210. How To Create Better Outcomes

This episode is brought to you by our high performance father coaching program where we help men juggle business, marriage and fatherhood to create the greatest balance and impact life has to offer. This is done with our philosophy that is at the core of achieving these phenomenal results in family, self and service and that is investing in yourself first so you can be a true 100% for yourself, but just as importantly for those around you that you love and care about. If you're a father struggling with choosing between your work work and your family, lacking balance and connection in your relationship, what your children need, your own needs whilst building prosperity in your business, head over to highperformancefather.com fill out the form and I'll have my coaches contact you to see how we can help you and if you're a good fit, what it looks like to join the winner's circle on the inside. But for now, take the time to yourself for yourself and enjoy this episode. How to Create Better Outcomes welcome to an episode where we're talking about the end game. We're talking about the outcomes that you desire, but ultimately what's more important is the process, the pathway to get there. This is a really interesting episode because what we are fixated on a lot of the times are outcomes. Now the outcomes that we fixate ourselves onto, sometimes a fantasy and there becomes this fantasy land through fear or through desire of things that A aren't achievable, b aren't potentially going to happen, C aren't even real, and D, take away our focus on what's more important, what's most important, what is actually attainable and achievable and the actions that need to be taken to get there. So the irony of this episode and this process is the answer lies in the actions. It lies in the steps how to create better outcomes. What's the outcome? It's past tense, so to speak. The fact has happened whether you've done it or you haven't. You did do it or you didn't do it. So outcomes, facts, truth, leadership, all this stuff, it's all past tense. It's already happened. You either had that or you didn't have it. You, you performed that way or you didn't perform that way. You lived and breathed that or you lived and breathed something else. So when we're talking about creating, when we're talking about creating better outcomes or actually talking about here is the better outcomes being a byproduct, you are creating them as a byproduct. You are creating them off the back of what you do. And it's a four part process. We're going to run through this. It's a phenomenal resource that I've got and I've got available. I'll have it available for the general pop soon. So for those of you who aren't members listening to this, keep an eye out. Join our free Facebook group, High Performance Father. Look that up on Facebook and we'll have it available to you guys soon. It's obviously available already for the inside the inner circle members and there's a four part process which we're going to be going into today. Now with this episode, I don't know how long this episode will be. I don't think it'll be an overly long episode, but I want this to be a very thought provoking episode. I want this to be an episode where maybe you can fast forward and rewind and go back to different things. So what we will do is we're definitely going to timestamp this, I'll timestamp this and give you at the end the amount of or the minutes or seconds you can go back to to go to each section as a father, as a husband, or in your relationships, your place of work or business. So family, self and service, these circles and as a man, integrity as a man, with your level of integrity, personal integrity and the choices that you'll make. Because what we owe ourselves is a level of time out from the world, creating space or thinking time and time to just think and have these thoughts and process and ask these questions, ask better questions, ask higher quality questions. And that's the very first step. So whilst we're going to go through this first, we're actually going to finish with questions. That way you guys can have a look and go, okay, well this is going to work for me. This isn't going to work for me. This question is really good. This question doesn't apply. This question I think is really good and you can actually just start to separate and split off. And like I said, the resource is available. It's amazing. It's printable. Print it off. Got it. There, it's set. Got your set of questions. Fantastic. Done. Doesn't mean they're the only questions, but as you guys will find out shortly, through the questions we find the answers we need, but not just an answer or a statement. We actually find the solution, we actually find the actions and we find the steps necessary to solve or to bring about a resolution to whatever it is that the question's causing you. Good, fantastic. The resolution is maintain that. Keep going bad. Okay, we get it. Welcome to the world. Right? Let's do something about it. So there's always a resolution at hand when the quality question is asked. That's the first one. So we're going to go through these four and then from here what we're going to do is break them down. We'll finish with the questions, but that is the first step. But we will finish with the questions for you guys that way, timestamp or not, you know, towards the back end of this episode, you can fast forward at any time after the intro, of course, and then find the part that applies to you and we'll break them down bit by bit. Each will probably go for maybe five to 10 minutes. Fatherhood, relationships, work or business. And as a man, it's a four part process to create better outcomes. It starts with asking questions, asking yourself a series of higher quality questions to navigate through where you are. Navigate. That's right. When you're navigating and creating positive change. It's never great with the G R E A T to navigate through where you are, where you're going, and solutions to where you can go. This is the biggest thing, man. Even if your life isn't in turmoil, down and out in the pit, the opportunity cost of what you can do. We're looking for high performance fathers. We're looking for men who, yes, they want to break out of some of the molds or patterns they've found themselves in. But also, man, you know what? Life isn't that bad. But I want to stretch and maximize my experiences in life. I want to stretch and maximize my output, my contribution, how I turn up, what I do, how I perform. All of this is so valuable to me, Al. It's valuable to my children, to my relationships, to the service I provide in the world, my business, how I help create solutions and solve problems for customers, for people I love and care about. That's what we're looking for. It all starts with questions. But from questions there must be a second point which goes into responsibility. Taking ownership. You must take ownership, man. Like for a lot of things that have led to what's happened to you in your life, it's not your fault. But you can't just sit on your hands and continually accept that because that's exactly where your life will continually spiral downwards. It's your responsibility, right here, right now, from this day forward to take ownership. For sure, a lot of things aren't your fault, man. This isn't about fault, blame or judgment. But it's about responsibility. After we ask ourselves a key set of quality questions, we must, we owe it to ourselves. You want control, you want power, you want to immediately go for the kill. When it comes to reinvigorating your life, re empowering yourself, responsibility taking ownership with various perspectives and answers that come from the questions being asked. To begin this proactive nature of moving forward, you must be proactive with life. Because