192. The Problems Men Face & How To Solve Them

This episode is brought to you by our high performance father coaching program where we help men juggle business, marriage and fatherhood to create the greatest balance and impact life has to offer. This is done with our philosophy that is at the core of achieving these phenomenal results in family, self and service and that is investing in yourself first so you can be a true 100% for yourself, but just as importantly for those around you that you love and care about. If you're a father struggling with choosing between your work, work and your family, lacking balance and connection in your relationship, what your children need, your own needs whilst building prosperity in your business, head over to highperformancefather.com fill out the form and I'll have my coaches contact you to see how we can help you and if you're a good fit, what it looks like to join the winner's circle on the inside. But for now, take the time to yourself for yourself and enjoy this episode. The problems men face and how to solve them. Welcome to an episode that may hold a high level of importance for you. Because if you're a man who's living or breathing on this planet, you almost certainly have problems right now in your life. Welcome to the club. So do I. So do all of us. The problems never go away. They just change. So when we're talking about, I guess the title of this episode, how to solve them, what we're really establishing is at a core level, who you can, who you need to become. Sure. That's your choice, who you can become to position yourself with a higher level of power and certainty in how you live your life, which equals your level of leadership, the actions, how you choose to see things, your perspective. That was an important episode we just did. And moving in the right direction for yourself and your family. So when we're talking about the problems men face and how to solve them, here's the crazy part, man. Most of us have the same problems. Now, look, yes, they do change. But I guess when I say most of us have the same problems, what I'm talking about is the patterns are very similar. The patterns of life having low energy, being lethargic or run down by not giving back to ourselves, different types of energy. And we're going to dive into our connection formula. I've shared this a little while ago. We're definitely going to revisit that again today. That is paramount to your success. But essentially understanding that the patterns are the same for all of us helps us understand that, you know what, we're not just the problem Are we? We're the solution. And if you are the problem, you are the solution. And if you think you're the problem alone, you're not. Don't be so selfish and greedy thinking you're the only one going through what you're going through in the world. That's one way to look at it, isn't it? I'm not desensitizing and saying that you should just wash away, be numb or blind towards the hardships you face. Absolutely, you face them, they're yours, they're real. But essentially we can't sit back on our hands and go, I'm the only one in the world going through this. Because that's not true. When you do that, you're not only limiting yourself to the possibility of change through your own actions, but you're also pigeonholing yourself to wash your hands of any responsibility. By justifying, and that's borderline victim mentality, you're justifying the state that you're in, the position you're in, and the circumstances and outcomes that continually happen for you. That's what you do. When you say, I'm the only one going through this in the entire world. You're justifying the hardships. Don't breathe any more life into the hardships. Don't breathe more life into the bullshit that life in the world can dish up. That's going to do no one any good. Breathe life back into yourself to understand that the problems men face are the problems that you face are the problems that I face that continually change and adj. And evolve through the time. So we become harder, we become stronger, we become more powerful, we've been here longer than the problems we face. So whilst the pattern of a similar problem might have been as long as time itself through different generations. And men, if you're 45 years of age and you've been experiencing that particular problem that's been the same for men for thousands of years, that particular problem for you might have only been around for five years. You're 45, you're fucking bigger than that. You're older than that, you've been here longer than that. This too shall pass. This is quite a motivational episode. Like, even though it sounds like, well, yeah, the problems men face, but also on the kicker, how to solve them. So there is absolutely optimism that follows through on the title of this. It's a. It's a very positive, It's a very motivational piece that we're going to go through today. Because what we're workshopping here is not only the opportunity you have to turn things around, but the steps, the tools, the pathway to go and do it. It's all well and true to elevate your state and be motivated by what I say, what I speak, what we speak. I'm a collective of the voice of thousands of men now. And it's all well and true to be motivated by that. But we're not here just to elevate the state. We're here to maintain a standard and maintain a standard that is on a continual upward trajectory. And that standard can only be maintained through the actions that we take, not through our thoughts, feelings, and emotion. That's just half of the puzzle. That's just half of reality. That's your internal. All right, let's convert that to external. Let's make that real. Let's make that my life. Let's make that my experience, my family's experience, my children's, my wife's, my workers, my colleagues. Let's make this something that uplifts everyone and uproots the bullshit and fucks it off once and for all. And when I say once and for all, yes, there are some problems that you will solve that will not come back. But in the way life works, other seeds will be planted. Maybe not by you, but they will grow. And those trees will bear the fruit of poison, and you must cut that and remove that from your life as well. And this becomes the continual cycle and evolution of mankind. I've said this before. You can't have day without night. Doesn't mean we go chasing or looking for problems. It doesn't mean. Also, like, when we talk about problems, because there was a massive epiphany that came to me and I was like, how? Like, what's the difference? How does someone. And obviously there's a. There's not a lot, but there's a couple of moving parts. There's not many. That's the fucking crazy part to being hugely successful in life. Family, self and service. There's not that many. Like, the recipe is very small. Like, it's. It's not, you know, Here are the 55 steps to massive wealth in your health, your family, your life, your. Your finances, your relationships. No, no, it's only a couple of core things. But I was like, what? What are they? And then it bang, just hit me. Problems, problem solving. We'll dive into that. And it became a quote. Not going to say I created the quote, even though I created the quote. We created the quote because, like I said, I'm a collective of the men that I serve. But it's really fascinating, man, to understand that whilst we don't go looking for the problems, there will always be something here. We don't go disappearing, thinking we're just running off onto the mountain to pray and shave our head. And nothing against monks who want to engage in a life of solidarity or isolation, but people think it's easy. Just remove the problems and you won't have any or you won't have as