207. The "Self Made" Myth

This episode is brought to you by our high performance father coaching program where we help men juggle business, marriage and fatherhood to create the greatest balance and impact life has to offer. This is done with our philosophy that is at the core of achieving these phenomenal results in family, self and service and that is investing in yourself first so you can be a true 100% for yourself, but just as importantly for those around you that you love and care about. If you're a father struggling with choosing between your work work and your family, lacking balance and connection in your relationship, what your children need, your own needs whilst building prosperity in your business, head over to highperformancefather.com fill out the form and I'll have my coaches contact you to see how we can help you and if you're a good fit, what it looks like to join the winner's circle on the inside. But for now, take the time to yourself for yourself and enjoy this episode. The Self Made Myth. Welcome to a special episode where we're diving into five reasons. So what is it? What does self made actually mean? What is this self made myth? What does that mean? And then five reasons why it's dangerous. The difference between self made and personal success. There are differences. Doesn't mean you can't have personal victories and wins on the board and have a pathway where you're going. You know what, I did a lot of the work, I pushed hard and I appreciate and acknowledge some of the solo efforts. But there is absolutely a difference between self made and personal success. And then how to maximize top five points personal success. So you are victorious. And it is a bit of a yin and a yang. As much as they sound very similar, self made and personal success, they're actually quite different. Very different. In fact, almost polar opposites. So why is this important? Well, we're going to dive into the five points on why it's dangerous. But this is important because the unfortunate reality for so many men just like you and me is when we enter the stage of fatherhood, our circle, our social networking in our circle and group and our support group either changes or constricts and it really does, it contracts down to a small group. What do you do? You just focus on your family, immediate family survival, future working, hunting, producing, and that's it. What happens for the woman more often than not, it expands. And it expands in a way where yes, women naturally or are conditioned naturally to network better, to talk more, to be more open, more transparent. You know, talking about sore nipples from breastfeeding at Mothers Club and Mums and Bubs classes and special postnatal exercise classes and Mums and Bubs fitness groups and programs, as well as doctor's appointments, as well as common things they see with other mothers pushing a pram in the park. They'll go and make conversation right away. So their network actually expands and opens up. And whilst the road is different for both the man and the woman, they're both incredibly hard for different reasons. Why? Because anatomically, fuck all happens to us, it doesn't change. So there's a lot of confusion. It's very, very hard as a man when there's zero changes to our physical body and we're still primed to go out and hunt, produce. And apart from obviously losing some sleep, we're pretty solid, right? We haven't had our guts cut open or a baby come out of our vaginas or any sort of that other shit. That's pretty traumatic and crazy. Mind you, we had cesareans for all of mine, my children. My wife had three Caesareans. But even that in itself, you've got a long recovery process for the abdomen of the woman. Obviously, hormonally, for the woman carrying this child now the child is out, huge amount of changes. You know, it's just as hard, if not harder in some respects for a man because of the confusion and because of how we're so logically wired. We're just here to fix. It's broken. Let's fix it. It's broken. We're builders. We are creating. We are creating through logic and facts and taking action. So when that gets taken away too, because a lot of the problems, as, you know, as fathers, we can't fix or solve, what do we do? We isolate. We become the lone wolf. We walk the path alone. And then we think, why me? And this is happening to me. And all of a sudden you think, and trust me, I was the same. And it's not. I don't believe it's necessarily a victim mentality per se. It is just a perception built around your environment, and your environment is one that is alone. So how could your perception be wrong when you're on your own? Because I had the same, I don't think it's a victim mentality. But for a lot of us who are like, no one has it as hard as me, this is really, really hard. This is so hard for me. Like, I never thought it would be this tough. And I had the same way to travel to and from with work. I was trying to be an elite athlete. Stella Was an absolute nightmare when it came to sleep. She didn't sleep through for the first time until she was three and a half. But guess what? 80% of the people that I told that story to who were parents were like, wow, that's crazy. I couldn't imagine that. But there was still 20% that said, yeah, ours didn't sleep through till I3, till they're four, till they're four and a half. I was like, fuck, four and a half. Could you imagine that? Nearly five years of broken sleep every single night. That's insane. So here I am, you know, with my big pow wow years ago. Not after the three and a half year period. Obviously a lot changed, but in that first 12 to 24 months I'm like, poor me, she won't sleep. This should be happening. It isn't. You read all these books, you see all this stuff. This is the standard. It wasn't the