197. Becoming The Chief

This episode is brought to you by our high performance Father coaching program where we help men juggle business, marriage and fatherhood to create the greatest balance and impact life has to offer. This is done with our philosophy that is at the core of achieving these phenomenal results in family, self and service and that is investing in yourself first so you can be a true 100% for yourself, but just as importantly for those around you that you love and care about. If you're a father struggling with choosing between your work work and your family, lacking balance and connection in your relationship, what your children need, your own needs whilst building prosperity in your business, head over to highperformancefather.com fill out the form and I'll have my coaches contact you to see how we can help you and if you're a good fit, what it looks like to join the winner's circle on the inside. But for now, take the time to yourself for yourself and enjoy this episode. Becoming the Chief welcome to an episode where we're talking about how to land smack bang in the middle of becoming the chief and maintain that status of being the chief inside of your life, inside of your families as well. And essentially in your part that you play in the world doesn't mean the world can only have one chief. It doesn't mean that your chief status comes at the cost or detriment of other chiefs out there. But essentially this is really building on each hat, each role we play, each identity shift that we adjust to. You know, the way that I am with you is obviously different to the way that I am with my children. Values can be the same, values can align and core principles. But what we're talking about is each hat that we wear. It was an incredibly powerful episode and, and I think it's back around 140. So it's. It's been a minute, gentlemen. It certainly has since our very, very popular the Viking and the Panda podcast episode. And I feel like it just, it keeps coming to the surface. You've probably heard me mention it several times, I'd say, in some of the latest podcasts. So I definitely, I feel like it deserves more attention because this is what life is about, right? It's about striking that balance. Not just in family, self and service, not just in the work that we do, the time we spend on our work, the time we spend on ourselves, the time we spend on our children, but actually striking that balance in the adjustments to your identity. You are a chameleon. You need to be like. You can't. This is what gets me? And look, there's men that I respect, and I think that they've created great success in their life. I just feel like they. Maybe they haven't had the time to peel the layers back on the words that they speak at times. But how you do one thing is not how you do everything. That's bullshit. That just does not make sense to me. It really doesn't. It's impossible to apply that in life. It literally. It is literally impossible. You cannot physically and literally do that. Maybe they're talking about values, what I mentioned earlier. Maybe. But here's the problem, though, with these sorts of catchphrases or war cries or things that have lasted many, many years, soon they lose their luster of just something to think about. Because the more you think about it, the more you think, well, that doesn't make fucking sense. There's so many different moving parts in life. Like, we've all got 24 hours in a day. No, we don't. If I want to maintain. This is a standard I want to set for myself, which I don't hit that often because it's hard. If I want to maintain 8 hours of sleep because of my dynamic of the household and the children, even with Knight Rider and hit the Sack Tee, which. Oh, man, that's been my saving grace, given the conditions. Yeah, if I want eight hours of sleep, I need to be in bed for ten and a half hours. I'm up two and a half hours every night. So I guess I would argue to someone who says, you've got 24 hours a day. And from a position of a man who's very dialed in with his morning night routines. Well, I don't. I've got 21 and a half, mate. And his argument might be, well, no, just sleep less. And it's like, no, no, no, all that around Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sleep five hours. You got more in the day, that's all. And anyone else who promotes that, who's a big wig or Hollywood or something, I' sure they've got their own fucking maids, their own chefs and cooks. They're having their power naps or they're on the fucking juice or the gear or they're taking shit that just bounces them back and they're like fucking teenagers again. There is no fucking way that I believe that for a second. And look, some humans can run on less, some can run on more. Some have different levels of mitochondria, which is the cellular or the, I guess, the power production of the cell, and some don't have as much. And one example of that, quickly, not to sidetrack, is when I, working with Shannon, who formulates our supplements. He's been on the episode many episodes ago. Definitely want to get him on again. He's probably the most knowledgeable man I know in the field of being a naturopath and clinical nutritionist, for sure. He did some work with Mundine on his fights and especially his fight coming up to Danny Green several years ago. And he used to say, man, like, this guy's like. He's like, I couldn't believe it. Like, Chock could be on, like, Chalk could have a fucking KitKat and a red Bull. And he'd turn up to training. This is a guy who would train for hours every single day, and I'd be like, fucking blown away. But then with some studies, other bits and pieces do. He's just genetically an absolute freak. And the way that his mitochondria functions, the way that his cellular production of his red blood cells and whatnot operates is. He's a fucking performance machine. And it is what it is. That is absolutely the exception of the rule when we're talking about, you know, yeah, just sleep less and do more. But this is the truth. And on that note, actually, I got to let you know, you guys know, like, I know that a lot of you guys obviously are awakened to the shows of whether it's Hollywood even sporting to a degree. Absolutely. I mean, wrestling's a given, right? And. And drama is what sells new papers and all that sort of shit. But Mundane is one of the most fucking humblest blokes. And some of the stories that Shannon would share with me about how he gives so much of his money to his family and to the indigenous community. It's insane. Like. Like he's in all of my interactions, meeting him a couple of times, very crazy, crazy humble. But he was a showman. He did what he needed to do, right? To provide and protect for his family and his communities, which obviously leads to the monetary system and how we operate on this planet being something that successful, if he's going to operate the way that he did. Just on that note, you know, like, it's so easy, isn't it, to just judge people when you see what you get shown. And that might sound a bit funny, but I want you to think about that. I want you to think about when you listen to these episodes consistently enough, where you form your own judgments on yourself, your life, my words, your perspectives, and it's fantastic. But just from one or two Points where you may not have a level of familiarity, but you do. Because the familiarity you hold is with fucking Channel 7 or Channel 10. Just think about that. What are they showing me that they want me to know? What is the agenda behind that? And that sounds so silly, right? Like, what are they showing me that they want me to