many. It's like, it doesn't really work that way. Like, okay, you move out onto farmland by yourself, living off the grid, and what happens if a fucking bug comes through and destroys all of your crops? Where's your food now? So please understand, like, I get the whole, yeah, just have less problems, Just deal with less bullshit, deal with less people. Of course I get all that. You know, you can live a simple or an extreme life, a life of few people around you, a life of many people around you, but it's not that simple. This is why I'm addicted to growth. And you should be as well, man. Like, I know I don't talk about opinions and say shoulds and needs and whatnot, but fuck, you should be. Why? Because that is your insurance policy. You on safety and security and all the other bullshit words that get thrown around the last couple years with elements that you don't control. That's setting you up for a fucking trap and a big fall. You should be addicted to growth. You should be looking at what growth looks like for you and assessing that. You should be looking at what success looks like for you. Not from a position of fear or settling, from a position of possibility, opportunity, and fucking getting after it. So when someone says, oh, success is a billionaire, it's a millionaire, it's like, what the fuck does that even mean? Like, what does success look like for you? For me, it's family, self and service. When we're talking about financial freedom, of course that's one area of freedom which gives you choices. It gives you options. Isn't this what freedom is? It gives you options and choices. Same with fatherhood. Through the leadership of showing, not telling the examples you set. You get choices. You have freedom to move around within the scope of being an amazing father. You've got choices, you've got options. You've got leverage. Your children look up to you. They listen to the words that you speak. It doesn't mean you have power over them, but you certainly have pull and influence. And when you do that from a position of love and leadership in knowing what may be good, best right for them, as well as giving them the free run to discover and explore life themselves. You become a phenomenal leader. You have more freedom. Same with your relationships. Emotional bank account. Emotional deposits means you're not just taking emotional withdrawals from the bank account because you got a fucking piece of paper that says you're married and then your wife's just flogged, you're flogged and you're not even connected anymore. You don't even know who you are as individuals, let alone as man and wife. You're making emotional deposits in the bank account. That gives you freedom, that gives you choice, it gives you leverage. That doesn't mean I bow down and supplicate to my wife for three months so I can go away for four days or a month on my own trades and barters. This is about you standing up a lot of the times without expectation. Which ironically leads to freedom, choices, options. One of the greatest ways we get that is not by trying to eliminate or remove or pull away in a sense of fear, escape, restriction, constriction, the opposite of growth, which becomes dying and waste. It's not through doing that. It's through your capacity and your ability to handle problems and to do two things with them. You either solve them or you dissolve them. And there is a difference. Even though funnily enough, you can't spell dissolve without solve. I just picked that up then there we go. The problems men face and how to solve them. This isn't an episode to say, hey, Al's going to remove my problems once and for all. This isn't an episode around, hey, I'm not going to have any more problems in my life and I'm going to have freedom again. This isn't an episode around what I just spoke about, defining what successful looks like for you. And this truly is around you, your life, what's important for you, if you're not a narcissist and if what you do is not in a detrimental effect to your family, which unfortunately, some things that you think are good for them with the best intentions might not be because you haven't developed clarity and communication and skill sets around that to connect with them, AKA flogging your guts out, working to put food on the table, digits in the bank account, or for what? You can't sit back and say, hey honey, let me just flog myself for 10 years and then we'll catch up on our relationship. You cannot keep grinding yourself with 10, 12, 14, 16 hour days and thinking that that Won't come back to bite you in the ass. That doesn't mean I haven't grinded in my life. But life is not a grind. It shouldn't be. Life isn't about survival. Life isn't about fighting. You're not here just to always fight. Sometimes, yes, you've got to fight for what's right and what you stand for and believe in. But you shouldn't be fighting your entire life. There are pockets, periods of flow, of building, of developing, of re engaging, of resetting, of rejuvenating yourself. So when we're looking at the problems that men face and how to solve them in this episode, what we need to first establish, which is why I want to touch back on the connection formula. What we need to then look at here and touch on the problems men face and how to solve them, is to first go upstream to the source and ask the question, who? That's right, you. Who is facing these problems? Who is the man who's standing before the problem or the problems that he faces? Who is he? What does he look like? Not just physically, that plays a role. But this is the craziest part with life. And I'm sure you're getting a common theme. I mean, what are we up to? Nearly 200 episodes. And I mean, I'm very fucking proud of that. Like, these aren't five minute hits, right? Like we're looking at a lot. Like if we're nearly at 200 episodes and the average is 40 to 70 minutes per episode, that's a lot of time. You know, we're looking at 150 hours of. I don't want to downplay this and say, saying the same thing, but a lot of the core elements are the same in so many different ways, so many different perspectives that are relevant, that are tried, tested and true, that are real, that connect to you, that have connected to other fathers. This is me listening, me learning and then applying. And ironically, again, it goes back to source. Come back to center. That's you who is facing these problems. You got problems. Okay, we're going to talk about problems and specifics and strategies and tactics, but let's go back upstream to the source. Well, who's facing these problems? So when you're being an identity or some sort of identity shift, whether it's a husband, a father, you're putting that hat on, that still goes on your head. Same with whatever's in front of you. The hurdle, the roadblock, the brick wall, the obstacle, the big fucking tower that's right in front of you seems like it's impossible to move. Whatever problem that looks like the adversity, the challenge, the hardship, who's facing it? Who is that man? What is the passage of time? What has history shown in his resilience, his awareness, his persistence, how he turns up and performs day in, day out, his mindset, his attitude. You can see this all ties in pattern of performance. One of our core principles, systems, the order of things. Behavior, your mental approach and attitude. Frequency, how often you're doing something. Habit, part of your identity system, the backbone of a high performance father, high courage, long commitment. It takes you in that sweet spot of living in certainty, circles of significance, family, self and service, pillars of progress, precision and purpose. How well are you doing it? Why are you doing it? How well are you doing it? Why are