standard. All of our children have had operations. They've all had issues with grommets with their ears, their tonsils and with their adenoids. Roman had a cleft. Like he had an issue with obviously what separates the food pipe and the windpipe, which means food was going down his windpipe. Like, we've had some pretty tough shit. But you know what? We also haven't had children that have been chronically in hospital for months on end. Yes, they've all had several operations and some children don't have any operations. Smooth sailing for the parents, right? But also, what does that equal down the road when you just settle or you take things for granted? It doesn't mean that any parent who's had an easy run in parenthood to date is taking it for granted. But essentially a lot of these adversities help shape us, but the greatest way they can shape us men is by making sure we're investing in the right environment and not following this whole self made thing. I've heard of self made a lot, whether it's been through entertainment, those sorts of careers, Hollywood or not, obviously businesses, definitely things with sport and whatnot. But I mean, you have a look at it like even someone like Roger Federer or some of the high end tennis players who don't have coaches anymore. They didn't pick up a racket when they're three years of age and just fucking hit the ball and all of a sudden they're self made. And they had zero coaches from 3 years of age to 33 years of age. Obviously not. So what is it? The self made myth? It's a myth but what is self made? It's a belief system. And the self made myth is a belief system that everything you did was off the back of your own actions, of your life, of everything you've done. And I know this might sound contrary to what I always talk about in taking ownership, liberating yourself, taking action, being a leader, living in love and leadership, and leading through love and leadership and all the different moving parts that helps you control what you can. Don't get me wrong, it's a phenomenal quote. It's one that we all discovered the tribesman and I on Sunday night. Action equals ownership. There is no fucking way you can take action and then go, no, nothing to do with me, just wash your hands of it. That's a beautiful thing. It is black and white. It is a universal truth. Action equals ownership. You take action, you have immediate ownership over the actions you take. Whether you speak the words or fluff up the bullshit to young ones, old ones, your other half, or people you don't even know, or yourself in your own head. It's irrelevant. It is the truth. So it might sound contrary when I'm talking about action, taking ownership and responsibility and leadership, all that, but essentially self made is almost a line of arrogance or ego to go, you know what? I can do it all on my own. I have done it all on my own. I'm doing it all on my own. Okay, good for you. You might be a solopreneur, you might run your own business, you might be a one man band, but unfortunately there are five points here we're going to cover that's coming at a cost that's coming at a huge opportunity cost that you have no idea exists. Whether you run your own business or not, relationships are not, fatherhood or not, society or not, you're running a huge risk, man, because the opportunity cost is tenfold. Do you think you've reached your potential? You think because you're either fit or you have a reasonable relationship, or you have some money in the bank or you play with your kids, that everything's all sound and hunky dory? How do you know how much you're fucking holding yourself back? You don't. And that's the dangerous part. So we're going to dive into these five points. But the first thing, what it is, is this belief system, aware or not, like some of you guys who aren't members on the inside, you might be listening this episode going, yeah, I was right, I do fuck all. With anyone else. I'm just on my own. It's just me and my family. You may be someone who's involuntary become the lone wolf and you're just walking your own path. And unfortunately for a lot of men, as they become older and bitter and jagged and jaded, it becomes a stage of, hey, look at all my battle scars. I fucking did this. I'm tough, I'm a survivor. You're not here to survive. Like he's not surviving. Just a fucking standard. Like that's just a standard. Like that's a given. That's not something to wear as a badge of honor in your chest like survival. Dang, that's a given. That's part of your instincts, that's part of your DNA. You shouldn't need to think about that shit. You're here to thrive. You can't thrive on your own. You're self made. That means you are closed off. And you believe that you are the one that does everything on your own and you're the only one that needs to do it on your own. And the own, your own journey, your own path, walking it alone and everything is just you, you, you, you. And this is what I mean about the walking the of ego and arrogance and being naive to the fact that you are not here on your own. You think you're soft, man, did you come walking talking out of the womb, wiping your own ass? I don't think so. So this is the hard part. As we crack open these five points on why it's dangerous. This is the hard part. When it comes to reality, so many people are living a lie. They are hypocrites. They don't even know it. That's the, that's, that's the most frustrating and probably hypocritical part about it. They don't even know. The greater you can peel back the layers and have such an abstract series of truths and abstracts the word or not. Whether it's ugly, whether it looks deformed or whether it looks nice and clean. Getting clear on your truths and going, this is where it is, this is where it's at. This is where