see? That's right. They're only showing you what they want you to see. So when we're looking at this, I tell you what, there's plenty of heartfelts, you know, save the cat in the tree, well done firemen, and all that sort of stuff. But that stuff is so fucking rare these days in being publicly promoted. Because people naturally, as humans, whether it's fight or flight or our own survival instincts or approach, are naturally drawn into things that lead to not just drama, but worry, fear, doubt, livelihood, security, yes, stability, safety, all that sort of shit. I mean, the last two years, if anything's promoted that on an extreme level. And that's why I refuse to watch the news, listen to the radio, or pick up a newspaper. It's time I'll never get back. If something's important enough, don't worry, I'm sure someone will let me know. I'm sure I'll find out about it. In the meantime, I'm happy for those people, if they want to live in fear, to go scrounging around and getting all the information, then bring it to me. And then in my stable state of where I am focusing on my reality, I can process it from a better position. But just on that, like, that's something to be very cautious of, you know, and you'll see that with anyone you know, I don't like. Another example is what. What Will Smith did. I mean, that's just. That's just fucking childish, you know what he did? I mean, you're looking at comedian on comedian, right? Their whole life is a joke and a series of jokes. So I look at that. But again, I can judge the actions. I don't know who Will Smith is. He's certainly not my hero. I mean, I don't really have any heroes anymore when it comes to the light of what I was raised with. Because you grow up and you see life for its reality. So, men, as we hook on into this episode, let's become the chief, becoming the chief. We're going to be talking about the different identities as a man, as a husband, as a father, as a business owner or someone out in the world of business. Like life. Life is business, right? You're making sales transactions, providing Value trades, negotiating in its entirety. It's what life is. We're looking at this with a quick sort of rehash on what the Viking, what the panda is, but just a couple of different, I guess. A couple of different. Like I'm a very visual learner and a couple of analogies. And one of our members brought up a great one and he's a newish member too, which was very, very awesome. Or newish. Yeah. Less than two weeks and, you know, and a couple of things have just to mind. When I was caravanning, when I was away and just talking about how in myself and with clients, how to be the chief, like becoming the chief inside of your life. And I'll actually start. I'll start in reverse order. This is something I wrote with one of my members as I was listening to him make notes. And this is a very powerful quote that I'll kick this episode off with and almost certainly come back to it at the end. It's not always how much you do. It's the passage of time between what you do that will naturally allow things to evolve. I want you to think about that for a second. Are you rushing and racing too quickly to try and get a result? Are you doing fuck all? And you wonder why the result hasn't landed in your lap, let alone within QE of your position? It's not always how much you do. It's the passage of time between what you do. So let's break that down. It's not always how much you do, but it's a passage of time. Passage of time between what you do. You've got to be fucking doing something, man. You can't do nothing and expect life to flow. That just doesn't make any sense. The default for life is loss. It is this constant struggle. You cannot have one without the other. You cannot have it without that resistance. Just like me touching this table. I'm technically not even touching this table. When you go at, I guess at an atomic level, what you're seeing is there's a slight space and there is a charge that's happening. Positive, negative, don't quote me on this, but there's absolutely. I remember learning this, a charge that's happening where I'm technically not touching this table. There is. There's an invisible little force field where I'm actually not even touching this table, lifting it. There is a cause and effect, the resistance. My muscles will flex. I'm going to provide more power in lifting this table up than what the gravitational pull or the magnetism. Possibly the magnetic pull of the table into the earth. You've got to be doing something. It's the passage of time between what you do. It's not always how much you do. It's the passage of time between what you do that will naturally allow things to evolve. That's a very powerful quote because I look at that, I'm like, you know what? Sometimes you think of this. Like I said, we've got a few analogies here today. You've started the car, you've put it in gear, you're driving, you've taken a couple of turns. The car's running at 60 now and it's straight road. Are you squeezing the wheel as hard as you fucking can and still turning left and right, creating some sort of snake trail along a straight road? Doesn't mean when you go upstream and do the hard work, there's nothing else to do. But you've got to question yourself on this, man. Maybe I can just let go of the wheel a little bit, like in that position. What would you be doing? I mean, sometimes I'll be driving with my knees when I'm quickly grabbing something, but essentially that's not for a long period of time. My legs are long enough. I can do it. No, but essentially it could just be a thumb and a finger. You know that you're just in cruise mode, you're cruising, doesn't mean you're switched off by any means. And I'm not jovial or in a relaxed state where I'm taking for granted the death machine that this car can become, even at 60 kilometers an hour, especially when I've got children in the car. But do I need to squeeze the wheel when I'm towing the caravan? Yeah, you know what? You guys who've towed, pulled caravans, you know, that doesn't matter how strong your car is, man. There's a bit of wind, something kicks up. Absolutely. You need to have your hands on the wheel. All right, More skin in the game, more on the line, but essentially more load, more resistance. When I'm just driving the car, yeah. Thumb and fingers, sometimes just holding the base of the wheel, sometimes up top, moving around, elbow might be resting on the dash. You need to look inside of your life and go, all right, well, how much of a grip do I actually need right now? How much force do I need to apply? Or is the work done? And now there's a monitoring, there's a continual alignment or realignment to allow a passage of time to then see how this will naturally evolve and unfold here's my destination, here's the truth. This allows things to pop up to the surface and the truth to be revealed as well. Instead of you trying to fucking squash or suffocate what you believe to be a truth, which unfortunately, even if it does become true, will alienate you against everyone else that you love and care about. That's an interesting one as well. Without fucking squashing and forcing people into agreeance. Let's, let's just let it. What's the common denominator here? Don't worry, we'll see, we'll find out. I don't need to go out parading around with a, with a, you know, with a microphone. So, gentlemen, becoming the chief. Let's have a look at this. Becoming the chief. Two points I just wrote here. Again, a lot of this stuff is channeled through the members themselves. I literally. It's not. When I turn this piece of paper, I've got the words becoming a