190. What Men Need In Men

This episode is brought to you by our high performance father coaching program where we help men juggle business, marriage and fatherhood to create the greatest balance and impact life has to offer. This is done with our philosophy that is at the core of achieving these phenomenal results in family, self and service and that is investing in yourself first so you can be a true 100% for yourself, but just as importantly for those around you that you love and care about. If you're a father struggling with choosing between your work, work and your family, lacking balance and connection in your relationship, what your children need, your own needs whilst building prosperity in your business, head over to highperformancefather.com fill out the form and I'll have my coaches contact you to see how we can help you and if you're a good fit, what it looks like to join the winner's circle on the inside. But for now, take the time to yourself for yourself and enjoy this episode. So it appears I've been talking too much lately and I've lost my voice to a degree. But here we are, we charge on, we move on. Welcome to another episode where the voice might be a little bit different, but that's okay because if you're getting sick of my voice, then we can change it up a little bit and have a bit more croak a little bit deeper, a bit more of a fucking man. Maybe I'll grow a beard now, men, welcome to a special episode where we're talking about essentially, this is really built around environment, what men need in mental health. Because no matter how strong you are, no matter how powerful you think you are, no matter how good the runs on the board, the results, the past history, what's shown what your current actions are, no matter how good you are as an individual inside of yourself, nothing influences, and I said this before, nothing influences you more internally than your external environment. Which on the flip side, not looking at the bad or the negative, but looking at the absolute that comes from that. All men. All men, eventually. What's the word? I don't like the word, cave, submit. But essentially all men, they build this level of cohesion, of connection, of commitment. All men do eventually flow into their environment. All men do submit and cave into. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how strong you are, all men in this world will eventually under the right conditions for the right period of time. Whether you want to talk about that being fucking infidelity or whatever it may be, self sabotage, taking drugs, crime, robbery, murder, fucking, anything, man, anything. It doesn't matter how strong you are, all men under the right conditions for the right amount of time will cave into their surrounding environment and become part of their external environment. All of them. All of them. So, well, there's pockets of crime and all that sort of shit and drugs and fucking swingers parties or whatever the fuck you want to look at. In trying to look at this through the eye of the extremities on one side of what you might think you'd never do if you expose yourself to that, your belief systems, what you're indoctrinated into, what you are conditioned to believe, all men will eventually cave in. No, I won't, Al. I'm loyal to my wife. And we'll look at the movie like Castaway for a perfect example. Let's say you were on an island and. Or your wife was on an island, plane crashed, blah, blah. And like I said, it doesn't matter. I know you can't pull apart my words here, but you might pin me down on the extremes of this example. But your wife's supposedly dead and you believe that it's been five years, eight years, 12 years. You know, there's an old flame that you reconnect with, or, you know, you get lonely and it's 15 years later, but your wife comes back in the 16th year. Oh, I thought you were going to. I thought you were waiting for me. I was alive this whole time. No, you've gone and married someone else. I'm telling you, man, as crazy as it sounds, all men cave into the conditions. And when we're talking about loyalty and that sort of stuff, that is only measured when it's tested. It's all well and true to kick back and you live on an island alone with your wife and go, yeah, I'm loyal. It's like, well, there's no other fucking women around, is there? You know, I don't take drugs. Well, there's no drugs on the island, is there? You know, so I know this might sound a bit funny, but this is an underpinning foundation of you getting your power back. Because this is the more important point. And you look at it from any example I know, like, talking about other women is obviously an easy example because you can see some of the big wigs and flyers, guys like fucking Jeff Bezos or old mate Gates and, you know, again, I don't know the men. I'm not here to judge them. It's just an observation of, obviously there are other women involved in their life, and then there you go next. So it doesn't matter how successful you are or how successful you think you are, what you think success is in certain areas, regardless of your strength, your integrity, your values, what you do, if you are exposed to a specific, when I say the right conditions, right period of time, if you're exposed to a specific set of conditions for a specific set of time, you will in one way, shape or form, specifically adhere to and become an immerse in and become that environment. You will. It's just a fact of life. Good, bad and the ugly. So that's the point of this episode, what men need in men. Because we're going to be talking about not just the alternative. It's important to recognize that. So you need to stay away from the triggers, the pitfalls, the traps that will fuck you up. Let's look at the great. What am I looking for, Al? What am I actually looking for in my environment? Not just what am I looking to not be part of, what am I not looking for in my environment? But here's the important part. Regardless of how strong you think you are and whether you agree with what I said or not, this is, this is an important thing, man. Like, how the fuck would you know unless you've been tested in that area, right? Boy, did I get tested a few years ago. So when we, when we establish this understanding that you know what, doesn't matter how strong or powerful a man you are, could be Michael Jordan with gambling addictions, right? He's my fucking hero when I was young. I'm not saying he's a bad man now, I'm just highlighting a point of, you know, it doesn't matter what hero beholds your eyes. You know, it could be Arnold Schwarzenegger, I loved