205. Life Cycle Of A Father, Husband & Man

This episode is brought to you by our high performance father coaching program where we help men juggle business, marriage and fatherhood to create the greatest balance and impact life has to offer. This is done with our philosophy that is at the core of achieving these phenomenal results in family, self and service, and that is investing in yourself first so you can be a true 100% for yourself, but just as importantly for those around you that you love and care about. If you're a father struggling with choosing between your work, work and your family, lacking balance and connection in your relationship, what your children need, your own needs, whilst building prosperity in your business, head over to highperformancefather.com fill out the form and I'll have my coaches contact you to see how we can help you and if you're a good fit, what it looks like to join the winner's circle on the inside. But for now, take the time to yourself for yourself and enjoy this episode. And here we are, episode 205. Holy man. We are moving along. We are moving along with the average being around the 50 minute mark, going from I guess 40 to 90 minutes. But a lot of the podcasts we do are solo. It's yours truly, Al here. It's pretty crazy to look at that and go, wow. We're looking at a couple of hundred hours essentially of spitting fire, of value and of perspective shifting and of empowering ourselves as men, as fathers, as husbands, to move forward and win in our life and achieve true balance. That's an important thing. So today's episode is all about cycles, the life cycles, as a father, as a husband and as a man. And what we're going to do in this special episode is we are absolutely going to model or mimic or pull away some of the most valuable things we can from nature. And one of those valuable things being around butterflies. What an amazing thing to look at, this metamorphosis, this complete transformation here in starting as a shitty little egg to go into eating the fuck out of anything it can get its mouth on as a caterpillar and then going into a cocoon, it's just, it's insane. It's mind boggling when you look at some of the things that nature has to dish up. But a lot of that really in a symbolic way does apply to ourselves and our lives. And what we're going to run through in today's session, man, is obviously the four of a life cycle of a butterfly and really weighing up the perspective of time. Yeah, it's awesome. It's amazing. We've got a butterfly here, but the actual life of it, of the creature, of the being a butterfly, is fuck all. It's actually pretty crazy. So looking at the fruits of your labor, the results, the pinnacle of success, everything else that we can, like I said, take across to our own life and to what we do as men in this world is actually quite short lived. So we're going to go through the life cycle of a butterfly as a perfect example for you to start shifting your perspective, to start adjusting the way that you see things, to start adjusting your own life and reorganizing and prioritizing what's important. And then essentially five lessons, five lessons and takeaways that Al has gotten from this, from this session, from this episode, and essentially from a bit of research. I did this a long time ago, not with a podcast, but with the men on the inside talking about butterflies. We're going to be diving into revisiting that. But for all of you, and revisiting that in a way where you can look at the life cycle of a butterfly and how it actually applies to you, not only as a man, but as a husband, as a father, what are the different cycles and stages that you go through? It's not about life being one big cycle. We're not going to be here for a couple of months to a year and then we're dead. Like most butterflies, but essentially within the big cycle of our own life is many, many, many, many, many, many cycles in that which we love and care about, our relationships, ourselves, our business, what we're doing to move forward and to win. You know, just before we start, I use that word, win a lot. What does that actually mean to you? I want you to sit back, make sure you're giving yourself the space and time here to really dive deep with me into the life cycle that you might be in the middle of currently going through. The hardships, the changes, the pain, the adversities. This is obviously a life cycle and an example that is successful. But a lot of them aren't, are they? What does winning look like to you? What does winning actually mean to you? Because here's the thing, when you talk about success and all the other different moving parts, a lot of us look to others to draw inspiration, to draw direction, to draw guidance of what they actually should or shouldn't be having in their life. And the unfortunate part with this man is we get exposed to a lot of bullshit or a lot of different conditioning out there in the world where a, you don't know where the True, original source of whatever agenda being pushed is coming from. And B, because of A, you actually don't know whether they have your best interests at heart or. Or what they're trying to drive or push onto you. So when we're looking for a high performance father in terms of success, what success means, it is absolute and paramount that we do this in the constructs, the container, the framework of our HPF principles. Meaning you don't just go out and make millions and millions of dollars. You don't just go out and fucking spend all day with your family. Don't just go out and become Mr. Olympia. You make sure your physical and mental health is stable and solid. Because one of the biggest missing parts in a man's life is capacity. He doesn't have the capacity to perform, but also juggling and creating balance. So if you want true success across the board of what a man's life can be, not a business owner, not a father, not a husband, not a member of society, what you as a man, your life can be, it's all of it. Why? Because you can. Why should you? Because you can. How could you? Well, we show you and we will show you and we'll continue to show you, not just through these podcasts, but through our group where we have go and we have courses and obviously coaching sessions available, as well as the inner circle, our mastermind. And what we do there is just phenomenal. The environment's insane. So we're going to dive into the life cycle here. But I want you to just kick back and go, well, what does winning look like for me? Have you listened to al enough? Have you listened to these podcasts to the point where you know deep in your heart exactly what that is, but you're still sitting on the sidelines and you haven't quite taken that step yet. And that's okay. It needs to be your step that has to be taken. We're not here to be your legs for you. But essentially, when we're looking at winning and success, you need to define that on your own terms. If you connect to what we do and the message and what we live and breathe, fantastic. I mean, it's one that hasn't failed us yet, right? It's incredible to have the perspective around what we believe to be winning, what we believe to be success is something that is possible and it gives you the highest level of fulfillment and reward across the board of the entirety of your life. Which also means that what you're going to leave your children when you are dead, when you Die is going to be a phenomenal legacy from which they're standing on your shoulders. They can reach further, they can see further, reach higher and they can build an even greater legacy