199. Opportunity Cost

This episode is brought to you by our High Performance Father Coaching program where we help men juggle business, marriage and fatherhood to create the greatest balance and impact life has to offer. This is done with our philosophy that is at the core of achieving these phenomenal results in family, self and service and that is investing in yourself first so you can be a true 100% for yourself but just as importantly for those around you that you love and care about. If you're a father struggling with choosing between your work work and your family, lacking balance and connection in your relationship, what your children need, your own needs whilst building prosperity in your business, head over to highperformancefather.com fill out the form and I'll have my coaches contact you to see how we can help you and if you're a good fit, what it looks like to join the winner's circle on the inside. But for now, take the time to yourself for yourself and enjoy this episode Foreign welcome to another episode where we dive into opportunity cost. What is opportunity cost? Al Give me 35 minutes so I can finish our intro and I'll absolutely tell you the answer. I'm just kidding. Opportunity cost is essentially something that most men aren't even aware of. Here's the thing fellas. Everything comes at a price. Everything. And being away, spending some time away in Victoria with family, family, friends, there's so much to talk about and two of the biggest things that came through to me whilst away because the gifts for these podcasts come from the members come from when I'm actually not sitting here, not sitting here in HQ busting out some mindset things. It's actually the opposite. It's when I'm doing nothing, thinking about nothing or listening and I love listening. I'll do more listening than I do speaking. Even though you'll see the ads, you'll listen to these podcasts and you hear lots of words. I actually get way more out of listening to the men on the inside and two big things did come away absolutely crazy. Three kids traveling by plane obviously in transit with the plane then hiring cars and then car seats and driving down. Spent some great time down in Blair Gary which is cold. It's right at the bott the country any closer and we would have been in Tasmania and or any further down environment was massive and truth which made this episode it's made this episode after having a week, I guess a week off doing podcasts partly because I didn't really have the gear and also you know I chose to say yes to my Family and other things and say a momentary no to the podcast. And this is, I love this man. Like, here we are, episode 199. But the truth, the truth always wins. That was also going to be the name in this podcast episode. But I'm like, you know what? Environment and truth are laid into life. They are a part of life. What I want to talk about is the price to pay. Here's the crazy part though, fellas. Most people in this world are fucking liars. And they have a poor environment around them, which means there is no opportunity. They don't have opportunities. And that doesn't mean it's someone else's fault either. That's absolutely their responsibility and something they should take ownership over. And it's quite funny how certain things in life we let go of when we should absolutely be holding onto, taking control and ownership of and other things you shouldn't even be fucking worried about. You're trying to take complete ownership and control over. And I guess both of those, whilst they are the pathway forward to a phenomenal life, the skill is actually in the choice. It's in choosing when do I hold on, when do I let go? And it's part of, you know, a lot of our guys on the inside have been suggesting the book, the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Phenomenal book. You know, be impeccable with your word, don't take things personally, never assume or don't make assumptions, and always do your best. Apparently there's a fifth agreement. We'll get to that one in another episode. But the Four Agreements, man, they're so fucking powerful and they are true. You know, there are things you should, should really look inside of your life and go, you know what? I shouldn't be taking this shit personally. I shouldn't be assuming they almost go hand in hand. If you're assuming something, you're almost taking personal responsibility over something that actually doesn't even exist. And of course, being impeccable with your word is the difference between black magic and white magic and your destruction or a rise up inside of your life and evolution. And always doing your best is performing with excellence in all that you do. Knowing that, that changes. There's some times like I'm tired. It was hard. It took a lot out of me actually traveling with the kids. I couldn't imagine traveling overseas. Maybe it'd be easier because you're on the plan, you're set, you get in a routine, maybe be harder. If shit hits the fan, there's nowhere you can go. But nonetheless, it Was a pretty crazy week last week, which means your excellence will change day to day. You always do the best that you can for your best efforts on any given day. But the reason why I brought that up, fellas, is a great book for you to dive into or audiobook to listen to. But essentially we can't dive into opportunity cost and leave out those two big things that came through to me, environment and truth. Because depending on your environment and the type of truth that you're living and breathing and expressing in the world, you will have fuck all opportunities, you will have none. You will fall down and you'll only look at two things and the cost and the price to pay for those two things if you do and if you don't. And most of the times if you do, what's the bad that'll happen? If you don't, what's the bad that'll happen? Which means we continue this spiral because it does start out as a small spiral, but then continues into a massive, whether it becomes a massive fucking world whirlwind or cyclone or tornado or twister, I never actually looked into the difference of all of them. I'm sure some of you can probably email me through the answer. Alex Abramoff, one of our support coaches, I'm sure will correct me and give me the answer in no time. Thanks, mate. But essentially what I'm talking about is things becoming completely out of control. When you have poor environments and you do not live truthfully, you do not live a higher level of truth, you will get fucked up. I cannot stress this enough. So when we're talking about opportunity cost, I first want to have a look. And there are three main things. And this is literally the piece of paper