chief. Podcast. Action, no action. Viking, Panda, man. Husband, father, business. That is all I'm working with. It's all I'm working with. It's all I need. Start with this. Who do you want to be in this lifetime? Think of. And this isn't a, hey, let's go and dive deeper. Think of words like what comes to mind? Who defines you? What defines you? What does that look like? Because first we need to look at, when we're looking at the Viking and the Panda, we need to err on the side of caution of where you may be tippy toeing around or fully immersed all in on. I'll tell you right fucking now, no one's going to look at me and go, al was a nice guy. And you might have seen this around a little bit. You might have seen this pop up. You might be getting this feel from my episodes. But I'll tell you what, mate, this is about not, not pulling away from the value that being nice can provide to the world. But this is about not being defined in a majority setting as a majority, as a nice guy, our top bloke, you know, and really nice too. And it's like, yeah, if you could describe that in one word. Well, 98 of our was nice. This is my point, gentlemen. This doesn't mean on the other side, I want guys to go, oh, who was our. Oh man, absolute tyrant, man, that Viking, that guy would tear to pieces. He did a couple of good things though, like, because of that. But oh man, you know, I'll tell you what wasn't. This is what we're talking about in being the chief, you pull from both. The reason why that saying, and I wish I knew it before the whole nice guys finish last is not so much because of your characteristic or trait or ability to tap into. Because like I said, you're a chameleon. We all are. Like whether you think you've, you, you know, whether you think you're vanilla or not, you absolutely have different complexities, as we all do. And we've got simple areas, but different complexities which we tap into to put on different hats, different body language, posture, presence, tonality, actions, commitments, promises to your parents, to your grandparents maybe great grandparents. When you're really young, like you are something that is forged out of a collective of all of your experiences. And then at your consciousness has chosen yes or no to hold onto and to let go of what defines who you are and how you stand today. So I want you to think about that. What are some words that define you? What are some words that describe you? And I can hit all the common ones, you know, like leader and all that sort of stuff. But I'm just going to quickly bring up my journal. This thing doesn't leave my side. Now we've got new journals in. Fuck, these are amazing. So my key three at the moment is disciplined, speed and architect. Three key words define who I am and what I stand for. Now when I peel back, because I started actually doing all my three year goals and all that stuff again when I actually go back here at the start, I just want to share this with you because I want you to think about this as well. Key three and three, three words to describe who you've lived as and who you've become over the next three years. Truth, Transcendence. I want to improve, I want to evolve, I want to grow. And that's what that obviously is above what the standard is above even the physical rock. What does this look like? Well, my heart, my spirit, my mindset, my emotions, not just how fucking strong I am or how hard I can work. Transcendence. Truth. So I know it is real. Transcendence and honorable. That's a very interesting word. These are words that came through to me when I was sitting down in a good state with some 432Hz music just reflecting my time, no one else's. They came through key three and three. Three words to describe who you've been and are now to others. So that was for me, what are three words that would describe me to others? And that doesn't mean the others wouldn't but others change example and hope. I want a large portion of the energy that I'm going to express in this world that I'll never get back, especially in today and tomorrow and the next day. Things like this podcast is something that delivers a level of hope to the man out there listening to this, going, you know what? I can have a fucking better life, man. Like, I can tap into that Viking against the adversity, his little voice inside, cut that cunt in half and go, this is my fucking life. I want to stand up and have the life that I want this time, but be empathetic and emotional enough to my own needs and those I love and care about to navigate this and navigate these choppy waters, the storm that life can be in a way where everyone wins. I'm not jumping to some other side. It's lonely at the top on all that other bullshit. That's arrogance and ego coming into play. Do you really want to be alone? How do you know that's the top? You're on your own. You're just fucking convincing yourself. Are you, Hope? Well, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I'm certainly going to show you and provide some insights into a different perspective so you can find the path that will serve your position or situation or circumstance which creates change, Hope, example, change, truth, transcendence, and honorable. What do I need to do now? I've got to be very disciplined. How we're growing, what we're doing, what we're doing right now, and how we deliver our program and value and service to men. Speed. I've got to move fast, man. There are so many different areas where I need to pick up the pace and make sure that I'm in front of the game of life itself. And with these men, we're all winning. And moving together doesn't come at the cost of accuracy. So I wrote Architect. What am I designing? What am I drawing up? And what are we actually going to be building or executing on? So, gentlemen, what are some words that define you? How would you see yourself? Nice guys don't finish last. Why? Because if they are predominantly defining themselves as a wholesome and purely nice man, that is a lower level of energy that is almost passive. I know we might have slight variances of what we believe the definition of nice is, but I'm telling you, man, like, when it comes to women, when it comes to your own personal power, when it comes to business, when it comes to other people, nice guys do finish last. And I remember this quote. I'M probably gonna fucking botch it, but by Jordan Peterson. Very good. I like a lot of his stuff. And like everyone, there's things that I'm not completely aligned with, but there's definitely some great stuff in there. You know, a nice man is not a good man. A good man is a very dangerous man who has it under voluntary control. It's something like pretty close. I think I just about nailed it. But it's true. Like, a nice man is not a good man. Why? Because how the fuck are you going to lead anything through just being nice if you're just nice? If you look at the definition. Okay, let's bring it up. Love this. This is awesome. Let's bring it up. If we look up the meaning. And again, I don't agree with all of the. All the different areas or pathways to get definitions. Obviously you can look online, you can get a physical dictionary and so on and so forth. Giving pleasure or satisfaction? I mean, that sounds pretty good in the bedroom. But I tell you what I mean, that's, you know, is that. Is that. Is that a simple outcome for three to six minutes? That's third time round too, by the way. But honestly, like, all jokes aside, is that really. I know you fucking timed it. Don't lie to me. Don't sit there going, fucking, I can't believe Alice timed himself. I have. And I was actually surprised. I was