you doing it? All of this ties in together towards you. Who you are is a byproduct of the actions that you've taken to this point, to this stage, to this day. What a great opportunity. That doesn't mean all the great things, all the shit things are wasted or banked and you can sit on them. It's what can I tap into that I know I have done that I know I can do? Just like your subconscious. Like, fuck that subconscious, man. Turn that shit on its head. You will go through different areas where your subconscious will get a feel for something that was similar but not even the same. And it pumps out the same fear or the same hardship or the same belief or the same perspective. Turn that on its head. I've never done this before, Al. Yes, you have. What? You haven't faced the hardship before when it comes to building a business, developing a business, starting a business, rekindling the love with your wife, reconnecting with your life with your wife. Re establishing a new relationship, connecting inside of a new relationship. Re establishing a relationship with your children, taking your children from 0 to 5, from 5 to 10, 10 to 15. You have done all this shit before. It doesn't matter that the numbers different or they look different or they've got more hair or less hair or they're older or younger, or the business is called this or the business is called that, or your colleague is called fucking Bill or Amy or Paul. You have done that shit before. At a core fundamental level, you've done it before. So if your subconscious is going to play tricks on you and saying, hey, this is something similar, I'm going to retract in fear and blah, blah. Turn that shit on its head actively and say, you know what? I might not have done this specific thing before. I might not have started an online store which has served thousands of fathers all over the country called DadStrong Australia. But fuck, mate, I tell you what, I've sold products before, I've designed and developed products before. I've created and innovated a pathway to serve a specific audience before, which is fathers for a long time now. I can fucking do it. It doesn't matter that I don't know how to use Shopify or how to set up. I'll fucking figure it out. Don't get lost in the detail. The specifics of the problems are what fuck you up. But at a core fundamental level, ask yourself, who. Who is the man who is turning up today to face the current problem that he faces? Have I gone through this before? Like, whatever you see in front of you, man, no matter how big or small, you need to go and hug that monster. It's a big fucking beast. It's a monster. Go give him a cuddle, fucking hook into him, start of the day, give him a cuddle, headbutt, punch, kiss, whatever it looks like for you to get acquainted with. Because guess what? That monster will never leave that beast. You want to create a figure? The one you need to really be cautious of is that little voice inside. That's you fucking yourself up. Sorry about the big monster, the big boogeyman who's hiding in the closet. Get him out first thing in the morning, have a look at him, fucking address him, conquer him. And then all of a sudden you realize, hey, he wasn't as big as I thought he was. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was. I gotta be honest, man. Look, I've never thought that anything that I was gonna do would fail. I've had many failures and losses, but over the course of my life, because I continually grow and expand, I have no regrets. Are there things I fucked up? Absolutely. Are there things I could have done better? Absolutely. Have I caused heartache and pain and hardship? Well, reverse that. Have I contributed or influenced. I mean, causing heartache and heartbreak for my wife is her choice and her perspective. But have I certainly led to that pathway and influenced that through my own actions? Absolutely. I take ownership over that 100%. Just like she takes ownership over how she received the neglect that I was giving her. But I don't regret any of that. It's made me a better man. So you need to look at first the problems that we all face as men, no matter how specific, small, big they are. When you get out and you fucking get well acquainted with that fucking beast, that monster, that big, ugly fucking prick in front of you. Not you. The problem. You're a handsome devil. Hey, you need to back yourself, man. That's why we call it honey and handsome time. I've got a fucking massive chin, apparently. I don't think it's that bad. But I can't see myself side on, so people look at me like, no, no, it's all right. You've grown into it now, Al. But when you were younger, you had a big chin. It's like, yeah, okay, cool. I'm fucking ugly. I'm fat. Like, you can't put yourself down like that. We're all unique in our own way. Brad Pitt's the fucking. He's the pinnacle of someone who looks good, or George Clooney or whoever the fuck else is the next flavor. What's handsome mean to you? Like, you are cut from a different cloth. You have no idea, man. The hardship that we see, other men reaching out to us that don't pull the fucking trigger. You got fucking balls. You've stood up. You are listening. You are paying attention. You're listening to this podcast. You have a level of attraction, power, and opportunity inside of you that will go. If you do nothing, of course that'll disappear. I mean, fuck all. You can listen to these podcasts your entire life and just keep consuming. You don't do anything, nothing will change. But when we're looking at the who, this is a truly powerful thing to recognize that. That beast, that monster, that thing that you think is so bad, no matter how big the problem is, you know how you solve it, mate. The smallest possible step. I'm serious. You don't need, like, massive problem, massive action that doesn't work. That doesn't make sense. You are so erratic. Spontaneous volatile. That is not a good thing. And it's not necessary. Doesn't matter how big the problem is. You take that small step and you move in the right direction. So, as I was saying, like the back of the success that I've had in family, self and service, and the magnitude of that success growing year after year, exponentially, it's not because my problems have disappeared. It's because of who I continually become. So I get it, man. It's really hard. You might look at something in high performance, father, and go, how do I? Well, we can quantify it with the maths and how we track the data, the history, your high performance scar, your high performance score, and the path to take you from near too far here we are, this is where we're going. This is the journey. Absolutely. Like, we can, you know, our results are tangible. It's not just feelings, facts and feelings. Your life, it's your evolution, it's your relationships. But I get it, man, it's hard for you to look at that crazily enough, look at a hundred thousand dollar car and go, yeah, I can justify that. This fucking. There's this machinery has gone into it. There's. There's metal, there's rubber, there's a fucking engine. You can't even validate and justify investing in yourself. Can you see how fucking crazy that is? You are the source of all life itself inside of your reality. You are the source of all change itself. I can't stress. And this isn't a plug or a sell to join hpf. This is my observation over many years. I said that to my wife the other day. I said, fuck, who are you getting coaching from? I said, you need to go, you need to go see someone. There's something wrong with you. Corinne. I didn't say it in that respect. I said it in the light of. Because she's working with editors at the moment and writing. She's written a children's book and working through all that. And she's