I've got. And I've got the word opportunity and the word cost on there. Let's dial it in. 1, 2, 3. When you're making decisions and choices, this isn't just about physical actions. This is about the complete set of actions inside of your life. So your physical actions, your words, your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, all of them are some form of action that they are. So I don't want to become wishy washy, but also don't want you nitpicking going, well, you say actions, actions, action. Well, no, they're different types. There are different types. But the absolute action inside of what's going on in your heart, in your head, to then make it absolute in reality is a larger form of action. Doesn't mean the others aren't important. But hey, how do we make this real. How do we actually apply this to our life? So the hardest part with most men is they actually don't reverse engineer or go upstream to the source. Something happens and they're in a reactive state. I'm in a reactive state, shit's hit the fan, I'm just going to react and try to respond. Might give me a little bit more power back as best as I can. And unfortunately, when this happens, the day, the week, the month, the year is enough of a shitstorm as it is without added chaos to the mix. Which means we find ourselves scurrying around just trying to put that fire out and react to that moment, that day, that week, that minute, that hour, that month, so you can get some sort of stabilizing again so the ship doesn't fucking sink. And then next thing you know, here comes another one. And you never actually have the time or give yourself the time to pull back, pull away, zoom out, third person view and go, what the fuck's going on here? Like what? All the while, without the ability to do that, men, you are not giving yourself the tool or the resource or the resourcefulness to look and go, whoa, that's all happening because of me. That's right. And it's not. The whole life doesn't happen to you. It happens for you. None of those are true. It happens because of you. That doesn't mean that you're invincible to being exposed to hardships or traumas thrust upon you. But the difference between having a traumatic experience, which we would look at being, I'm the victim of trauma to I have a victim mentality, is you keep fucking repeating the past and traumas. That's what a victim mentality is. There are plenty of people who are victims of trauma, but continual repetition of what happened in the past to paint the future, which destroys the future and the now. When you go upstream, gentlemen, we need to first ask ourselves, you must take time out for yourself if you're going to do anything. I mean, fuck me, dad, you're listening to this podcast, Fantastic. Whether you're driving or working, take some additional time out for yourself so you can pull away. Review and analyze where your life is at. That doesn't mean do what I do. How's the holiday last week down in Melbourne Hour? What do you mean holiday? I've got. Got three children under six. How the fuck was that a holiday? It was different. It was purely a different location with no routines, no rituals, no familiarity. It was fucking chaotic. Thanks for asking. Doesn't mean I didn't enjoy It. I went to Legoland and the kids went nuts. But, yeah, that was even crazy in itself. Holidays, right? It's caravanning with kids. It's good fun. You can get some sort of routine with the caravan. But holiday, hilarious. Gentlemen, you got to go upstream. You can't go upstream unless you take the time out for yourself first. First and foremost, this must become your universal law. This must become one of your. Whatever you want to call it. Your law, your guide, your rule, your principle. You must take time for yourself. Take time for yourself. And let's start working through this here. Three different areas. Opportunity cost is the third one. We're going to go through the first two because this is what most people focus on. What is the actual price and are you willing to pay it? So everything comes at a cost. Let's look at the dues. So when you do something, anything that you do comes at a price. Everything that you do in this world, man, everything that you do in this world comes at a price. I could spend an extra hour with my children. I'm spending an hour here with you doing a podcast. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I'm just painting one contrast or one. One perspective to look and compare. I could be getting a massage for an hour. My neck's tight, back's tight from sitting down a lot. Plane ride. Could be getting a massage instead of doing this. But everything comes at a price. It's the yes, no principle. It's my time, it's my energy. So what is the price? Don't even worry. You've got a full. You've got an open calendar hour. Nothing else on, just the podcast. Fantastic. There's still a price. It's my time, it's my energy, which means I'm using time and energy, which means I have less for my children, I have less for myself, I have less for the men on the inside. Although in a roundabout way, the men on the inside get a slightly different message with every podcast to a stranger, so to speak, who wouldn't be on the inside but saying that, I mean, shit, man, we're nearly at 200 episodes. If you guys have been listening to enough, and I say enough, would probably be at least, I don't know, 20 or 30 episodes. You'd be pretty familiar with who I am, at least. I had that message the other day, actually, of the guys. Like, man, it feels like I already know you. Like, that's cool, man. I appreciate that. Thank you. And that's the whole point of this podcast, to create A level of connection together. Even if I never even meet you or we do want to. Hopefully the world's coming to some sort of normality very soon. If not, it's almost already there. Well, I'd love to do a bit of a road show and head up and down the coast at least, and then head over west to our western brothers. All the way in Madagascar. I'm just kidding. In Western Australia. They're almost the same place, aren't they? But, gentlemen, everything you do in this world comes at a price. Everything. So let's look at that first point. What am I doing? When I talked earlier about the chaos, the whirlwind, the shitstorm inside of your life, just trying to put out the fire for the day, stop the ship from sinking. All the other visuals and analogies that would equate to you just surviving, treading water, keeping the impossible task of keeping things that are constantly breaking unbroken or fixing or gluing or mending them. We keep doing that without actually going upstream and going, well, what are the actions I'm taking? This job