that guy when I was young. And then obviously you see the different pathways that he's taken and choices he's made. All men under a specific set of conditioning in the environment that they continually immerse and invest in. It's important here. They continually immerse and invest in, will influence, and eventually they will adhere and immerse inside of that, submit to that environment and become what that environment is expressing. This is an important truth to recognize, my friend, because whilst you are a byproduct of your environment, the real power lies in understanding that the environment is a byproduct of you. You choose which environment you invest in. You choose which environment you say yes to. You choose which people, places and things to say yes to. That's your choice. You should take ownership over that. You know, I mean, I don't know, fucking poor example. Probably from movies back in the day. I mean, Chicago and it's, you know, the neighborhood's 95%, you know, black and it's just crime and everyone's crime. I'm just going to become a criminal. You think that no one's ever gotten out before? You know, you need to look at some of those stereotypes. And that's a poor example from a mov. From lots of movies that I'm sure you and I have watched over the years where they talk about these sorts of demographics. If you have access to a phone, the Internet, this podcast, even you listening to this right now, it's not about pulling apart the message and going, what about this 0.0001% of the population? It's like, nah, man, am I speaking to them? I'm speaking to you. But regardless of how poor, how challenging, how rough your environment, circumstances have been, unless you're in some little third world country with zero access to Internet and you don't have the resourcefulness or ability to start changing your mindset to then look at how you can escape, you have opportunity. Like, unless you have zero influence upon you other than your direct environment, that is the power and the destruction of the mobile phone. Because if you can access the Internet, YouTube, I mean, there's so much free stuff out there that if you want to make that choice, if you're an impoverished, you know, community, suburb, there's crime all around you, but you can access the Internet and access Tony Robbins or something to get some mindset. You have an opportunity, you have choices, you have options. So your environment is absolutely a byproduct of you as well. Easier said than done, of course, of course. But this is the truth, man. So here's the important thing to recognize in this. Because of my voice, it's not going to be a 20 minute intro today. Just spoiler alert. For some of you who'll be disappointed, this will probably be a short episode. There's always a choice. So here is the important thing to recognize. You're right, Al, I would cave in on the circumstances, conditions. And look, I love my wife to death, but the reality is, like I said, if she got a job and she was overseas for five years and I worked for some fucking Penthouse magazine and I like you, just play it out, it's like, nah, nah, nah, nah. And then eventually there's something inside of you that starts to soften the eyes around your environment. Your belief systems change, your influence changes. Now I'm using that as an extreme example not to say I'm going to fucking root as many women as I can if my wife travels overseas. What I'm saying is, regardless of what your love or connection is to something, time will change everything. Time changes everything. The good, the bad and the ugly. Everything, man. Time and exposure to environment. So an important thing to ask yourself is, what kind of environment am I immersing myself in that might not have my best interests at heart? Because here's the thing. No matter how strong you are, even though you may cave to the conditions, the important point to recognize is, or the important action to take from there on in is, well, this is the thing. I make sure that I never immerse myself in those environments. I can't express how simple it fucking is, man. Like, that's it. That should be the end of this episode. We'll paint a few more pictures for some key points I've got written down and some terminology here, but that, that's the truth. If you like me, like all men, under any set of conditions doesn't have to just do with women. Like I said, I'm using examples to go for the kill, to paint an extreme of perspective for you to understand that the key to having a successful life on your terms, doing what you want is not investing in those environments. It's not immersing yourself in that environment. It's not going and doing those things in those different environments that are going to expose you. That doesn't mean that I don't like or I judge mates of mine through high school who've become drug addicts. But I don't invest my time there at all. I don't talk to them anymore. I don't have the time that I'm willing to invest. I've got my family, I've got a high performance father. I've got you men here. The service that I provide and the value I give out and I've got myself and my body and my health. Like that's with three young children, man, you know how fast time goes. That's more than enough. If I went and started hanging out with my mates who were smoking bongs and doing that sort of stuff, and I went and hung out with them again, sooner rather than later, there's going to be some sort of time where I'm like, you know, I have a real stressful day here, give me a hit. Now look, maybe I've had more of an innocent, not by any means been easy, but an innocent upbringing because of my choices, you know, like, I haven't done Cocaine or any of that sort of stuff in my life, but doesn't mean I haven't been exposed to it or seen it. Right? It's choices. Remove yourself from the environment that exposes the temptations inside of you to become fucking Pinocchio with the island of Donkeys and you won't become a donkey. You boys have had your fun, now pay for it. I'm sure you all remember that movie. They go to the island, they're fucking smashing. They've got little like towns that they've built up. And so they get to smash them and burn them down and light them on fire. And they're smoking cigars and they're drinking piss and they're playing pool and staying up all hours of night doing all that shit. And then what happens? Bang. They turn into donkeys. You boys have had your fun, now pay for it. Off they go in the shipping crates and then fucking bang. They're slaves. Pinocchio starts to become a donkey. You hang around donkeys, that's