the default of nature, whilst it carries life, it also carries death. You're living or dying, getting better or worse. There is no staying the same. There never will be. So when we're asking questions where they're moving into responsibility, we're then asking ourselves, what are the decisions I need to make? And then we're carrying a level of courage. Through that greater understanding and a renewed power of possibilities, decisions can be made. When you've got a higher level of responsibility, you have a renewed power of possibility. When you have a renewed level of power and possibility that comes from you being responsible. Man. Okay, cool. If it is to be, it's up to me. That doesn't mean being the lone wolf. It means you take control of your actions, what you can do, your perspectives in action. Your thoughts are in action, your feelings are in action. Okay, you may not control them when you're triggered or they're reactive, but you can control what you do with them, what you do from there from that point on and how you enhance your life and encourage. It's the final piece to any person's success, new or sustained. A continual act of courage will ensure that you are committed and you do follow through with action. So that's our episode. Take care and I'll see you next week. Enjoy, gents. Hope you got a lot out of this. Let's crack on into it, man. So like I said, the very first one is questions. But we're going to come back to that last. But I just want to share with you a just shorter. Actually I'll share with you a short written piece here that's part of this document. When it comes to questions, then we're going to move on and we're going to actually start with responsibility and then decisions and then courage. And then we're actually going to finish with some downtime, slow the tempo a little bit and we'll dive deep, deep, man. This is going to be a very powerful session for you. We'll dive deep into some questions. Just on that note, questions, asking questions are a critical part of life. The downfall for many is they either ask no questions or are stuck Asking lower quality questions with a limited perspective. The higher the quality question, the more the answer begins a process and discovery of a solution with tangible actions to be successful. This is what it's about. Where can I keep driving my life? For higher value, higher purpose, with tangible actions to be successful. I've got a series of questions here and how to use them. Look, you'll choose a couple at a time. One to three in one section. Don't ask questions of family, self and service. Sit on one. Family, relationships, fatherhood, self, you, man, integrity, service, your business, going for a walk, journaling, writing down, just thinking, thinking time, creating space that will help you find your answers. But let's crack on into responsibility first. And I've said this before, I'll say it again. Peter Parker's Uncle Ben, he had it all backwards. And when he said with great power comes great responsibility. No, no, that's wrong. Unfortunately, Uncle Ben, how do you wield and get the power in the first place? With the reality of life itself, true power, properly. The reality of life itself is that with great responsibility comes great power. The moment you take ownership over everything that's happening in your life is the second you begin to get your power back, man. This is called responsibility over your life and also your destiny. So key points to consider and we're going to go through this document here. You're asking high quality questions. Now think of where you can take ownership and responsibility in the answers to those questions. Ask yourself where you can take responsibility over what has led to where you are in life. The good, the bad and the ugly. You need to explore how you can take responsibility over the answers to the questions that you're going to ask. And we'll ask together shortly to begin moving forward with power. Right away you need to understand that life is a big game. This is a tournament. You must win. You must win, man. Like this means you need to be competitive and willing to compete for what is yours. Yes, think of it like tennis tournament. Tennis is a great one because it's not over till the final points won't. So if you're losing, you can always come back until that final point is won. When you're winning, you can always lose and fall away until that final point is won. This is a tournament. So yes, in between serves, downtime, drinks break, looking up the crowd, laughing, smiling, little bits of playing, little bits of gaming around with fans, friends, even the judge, doesn't matter, the referee. So essentially you are here to compete. You must be competitive, you must have a high. I don't know what the ratio is. Being competitive is laid into every aspect of my life. But it's also a switch I can flick on and off at will. But it must be a very high ratio or high percentage inside of your life being competitive, man. Because when you're competitive, that word in itself, it splits off, it splays out into drive, hunger, determination, goals like who is ever competitive with no purpose? I don't know, maybe they are people, maybe there aren't. But it doesn't make sense to me. You're competitive towards wanting to achieve a desired outcome that's just out of reach. It's right in front of you or it's further away from you. Competitive being a man with a competitive nature and treating this, trading life not against other people per se, other people are all parts and makeup of your life and your experience and reality. Competition, man, winning, winning the tournament, the game of life. Your life is short lived. If you're 41 years of age, you've got 150,000 hours awake and that's it, you're dead. Think about that. 41, 150,000 hours awake and that's it. 150,000. That's it. Assuming statistically you'll live to be 82. This is a hard thing to say, but, and you know includes myself, but there are plenty of you men out there listening to this who won't make 82 years of age. Think about that. How do you know you're going to make 82 and beyond? What's your guarantee? You can guarantee that I don't care how fit or healthy you are. There are men listening to this right now who will not live to be 82 years of age. That's pretty scary, man. You're 41 years of age. If you use half the time you've already used half the time, you're 62 half the time. Here you are, 41. Use half the time that you've already used up, only half, you're 62. Don't think so small though with the reality of how finite life is that you're only here to express statistically 82 years of life. Find a way to stretch your impact, man. Over 500 years. I want a 500 years, 500 year legacy. You know, at that stage, this is an ego, Eric. It's got nothing to do. You're not even here anymore. It's got nothing to do with you leadership, your actions. 