that you took, this career, this business that you started, this business that you've taken to the next level, right? What is the cost of the actions you're doing? And the actions might have been the decision making process seven years ago for you. And you're getting the repercussions. Good, bad and the ugly. This is what people don't understand. The price to pay is a fucking lifelong series of prices to pay. Some are very big, some are a big ticket, some are small, some are long, some are short. But they all add up. They all add up. The very first one, what you're doing, what is the price? Go upstream first. If there's something you're not happy about, something you are happy about, this is important for both sides of the coin. I'm not here just to talk about the negative all the time. Last episode, why Marriages Fail. Well, listen to it and do the fucking opposite of that. And then you can replace the title with why Marriages Thrive and Flourish. There's your answer. And ironically enough, two sides of the same coin. It's almost always the flip side and the other side of that coin. So both the good and the bad decisions, the good and the bad actions, the good and the bad outcomes. Review these by first going upstream to the source point number one of the cost of things, your actions, what you're doing, and ask yourself the question, what is the actual price that needs to be paid? You want to start a new business, different business? Take your Business to the next level. You want to improve your marriage, your position there inside of your relationship. What does that look like for you? All of these different decisions on you being home or being present more engaged with the kids, special time with the kids, or dadventures. Looking at all of them, the good, the bad and the ugly. Cutting your old environment away. Some of your mates used to get on the piss with all the time. You've given up the booze, but they're giving you shit for it. Okay, well, fuck you. If you don't support me, you're fucking out of my life. I mean, I get the whole jovial nature, but fuck me dead. Fellas like the whole Australian culture. And it's not just Australian culture. The whole culture around tall poppying, all the crabs in the bucket. You know, crab tries to get out of the bucket, the other ones will just fucking pull him back down. That's bullshit. Let them hold on to their own insecurities and problems. You fucking fly the nest and you rise up and you become your own king of the castle. Instead of seeking acceptance of some fucking Betas or Charlies or Deltas that don't play any influence into creating great life with you or for you, support of you. What's the actual price that needs to be paid? You've got a bad environment. You're not living truthfully. You're not telling the truth. You've got fucking lies riddled throughout your life. But it's too hard, man. It's too hard to keep up that facade. But honestly, you cannot. That's what happened to me five years ago. My life was falling apart because I kept all this bullshit together in one piece. And my life wasn't filled with lies. But there are enough lies there to hurt. So spinning plates with chopsticks, like, how long do you think you can keep that up? Go upstream to the source and ask yourself the question, hey, this is what I'm currently doing, experiencing the good, bad and the ugly. Well, this is what I currently want to do. The good, the bad and the ugly. When it comes to removing the things that aren't serving anymore. Okay, what's the price? What is the actual price of these actions that I am taking about to take? And then the second question it asks of is, am I willing to pay that price? Is that a price I am willing to pay? Too often as men in this world going out and hunting for their families, trying to provide and bring prosperity into the household as well as a roof over their head, car, nice things, all the bits and Pieces that gives us the fulfillment and significance of providing for the family. A, it comes at the cost of us, but B, we don't even know what the price is that we're paying until it does become too late. Yeah, it does come at the cost of us. You're sacrificing for the family. I'm talking about the long game, the big breakdowns, the shit that fucks you up. And it becomes too late. Irreversible damage. You cannot turn back the clock anymore with what you're doing in this world. You must. The lies that you're telling, the environment that you're surrounding yourself in, the people that you're around, the actions that you take, the habits that you formed, you must go back upstream to the source, which is you. And at some stage, the decision and the choice that you made to go, what is the actual price that I'm paying here? Is that something that I'm willing to keep paying? Second point. Third point's opportunity cost. Maybe this will turn into a half an hour intro before we get to the answer. Maybe that in there, gentlemen, is the answer when we're looking at the cost of things. Like I said, this is a bigger podcast. I've had a week and a half off. We're going to put a couple of golden nuggets into this. But essentially, there are three main things to focus on. One will be, yes, what you're doing comes at a price. You know that, I know that, you know, everyone knows that, even if you're oblivious or ignorant to it. There is a price. There is a transaction. There is a trade. There is a deal. There's this. That's part of life, selling, negotiating, whatever you want to call it. You are trading time, energy, money, all resources available to you through your actions. The second one is what you don't do. This is where most people fall into the pit, or the pain or the alternative in life, there is a price to pay if you don't do something. This is actually a really optimistic and positive podcast. As much as we're about to dive into the pit and the hole, what comes out of that is really the opportunity cost is a very positive thing. It's something that's very optimistic and that will make sense shortly. But we're looking at, okay, what's the price that I pay when I'm doing something good, bad and ugly? Awesome. Am I willing to keep paying that price? Is that a price I'm willing to pay? What does that look like for me? Okay, I'm clear on that. At Least you have clarity. Do you follow through and keep going or do you change it up? Second one is, well, if you don't do something. Too often, people go through breaking their fucking bodies in their backs because they're not doing anything. They're not looking after their physical health, their mental health, their emotional health, their habits, their training, nutrition, exercise, yourself as a physical vessel