exactly what you'll become. And that's how they behave in that environment. That's very symbolic. Obviously didn't understand or know that when I was a kid watching the movie, but this is my point, man. So knowing full well that you and I, doesn't matter how strong you are, every fucking man on this planet, every woman, every human being exposed to a specific set of conditions for a specific set of time, will become those conditions over time and become that environment. The key here to holding your power, the key to holding a life of integrity, a life of value, a life of truth and honesty on your terms is not investing in that environment. Not being tempted, distracted, interrupted, pulled into, lured away. Say yes to this, say no to that. Not being pulled into that environment. How do you do that? You say yes to the environment that you want. You create the environment that you want. You choose the environment with a set of skills in modern intelligence, social and self awareness that is going to harbor the manifestations of the greatness you can have, that's going to nurture you, that's going to provide a level of support and value for you. So let's dive on into this. I've written some key points. What men need in men. And look, it's one of the reasons why obviously I'm incredibly proud of our high performance father community. It's just a fucking epic group of men, you know, like, I need you to understand. Even you listening to this. Even if I never meet you, you're not a follower. You might follow the Podcast or follow Al's voice from here to there. But you're not a follower. You're a fucking leader. You are a leader. You are here to lead with me. We are here to lead a higher standard of who we can be as men, which in turn becomes fatherhood and a husband, a partner, a lover, a leader. You're a leader. Which is why I love the community on the inside. Look, it's phenomenal. These men, we all have our ups and downs, we all have our hardships. Myself included, banging out this podcast with a, with a, with a razor sharp throat. Obviously talking too much. I need to talk less. Not that I don't practice what I preach, I listen heaps. But I wanted to do three podcasts this week because last week was one. Maybe it'll only be two. We'll see. So essentially, man, this is about environment and immersing in the right environment. Is this a call to action? To say, hey, come join now on the inside of hpf? Of course not. You make the choice, not me. You make the step, not me. Do you need to be a committed man, a genuine man, a team player? Yes. Those three things are imperative. Otherwise there's no way we'd ever accept to be fair out of respect of the other men on the inside. But the power in our third pillar, immersion, the power of the tribe, it's fucking incredible, man. It's one of the reasons why I'm doing this podcast right here and now, when I don't have to, but I get to and I want to and I'm willing to because they inspire me. The men on the inside inspire me. They teach me, they lead me in specific ways, just like I lead them in specific ways. So let's crack on in. That's one of our points here. What men need in men. What do you need? Have a think about it before we dive into this. What do you feel you need in your environment? What do you feel you need from other men? Let's look at the straightforward. I'm the alignment coach. It's what I do. It's Al's alignment. You can't spell alignment without Al. That's what I do on the inside as well. I'm simply a cog in the wheel. Lets paint the facts. Where are you now? Point A. Where will you go if you keep immersing in this specific environment? That is your point A potentially point minus a point B. What do you want? So have a think about this. What do you want in your environment? This is my point. Where are you right now, family, home, life, what's that environment, life. What's the support like? What are the people like? This does. And please understand, this isn't. You're a sum of the five people you hang around and fucking cut off your family, cut off your mates and blah, blah, blah. You'll be right, mate. Look at this. You and I both know it doesn't work that easily. And that's also not necessary. There are plenty of things that I don't agree with with my parents, my family, people in my inner circle. Doesn't mean I neglect or throw them away and it doesn't mean I use them either for what I can get out of them. It's an understanding of the differences in life that make us human, that make us whole, that make life so creative, so beautiful. The ups and the downs. What's your current environment like at work? What about your social environment, your friends? I enjoy going down to the pub to have a few beers and have a pun or watch the footy on. That's cool, man. I'm not saying you shouldn't do that anymore. What's the consistent continued environment? Okay, now peel back the layers, fuck off the words, fuck off all the bullshit and the external superficial stuff. Let's. What's the energy like? Just sit with me here for a second. Not feelings as emotions, but feels. What's the actual energy you feel like when you're around your mates? Like, have you started to do a bit of a health kick or you've dived in this podcast and you've mentioned it and they've taken the piss out of you? Like what? I get that, man. I'm all for humor. Like, trust me, when it comes to wit and speed and taking the piss and having a joke, I'm all for a laugh. I'll dive in there and match it with the best of them. But time and a place, man. If you're vulnerable about a challenge. I don't want to drink alcohol for the month of March. And your mates are taking the piss out of you. There are certain things if. If they don't have that modern intelligence, social and self awareness, then they're letting you down. They're letting themselves down. So what does that look like for you with your friends, with your workers, with your colleagues, with your father, with your mother, if they're still here. It's really interesting. My father really supports me in so many ways. But since the continued. Since the start of the success of what we've done here and the continued success, it's interesting because he's got all the mindset pieces on the wall and very philosophical and all that sort of stuff. So it's like, because I'm his son and I get that he can't see past that and he'll try and coach or teach me or give me all this wisdom and then when we're having this dialogue, it's an elevated position for him of importance because maybe he feels like as an aging man with four sons, he's losing his grip or control that