off the back of yours. Who wouldn't want that? I mean, everything aside black and white, spirituality, all the other shit in between, who the fuck would not want that? At the highest level inside of the man's life when he's breathing his last breath on his death head going, fuck yeah, man, like, have a look. You might not say those exact words, but hey, this is, this is incredible. I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready to move on. I have exhausted all that life has to offer. What an amazing. You know what that is? That's true peace. A man being truly peaceful in himself. So we're going to go through the life cycle here as well as the lessons of what the life cycle of a butterfly teaches us. Take this ride, take this journey with me. When we're talking about butterflies and also the lessons, there's some powerful lessons here at the end that I'll go through. Five very powerful lessons that you can take on board and apply to your life right away. But come on this journey with me and the whole time have this from a picture being painted of you being the one who needs to create better life cycles inside of his life and then defining what that looks like for you. Anywhere from the egg, the larva or the caterpillar, the pupa or the chrysalis, so to speak. Written a couple of notes here so I don't fuck the words up. That's the cocoon or the obviously the but butterfly. So when we're diving in here, the life cycle of a butterfly, it's very interesting the time that's spent. Now of course there are variables, you can look it up quite easily and there are some variables and ranges here with each cycle, but essentially we're looking for the low hanging fruit, the averages as an egg, the butterfly stays in the form, in the shape of an egg for three to seven days. That's three to seven days, right after that it then moves into a larva or caterpillar. So three to seven days as an egg, it then obviously grows and becomes and molds and forms into a caterpillar, a gutsy motherfucker, mind you, eating 100 times its weight. That is its sole purpose as a caterpillar, eating anything and everything obviously within its nutritional breakdown. Once Ken, our energy coach has done a nutritional protocol for the caterpillar with protein, carbs and fats but eating everything it can. Now, the caterpillar will stay in this form. The larva eating, like I said, 100 times its size, it eats. And I mean, you look at the weight of a leaf, it's not very heavy, it eats a lot. But looking at. And obviously they don't weigh much too. But 100 is 100, man. That's a lot. Like eating 100 times your size would be someone like me, obviously, at 110 kilos, you do the maths that times 100, that's a lot of food. Like, that's. I don't know about you, but I think I would struggle to eat 11 tons in 21 days, 10 to 21 days. So it's already at least triple, at least triple the time that it's spent as an egg. From there, you've got an egg, you've got the larva, which is the caterpillar. And then I'm going to talk about symbolically, what this means for you as a man, what this means for me as a man, for us as men in this world. It then moves into the pupa or the chrysalis or chrysalis stage, and that's where it starts to develop itself. A nice little cocoon, a bit of a protection, obviously, whilst it's going through a pretty phenomenal thing called metamorphosis. It really is phenomenal to see what happens here. Look, it can be anywhere from roughly around a month is the average, but depending on the time of year, it can be up to 300 days. Especially around colder climates and winter, where it's obviously going to be hibernating, but on average it stays in that for around a month. So straight away you've got between around that sort of 3 to 7 or 3 to 10 day mark as the egg. You've got the 10 to 21 or 10 to 25 day mark as the caterpillar eating the fuck out of anything it can get its mouth on. That obviously serves it well. And then it's moving into becoming this cocoon that can be in there for about a month straight away. You've already got two months. Starts as an egg, moves into being a caterpillar, then makes itself a nice little pupa or cocoon to then create and allow this metamorphosis to begin. I just want to stop there for a second. I want you to think about what that would mean to you. What does this cycle of the egg mean to you? What is that? Is that you birthing an idea? Is that you creating? Is that you Adjusting or shifting your perspective is that you changing what is you currently see as your reality. This is an important thing. Like a lot of people, they absolutely have their own reality. There's 8 billion people in the world, 8 billion realities. The hard part is that reality doesn't necessarily line up as truth. It may be your internal truth, but when it comes to the outside world, the external environments and external reality worlds collide. Let me be clear here. That's what fucks most people up. They think with absolute certainty. And this is where it's a danger for a lot of women because of how emotionally driven they are. They craft and create stories in their head, which means they move from past pleasure or pain to future fear or fantasy, the good, the bad and the ugly. Because the good in the past and the future, without the now to act on, can become dangerous very quickly. It can all become bad. And unravel your absolute reality by having this belief system that no, this is what it is, this is how it is. I'm emotionally driven. Or worse yet, men on the other side, we bury our head in the sand and turn a blind eye and then we get fucked because we actually don't have any idea of what's going on in the world and we're just treading water and keeping our head above water, trying to make the day and steady the chaos and the whirlwind every single day in our life. Very challenging when you're bouncing between timelines without being present. Very challenging when you're in the present and you haven't stopped to reflect and review what is you actually want. And when I look at this life cycle, it's not that I'm cognitively biased towards our pathway or our pillars in alignment. Energy immersion performance. But I'll tell you what, fuck mate, you know, without the egg and the egg then transferring to becoming caterpillar, there is no alignment, there is no energy and then there is no immersion as it becomes a cocoon, the environment and then obviously performance. Well, I mean, look at the performance. This thing that starts as an egg becomes a caterpillar. You look at a caterpillar out in public or trees or in your garden or plants and you look at that, you go, man, that's going to become a beautiful butterfly in not too long a period of time. That's fucking crazy. I don't know about you guys, but that is just mind bending, man. That is mind boggling. Where inside of your life are you not either a planting the seeds? That's a bit of a different visualization But A, having the eggs that you're then nurturing and bringing to life and then B, moving into a process of development and metamorphosis. We call it evolution, we call it growth. We use a lot of different words inside H, but obviously the word is a tangible point A to point B, where it's been such a big journey that you've completely evolved and transformed yourself in your life. Are you just moving through life, going for the kill, just trying to birth a butterfly, Birth a butterfly, birth a butterfly, create changes, looking for the quick fix, trying to scurry around and save yourself to the point where you feel lost, you don't get the rewards or the