got challenges coming through. Like it's never smooth sailing doing something like that. I said, who are you seeing to be strong in your corner? Like, I'm your husband. I'm not here to coach you. Of course I can help you and influence you and give you perspective, but I'm your fucking husband. I'm not here to be your coach and I can't. It doesn't work that way. Too biased. The version of who I am, the version of who she is, this is real, man. Like I asked her that question the other day and said, karine, you're not, you haven't invested in yourself. Forget massages or physio because of your ankle injury and operations. You had years gone by. You need to go and invest in yourself. Go and pay yourself by paying someone else some fucking money and immersing in the right environment to up level who you are. I cannot, like, everyone needs this. I haven't need this. You need this. We all need it. It's insane. We look at all these fucking physical, tangible things we hold in our hands and justify the price we pay for something which is, well, at best a depreciating asset quickly, a liability. Because it's been that fucking trinket or shiny object that's pulled your focus away and then you've got more problems in your life instead of developing the man that has the capacity to handle the problems. This is why those who are following my journey are like, how the fuck has Al done it? This is how. This is why I keep winning. I keep leveling up who I am. You can see that. Go back to the first few podcast episodes and then come forward to now. Who is facing these problems, the problems men face and how to solve them? Well, who is it? Who's turning up? Who's turning up to the party? Who's turning up to the fight when you do need to fight? Who are you? What have you done? Have you handled problems in the past? Or have you taken the path of least resistance, which has become more resistance on a compounding level because you got tricked. You tricked or fooled yourself into believing that this is the way. But the way. And I gotta say this just on a side note, like, I'm. Am I very spiritual? I'm not sure what the word spiritual means for many people. Am I very aware, in depth with myself, my clairvoyant or the oracle? Certainly. Certainly not. Do we have that gift? Yes, we all do. Am I spiritual? Yes. I mean, like, you and I both know, man, like a spade's a spade. Owl. It's like, well, no, it's not. Is the road black or charcoal? You tell me. Everyone's got different fucking outlooks on things. But in terms of life itself, don't sit there and fucking tell me that it's black and white. You are bullshitting yourself. Don't do that. Don't close yourself off or protect yourself. You are a source of energy. The end. Whatever you want to label that with. Whatever energy even means. Someone fucking created that word. Someone sat down once, I don't know who, and went, when? E, N, E, R, G, Y. That's what it means. Like the life force. These are just fucking words. You, your consciousness, you are reality itself inside of you. Whatever you're expressing and experiencing, whatever the fuck you are, whatever I am, whatever we are. You don't need to be religious to have a connection to whatever source looks like for you. Whether it's spiritual, whether it's the word, God, Yahweh, I don't know what the other words would be, Hinduism or Buddha or. It's your connection to yourself, man. At a deeper level. Don't be so black and white. You will fuck yourself up. You are suppressing, you are destroying the possibilities. Doesn't mean, on the flip side, you sit down and wash your hands of Life. And just fucking pray and put your hands together and think everything will fall in your lap. This is your life. It's your life to express, to experience, to develop and up level who you can become with who you are right now. It goes hand in hand. So looking into the deeper side of yourself, your life, you owe it to yourself. This is my point. I know sometimes I go on, but I don't think it's a ramble at all. You owe it to yourself to listen. Listen to your gut, man. Listen to your instincts, your intuition. Don't turn that shit off. That at the essence of life is your free will. Fuck me dead. Some people have turned that off lately. Don't turn that off. Trust your gut. Trust your intuition. Feel, not feelings. Feel the energy in your gut. The funny part is like Those chakras, there's seven. Well, I've seen things where there's like fucking 500 apparently. But the seven chakras, the seven energy sources, ironically enough, that's connected to your organs, your nervous system. Like this stuff. Whether you go science or spirit, they're actually exactly quantum mechanics. Mechanics is almost like spirituality, scientifically explained. Please understand, man. Like this sort of stuff is leverage and tools for you to connect to yourself, your gut, your intuition. You cannot fall for that, man. Listen, feel the energy. I may trigger you sometimes. I may speak some harsh truths and there may be things you agree with and things you don't agree with. I'm not telling you to go all in on Al. Al's words or Al's beliefs, but the purpose and point behind why I'm here. If you feel, if you listen to your gut, your intuition, your feelings is to go, hey, this man's fucking telling it how it is. And a lot of the times how it is is exactly what it is in my life right now. And sometimes it's not. Yeah, I know. A couple of the episodes I've spoken about porn and all that sort of shit. And some of you guys might not watch or listen. Listen to porn? Fuck. Could you. Could you imagine? Put the audio in, Al. I want to hear some porn. But look, some of you guys might not be. That's great. I used to watch porn in the past. And then one day I was just like, what the fuck am I actually doing now? I'm not judging you, man. If you still do that, if it's still a part of your life and it's something you're not ready to let go of and it's something you never let go, no worries. But just ask What I'm here to do is provide purpose and value for you to just ask the questions. Don't just sit on your hands and accept what is. But listen to your gut, your intuition and feel the energy. As crazy as it is. Like, this is not prerecorded three months ago. I do the episode on the day, I release it, on the day. I know this planning like, no, this is how it is. It must have this fluidity. This is how it is for me. And I've worked hard to make the time and energy available to do it this way. Feel the energy crazily enough a couple hours beforehand, or it could be days. When you listen this episode, who knows of me speaking into a microphone and you feeling the energy and tell me what your gut says, tell me what your intuition says and feels. It's like, fuck, man, this, this guy's. I mean, I'll tell you what I feel it is from myself. This guy's fucking genuine. Like, he says it how it is. He's not afraid to stand up, he's not afraid to speak truth. He's not afraid to own his fuck ups. He will fall on his sword so he can rise up, rebirth who he is, and lead and become a fucking better man. Because Al's not perfect either, but he's also true and genuine and he wants me to win. I've said this in episodes before. This is the change the world needs. And it's not kicking back singing Kumbaya. It's going, hey. And it's not just going, look, I'm not a lawyer. Like, I know that things are fucked up when it comes to courts and father's rights and whatnot. But this is for me coming back to center and going, what can we control? What can we do? Like, fuck off the extremities of feminism. Fuck off weak men who've been in power, who fucked us up because they have. There's been plenty of in the position of perceived power, in the constructs of society and