216. 10 Life Lessons From Losing My Voice - Part 2

This episode is brought to you by our High Performance Father coaching program where we help men juggle business, marriage and fatherhood to create the greatest balance and impact life has to offer. This is done with our philosophy that is at the core of achieving these phenomenal results in family, self and service and that is investing in yourself first so you can be a true 100% for yourself, but just as importantly for those around you that you love and care about. If you're a father struggling with choosing between your work work and your family, lacking balance and connection in your relationship, what your children need, your own needs whilst building prosperity in your business, head over to highperformancefather.com fill out the form and I'll have my coaches contact you to see how we can help you and if you're a good fit, what it looks like to join the winner's circle on the inside. But for now, take the time to yourself for yourself and enjoy this episode. So let's crack open part two. Previous to this episode you're listening to now was obviously part one of the 10 life lessons from losing my voice for four months. Let's get stuck into part two of a 37 part series. So I hope you've blocked out your calendar. You've got nothing planned for the next three to six months. Here we go. All jokes aside, part two rounds off the second five of the 10 life lessons that I learned before we dive into part two. I just want to reiterate and go over. I'm sure a lot of you men have listened to part one. It makes sense whether you're first time listener of our High Performance Father podcast or not. If you are welcome, mate. Fucking great to have you here. This is going to change your life. It certainly has for so many men members and non members on our Inner Circle program. But essentially these five points are really important. One of the biggest, one of the biggest gifts we can have as men. I'll rephrase that. One of the greatest skills we can develop, which becomes a gift for us as men, is remembrance. Remembering the right things, remembering what it is that we need to do. Remembering the right thing to do. You can know the answer that means fuck all man, unless you do something with it. And you can do something with it once. But maybe that also means fuck all unless you do something with it many times. And there are very few things in this world, fellas, that are a set and forget once and done. Most things are built off the back of repetition and the singular one outcome. So it might be one and done from an outcome perspective. But in terms of the journey, the road map, the pathway, the way to get there, all of that really hinges around the performance and the pattern of performance. It's not. It's not just volume. I was going to say the amount of reps and the frequency. But that's one part. But it's prob. Probably the part that most might be lacking. But there are a few, right? The pattern of performance, systems, behavior, frequency, habits. So what we're looking at is, okay, you want to make sure you try and organize yourself so you're doing things in the right order. You can have the greatest action plan and the greatest action, but if it's done at the wrong time, like me training between 5 and 7pm at night, it's probably not the right time when it comes to the kids going crazy and bath and bedtime and story time and everything else, obviously dinner as well. So systems are important. The right order of things, your behavior. So your mental attitude or approach is important. Action and attitude together. So your attitude and your action will equal your altitude. So yes, lots of actions, but actions with a high attitude, a high mental approach, that's your behavior and then obviously the frequency. Too little can destroy you, too much can destroy you, depending on the thing. And then habit, which really becomes a part of your belief system. It's who you are. So remembering is important. It really is. Because the sweet spot for a lot of you men, out of those four I mentioned, is probably the frequency. Hey, if I just get up and I fucking do it, if I just start doing it, if I just do it a little bit more. And it probably is the linchpin, like a habit. Excuse me, that fourth one, it looks after itself. A habit is the byproduct of those three. Rinse and repeat, right? I'm doing things in the right order, which means I've got a high chance of success, a high success rate. And also that's going to influence the other two, right? It's going to influence my mental attitude and approach and how I look at it. Not that you're always determined determining your life by your feelings, but they do play a role. They influence all of us. I don't care how cold, stone faced your look is. You really need to know that even the hardest man in the world leverages his emotions and his feelings to some capacity. Even turning them off is leveraging those feelings and emotions. But for us, it's about not just being the Viking in life, being the chief that can really pull from the Viking