like, fuck, that's not bad. Double digits. I'll take that. But I'll tell you what, man, you've never lived. You have never lived a day in your life until you've timed yourself for how long you can have sex anyway, all shit aside. Giving pleasure or satisfaction, Pleasant or attractive? Is it though? Is it attractive? Slight or subtle? I mean, yeah. Giving pleasure or satisfaction? I mean, are you giving that to yourself? Like, fuck. Maybe you can be nice to yourself. But you know what? Maybe you need to be firm on yourself sometimes. Maybe the nice is that burying the head in the sand, Everything will be all right, mate. We'll be okay one day. Sweeping shit under the rug. Turning a blind. Yeah. Pick your poison of self sabotage by not recognizing the absolutes in your life and the truth and the facts of where you currently are. I can be a very nice man, but I can be a very nice man who has incredibly fast gears and switches to make sure that whatever the agenda is at play here, whether I'm attached to it or not, could be letting some old lady cross the road in front of me. Fantastic. I'll sit there, you cross the road More than happy to be passive. Which comes at no chronic expense of my own. My personal integrity, my personal values. And what I'm talking about, man, is when you bite your tongue. This doesn't mean you go looking for fights. Viking and the Panda. When you bite your tongue, you need to be the chief in the middle. When you bite your tongue at the chronic cost of your own personal integrity and value, you are not respected. Which means when you're being disrespected and you're accepting that that's some bullshit patterning that you're putting into your wife and your children, all of a sudden you throw your hands in the air and you wonder why they're surprised. Or you. Or you get the wrong kind of feedback, or you get a. You cop some flack when you do stand up for yourself for once. Look at what you fucking did, mate. You provided the pathway. You provided the room. You gave the space. It was okay then, but it's not now. What's changed? Yeah, it's a fucking tough one for you to work through, my friend. You'll have to, though. If there's a lack of respect, it's usually because there's a lack of respect from within. So when we're talking about just this one word, be very cautious, man. What we're talking about is the panda. Now, I can be the panda. My kids rule the day on me at times. And they. You know, they'll jump on me. And I'm big and strong, but, Jesus, I'll jump and just try. They've got a real way, don't they? They either kick you in the nuts or they just drive the knees right into your spine. And I'll be laying there and I'll hear nothing. I'll be like, oh, silence is not a good thing. And then I'll just feel the pressure of two knifelike knees going right into the middle of my spine. Thank you, sir. Can I have another? Tell you what they certainly find. They find the spots, don't they? That's for sure. Little parts around the face and the eyes. And I don't know about you guys, but I've had my fucking eyes clawed out several times. I think the panda. The key here with everything is the how to and the when to. Well, how do I apply this? I do. You know what, Al? I'm too grumpy. I need to be the panda bore in the household. I've got too much of a gripper control. Fantastic. You, back to center. Let's find the chief. Doesn't mean you Swing one way or the other. A pendulum is not like a pendulum when we're talking about. This is not something that's great swinging from one to the other. There's extreme force one way, then the other. It's not a rhythmical, nice little thing that you're looking at sitting on your desk. You do not want that. When it comes to your emotional output and how you carry yourself, you can draw and tap into that. But some of you men might be the panda. You're like, man, I need to get some fucking Viking into me, Al. How do I do that? Go get a punching bag. Punch the fuck out of it. Like, you need to tap into some of your primal elements. That brings out a level of controlled aggression and an assertive nature that brings confidence. My brother is an Arakan specialist. Now, Arakan is like the Steven Seagal shit, but real. Not that. I mean, Seagal was a martial artist, but you know what I mean when it comes to. When it comes to the movies and you're just tapping the back of the head and tapping the cheek, and all of a sudden their necks are broken. He's a fucking freak. You know how many fights he's been in? None. Why? Because of how he carries himself. Like, they do scenarios where they literally hire nightclubs and they run live scenarios with the students. And he would. He'd fucking axe. Several. Like, half a dozen people would come to him and he'd fucking axe him in a heartbeat. So I'm very grateful that he's not upset with all the stuff I used to. Being eight years older than him, the shit I used to hack on him. Brotherly love, right? When we're younger, you probably kick my ass unless I got him in a bear hug or something. But that's definitely not something I want to test. So, gentlemen, when you are solid inside of yourself, you know, when you can Viking panda, pull from both sides, whether the extremities are necessary, given the conditions, or whether you're just moving. You're moving. Yeah. 10 degrees right, 10 degrees left. Maintaining that status of becoming the chief is not tying into ideologies or terminology or different things that define who you should be from some other fucking person's standards. Oh, it's so hard to find a nice guy these days. Well, maybe you're the fucking crazy bitch that needs to sort your shit out a little bit. And you might attract a nice guy, but you might attract a nice guy who's truly genuine. What you want. You want a fucking powerful man who can also meet your emotional needs. You don't want someone who's just supplicating to you on something you put a depreciating asset on, which is your looks, your beauty, your social status. So as you get fucking old and wither away, you're less valued in society. I'm talking about women here. All the while through those years, you've attracted all these blokes who put the same fucking value into your looks and your superficial status, which is why you're attracting the fuckwits. Because which man in his right mind would only ever appreciate that as being the wholesome level of value that the opposite sex or anyone can provide or offer the world? Maybe that's something you should look at, sweetheart. So, gentlemen, please understand when we're going through this, this is about empowering you, because the world's pretty fucked up. There are a lot of fucked up men, and there are a lot of fucked up women. I don't know who they are, so I'm not judging their identities. But I'll tell you what, I can certainly judge consistent actions, and I will do that. So when people look at me and they think, I judge, I don't know who you are. I'll fucking judge those actions, though. I've seen that action before. Doesn't matter if your name's fucking Bill or Teresa or Ben or Amy. I've seen those actions before. Like, they don't have to be you, but those actions are one of horseshit. And that's. That's not. Okay, that's not on. So for those of you listening to this, because there's no video, I'm pointing. I don't know why, but I was pointing at Amy and. And Ben. And this is a shout out to all the Bens in our tribe as well. It's crazy, isn't it? You know, we've got over 250 guys on the inside. You wouldn't believe it. 187 of them are Benz. It's crazy. Anyway, so if you're a Ben who's not a member, heed the call. It's time, Gentlemen, this is about