how we've been conditioned. There have been lots of very poor leaders, very weak fucking men who've fucked us up. What can we control? What can we do? This is why I'm here, what we're pioneering. There's nothing close to what we're doing here in serving fathers on the inside and on the outside, member or not, this is who I am. This is what we do. I am part of the message. I am not the message. I'm not alone. This isn't the Al show, but I am part of the message. And I'm the vessel of life that's living and breathing this too. I can't fucking stand hypocrisy, man. That is rife throughout the world, more so now than ever before. Listen, always, always listen to your gut. Always listen to your intuition. When you're facing a problem and when you're looking to solve the problem, you've got to go upstream to the source and first ask, who is this man? Who have I become? What have I done in my life? Have I just settled? Have I just stopped? Have things been coasting along okay? And now I'm getting bitten in the ass. Because that's when you get stung, man. You're cruising, cruising, cruising. It doesn't mean like the coaches and the coaching staff might say, might say otherwise. It's a fucking whirlwind with Al. He's just like, what do they call me? I think my team called me the apologies if I get this wrong, especially FIFO workers or guys who work in the mines. But I'm a tunnel borer, I think is. Or I bore the tunnels and I'm that big fucking thing with all the teeth at the front that just goes pumping underground, just ripping the shit out of everything to just rip a massive tunnel and pathway. And then the team's behind me putting all the framework in. We're going for the diamonds, man. We're looking for the diamonds. We're in search and we're finding them. And I'm the big fucking tunnel borer, just pumping through at lightning pace. And everyone's behind me, go, fuck. This is where we're going now. I put up some framework and. All right, cool. This is what we've done. Fantastic. This is how we evolve the program again. Fuck out. We've just set this up and got. Okay, cool. This is how we upgraded again. This is how we upgraded again. But it's awesome because it seems like that at times. And I laugh with my team because they say that all the time, but it seems like this. But then we look over the course of a year, it's like, you know what? We've really consolidated. It's not that it's never enough or we've just tried, tested and failed. We just continually build and optimize and optimize and optimize like Michelangelo's David. But it's like a big sculpture of clay and we just carve and carve and carve. Alright, carve a bit more. And personally, I would have done a heaps fucking bigger package. Like, they didn't really. It Wasn't really well endowed, the poor bloke. I would have made it like a fucking weapon down there. But anyway, maybe they ran out of clay or stone, but essentially, maybe old mate just kept chipping away and making mistakes. All jokes aside, this comes down to who. This comes down to who. Who are you turning up as day in and day out, that's just a centimeter, a millimeter, an inch, just that tiny bit better. And you might not feel that way on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, but Friday you stand up and you want to be a little bit better than Monday or a little bit better than Wednesday. And who do you continually just turn up and chip away at to improve? So when the shitstorm hits, when this new problem comes, when this old problem comes back, when this problem resurfaces, when this problem gets thrown in your face, when you create a problem, you've built not only the resilience and steel and fortitude to handle it, but you've also built the skill set of time, of energy, of speed to be able to handle it physically, mentally and emotionally. So you can stay the course or get back on the course. Stay on the path or get back on the path. Keep moving through love and leadership, keep leading through action, keep showing courage, keep moving forward and keep growing and improving and delivering results inside of your life. It's imperative to your success. This is the epiphany that hit me. I'll share it with you now. I'm sure I'll refine this because I think this will be a phenomenal quote. And this has nothing to do with just your family, has nothing to do with just your physical health, has nothing to do with just money. All of them. Family, self and service. One, one of the key factors. I say key because like I said, there's only a few. It's very simple, doesn't mean it's easy. But one of the key factors to having a hugely successful life is, is your capacity to handle problems. One of the key factors, one key factor to having a hugely successful life in your life, yes, you, your life is your ability, your capacity. So not just ability, how well you can handle a problem, your capacity, how many you can. They keep fucking coming at you. They keep getting thrown at you. You create them yourselves, your workers, your colleagues, your wife, your children, fucking bill down the road. They keep coming at you. Your next door neighbor keeps coming. Not just your ability, but your capacity to handle problems and solve them. One key factor, and I'd say that's probably one of the biggest. It's a skill Set like everything, but having a gift or, you know, building. Building a product or a service or adding value, that's how you add value. The greater the problems that you can solve, the higher your value perceived and real inside of yourself, your family and society. If I ran a program right, high performance father. What we're going to do, we're going to help you save five minutes a day, lose 300 grams of weight, and teach you how to say hello to your wife. It's a $300,000 program. Give me money. Fuck, man. I'm not saying they're not valuable. I mean 300 grams lost. Well done. Fantastic. You've said hello to your wife properly. Awesome. I'm not saying that I'm looking for bigger problems either. This is the natural evolution of who I become and the capacity of value we can offer to add and create transformations inside of these men's lives and their families. That's a big thing, man. That's a big play. It's a big call. What we do is large, but one of the key factors to you having a successful life, a massively successful, a hugely successful life, comes down to your capacity to handle problems. So who's facing these problems? Go upstream to the source. Okay, well, let's break this down like I said. How do we develop this? Well, who's facing these problems is a man. Yes, you. A man with many identities, many faces, many hats. But at the core level, what makes the man? Back to our connection formula. Energy plus skill sets over time equals connection. So let's break those three down. The problems men face and how to solve them. Your capacity to handle problems firstly comes down to your physical, mental and emotional energy. What's your physical energy like? Don't sit there saying, life's really fucking hard, Al. When you're rolling into bed and rolling out of bed, you're getting into bed at 11:30, watching fucking Netflix and bullshit, or on your phone scrolling late at night, fucking your sleep up. And your morning routine consists of just rolling out of bed, smashing coffees, having some fucking toast with a bit of Vegemite, and off you go to work. And you have some more fucking cookies and cappuccinos with sugars and milk and everything else. And you get those little fucking Kingston biscuits, you know, the Anzac ones with the chocolate in the middle, the anise. Fucking beautiful. Awesome, Delicious. Keep fucking pumping them in here. Oh, what have we got? We got Scotch fingers. Excellent. This will charge me up for the rest