of life, you as an organism, like you are an organism. You're not a fucking robot. As much as Elon Musk might want that, maybe he does. Who knows? You are an organism. You will decay like life. The dichotomy of life is life itself is a continual process of death and decay. It's crazy, isn't it? Doesn't mean that you haven't had your best years, though. What does that look like for you? I may never become an international athlete again, but who gives a fuck where my life is going? And the ripple effect of what I embody, how I express myself and lead my life for myself and my family and all of us together in this phenomenal message for fathers is way bigger than and how many fucking muscle ups I can do or how far I can handstand walk, man. The price if you don't do something. Okay, what is that price? If you do nothing? If you don't do maybe what it is that you know you should do if you don't do something. What does that look like again? The good, the bad and the ugly. You know what? I'm not going to do that, Al. Fantastic. Well, what's the actual outcome then? Sometimes there are some bad things that you shouldn't do, which means the outcome is good. But what is that price? Does that mean you're no longer around those people? You're no longer taking those drugs, you're no longer twisting the ears off it just to get a quick release of dopamine and go, yes, I'm the fucking man. I saw some bloke slaying some other woman and here I am twisting the ears off to it. Like, I know I take the piss a little bit with that, fellas. And you know what? Like when I had a vasectomy last year, I used that as a quick hit to get up to 18 shots. And then off we go, mate, you're all good. You got no more swimmers. I'm happy with three kids. Three's enough. I used to say the road to 10 in front of Corinne to strangers. Especially the old people. Oh, we got three kids. Three kids. Are you gonna have more? It's like, oh, should I Have more, yes. The road to 10, we like double digits. It's a good number. Over in America, you have 10 kids, you get free health care apparently. I don't know about you, man, but living in America, there's no fucking way that that would be enough of an incentive for me to go. Could you imagine? Could you imagine? Just a side note on that, could you imagine getting to fucking number nine? Fuck, you'd be filthy, man. Like, you would be blowing up having like eight or nine kids, and you just can't get that 10th one. That'd be a punish. So even the good things that will come off the back of saying no and stopping doing some of the bad or unwholesome things comes at a cost as a price to pay. There's a part of the ego that needs to die, as a part of your belief system that needs to change your attitude, your perspective on things. There is always a price to pay, gentlemen. What is the actual price if you do something and are you willing to pay it? What is the actual price of not doing something and are you willing to pay it? So as we sort of. If you splice this off or, you know, peel it off into, I guess, four different sections, you got your two points there, and they both go good and bad, good and bad. Okay, okay, let's have a look for all of those. What is the actual price of what I'm currently doing or what I desire to be doing or having or living or breathing inside of my life? Okay, cool. Am I willing to pay that price? Like, is it really a sacrifice that I train? I'm fit and healthy and strong and I invest that time in me? Or is it a sacrifice if I don't do it? Because I'm fucking better than that and I need to have a massive gas tank to be able to perform energetically, physically, mentally and emotionally inside of my life. That's why I train. It's why I love exercise. It is a part of me. It's part of my makeup. It's a chemical makeup as well. For us as men, it's a great way, in a controlled environment, to create variables of stress, of breaking down, of hardship. I wouldn't say trauma, but yeah, absolutely. Like you're fucking flogging yourself sometimes. What a great way to overcome adversity and then show that to the children. That's why I still enjoy training in the gym. There's always a price to be paid with the things that you do and the things that you don't do. The key here is to Ask the question, what is the actual price that I'm paying? What does that look like? Am I willing to pay that? Which takes us gents to the third point, and this is a point that I just want to break open a little bit and just really sort of stare and navigate to slow it down. Take some time for you to think personally in your life where this may be a truth for you, because the opportunity costs is a very interesting one. You don't know what you don't know, right? And the more that you know, the more you realize you don't know. So what that leaves us with. What that leaves us with is a level of ignorance of not even knowing. The great. This is what I mean about this being a positive or optimistic episode. They all should be. But hopefully, you know what I mean, when we're talking the doom and gloom opportunity cost. Most people don't even fucking know what that looks like. And let me paint just a picture or an example for you. You come home from work and through all of the other decision making processes which come at a price, come at a cost and whatnot of your physical health or energy and whatnot, you come home, just want to kick back, sit on the lounge, drink a few beers. Was the young bloke's birthday last week and. And you got him a set of goals. So mobile or movable goals. He plays soccer. Young bloke, nine years of age. I'm just literally making up a story or an example, but this might ring true for a lot of you men. Sit down. You just want to relax. Dad, dad, come kick the ball with me. I love my new soccer ball that I got for my birthday. And let's test out the goals. You can be goalie and I'll be shooter. Oh, Jesus, son. You know Dad's really tired, mate. I just want to. Just let me relax. Been a big week at work. It's just been a massive week and I'm really. Dad, it's Monday. What do you mean you've been to work for one day of the week? Seriously though, you start saying, look, I'm tired, son, I don't have the energy in me. And just let dad sit down and relax for a little bit first and all right, no worries, dad. And comes back in 10 minutes later. Daddy ready yet? I just. Look, nearly finished this beer, son. Really haven't told him the truth, but it's like your third beer. And he comes back, five minutes. Just, just leave me alone, mate. Just let me have some peace and quiet. I work hard for this Family, don't. I put a roof over it. And all of a sudden, all this snappy starts coming out, and Mr. Snappy starts