188. Give The Man Some Space

This episode is brought to you by our High Performance Father coaching program where we help men juggle business, marriage and fatherhood to create the greatest balance and impact life has to offer. This is done with our philosophy that is at the core of achieving these phenomenal results in family, self and service and that is investing in yourself first so you can be a true 100% for yourself, but just as importantly for those around you that you love and care about. If you're a father struggling with choosing between your work work and your family, lacking balance and connection in your relationship, what your children need, your own needs whilst building prosperity in your business, head over to highperformancefather.com fill out the form and I'll have my coaches contact you to see how we can help you and if you're a good fit, what it looks like to join the winner's circle on the inside. But for now, take the time to yourself for yourself and enjoy this episode. Foreign. Give the man some space. Welcome to an episode where that's what this is exactly about. You might see this episode and many of our podcast episodes as a way for you to create space. But what we're going to talk about and I've done this, I've spoken about this in many episodes. I've done a specific episode on this shit man, probably two, two years ago, one of our earlier ones. It's important to revisit and see how the path evolves and A, where it comes from, but B, how we continually evolve, change. So what we're going to be going through today, creating space has been more important than ever. So I'm definitely not changing or wiping it clean from the slate of what makes a high performance father and what it actually entails inside of creating space. Frequently to be the greatest father, husband and man you can, we're absolutely keeping it's a staple, it is a part of life. It's a part of every human's life, to be fair. And it's something that we can definitely here's the thing, I want you to really, really take this and see where this can also apply to your family members, to your children. This is something that every human being should do. Your children, my children are 5, 2 and 1. They can absolutely create space when they're going crazy. They're expressing, they're figuring out the world, they're finding their place in the world. Shit's going fucking everywhere. How do we help resettle, reorganize and help influence them to take some time out for themselves, readjust, rejuvenate realignment, the three Rs. Seriously though, man, creating space is not something that is just specific to someone who's got fucking cock and balls between his legs. This is about you as a human being, as an organism, taking some time out for yourself. What does that actually mean, though? And why do we take time out? What we're going to be going through here in this special episode? They're all special. They're all special episodes, but this is a special one because you might have listened to the old creating space video and it's great. I had the video and the audio up on YouTube and on this podcast. It might be somewhere between episode 20 and 50. It's important that we see the types, the hows, the where's, the whens. You know, who, what, where, why, how and when. We're looking at, I think there's six, isn't there? There's who, where, what, why, how, and when. There is looking at that. Not that I'll use that as a frame, but a lot of the times we need to build on this. Okay, this is creating space. This is why you should do it. This is what to do. Okay, so what is it and how do you do it? Why do we do it? What about when? What about where? What about the how? In terms of the types, so far, there are four main types. And we might expand on this a little bit. Again, this is. This is new territory, not new territory in understanding what creating space is. But for me, I just can't fucking help myself, man. Like, I'm never going to sit back on one answer and go, that is the answer. It's something we adopt and apply. Things like the circles of significance doesn't mean we wash it away. That's one of our founding. That is our founding. You know, that is the first principle that was ever created inside of our program. The circles of significance. And with good fucking reason, man. Three things make your life. Family, self and service. The end. So there are core things that remain untouched. But when it comes to creating space, it becomes a bit. Sort of becomes a bit of a mystery, doesn't it? Like some of you guys who've listened to this, you've tried and definitely had some hits, maybe had some hits and misses. That's why I'm here. I'm here to serve you. I am the alignment coach, which means it's my role to save you fucking years of trying to figure out, to take in a voluminous amount. Like we get a ridiculous amount of data for me to take it all in Process it, filter it and then reorganize it, repackage and go. Ah yes, this is why this works here. This is why this doesn't work. This is what can also work and really filtering it down to create a streamlined approach to serving and helping you understand the way of life. That can be for a high performance father who wins in family, self and service. And one of those is creating space. What do we do? We go for a walk, we get out in nature. If I can hold our finger and thumb together and we cross our legs and pray. What does it actually look like? The term creating space is it's something that every man should be doing several times a week. This is stopping or slowing the world down. It's saying yes to yourself and taking the time out to immerse yourself. Because this is important to the environment, to immerse yourself in the right environment and to spend time rejuvenating your energy, your physical, mental and emotional energy. And you know as well as I do that it cops a beating man like day to day life, our physical energy, of course that's a natural thing that we can read very quickly, right? So as men as primal, that's all we connect to. But what about your mental energy? You associate just feeling flat, crashing, feeling down, the bad thoughts, the little voice inside, the self sabotage, tall, popping yourself, all that shit. You think that's physical energy like it goes hand in hand. But that's your mental energy. That's your mental state. That is you who supposed to be supposed to be fortifying the gates, the gatekeeper with your big fucking pick or your big spike and spear, ready to fuck up the saboteurs that try and come into the kingdom as well as a big shield. He's asleep and the gates are wide open. Then there's your emotional energy, your emotional health. And that really ties into not only your belief systems, but how you're leveraging your current beliefs, good, bad and the ugly, how you're using them as a tool by zooming out and going, well that's not going to serve me. Why is that here? Okay, that's here, that's come to go. That has come to pass. But I'm going to let it sit for a while because that's important, that's natural. Whether it's fear, loss, grief, all of these different things, they're a natural part of life. We all experience them. What I have trouble with respecting and acknowledging is when there's a chronic level of fear that's expressed or pushed and promoted onto others, you want to live in your own fucking bubble and be afraid for your entire life. Good for you. That's why I can't stand the word safety and things that have just been flogged to death over the last two years, because they really have. Let's make sure we focus on what we can do, what the possibilities are, how we, we can liberate ourselves from the shackles of the bullshit that keeps us down at times by focusing on the lower forms of energy which keep us in this rat race and beaten down with low levels because they're all connected. Low levels of physical, mental and emotional energy. So when you're going and you're in the grind and you're in the rat race, the mouse in the spinning wheel, so to speak, and you're busting your ass for 50 weeks and