results. And any results you get are short lived because they're built on a poor foundation and you're left stuck and fucked. This is the hard part, men. When it comes to not understanding that everything in life has a cycle, do you think time exists? No, it doesn't. It's pure rhythms and cycles of organic life organisms. The sun, the moon, everything else in between. You getting old, gray hair, wrinkles, all of this day and night. Like I said, they're all rhythms and cycles. So I want you to ask yourself the question, what does this actually mean for you? What does this mean for you? Inside of the seeds that are not being planted, where are the eggs? Do you have any at all? As a father, as a husband, as a man? Do you have any ideas that you are creating? Any shifts in your belief systems, any adjustments in your perspectives? Is this something this podcast is. This is a bit of a different approach to a lot of our other episodes that we've done. Essentially when you go through over 200 episodes, I don't want to downplay the value and say the message is always the same, but essentially the core elements of the makeup and the formula is pretty fucking close. This is a different way for you to look at it and go, you know what? If you're in a bit of a shit cycle or a rut, no fucking worries, mate. Let's break out of this and let's move forward to a different direction or a different path and create a different change inside of our life. This too shall pass, but only if you break that cycle and create another cycle. You have something that needs to die. No worries. When that thing you have that you're holding onto, you can finally let go of and let die. You have space and time and room to create. It is that simple. The universe will always equalize. It always balances out. Three to 10 days, three to seven days. The egg, the larva, the pupa, and then the butterfly. Butterflies, on average live up to a month, a couple of weeks, couple of weeks and that's it. Now, there are extreme species and cases where they can live up to a year, just like with the pupa, they can stay in their little cocoon for up to a year, depending on hibernation and whatnot. But when we're looking at the averages, we've got between three to 10 days as an egg, we've got 10 to 21, 10 to 25 days as the caterpillar, eating a shitload, trying to get as massive as possible, as many nutrients as possible. And then we've got the pupa in the cocoon, which is around a month. And then you've got the butterfly, this beautiful thing, this beautiful creation. Couple of weeks. Isn't it funny, the irony of it all? The dichotomy of life, life and death. Couple of weeks and it's gone. It's crazy, man. It's crazy. When we're looking from a time perspective, we're going to look at the percentages here. The butterfly, as a butterfly, is not very long. Is not very long. Which means all of the shit that you're currently going through, it doesn't have to last. It doesn't have to last long. Sometimes you'll find that you're under the pump. Sometimes you'll find your backs against the wall. Fucking great, mate. You've got something to push off. Push off and get the fuck back in the game and start taking action again. That goes hand in hand with the great times. You'll have great results, great rewards, great success. But that too is not going to last forever. This is where it becomes critical that we understand that you are either growing or dying. It is that simple. And there are a lot of commercialized sayings and quotes, and I hate how much that's been fucking flogged, I really do. Because there is not this articulation or this expansion on it. There's not this perspective. It's just you're growing or dying and blah, blah, blah. But for us, dialing in specifically for a man, for a father, for a husband, your relationship is either growing and going leaps and bounds to the next stage. You're not going to be fucking teenagers ever again. What's the next evolution? What's the next life cycle? What's the next stage? Or it's dying, it is starving to death. And one day, bang, it's all over and you're shocked. Come on, mate, let's get our head out of it. Let's get our head out of our hands because we're exhausted. Let's get our head or our entire body out of the sand where we feel like we've just hidden away from the facts of life. And let's have a look at the cycle that was to be the outcome that led to the inevitability of. Yeah, no, this was not. This was not ideal because I didn't nurture it. We weren't growing, we weren't expanding. Growth comes in many forms. Same with fatherhood. There's a level of dependence and then independence with your children. And then there can be codependence where you are an integral part of their life and you're continuously leading in your 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s as they are starting to mature into adults, into their 20s, 30s, and 40s. This is what I believe to be, like I said, symbolic. These four things. And then we're going to dive into the five key takeaways. My five, my big five lessons that I've learned from understanding what we've done and establishing an understanding of the life cycle of butterfly, but also what we've done on the inside with our high performance father program and the thousands of fathers we've connected with and lives we've helped and the ripple effect that that's carried through their family. 5 less that you can take and you can apply, starting with a shift in your perspective, but you can apply to your life immediately. To start putting the runs on the board in your favor, to start getting the wheels in motion. If the wheels have fallen off, no worries. Fuck them, put them back on, bolt them up and get moving in the right direction. The very first one, the egg. Three to seven days. I see this as a perspective, an idea or a belief system. It all starts now. There's no way in the world I can give you a series or a set of actions to follow through on and take if A, you don't believe in it, or B, you are not in the right state or perspective to see what needs to be seen. What I mean by that is things like motivation and all the other inspirational things mean fuck all. If deep into the core of you, you are not adopting a shift in your belief system which comes from adjusting your perspective or how. What perspective is how you are choosing to see something. How are you choosing to see your marriage right now? As a victim or Victor, as a fucking leader or a leech? How are you choosing to see your relationships with your children as their father? Are you trying to Supplicate and give them everything and just be their fucking mate. They'll have plenty of mates that come and go in their life. They'll only have one father. They should only have one true father, a mentor, leader, hero. Not the fucking suits or the capes on Hollywood screens. You, perspective, which is why I love these podcast episodes. We are here to, yes, elevate your state. You want to call that motivation, great, but elevate your state, which means whatever elevates will then come down. We need to elevate our state and then adjust and maintain that state or that point of perspective or multiple perspectives. To start to see your life, to start to see the world in a different way, to start to see your world in a different way, to start to ask quality questions of your internal world, the external world, what's actually happening inside of your life and what needs to happen. What facts need to be true for you to look back and go, man, 2022 was one of the greatest years of my life. And this is why. This is