and The panda. So yes, frequency is important, yes, your behavior is important. And yes, doing things in the right order is important. All those will equal your habits. But where the linchpin probably is, he's just getting out and doing it. So let's go through these first five quickly. Emotions now emotions later. In the previous episode, what I was talking about was really understanding the value of emotional anchors and recognizing them and knowing when to cut them, how to cut them and then your emotional hooks. What is important? Okay, I feel this way now, but what about a feeling if this happens or when that happens? Or what about a feeling down there and your future pace a better set of feelings so you can attach to them and go, well, they're the ones to hold on to. Fuck my feelings right now. Are they real? Are they really helping me? Probably not. In certain times when the self sabotage comes up, the judge and the victim. So if they're not okay, don't worry about the emotions now. You don't have to always worry about the emotions now. They are important, but not all the time in how you are right now. Just getting out and getting it done and getting it out, getting out and getting it done. Off the back of what can drive you emotionally in the future. Feelings that would be true should you be successful, follow through and complete. Second one was important to speech. We talk about listening and leading by example. Two of the most greatest forms of communication life, but also one that's right up there with them. He's not talking to be heard, but talking to understand and seeking that understanding. Seeking that acknowledgment. Sometimes acceptance, not always, but that acknowledgment and awareness that those who are communicating with you are being heard. I couldn't do that. Yeah. Nod yes, two blinks if you feel like you're being held hostage. But seriously, that's how it was, man. With my wife, with the children. Obviously ridiculously hard. They don't understand any of that. They understand the thumbs up and that's about it. And me nodding my head. So the importance of speech. Not just to be heard, but to seek understanding, to seek clarity and to really see acknowledgement for the other person who you're communicating with. Gratitude, little things. I can't stress this enough, man. I don't care how big your problems are in this world. The number one solution to every single fucking problem that is in this world today is always solvable. And the pathway and process to being in solving this, taken the smallest step. Always. Always the smallest step. Okay, my throat's fucked. What Do I do all right? Look for the little things. What can I do exactly the same when it comes to gratitude. Thank you, Lord for this unbelievable life. Like whoever you're praying or blessed or whatever it might be, religious or not, you are showing yourself you're part of the universe, man. You're showing the universe, you're showing yourself. You're showing yourself a higher level of appreciation really for yourself and your existence inside of your life. So gratitude and the little things and then obviously everything you connected to is really important. You don't need to go for the big home runs. I'm so blessed to have this, you know, $50 million home. I'm so blessed to have 12 cars or what the fuck does that even mean? Like it's, you know, they're all outcomes off the back of actions of a specific lifestyle or journey that someone may take. The real gratitude is really in the small things. Like, I've done a lot of talking lately and been pretty heavy with the talking, but really I'm just blessed to be able to talk and to be able to recover. Even if my throat feels a little bit scratchy. I'm recovering reasonably well and I'm grateful to be able to breathe through my nose again. You know, I had a chronic sinus drip. So when you're sleeping at night, for some bizarre reason, most doctors don't really know the answer. Having a sinus strip at nighttime can inflame or irritate your throat. Crazy. So gratitude on the little things, health and energy. Everything in life is important until you lose your health. Then nothing else is important, and certainly nothing else is more important, that's for sure. So really recognize your position. Whether you've got abs or not, you eat healthy or not, you must continuously do a spot check on yourself. Your health, your energy, and where you direct that for sure. But your health and your energy, physically, mentally and emotionally. There's three different vessels of energy in this world. It's not just your physical output, although what you do physically absolutely affects your mental and emotional well being, state of mind, health and energy 100%. That's why I love getting primal being physical. Because, and I've said this before and people have argued me on it, that's cool. You don't all have to be yes men and say yes al members on the inside get it, but a lot of people who aren't on the inside don't. But your physical health is the only foundation from which everything else can lift up on. And