then you got your two week holiday or four week holiday, could be a fucking six week holiday, who cares, mate? It's, it's irrelevant. It's all the same. If you're busting your ass for 46 weeks for a six week holiday, if you're busting your ass for 40 weeks for a 12 week holiday, it doesn't work that way. Like, do you think the sun just comes up? And I know this is a silly example, but it's so true for you to understand this, for you, because you're also a being. You're an organism with a rhythm and cycle. So do you think that the sun should just stay up and we should have 180 days of daylight and 180 days of nighttime? And I heard that there's some pretty. I've never been there, but I've heard and seen bits and pieces where it's almost like that in some of the Nordic countries. But shit, man, do you think that's the answer? Like, do you think that even if you went, all right, I'm going to go 30 weeks flat out just burning myself to the ground and I've got 22 weeks to rejuvenate. You won't even make the 22 weeks, you'll be burnt out. But for most of us, when you're looking at roughly that two to six week holiday period, you tie your knots, you spend all year tying your rope up into knots and you think a couple of weeks is going to untie them. Can you really see the problem there and what's happening? You're tying the knot on the knot on the knot on the knot on the knot. So as soon as you untie one knot, it's like, fuck man, I've got dozens of other knot. Well too late, back to work. This is a constant top up and effort to be kind to yourself and to give back to you. That's what creating space is about. The stresses, the triggers, the conflict. Anything else with a sense or reality of you losing or not having control is more often than not a sign. It's almost always because you are not solid inside yourself. And whether that's from you giving too much to work, giving too much to everyone else, giving too much to your family instead of taking time out, that's something that is real for so many of us as men and fathers and husbands in this world. Take the time when you're winning in a true and genuine way. Everyone else around you will win as well. You need to take this time for yourself, mate. I cannot stress this enough. Like when you are tying your rope up into knots, when you are jumping over hurdle over hurdle, over hurdle and you're not replenishing or giving back, this is a constant. It's a constant top up. A continuous effort to be kind to yourself, to give back to you, to let yourself know that you are important as well. You might think it sounds crazy if you don't have any context here, but it doesn't. You give back to yourself. You communicate to yourself. It's like me sitting right here now and using the words which comes from all the neurocircuitry and all the other fucking fancy shit inside of us that makes us the miracle of life. But goes through my head, my thoughts, my consciousness. It'd be like me sitting right here now going, Al, I'm going to reward you by giving you a delicious meal of barramundi and some spuds and a beautiful feed to replenish and recharge the body. I'm going to give this to you, Al. You can do that. Like if you're going to do it with so many other fucking role playing characters inside of your life, you can do that shit for yourself, mate. Sit down and going, I'm going to give to me like too often we just forget or neglect the great things that we've done. We had one of our fathers ask about this. It's like it's really hard to generate positive self talk. I get it, man. Because all the whispers become screams in society, in the world that always tells us that we're never enough and we're not good enough. And I'm not here to do that. You see my ads, you see all the victims coming out. I'm not here to tell you that you're not enough. That's why when you hear me speak the words, if you're a father, that resonates with this. If you're a father that is feeling this way, I'm not saying, hey, you're a dad, you're fucking shit. I'm saying if you're a father that's feeling like he's got no control, if you're a father that knows in his heart he wants to be more calm, relaxed, have peace in his household, but he's triggered and grumpy dad and the kids walk on eggshells. If that's your reality, that's your reality, mate. That's actually what's happening in your life. So when I say if you're connecting with this or if your father, who's looking to create a change in that, and you are, fantastic, game on. I'm not telling you not enough. I'm not telling you not enough at all. Like, if this is something that you're happy with and you're happy to do, and the natural expression of that energy leads to a destruction, things burning down to the ground, you're driving a wedge between yourself and your family and you're happy about it. Fucking well done, mate. Good for you. That's your path. That's the life you want. Excellent. Fantastic. I'm sure your wife and children are happy as well. Maybe they're not. Who knows? That's your life. This is really about not letting other people. I'm in your corner. Please don't forget that. I'm in your corner, man. When you've got other people, especially the mainstream media, and everyone put pressure on you and telling you not enough. And you got the extremities of feminism, and you got men who have shown weakness in actions, in positions of power over many, many years, and. And they allow all this bullshit to come to life, and women support that as well. And what does that look like? Well, it depends. Depends on what the political agenda is. I mean, fuck me dead, mate. I couldn't believe when I heard that term toxic masculinity used in a Scooby Doo movie a few months ago when my children were watching it. I couldn't fucking believe it, man. I wanted to grab the producer and fucking headbutt them. Who the fuck are you telling my daughters. And subliminally conditioning my daughters to understand a term that means fucking nothing. If you're a toxic person, you're a toxic person. In the end, it doesn't discriminate against fucking cock and balls. In your vagina. Who are you to go putting that shit in front of my children's eyes? I couldn't believe it, man. So this is what we're up against at times, men. And it's not a he versus she or a me or a we verse. The. It's about standing up on our own two feet and going, all right, well, you're gonna play that game. This is the world fucking game on, mate. Gloves up, let's go at it. And it's not about a chronic state of fighting either. It's about knowing that you have the skill sets and the tools. My brother Jordan, he's an Arakan specialist. And think of it like this. Think of it like Steven Seagal, but real. And I know I'm not taking the piss, he was awesome in his movies, but Steven Seagal was obviously great at martial arts. But a movie's a movie. Think of it like that. But pretty fucking high end. That's what my brother does. Like. He would fucking tear me to pieces. Even though he's my younger brother, eight years younger than me and I'm 30 kilos heavier, it means nothing. Like, he's. He's got all the moves, man. Like he's a fucking freak. He's a weapon. I certainly hope that a couple of men don't try and jump him one day in a cold alley. Because he's quite humble in his presentation. But isn't that the irony of it, right? He's so humble and confident inside of himself because he knows he can be an absolute weapon of destruction to anyone who threatens him or attacks him. Because, of course, their philosophies are built out of self defense, but because he has that, he carries with himself an air of confidence that he's sure, he's solid, he's strong, which means, ironically, he never attracts those sorts of people. And they, you know, and you've seen that before. You look at someone carries that, it's like you learn how to fight and you'll never have to get into a fight. I've heard that sort of stuff for years. Roll through. This all comes off the back of really developing and building yourself to stand on your own two feet and go, what can I do about it? Where can I