empowering you to become stable inside of yourself and becoming the chief. How do I do that? Al, it starts with you. And a lot of this is from the inside out. I get that. But it starts with you having personal integrity, personal value, personal self respect, self respect, self value, self integrity, personal self. You. Your life, how you see things, how you operate. And that's the truth. Like a real woman wants a real man. I can be very nice. I can be super nice and lovey dovey and all that sort of shit with Corinne. And there's times where I'll slap her on the ass, grab her and say, tonight you are mine. And that's. Please understand this as well. Like, this isn't that whole fucking no means yes shit. We're men here. I'm not talking about going out on the fucking dance floor. There's a time when my wife wants to be taken by her king and there's a time where there's a dance and there's a time when she initiates it. I get it. It's hard at times. More often than not, we are initiating. It's a 10x for a 1x return. Is this just part of life? Probably is. Guys, I'll tell you what, like, you know, maybe some guys have women who are more sexually active. But again, as that has been one example, one, one prime element across the board you can create. If you have clarity, you can steer to a large degree the direction of the relationship for your needs, her needs, and finding a good sweet spot in the middle. I mean, if you had everything your way all the time, would you really be fulfilled and satisfied and happy or would you no longer value it? And this is an interesting thing. Like, people value what they invest in. So, like old love, getting makeup and shit, and I don't know, Botox or whatever it is that they do to their face and all that stuff done. Well, she's investing in that, right? So she's going to value that. So if someone else is valuing that, they're investing in that. But then that's just one element from which they hold a higher level on a pedestal. Perception of value. Usually when those things don't align is when the breakdowns come. But sometimes it's not even the alignment, it's questioning, why are you valuing that? You know, like, I'm not, I'm not a bad boy with fucking guns and in clubs and all that sort of stuff. Like, I'm someone who can protect and provide for his family. I can be strong with intent and be firm and be disciplinarian to my children when it's necessary, necessary and appropriate for them. But at the same time, as I leave the room or walk out of their bedroom turning the light off for the 12th time because they keep talking and laughing and playing, curl a little smile in my face to go fuck it. Crazy kids, right? Crazy kids. Whereas five seconds ago, what they saw was the Viking. That's control, man, being able to switch and switch gears quickly as necessary is needed. Especially when it comes to our children. You help give them a read on the play, but you're also transparent. Here's the read on the play. Hey, Daddy loves having fun with you and we've had a great time. We've had special time. You need to go to bed now. We don't want smacks, we don't want this, we don't want that. And you know, a pat on the bum. I mean shit man, I didn't even. Yeah counted on probably one hand. It's not necessary. Am I blessed and grateful for some of the times when I got a smack from. From mum or dad? Yeah, I am. You know, is it something that I believe that the beating and physical, physical alignment and adjustment to course correct is necessary? Definitely not, man. Like it's. It's nowhere near needed as much. But it's definitely not an illusional world where some people think that we're all just fucking in fantasy land. You can try and negotiate from the mental state of mind with a three year old that has no fucking idea on life. You know what I mean? Like there is the chief. Hey, Viking and Panda, you can be the chief right in the middle. I'll tell you what works really, really well. Just get a water bottle, man. Like fuck, that irritates them so much. It's so funny. It irritates the fuck out of them. I get a water bottle and just spray them with a bit of water. Like it's, it's so good. And it's a great pattern interrupt. Because a lot of the times there's just a self regulating that's needed when it comes to children anyway. This isn't about the kids or raising the kids. This is you becoming the chief. And that's one of the hats becoming the chief like we spoke about. It's not how much you do, it's the passage of time. So becoming the chief. I want you to think 500 year lifetime thousand year eyes. Imagine you're looking through the eyes of a man, of a king, of a chief that's 1,000 years old. What does that mean to you? That means you can be more patient. That means you do have experience. You have life experience. You can draw it from work or business into the household, vice versa. It means you can see through seasoned age eyes if the wrinkles haven't caved over and your eyelids are still operating. But no, you really can look through and go, hey, let's have a good look. Let's have a good look. And a good look is one through wisdom, through the chief, the man who can sit in the middle and draw a bit of Viking, a bit of panda. Almost like you're creating your own little recipe. We'll throw a little bit of Viking, a bit of panda mix that. Maybe it's a lot of Viking if there's a family threat or something else. Maybe it's a lot of panda. It's like, man, I'm in a position where, with. With my exercise or with my environment or where I'm at. It's fucking locking horns. It's a battleground, it's a war zone with my place of work and what I do. So when I come home, I'm not here to treat my children like fucking soldiers. I'm here to completely submit and be the panda. But then I'm here to be the Viking when my wife needs. Because maybe she's tired from disciplining the kids all day. This is a natural level of evolution for you. When I say evolution, what I mean is because I'm talking about intelligence. This is a natural level of intelligence that you will grow into, you will evolve with. Because what I'm explaining here, gentlemen, is a skill. It is a skill set. Being the chief isn't how much money you've made, how many runs you've got on the board, how much time you spend with the family, how big your fucking biceps are. Being the chief is the man who has the wisdom to apply the appropriate hat, the appropriate identity, the necessary and appropriate amount of energy required through love and leadership to have the vision and foresight of the perceived and most beneficial. Because if your kids are young enough, what they perceive to be the pathway they want, desire, might not actually be wholesome so they're perceived. But also having the foresight of their perceived and the most wholesome future, that's going to benefit them through your actions right now. Benefit your wife through your actions right now. Benefit your you through your actions right now. Your family through your actions right now. That is a skill. So the reason why men come to me and they're having trouble in their relationships or having trouble in their marriages, connecting with their children, not being present. I'll put this to you. If you're struggling to be present with your children, how often have you been present with yourself? It's a skill that you have no fucking experience with. Think about that. So when I've worked with hundreds and hundreds of men in their 50s, do I need to be in my 50s to apply the necessary skill sets towards the perspective, the actions and the habits that A man who's just joining in his 50s. No, of course not. It's a skill