he thought he had. Maybe he's not investing in himself the way he should. Like, I know he isn't. He can be more with his health and with his mindset, what he does. But that's my perceptions of his opportunity and possibility and potential. That's not mine to push or to hold onto. That's just my observations of where my father can go. But the choice is always his. So when I see that sort of stuff, it's very interesting because it's like, you know, what kind of support are you getting? What does that look like? Is it true? Is it consistent? Is there an underpinning layer of someone else's internal environment that is just sort of knocking you down a peg or two or in your success or not in your success? Not that I'm saying my father's trying to knock me down a peg or two, but what's the feel? What's the energy? Think about this man and feel it. When you catch up with your friends, with your family, with your workers and colleagues, what's the energy? Remember, life is energy. Doesn't matter about the words, about the body language, the posture. It's all related. It's all types of energy. But what's the depth? What's the deeper level of energy that you're getting from this person? Is it sincere? Can you read them? Like one of my greatest skill sets. Not that I'm going to say I'm a clairvoyant, but I'm very intuitive. Very intuitive, like, and that's something that built over time where the rose colored glasses were. Give everyone a chance and help and love and support everyone. And you know, that is not a set of rose colored glasses anymore. That's an internal belief that I don't give a fuck how much potential someone has. You show me. I want to feel that deeper level of energy doesn't mean I won't connect to you, but it also doesn't mean that I'm going to trust you right away either. And that doesn't mean I'm jaded either. I'm very loving and open, but I've got this internal fortitude where you can't, you can't crack that. Like it's if, if I see bullshit gone, game over. What's the feel of where you are right now? Okay, let's future pace this. If you continually immerse in this environment like you're not 21 anymore, mate. So if you're going to the pub two, three times a week to sing, piss with the boys, like, is that something that you really. Is that a need or is that just a want? Is that an escape because you can't handle fatherhood? It's not that I have it. I don't have an issue with the pub. I've eaten there plenty of times. I don't have an issue with alcohol. I've drunk an alcohol. I don't drink alcohol anymore, but used to drink alcohol. It's not that. It's what they represent. They're a fucking crutch. They are an escape. They are not wholesome for you. They are poisoning that is toxic for you. Think about this, you think you drink alcohol and it's, ah, yeah, the next morning I'm a bit, bit rough and man, like, think about a week, it's only 168 hours. You're fucking poisoning your body. You think your body's gonna get rid of that shit in only in, in a seventh of that. You think in 24 hours your body's going, yep, that's it. Like a week is only 168 hours. You have a big night, you have a big bendy mate, you're fucked for months. Your red blood cell count recycles itself every 90 days. So that means whatever goes into your red blood cell production. So if you get on the piss and have a massive. Put it this way, here's some context. And again, I'm not saying it's good or bad. This is just for you to observe your own actions, your environment, who you immerse yourself in, the actions that come off the back of that environment that you're immersing in, that you might not want to do. But the peer pressure which never leaves in high school and all the other things form up your model of the world and acceptance of a standard, which is a standard, it's average. It's not. You know, if you dialed average into one person in the world, half the world's under that. So that's pretty fucking scary. Look at it this way. If you had a massive fucking bender on New Year's Eve, Your body is only just now, just now recycling and getting rid of that. From a perspective of your red blood cell count and production just now, like when nearly at the end of March. And that's assuming. Not that I like assuming, but that's taking into consideration or guesswork or providing that you haven't had any more benders since, right? Australia Day was big. I had the christening of the birthday on the 11th of February. And that's right, it was my wife's 40th on the 3rd of March. And next thing you know you're like, okay, well within that 90 day period, I've gotten on, gotten fucking tanked eight times out. Yes, that's right. You think you're going to recover in 168 hours, let alone a thousand hours, let alone 6,000? There goes another year. Where is this taking you, this environment that you continually turn up for? And my question to you is, why the fuck are you turning up for that environment? Why do you keep turning up and investing in that? Why do you keep diving into that environment? This is the scary part, man. Especially when you've got emotional attachments. Most people don't want to grow. That's fucking crazy. Because as humans, we're progressive creatures, we love evolution. It's part of our life, it's part of our ancestry, it's part of our DNA, it's part of our fucking, every fiber in our being. Most people switch off, they stay in monkey mode, monkey brains firing that just put out the next fire. Last couple of years has definitely shown that. I mean, look, focus on what you want to focus on. But like I've said before, openly, and this is not from the perspective of business, obviously we're busy because of the fucking crazy shit that's going on in the world. And so many men and families and fathers need us. But last two years have been two of the best years of my life. Why? Because I sorted my shit out before then. I built that fortitude and I built that steel and that nature of who I am, that resilience. Fucking ages ago through the triumphs, the hardships, the adversities, I had to overcome. I had to. Otherwise I would have failed. Like, I don't know doesn't mean I don't lose or have sporadic failures, but I just don't know how to take a backward step. I can't do it. It just doesn't make. I just can't. Like I can't even sit down and logically try and think about it, let alone enact it. Why do you keep diving into that environment, man. What do you keep saying yes to those people? Where is that taking you? Where's the point a. Where is that leading you? Is that what you really want? Like, have a think about it. Is that what you really