develop and build my level of confidence, my level of belief? It's very hard. Not that you can't, but it's very hard to do that solely and isolated inside of what your friends tell you, what your business partner tells you, what your workers or colleagues tell you, what your wife tells you, what Your kids tell you you use all these external things to justify and validate who you are. You are always missing a core, crucial piece of the puzzle that is yourself. Doesn't mean it's not nice. I love when I get appreciation from my wife, from my children, from the tribesmen, from you guys who aren't even members. Plenty of you email and reach out, and it's fantastic. Like, it's great to hear that a lot of you are amending, repairing relationships. You're developing better energy, better health, better blood work with your doctor and getting your shit together, man, and starting to live the fruitful. Like, fuck me, dad, you're gonna spend 50 years crushing yourself. So what? The last 20 is basically spent in a nursing home, whether you're enrolled in there or not. Who the fuck would want that? This is your life, man. It's here to be lived. It's not here for you to bust yourself, though, and break yourself for 50 years, to then turn 65 or whatever and go, all right, beauty. Time for the rewards. What's the reward? You're the next 15 to 20 to 25 years living like a fucking mute because you've got no health, no energy, no vitality, no outlook. And those chronic patterns for decades just led to more stress. There's always a problem, right? There's always stress. It's the grandkids. It's the great grandkids. If you're around long enough, you must give back to yourself. You must. You owe it to yourself. Nothing will prime you more. Nothing will develop a stronger level of confidence, of willpower. And look, I get it, man. Sometimes it takes someone else to believe in you, for you to raise your own belief and raise the standards of what's possible. That's why I'm here. It's why I'm not here to tell you. I don't like telling. That's why I'm here to invite you, to share with you, to open up with you, to give you the space. Me speaking these words is not about Al. You connect to it. You hear the voice, you hear all that sort of shit. Cool, man. I appreciate that. This is for you. This is for you to take space for yourself for the next 20 or 40 minutes. However, episodes are 40 to 60, usually to sit down and go, hey, this is my time. I'm going to listen here. I'm going to get a few little gold nuggets. I'm going to apply one or two of them. You're finding the golden nuggets, not me. I don't Know how many words I'm speaking? Probably 3,000. But essentially you're going to pick what applies and works for you and what you connect to that you can then take and apply to your life. That's you. That's the gift you have, that's the skill and the skill sets that you develop and acquire over time and then triple down on and be more connected to life. That is all completely yours. You chose to listen to this podcast. You chose to take in the words of this podcast. You chose to apply the words you've taken in from this podcast to your life. That's fantastic, man. Like, if you have no wins today, make this one of them. So when we get members and we get guys who are low on the confidence, it doesn't matter what front you are or how much money you have, we've got some pretty affluent members in one area of life didn't give a fuck. Family, self and service. You win all three, you master all three, then we're talking about being a high performance father. And what's a high performance father? Well, on your deathbed, man, that's the king of the kingdom, the castle. That is the legacy you've created. That's the 500 year life, right? This is the goal. Even if your name isn't even spoken 500 years from now, nine to 10 generations on, it could be more, don't quote me on that. But somewhere between eight and 12 generations later, something is still living on. Not just the fruit of your loins, but a part of you, a part of the creation, the leadership, what you've led, the drive with purpose towards creating, having courage, having commitment, following through, leading by example. I'll tell you right now, man, if I live to be 90, my 60 year old children look at me going, how the fuck's that? 90 year old, look at that, look at that. How's he still chat? Well, they're not going to say how because they know that they've been alive with me for 60 years, but they're going to look and go, yeah, man, that's the standard. That's the standard. And I look at it, it's like I wasn't born, Like I wasn't. I don't have memories. When I was 5 years of age in kindergarten, when I got kicked out and sent to the principal's office and I was hiding under the mountables until lunchtime, playing with stray cats and throwing tennis balls around and shit. Fuck. I look back, man, I did some crazy shit. I must have had ADD or something. It's so funny. Some of the crazy shit I did as such a young kid, I didn't look back then and go, I'm special, I'm special. I'm going to lead fathers one day. It doesn't work that way, man. The universe naturally draws you towards your path and your message, but it's not going to do the work for you. Otherwise you'll just drift, you'll go astray. You become like so many others. Like too many people do fuck all with their life and give themselves fuck all pats on the back or victories, you're not one of them. If you're listening to this right now, you absolutely cut from a different cloth. This is not a comparison, this is not discrimination. This is an observation of actions and a willingness to invest time and energy to improve your circumstances, grow and build a strong and fruitful life. Who would not want that many people, apparently, because when they just speak the words, that's a low level action. Low level energy means nothing. Same with potential. I've seen so many people with potential. Potential means fuck all to me until it's realized as truth, as absolute. Which is really hard and sad to see because you see so many people that are naturally gifted, you're like, shit, man. That guy's. And not just sport, sports a good indicator. Very easy to see. Be like, that person has so much potential. But then I look at that when I position that sometimes and I'm like, do they? What's your definition of potential? Like, I look at potential now as not, this person could be amazing in six months, 12 months. I'm like, that guy has potential to live an amazing life over the next 70 years, over the next 40 years, over the next 80 years. If they're really young, it's a 10 year old and they're showing some valuable traits and they just feel like they're dialed into their ancestry. That all comes from somewhere. So when I look at potential, it's sort of shifted. See, we measure potential with a timeline, right? Well, let's talk about the timeline of life. And when we do that, that evens out the playing field quite a bit, doesn't it? Because the nerds or the people who got beat on or the people who got bullied and picked on and all the people, a lot of them end up quite successful in life and a lot don't. And a lot of the big fucking stags who are sporting heroes and that sort of shit, a lot of them become fuck all in life and then some do. So when we expand the timeline on potential over life, that evens the playing field. Which means my point is this. You have a phenomenal amount of potential. You've got huge potential. And I was on fringe first grade squads for six years. I played one first grade trial match against the Bulldogs when I was with the Dragons and did my knee. So I was an elite athlete for 15 years. And what do I have to show for it on the stats side of things? Fuck all. I mean, obviously I competed very highly with CrossFit and no one my size in the world was doing what I was doing. But again, what does that mean in the grand scheme of life? I'm proud of that. It's the resilience that drove me to become tenacious in driving this movement. My point is this, because you might or might not be asking, what's