how, this is what changed. Because feelings are one thing and facts are another. You absolutely need both in your life to drive the greatest success as a man, husband and father. So I see the egg. Short period of time, that's all you need, right? It's just that moment. It's flicking switches, switching gears. So you go, hey, this needs to change. Where I am right now needs to change. What I'm doing needs to change. Do others need to change? Of course your wife isn't fucking perfect, neither is mine. And your children aren't perfect, neither are mine. Everyone owes it to themselves to change. But here's the question, especially for those guys who almost certainly wouldn't listen to my podcast, who throw fucking shit and seeing what sticks on our Facebook ads, what the fuck are you doing about it? Where's this program for women? What about women? What about mums? What about, oh, this is a fault, this is a blame, not blaming anything. Like, if you want to blame. If you really want to pin me down to something, you know, I will blame all men for not doing what they fucking can in themselves. Which is a pretty fair. It's a pretty fair finger to point, right? So don't worry about who's right or wrong. If you want to look at not judgment or blame, but essentially ownership, yeah, you should fucking own everything that you should own the end. Otherwise, what power do you have? What life cycle do you think you're going to create if you're just pulling your pants down and fucking bending over and letting the world give it to you. This is my point, gentlemen, when I'm talking about shifting perspective, changing your belief systems, adjusting. You don't need long. It's an idea. Everything starts as an idea. One guy, like, he was phenomenal back in the day, I must say. You know, obviously I loved him when I was a kid, but man, Michael Jordan, right at the end of his documentary, it all started with hope. I was like, fuck, that's pretty cool. You look at a guy who's just done a ridiculous amount of work, like, relentless. His tenacity is second and none. A ridiculous amount of work. But yet he still comes back to. It all started with hope. What's hope like? Hope is a perspective around an idea. Gentlemen, the egg is crucial. You don't have any eggs in your life. You will be fucked. You must start to either collect. You put them all in one basket. You better look after that basket. You spread them out across many baskets. You will be exposed as well. What are the core elements from which you need to start looking? These aren't chocolate eggs either. The Easter bunny in his basket. What are you doing to birth an idea? Is it listening to these podcasts or watching these videos or looking at our coaching program? A member who is on the inside fucking a man. Like, you're going to be listening to these sorts of podcasts as you all say the same thing, and it's going to hit home with you in a completely different way. Why? Because you're completely immersed in what we do and how we operate. So you get different messages to a father who's on the outside. Good. Doesn't mean this can't serve a father on the outside. It serves everyone. But what are you taking from this? To apply and serve yourself starts with an idea of perspective. Doesn't need long, doesn't take long. It is just switching gears, switching modes. Hey, just look right a little bit. Just look left a little bit. Just tweak where you're looking. Take those fucking glasses off. Have some clarity. Get some vision back. That's all it takes. That's what I see as the egg. Stage one, stage two. Well, eating 100 times its weight. Triple the time of the idea, right? Focus, get to work. That's it. Focus and get to work. Focus and get to work. What is your most important thing? What's your mitt? What are your targets? What are your actions? Version? Who do you need to become? We call that it's have. These are our acronyms on the inside. They're also part of our high Performance father journal. What's your most important thing? Focus. Get to work. Focus. Get to work. The caterpillar isn't going around just fucking chomping air. He's finding leaves. He's finding what will serve him best. He's staying within the right environment so he's secure, stable and nourished. And is he? He is eating the fuck out of anything he can get his mouth on that is ticking those boxes. He's not just eating air. Focus. What is this? It'll nourish me. Good, let me have it. What is this? It'll nourish me. Good, let me have it. Stage two is building actions, physically and mentally, actions inside of your life. It's continually doubling down on your worldview and 10xing or at least tripling down on the actions you're taking. You might have fucked yourself in the ass for 3, 5, 8, 12 years when it comes to your business, your marriage, your relationships with your children, yourself, your health, your mental health. Fair enough, fair play. You're here and now, though. That's all that matters. I'm not here to unpack. Fucking hate that term. I'm not here to unpack what happened when you were four years of age on the farm or at home or at work, with mum or dad, or at school, in the playground or with your first girlfriend. 14 years. I'm not here to unpack that shit. We're here and now. You can acknowledge and recognize what has happened as a tool to A, never go back there, but B, to empower you to go, well, this is what I'm going to fucking do about it. Stage two is building, taking massive action because even though it might be 3, 8, 12 years, 15 years that you've done some great things, but also done yourself an injustice or a disservice towards the wholesome parts of life in family, self and service, you don't need that much time to turn it all around. You can absolutely turn this around very rapidly, very quickly within our 12 month program. It's ridiculous, man. I cannot stress how crazy it is, how important it is to have the right environment, but how crazy the results are on the inside. It's. I don't know why I keep getting. I don't get surprised, but it does blow me away. But I guess I keep getting inspired because it's just another win. The odds of the world, the world is impossible. The odds of the world are stacked against us. They're stacked against men, they're stacked against fathers. So when we see this 1% of the 1% of the 1% on the inside just dominating. That's fucking incredible. Why? Because the world's surrounded by fucking shit. So does it surprise me? No. But does it inspire me and blow me away? And I get goosebumps every single time, man. It can happen in an accelerated format, but much like the caterpillar, you need to focus. You need to build. You need to focus. You need to build. These are my interpretations of the life cycle converted to us as men, as human beings. And then we're going to dive into the five lessons and wrap this bad boy up. Building stage 200 times hundred x. Physically and mentally building yourself, solidifying your new, your adjusted idea, belief systems, perspectives and worldviews to serve you, not the other way around. To yes, respond if and when you need to, but ultimately to create and recreate, not to react. And that's critical. If this caterpillar doesn't do this, he's fucked. Like, he's gone. Like, what's, what's the point? What do you have to work with? You've got nothing. He won't even be able to form up the cocoon. He's gone. Of course environment plays a role in all of this. He's not in the right environment. Well, he's going to get eaten. Something else will pluck him out and he's gone. Game over. Better luck next time. But essentially this