I'm at. Then you finally, finally have your point A. How do you know how to get to point B. I want to travel to Italy. Fantastic. Where are you coming from? Because it's a completely different course if you're in Greece or if you're in Russia or if you're in Australia. Where are you coming from? You want to travel to Italy? Fantastic. What the fuck is your game plan if you don't even know where you're coming from you are lost. You will have no idea on how to get there because you don't know how to connect the dots for the A to B because there is no A. And this is the problem with society. You're focusing on the point minus A, the shit that you don't like, that you've fallen into pit on your own. How can anyone pull you out when you are the lone wolf and you are self made, so to speak, Successfully or not walking through life alone. And how do you even know where to start if you're focusing on the point minus A on the pit and you're just looking down at the ground and you can't even look up. But then when you look up, you look up into the sky to find that point B. In that fantasy, it's like what's ahead of me? Where do I place my next foot when I'm walking and where am I walking and what does that direction look like? I used to love watching the bush tucker man. He was a gun fuck. He had a good hat back in the day too. But how can anyone do that? Walk it, walk the path alone? They can't. Even the bush tucker man is an example. He's using tracks, animals, feces obviously, his sense of smell, all the different moving parts in his connection. Just like the indigenous people in Australia, no matter how far inland or not you are, where you are located, there are so many other factors that you are hinging yourself around to be able to connect to what it is that you're actually pursuing. And this is my point, when I talk and I spoke about this in our Sunday Charge up with the Tribe about this scam of a thing called independence. Have a look at what it's done to women. Fucking destroyed them, man. Men go out and hunt, produce. Why? So they can give more to their family. Women go out and enter the that the world of careers more often than not. Not going to pigeonhole everyone. But more often than not, why? To scream I'm independent whilst you come home to the same fucking place in the roof over the head that your husband put there for you. This is the crazy part with society. All of a sudden we feel like independence is the key. Independence is the goal. You will always be dependent on something that's not me. Al, I've got solar panels. Cool. Who put them up? I put them up myself. Fantastic. Are you controlling the sun as well? Did you create the sun and you're making the sunshine down and just parting the clouds with your hands so that it can fucking give you some Power. What about water? This is the crazy part. Even if you think you're independent or living off the grid or you're living in a place where you are self sustained, you're not there is always a dependency. Why? Because what you are connected to internally is immediately so that's your thoughts, your feelings, your belief systems, your emotions is immediately and inextricably woven like that's it's impossible for you to unweave them. Goes hand in hand like a plaque that can never be undone with your external environment. Not just people, also places and things. This is five reasons why it's dangerous for you to focus on this mindset and think that this is your absolute or this is the belief system that's going to serve you all. When A it hasn't and B it doesn't. The first point is it limits your potential. Think about this, everything I've just shared on that example. You've only got your set of eyes, whether you read books or not, without the application to get feedback from outside sources. That doesn't mean it defines who you are. And other people's criticisms define who you are, constructive or not. But it limits your potential. Why? Because you are only seeing what you can see instead of looking at how limited your potential is by going alone. Ask yourself the question, what don't I see? What is it that you don't see inside of your life right now that maybe someone else could? This is the hard part when it comes to self made you think that you have the answers. You and I both well know. If you stop and sit down for a fucking minute, you realize that the more you know know, the more you don't know and the more that there is to learn. What an incredible thing like what you talk about. People who talk about being bored or boredom or people who whinge or gossip. Gas bag bitch. You are sad with your time that you're spending. You're sad and unfulfilled, man. What I have in the dreams and the goals of what we're setting here, I don't have the lifetime to achieve it. We're racing against the clock. We're always against the clock. So you will never have all the time that you need in the world to do all the things that you want to do in the world, let alone fuck around on things that aren't serving you. So if you're bored, bitching, whinging, you're stuck inside of your own headspace or you have the wrong people around you in the wrong environment, which means you will subconsciously take that on board. But then also you'll be acting the lone wolf and going it alone with poison and toxicity inside of your head and your heart. It limits your potential. When you're going it alone and you're acting all self made and isolated, independent, so to speak, it limits your potential. Second point is it creates complacency. How do you know how hard you're pushing or how smart you are in what you're pushing, how hard you're working your progress? How would you know without any comparative analysis or data there? And it's not against others per se, it's about someone else cracking