of the afternoon. Oh, no, I'm tired. Here we go. Another coffee Come on, mate. Physical, mental and emotional energy, everything. Your physical health. I said this a while ago and people didn't quite understand what I meant. Everything can be a foundation around mental health, emotional health, but your physical health is the only keyword, is only. Physical health is the only foundation from which everything can get uplifted from. Think about that. Physical health is the only foundation from which everything can uplift from mental health. Yeah, mental health can be great. That can help with your mindset, your state of mind, your thoughts, your emotions. But just because you've sorted your mental health doesn't mean you've gone and fixed your fucking body and done a training or done a session or an exercise regime or eaten better food or you've primed your mindset to do it, but you haven't fucking done it, have you? So you might think you're in a better position to eat well, exercise, create space, go for a walk. You haven't fucking done it yet though, have you? You've just addressed mental health. Same with emotional health. You're looking after your emotional health. Yeah, that could get you more motivated to exercise, that could get you more motivated to, to think better, to plan, to journal. But you haven't fucking done it yet, have you? But on the flip side, you go and do a training like you go and do a workout, go for a walk, eat really good food, dialing your morning and night routines when you do that shit physically, the absolute fucking immediate return. Immediate return. This isn't a fitness program either, but fuck, our energy protocol is massive. It blows away any gym, health and fitness training. Fucking leaves them for dead, man. It's insane what we do just in that energy pillar alone. But everything you do immediately and absolutely and directly, as soon as you do it, you don't even have to think, as soon as you do that, it immediately directly impacts your emotional and mental health, your emotional and mental energy. That's what I mean. Physical health is the only foundation from which everything lifts up on immediately. Look at Stephen Hawking. His body was fucked. The NH Health National Health Service over in the uk, he worked with them fucking day and night all the time. This is a guy whose body's fucked. And one of the guys, one of my old trainers, as a smartass is like, oh, I'd argue that, you know, look at Stephen Hawking's one of the greatest minds ever, you know, and he said that. But then I think he did mention that he did try to focus on being as healthy as possible. So not quite fucking sure why he said it. It doesn't make any sense. He sort of negated his own argument. The point is this. Challenge me on it, mate. Happy, happy to go toe to toe, but it'll be fucking squashed very quickly. Have a look at Stephen Hawking and how his body was. And he still invested in getting professionals around him to develop and refine and optimize what he could do within the scopes of his physical body, within the scopes of his physical and chemical and nutritional makeup, from which I argue. Okay, he could have had the greatest mind ever, but he had the greatest mind ever. Why? Because he fucking looked after that shit. He sorted that out. He sorted out his body as best as he could. He saw it as nutrition, had professionals around him helping him with his physiotherapy and physical health as best as they could with the condition and circumstances that he had. If he didn't, well, maybe he would have lived 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, less so even for someone like Stephen Hawking. The only reason why he lasted as long as he did is why? Because the foundation of his physical health within the scope of his life was nourished, nurtured and invested in. Gentlemen, who's facing these problems? Where are you at with your physical, mental and emotional energy? You must fill them up. You need a massive gas tank to be able to perform. Otherwise you don't have the endurance, you don't have the stamina, you don't have the ability to handle the problems you face. And I get it, man, I'm on your side. Some of the problems our wives dish up are fucking bullshit. Sometimes Kieran will come up with problems. I'm like, fuck, man, that's not. You're kidding, aren't you? You're gonna waste my time and my words on this. Same with the children and same with us. We can do that. Very rare for me these days. I feel like a very old wise man now because I just don't have time to fuck around. And I don't want to either. I feel blessed. I haven't had to wait till I was 60, 70, 80 to realise that. So when I look at problems these days, I'm almost non reactive to them when I have, because I face problems too. They've been pod, man, oh man, you know how much I fucking. If you've listened to me long enough, you know how much if I'm addicted to growth, I fucking hate waste. I cannot stand waste. I can't stand it. There have been podcasts I'll need to check right now. Yep, plugged in the sound is on. There have been podcasts, there have been videos, there have been coaching videos where I have put everything I've put, man, I put everything into it. Like, oh, the recording stopped. Oh, the sound. The microphone wasn't plugged in properly, so it's all muffled. And in times of that's happened, I'll be like, oh, you motherfucker. Oh, that was so good. That fucking presentation, that episode, that coaching, that was. That was amazing. I did that. And it's the anger. The rage is real, man. I'm like, not only was that awesome, but it's wasted. But I need to redo it, which costs more time. I need to redo it again in something I shouldn't have had to do again. They used to come and then I would get crazy, angry, crazy. It doesn't happen anymore. It's like, okay, that's the reality. All right, stand up, Go again. I'm going to make it even better. I'm going to make it even better. Every time when I face a problem, I'm like, well, on the other side of this problem's a solution, right? On the other side of this problem is progress. Why the fuck I'm going to sit there and acknowledge the problem and just sit on that problem, get fucking past it and move on like lightning speed. Lightning speed. That doesn't mean I try and rush things or put a timer on it. My children may have problems. They may have traumas or traumatic situations, circumstances with other kids at school, falling, injuries, or I don't just brush past them. And you're not here to solve everyone's problems either, which I'm going to dive into and dial in. But the reality is I can handle this stuff. Why? Because my physical, mental and emotional energy is high. It's massive. It's through the roof. I create space for myself. I monitor my thoughts and my environment. I don't let people in who are bullshit into my head, into my heart, into my mind, into my eyes. No see ya. Why? I trust my intuition, my gut. Always trust your intuition, man. You know, deep down, you know, don't overrule that shit with thought. This isn't emotional. This isn't emotional reactions to situations. This is your feel, your gut feel and instincts and intuition. My physical, mental and emotional energy is very high. Energy plus skill sets over time equals connection. Second one. Skill sets. What are you spending that time on? What are you spending that energy on? How much energy do you have? Physical, mental and emotional energy? Very high. Awesome. How much do you have? Okay, now what are you spending it on? What are you spending that energy on? Because it depletes. Mine isn't high all the time. It depletes at the end of the day. I'm fucking tired, man. I need sleep. I want sleep so my physical, mental and emotional energy