this got to do with creating space on the four types? It's exactly this. I will do whatever it takes to make sure that every single introduction I do on my podcast goes for at least 20 minutes. I'm just kidding. Now, the point is this, man. I think we've just crossed the 20 minute mark. Booyah. Look, the point is this, man, you create so many barriers inside of yourself that just fucks you up. Instead of taking a step back, building yourself up a little bit and giving yourself the tools, which one of the tools is a reflection of the past, of the wins, the great things you've done, to go, yes, I can do it. Yes, it is possible. The point of. The point of that is when the fuck are you giving yourself the time and the space to have those reflections, to recharge and rejuvenate your body and mind, and to do it and to follow through on that and to make that the next stepping stone for your reality and to make that the driver inside of your actions, not the reactions of some other fucking bloke telling you you're not good enough, or some other person, or your wife or your children, or your worker or colleague or someone else bringing you down, or someone else being disappointed, Someone else asking a question you might not have the answer to. And then there's disappointment. Someone else having expectations or assumptions that, don't worry, there's plenty of people out there to do that for us. We don't need to do that to ourselves. This is why we create space. You need to be able to not shut off from the world, shut off from the noise and the bullshit. That doesn't mean you shut off from your family. You're investing to be able to give more to your family. Doesn't mean you shut off from your wife. I just need to get away. I need one on one, one time alone before I can give you one on one time. You are investing in the future version and relationship you have with your wife by giving back to yourself now and creating space for yourself now. Can you now see, I want you just take a minute to think about what we've just gone through so far. Can you now see why this can potentially air quotes be the greatest thing, the greatest game changer that you can bring into your life right now. We talk about routines, rituals, habits, this is all part of it. But can you now see, I want you to think and reflect on times when you've actually been able to create some space. We're about to dive into it. So I can give you specifics and you can connect the dots. Especially with the four types, four main types we have at the moment. Could be more, might be dialed into less, we'll find out over time. But I want you to think about and visualize an area or time in your life. When you have like you've gone on your fishing or fishing trips or you've created space and time out, you've had a really good. This is part of routine, rhythms and cycles, rhythms and cycles. Time doesn't exist. The clock is something we created. Time is a word we created. The sun rises, the sun sets, the moon rises, the moon goes half, quarter, full eighth, Whatever it does, think about the times when you didn't have this in place and you could just feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. Pressure would build and build and build and build and build and you go to sleep. Doesn't mean that you get sleep because of the stress and what keeps you up at night and then the next morning there's a little bit of a spark that rejuvenates some energy. I can get after it. Fuck, mate. It's not even 10am and you feel the weight of the world again. What was missing, what was lacking could be people, processes, systems inside of your business or your place of work, poor quality relationships, toxicity all around where people want you to fail, a lack of support. You go upstream though, mate, have a think about it. And it's always something to do with how you've rejuvenated and handled yourself by giving yourself the time and the energy solely and purposefully, just for you. That's what creating space is. Creating space. You are creating time, energy for yourself. That's literally it. That's all, that's all there is to it. So you think it's simple, but with depth comes a greater level of connection to life. You're giving yourself time and energy again. So what are some of the things that we do? And I'm going to roll through some examples as well, and we're going to go through this. But essentially there are four types. And look, I'm sure I'll come up. Like I said, this is very fresh on. Continually diving into the evolution of man, of mankind, of what we do, what it means and ways that you can connect to it. But there are four main types that we're looking at. High significance. Singular focus. Primal. Primal senses and expression. High significance. One way that we can create space is through sheer significance around us. So the sheer size and energy, which is why nature is a great one. Like the very first thing that comes to mind. For me, we're talking high significance nature. The size and energy in all the natural elements. You know, looking, looking out of the ocean and seeing that kinetic or almost that electrical current. Like, there is, there is. You know, I've read about things on magnetism that there's absolutely a phenomenal life force. The Earth itself is an organism. It truly is. So when we're looking at the sheer size and energy magnitude, nature, hands down, is the winner. It doesn't mean that you have to go for crazy hikes, abseiling, all that sort of stuff, but it could include. And look, these can be stacked. So whether you have a pen or paper or not is irrelevant. You will hear and be able to connect the dots and the meanings of these four different types. But that could include going for a walk through the bush and you're like, look at the. Not even just the size, the volume of trees, you know, and there's, there's times where I've gone up to a tree and I've just not obviously not tried to push it over, because you can't. But I've just given it. We got a massive gum out the front of our house. I'm just giving a good slap of light and I'm just slapping it, like. And I'm pretty strong, dude. Just giving a good slap, obviously doesn't even move. It's massive. And when I'm slapping, I'm like, have a fucking look at the size of you, you big beautiful fucking thing. Maybe I am talking to trees because I'm definitely not talking to myself in that context. Although I have said those words to myself before. Seriously though, man, I'm looking at this. I'm like, I'm slapping it and I'M like, look at the force. And I know this is the craziest part. You don't give yourself the time to think about it, right? And trees, they don't do anything. They just stay still, right? They don't move. So what use are they apart from providing the air that keeps us alive? Get your head out of those little perceptions and have a look at it and go, it doesn't matter that the tree can't walk. Look at the fucking size of the thing. Have a look at the size of the trees around you and look at the life that's gone into that. Like, that is insane. Those motherfuckers are so strong. Like, so strong. I could run like you want to talk horsepower, force, energy generation. I could run full steam and try and crash tackle this tree and I would fucking buckle my body in half. And I've got a lot of power to give. You know, if I'm running full steam going into an old shoulder barge or trying to put a big hit on and that tree would just fucking axe me. I mean, I don't even think that the branches would shake. The sheer magnitude of the natural elements around us, like the sand. Another example, like, I didn't even want to guess. Each beach would probably have at least a trillion granules of sand. At least. You pick up, you pick up your hand, you get a little bit on your thumbnail, and there's probably like 300 granules, let alone an entire stretch of beach. The point is you immerse yourself in high significance. Some of these can have elements too. I'm not talking about, you know, I want to create space in a graveyard. But some of these elements