open the actions, the runs on the board you've gotten or not gotten. How would you know? You get complacent. You think enough is enough, you just settle. Then when the shitstorm hits, welcome to life. Just like all the parents who have such a smooth run and all of a sudden hard shit happens when the child's 8, 11, 14 with drugs, something else. It doesn't mean you should go looking actively for adversity or looking for other people to sweat and have adversity with. But essentially, if you're not consistently improving yourself, which is built off the back of getting uncomfortable, taking steps into the unknown and having the right people call you on your shit, hold you accountable and prop you up as well. Not just to push you down, prop you up and go, hey, let's fucking get after this. This is the standard you're just going to settle and you'll be complacent. When you are complacent, life will catch up to you. Here's a saying that I love and it's something was a revelation that came to me the other day. Show me someone's life and I'll show you their standards. The end. You show me someone's life, I will show you their standards. Fucking dang. Just like that. Couldn't be more simple than that. Standards inside of their marriage. Standards inside of their physical health, their mental health, their emotional health. Standards inside of the environment. Standards of it. How they invest in their mental and emotional health. So that's your tribe and your environment. Standards inside of how they educate and build knowledge and awareness of important things. Not learning fucking arithmetic. And you're not learning about different formulas in high school. Actual life skills and things that will apply to your life as a husband, as a father, as a man, as a business owner, or someone in society who's adding value to the world. Standards. How can you create the highest set of standards if you don't have other people holding you to a high set of standards and setting the benchmark or the baseline. And then when you hit that, fantastic. That's your standard operating when you reach new heights. It's not that we don't celebrate. It's not that we're never satisfied. I think that's a bullshit term. How the fuck could you ever be happy if you're always grateful but unsatisfied? That is such a shit term. It is. It's so counterproductive. Be grateful, but not wasteful. Here we are. That's fantastic. Celebrate the rewards. Celebration is fantastic. What a milestone we've achieved. You know, it's phenomenal. So proud of myself. I'm proud of my family. I'm proud of the tribe or of others that have impacted me, influenced my life. Beautiful, man. Well done. Now what if you have more breath in your lungs? If your heart is still beating, you have more life to give. Don't just sit back on your hands when you're going it alone. The self made myth. You're limiting potential and you're creating complacency that you don't even know about. Again, opportunity costs. Third one. There's no accountability. So when I talk about complacency and being uplifted by the tribe or coaches or other people in your corner, you have zero accountability. Because how can you actually have accountability to yourself? What are you measuring? You're measuring yourself against yesterday, but who else is doing that? You can't have that. It's impossible to consistently hold. I am the same man. Cognitive bias. You have a cognitive bias towards yourself. Whether we call it choosing the path of least resistance or not, that's something we're big on. But it's about being smart and working hard to achieve that right? Not just beating your head against the wall when it's the path of least resistance. Going it alone, that's a dangerous path to walk because what you're doing is you're recycling your own level of accountability, which is only coming from the version of who you are and where you're at. You will only ever pursue what your belief systems allow. So if you don't have accountability to help you move your life forward, you will be stuck. And you will find that this sticking point creates complacency, limits your potential. And there is actually no one that you need to answer to. There's no one that you need to answer to. As crazy that sounds, I don't need to answer anyone. I'm my own man. I get that. But you absolutely do. And you should. There are a shitload of people I answer to, the 300 men on the inside with our tribe that I answer to. Look at the coaches that I answer to. My family, my wife, my children, societies, communities, how I hold and how I carry myself with respect, responsibility. There are many people that we can, will and should answer to, and we owe it to ourselves to answer those people. Because from there, we create a pathway that allows us the opportunity to rectify, or course, correct some of our challenges and issues, but to also know that, hey, I'm on the right track, I'm on the right page. I'm going well here. I can keep moving forward. That's just as important. There's no point being successful and effective and efficient in what you're doing if you're heading in the wrong direction. It makes no sense. Fourth point. It leaves you exposed. When you rack up those first three points. Limit potential, create complacency, no accountability. You are exposed. Why? Because sooner or later, inside of anyone's life, life happens. What do I mean by that? Shit hits the fan. And when shit hits the fan, if you're not adept or competent or you haven't built the skill sets, including your perspectives, to go upstream and look at prevention instead of trying to find the cure. Because maybe this wouldn't have happened if you had your shit together earlier down the line, what happens is you're exposed. And everything that you feel like you've worked so hard