goes down. But I can sustain it longer than most people I know, which means subconsciously and flipping the subconscious on its head. So habitually I'm in a position where I can handle the stress, the shitstorms, even when I'm tired. That's why I'm successful. My capacity to handle problems is big. Many problems. Large problems, small problems. Invest in yourself to build your physical, mental and emotional energy. And then skill sets. What are you doing with that energy? And then what's the timeline? What's the time span? What's the time frame? Deadlines are powerful things. Are you setting up an A to B? A direct path? Do you have clarity? Are you measuring this? What are you doing with your morning and night routines? What are you doing with your habits? Your structure and order of time. Energy plus skills over time. Time is really about you getting control back and mastering your time. Don't waste it. What are you doing with your habits? What are you spending your time on? You've got a thousand minutes a day. Cool. Where are you putting that? Where are you placing that? Why? What does that look like? So, energy plus skills over time. How much energy do you have? What are you spending that energy on? What time frame, pattern of performance, system behavior, frequency. Habit. When are you doing it? What's your mental attitude or approach? What's your behavior like? Frequency. Okay. How much or how little do you need to do it? Habit. Are you rinse and repeating the first three. So it is a part of your belief system, a part of your identity. A part. Starting to sound Kiwi. Part of your identity, bro. Part of your identity. It is literally who you are. Sorry for our Kiwi mates and Reuben Peniamina, one of our members. I fucked up your last name, man, but I'll never get that wrong again. I got it right then, didn't I, bro? My man. Time, timeline, deadlines, all of that equals connection. What's the type of connection? What's the depth of connection? How connected are you to yourself, to life, to the problems that you face, that you can absorb, dissolve, solve, move past, move beyond. When you do this for yourself and you sort your own shit out, guess what? You can handle other people's problems better, man. You have no idea how heavy some of the shit is that I Hear doesn't mean I'm not connected, doesn't mean I'm not empathetic. And it doesn't mean I don't try to help if that means just being a sounding board, listening or getting a strategy in place. And it doesn't mean I just wash my hands of it and disappear and it doesn't exist. But I have the frame. And still to not let that pull me into a state of going, man, that's fucking heavy stuff. And it lowers my state. I'm strong. I can handle it. I can help. I can help them move through. I can help them solve their problems. It's a powerful thing. You build that steel, that resilience, that stability, cool, calm, collected inside of yourself. That becomes your power. That's leadership. That converts. That's attractive. Other people want it, others see it, they value it, they respect it. One of the key factors to a hugely successful life is your capacity to handle problems and then solve or dissolve them. Some of these problems, they're not yours. It's very hard as men because we break our backs trying to fix and solve people's problems and sacrifice for the family. I get all that, man. Doesn't mean I've never sacrificed for the family. It's why I talk about not sacrificing for the family, because you sacrifice yourself and the family. Naturally, as men, we take it on board. We want to fix, we want to help, we want to fix things. Some of those problems, man, some of those problems, they're just not yours to take. Some of the problems you face, you're presented with, given to you, thrown on you, thrust upon you, dumped on you, pushed in front of you. They're not yours to take hard with those close to you. I get it, man. Your wife, your children. This is the skill set, right? Energies and skills. This podcast, Taking Action, our high performance father program, continually innovating, adapting, pivoting, changing your approach. Don't take it all. Don't take none. I'm not saying when your wife comes to your problem, you just wash your hands. No, no, fuck that. It's your problem, not mine. But there are so many problems in this world that are not your problem. It's not your burden to carry. I don't care how big your shoulders are. I got fucking very big shoulders. You can't. You can't carry it all, man. You cannot carry it all. So some of the problems, you need to dissolve. And I tell you what, the tribe on the inside, I bleed for them. My family, I bleed for them. Most people who fly in and out of my life or come from nowhere or just try and take. Or this, I'm happy to serve. We've got the podcast. We've got YouTube. I'm not saying you have to give me money to get my attention. I'm here, man. I'm here for you right now. Members listen to this. Non members listen to this. Members on the inside who listen to this, they get a different caliber of value from this because they get it. They're aligned, they're in tune. Not that you don't get it if you're not a member, but it's a different. This podcast serves them a little bit differently. But essentially, when I've got people, strangers, like, I'm not even talking about fathers. I'm talking about just in society, different places, shopping centers, anywhere school, picking up my daughter. When I get people, like, trying to dump their problems or they're trying to pull me into. I mean, it doesn't even really happen anymore. I think people just sort of. Not that I'm intimidating, even though I'm a big dude, I don't try and be intimidating. Just dissolve them. They're just. It's like, sorry, it's not mine to have. Not mine to have. There are a lot of problems out there. Because this is an important lesson to wrap this up, what I said just then, go inside yourself first and ask yourself the question, what are the problems that you are creating yourself? Because I tell you what, a lot of the problems that you create, don't worry about everyone else throwing the problem. A lot of the problems you create in yourself, what I just said, you need to have that conversation with you, man. You need to dissolve them. There are so many problems. This is why the last episode was pretty important. It was around perspective and perceptions, how you choose to see things and a man and his stories. There are so many things that we cook up and you just accept as truth, you believe as truth. Stop breathing truth into your problem. Because here's the interesting part, and I only just thought of that, then. This is what I love about this stuff, right? Even though I'm not listening to you, me speaking to you helps me go back in again and look at things. When you solve a problem, the problem's gone. Might come back, who knows? But that problem, when you're solving a problem, it's fucking gone, man. Which means you don't have a problem anymore or you don't have that problem anymore. So when you have a true and genuine problem and you fucking conquer it, it's no longer your reality. So stop breathing bullshit into your fucking head and making the problem so truthful. The problem might be part of your reality right now, today, this minute, this week, this month. But as soon as you step over that hurdle or punch that brick wall down or run around the brick wall, climb the brick wall, climb over it, whatever it may be, bulldoze the fucker down. As soon as you conquer that problem, it's gone. So spend more time on destroying and tearing apart and breaking down and conquering that problem. Spend more time on that than you do on breathing life into the problem itself and that monster, that