want in your life? Make no mistake, you're a leader. A leader doesn't just influence his environment to create change because he can do that. You can turn around, you get fit, healthy, strong, you dive in, you might join hpf. We've had that. And their friends are like, what the fuck, man? This is. This is insane. Hey, can you help me? I get that. But a great leader doesn't only influence his current environment, he creates. He creates a new environment. What kind of new environment do you want to create? Let's go have a quick swig of my goon bag. Looks like I've got a cask of wine. Left my HPF bottle at home. So pull the old, pull the old water sack out of the. Out of the cardboard box. That's really nice actually. That Tasmanian Waters got it from Woolies. That's not a sponsorship or shout out. Just that when you hear this, don't think Al's going for the goon. I remember I used to carry that around with me in the gym. It's just so easy. You got this big fucking sack. You got this big sack full of water. That's great, mate. You can have a swig and have a swig and then throw it. You're fucking set. Easy. People will be coming in, they'd be like, is that. Is that guy drinking? Is he having, Is he got a cask of wine that he's drinking while he's working out? Yes, that's right, that's right. That's how it fuels me. Of course it is. Yes. It's really nice. Love it. It's very good. West coast, what is it? Oh, shit. What was that little bottle? Is it west coast coolers? One of those things back in the day is to try and steal swigs of it from mum and dad. Point B. Where do you want to take this environment? This is where you are now. These are the facts of your environment. Where is it going to go if you keep going down this path? Where do you want to go? What does that look like for you? What environment do you need? Is it to have a couple of hundred men and your coaches in your corner? Like, do you have champions? Where the fuck are your champions? Who's there to be strong for you? Because the self sabotage. This is what it's about man, like. And there's key points. We're about to dive into it. This is what it's about, having people who can help you stack the odds in your favor. The self sabotage, the bullshit that you feed yourself, guess what? Welcome to life. We all have that, we all do that. But when I'm in your corner, guess what? It becomes two against one. So when the little voice pops up, you and me link arms, we put on our brass knuckles and go, fuck you, little voice. We're gonna punch the fuck out of you. And that's what we do. Turn the odds in your favor, man. You get the tribe, the coaches, you've got men in your corner to raise your confidence, to raise your belief. Hey, it's two against one, five against one, ten against one. That little voice inside, get ready to, when you pop up, we're going to punch the fuck out of you. And you're gone. So that little self sabotaging, he knows what's coming. You will own him, you will dominate him. You are not alone anymore. What does that look like for you? What men need in men. These are core elements that you must have because you might be like, I don't know, Al, I don't know what it looks like for me. Well, let's discover it together. Let's navigate and create this pathway, this roadmap together. Truth. These are key points that men need in other men if you're to have a genuine environment and team in your corner fighting not only with, but for you, truth. You've heard me say it a thousand times, the truth always wins. But again, peel the layers back. Questions are better than statements. What kind of truth are you creating to discover a higher version of who you can become for yourself and family and a higher level of reality and truth for yourself and your family. Are you just accepting truths around you or are you creating a higher level of truth through your actions, through your leadership? It's really interesting. I don't know how it might have been on reels or I don't really scroll social media. I saw it somewhere and someone was talking, some sort of mindset or motivational coach, I don't know. And they're talking, where was it? I might have been a sponsored ad. And they're talking about how do you know the difference between, you know, genuinely growing an ego or something like that. And the person was saying, it's when you, you tap into a higher being and there's a, there's a higher element of inside you and your consciousness is more open and aware and you're so much more awake to the possibility and your potential. And this doesn't matter if it's a man or woman, but this was a woman. This woman went on for like two minutes. And I listened to it. I was like, what the fuck has she even just said? You just said every fucking buzzword under the sun. What do you actually even. You've answered fucking nothing. What do you even mean? It makes no fucking sense. No sense at all. This is. This is what we're up against, men. I'm not having a stab at the life coaches or all those other people. What I'm saying is, if you cannot convert this shit to reality, taking fucking action and standing up in family, self and service, adopting true core principles. It's a principle. It's something you live by. It's your code. It's a law. For you. There's only three things that matter in your life. Your family, yourself, and your value to add to the world. That's it. Okay. How am I going to do that? What are my targets? What are my actions? What are my versions? Who do I need to be to turn up for this target that I'm going to complete and achieve the outcome that will be true because of the actions that I take. I feel so much more fulfilled and rewarded. Fucking great. Have those feelings after you show me some action. Have that shit after you fucking show me the truth, a real truth. Otherwise we're all just fucking twisting the ears off each other, putting. Jerking each other off, standing around a campfire doing fuck all. Oh, but I feel so much better. Yeah, but why? Why do you feel better? Because of your emotional state or because you got runs on the board and a passage of time and history to go, I fucking did this. I did that. I did that. This was the outcome. This is why truth's important, what men need in men. Because what couples with truth is honesty. See, I'm in your corner. I want you to win. I truly do. But if I don't bring up. This is what honesty is, bringing up the truth. If I don't bring up the truth, that might hit a few sore spots, that might trigger you hopefully in a genuine way, because you can convert this into action. If I don't bring up the truth, if I'm not