for all of a sudden comes crashing down or burning to the ground, or you just find yourself back in the pit and you're pushing uphill day after day after week after month after year. All of a sudden, the tiny little thing will happen. Bang. And you crack the shits. You become grumpy dad, you blow your stack, or whether it's your children, your wife or not, just inside of yourself, it's like, ah, the shoulders drop. It's. And this talk comes in and this negativity comes in and it starts to really cook you, man. Because again, where your belief systems were, which were limited in the first place, come even lower and lower and lower and you settle. And all of a sudden it becomes a case of you against the world. And it's the world's fault. It's everyone else's fault. That's point four. Like, you really are exposed. And what are you exposed to most? Not so much the traumatic experiences or the vulnerabilities that will become bad decisions, bad results. You know, losing out or bailing out or having a failure. It's not Even that what you're exposed to is a vulnerable belief system. If you don't build that steel, it's not being cold, some sort of worry, but build that steel and hardiness inside you by having consistent standards, accountability, and pushing and striving to be more, you will fuck yourself up, man. You will. Think about this with the tribe. Like, the amount of comments we get are phenomenal. They're so positive for people who aren't members. I know I talk about the haters, but we get a lot of positive feedback. Like it's, it's way more. It's 10 to 1. But the 1 have a look at that. If that one was reversed. Members on the inside, those criticism of shit, no one's getting results. They're all fucking flaking. They're all victims, people on the outside. If all of that was there, what confidence, courage or belief system would I have? Man, we wouldn't even be here. You wouldn't even be listening to this. When we're building winners on the inside, we have the pathway. It's tried, tested and proven. When the men are taking that step and claiming those victories and those victories are theirs, it's a fantastic return for me because I can see and go, yes, the path is true. And guess what? They made it fucking true for them. He made it true for him. He made it true for him. He made it true for him and he did the work and we moved the mountain together and we won and we are successful. It reinforces my belief system. Without that, I would have been exposed and there would have been challenges and there would have been some pretty tough times from which I would have been questioning what we're doing. Even though there's a part of me that knows it's right and it's the answer, there's also a part of me that would have gone, hey, man, this is, this is not, you know, this is not working. What's happening? What's going wrong? You know, it's. It's a tough place to be. It really is. And I've seen that so many times. And unfortunately, people who have either potential or talent, they haven't built themselves up enough or they haven't immersed themselves in the right environment. They get left exposed and the exposure challenges their belief systems. And as sooner or later they cave in and they fall down. The fifth point is it's a lie. It's a fucking lie. I said this earlier. No one comes walking, talking out of the womb, wiping their own ass. Doesn't make sense. Doesn't work. So where do you think somewhere in your life that's changed? It hasn't. Through the different stages and phases of your journey in your life, it changes, it adjusts to different people, different places, different things that you lean on, that you use as leverage that are part of a makeup of your ecosystem. It never ends. When you're 3 years of age, 10 years of age, 15, going through adolescence, teenage years, 25 years of age, 30, 40, 50. Fuck mate. It almost goes in reverse for most people that don't look after their health as they get older. 70, 80, 90. Self mate doesn't exist. It's a lie. So people who claim that are liars. They may think that they have a different term or a different definition or meaning than what I have. I'm open that you tell me what self made means. You've got the word self and you've got the word made. I mean, I'm not sure, like I'm a pretty logical man and I can tap into emotions, but that sounds pretty clear to me. You've made everything yourself self made. I don't even know where the term came from. Probably worth looking at, I guess and finding upstream where it actually started. It was probably some fucking big dick arrogance, ego thing. Doesn't make any sense. It's a lie. How many of you feel like you're living a lie, self made or not? You've attached or created a connection or emotional attachment to different words or terms from which you've created as an absolute, as a truth in your life, but really it's a lie. And then that's the lie that becomes your story. And that's a story that changes your state, your emotions. That's the story that changes your state, emotions and your relationships, how you interact with your wife. All of a sudden there's expectations, there's assumptions, there's breakdowns, you don't communicate. And all of this off the back of the lies. And no lie bigger than I'll just fucking do it myself. It's just me, it's me against the world. All this shit like you tell me where the positive comes from that once you put the walls up so much so that you don't get hurt emotionally, yeah, deep down inside, because I've been there as well. Deep down inside I know that you had the same feelings as me. Deep down inside you've got this bitterness, fuck the world, it's me against the world, blah, blah, but deep down it's like I just want to curl up into the fetal position, return back to the fucking womb. And