is why he triples down, man. And he triples down in a great way. He's not here to go. Alright, well, yeah, I'll just eat a bit of food and see what happens. Like, man, I'm moving like three and a bit weeks. That's a lot of food. That's a lot of tucker. Stage three pupa. This is where the metamorphosis happens. Generally up to a month, depending on hibernation, can be a year. Number three. I see that as. I know I just spoke about environment, but I see that truly as. Yes, that is absolutely your environment. And, and it's incredible. You have a look at what they create there. So what stage three is, the idea has been born. The perspective, the belief systems, the worldview. Fantastic. What are you going to do about it? Well, I'm going to fucking get to work out. Good. I'm going to tick this box, this box, this box. Bang. Get into it. Focus and do the work. Focus and do the work. Then stage three, environment. Doing the work on the inside. Right. This is when it becomes a part of your true belief system. Why? Because you're starting to change. You're starting to See results. You are in the right environment, or you are continually either influencing, immersing, or creating the right environment. All three. I'm not the one who kicks back and goes, hey, this is hpf. It needs to fucking be this way. The 250 men on the inside right now, as of today, like, they are a much larger energy source than me as an individual. Much larger. Like, the energy is fucking insane. We've just started our Winter wars competition. Holy shit. You should see that. That's next level, man. Those of you who struggle through winter, I feel for you because it's the greatest time of year for us. We absolutely fucking dominate. Why? Because of the environment. The energy is infectious, and it goes both ways. It's contagious in a great way because of leadership, following with action, following through doing what you said you would do and leading by example with the actions that you take. Environment. So that's continually doing the work that is developing. You are developing and evolving. This is a larger portion of time. This is the largest portion of time. So sometimes to unseen eyes behind closed doors, doing the work when no one else is around, being inspired from this podcast or the tribe, all the men or the coaches, but then taking that and applying that to your life individually. I'm not inside of your kitchen cooking your food for you or counting your reps in the backyard when you're training with the kids and the dog running around. You're fucking doing the work. That's your victory. And social media might not see it. The world might not see it. Who fucking cares? You're seeing it. You're believing it. You are seeing literally, physically, literally the changes inside of your life, inside of your relationship. The messages with you and your wife. The communication going from separate rooms back into the same bed. Honey and handsome time, rekindling the flame. You cannot like. We'll talk about money. I'll tell you what you can afford. You can afford those sorts of experiences and that love and warmth inside of your household when you stand up and take the right fucking actions and create change in your life and lead. That's what you can afford. You afford these phenomenal experiences that completely revolutionizes your life. What's the word here? Metamorphosis. Think about that. Egg caterpillar, butterfly. This is where the work is done. The bulk of the work. 40 to 60% of the time. We're talking about percentages here, with the days, on average, with a butterfly. The same here. The hard part is that 40 to 60% is a big fucking chunk that never gets taken on board by the man. Because he's either down and out, he's the lone wolf falling apart behind closed doors, going it alone, or he's looking for the next shiny object, flashy thing that's around the corner from which he'll fail at again. So he has no belief in himself, so he fails. And that's the universal flaw. Across the world, all of you guys who are down and out listening to this, your biggest problem above all the words, relationships, external things, tangible things you can look at. Your children, your job, your money, everything else, all that comes down to is one thing. You do not believe in yourself. You lack the belief necessary to stand up and claim what should be rightfully yours. And I get it, man. That's why we have the tribe. It's why it's our most valuable and powerful asset. The network of men on the inside of high performance father. Everything else is amazing. But that tribe, and when you have someone else that raises that belief in you because they believe in you, you start to see the belief in yourself. And I've always said this to the men on the inside. I don't see you as you currently are. I see you for who you can become. I can already see where these men are before they can. It's not a gift, it's a skill set over time. When you have that game over, man, environment, doing the work, what's happening, consistency. Organs are being created like this. Caterpillar is turning, wings are being grown, designed, developed. Off the back of what? Simply an idea. Couple of days as an egg eating a shitload and then allowing this metamorphosis. I love that word, allowing this transformation to unfold and unfolding in the right environment, doing the work. You think he's going in there and having a sleep. There's a shitload going on just because people can't see it. That's why I love using my zone and some of the other things we track. I'll look up, I'll be like, fuck, man, look at these guys. Look at the amount of work they're putting. I can see that. Blood, sweat and tears. It's insane. Tears of joy, tears of pain during the workout. It's insane. It's incredible. The third stage, the longest stage, is absolutely your environment consistently doing the work and building, building off the platform of the idea in your head. Your worldview, your belief systems, your perspective. Going out and getting runs on the board in that first or that second stage. But that first phase of being a caterpillar, hooking in man, taking massive action Relentless amounts of action to counteract the resistances that the world, life, the universe. The bird looking down that wants to fucking eat him. Everything that's getting thrown at him. Everything that's getting thrown at you, tripling down and going, no, no, I need to convert this and I need to convert quickly and large. I need to go all in. When people say, I'll do whatever it takes, or I'm all in, or it just fucking words. And it's not to discredit you. And I'm definitely not a cynical man. Those who've listened to this know how optimistic I am through a recognition of action that's taken in my own life and the men on the inside. But they're just words. That's all they are. Like, until you actually, especially if you say things like all in and whatever it takes, you can be fucking careful with your words, man, because 99% of the time they don't do that, which means you're lying to yourself, which means you're pulling yourself down, which means come back to the universal flaw you do not believe. The modern world with all this, all this, you know, magic, this black magic and this, it's almost like fucking witchcraft. The words that we cast out in today's world, not just on ourselves, in our thoughts, but to our children. The words we speak to them, to our wives, all lies. You gotta be willing to go all in. Have a look at this caterpillar, man. He's fucking all in. He's eating like he's never eaten before. He's building this cocoon