support, understanding and empathy and creating stability in a wholesome and calm manner that re stabilizes the environment. What's the desired solution for them and for me in one minute's time? What's the desired solution? In an hour, in a day, in a week so this doesn't blow over and become the big mushroom cloud that it doesn't need to be. All right? Why is that the desired solution? So logic first, emotion second. Why is this the desired solution for them that I can see as a leader? Because I've got a better set of eyes. And for me. So what's the desired solution for them and for me? And then emotional hook to validate the logical pathway. And the logical pathway is the desired solution. Okay, logic first. What do I believe is a solution? Right now, shortly, and tomorrow. Awesome. Why is that the case? I'm casting out my rod. I'm fishing now. What is the emotional hook? I can throw that line out there to validate the logical pathway. So why is this going to help them? Like, how are they going to feel? So everyone's going crazy, you're going crazy, your wife's going, all right, what's the solution? Why? Why is that going to lead to a better emotional state? What emotional state will that become? So instead of me getting angry and triggered and whatnot, if I can keep my cool, if I can understand their perspective. So let's say Krin's blowing up about something. All right? Corinne, I appreciate that. I understand that. I see where you're coming from. Look, please understand. I've had a big day, too. I'm tired. Let's make sure we're not fighting against each other. We're on the same team. But I want you to acknowledge I want you to know that I acknowledge and appreciate you sharing that. Let me help with the kids. I'll push back the client I needed to call. Six o'. Clock. I'll call them at eight o'. Clock. I hope you get the kids to sleep. And don't forget this weekend your parents are coming up. They're going to look after the kids for a couple of hours. We're going to go to the beach, we're going to hang out, we're going to relax and it'll be all good. I'm painting the picture of a logical solution that equals a better emotional pathway or state in the immediate and near future. Life is sales, man. Life is selling. Life is selling. It's negotiating, it's trading, it's trade offs. Always, always with yourself, with your family, those that you love and care about. Nothing changes when it comes to your triggers. Fill the tank first, logic first, emotion second. That's step two. Take the logical pathway. That doesn't mean you're cold or mute. I'm acknowledging and appreciating Corinne's environment, the stress. I've got the foresight and vision. Shit, man. She's had the kids all week at school holidays. Of course she's going to be tired. And I've had to work overtime because we're releasing a new program. Okay, cool. So I can see her source as well of what's led to this. I can see the source of what's going to lead to me handling this properly. So I'm proud of myself for that. I've got the emotional hook which is going to validate behaving in this way because guess what, things will improve. I'll support her. We've got some time to ourselves this weekend. Everything's going to take to turn around. Everything's going to change. This too shall pass. It's the emotional attachment and the logical pathway that will create the result that you desire where you can control your triggers. I can't stress this enough, man. And when you say yes to this, you say no to emotional anchors. They need to be cut. It's an anchor, it's keeping you in the same spot. You need to cut it, you need to cut it away. Cut the emotional anchor that keeps flooding into your life when you're triggered. First and foremost, that leads to the blowouts and explosions. Cut that away. Become the hunter gatherer, become the mathematician, become the problem solver. Intertwine that logic with the emotion for them, the emotion for you, the potential future, better emotional state for them, the potential future Better emotional state for you, the mental state for them, the mental state for you. What's the logical pathway that can lead to that? What's the emotional hook that I can use as leverage when I communicate that can help everyone understand this? Stella, sweetheart, like if you keep grabbing Lillian's toys but you say you had them first, even though she wants them back, does that mean that when Lillian grabs some of your toys and you want them back, you're okay for her to keep them? Well, no, they're my toys. Well, can you see here the problem? That when you grab something of hers but then she grabs something of yours, that it's not fair. It's the same thing, sweetheart. So when you're doing this, guess what? Because Lillian's younger than you, you're training her, you're teaching her, you're showing her what she can do back to you, which means what you're doing now means that you're not going to be happy when that happens to you. And that will happen sometime soon. It's happening right now. Can you see, honey, how maybe just because you've grabbed it first and it's Lillian's, you shouldn't just hold onto it the whole time. Is that something you want? Do you want to play with that baby doll? Or how about you come with daddy and we can do some arts and crafts? Or we've got special time because you've been a good girl and we're going to spend 10 minutes together. For those of you who haven't heard it before, special time. Shannon Branson got us onto it. He's a phenomenal man. He's the guy actually formulated our supplements. Special time is when it's just time out one on one with the kids, anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes. So it's short lived. So you can be engaged, you can be present and it's anything that they want to do. Obviously within reason. Like if it's 10 minutes, well, you know, we can't go down to the beach. It's at least a half an hour thing. So I say at the cellar we're going to have special time because guess what? Lillian goes to bed at 6:30. I'm laughing because on most days Lillian goes to bed between 6 and 11:30, depending on how crazy she becomes sometimes. But no, Lillian goes to bed at 6:30, which means, guess what, you go to bed at 7:30. So you've got a whole hour to play with that dollar. And we can have special time here. What do you think we should do? What do you want to do. What do you think the best thing is? Well, I want to keep this dog. I get that. And I understand that. But just understand, honey, that when Lillian does that to you, you should be happy. When she takes something of yours and you want it