feel loved and nurtured and appreciated. Like, is that not the irony of having the man and the woman inside of our life? We're out to hunt and kill and produce, but also not that they're our mother, but we seek that in our queen, a place to be appreciated, loved and have that affection, whether it's bedroom bound or not. That appreciation, that touch, that soft approach that says, hey, I fucking value you so much. Like, yes, thank you. How will you ever have that? If you claim to be self made, you won't. The difference between self made and personal success, the difference is the opposite. Personal success is taking ownership and responsibility of the actions that you can take to influence yourself and the world and your life and your family, your mother, your father, all those around you. You are a leader. And your parents might still be leaders if they're still here. Your children are leaders in their own right. In certain ways. My children lead and educate and teach me many things that I can't teach myself. It's not possible. Through the timeline of their mental abilities, where they're at, even their psyche like, their approach, their perspective on things. How can I think of that? I get children 5, 3 and 1. I'm obviously not that age anymore. The difference between self made and personal success. His personal success is someone who is proud of their achievements and the actions that they take inside of themselves. Their ownership of what they're doing, their approach, their perspective. Personal success is a reward or a positive result off the back of all of the things that the man takes ownership over and that he can control. You can control your triggers, your feelings, your, your emotions, your actions. You may not always control the results, but all types of actions, thoughts, feelings, emotions, belief systems, your perspective on things, like I said, where you position yourself, your physical placement in your environment, where you invest yourself in. So which environment guys are on the inside with the tribe, them taking that step to join the tribe, be part of a phenomenal group of winners. That is personal success for them. They made that choice. That choice is theirs to make and they should be very proud of that. So when we're looking at personal success, it really is something that is built off the back of everything you can control. That's a difference between that and self made. Why? Because everything that you can control still hinges around the variables of where you're expressing that, who it influences, your environment, people, customers, clients, the service that you provide, the products that you build or create, your relationships, extended family, immediate family, your children, your children's friends, your children's friends. That are bad, your children's friends that are good. Like everything that you do still hinges around A, how it's received and B, the influence that you can push from everything you do and see the ultimate outcome, the absolute outcome of the internal and external environment. Self made is the gluttonous approach and arrogance that you're actually controlling. Both of those. How foolish. Or the other one doesn't exist. That's just me. It's all me. It's all me. My customer comes and buys my products and services. I'm self made. How the fuck would you be self made if someone didn't give you the fucking money for the product or service? It's crazy, man. Think about this really deep dive into your life and think about this isn't about just some self made billionaire any that sort of stuff. This is thinking about on a deeper level. Where is this hitting you man? Where you're closing off, you're shutting off. You're turning your family down. You're turning away from them. You're not including them or involving them in your life. You're not being vulnerable and transparent with them. You're not giving yourself the opportunity to fail with and or for them by taking that shot and owning what you can control instead of focusing on the shit. But then being transparent enough so that they understand that my children will know many of my failures. I'll be very transparent. They feel like, they feel like I'm indestructible. That's their approach, that's their perspective. I'm a titan. I'm massive. I can throw them around. I'm very strong. I. But I play with them. They dress me up and put shit in my hair and I act like, you know, sometimes I do mums and dads and I'm a baby and they're giving me milk and feeding me and it's fucking hilarious. Daddy, you need to be the baby. Okay? That's when I put the panda hat on and I'm the panda of the house. That's fantastic. Like I really love seeing them express and seeing how they take ownership and how they take lead. I love it. It's awesome. This is what life is about. Claiming what's rightfully yours. All your personal success. That success is yours. You fucking own that man. You dominate that. You take that, but you cannot have that and then think or feel that. That doesn't influence others around you. That doesn't come off the back of what it is that you're involved with or in. How can you be an amazing father without Your children to receive this amazing father. How can you be an amazing husband without your wife to see, feel and receive this amazing husband? It goes hand in hand, man. That's why self made doesn't exist. Think about where you're shutting your family off and you're walking the line of the lone wolf. Regardless of joining HPF or not, you're the lone wolf inside of your life. And then maybe, yeah, I had some bad friends when I was younger, Al, and I just don't want to deal with. I get that. Find some new ones. Find a different network. Find someone who's going to help you raise your standard and raise the bar for you in