500 year legacy. Think about that. This is why responsibility is so powerful, so important. Taking responsibility is truly the bridge between the questions you ask and the decisions you make, that's what it is. Questions are something that anyone can read or ask. But the process of having responsibility over the answers and your life, that's what starts the process of change. That's what starts the process of making better decisions and bringing out that courage, bringing that courage out that's inside you because you all have that. And we'll get to that in a second. But in wrapping up this piece, responsibility, what a powerful thing. What a powerful thing. And perspective is everything. Three key points to consider before we move on to the next one. Decisions. One. One, Check your history. No one, none of you guys listening to this right now anyway, have gone through your entire life and done nothing of a good or great achievement or level of value. Check your history. You've done something. You have. Don't think you haven't, you have. Becoming a father, I mean, shit, man, you could rack up at least 10 to 20. Just be resourceful, be creative, open up your perspective, set your state, go for a walk, create some space and think about that. Great things, you have done great things in the past, which means you can do great things again. First point, second point, we're all going to be dead soon. You don't have time to fuck around. So whilst we talk about 500 year legacy and blah blah, blah around extending and spreading out, ripple effect and you know, dropping the stone in the pond and here we go, we have a massive reach to family, loved ones, future generations, people never even. That's all well and true, that's done off the back of the concentrated dose and effect that you have with the limited time that you have here. Not the years in your life, it's the life in your years. One, recognize the great things you've done, which means you have done great things. You can do great things here and now, moving forward and in the future. Two, you don't have time. None of us have time to fuck around. None of us. Three, One thing you do have though, is time. Right now. You are here and now. You have power. You have power right now to apply towards your life and those that you love and care about. You don't have the time you think you have and that's always ticking away, but you've got it right here and now and you've got it to create greater things and do great things that you have done in the past before. Three key points when it comes to responsibility, which means, man, it is your responsibility to have responsibility in your life. You can't. Like, this is a Non negotiable, try and dismiss it. It will catch up with you, it will come and find you. Don't worry about that. Whether you choose to accept it or not, it will find you and it will get you. Be proactive in that. Be a leader when it comes to responsibility. Because then what that starts to open the doors to is the choices you can make. The choices on offer, the opportunities and the possibilities that come from that. Which leads to not only the decision making process, but a better decision making process with more decisions that could be made in the process. You've got choices, you've got more options. Which takes us into decisions, which essentially is number three in the four part process. But like I said, we're starting with responsibility, decisions, courage, and then we'll come back to questions and we're going to finish with some pretty solid hard hitting questions for all of you. Life is filled with making decisions every single day. We make many decisions without even recognizing the power it has and the flow and effect from the decisions that we make. With questions and responsibility. We can now navigate life like a compass by understanding the impact of decisions and where they take us. This is a super important thing to understand. People might say you just got to work hard, do the work. Work harder, not smarter. And rip in and do what? Work where? How? What does that look like for you? What does that look like for me? What do you mean work? Well, there's places where you work and places where you don't. There's always work regardless of what you do. Everything in life involves work. You have to do the work regardless of what you choose and decide. So put respect and effort into what it is that you decide. Because if you decide something that's wrong, you're going to do work anyway, now or later down the track when you're paying for it. If you choose what's right, you're going to do work anyway. Now or later. When you have to sacrifice to make that solidified inside of you. Your habits, your identity, who you are, your relationship, your marriage, fatherhood to your children, your business. There's always work. The right decisions involve heaps of work. The wrong decisions involve heaps of work. Doesn't matter. Along a chronological timeline of when that'll happen and hit you. It will hit you. It will happen. This is the beautiful part though. When it comes to free will, choice, you can choose and you don't even have to justify it. I'm not asking you to justify yourself to me right now. Why are you doing this? Because I want to. Great Good for you. Do whatever you want to do. Are you happy? Is it bringing happiness? Is happiness the end game? Maybe, maybe not. Are you fulfilled? Are you rewarded? Are you proud of the way that your children look at you? You know, these are. Well, these are some pretty quick questions. We'll dive into some deeper questions later. I don't want to jump the gun, but it's important. It's important to recognize that you're always deciding. Guess what? Because you're a father, because you have a level of responsibility, naturally, right? When I say responsibility, you've got it already. It's just bringing it to the surface to put a greater weighting and a greater opportunity off the back of being a phenomenally responsible man. The decisions you make are branching off and actually already making decisions for your children. You're already deciding a portion of their future. It might be all of their future. It might only be a part of it. They may break away. Thank you for telling me what not to do. I mean, that's probably not a very wholesome relationship you like to keep, is it? As they get older, can happen, does happen, or the opposite. You're making decisions from which your children will piggyback off the seed you have planted inside of them to make decisions. Here are some key points to consider when it comes to making decisions and how powerful and important it is. Everything in life involves work. Like I've said, you have to do the work regardless, so make sure you're putting respect and effort into it. Chopping and changing on a whim is like ripping the seed out of the garden bed frequently without giving it time and nurturing to grow. Imagine you've got like 10 to 15 garden beds. They've all got different types of soil. You plant the seed. Oh, nothing happens in a day. You rip it out, you plant it somewhere else. You rip it out, you plant it. You gotta stop fucking around, man, with all these little fluffy decisions that don't mean anything. Get into some deep work. Doesn't mean it's always hot and heavy, but get into some deep work first on the foundation and building the base of the most important decisions inside of your life and getting alignment with that instead of inside of your marriage, your household, fatherhood with your children, yourself as a man and your business and place of work. We are indoctrinated to a large degree into a monetary system. That's the way that this planet is currently operating. Go off and be a hippie and get off the grid door sort of shit. I fucking love that. That's great. Don't worry, I'll meet you there one day. Not quite there yet, but even at that stage, you are always dependent on something. You're not living on this planet alone. Depending on the elements, water, air, food. So make sure you recognize that you must look at this as a system for life. What am I doing to create a level of freedom? Financial freedom or not freedom, financial prosperity will create that. It will give you an opportunity for that. Being smart in your approach there, strategic, calculated within your. Within your boundaries, your parameters, your circumstances. But then also, what are you doing this for? What are you connected to your family? What's driving this? Yourself. Who you are, your identity. You can't just keep chopping and changing and ripping the seed out, out and out and out again and thinking it'll grow. You got to nurture it, you got to fertilize. You got to give it time. You've got to water it. You've got to position it in the right garden bed to start