coming out and just really shoots down. What is really a loving and wholesome opportunity that your son is trying to create with you, to just kick the fucking ball with him, because he had his birthday last week and he wants to spend some time bonding with you and almost in a manly, primal type element, prove his skills, his ability, his worth. This is the opportunity cost. You do go out there, right? Let's pretend you did go out there. Imagine if you did go out there, you start kicking the ball around, you see him start to put some curve on the ball, hits a couple of goals. Awesome. So you test him a bit more, and then you're kicking the ball back to him. You dig the foot in, kick the ball up in the air. All of a sudden, just in the moment, being side, being around you, he jumps up, fucking bang. Head butts it, and he goes right in the corner, pigeon right in the corner of the goals, and go straight in. Holy fuck. That was. Wow, son. That was unbelievable. Dad. I've never done that before. I've never done a header. I used to, you know, I watched. I was going to say Roberto Baggio, what a fucking nightmare he was for Italy when he kicked that ball straight over the goals. I'll never forget that. And we lost. Anyway, let's think of another soccer star, a more relevant one. Dad, I used to watch Ronaldo all the time, you know, and he's so good at headbutting the ball. And I. I can't believe I did that. And the young bloke's excited, and all of a sudden you chip it up and he goes again, goes again. And this fear of heading the ball, you know, and squinting eyes and all sort of shit, that was always sort of there. You'd see that on the weekend with his games here and there, be like, oh, what the fuck's he afraid of? The ball. Just head it. Bang. He has this breakthrough because you were there, because you excited him, because you promoted confidence and the ability inside of him to express that part of his life. Because you got him the soccer ball and the goals. Well, let's go back even further. You never even got. Just got him some fucking money or bought him some money on an online account to play more fortnite. Anyway, back to the potential headbutting. The ball goes in, you end up spending an hour and a half outside just playing with him. And then this confidence carries him through all of A sudden, he's kicking the ball up and he's just bouncing it on his head. Dad, I got 13. I juggled the ball on my head 13 times, 18 times, 21 times. He carries that confidence through. That confidence leads to him getting a fucking girlfriend at school because of how he has the confidence in himself through his own ability, in which you provided that platform, you provided that experience, that opportunity for him, which meant he made the reps team with soccer, which meant he went all the way, and he scored the most goals in his reps team, some phenomenal goals at that. And I know I said, He's 8 or 9 years old, but let's. Let's imagine that he had the girlfriend that he has. He's 14 years of age, but he got that off the back of the confidence that flourished and shined at a. This is the opportunity cost. I'm not talking about just living in fantasy land, but having multiple perspectives of the opportunity of potential outcomes or the reality that can be. Should you provide a level of love and truth and the environment there, not just for yourself, but those that you love and care about? What is the opportunity cost? So this is what I want you to think about. This is what opportunity cost is. It's the fucking great things that can come about in your life that you don't even know exist. You don't even know they're possible. That's what makes this such a harsh mistress to pursue, such a tough beast to either slay or to follow or to wrangle with and wrestle with. Because sometimes you're so fucking exhausted just trying to survive the day, you don't even know how to think about all the beautiful, wonderful miracles and opportunities that life can give you or your son or your children or your family or your wife or your life. Just think about that, man. Look, I'm sure there's more examples. We've had members before with our weekly temple where we challenge them. Did you sit down and have dinner with our technology at the dinner table with your family? One of our members was like, mate, I got to tell you, like, you know, we haven't done that for years. And that was a really confronting question that I had to go through on the weekly temple. So I got the family together and said, you know what? We're going to start eating dinner as a family. And some of the conversations that came up between my son and my daughter and for us together, and some of the laughter, some of the opportunities around their careers, because they're a bit older, they're looking at the next stage after high school and what, they want to pursue it. He's like, there's no way we would have had any of those conversations. No way we would have had any of those conversations if we're just sitting around watching tv. Would have been fucking mutes. Would have been listening to some other fucking bloke on TV telling us what to think or some drama or reality show or story or fantasy. This is what I mean, lads, when I'm talking about opportunity costs, there are opportunities out there. Like, what a fucking wonderful thing. It's not a burden. It is a wonderful thing that cannot. It is impossible. This is what I meant at the start of this episode. It is impossible to have this unless you have an environment and the truth that goes hand in hand with you expressing the greatest version that you can be as a man, as a husband, as a father, and providing that opportunity to grow and evolve. Like, if you're filled with fucking lies. Dad's tired. Dad needs to unwind and just let him have his beer and watch some tv. It's like, it's. It's not that it's not the truth, but you're fucking lying with an excuse on why you should or why you shouldn't be out there kicking the ball with the young bloke. Don't fucking lie and say you're tired because of work, because of your fucking poor habits and your shit attitude and the routines and rituals that you don't have dialed in morning and night is the reason why you're fucking lethargic, not because you're working. We're all working. So how come some people have energy and some don't. That's the lie. The lie is when people sit behind fucking bullshit excuses, which comes not just at the price if you do, price if you don't. The opportunity cost. This is the greatest cost of all. Which sounds funny because the other ones are, you know, they can be pretty detrimental and put you in the pit and they can have, you know, repercussions that can