a true and genuine fashion. Challenge you. But challenge you with love and leadership. You go, hey, you're better than that, man. Lift your game. Lift your game? Why? Because guess what? When you lift your game, you're going to win. Not lift your game so you can try and keep up with us. The does that even mean Lift your game so you can be a winner as well. It's very powerful. You can't walk through life being the lone wolf, just isolating yourself and you can't dig your way out of the pit. Doesn't work that way. How to maximize personal success. Top five points and we'll wrap this up. Invest in your environment. Your environment is everything, man. Like you cannot escape the fact that every single day of your life, every single breath you take, blinking of your eyes, beating of your heart, you are engaging with some sort of external environment. Just like me, right here and now, recording this just like you right there and then, whenever that then might be, or here and now. Because you're listening to this, listening to this in your environment. Invest in your environment. And that's not just money, time and energy. Money is a collective of time and energy and what you've provided, the value you've put out into the world. Time and energy you'll never get back. Invest in your environment with all of them. You need to invest with all of them. Because money gets you access. It's a tool. You use time and energy to accumulate this money so you can invest that money to have better time and energy in the future. Better connection, better relationships, better productivity, a better business, better service to the world, better health physically, mentally and emotionally. Like you're a fucking fool if you don't, right? It's crazy. Like you people don't even blink when they look at things like investing in university courses and other things. When's the last time you actually invested in yourself? You are the fucking racehorse. You are the winning, the championship racehorse. Why the fuck would you not give to yourself? Guess what? Here's a funny. Here's a funny thing. Here's a secret for you guys. The more money I pay, the more successful I am. The more money I invest in myself, the more successful I am. Investing over half a million dollars just in this year alone. And look at the journey. Go back to some of my old podcasts. It's not even about the money. It's the byproduct. You value yourself. You're valuing yourself to go, hey, this is important. This environment is important. This tribe is important. This coaching protocol or program. This is valuable to me so I can be more valuable to me and to others I love and care about. You do that, man. You crack through. You'll. You'll break through. You become the 1%. You become the top 1% of society. You really do. It's crazy. It really is how much people don't want a great life. They speak the words and the fluff and the bullshit, but it really is crazy how many people out there, the majority of people that actually don't want to live a great life. They don't. It's crazy, man. It's a bit fucking sad, to be honest. Getting goosebumps and shit. You know, I can wash myself of. I've heard some pretty heavy about over 10,000 conversations with fathers, and, you know, there's some pretty heavy shit that comes through. And I can still cleanse and wash myself and still be empathetic, but sleep at night and live my life. I'll tell you what, man, the path that you take when you want to be the greatest, you can. There's no way I'd take any other alternative. No way. No way. No. It's way harder. That's the craziest part. It's way harder, man. Living that kind of life, it's so much harder. It sounds crazy, doesn't it? Invest in your environment. Get accountable. You need to have someone to answer to. It's imperative. It really is. You know, I can't stress this enough. When you have someone you have to answer to, then you have an opportunity to go, hey, am I on track? What am I doing? What don't I see? What can I improve? What do I need to do? When you're accountable, you can actually start asking yourself quality questions. What's the answer, Al? The answers always come off the back of the questions we ask. The difference, though, is asking ourselves, ironically enough, a question. What type of questions am I asking who is asking me these questions ties in with point number one. Invest in your environment, get accountable. Point three, use one and two to build a game plan. This is where I'm at. Fantastic. Now, how do I move forward? You know, and the reason why I've probably said fantastic four times in this episode is because it is. It's a fucking great thing. 80% of getting yourself busting, breaking yourself out of the pit of life is actually awareness. 80% of moving in the right direction and charting your progress to move forward is built completely off being aware. Acknowledging and understanding sounds ridiculous, but it's true because most people aren't even aware. Get proper awareness of where you are, where you need to go. When you do that. You have a game plan that's. It's exactly what we do. Like, we focus on that. You can't not. It doesn't make sense not to invest in your environment, get accountable, and then use those first two to build your game plan. And then you can start hooking in, taking action. So what's point four? Track your game plan. I mean, that's a given, right? That's our fourth pillar, performance. Are we on track? Where are we going? Why? How's that turning out? Is this the greatest return on investment with these actions? No change, adjust, tweak, Micro, micro adjustments. Zoom right out. Where are we? What are we doing? How we're traveling? Zoom back in. This, this, this and this. Done. Change these two. Take this one away. Go track your game plan. Invest