with. Does this garden bed get sun? Unreal. Am I going to water it? Cool. When? How often? What does that look like? Am I going to fertilize it? Yes, when it needs to. Am I going to be patient if nothing's coming up? Yeah, just give it a few more days. Let it sprout. Let it. Let us sprout. Am I going to stand guard? Is it a fruit tree? Where are these birds? Where are the fuck, man? I got two fig trees. Opossums. Tear it to shit. So this year I'll be. Thought I had guard dogs. I'll be setting it up properly. And they get them. They get them every now and then, but they're cunning little creatures. Don't pass off the choices you make as insignificant. No matter how big or small they seem, they are significant. They are creating a chain of events, a chain reaction to your life. Consciously or subconsciously, they all contribute. This is why decisions are so important. How do we make right decisions, though? Well, having the right people will help. Having the right people around you to help ask questions of yourself will help you come to the right decisions instead of what a potentially limited perspective unveils as options. So what I mean by that is, well, you've got limited perspective because you're working. I've got a limited perspective. As great as my range is, and the skill set that I've acquired over many years now is I've still got a limited perspective. It's still Al in the range that Al has. Have the right people around you. Otherwise, you know. Yeah, blinkers could Be good for a horse when you want it to go A to B. But are you a horse carrying a cart of people, cracking the whip and just going in one direction? A direction that's been determined already for you? I doubt it. Right people, right decisions. It opens up your perspective. It opens up your choices. It opens up your options. Think about this every. And I know we'll get to questions, but I like questions early. Every decision you've made, every pathway you've been on in your life, your career, your family, your relationship, whatnot. Key thing I want to ask you. Would you have still taken that path if you had different choices, different options? Would you have still taken that path if you had more options? Would you have still taken that path if you had better options? Maybe that's not a question when it comes to marriage, and that's a hard one to answer as well, but better options. Okay, well, what do better options look like? What's an example of that? It could be with your work. You've just settled with your business. You stayed in it because it's familiar. If you had a set of better options and choices, if you had a set of better perspectives and people around you to give you better options and choices, would you be where you are right now? Would you be in a slightly different position? Would you be smarter? Would you be weaker? Less intelligent? Would you be gung ho or in control? Making better decisions in life will propel you forward. It will propel the work that you do, and it will propel the results in a compounding way. Like I said, you got to do the work anyway. Do the work that you love. Live and breathe even the boring things, even the shit. Because you love it. You live it and breathe it. Because it's moving you towards your destination. Because it is the right choice for you. Where we end up in life is not from the work we do, but the decisions we make. There is always a choice. Let's do that one again. Where we end up in life is not from the work that we do. It's the decisions we make. There's always a choice, always an option and something for you to decide. It is the decisions, the decisions that make or break you. It is the decisions you make as well. On a positive note, this isn't always doom and gloom. This works both ways. Depends on where you're at. But it's the decisions that you make that actually breaks down your limiting beliefs. That's what this is about. Like when we're talking about, maybe that's the title of this as well. Maybe it is. I look at this, I'm like, okay, how to create better outcomes. Well, I'll tell you what, the fundamental flaw, I call it a flaw because it doesn't have to be. I'm not here to judge, but I'm certainly going to judge the outwards actions of people, their actions. It's not the people, it's the actions. The fundamental flaw across the world is a lack of self belief. Limiting belief. So how are you going to change that? How can you change that on your own? That's why we have the tribe, that's why we have these podcasts. How do you think? Like you using. I'll have you consider using the exact same mindset to navigate yourself throughout the adversities, trauma and hardships you're facing from the exact same mindset that's put you in that position in the first place. Pretty crazy, right? It's the decisions that you make that will break down your limiting beliefs. When we start breaking down these self limiting beliefs, we start moving forward with the right questions, people and level of accountability, you can actually start steering your life one decision at a time and then through those decisions move into a completely different direction and reach new heights. Never thought possible. Never thought possible. When I started hpf, I didn't think to myself, I'm going to make this 150 year legacy that's going to go to multiple countries and outlive. I didn't think about that at all now why wouldn't I? Even if that doesn't become true, with that level of tenacity and energy and effort over the next, as long as I hopefully live to be at least 82, 40 years, at least I'll go close because of my effort and application, you will reach new heights. Never thought possible. That's what I love about the tribe. I see men for who they can become. Doesn't mean they're not enough right now, but I see them for who they can become before they do. That's so fucking cool, man. I love that. And then when it lines up. I can see what you mean now, Al. I can see what you were talking about earlier. Yes. Yes. Welcome to the new you that I saw six months ago. We knew he was there. You just had to find him. You just had to bring him out. And it all starts with one simple, sometimes, sometimes hard decision. This is why it goes into the next point. Because you can choose. Here's the thing. People might think courage comes first. Courage is laid into your life. We all have it. Just having a One off of courage is not going to do anything for you as well. And having the biggest level of courage in one moment is not going to do it for you either. There's layers and levels to it, of course, but this is why courage comes last when we go through this process, because you can decide, okay, that's it, Al. Today's the day. I'm gonna make a change. Yeah. Well done. Good stuff. Okay, so here we are. It's tomorrow. Where are you? What are you. Are you flaked already? You flaked on yourself again. It's. You guys wouldn't believe. Like, the process to. The process to book in with one of our coaches, just have a breakthrough session. It's not that we make it really hard, but, yeah, you got to show you committed. But you guys have no idea, like, how successful we are with our advertising and marketing. We reach. We have big reach. We reach all the fathers. And the amount of guys that reach out and then flake on themselves. It's fucking rough, man. I feel for him. It must be tough. It must. Because they're right there. They're right at the finish line. They fucking trip over their own feet. They're right at their last hurdle. Should be right. Don't. Don't need coach to tell me how to jump. I'll just fucking plow through it. They fall over so close. The reality is, gentlemen, most people don't want to live a great life. I've said that before, and that's really fucking hard because there's people I love and care about who are of, unfortunately, the same. The same