be very damaging for you. But what's the most damaging for me? It would be laying on my deathbed and some sort of ghost or angel coming up to me going, hey, Al, just wanted to check in, mate. And I'm the opportunity cost angel. I'm like, I'm sorry, what are you talking about? Or I'm depending how life went. I'm the opportunity ghost or ghoul. Here I am, mate. I've just got this big list. Hey, you know when this happened, hey, guess what? Would have happened if you just fucking turned up here. This would have led to this, this, this, this. It becomes a choose your own adventure book. It's like this big tree of life and here are all the branches and this is what would have actually happened for your son. Can you see that? Here, let me just, Let me just show you. I'll just pull up this chart. Can you actually see where this would have gone if you just fucking stood up and lived a higher level of truth and influenced and created a greater environment around those that you love and care about? And you know what? Have a look at this. Have a look at where all this winds up. Bang. There you are there. Can you see how when you did this, this is what happened with your son inside of his life over the next six months. And look where you pop out here. Even greater, because can you see here, because you can see what's happening with your son and the great changes that actually inspired you on days where you weren't fucking inspired and you couldn't be fucked and have a look at what you did. And that was the breakthrough that you needed. Hey, have a look at this one, Al. Let's go to this date. And I'll tell you, man, nothing would cut through my heart more than if that. If I was laying on my deathbed and I was like, man, have a look at all these things. And you have that. Here's the thing, guys, what I'm sharing here, it's already inside of you. The opportunity cost. It is an intuition. It is a gut feel. Those who. And we all experience fear and being scared at times, but when those act on that and make that absolute and make that their reality and continually repetitively say yes to that and drive actions through the fear, one, they start pushing fear onto everyone else they love and care about, which is, you know, that should be a crime. That's the way I see it anyway. But two, when they are making that decision, can you. Can you see this is an intuitive part of you. Your gut dies. There is a part of you and a part of your evolution, the slightly leveled up, more leveled up version of you. It's just a little bit ahead. It's almost like he's off in the distance. You can sort of see a figure like, fuck, that looks like me. And he's waving to you and he's going, hey, just a little bit further. Come on, mate. Come on. Just a bit more. He fucking dies. He's gone. And that, that restricts you, that limits you. Your perspective, your outlook, how you choose to even see things. So forget all the options that you think you have or don't have, because you don't have them anym. You don't even have the option of a different variety of how to see things, let alone looking at a various range of options. This converts to relationships, this converts to communication. How can you adopt multiple perspectives? So how to think and also what to think with multiple perspectives. So that when you are setting up a time to connect, deepen a connection, reconcile, build a stronger relationship with your wife, reignite the flame, build better opportunities. You don't even have any of that. That you don't have any of that in your arsenal. You cannot draw on any of that. And so the relationship dies. And this is the hardest part. We all have that inside us. But somewhere along the lines we focus on the daily chaos without even being present. It's just the daily case putting out the fires in fear of the future ramifications that can hit us and hit us hard. We don't even explore the potential opportunities that we can have, which means the opportunity cost is a non event. Some of you guys might not have even heard of that term before. Opportunity cost. But isn't this what life is about? Like, there are no guarantees, man. There are no mulligans or gimmes. And you think there is, but there isn't. You think there's times you got away with it, or this was easy, or that. No, no, maybe, maybe in that perspective at that period of time for the version of who you were. But all life is at the core is a series of opportunities. And that doesn't mean it's a great thing either. There are plenty of opportunities that'll fuck you up. But I tend to not look at it that way as much because it's probably not a great. Probably not a great place to be, have a pretty solid emotional pull on you, and then all of a sudden the judge and the victim comes out blaming and shaming and guilt. But isn't that all it is? Like, okay, well, if that's all life is, Al, what's the secret? What's the gift? How do we then live life? How do we then move through the passage of time that is our existence to create the greatest life possible? Well, I think it's definitely a numbers game. You want to have a voluminous amount of opportunities, because if you're only presented with one or two or three things, maybe those one, two or three things will be skewed not in your favor because of the closed or the channeled vision that you have because you haven't been working and building yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally, which means your experiences are limited, which means your belief system is limited, which means your environment and the people around you is limited, which means your actions and your competency and your skill sets are limited, which means the outcomes and the results are limited. And then you just keep in this vicious cycle. And you can replace limited with average. You've got average environments, average people around you, average choices, average skill sets, average actions off the back of those skill sets, skill sets, average results, and all you needed is that 1% lift just to look a little bit left and right. That doesn't mean life is a buffet to just go, fuck. Give me thousands of opportunities, give me millions of choices. When you live a life filled with truth and in the right nourishing and challenging environments of love and leadership, you will navigate your life without even knowing. You will subconsciously move towards creating and establishing better relationships and networking with those that you're connected to. I mean, that's how this podcast is how most of our members come on board. Yes, you'll see my ads in our paid advertising, and there's lots of different ways to find us, but this is cutting home, man, where you guys are listening. And