of a high level of significance can include nature, but it can also be symbolic of life and death. You can bring memories into play here because that brings about the mortality of our own life, which brings about, not safety, trying to survive and stay alive. And all the other shit gets shoved down our throat lately about thriving and actually appreciating your life and living it to the fullest. This is why high significance is a powerful thing. Like, the world is like, it's a fascinating energy source when you think about it. But also the flip side of this, all of the problems and all the shit that goes through our head, and I've said this before, the biggest problems that you may ever have in your life can always be met with the smallest step in the right direction. And it has to be. It's not, big problem, big solution. It's big problem, okay, small step, small solution to start Moving in the right direction. Same with this. Like, the sheer size of what we immerse ourselves in in the environment. High significance is it lowers the size of the problems that we think we have in life and it allows us to connect to a true energy and an appreciation for life itself. You go for a big walk on the beach, you see some waves and you might, you know, it's laced with little, little gifts you might not see. I just came back from caravanning, I saw a couple of ducks with nine ducklings walking around feeding. And it was just, it was just epic and so cool to see how the mum and dad sort of herded the kids and then they run off on their own. And I could just see little things. It's like you out in the ocean seeing a surfer just catch a massive wave. You're like, there's an energetic exchange there. Like, it just shifts your focus. And make no mistake, all of these are around presence. So I'm going to talk about singular focus next. But all of them have an element of presence to them. They have to. Otherwise you're not creating space. You are here and now watching the surfer catch the wave. You're watching the birds flap around and sing songs to each other. If you're walking through the bush or seeing some lizards and other bits and bees, seeing massive. You look at one tree like, oh, that's a funny shaped tree. Fuck, look at all those ants. And there's a line of like a thousand ants that have just caught their latest hunt. And it's so cool, man. Like, even when we're walking around the caravan park, Roman went up to the ducks and the ducklings and the dad duck or the mum, one of them got the hair up on the back of it and it's like jumping at Roman, like jumping at his legs. And Roman was making noises and it was actually so funny to watch. And I was close enough and obviously nothing happened. And the duck didn't get hurt and neither did Roman. It was just more of a warning, just seeing him. That in itself, that's not creating space. But I'm just saying the examples of seeing nature in its element and just seeing life, because here's the thing, man, like, you're going to have problems, they're never going to go away. I'm not pessimistic or cynical. It's a part of life. Doesn't mean we're trying to create problems, to create solutions. You're just equalizing your efforts. No one moves forward there either. But essentially, as long as you're still alive. You will wake up. You'll see the world through your eyes. The perceptions behind that vary from man to man. You'll get up and the night has passed. Cats still went out and fucking hunted some mice or critters. Possums still went in my backyard and stole my fig tree. My figs. Bastards. They love that fig tree. I need my dogs to get on them. And dogs will still wake up and stretch and eat and bark and ants will still run and do their thing. And bees will still fly around like life will keep happening. Life will continue to happen. It doesn't happen to you, doesn't happen for you. Happens because of you. Your consciousness not present, doesn't allow that to happen. Inside of your life. Might be different inside of mine, but inside of your life. So there's always going to be something man. So appreciating and being able to observe life itself and just breathe, it just helps you reorganize yourself chemically and physically, mentally and emotionally. That's what we're talking about when we talk about high significance. The next one, singular focus. So you can create space with the environment. That's cool. And you can have. You can create space through no focus. Like you go for a walk on the beach. It's great. The thoughts will come and they'll go like it's a great place. When you're talking high significance. It's a great opportunity for heaps of shit to come in and they get dumped. You know, poison, self detrimental talk where you just. You're saying all this shit. Just let it come in, let it go, acknowledge it. Thank you. Fuck off. When you're ready. Thank you. But then you can have singular focus. This is a powerful thing where it can be something like reading. Reading is a great thing. Like you have a singular focus and it gives you a point A to point B. It's a singular focus that brings your attention to something that you should love and enjoy. Otherwise you don't. You obviously shouldn't be doing it. But it's also a great reward for yourself. It doesn't mean it's super easy, doesn't mean it's hard. But it's things like that. It's things like artwork, drawing, painting, clay could be any type of art that's good fun. Like play DOH with the kids. I'm not creating space per se alone, but it's something we're connecting together because creating space is really reconnection. So yes, you can have a level of reconnection with your children. But instead of calling it creating space because you're not on your own. That's bonding. That's a father and his children. That's connection. So playing with play. D'oh. It's good fun, but essentially for yourself. Lego playing cards. Like I said, artwork reading this stuff is as old as time, make no mistake. Like LEGO was around back then. You couldn't do online orders, but yeah, they certainly had Batman mobile models back in the caveman days. Look, all jokes aside though, they were creators. They built stuff like, what do you think LEGO is? You go back a few hundred years ago, it could be building blocks, could be rocks, could be building their huts. This is the interesting thing when it comes to creating space because there's new ideas that pop in my head every single day. Like gardening is a form of creating space, yet there's a singular focus there. That could also be environment. Depends on the surroundings, but absolutely. So these all can be stacked. There's definitely the opportunity to stack. When we're talking about a singular focus, there's purpose, there's a pathway, there's A to B. It's part of your ancestry. We have a purpose and then we need to complete something we are creating. You're creating completely. You go Lego, go get the Star wars set and you're doing Darth Vader's face or you're doing some other cool thing. My wife got me a Harley Davidson model which I put together. I love bikes. Not that I'm into them, I've never really owned one, I've ridden them. But you know, Harley Dave, it was sick. Looked amazing. Like it was an epic. Like, I don't know if heritage is the word, I'm probably using the wrong words, but it is vintage. Sorry, vintage model. And I love that. Man, that was awesome. Definitely didn't complete it in a day. So I had purpose. This is my A to B. Just like the paint by numbers. I did a phenomenal line, worked really hard. He looks amazing. And that was a five month thing of just painting by numbers. I'm just going to hit bit by bit by bit. Singular focus. When you focus on one thing, just like breathing, like breathwork's laid into all of this, right? Like breathing and breathwork. Absolutely. Lay it into all of this and life itself. But when you focus on one thing, you say yes to one thing. You still get little pockets that come in that might try and swipe. No, I've got to focus on this Lego. I've got to focus on cards. Play solitaire with yourself. Like, you