opinion. Sorry, maybe not the same opinion, but the same output to the reality. It's not even an opinion because that's just pure observation over the years. Observation of facts, of people's actions lining up in a completely different way to the words they speak. Oh, no, no. I want a great life, Val. Do you? Fucking show me. What have you done? I did this, this, and that. What? You tried three things. You tried for one year. Are you a toddler? Are you only living for a year? You know, you're not living for 82. You think that's what life is? Life should just where did this and they wouldn't even know. This is the hard part. You don't even know. Where did this sense of entitlement come from? Well, you thought you had to work hard for three years, so now the next 79 are hunky dory. It's crazy. Crazy, man. And I'm not saying people are crazy. What I'm saying is. And it's. Yes, it's hypocrisy, but also it's. It's the distorted reality. It's the lack of alignment, what you speak and what you do. You need courage. You can make a decision, we all can. But are you going to back that up? Are you going to make that decision truth? Are you going to make that decision consistent? Are you going to do what you said you would do and follow through to make it a true and real reality or just a reality in your head because you chose on a whim? December 31st, here we go. 94% fail in the first eight weeks. Crazy. Sorry. 92% in the first four weeks, that's crazy. How many of the 8% fail in the next four weeks? Well, it's probably a similar thread, right? 92 of the 8%. So here you go. Here you go. You got 92% are gone. Then you've got 92% of the 8% that are gone. It's not even much. How's the year panning out? Courage. Courage is king. Courage isn't knowing what the right thing to do is. Lots of us know what the right thing to do is. Nor is it saying, sharing, or acknowledging your own flaws, faults and mistakes to others. I knew I should have done that. Yet now it's my fault. Yep. I take full ownership over that. You know, I've had a friend in the past, an old friend of mine who used to say that all the time, and he would just, you know, he keep dropping the ball in his life, but he. But he'd sort of keep owning it. And I was just confused. I'm like, okay, well, hang on a minute. You. You keep highlighting, acknowledging you're aware you're a smart, intelligent man. You keep highlighting and acknowledging where you're fucking up. And you keep owning it and talking about it, but you're not doing anything. You're not doing anything to change it. Do you like that? Do you like putting shit on yourself? Do you like putting yourself down? Like, if that's you listening to this man, you got to stop that. That's insane. Like, that is just. That helps no one. That's worse than being ignorant. You know what you need to do? What's stopping you? Is it courage really? Or is it familiarity? Or is it a comfort? You can sit back on your hands going, yeah, you know, I enjoy pushing myself. I enjoy ramming my face into the ground and just having a face full of mud and shit everywhere and then slowly rolling over, standing up, doing it. Again. And then just slowly rolling down into this pit. Yeah, I enjoy doing that to myself. Come on, man. And I'm not here to act shit on you. I'm here to invigorate you. I'm here to be your pat and interrupt. Al is here to help you guys go. Yeah. What the fuck, man? That's. He's right, actually. I don't do it all the time or I resonate with this point, or. No, he was right there. He's speaking right through to me in this area. Why the fuck am I doing that? Why do I keep doing that? Why do I allow that to happen? So food for thought. When it comes to courage, it's not the big hitter. It's not the big heroic action, right? It's not the big man, the hero and the man who's just going to light it all up and look how strong and brave he is. So remember, courage isn't the. It's not the big one. And I want you to think about this inside of your own life. Sometimes the courage that you need right now is to have the courage to actually just be kind to yourself. I know a lot of the stuff I say is confronting. This is not. I don't know who you are. This isn't personally. Well, a lot of our members on the inside, I know that. But I may not know who you are. This has got nothing to do with Alex versus you. On a personal approach, it's confronting because this is what a lot of men need. But here's the kicker. It's only confronting if you choose it to be. And if it's confronting from your perspective in what I'm speaking to you, then that means there's something that you need to look inside yourself and address the reasons why you're finding it. So confronting and the truth behind the layers of the stories that might shore up a defence mechanism. To say this is confronting and then there are other guys will be like, man, that's the fucking kick up the ass I needed. Thanks, Al. Put me in my place, man. I need to put my. Put my act together, get my shit together, put my head in and start fucking leading the family. I'm like, yeah. Yes. Amen. Came on, let's go. So this isn't about me trying to have confrontational energy towards you or bring out triggered walls or other things that just shut you down. You need to be kind to yourself. I want you men out there listening to this. I want you to have a level of self respect, self love, self worth. And it's an interesting one too, because when we talk about respect. Oh, yeah, no, no, I respect myself. Okay, cool. Can you please list specifically all the different ways in which you have self respect? The same with marriages. My wife respects me. Okay, cool. How? Show me how does she actually respect you? List all the ways my children respect. A lot of men lack self respect or not the level. They've got a little bit of self respect. You should have lots. You're the fucking prize, man. You are the king. You've taken the crown off for a while, maybe through your actions. Still got it. It's a bit dusty. Few cobwebs. Let's earn the right. Let's earn the right to play again. Sometimes the greatest acts of courage is actually being kind to yourself. Forgiving yourself, Forgiving yourself for the past, forgiving yourself for the mistakes, the hardships, the troubles, the wrong decisions you made, the lack of courage you had in the past. Takes courage to acknowledge that. Takes courage to look back and go, you know what? I wasn't responsible. I wasn't doing the right. This is what I want to do. This is what I need to do. Having that level of. Of acknowledgement for yourself, but then going, all right, time to ask some questions and take responsibility. So courage is not always the big play, the big macho man or the burning building and the men's pulling the cat out or the baby out. It actually starts with you having the courage to go, I want to live a great life. Because with that comes setbacks, comes failures, comes rejection. That's why people don't want to live a great life. They're more comfortable slowly dying or being dead but not buried for another 30 years than they are stretching, stretching out into the discomfort. I love that man. Like, it's the best. Anytime I find discomfort, I'm like, fantastic. I miss that feeling. People might call that anxiety, nerves, butterfly, whatever. I have the same, just like you. But I rewire its meaning. Ah, beautiful. That means it's important. And it means I'm going to dominate because I have to. There is no other choice. That's exactly what goes through my head. That's not confrontation, it's competition. Love it. Love it. Live and breathe it. Courage is a numbers game. You can't be courageous once. It is a continual expression over the course of your life. The more frequently that you are courageous, the more success you will have. And just on that note, like looking at my life now and