honest with you with a lot of the patterns and pitfalls that are the same, then you think you're going it alone. You're not. A lot of us are very similar in the challenges we face. If I'm not honest in bringing up the truth, of some of the self sabotaging you're doing, some of the pitfalls, some of the bullshit you're feeding yourself, some of the stories you tell yourself, then I'm not doing the best by you. Then I'm allowing the fucking lies to continue, aren't I? Whether it's your lies, my lies, universal lies, doesn't fucking matter. Truth is important. Honesty is important. Bringing up the truth. Otherwise we just talk fluff and shit and nothing happens. Or we do no talking and nothing happens, Nothing of value. Something will definitely happen. Point minus a the alternative. That's what happens. So when you're looking, these are key points for you to look. What am I looking for in my environment now? What men need in other men. What men need in men. Truth, honesty. And these all do connect. Loyalty. Because I'm loyalty. I am, I am loyalty. Otherwise, I mean, fuck, what are we up to? 190 episodes? Like, do I need to keep doing this? Maybe? I mean, Al got some podcasts. Yes, there's fucking 190. Go nuts. I'm not doing anymore. I'm loyal to you in the continual journey that we have together. Because of my loyalty. I'm going to call you on your shit. Because of my loyalty. We're going to be honest and truthful together. Because of my loyalty, I'm going to be firm, but also a constant support for you because of my loyalty, honesty and truth in how we are firm and we have continual support with you, for you, with each other. I'm also going to challenge you, but challenging you because of. Not predecessor, but because of the previous points, because of the framework we've set up, because of the foundations of those core elements of truth and honesty and loyalty. The challenging comes from a place of love. I love helping you, man. Hey, I love you, man. Let's cuddle like fucking bros. Although, yeah, obviously we embrace and we had an amazing get together at Cozy where it was like a brotherhood, but it's a. It's a love for helping men. I love for helping mankind, but. Okay, cool. Mankind now. Let's help mankind evolve. Like, here we go into the fucking words again. No, no, no. Let's help a father get his shit together. Let's help him get time back. Let's help him get his energy levels solid again, physically, mentally and emotionally. Let's help him build skill sets so he can communicate and connect with his wife. Let's build some tangible things in play here. So yes, he does have the feelings that are true afterwards after the fact. The feelings are your hooks not anchors. If you've got emotional anchors, that's going to fuck you up. It keeps you in the same spot. Let's get some emotional hooks that'll drive the why. But then the way that we reel in those hooks to catch the big fish is through action. It's through facts. The prize is there, reinforces the emotion. I'm gonna challenge you. That's what men need in other men. You need to be challenged in a genuine way. Look, most men hide behind humor and taking the piss and all that sort of stuff. And some push the level. Some, you know, don't draw a line. Some go way past the line. Some do it subconsciously as a way to elevate themselves to feel important so they take the piss out of someone, even in their friendship group, too much and be cautious of all that sort of stuff. You know, there's a kernel of truth in every corn. So when you talk shit about yourself or you allow someone to keep putting you down, you will, at a subconscious level, like you do, you do accept it as truth. Bit like, if I was sitting down, I just had the TV on all day. Could be fucking Dan Oz direct or some other shit. And eventually there's some part of my subconscious that's going to believe and tap into the processing of the environment around me and accept certain truths in there. Next thing you know, for some reason, at the next health and fitness expo, I'm buying one of these cool fucking ad mats. I'm like, yeah, this will work. You go back to source like, oh, you watch fucking this. Admat for sale and Daniels direct for 40 hours last year, you know, 15 minutes every day for a week. Every week for a year. Like, this is what I mean, man. When it comes to having the right environment around you, you need something that's going to genuinely challenge you and help you actively and subconsciously build the man that you want to become in the next phase of your journey. I'm not saying you're not a man now. You're going to change every year. Every year, just like every three months, your body recycles its red blood cells. I think every seven years, your body literally sheds a new version of yourself. But all the physiology and bullshit aside, like, every year you're different. You'll only be 41 once, you'll only be 42 once, you'll only be 53 once. Like, you're literally shedding the skin of old and carving out a new version over the next year. You can see that, you can hear that. Go back to the podcast I go back to season one, it's like, oh, hell's completely fucking different. Of course I am. Would you listen to me if I was the same? Saying the same shit? Challenge, truth, honesty, loyalty, firm and constant support. To challenge you to create a high level of truth, to bring up the truth, to be honest. Please understand, this isn't. I don't even like the term constructive criticism. Criticism's fucking shit like it is. You know what the crazy part is too? I'm not going to say 100% and you know, this isn't an opinion. But I'll tell you what, I'd be hard pressed if it was any less than 99%. But 99% of the time out there, when someone is criticizing you, it's because they have not achieved what you have. They haven't got what you have, or they secretly want and they're jealous and envious of what you have. But they know they're not willing to put the fucking work in to get it or to have it. Like, this is. I can't stress this enough if I see people, because if you're a leader and you're successful, let's say successful in business and another dad movement comes out, and I mean, there's a few out there copying me at the moment and I laugh at it and some of the guys send it to me, I just, I laugh it off. Sorry. Look. Oh, good for them. I'm humbled and I'm fucking flattered that they're copying me. But they don't get it by copying. Especially when you should be leading fucking men. Like if your message is leading men and you're a copycat, that's a piss week action. But there are a lot of people who are trying