know, all of these different Things that come into you. Focusing on one thing means you can say yes to that one thing. That is low level on the heart rate because, you know, walking, exercise, it's almost similar, but that's more primal. You can say yes to that one thing, which means you can say no to all the other bullshit and where the world is. It's not an escape from reality. You playing with Lego or doing painting. This is you creating space and taking time out for yourself. Singular focus is very powerful. Have a think for a minute. Where. Where do I fit into the mold here? Is it all of them? Is it one of them? Do I prefer singular focus? I prefer that a bit more al the nature's cool, but I just don't connect to it the way that that sounds like you can or do awesome. Find what works for you, find your jam and stick with it. But I would definitely suggest that you give all of these a go before you make your mind up, because they all give you sort of different types. Like, it wasn't stressful to paint by numbers, but there were some pretty fucking hard parts. But still, it just allowed me to focus on one thing. Think about that for a second. I take the time after this podcast and literally don't think about anything. See how long you go. See. Do it for one minute. Test yourself here. Time yourself for one minute and think about one thing only. So you could be thinking about your breath. Bang. Something comes up with the kids, something with the missus, something with work. One of our other podcasts. It's crazy hard. Crazy hard. 1 minute, 30 seconds. Just think about one thing. I guarantee you other thoughts will come in. But when you get in the zone, you guys know what that's like. You've done this before when you have in other areas, whether it was cards, whether it was Lego, whether it was painting, artwork, reading. When you get into a bit of a flow state, when you get in the zone, literally that's all your reality is. How cool is that? What a powerful thing to have. Singular focus, high significance, singular focus. Our two points so far on how you can create space for yourself and just give back to you. Third one is primal. Getting primal again. This could be cooking. You know why I love the ocean and the beach? It's so cool. Like, this is tapping into your senses. Your primal power is going for a swim in the ocean. Not only is it cold therapy, and there's a level of magnetism or connection to the waves coming in and going like it's very up. Maybe kinetics, the word it's A very powerful thing to immerse yourself in, but it hits all five senses. You can smell the ocean, smell the salt, the salt spray that comes off. You can taste it. You can taste the piss and shit from all the other creatures that are in the sea. You can see it, obviously. You can feel it, obviously. You can hear it, obviously. All of them, all five senses. Like, what an amazing way to connect. Ground yourself. Another thing on grounding yourself, just going to a park and walking on the grass barefoot. Like, I've read and seen things where that can charge you up more than fucking stimulants and extra hours of sleep. Just literally spending five to ten minutes a day connecting your feet to the earth. Again, such a superpower. We do athletics on Friday afternoons, and I go there and everyone's got their thongs on. I'm like, man, this is fucking beautiful. Lush. Like, it's very good grass. The athletics is on grass. It's amazing grass. I'm like, man, this feels fucking great on the feet. What's wrong with these people? Ground yourself, man. Get your groove on. Primal. So connecting to the elements. Yes. High significance. Absolutely singular, folks. Absolutely. Like I said, you can stack this, but. But when we're talking primal, we're talking about utilizing the senses. So listening. Look, these podcasts, they may fall into that category of creating space. They may do. It might be a singular focus as well. Like I said, these can stack. It's not that they're gray areas. It's where you connect and how you connect and dissect what the activity is to bring meaning. I love 432 Hz music. It doesn't mean I don't listen to other music, but it's such. You put it on any song. Like, a lot of it's relaxing anyway. It's got a relaxing theme, but. But any music, very soothing, like, the day's full of chaos, you bring that in, it hums at the same frequency or vibrational wavelength, all of the above as we do. And it's just such a great way to get in tune. A lot of the times when I'm doing my deep work or writing on my book or doing work for the tribe on the inside, I've just got that humming along in the background. I don't have. I've got a specific playlist called Perceptions, and I've got one called Relaxation. I'm sure you can probably find it. But essentially I don't have a playlist of just 4.32Hz music because I do like other types of music, but Again, that cooking. So it's a great way to do something you love with a love for the food and taste in mind. Of course, you're using smell and sight and hands. You're using a lot of the senses. But the taste, the pure creation you've taken, don't downplay yourself or even your wife or your children. My wife makes a dish and it tastes nice and I say, fuck. Thank you for dinner. That was amazing. Oh, it was nothing. I was like, stop. I pulled her up one day, I said, stop fucking talking yourself down. I said, this is bullshit. I'm sick of it. I shared with you my experience. I love the food. You cooked a great meal. It's a meal we otherwise wouldn't have had if you weren't here. And it tasted delicious. Can you please just accept and acknowledge that? Please, I'm asking you, can you just do that? Because what that does, it nullifies the significance of my word with you, which if I wanted to go all the way to the extreme, I would take offense to that. Now, obviously didn't go in. I went in pretty close to that level of intensity because I just had enough. I was like, man, stop. Just stop it. Oh, it's a great car you've got. Oh, yeah, you know, but bloody the repayments. Who gives a fuck? It's a great car. Thank you. Yes. I love that car. I enjoy it. Like I said, man, there's enough people to cut you down. Don't cut yourself down. It's not arrogance, it's an acknowledgement of a compliment. You've done an amazing job with hpf. Yes, thank you. Yes, I have. But it's not just me, it's we. There's absolutely a whole tribe. But I'm very proud of what we've done and I'm very proud of my continued efforts to lead the tribe. And I am. I'm not going to downplay it. Oh, anyone can do high performance, father. No fucking way they can. No way. It's insane what we do on the inside. Then it keeps growing and evolving. So cooking, cooking for yourself or for your family. Meal prep doesn't matter. Something you're tapping into with yourself. And this, this, before we go into expression, ties into getting your primal power back. So that includes active experiences. The goal isn't heart rate per se, it's the experience. So like I said before, could be fishing, kayaking, hiking, four wheel driving on sand. That's pretty cool stuff. Like, I know there's, there's mechanics involved because I'm not big on Technology. The only time I really like technology is the podcast or the music. I know, obviously, don't pull apart my words. Obviously we use some form of technology with cooking and I get all of that, but we try and limit it. But being in a mechanical machine like a four wheel drive vehicle and going out in the sand is epic. Hot air ballooning, gardening, like I've said, boat rides, going out in the boat, surfing. You don't have to go hot air ballooning every week. These are things that can tap into a greater experience to then bring about the importance, to help you realign and go, I need to do stuff like this more often. Maybe not hot air ballooning, but look at the views. When's the last time we actually went and went horseback riding? When's the last time we actually went down for a drive there and just had a cafe down there on the farm there? It's really nice. This is what it's