anyone that I've been engaged or connected with, the number one difference between winners and losers is courage. Like There are so many other things, people. And they all contribute. People, environment, experiences, technology, opportunity, where the world's going, the dynamics of this situation, children, no children your age, health issues, limitations, they all contribute. But the number one thing, the key thing, the linchpin that destroys and creates more losers than winners, is a lack of courage. Whether you have courage or not, it hits the mark on several important factors for a successful life. Think about it this way. When you have a high level of courage, courage isn't knowing the right thing. Courage is following through on the right thing. So what does it become? It becomes the pathway to commitment, certainty, accountability, performance, better results, influence, leadership, fulfilment, reward, evolution. That's why it's, that's why it's such a powerful thing. I'm not here to cut corners, but let's get the low hanging fruit, man. Let's find the path of least resistance. You have a high level of courage. Bang. Those seven or eight things I just rattled off, that's the byproduct. That's what will happen, that's what must happen. Otherwise, your definition of courage and what you think you're doing is wrong. You showcase true courage. You've got to be committed. You will have certainty because the actions will show you how well you did or didn't do, what you need to do, what you need to change. Accountability. You got to answer to someone courageous, on your own, in the dark, doing what? Nothing. Accountability, performance, getting better results, how you can influence and lead other people, your own self. Journey, reward, contentment, fulfillment. Evolving as a man, evolving your bloodlines, your family, chain down the evolutionary path of. Well, we're going to keep committing, we're going to keep having courage and then we'll keep committing to a greater life. The opposite of courage quickly becomes. All right, we don't have any of that. Well, this is what you do. Have fear, uncertainty, doubt, worry, chronic hesitation. We all hesitate, we all have that, you know. Doesn't mean that everyone has to be a coward. We can all experience fear and being scared and hesitation. But chronic hesitation, failure without bouncing back. Okay, my back's against the wall. Push off. You got some momentum. Why? Because it becomes a must. It becomes more important, it becomes a non negotiable. Other than the time last week, last month, last year when you. We'll see how we go. No, no, no. You got to move now, man. Boats are burned. You have to take the island. The life important element of courage is binary in its effect. Like I said, you'll have this or you'll have the opposite. You'll either fall onto one side or the other. Put it this way, you told me how many people who live a life of chronic fear, uncertainty, doubt, worry, hesitation and failure? How many of those people are really committed? Maybe they're committed to that, maybe they're committed to failure. But how many of those people are living with great certainty through their own actions and what they can do? How many of those people have true accountability? How many of those people are performing, getting better results? How many of those people are leaders? How many of those people are fulfilled and rewarded? How many of those people are evolving? None. Courage is the greatest way to discover opportunities you might have thought could not exist whilst at the same time eliminate the opportunity cost. So what I mean is you'll discover opportunities you've never seen before, which at the same time takes away opportunity costs that you don't even know about. There are so many opportunities out there in the world, so many. But you're getting crippled because you don't know about them. Which means where's the drive? Where's the stimulus? Where's the determination? Where's the hunger? You don't know. You don't know what you don't know. So why push? Why drive? I don't even know. Like if I say hpf becoming 150 year literally could become global, could become even bigger, could become something that is our goal absolutely across my life and hopefully lives to come and generations to come. Absolutely completely rewire and change the structure of the family unit and society as a whole and the standards of operating and our standards. That's a, that's a, that's a big one man. I'm not talking about a little government project or social support groups that just spread to every, every continent. This is, that's big. It's very big. Your courage is the gateway to destroying your limiting beliefs. It really is. Even if the feelings, we get them, you're not here to be robotic. But even if the feelings and little voice linger around, courage silences them by moving forward and taking action to let results speak louder than self sabotaging emotions. It is the keystone to your life being enhanced for the greatest possible outcomes. It really is. This is a system for life. These four part process, the right questions provide more than just an answer or statement. They provide an opportunity and solution. On that note, what I'm going to do, I'm actually going to bring up this document and scroll up and we're going to go through these questions. Wrapping up gentlemen. So quick summary, four part process questions Responsibility, decisions, courage, asking deep and meaningful questions, taking responsibility over what you're asking because then there's more depth to the question and taking responsibility over the answers that come to the surface. Taking responsibility over the possibilities you can have over the actions you can take, and then making decisions, solidifying your responsibility by making a decision, and then backing up that decision by showcasing courage to follow through. Then, when the act is complete, guess what? We ask questions. Let's ask some more. So from a time standpoint of view, those who are listening to this this episode210, you can start at just under the 45 minute mark. 45 minute mark. If you include the intro, we're going to dive in and start with fatherhood questions. Again. You can take this in a positive way or a negative way. You can take this to highlight what you're doing really well or what needs work. Fatherhood. If your children had a nickname for you, what would it be? If your children had a nickname for you, what would it be? Super dad. Powerful dad. Grumpy dad. Tech Head dad. What would it be? Never Around Dad Not Present Dad. Alcoholic dad? Drugged out of his Mind Dad. If your children had a nickname for you, doesn't matter how old they are, fast forward them. Fast forward them to an adult and they've seen everything you've done, even behind closed doors. What would their nickname be of you? When we tap into the ones for manhood, this is. Yeah, it's really going to hit home. Fatherhood. Question 2. If your kids were asked what their greatest memory of you is, what would that be? If your kids were asked what their greatest memory of you is, what would it be? How do you know what your children need from you? How do you know what your children need from you? How do you know you've met your children's needs that they have from you? So how do you know that they've been met? What will you do to make sure you meet your children's needs? What will you do to make sure that your children's needs are defined and met consistently? How will you challenge your children to grow and be strong? That's an important one. Don't bubble wrap your kids. It's a fucking crazy, dangerous, dark, aggressive, life threatening world out there. Don't bubble wrap them with fear. Make them strong. Make them warriors. What's the greatest thing you love about fatherhood? And what is an example of