and completely transforming whatever it is he is, into something beautiful, something new. Stage three is the environment. Stage four is the results, the outcomes. It's that simple. It's the outcome. What's the outcome? I don't know. Maybe some butterflies are playing. But essentially across the board, it's a pretty fucking beautiful thing. It is a beautiful byproduct of what was born, what was created, and then the work being done. When you look at the time, sometimes it's just days. It's crazy, but it says here, in what I've looked up, the average is a few weeks. And again, for some rare species can be up to a year. But the averages is. Yeah, you know, you're looking at probably two to almost three months to get to this stage. The fucking things are alive for a couple of weeks. That's 10%. What are you doing? Like, even 20%. What is. What is the 80% of the work that you're doing that becomes 20% of the most valuable rewards or what is the 20% that is a byproduct off the back of behind closed doors, the 80% of the work that you're doing, or if we're looking at probably the true averages, it's probably a 90 10. Like the 10% that you see in me, in my life, the 10% that you see in what we showcase with HPF. The 10%, the snippets of my personal success, my success with my family, my success with my body, my success with my marriage, all that sort of shit that you see that you follow. The 90% is fucking enormous. To get that 10%. Massive, massive, massive in time, massive in energy, massive in adversity. The 10%, it's done, the results done, the work is done. Like it's, it's complete. The quality of these podcasts, what are you, what you are seeing. But you know, the way that I'm talking, the words that I talk, all that sort of stuff. Go back to the earlier podcast, you'll see the change. You can see it very easily. That's why I redid the first episode. Not redid and replaced, but I redid it as episode. I think it's 179just to go, hey, who is Alex back in episode one. All right, we're into our fourth season. Who is Alex again? The butterfly Gentleman is the 10%. It's the small short lived success. It is the end game off the back of the. The byproducts of all the work that's been done. Ego upstream to the source. It started as an idea, something that was birthed or created an egg. It then moved into this fucking beast, this creature, this animal, this absolute titan, this warrior who is just relentlessly not destroying everything in his path, but carving out and claiming and creating everything within the path of what he can control. It's really interesting. I was having a thought the other day about. Yeah, it's surprising, isn't it? I had a thought the other day around my life and where it's gone. I haven't always gotten what I've wanted at any, at a specific time or at every specific time of my life when I've had a desire for something. I haven't always gotten what I've wanted. But I tell you what, 99, almost 100% of the time, I've always fucking done what I've wanted. Just because I've always done what I've wanted doesn't mean it's always aligned. This is why alignment's so important. Doesn't mean it's always aligned with getting what I've wanted. But I've always fucking done what I've wanted, man, on my terms. Like, yeah, you know what, I'm gonna fucking do this, you know, after school I'm gonna go and try it for this team and I want to go just fucking push as far as I can in rugby league. 18 months later, I'm on the fringe. First grade. From nothing to training with first grade squads with the Panthers. Yeah. What I always wanted to fucking have a gym. Since I turned my life around with health and fitness, I thought, why not that be the path? Did I get the fruits of my labor monetary wise? No, of course not. My businesses were failing, they were fucking dog shit because they didn't understand or learn about business or serving people at a higher level became a facility for, you know what? I'm going to become a phenomenal athlete in CrossFit now and fill that void in my life. I'm going to become the fittest and strongest man in the arena of CrossFit for my size in the world. And I was. And so there are things where, yeah, I got it, but then across the board, did I really get what I wanted? My business was fucked, my marriage was falling apart, it's falling down. But I always did what I wanted. Now, I know that's quite a loose term. It's like, you can't just do whatever you want and jump off and grow wings and fly. I'm not talking about that shit, don't pull my words apart. But essentially I've gotten up and gone, I'm going to fucking get after this and I'm going to do it. This is what I want to do. But where does that come from? Where does the want and the desire to do what is that you want to do? Well, it comes from first, your current position, your identity and belief systems, and secondly, what you desire, which is what I mean, when it doesn't always line up. This is what I want to do, this is what I want to get. It doesn't always line up. This is life. You know that. It's never a straight line, but I have a look at this, I'm like, yeah, right, you've got the egg. Fucking bang. All right, caterpillar, get out and eat. Do it. All right, Become the cocoon. All right, Become the butterfly. It doesn't always work out that way. The life cycle is long, it's short, it's good and bad. You know, there could be a creature that just runs past, knocks it off, a low Hanging plant that cocoons there on the ground, then it gets fucking squashed by another creature's foot. Okay, game over. This is life. But if you start with the idea, the perspective which comes off the back of asking questions, who the fuck do I want to be as a man? Who do I want to be as a father? Who do I want to be as a husband? Who do I want to be as a man in business, in building and creating and providing value and service for society, for communities, with a ripple effect in a genuine way with love and leadership? If that is your underpinning foundation, if that is your pillar to move from, then doing whatever is that you want to do in alignment with that should always be fucking great things. Doesn't mean you don't miss the mark or drop the ball. I do as well. But this is what I'm talking about, gentlemen. When I come to cycles, life cycles, the life cycle of a butterfly, we're going to go through our five top lessons and wrap this up. Is the same as the life cycle for us as men. What is the idea? What is it that you're birthing? What is it that you're creating inside of your life? And then what are you doing about that? To turn the tides, turn the odds in your favor? Because you haven't been doing it. So you need to triple down on the work. You need to take a shitload more work than what you were. And it's not just the volume, it's not just working smarter, it's not just working harder. It's both tripling down, building skill sets, getting your time and energy going. Bang. This is my most important thing, not watching fucking television or drugs or alcohol or pornography or all this other shit that gives you that little fucking hit and then relaxes you. A lot of you men, you're at fucking war. Like you're at war, mate. You can't just kick back and fucking have a hit of dopamine. You need to get your fucking shit together and get your ass into gear and move. Now's not the time to relax and look back for those little shiny objects you need to take. You need to take your kingdom back. You need to climb those fucking walls or break through those walls, or get the old trebuchets, the old catapults and break that shit down and take your