set of what you consume, what you're exposed to, and then the actions you take therefrom. So, gentlemen, if you don't even create space for yourself, take time out and have presence with you, how are you going to replicate that in sometimes a chaotic setting? The household with your children, 1, 3, 8 of them. Of course, you can't. Good luck. Willpower, discipline, self control. Good luck. Good luck using all of that. It's a skill. Same with your wife. You might have good communication skills, but if it's dialed into one channel, whether it's corporate, on the stock exchange, out on a work site, with tradies, how much of that can you transfer or convert into how you speak to your wife? So please know this, guys. Like when. When you're looking at becoming the chief, that in itself is a skill set. What's something you're piss poor at or you're stuck at? No worries. Why? What haven't you done? Okay, well, guess what? Here's the good news. You can build pretty fucking quickly. We help men reconcile their relationships. We help many men establish the relationship was toxic, and they move forward in the pathway, having gratitude and appreciation for the life that's been. But moving through to claim the second half. A lot of you guys right now are sitting at half time. Take the time. You're at halftime. Don't. Yeah, Rob. Boys chant. Yahoo. Let's get back out there. No, no, stop. Get in the chain sheds. Get some strapping or bandaging or. How's our team? We still got to, you know, depending on what sport we're following here. The bench is still full. Now, we lost one in the first half. No, you know exactly where you are. What's the score? Okay, this is where we're at. All right, sit down. Huddle. Who's around you? Who is your coach? Who's your trainer? Who's your strapper? Who's your physio? Like looking at the different parts of your life, you honestly think you're going to have a successful second half if you're sitting in the fucking dressing sheds by yourself? No chief there, man. No chief at all. We can be your co chiefs. Might be a case of too many chiefs, not enough Indians in other areas. But I'll tell you what, if the chiefs really knew what was good for them, all the chiefs of all the different tribes, guess what? They did. They came together, Man. Becoming the chief is a skill set. Communicating, developing the love language that Your wife speaks, not even just doing the free quiz and looking at it. Like actually applying that is a skill set. Recognizing that yours is different to hers, but doing something to meet in the middle is a skill set. If you have a specific way, that means connection, emotional attachment and love language to you and it's different to your wife, don't fucking change her to try and conform to yours. That's lazy. You get better at speaking hers and you get better at showing her and asking her to look into what yours is. I mean, yeah, it's a pretty ancient saying and it's a pretty simple one. Yeah, ask and you shall receive doesn't mean you're going to receive all the time. And what do you think asking actually means? Is it just yapping off a few sets of words? Off you go land in my lap. Maybe asking is channeled through some fucking hard work and grit or your smarts and building better social and self awareness, which is modern intelligence. Becoming the Chief comes down to you being a man who can sit in the middle. As a man, I'm willing to stand up for what's right. And if that means altercations and conflicts, then so be it. And this is important. This is at the cost of my personal integrity or values. I will stand for this instead of falling for everything you need to be that way. I'd rather fucking stand for something than fall for anything. But from the point of view of being a panda, as a man, there are times when it's like, well, you know what? I'm not going to give you the hard line or the firm word. I'm going to be the shoulder to cry on, the sounding board. I'm just going to be someone who listens and gives you the opportunity or the room or the space to vent, express and dump the toxic poison that's inside of you so you can reset and realign and move forward. There are times when I am the panda for the tribe. There are times when I am the Viking. But both of those hands connect to the center. Think of them as limbs come to the center, which is the Chief. And the Chief isn't so much your ability to express the Viking of a panda. The chief is knowing. Knowing which lever to pull, knowing which way to steer, knowing what energy. Remember, energy is why I can't stand the fucking news. Don't come at me with opinions as good for this. I don't give a fuck about that. My skill set is observing energy. It's why I'm the alignment coach. It's why I'm so good with helping men with their relationships. Observe the energy, words, actions, body language, potship body language, posture, history, passage of time, future focus. Where are we going? The chief. The awareness to know which one is important as a husband. The times when you need to stand up and go, no, no, no, this is. Look, this is not going on anymore. Your feelings are important. Fantastic. I'll recognize that. Which means, guess what? Unless we want to live in a house of fucking hypocrites, you need to acknowledge my feelings as well. So let's sit down and let's work through some things. And on the flip side, if you're engaging through actions, bitterness, resentment, holding onto shit, holding onto the past, or in any way causing some sort of detriment to the future, opportunity or possibility of your relationship with your wife or your children, but with your wife. We're talking about the hat of being a husband. Now, what you are doing, it's not even that that's fucking you up. It's actually fucking up the whole game. Because what you're doing is, by you doing that, you're saying, yes, it's okay, you can too. So then when they do it, you get upset. So hang on a minute, you've been fucking doing it. I don't know. But you can justify it, right? This is where justice becomes such muddied waters. What you believe is justice is different to what she believes is justice. The variance is like, where do you draw the line? Like, where do you. On the flip side, being the panda. Through nothing, through no action. There will definitely be a passage of time. But through no action, there will be an evolution of nothing for you. There will be a devolution because you haven't stood up and expressed the level of energy to counter the resistance that life will throw at you. And that life will be your wife, it will be your children, it will be your work, your business. It could be me challenging you. Now stand the fuck up. Don't be the panda. 