that being expressed? What's the greatest thing you love about fatherhood? Alright, well, let's get tangible, let's get clear, let's get facts. Let's get opportunity. Okay, what's an example of that being expressed? What can you do with your children? Special time. Dad vengers. What does that look like? Moving on to relationships, what would you score your relationship out of 10? What's contributing to the numbers given? So, for example, if you scored at a seven, okay, what makes the seven? What are the great things that make it seven, six, four, eight. Okay, what might contribute to the numbers that are missing? If you rate it at 7, where's the 3? What's going on? Why is the 3 missing? Right. We shoot for the 10, you might never hit it, but we shoot for it. What might contribute to the numbers that are missing? What would your partner score your relationship out of 10 and why? What are the current ways you lead your life? With power that's attractive to her. What are the possible actions of gratitude you could apply to not take your relationship for granted. Actions of gratitude you could apply to not take your relationship for granted. You not a fucking pussy. You're not here to pussyfoot around, supplicate, chase, grovel. That's why that other question. Power. Attractive. Possible actions of gratitude. I love poems. I'm very good with them. I write poems, love letters, all sorts of things to my wife. I'm a very powerful man. I'm not submissive or supplicating. Show gratitude from a position of strength and personal integrity. You should have both. Become the Chief. It's a very good podcast episode. The Viking and the Panda. The Chief sits in the middle. More relationships questions. How often do you cross check what you deem as valuable with her perspective and what she deems is valuable? So you think doing the edging, mowing the lawn, landscaping, spending 12 hours on the weekend. Maybe she doesn't give a fuck about that. Maybe she just wants you to put your clothes in the washing basket or let her know when you need your shirt tying for work Instead of dumping 15 shirts onto her, or putting your beer bottles or your alcoholic drinks or whatever it is in the recycling bin, or not leaving your shit all over the place and just having mess that's unnecessary that she cleans up and chews up her mental bandwidth and physical energy or coming through the household and just asking instead of hey, how are you? Or grunting or groaning, hey, what a killer day I've had. But you know what? Here we are. What a blessing. I have my family around me. Talk to me, family. How was our day? How are we going? How's your day, wife? What was the greatest thing that happened to you today. Just exploring things that are different from the same monotonous stuff. You can be consistent. You can certainly have variety when it comes to consistently connecting what's valuable to you, what's valuable to her. Love languages. Right? Where are we having a good crossover? If you knew her love language, what ways can you explore her answers to have more specificity and connection in what her love languages mean to her? So when it comes down to acts of service, I did all the fucking edging. What are you talking about? I did all that sort of stuff for you. I didn't ask you to cut grass. I want you to stop leaving coffee granules all over the table, Alex. Seriously though, acts of service. Hey, Corinne, you've acts of service. I'm curious, what does that look like for you? Acts of service. So look happy to pick up the kids from daycare. I love cooking. I don't mind cleaning the kitchen. I do a very good job of it. I do a better job than you. You know, I always layer in a little bit of shit stirring when it comes to the wife. But what does that look like for you? Acts of service? Like, do you want. Look, I'll go get. I've got, I don't know, maybe 15 business shirts. So go get them all dry cleaned. I didn't even tell her about it. I just came home with it. Oh, thank you so much. Saves me having iron them. I'm like, yeah, needed to be done. I didn't expect you to do it. If you want to do it, you can. You're always walking this line where you sort of detach, but you're connected. You detach, but you're connected. If you want to iron them every now and then, Corinne, you can, you know, it's a good skill for you because you're horrible at ironing. Again, layering in, laying, layering in the playfulness. Being a smart ass, but not taking it too far. If you want to do it every now and then, you can. But you know what, we've been busy. Roman's been sick. He had his operation. Needs to be done. It costs, I don't know, five to eight bucks a shirt or whatever. That's nothing, man. That's not whether you guys are on a budget or not. Cross reference your budget with the shit you're spending money on that doesn't matter. Like shit food and alcohol with the energy and the opportunity cost. The opportunity cost. Right, the opportunity cost with your wife being completely exhausted because all these things that stack up. So let's look at this I don't wear 15 shirts a week. That's three weeks. So for 100 bucks for three weeks, $30 a week. And I don't even have to do that. That's three weeks. Assuming I wear that shirt every single day, all of those shirts. So really, it's more like six weeks. So for 15 bucks a week. So for $2 a day, we'll do a podcast on this. Don't worry, because a lot of guys, I get it. You're stuck in the chaos. You can't process or have this creative thought. For two bucks a day, I've saved my wife not even the time, but the mental stress that something has to be done for her husband for two bucks a day. Same with a cleaner. We get a cleaner once every one to two weeks. 50 bucks. Yours might be more, might be less. Doesn't matter. Okay, so for 25 bucks a week. So for $3.20 a day. So for $5.20 a day, we get someone to support cleaning the house. And when I need certain clothes done that I don't want to hassle Karim with, they get done for $5.30 a day. So make your own fucking coffee. Don't go buy your cappuccino for five bucks. And there you go. Done. This is the approach, gentlemen. Specificity and connection in what her love languages mean to her. What are the possible ways you can share your love languages with her in a way that is genuine, strong, and open? Be cautious of this. You can't just do it in a triggered environment. You can't just do it when you're yelling and screaming, oh, well, you don't speak my love language anyway. It won't get you anywhere. Possible ways. Share your love languages. Genuine, strong, open. You see the wording here? You're genuine. So you're vulnerable. You're transparent. You're open, but you're strong as well. What can you start doing right now to improve the position of your relationship, to take it to new heights? How will you know that you are doing what you said you would do when it comes to your commitments in your relationship? Look, it might not be data like banking, but I'll tell you what. Do you have a scoreboard? Do you have a way to track and measure how you're turning up? We do. That's what we do in hpf. Onto the next section. Hope this is serving you well, gentlemen. We'll wrap it up shortly. Don't want this episode to be too long. It has turned out to be quite a solid length of episode. But I hope you've gotten some great value out of it. Business and work. What is it that you love about the service you provide? Get clear on that. Get clear on the source, the deeper meaning behind what you're doing. If that's still there, what does that look like as an example? And why is that important to you? What is the reason you got into where you are in the first place? All those three tie together really well. That'd be great for some thinking. Time creating space. Is there scope to improve and build financial prosperity for yourself