about, man. It's building momentum. It is stacking. You are stacking and leading from one to the next to the next to the next. So when we're talking about primal, this is about utilizing the senses. What else? Playing golf, you know, that could be great. You might play with mates, you might play on your own, you might go down to a driving range or a putting green. Don't downplay this stuff. How do you feel if just go and just go one of the back nines and just chipping onto the green. You do that for half an hour, 40 minutes. That's awesome. Riding, motorbikes, mountain biking, I mean, shit, there's an endless amount. Again, the goal isn't the heart rate. The heart rate might vary, but it's essentially you tapping into primal. And primal comes. And this is the key here. Have a look at everything in this message here. Might not be high significance as the focal point. Not that there has to be one. When you're in high significance, it's the sheer environment. But when you're actively engaged, apart from like a home gym in the garage, you're out in nature. You are out in nature. Does training fit into this, Al? Maybe. I mean, look, training is very meditative for me until I get my heart rate up around that 140 mark. Used to be higher, but I'm reasonably fit and getting fitter. But essentially there are moves I could do when my heart rate is in the 140s, which is humming along, it's not dawdling and I just love it. And it's not just the endorphins. I'm just in flow, I'm just enjoying, I'm moving my body. I've had nine operations over the years, so it's a gift that I can keep moving. I'm solid on my recovery and really taking bang, another one. Infrared sauna, that's a great way to create space. Like a lot of the recovery for the body is recovery for the mind. And there's a level of synergy or connection there where what you're doing at a chemical level, physical level, is affecting the emotional, the mental state of being. Absolutely. So there's infrared, saunas, there's steams, there's spa baths, swimming pools. Anything that gets you primal. And if you can couple that or stack that with nature or the elements or more senses, beautiful, fantastic. The final one is expression. So high significance, singular focus, primal expression. Whether you think you're talking with words or not, you are always talking to yourself. Like that's a given. Don't ever forget that you are talking to yourself. Could be your thoughts, could be your emotions, but they definitely play a role inside of your life. So when we're bringing the space, whether you use an audio recording, you can record into your phone and just talk to yourself, give yourself a pump up, spend three minutes and just talk about all the amazing things you've done and how proud you are of yourself being a father, bringing life into this world. None of us have a hundred percent rap sheet records runs on the board. Like being an amazing father is a work in progress and a constant that you can't have unless you reflect on the journey where you've come from. That doesn't mean you need to be a deadbeat to be a great dad and show this A to B path. But essentially we're always working at it. You know, I get some guys. Oh, wait till you got teenage daughters. Yeah, fucking good for you, mate. I will wait. And you know what, why don't we exchange details and I'll let you know how I'm going there because I know it's not all going to be rainbows and smiles. Having two daughters. I grew up with three brothers, two daughters and a son. Going to have teenage daughters. I haven't lived that in this life yet, so to speak, being a father to teenage daughters. But I'll get there when I get there. But you know what's going to give me the greatest opportunity to provide love and leadership and be understanding and not be triggered and beyond level right fucking now. Investing in myself now, doing the work now, because guess what? All of the men who told Me about teenage daughters and all the hassles and harshness. Do you think they're fucking living the dream as a high performance father? I bet you they're not. Otherwise they'd have a different spin on it. You know what? Having teenage daughters, it's going to be a great challenge for you, Al, because it's something that really opened my eyes to a lot of different challenges that women go through in life, but also how important it is to be a strong, stable father. Even when they stop talking to you or they stop connecting with you, or you lose that little puppy love state where you know they love daddy and you pick them up and throw them around, even when you lose all of that hour, you actually realize the father you can, will and should become for them as they grow to become a woman. Because you can show them the standards of the man they should look for. If I had that sort of fucking advice from a man who's got teenage daughters. I'm listening. I'm all ears, man. Give me a fucking call. I'll listen if I don't. And it comes from a place of scarcity, fear, doubt, uncertainty, worry, concern, laughter or humor without an intention to follow through with genuine, sincere way or sincere nature. Just a reflection of your internal reality. That going up source or going upstream to the source shows that you didn't invest in yourself when you probably should have. Which means you have no control now and your daughters don't listen to you or respect you. This too shall pass. Right? I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but essentially what I'm saying is there's always going to be something. What are you doing about it right now? To develop and build yourself to be the greatest man you can be. A lot of that starts with expression to yourself, with yourself. High significance, singular focus. Get primal. Utilize the senses. Expression. You don't want to talk to yourself. Write. Journaling is the most powerful thing that any man can do when his world is filled with chaos and stress. Because you cannot write as fast as you think. Slow down the words, slow down the chaos. Take the time to yourself and just write. Just write. That's all you need to do. Doesn't matter what you write. You could be venting, dumping, expressing, expelling some poison out of your body. You'd be talking about the whole world ending and how you hate this, hate that, blah, blah, good. Get it all out there and move on. Something great, reflective, good. Write it down, read it and reflect. It's like our amazing 8. Think it, feel it, write it. Read it, speak it, it, believe it, act it, and reinforce it. I think that's eight. What that gives you is the opportunity to make it part of your reality, from which you can then decide how that plays a role inside your reality. You need to think it and feel it and write it and read it and speak it and believe it and enact it and reinforce it. And when you do this, you're giving yourself reps. Runs on the board. So when you have a thought, that's shitty, but it's your absolute at the moment. You've just got to get it out, write it. Because by the time you've written three words, you've got to go through the thought again. Like, think of the thought as a sentence. Alright, I've got to do the sentence again. All right, you do another four words, another six words. Okay? So you've gone through that thought eight times and you've finally written out that sentence. So it gives you the opportunity to reflect and then either dissolve or accept and connect to what it is that you've written. If you don't do this, you will harbor and fester and manifest poison inside of you, which will leak out of your body. It will leak out through your actions, your words. It is black magic, man. And it will poison and intoxicate those around you that you love and care about. And you don't even know why. You don't even know why the disconnect has happened. You don't even know why you've driven the wedge between yourself and your family. You can sort of start to see or feel it. You're like, what the fuck is happening? But it just keeps happening, happening. And all of a sudden, five, 10, 15 years