some might listen and go, this bloke's. You cook up a story, he swears, what a bad leader, what a bad father. You think I fucking swear around my kids like this? Of course I don't, man. I can switch my personality like that. You think I talk to my grandmother like this? Principles, values, truth. Absolutely. At the core, I'm the same. People will create stories, but a lot of guys will listen to these podcasts and be like, fucking bang on, man. This is what we need. We need more truth. I need this. I need this sort of environment around me. All it takes, gentlemen, is a little lift, a little 1% to go. Hey, what if I do say yes? What if I do follow through? What if I do immerse myself in a greater environment, raise my actions, live with absolute truth. That means stripping back the facade and the lies and the bullshit and having that and making that declaration to my wife, to my children, to myself in the mirror and stripping back the lies and the bullshit and owning all of life, all of life, exactly where it is now, then I know exactly where I am. And I can look down at my feet, I can look up, I can look around me, and I know my exact fucking position. And it is truthful, it is an honest position, and it fucking hurts. And there are things I'm not happy about. There are things I've been covering, there are things I've been hiding from. But I'm here and I'm now. And guess what? I'm real. I'm actually real now. I'm not just a facade of fucking words and movements that pretends to be something he's not. I'm exactly where I need to be to now build. What do you think that would equal in your life? You think you'd have greater opportunity costs that you miss out on? Absolutely not. See, the opportunity cost is really. It's quite ironic because for there to be an opportunity cost would mean the man is not living in his entirety. A life of truth and growth and evolution. To become the greatest leader through his own actions he can be for himself as a man and those he loves and cares about. But for a man to operate that way chronically over time would probably equal a lack of perspective or vision to even know what opportunity cost is. Isn't that funny? The irony of life, the dichotomy. Yet here we are, having the opportunity and the ability to listen to someone like myself, who's a collective of all of the fathers that we've worked with over time go, hey, this is what it fucking is, man. You didn't know, now you do. Don't worry about the price that you'll pay, because you'll always pay. Everyone pays. There's always a price to pay. In life, with everything, there's a price to pay. Your health, your mind, your relationships, your career, your business. There's always a price. There's always an awareness that's missing for most and that's what burns them. But don't worry about the price to pay if you do and if you don't. Let's have a look at the opportunity cost and visualize the great things. Visualize the opportunities. Visualize what you can create with your children. Dadventures Special time. Visualize what you can create with your wife, honey, and handsome time. Visualize what you can do to bring prosperity into the household, but also a loving connection to being present and giving your presence in a way that delivers what a leader can, will, and should be to your children looking up and admiring, going, that's the fucking hero. Not some bloke who wears a cape on tv. Visualize all of that, because guess what? That can be your reality. That can be the truth. That can be your truth. That can be the truth and the outcome in the real. This isn't fantasy land. This isn't going, oh, It's a pipe dream. Or I'm just fantasizing about a future that will never be. No, no, no. Opportunity cost is you looking, going, going, fuck, you know, what if I did this, this and this. Maybe the example with a young bloke heading the ball and getting a girlfriend and making reps, teams and his confidence. Maybe not. But I tell you what, maybe something, an offshoot of that can, will and should happen. If you're spending enough time together in each other's presence and you're showcasing the Viking, the panda and helping him develop as a young man, maybe that can happen. Or maybe it's a bit different. But I tell you what, it's better than the alternative. It's better than sitting on the lounge, sinking back on some beers, watching tv. The opportunity cost there is endless. What anxiety. I mean, that would cut through me. That'd cut me to pieces. I could have done all of this. We could have had all of this. We might have had all of it. We got nothing, son. Doesn't respect me anymore. Doesn't even talk to me. Never asked me about girls or sex or any of that sort of stuff. I just. It's like fucking useless to him now. He listens to his mates more than he listens to me. And you can always be a friend to your son if or when he needs. But I'll tell you what, you only have one father. I hope this serves you well as we start to wrap up this episode where we're talking about not just the cost of life itself and all of the decisions we make, but actually building the awareness to know what that is and being willing to pay that price. But then just future pacing a little bit. Let's go forward a little bit into the future and let's ask the question, am I being all that I can be? Just remember, I'm on your side, man. Like, fuck this feminism bullshit and this toxic masculinity. And it just baffles me. I can't believe sometimes that I still get this on my ads. I had a guy the other day go, I can imagine, tagged his mate, said, I can imagine how many times this guy says the word toxic masculinity. And I wrote back, fucking none. I can't stand the term. But you know what? I will challenge everyone out there, Every man out there. You're not doing yourself any fucking favor by being piss weak through your actions and sitting down as a victim, pointing and blaming and being a keyboard warrior, are you? I mean, put it this way, men, if we all rose up and created a higher level of fucking standards and leadership then all the bullshit around toxic masculinity and all the other movements and all the other weak acts probably would never have come to fruition because here we are showing, not telling, right? Maybe that's a better way to look at it. If we had to sort our shit out before, maybe this wouldn't have happened. But maybe that's our opportunity. Because our parents didn't quite get that. They didn't quite do that. Maybe they had it too easy after the baby boomers, after the war, who knows? Every generation has its good, bad and the ugly. But I'll tell you what, you and me, right here, now, we have a phenomenal opportunity because of the old school