to find their way, even if they're coaches trying to coach people. But essentially, why the fuck would I focus on that and criticize that? It doesn't matter. It's cool. I can try and encourage and good on you, man. Or they might reach out. It's like, mate, try this, try that. And pretty transparent. You can't replace Al. You can't replicate what we do. But essentially, 99% of the time when you're copying criticism, it's from someone who is not at your level. Well, that's not true, Al. You know, my father criticized me. He's much more successful. No, no, no. He has demons that you don't know about. He has insecurities and challenges and hardships inside him that he feels insignificant, inadequate and not enough. And maybe he's Afraid that that's the path you'll take. So he's trying the hard love approach. I don't know. Again, it's not an opinion. This, this is a very open ended thing. But in terms of criticism at the core, it's shit. And it's generally coming from someone who is lacking or missing, who has a void or a hole in their game that they are trying to pull you down into the same place. If there's not something to back it up and they'll call that constructive criticism, good for them. But essentially you would be highlighting and observing the hardships, the pitfalls, the challenges. If they maintain this path and then what they can do about it, that's it. You don't need that in your corner. You don't need that sort of stuff in your circle. We're talking about what men do want, what men need in men. Truth, honesty, loyalty, being able to challenge each other genuinely. Because those first three hold true. Hungry to grow. You want to be in a position where you can see men around you in your corner are hungry to grow. Because what that does, again, you gang up on that little voice inside and you're like, come on, man, fucking come with us. And please understand, I'm saying this with respect, just to paint a perspective. This is what the Hungry to Grow subconsciously says. We're not going to come down to a level. Whether that's your level or not. We're not going to come down to a level and accept that. We're going to raise the level. We're going to raise the bar. Come with us, raise up with us. We're not going to come down to your level. You come up to this level, let's come up to this level together and then let's create another level together. That's what that's about, challenging each other, being hungry to grow. We all, every man, every man in life wants to lead, but he also wants to be led. Like it's that, it's that simple. Every man wants to lead in life. And you should, you have that opportunity. I'm not going to say that right, you'd earn the right. But you have that opportunity to lead. But we also want to be led. So when I see men on the inside of the Hungry to grow, I'm learning, I'm listening, I'm watching and I'm seeing what they do. That's why I'm a fucking gun at what I do. It's not because of Alex Ranieri. It's because of thousands and thousands of forms and Weekly temples and data that I'm seeing and feedback and conversations and coaching and listening and applying. And I am a. I'm a version. I'm a byproduct of thousands and thousands of men where we've picked the eyes out of all the elements to make us great, all the things that can pull us down. Cutting away that and staying on track, on course with what's important to evolve. It's simple. It's that simple. So you've got to be an environment where you're hungry to grow. Put it this way. If we had a couple hundred men inside our group and they're all doing nothing and acting the victim and whinging and bitches, man, you wouldn't even be listening to this podcast. I would have fucking blown this shit up and gone somewhere else long time ago. Like that would have been. There would have been failure after failure would have been my own confidence, my own significance. I'm like, this is not fucking working. This is. I started. It doesn't work. It's not even enjoying this. This is horseshit. This is definitely not worth the hardship and the challenges. This is not worth the criticism. I cop on the ads because I'm not even getting the support on these. No way, man. No way. You need an environment where you have leaders around you that are leading and want to be led. It is really this. It's almost. That's my next point. Yeah. The level of vulnerability and a Viking to fucking go to war together. You want to be in environment where you have good chiefs which on a more consistent basis can pull from the Viking and the panda. The chief sits in the middle. If you haven't heard that episode, it's a great episode. The Viking and the panda. But you also want a tribe where you can have guys who can be the panda. That vulnerability, where you can be the panda and that vulnerability to express your emotions, not from a place of being a victim or statements, but to express and get out the toxic, the poison inside you, the emotions. And then take that. Collaborate and build actions to move forward and go past that point and never go back there. But you also want Vikings. I'm fucking ready to go to war with you, man. I'm ready to fight with you. I'm ready to fight for you. Let's fucking wing. Let's. Let's win and let's share the spoils. We take our fucking enemy and we take the scalp. That's how we work, right? No survivors. When it comes to the little voice inside. Self sabotage, the bullshit the world Dishes up the hardships, the adversities, life itself trying to roll through us. We fucking conquer. We go to war and we claim the fucking scalp. We take it all. Men want that. They need that. It taps in that primal element. So when logically things don't make sense, we can emotionally use those hooks again, leverage them, and then drive a higher level of action. That doesn't mean going to robot mode, but yes, we just go, fuck em. That's it. Bang. Game on, man. I'm focused. Think about that. A time in your life when you've been laser focused, laser sharp, and you've had the right team around you. You've been invincible, man, unstoppable. What men need in men, truth, honesty, a level of loyalty where there's firm and constant support, where we are challenging each other, but we're hungry to grow. It's from a place of love and support. We are leading and we want to be led. We have a chance to lead. We have a forum, a space to be able to lead and share our wins, our triumphs, our victories, personally and collectively, but also be led to rise up in what we can do, personally and individually. We have a space where we can be vulnerable. You think 100 years ago because