24 7. As a husband, supplicating, passive, nice, all sorts of stuff. I call my wife three to four times a day. I'll message her six or seven times. Sometimes I'm taking the piss, sometimes I'm being sexy. Other times we're aligning with Judy's responsibilities. What do the kids need? Where are we going? What are we doing? There are a whole different range to stay connected across all areas of what a husband and wife can, will and should be. So sometimes it's the Viking, sometimes the panda, but it's always coming from the chief. Controlled. Not calculated. Not manipulative, but controlled. Sometimes assertive and accurate. Passive and go with the flow. As a husband, you need to recognize there are times when your wife wants to simply be nurtured and wants a nurturing man and a nice man. If that's a repeated pattern, when her shit's not lined up. Because like I said, we've all got mess. And when she starts to push it a little bit, guess where she's going to test. Just like the children, testing boundaries. Just like you. Right. One of our episodes, the greatest gamble a man will make. Guess what that is? It's on yourself. You're pushing. You're testing. Pushing the boundaries. Fuck, if I come here 12 months ago, Al wouldn't have been separated. That's right. You fucking push the boundaries. Oh, you know, it's a bit rocky, mate. I should have been here six weeks ago when I first. Yeah, that's right. You're pushing the boundaries. You're fucking testing the waters. You're gambling. Is that going to pay off for you? Maybe, maybe not. If you're either one or the other, the Viking or the panda, no one wins. You're either burning everything to the ground, creating an even greater wedge between yourself and your children, or yourself and your wife as a husband, as a father, and widening the gap between the thing that you care about most, which unfortunately means you then triple down on your work. You're either being this Viking where the whole family walks on eggshells that you've put out, or you yourself are tippy toeing around. Becoming the chief is no easy feat. But I'll tell you what, fuck me dead. Everything else gets easier once you start to master it. Man. It's insane. It's so clear. If I could. If I could choose any word. It's not clarity. Clarity is obviously what happens. It's a byproduct. But clear. I see clearly now. I can see it. Like I can read it. I can read people, clients, my family members, my children, my wife, myself. With my own bullshit. I got a little bit of that feeling like I just want to fucking headbutt someone. Okay, we'll just sit with that. Al. How long has it been? It's been three days now. Okay. What's missing inside of your life, Al? You're a little bit angry. You're a little bit angry at life. I'm not sure. Why am I angry? Am I not getting appreciation from my children, from my wife? Is it work? Is it business? Is it the results in myself, with my health, my training? Am I just tired? Is it because Roman might be sick or. This happened about a week and a half ago. I was just a little bit angry for a few days, like, what the F. Okay, all right. And just started just a little prodding. It was almost like I was laying back on the couch and I was just talking to myself and there was another version of Al with his fucking specs, sitting down with a little notepad, right? Hey, you know what? Nothing bad fucking happened. I didn't use it to react. I was just processing it myself. It doesn't mean that the feeling went away. And sometimes we'll get that, but the feeling will go in 10 minutes. Doesn't mean the feeling went away. So there was a little bit of unease inside of me for a portion of every single day. I was like, it's just strange. Is it because I dropped my caffeine back? Is it because I've. And I have had a break from Mojo? Fuck, I love that stuff. It's so addictive. But I just come off the back of having a month off. Maybe I haven't, because I haven't had that levels and just working. And it's like, oh, it's gone. As a man, as a husband, as a father, in business, building your life, building financial prosperity, this is important. Like, you look at the value you can offer the world. Don't just fucking settle. What can you do to build prosperity in your family? It's not just about what income you could earn this week or next month. What are you doing to build a level of stability for your family and prosperity and the value you hold through yourself as a man, as a husband, as a father, and in the workforce out there in the world, being the chief in the middle means you know exactly what lever to pull because you're aware, you're smart. It's a skill set you've developed and you've built over time. And like, that little point as we start to wrap this up, gentlemen, becoming the chief is an awareness, and then it's an application towards pulling on what's necessary and what's important. Then you can become like one of our members. Jed. He said it was really interesting how he said that. He said, you know, I've become the sponge. I was like, ah, sponge. Fucking soft. That means you're soaking everything in. That means you're holding onto it all. He's like, it's really good. Because at least 7 out of 10 times when I normally would have blown up, I didn't. And great outcomes come about. It connected with the kids better. And I'm sort of semi paraphrasing him, but when we're talking, he's like, you know, connected with the family better, more experienced with the kids. And I'm just a sponge and I soak it all up and I don't let any of it out in front of anyone else. I was like, fuck, that's really interesting. And then I thought about it because I didn't initially agree, and I was like, but hang on a minute. When a sponge is full, what can you do with it? Well, you can wring it out, can't you? The question is where? So when you're taking in a lot of this stuff and it's almost like, no, same as, like I say deflecting. It's like, all right, you can take it all in. Take it all in. Okay, now I'm going to ring that out. That shit doesn't serve me, but I'm going to do it on my own time. When I create space for myself, I'm not going to do it in a reactive way. Blowing up the family, being triggered. Grumpy dad, short tempered. No, no, I'm just going to take this in. I'm going to soak it. Soak it up. And then I'm just going to ring it out when I want to because I've got control. Because I'm the fucking man and I can do it when I want to. That was really cool. That's one thing I want you guys to think about that becoming the chief. And maybe you're going to. Maybe it's irreversible. Sorry. Maybe it's unavoidable for you to deflect things that come at you, right? Especially when it's your family. You're vulnerable, they're close, you're exposed. I get all that, man. Sometimes you're tired, early morning, late at night. So sometimes you do need to soak it up like a sponge and go, well, I'll just wring this out. And that's what I mean by getting a fucking punching bag or joining a rifle club or obviously, exercise is great. Have that physical outlet. Like when I'm training, I'm not always maximum intensity, but I'm aggressive. I'm like, man, I'm fucking own this weight. I'm going to dominate that dumbbell today, you know? And this is. This is the pathway to creating stability for yourself as a man, to tapping into your primal power. It's what we used to always call it. So, gentlemen, as we wrap up, being the chief, as a Man is knowing when to show your teeth and go, hey, you want to fucking play? Game on. And that doesn't mean against other men. That means against whatever the energy is that life is pushing onto you. That does not align with you in a wholesome way. It's dark energy. It's not wholesome. It's bad. Bad things will happen. And if you accept that, you choose to accept that, that means you agree with that. That means you want that to be the truth. Don't fucking lie to me and say it's otherwise. Otherwise you would have done something about it. And being the pander is knowing when to go, hey, that is not worth it. That doesn't even come close to me and who I am, what I stand for. I'm going to remove myself from this environment, this situation, create a better situation, environment as a husband, as a father, the Viking, the panda, you are the king. This is your kingdom. When your children move out, they still fall under your kingdom until the day you die. Then they take over. Doesn't mean they don't have their own little, their own little palaces inside the kingdom. But I tell you what, as long as I'm coherent in my 70s, 80s, and 90s, I will certainly