back, be happy and know that you can't get it back because you're doing the same, aren't you? You can see asking these questions from a place of stability, calm, logical, first, logical pathway to a better future. Habit, pattern, routine, process, outcome, emotional state for all of them. Not just your kids, your wife, yourself, everyone. And I feel very proud when that happens. Not because it's my win or result, because I've been the vessel or the reflection of the situation for Stella to process what a loving and leadership type fashion or action from where she's hit the fan can take her. Then she can choose. Will there be consequences? Sometimes, yes. Will that always come from me? No. She's got a pretty crazy younger sister to deal with. So this is the point, men, as we wrap this up, you can control your triggers. Some of them may never leave, some of them may never go. But you can control them once and for all. Fill the tank. When shit hits the fan, go with logic first. Use the logic as leverage to cast out that line, Throw that big fucking rod, cast that line out and get that emotional hook into what will become a better future physically, mentally, and emotionally for you and those involved. In one hour, in one day's time, in a minute's time, in a week's time. And make sure that emotional hook is a potential truth for all of you. It's not just fantasy. It's not manipulation, and it's also not the quick fix. It's a great, wholesome emotional hook that will validate your logical pathway, cut the emotional anchors which leads to you just blowing up, and move forward as a unit, as a whole, as a family, as an individual, as a father, as a husband, as a business owner, as a worker or colleague, as a member of society. Move forward. I didn't get, man, there's always going to be shit people on the road. When I say that, I mean poorly skilled in driving a vehicle. I get cut off all the time, just like you probably do. Why am I going to let someone who doesn't even know me control my actions? So what, I get to work three seconds later because there's a car's length between where I was and where I am? Come on. Like you know that. That's the catalyst if someone is triggering you from cutting you off or swerving in front of you. Like if some you need to go upstream and recognize that that is a non event. That's just the catalyst of you being so far gone and not filling the tank and not getting your shit together. When you do this, man, I promise you your life will turn around massively. And when you don't get a pack of post its, hopefully you only need one packet. And when you blow your stack upon reflecting and looking back and feeling sorry for yourself and guilty and then just forgetting it, write that down on a post it note, date it, time it, write the trigger, write how you responded and put that shit somewhere where you will see it every day. Put it on your fridge, put it on your computer screen, put it in your car, put it on your mirror. And when it happens again, do it again. And when it happens again, do it again. And all of a sudden when you can't even look at yourself in the mirror because you've got 35 post it notes on the glass, you then start to realize that, hey, maybe this is something I can turn around if I just focus on it a little bit more instead of just thinking about it after the fact, feeling emotions and then forgetting. Do that man, this is a powerful thing. But above all else, don't just do it and go, yeah, that's right, I did that. And dismiss it. Use that as a tool and leverage. Just like this episode, as a tool and leverage to turn it around. And make sure you're filling your cup first. Fill the tank. Apply logic. First cut the emotional anchors that you think are the answer when it makes you feel good for a minute but you know isn't the answer when you're reflecting. Ah, I dropped the ball there again. Stop dropping the ball. The conditions are good. It's not raining, you've got that sticky spray on your hands. Pay attention, man, and I promise you, you'll follow through. You'll control your triggers, which means you'll help lead and influence others to control theirs. Man, I'm cooked. That was a big episode. I hope you guys got some value out of it. I'm tired. I'm actually tired from this. I've just emptied my physical, mental and emotional gas tank because it's really important to me. It should be important for you, man. Think about the triggers, the transitions, the actions, the habits. This is what makes your life, man. It's what makes my life. It's what makes our life. It's what influences, heavily influences your children's life, which then becomes what they make in their life. Don't Take this for granted, but don't give up your power. This is absolutely achievable. Two steps. Control your triggers once and for all. Fill the tank. Fill the tank up. You might react internally, don't react externally. Apply logic. First do the post it notes and then practice. Post it note, practice. Post it note, practice. All of a sudden you start to cut down, like I said, the time. And you get faster, you get sharper. Like you want to be quick and witty and smart with your fucking jokes. And when you're talking shit with your mates, apply that same strategy towards this. You know, I'll be as witty and sharp and fast as the best of them. And the rest of them. Cool. That's good fun. I enjoy that. But this is a continual context in life where you can apply that skill set to being a phenomenal leader, love and leadership in the household, in yourself, in your own self worth and esteem. So that the triggers don't control you, you control them. What they mean to you and how you use them to turn things around and get back in front again. And that's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this episode and got some golden nuggets with possibly one or two aha moments as well. If you truly loved and enjoyed what you listened to, then I want to invite you to share this episode with someone who you know needs to hear this. It could be your brother, friends, colleagues, your uncle, even your wife. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that none of us are alone in the hardships we face. But the solution to getting back on top. Winning can start with a gift from someone else. And that gift could be an episode like this. Because another man transformed, is another family saved? Which is exactly what we're all about, thriving and winning in life. There is no alternative. It's possible. It has been done. It can be done, so it should be done. I appreciate your support in spreading this message. Cheers, mate.