and family? Have you settled on this? Why? What are the limiting factors you have placed on yourself that could be creating an opportunity cost for you? So imagine that you did have insight into what an opportunity cost that there could be inside of your business or place of work. What are the limiting factors? Why is that in play? Why is that happening? Self limiting beliefs. Your family, commitments, time, energy. What are the limiting factors you have placed in yourself that could be creating an opportunity cost for you? What are some opportunity costs that you might not be aware of? So assume. Let's assume in a good way or let's pretend that you were aware of opportunity costs. So this is a different way of painting a vision. Take away your limitations. What do you want? What could you have? Imagine if you knew what specific opportunities were out there that you currently don't know about. Same thing again, what could that look like? Imagine if you knew what specific opportunities were out there that you currently don't know about. But imagine if you knew you knew about them, what could they look like? How would you position yourself or what actions would you take to realize those opportunities and make them real? You guys see, I hope this is clicking with you. You see the process? This is very powerful stuff. You spend some time on this half hour, 45 minutes on a couple of questions like that and you'll start leveling up. Imagine having the coaches in the tribe that accountability. So what you currently do tick the three important boxes, does it add value to the world? Are you highly skilled in that area and is it being monetized so you can live and look after your family? We live in a monetary planet. What could be your biggest limiting factor in this area right now and what can you do about it? Final one, we'll wrap this up, gents. Man and integrity. You guys are gonna love this one. All right, wet the beak. Here we go. If you had your own board of directors for your company called Life, what data would they see in your business of Life? These next few questions are all around you, having your very own board of directors following you everywhere. So when you're sitting on the fucking toilet twisting the ears off to it, they're standing around watching you. Somewhere between seven and 12 board members, what questions would they be asking of you? What would they say to you about your performance in family, self and service? If they followed you around 24 7, would you be proud of what they see? Would they be proud? What are the one to three areas you could improve that would change what they see? Who's looking back at you when you look in the mirror? What are the possibilities that man could have in Mirror Land that would transform him into a consistent high performer in life? You see that one there? That's an important question because what you're doing is remove yourself. It's like you're washing your hands. Wash your hands of your own limiting factors. It's the man in the mirror. It's Mirror Land. It's him. It's his life. Okay, what's it? Well, he actually. He looks like me. Yeah. Okay, don't worry about that. Pretend it's his life. What are the possibilities that that man could have in Mirror Land that would transform him into a consistent high performing life? Fantastic. Because guess what? That means. That's you. If you could wave a magic Wand, fast forward 12 months, what does your life look like in family, self and service? And why does that matter? If this magic wand, after rewinding back to the now, could find your self limiting beliefs, what would it find? What do those limiting beliefs look like and where did they come from? Is holding onto those beliefs moving your life forward or back? See, when you can find the source, gentlemen, you can cut the fucking head off the snake and start moving your life forward. Cut the head off the snake. You got to find the head. That's what I'm talking about here. Where did it come from? Why? Doesn't have to be a memory from 4 years of age when you're in childhood trauma? No, no, no. Just get clear enough around where you can take responsibility and cut that cancer out, man. If once upon discovery your magic wand could remove these self limiting beliefs, what could you do? What does this mean for you? What does this mean for your family? Start painting that vision, that picture, that future. What do you think the compounding effect of 1% per day crushing those limiting beliefs could equal inside of your life, your attitude, your nature and performance. That's a wrap. I hope this serves you well, gentlemen. They are. They are some heavy hitting questions, good and bad. Oh man, that's some great stuff, Al. I need to keep doing this. I need to maintain this. I need to stay on point with this. Oh, that's not good. I need to change this right away. I need to turn this around. Definitely go back, go back. Minute 45 onwards, timestamp and work through those and find them. We'll have resources available soon. Join our free group. I'm going to put it out to the tribe shortly, the outer tribe and then the inner tribe. They've already got access but it's a beautiful design layout, like the document here. I'm looking at it now. It's very well designed. We've got a phenomenal team when it comes to that stuff. So it's appealing, attractive, it flows, it'll be available shortly. But for now, listen through these, write them down and above everything else, application man, questions. Ask yourself. Just pick one to three. I went through a fair few. Then pick a section. Is it relationships? Is it fatherhood? Is it as a man? Is it business? Pick a section, four main ones. Ask one to three questions, work through that. Take responsibility. Start exploring, discovering the answers. Make a decision on what you're going to do about the answers in your life moving forward. Have the courage and the fucking balls to stand up and go, yes, I'm going to do that. I've got the guts, I will do it. There is no alternative, non negotiable. This is my life, my journey, my time. It's mine to be had. And when you do that, I promise you, man, you start getting on track. And when you get on track, it's harder to get off track. It's harder to get off track once you're on track. And when you do get off, it's familiar. I know how to get back on track. It's right here, it's there. It's like a good rut. These are the ruts, these are the grooves or these are the train lines. These are the big fucking sleepers. I can see where this is going. Get back on. So all of us fall off from time to time, but it's less frequently happening and it happens for a lesser period of time when you're high performing, with the right people around you, the right processes and what is truly, you know, a four part process on how to create better outcomes. But what is truly, gentlemen, a system for life. Take care, men. Fuck the other dads and I'll see you boys for another one soon. Cheers. And that's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this episode and got some golden nuggets with possibly one or two aha moments as well. If you truly loved and enjoyed what you listened to, then I want to invite you to share this episode with someone who you know needs to hear this. It could be your brother, friends, colleagues, your uncle, even your wife. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that none of us are alone in the hardships we face. But the solution to getting back on top. Winning can start with a gift from someone else. And that gift could be an episode like this because another man transformed is another family saved, which is exactly what we're all thriving and winning in life. There is no alternative. It's possible. It has been done. It can be done, so it should be done. I appreciate your support in spreading this message. Cheers.