the men put on brave faces and they all broke down and cried behind fucking closed doors that. Well, I guess I just gave the answer. You think the men that put on the brave face, they didn't break down, they didn't have feelings. There would have been this discomfort, this anxiety, this suppression. I think about the word depression. Like, what are you depressing inside of your life? If you're depressing, it means you're not pressing. You're not pressing and pushing out and expanding in your emotions, in your thoughts, your feelings and your actions. These men were depressing themselves from living a great and fulfilling life. But then on the flip side, and I'm not saying this for millennials, anyone else, but being too emotionally erratic and unstable and volatile, which is the modern world, absolutely. Especially through teenagers or anyone probably maybe under 25, these. But at this current stage, we got to build the spine. You can't just be driven through emotions, man. You're fucked. Let's build the spine. Let's do some deep work. Let's get to work. Whether it's a trade, whether it's anything, let's build some runs on the board, whether it's your fucking gym training, something that builds that resilience in you, that says, yes, I know how to work hard. It's not just work smarter and it's not just work hard. You need both. You need to work hard and smart. You. We're in a great sweet spot, you and I, because we have the collective of the old guard, the old school, and then the new age together. You know what? I can be open and transparent. I'll have a look at how open and transparent I am, sharing my feelings, emotions and all that sort of stuff. And I'm not saying this to be some big tough man, but at 6 foot 4 and 110, with a nice little layer of rage inside me that I keep tucked away, and I use that in my training in other areas, I can switch gears like that. I can be emotional, vulnerable, and talk about making, you know, wanting to create a greater level of love with my wife and creating opportunities to connect and significance and talk all these fucking words around emotions. Then also I can switch and go, all right, bang Viking, let's go. Let's go to war. Let's tear heads. You need that. You need both of them. Both of them is going to bring out the greatest conqueror and king that you'll ever see inside of yourself. I promise you that. Hungry to grow. Lead in the chance, be led in the chance to lead, be vulnerable and have Vikings behind you, beside you, next to you to go to war with. What does this all equal, Al? This is your environment. This is your energy. Think about the microbiome in your gut, health, the old flora and fauna inside you. Well, this is exactly that. Outside you. This is energy. When you're in that environment, just like listening to these words, there's an energetic vibration. There's a frequency, There are wavelengths that are literally going in and through your fucking body. When you have that at a higher level, because of men speaking the truth, being honest, their actions, showcasing a greater level of history. They're fucking leaders. They're conquering. They are building a kingdom. They do have a kingdom from which they're building a legacy. You're exposed to that all the time. Just like if you put on some. Some illegal low, low D base like my mates did to one of my other mates once, and he put him in the boot with some illegal speakers and his fucking guts were torn to shit. That's some pretty heavy stuff. It's vibrations. Vibrations and frequencies exactly the same. What does this equal then? Confidence, belief, possibility, opportunity. All of these different words. Can you see how they come after the fact? I'm not here to sit back and go, you're going to evolve and feel so amazing, and your emotions will be epic and you can just see how much you've grown as a human and your eyes are open, you've got great perspectives and look, all of that can be true, but there's an order of things. You can't just sit down with life coach and go through fucking fluff and look back and go, my world's falling down. Where's the spine? Where's the resilience? That's chaos, man. Your internal and your external realities don't line up. This is what your environment's for, to help you line them up. That's why I'm here, to help you line them up. Let's line up your internal reality and your external reality. This. This is what men need in men. Take care, gents. I'll leave it at that before I lose more of my voice. Hope you guys enjoyed this and got a lot out of this session. I know we talk a lot about you and even this is layered into you individually as a man, but it's good to look outside yourself. It is. You know, I say go within and blah, blah, blah, and that's all true, but the greatest way you can go within is by looking at what's outside you and what gives you. Seriously, like, I know it sounds weird, but what gives you permission? Because when you're investing in the right environment, you're getting certain permissions. What permissions are you giving or allowing yourself that's going to help you build a better level of cohesion to your family, to who you are, to your tribe, to rise up and become a greater leader, a greater man, and to live a greater life. When you start tapping into that source, I promise you, man, everything will turn around. And if everything's already turned around, everything will be enhanced and uplifted. And if everything's already enhanced and uplifted, you will fucking maintain that. Because that's who you are. You are the king. And there is no alternative. This is a non negotiable. The decision making process has been done and this is your path, your life and your journey to greatness. And that's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this episode and got some golden nuggets with possibly one or two aha moments as well. If you truly loved and enjoyed what you listened to, then I want to invite you to share this episode with someone who you know needs to hear this. It could be your brother, friends, colleagues, your uncle, even your wife. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that none of us are alone in the hardships we face. But the solution to getting back on top. Winning can start with a gift from someone else. And that gift could be an episode like this because another man transformed is another family saved? Which is exactly what we're all about, thriving and winning in life. There is no alternative. It's possible. It has been done. It can be done, so it should be done. Appreciate your support in spreading this message. Cheers, mate.