later, everything eventually burns to the ground. Expression, creating space. Men, give the man some space. This is your time, your life, your journey. It well and truly is. Your children are a part of it, just like you're a part of theirs. Give yourself the space that you need, you desire, you deserve. And if you have friction when it comes to taking time out for you, ask yourself the question, am I creating space at the detriment of what my family needs down the track? I'm not saying it's a right or wrong, but if your version of creating space is going to the pub to sink fucking 10 beers and then come home and barely help out with the family chores and what the kids and wife needs, do you think that you're really creating space for the benefit of yourself and your family? Do you think that's something? If you communicated that way that your wife would appreciate and be on board with. You must sell the monitor as well. That's the final kicker. That's the bonus piece here as well. Show them why they need it. Your children need to create space. Your wife needs to create space. So find something for her. Make the decision. If they can't decide, they're overthinkers. Naturally. Women. Hey, honey, look, I know you've done a lot with the kids lately, and I've been working overtime. What I'm going to do, I've got a half day on Friday. I've actually booked you in for a surprise. Go to this address, you've got a massage, blah, blah, blah. I'm going to take the kids, pick them up from school, spend time with them. You can have a few hours off to yourself. Bang. Done. If they're more independent than that, no worries. Look, I'm just going to give you some time out and create some space for yourself. Look, it's a great thing that I've been listening to on Al's podcast, and I think it's important, you know, we do so much for the kids. We don't have enough time for ourselves, but that's honey and handsome time. I'll tell you about that one later. But also, creating space is important. I want you to have some time out just for you, your own identity. So I'm going to take the kids out, stay home, do whatever you want. But I'm just going to take him to the park for an hour so you can just unwind and relax for a bit. And you know what? I've got a couple of big days ahead, and I'm thinking next Tuesday I might just go throw a line in because I know the tide's running or the prawns are running, whatever it may be. And I'm just going to go out for a fish. Is that okay for you? I think it's something that would be great and important that, you know, I support you weekends, you're not overwhelmed and inundated with chores and duties in the household. But also, you know, I just need some time. Sometimes I'm a bit stressed with work and I just need a bit of time to myself. It's not that I want to take it away from you guys. I want to do this together as well. I want to do some dad ventures with the kids and create some family experiences. But, you know, the more I'm listening to this stuff with Al, like, even going for a walk as a family, that'd be great. But then there's times where just going for a quick walk and taking the mutts or going for a walk by myself would be really good. Just for 20 minutes before I walk through the door. That way I can just get rid of the shit of the day. I can come in through the door in the household and be the husband and the father that you and the children deserve. I mean, Jesus man, if you, if you. Not that we're going to write a script. We've had requests. I can't just hand it to you on a platter, man. It doesn't work that way. But if you walked up with something anywhere close to that, geez, it'd be hard pressed finding some resistance. Especially if you give first. Give without expectations and then ask and you shall receive. It truly is. And that's not a. I don't know, I've heard that my whole life. I don't think that's a biblical thing. Maybe it is, but it's got nothing to do with that or religion. It's literally you give without expectation of return and then you have leverage, you have the opportunity, you have the perspective. And then you can give them the perspective to go, you know what, this is important. Ask and you shall receive. Like when I ask my wife if I can go for a quick dip in the ocean before I get home, whatnot. Am I really asking my wife for permission as a grown man? Like I'm essentially. But I'm also connecting, communicating with her. Hey, look, I know we're going to do dinner at 5pm I'm just leaving now. It's 4:30 and I got a bit held up with work. Work. I'm cooked, man. I need a jump in the ocean. Happy to help out with the bath, bedtime, all that sort of stuff. We've got dinner sorted. See, this is the thing. I go upstream. Just on a side note, I'm painting an example, but I go upstream Sunday, we plan everything. So when it comes to Tuesday or Wednesday, Thursday. Look, quick dip in the Ocean. Give me 10 minutes, I'll come back. All right? No worries. The kids have been nightmare. Yep, I get that. They've been a nightmare. Don't worry, I'm going to help out. I've got nothing on tonight. I've got no calls, no work. And then I've got a little surprise for you later. But I don't want to tell you about that now. Bang. There's the carrot. Okay, cool. It's about. I don't manipulate my wife. And it's not, it's not Misleading, but sometimes it's definitely about redirecting. It's not misdirection, but it's definitely about redirecting. That's how you put out the fires, man. You just redirect a little bit here and there. But it's true. I follow through. I give her a neck and shoulder or back massage. I follow through and give her that reward. So guess what? Subconsciously, next time when I ask her, hey, do you mind if I go for a quick dip before I get home? See, she subconsciously. She sells seashells by the seashore. Okay, I'm back. She subconsciously knows that she can trust me. And there is truth and trust and faith inside of our relationship because I follow through. And she does benefit in some way. Because everything you do in this world, you do for yourself. Some way, shape or form, some fashion, some level of significance, some level of martyrdom, some level of sacrifice, giving for your children, for the school, the fate, the fucking fair. You all do everything with some level of perceived reward or real reward inside yourself. That's the bonus. That's the bonus. Men, as we wrap this up, I hope you've enjoyed this episode. It is a very powerful one for the pure reason that this is the biggest hole in most men's game. Not the communication, the skill sets, the tricks and all that sort of stuff. Not tricks, but the strategies and tactics. We can talk about that. We can do special editions and all that, but at the core, you will come to the party much better. It's not about knowing what words to speak and have in a script. When you put the hat on, it goes on your head. The hat of being a husband goes on your head. The head of the man who is empowered through himself. Creating space, valuing himself, being on the level, getting control back in time, in life, in energy, rejuvenating himself so he can be the man that his children, his wife and society needs. And that's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this episode and got some golden nuggets with possibly one or two aha moments as well. If you truly loved and enjoyed what you listened to, then I want to invite you to share this episode with someone who you know needs to hear this. It could be your brother, friends, colleagues, your uncle, even your wife. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that none of us are alone in the hardships we face. But the solution to getting back on top, winning can start with a gift from someone else. And that gift could be an episode like this because another man transformed is another family saved. Which is exactly what we're all about. Thriving and winning in life. There is no alternative. It's possible. It has been done. It can be done, so it should be done. Appreciate your support in spreading this message. Cheers, mate.