beast, will die. It's almost like so many people that. It's almost like their problems are on life support. You're the fucking nurse. Stop attending to it. Like, that's probably. Yeah, I don't know if that's a good example or not, but it's almost like you like Frankenstein, right? It's almost like you got a problem, you're fucking bringing the thing back from the dead. You're bringing it to life. Stop acknowledging, probably accept. You can acknowledge and be aware, but stop accepting. Stop accepting the problem you're currently faced with and conquer the fucker and put it to bed once and for all. Comes back, no, I'm going to put you to bed again, once and for all. Different. One comes up, I'm going to put you to bed as well, once and for all. Another one comes up, I'm going to conquer you. As soon as you conquer these problems and they dissolve and they disappear, it's no longer reality. It doesn't exist. It's done. Think about that, man, as we wrap this up. One of the key factors to a hugely successful life is your capacity to handle problems. Some of these problems are not yours to hold onto. And that starts first and foremost with the problems you're creating inside your own head. Start dissolving them, man. Are they really a problem? Is that really the truth? Stop feeding yourself that story. What can I do about it? Stop fucking sitting on it. Stop harboring, get yourself together, get your act together and fucking conquer it. Or if it's not real, dissolve it and move on. Your capacity to handle and either dissolve things that cannot, should not, will not be real anymore in your life, or solve and add value to your life. Solve the problem and add value to others. Solve the problem and add value to others that you love and care about. Your family, yourself and your service. The three circles. I hope this serves you well. The problems men face and how to solve them. This is how you solve them. Firstly, go upstream to the source and ask the question, who is facing these problems? And is this a man who is investing in his physical, mental and emotional energy? Is he developing the right skill sets? Does he have control and mastery over time? He's not wasting it on bullshit. That doesn't matter. He's got his morning and night routines dialed in. He has as much control as possible in life, and he has as much power as possible in life in what he can, can control physically, mentally and emotionally coupled with skill sets, how he organizes his time, and how connected he is to himself and to his life. If you haven't at least gone there first, fuck, mate, you're setting yourself up to fail. It'd be almost like, okay, I've got a problem I face. All right, well, here's a pill. Here's a pill that's going to make your problem go away. Like, it's, you know, here's a problem. Bill at work is being an asshole. And I keep bringing up Bill, sorry, sorry for the bills out there. Jimmy. Jimmy's at. Sorry for the. Jimmy's out there. Jimmy's at work. He's a bit of a fuckwit and tool. And this is. All right, here's a pill. Take this pill and the problem goes away. It's like, well, is that really what. You can't sit back on your hands and think that that's just the pathway in the process and looking for the quick fix or the easy kill, because it does. It doesn't exist. And thinking that something like that, you can't outsource your skill set and ability to handle problems. But those who are massively successful, they have a capacity not only to handle their own problems as well as dissolve problems that should never arise because they reorganize their life and have control, but they also can do that for others. That's what I do. It's why I'm here. So I'm the alignment coach. Take this man, take this episode with two hands and look inside of your life and go, okay, what are the problems that I'm cooking up myself? I need to dissolve. What are the problems in others that are not mine to take? And then what are the problems in others that I need to rewire how I can approach them with my children, with my wife, with my workers or colleagues, with my clients or customers that I serve, that the greatest way I can handle that is actually going back inside myself again first and making sure I'm priming myself physically, mentally and emotionally and giving back to me. So I'm 100%, so I can give them 100. I'm getting better at what I do and developing skill sets, and I'm organizing my time to prioritize on the most important things in life and deliver value, efficiency and effectiveness with everything that I do. You do that, mate, and I promise you, your value goes up. Not just for yourself, not just financially, not just emotionally, not just spiritually, not just physically, all of them. That's connection. You have a greater level of connection to life. You have a greater level of connection to create life, overcome the hurdles, the obstacles, the problems. And when you do that, that's attractive. That's power, that's presence. You can't be present if you don't have this. If you have this in play, you are more present with your children, with your wife, with yourself. You don't address that. First, though, who is the one facing the problems? You can kick and scream and bitch and moan all you want, but when you start to point the finger outwards, you become a fucking hypocrite. Because all the problems you're facing without first addressing what you can do inside of your own personal power first, it's just a lie. You could have done more. You could have been more, you could have shown up, you could have turned up. When you put that hat on, when you walk through that office, when you walk through our door to come home, what have you done about it? Don't fucking kick and scream and point at the problems, how hard they are, if you're not even sorting your own shit out first with your morning and night routines and how you turn up, how you communicate, your skill set, how you handle your triggers, your awareness, whether it's the tribe, high performance father, what you do, the right coaches in your corner, everything around to help you stay aligned with how you can continually tap into your personal power and then leverage and use that to create and empower others. Because you're the leader. You're the one who's one level above the chaos. You're the one with stability. You're the one who gives certainty in uncertain times. You're the one who provides the pathway. You're the one who helps solve the problems because you are the one. And you're the one for a reason. And the reason is because you fucking built that one. And you keep building him. You keep investing in him. And that's why he is a higher energy source. That's why he's the leader. And that's why you are the father, the husband, the man the leader that society and this world needs. Not tomorrow, not yesterday. Right fucking here and right now. And that's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this episode and got some golden nuggets with possibly one or two aha moments. If you truly loved and enjoyed what you listened to, then I want to invite you to share this episode with someone who you know needs to hear this. It could be your brother, friends, colleagues, your uncle, even your wife. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that none of us are alone in the hardships we face. But the solution to getting back on top, winning can start with a gift from someone else. And that gift could be an episode like this because another man transformed is another family saved? Which is exactly what we're all about, thriving and winning in life. There is no alternative. It's possible. It has been done. It can be done, so it should be done. I appreciate your support in spreading this message. Cheers, mate.