kingdom back, man. You're not here to relax and just fucking twist the ears off it or watch some TV or eat some shit food. You need to fucking get in and you need to hook in and create the change. Now you need to be this caterpillar 100x its body weight in eating. That's how fucking hungry you need to be. But when you do that, you build a strong and foundational environment from which you can consistently transform. And then out comes the butterfly. The fruits of your labor and the rewards and the success. I hope this is helping and serving you men well. As we look to wrap this up, five lessons. Al's top five. Lesson number one. Your time, your life, your success is short lived. It's not a bad thing. So we're working in reverse order if you think about it. And we're looking at the butterfly now. First lesson, your time here, your life is short lived. Your time short lived. Your success is short lived. So what does that mean? Rinse and repeat. You need to keep cycling and recycling. What's working? Good. Triple down on that. Do it again, do it again. Better butterfly. Bigger butterfly, Stronger butterfly. Fucking do it again, do it again. Awesome. That didn't work. Change that. Do it again. Adjust this, do it again, Create this, do it again. That environment great. That environment gone. Your time, your life, your success is short lived. Which means, yes, you are growing or dying. And when you do die, no worries, you can birth a new cycle, a new life cycle for you as the man, as the husband, as the father. What's the cycle in your relationship right now you're going through a good month, a bad month, a good year, a bad year. What can you do about it? What can you do to bridge the gap, Bring some communication back in, get alignment, leverage her emotional triggers, her love languages and leverage how phenomenal you are with your logical thought processes and state of mind. Don't supplicate and be a fucking punching bag. Don't be the tyrant and burn everything to the ground. Find that center where you can logically look at and I can look at and go, okay, My wife's birthday is coming up in a few weeks in June. Fantastic. I'm going to use my factual mind and figures and my logical pathway to go. This is what I'm going to plan and create for her and the control and influence I can have around a great birthday for her because I can get that shit done and organize it and make it timely. Fantastic. Then what does that convert into her emotional attachments in the rewards and what she gets and obviously the significance together and what I'm providing, giving her as her husband. Bang. Cycles. There are always cycles. Winter, summer, travel, not traveling, lockdowns, the bullshit of the last two years. That's fucked. So Many people up, man. You think it's over? Just warming up. You are going to see the aftermath. The aftershock is insane. We've already seen it in the applications and what's happening with the demand of men with high performance. Father, I'm glad we're here. Your success is short lived. So what's the answer? What do I do? Create lots of successes. Fucking heaps. Bucket loads, truckloads. Huge amounts. Lots of it. Heaps of success. Heaps. Create lots of it. That's what you do. Because the age old saying, you're only as good as the last game you played. It's like. It's like life, man. But you can't even leverage off that anymore because that game's done. Here you are into a new one, into a new one, into a new one. Second lesson. If you want to survive and thrive, you must have the right environment. This is going back to the cocoon or the chrysalis, the pupa. You don't have the right environment, you're fucked. It's like the old. You know that glass ceiling that came from flea circuses and that sort of stuff where they had different ceilings and they literally would breed fleas to certain ceiling heights. So they would only jump so high. They hit the ceiling, no worries. I won't jump that high, so I won't use my legs. Then all of a sudden they're training their children or their offspring to only jump that high. And you've got all these different heights and different glasses. Literally. Their environments created their belief system. Same with the baby elephant. Just a little bit of string around a stake. It's an adult elephant. It is psychologically. It psychologically has a relationship with a thin bit of rope and a stake that is not strong enough to pull it out of the ground. If you want to survive and thrive, you must have the right environment. Without that, you will never be anywhere close to what and who you can be. And the hard and the sad part about it is you won't even ever know where you could be. So when I say you won't even get close to where you could, you won't even know what is it you can be and what it is you can do and who you can be. And that's fucking sad. Because life in a lot of its moving parts and in most of its entirety, it can be limitless, man. It really can. Depends on what you focus on and what you want to achieve as well. But it absolutely can in terms of living the life that you want with the card that You've been dealt the tools that you have. Get some new tools. Get a new fucking deck of cards if you want to survive and thrive. Lesson two, you must have the right environment. Lesson three, whatever hasn't been working requires you to triple down and put the work in to change. So all these things that haven't been working in your life, no worries. Let's triple down, let's cut a lot of that shit away, which means we can bring a lot of good stuff in and triple down to create change. It's not that the caterpillar wasn't working, but he needed to work to create the change. So maybe he doesn't have as much mess as you and me. He's not as burnt or damaged or jaded as people as they get older. But either way, you need to triple down and do the work in any area of your life, if you're a member. If you're not a member, listening to this, watching this, you need to do the work. It's crazy how much I've seen that in my life and how simple it is with footy, with elite sport, with training. I look back some of my sessions where I'll be doing hundreds of burpees, hundreds of pull ups, hundreds of muscle ups, thousands and thousands of meters on the rower, on the bike, on the skier. This is all in one session. You've got to do the work. You must do the work. Whatever hasn't been working. Okay, well, you need to counter that because that shit's part of you right now. It's part of your subconscious. It's part of your makeup, your routines, your habits, your environment. You need to cut some of that shit away, triple down and start working, working hard at creating the change. And you do. Like a lot of these men, we've got too many screenshots to share. It's insane. A lot of these men, it turns around very, very quickly. That's lesson three. Lesson four. Everything starts small. Have a look right at the very start, you see a beautiful butterfly flying around. It's like that shit started. It's a tiny egg or the old bamboo tree. What is it? Underground for four years. Fifth year, it shoots up fucking 60 foot, 90 foot. That's insane. Everything starts small. Just because you can't see it or they can't see it, or it hasn't been seen, doesn't mean it won't happen. It's how it starts that takes me to lesson five. But in lesson four, yeah, everything starts small. And sometimes most of the times, the greatest and largest Solution to the biggest problems you face in your life is actually very small. It's the next small step. It's the first small step. It's one small step, you could have your world in absolute turmoil. And the greatest way to turn it around immediately, directly and actively is actually with a very small step in the right direction. Lesson 5. Real change means real change. Metamorphosis means that point A to point B. Between point A and point B, you are unrecognizable. Egg, caterpillar, butterfly. Unrecognisable. You get anyone who hasn't learnt or been taught about this life cycle of a butterfly, they'd be like, it's an egg, that's something else. It's flying around with wings. Look at the life, look at the energy. It's nothing compared to you on me, on a size factor. But compared to itself, you got this tiny little fucking egg and then you've got this monster compared to that egg of a butterfly flying around, nothing. Immobile, encased. Flying around out there and free. Gentlemen, real change means that you are unrecognizable. I look at my life 12 months ago, unrecognisable, let alone three years, five years ago, unrecognizable. 