continually lead by example for the phase and stage of journey that I am in. And at the same time, thousand year eyes sit back, be patient. This too shall pass. Don't obsess over all the little things. You're chasing all these small outcomes, but you've forgotten the larger purpose. Getting there on time, brushing their teeth, having your dinner, doing like, sticking to all these fucking appointments, all these numbers. Because what? It gives you power? Because it gives you the chance to point at someone and say, you were wrong, you failed. Don't do that. Just elevate yourself through your own actions and look through thousand year eyes to go, hey, man, these are very small outcomes. Life will go on. We'll get to the game a little bit late, the kids will go to bed a bit later, their teeth are fucking half brushed instead of full brush. Like you will get there. Don't worry. What's the larger purpose? Don't get fixated and scared about the larger purpose for whatever reason, even though it can be phenomenal experiences with yourself, your children, your family, by trying to hone in on and tighten the screws on these small, tiny outcomes that don't matter. Save that shit for when you're building your habits. That's good. Little actions, little habits. Do that. Use metrics and measure yourself from which you can demand a higher Level out of yourself and then set the stage. Set the example to inspire others to change instead of forcing these smaller outcomes as opposed to looking at the larger purpose and creating alignment between the two. Gentlemen, I hope this serves you well. Becoming the chief. I'll finish on this note. I was driving to the gym the other day and I saw this massive. And it was in the shittest spot, this massive fucking pothole. It was insane. I saw this huge pothole right around the roundabout, the shittest spot ever. And I had a huge bit of white spray paint around it, you know, like. Like highlighting it. Like, okay, I've got a wild track, a range of wild tracks, so obviously I can handle it. But even then, it's. It shook me a bit and I said, it's the gym I go to. So I saw it again and I saw how deep it was. I was like. And I saw the spray marking and I was like. And it just hit me. And it hit me on Anzac Day with the workout. But I saw it for the first time the week before and I was like, have a fucking look at this. Here's the problem. Here's where traffic's going to channel through. Like, think about this in your own life. Here's the problem. So what do we do? What's the plan? Let's get some people out. We'll put up a. Put up a couple of cones for six minutes. Let's get a can of spray paint and let's carefully. Because it would have taken that long. That's how big the fucking pothole is. And let's just spray white around it so at least people know it's there. I'm like, what the fuck is that doing? What is that solving? Nothing. Unless you're going up onto the roundabout or almost going to the other lane of traffic coming the other way. It's like a proper cross intersection roundabout. It's gonna do nothing. You just highlighted it. Hey, here's what's gonna fuck you up in the next three seconds. Good luck. It's. I tell you, man, like, you know, I know we've had a few jokes and laughs. I'm not sure if you've laughed, but I've certainly laughed a couple of times in some of the piss takes this episode. But fuck me, dead life is funny. I look at that shit, I'm like, doesn't make any sense. It makes zero sense. This is nothing. I get a bag of that asphalt shit and just fucking put it on there and let it melt in, and at least that'll solve the Problem for a week, like spray painting it. And it's been there for longer than a week now because like I said, I saw it about a week and a half ago and saw it a couple of days ago. Sorry, where are we? 26. I saw it yesterday. Time flies when you're having fun, eh, gentlemen? Where do you have potholes in your life and you just fucking spray paint it around them? Think it should be right? Some cars will handle it, some won't. Some days you're okay, some days you're fucked. Stop having fucking potholes. Sort that shit out. And you know what? Sometimes if you need to realign and close off the road, close off the road. This is your half time, even if you're in your 30s. My half time is very early in life, unfortunately, through many hardships and traumas. But I guess it's a bit of a gift now that I'm blessed for because here I am. Take the time, close off the road and relay the whole fucking road. Don't fuck around here. How many potholes do you have in your life? And you've just gone and spray painted around them. You know they're there. Some days they'll hurt, some days they won't. Depending on what car I'm driving, mate. Is that really a chance you want to take or a risk that you want to take with your life? Your life, gents. Take the potholes out, fix them up, take. Put the spray paint, put the spray can away, sort out those potholes. It's not always how much you do. It's the passage of time between what you do that will naturally allow things to evolve. You got to do something. What do we do? Out be the fucking chief. How do I be the chief? Build your exposure and the stimulus to what it is to be a Viking and to what it is to be a panda. Where as a husband, as a father, as a family man, as a man inside of yourself and your own life. As a businessman, someone hunting out, creating prosperity for his family in his life. All those fucking hats, that's where. Because they're all different. And when you do that, you don't always have to flex your muscles or show your teeth, but you know you got them. You don't always have to have open arms, but you know that you give great fucking cuddles and hugs to your family when they need it. And you know that you can apply a channeling of a passive energy, not just I live life as a nice guy, but a channeling of passive energy when those around you need just Your presence to be there. The fucking cold war horse on the rocking chair. Don't touch my airplane set. On my train models. My model train set. No, no. It's just your presence. Love and leadership. Love and leadership. Take care, man. Have an amazing day, night, weekday. Become the chief and I promise you everything gets better, everything gets easier. And in a life where ultimately we talk about choose discomfort, get out of your comfort zone, don't take the easy path, blah, blah, blah. What I'm talking about is your ability to handle problems, your ability to turn up and your ability to lead becomes easier as it fucking should. Like what I'm doing here and now. This is way easier than episode 3, episode 7, episode 20 let's get the runs on the board, do the reps and become the chief. And I'll see you around the campfire. And that's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this episode and got some golden nuggets with possibly one or two aha moments as well. If you truly loved and enjoyed what you listened to, then I want to invite you to share this episode with someone who you know needs to hear this. It could be your brother, friends, colleagues, your uncle, even your wife. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that none of us are alone in the hardships we face. But the solution to getting back on top, winning can start with a gift from someone else. And that gift could be an episode like this because another man transformed is another family saved. Which is exactly what we're all about thriving and winning in life. There is no alternative. It's possible. It has been done. It can be done, so it should be done. Appreciate your support in spreading this message. Cheers, mate.