in your environment, get accountable. Build out your game plan off the back of those two. Not alone with someone else who has your best interest at heart that wants you to be a fucking winner. Because when you win, we all win. That's how we operate. That's how you should operate when you. When your family wins. It's a given. Are we on track for that? Will we be successful? Instead of blase statements like, oh, I can't see any reason why I should. No, no. How the fuck are you gonna get there? What does that look like? What are the key markers you need to hit? What are the actions to take? What are your targets for the week? Your most important things? Okay, what are the actions to reach that target? Are you on track to reach that target? Zoom back out. That's one week. What about four of those? Let's stack four of those together to build momentum. That's the month. Fantastic. Let's build three more. That's the quarter. Unreal. All of a sudden you look at 90 days, a quarter of your Life be like, man, there's so much to do. Al is so much work. So don't worry about that. The 90 days will look after itself, folks. On day one, then 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, then 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and just build, stack, build, stack, build and stack the wins together. And point five, reflect. So you're tracking your game plan and then you're reflecting. Reflect point one and two, not, not on the progress. You can, you can do that. In point 4, reflect points 1 and 2 to gauge the effectiveness of getting you from point A to point B. My environment and accountability, how well is that working out for me? Reflect on this. What has improved in my life? What's the feedback I've gotten from my wife, from my children, from the coaches, from the tribesmen, from friends, family, people haven't seen me for a while. Point five is always reflection, zooming right out and going, okay, how is the environment serving me moving forward? How am I serving the environment and immersing myself in? So we're all moving forward. Great accountability. How's that working out for me? Am I staying true to my word? Am I being accountable to myself to through accountability to others? That way I'm truthful, I'm honest and I'm real. No hiding here, man. You can't hide. Who would want to hide? It's cold, dark and lonely. You've got no eyes when you hide. Hiding is one of the worst things anyone could do. Be out, be open, be real, be transparent and own your truth. Live your truth and from there you can create a greater level of truths. I hope this serves you well. The self made myth. And for some of you men, a lot of you men, now coming on the inside, off the back of the podcast, it's so awesome, like to see you guys take that step. I must say, like, it's just, it's very inspirational. You know, talk about motivation. Like, motivation can come and go, but what's everlasting is the inspiration of seeing these men, so many men coming through and taking that step and taking ownership. Because when they say yes to that, they say no to all this bullshit about being self made or a lone wolf or walking alone, going the lonely path. All your battle scars, I'm a survivor. All the other shit that justifies the reasons for your substandard actions or for the average life or the reasons why you didn't do what you probably should have. Don't limit your potential. Don't get complacent, don't have zero accountability. Don't be exposed and don't live a lie. Those five points rise up. Build a phenomenal amount of personal success off the back of those in which you are surrounded by that. Encourage support and drive a higher level of excellence from you as well as they do from themselves. And when you have that, you don't lose. You never lose. You can't. When you come halfway and you come to the party and you're in a winning environment, that's incredible. That's one of the things I'm proud of most. The more I've got the right support and help and the more I've got the team that we keep building and growing and the coaches around me, and the more help that I have, ironically enough, the higher and greater my personal success is. Isn't that funny? The complete opposite of everyone else who thinks that it's self made and it's all you. You know, could be anyone, sports, anywhere. The overnight successes, so to speak. The more personal success that I have in my life, Alex Renieri, who is directly and immediately is impacted and built off the back of the amount of support and help and people have around me in my corner. It's amazing. Take care, man. Have an amazing day, night, weekday, weekend. Write some notes, do some reflection, challenge yourself, create some personal success. But the key point is how? Do it the right way. Don't cut corners, don't fuck around. Do it the right way and I promise you life. Start heading in the right direction. Cheers. And that's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this episode and got some golden nuggets with possibly one or two aha moments as well. If you truly loved and enjoyed what you listened to, then I want to invite you to share this episode with someone who you know needs to hear this. It could be your brother, friends, colleagues, your uncle, even your wife. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that none of us are alone in the hardships we face. But the solution to getting back on top, winning can start with a gift from someone else. And that gift could be an episode like this because another man transformed, is another family saved? Which is exactly what we're all thriving and winning in life. There is no alternative. It's possible. It has been done. It can be done, so it should be done. I appreciate your support in spreading this message. Cheers, mate.