and the new school, the new age. Adaptability, the old school values that are still there, don't let them die, they can still live on inside of us. But that comes with a level of responsibility, a level of ownership, a level of pride to go, you know what? I'm gonna fucking bleed in this life. You know what I'm gonna pay for it. Whether it's time, money, energy, experiences, opportunities lost, but that might equal opportunities gain. What does that look like for me? How many opportunities can I have? How can I guide and steer and navigate my life to create the greatest set of opportunities possible? So I'm the fucking man in control who can then pick what opportunity he wants, what he sees, what benefits himself and his family and those that he loves and cares about. That's what I love about fatherhood. I look at what I do with the children, and when they're out of line, I discipline them. And when the time is right, just like a couple of pet bunnies we've got a few days ago, I'm the fucking panda man. I lay down, the bunnies run all over me. The kids laugh and scream, they jump. Roman jumps and fucking knees me in the nuts for the 18th time. And happy days. I'm not having any more kids anyway. And then we flick the switch. Hey, bedtime. Hey, let's have a bath. Daddy's asked you five times now, it's bath. When you look inside of your life, really look inside of your life, I want you to just spend a couple of minutes asking some key questions. What is the price that I'm currently paying in this area of family, in this area of self, in this area of service? Am I willing to keep paying that price? What is the outcome of that? What is the actual price? Okay. Yes. Good. No. Okay. Fuck, mate. What are you gonna do about it seriously, like I'm asking you that question. What are you gonna do about it? The bitching, the whingeing, the complaining, the moaning, the worrying. Leave all that shit to women. Back in the old tribal days, looking to keep the tribe together with the children, newborns and what's innately a part of them. We can't live with that. You get fucking eaten alive, men. That Sabretooth will see you and he'll fucking cut you in half. It doesn't mean that you're emotionless or a robot. It means you as a man, tap into your skill sets, your gifts, your abilities that we have that women don't. Just like they tap into theirs that they have and we don't. Nor should we try to model or replicate or copy. Am I willing to pay the price and then sit down and really visualize? What opportunities could I have? Would I have? What are the greatest opportunities that could be created from this? I've got to tell you guys, you wouldn't be listening to this right now if I didn't look at my life and go, okay, I'm running a gym. The gym's failing. My marriage is fucked. My body is up and down. I got so many injuries, tried to be an elite athlete. Now I'm just getting sloppy. My daughter, anxiety, attachment issues. I'm definitely not being the fucking father I should be for her. I mean, the price is already there for the do's and don'ts. What led me forward on this journey, on this path nearly five years ago now. It's pretty crazy how quick it goes in the online format anyway, which started as RDM and is now high performance. Father is going, well, what's the opportunity cost here? Like, what is it going to? What are the opportunities that I could possibly have? What are the opportunities I can have to connect with thousands of men all over the country to reignite my love life, for my wife, to reconnect with my daughter and have more kids and connect with them on an even greater level. I'm building this phenomenal movement that supersedes me and outlives me and all of us involved and becomes part of a collective legacy of what? What are all of those opportunities that I won't fucking have if I don't do it? It. And when you do that, man, it comes from a place of purity. It's not ego. It comes from a place of purity and love and leadership, as we always say. I hope this serves you well. Maybe some thinking to do on your actions. And instead of the do's and the don'ts and the immediate goods and bads. Look at the great things you could miss out on. You know, what if I just drink 3 days a week instead of 5? 2 days, take the kids down the park. What are some great outcomes that could happen? Oh, you know what? Your kid could break their leg. Big fucking deal. Look at it from the side of you take ownership over what you can do. And when you're with little humans, you're guiding and steering and leading them through their own little journeys and life and trials and tribulations as well. It doesn't mean it's always going to be perfect or hunky dory. But what are the greatest opportunities that you could have if you just say yes to a few more of the right things? The whole choose your own adventure book. The old tree of life with all the different branches growing up and sprouting out. What does that look like? Think about it. Because that will be your rod and staff, man. That will emotionally. They will be your emotional hooks to cast out that will drive you to take the right actions, not just the price if I do, price if I don't. You don't even ask that question. Start with that. And then look at the opportunities that you're missing out on that you can have. It's got to tell you, lads, there are a massive amount, a monstrous amount of phenomenal opportunities that you can have to become your reality for yourself and for your family. To live the life that you want. A life with absolute truth. A life in an incredible environment. And a life where your opportunities that you've seen, visualized have been seized and have been lived and is a part of a beautiful memory, an experience that you gifted not just yourself, but those that you love and care about. And that's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this episode and got some golden nuggets with possibly one or two aha moments as well. If you truly loved and enjoyed what you listened to, then I want to invite you to to share this episode with someone who you know needs to hear this. It could be your brother, friends, colleagues, your uncle, even your wife. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that none of us are alone in the hardships we face. But the solution to getting back on top, winning can start with a gift from someone else. And that gift could be an episode like this. Because another man transformed is another family saved. Which is exactly what we're all about thriving and winning in life. There is no alternative. It's possible. It has been done. It can be done, so it should be done. I appreciate your support in spreading this message. Cheers.