10 years, massive, massive change. Last 10 years of my life. Which means maybe with a bit of a chuckle and smirk, I'll look back on an episode like this in 10 years time and be like unrecognisable. A few more gray hairs and a few more wrinkles starting to come around the face, but I'll at least have a bigger bench press. Deadlift and back squat building. Building new challenges, new goals. Hope this serves you well. I want you to think as we wrap this up about where you can apply this as a husband. What's the new life cycle you need to birth? What's the idea, the perspective, the belief systems? And we talk about this all the time. Life is selling. Life is sales. Or it's negotiating or it's trading or it's a transfer or exchange of energy. So with your wife you're communicating that, hey, you know what? It's been really fucking tough, okay? Let's sit here in our misery and laugh and go. We didn't have these problems before. Kids, is it your fault? No. Is it my fault? No. Is it the kids fault? No. This is life. So what are we going to do about it? Things are hunky and dory beforehand. Well, this is exposing us for the growth we need to take. We've got less time, less energy, more moving parts More mouths to feed, more responsibility. All right, well, let's sit down. Let's map something out. I want honey and handsome time. Al on high performance. Father talks about it all the time. I want time just for you and me. That doesn't mean sitting in silence. Let's sign up for a funny. You know, an arts class. There's an online one where you get moe and painting and we can have a drop of wine or whatever it may be. You know, you could sign up for something else with her to do together and have a laugh or a piss take with each other or take her out to a nice place where it's not just here's some flowers or here's a fancy restaurant. Actually create an experience or what is her love language and just start working on growing and opening up this egg to become a caterpillar. Where it's like, man, we've got all this love language, physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical gifts. You can hit all five in one if you're good enough. Doesn't mean you have to. It's not about more is always better. Women, most of the time have no fucking idea what they want. So they want everything, right? But essentially this is true, gentlemen, when it comes to cycles, what is the cycle? How did that go? Be smart. True power, reflect. How did that work? Good, bad, yay, nay. What can I do? What do I need to do? That is a father. Dad ventures. Special time, one to one with your kids. You've got one kid, well, that's obviously easier, but you've got two, three, five. No worries. How do I have special time? One to one. That's what I do with my three. Where it's just them. I fill their buckets of power and attention. We do whatever they want. Within the constructs of what an adult mind knows the time of day and is appropriate and whatnot, because kids don't. But essentially, yeah, the floor is yours. What do you want to do? What do you want daddy to do with you? For you? Awesome. Let's do it. And then as a man, feeding and serving yourself. Where is your own life cycle? Something where you haven't got the eggs in place to grow and become this fucking mammoth of a man because you've got poor energy, you have no time. I've got no timer, okay? Jump on the settings, look at your fucking phone and tell me you don't have time. When you show me the social media and you've spent three to four to six to eight hours a day on Average on there. You don't have time because you're not time blocking and chunking. When you collate the most important things, all of a sudden you dissolve the 357-361-1438 minutes of the day that you're just scrolling on your phone and there's a fucking hour. There's another hour. There's another hour. Mike Killington, one of our recruits who did one of our latest podcasts, went from nearly dying to now. Business is better than ever. More time with his family than ever, More time for himself than ever. Yet here is a man who's giving more, yes, to himself and to those around him, but essentially has 30 to 40 hours free a week. It's insane. We average 20, which is insane in itself, but proof is in the pudding, man. What are the life cycles that you need to recognize and cut away and break down? What are the life cycles you need to bring into your, into your armor, into your toolkit to go, well, I need to create this, I need to start moving this direction, this direction, this direction with my family, with myself first, so I can give my family more with my wife, with my business, so you can live the life that you want. Hope this serves you well. Men, the life cycle, life cycles of a father, husband and man comes down to, funnily enough, attaching ourselves to a lot of the message and the symbolism inside of the four life cycles that a caterpillar goes to become a butterfly. And it's pretty crazy how much this absolutely connects and aligns and then from that, from those four stages, aligning that with some valuable lessons. Your time is short, success is short, so you better fucking rinse and repeat. You want to survive and thrive, you must have the right environment. Point number three, whatever hasn't been working, no worries, triple down and get to work. Put the work in and change it. Number four, everything starts small, so don't be disheartened or worried or fearful or self conscious or ashamed. Get to work and fucking do it. And make it big and real change means that point A and point B, they are unrecognizable. Take care, men. Have an amazing day, night, weekday, weekend, charge on. Above all else, take action, move forward and win. Fuck yeah. The dads. And that's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this episode and got some golden nuggets with possibly one or two aha moments as well. If you truly loved and enjoyed what you listened to, then I want to invite you to share this episode with someone who, you know, needs to hear this. It could be your brother, friends, colleagues, your uncle, even your wife. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that none of us are alone in the hardships we face. But the solution to getting back on top, Winning can start with a gift from someone else. And that gift could be an episode like this. Because another man transformed is another family saved. Which is exactly what we're all about. Thriving and winning in life. There is no alternative. It's possible. It has been done. It can be done, so it should be done. Appreciate you support in spreading this message. Cheers, mate.