that's a really important thing. I just Want to hit home with you guys. Your physical health is the only foundation from which all things can lift up on. It's really important whether people want to pull my words apart or not. Definitely pull these words apart, because what I'm saying, I'm not saying it's the only foundation, period. Mental health and well being can be an amazing foundation. Your emotional health and wellbeing can be an amazing foundation. There are lots of different points of reference in people, places and things that can serve as some form of foundation to improve that area and have an overlap and improve other areas. But physical health is the only one that hits every fucking one at the same time, man. Every single one. Every single one. Are you thinking about this? Right? If you do some sort of mental strategy, tactic, brain work, whatever it might be to try and invest in your mindset or mental health, fantastic. Has that made you fitter, stronger, leaner, and living longer? No, it hasn't. It might be a precursor to your thoughts and belief systems and commitments to want to go out and train and exercise and blah, blah, blah, blah. But have you done it yet? No, you haven't. So all of these other foundations are really precursors. But your physical health, man, it's done. You're eating well, you're exercising, breathing air, getting out and about doing what we were designed to do. And you don't have to think about how that's affecting you. Your mood changes everything. Your happy hormones, chemical adjustment, everything changes. So health and energy, man, that was a big one for me. And pity party, you know, there's nothing wrong with holding your own pity party. Just be cautious of, you know, when you're setting the date, when the finish time is. Maybe hire some bouncers or some security to close the party down when it's going too long, and be careful of who you invite. You want to throw your own pity party? Sure, go ahead. I threw plenty over the last four months. We all do. We're human. I'm not saying you shouldn't. What I'm saying is it's your pity party. You're the one who's pulling the trigger. You're the one pulling the strings, calling the shots. You're the host, so to speak. And it's on you to really coordinate and facilitate what this party actually means, what you want to get out of it, and how long you want it to go for. Which takes us to now, number six, part two of this podcast, of this episode, really, because I did want it to be a big sort of two hour. I get a lot of Feedback. And it seems like 45 to 60 minutes is the sweet spot. So I like to keep the episodes around there. I've tossed and turned or I've toyed with, I guess the thought of maybe doing short, sharp ones. But I don't know, men. Like, if you really want something short, sharp and punchy, we'd probably have like 4,000 episodes by now. That'd be pretty overwhelming for new people. But really, if you want something short, sharp, punchy, firstly, what for? And secondly, go on fucking YouTube and just load up some motivational shit that'll pump you up for an hour and then see how you go. This is another layer. This is another level. And it's not to the cost or detriment of anyone else who has a podcast that runs less than me. Perhaps episode. I'm not. I'm not painting that yin yang picture of if you're not with me, then you, you know, you're worse off. But what I'm saying is these episodes are really valuable. They're really important. Like, whether you're driving for 45 minutes, you're on the tractor. One of our members. I'll get him on soon. Old Naz. Shout out to Nazareno. My paisan. My Italian. My Italian brother. We've got a fair few Italians on the inside. I think it might have been him telling me that he's. His father was questioning him about the program, obviously old school Italian. And he told him the name. He's like, oh, what, Ranieri? Is he Italian? And Naz is like, yeah, he is, Pop. He's like, ah, fuck, forget about it, mate. Don't worry about it. You're in good hands. Pissing myself laughing. We do have a fair few Italian, so you wouldn't pick it if you looked at me, but, you know, like, Naz was listening in the tractor. Awesome. Whatever it might be, having a good. Wherever you are, in a tractor, in a car, going for a walk, training, wherever you are, man. Like, this is about getting into some deep thought, some deep focus, asking quality questions, and then deriving action plans. I may not always do it on the episode and follow structure. Cool. This, this, this. All right, action plan. Go out and do that. Because you're all slightly different. Like, you can listen to these episodes and be in a completely different state of mind. One week from now, a month from now, a lot of members listen, you know, two or three times, they pull out different golden nuggets. And that's what this is here for you to get into some deep thought and focus and about the rest of the world. You're in your zone now. You're here with Al. We're hanging out together and we're spending some time together to really pull apart some of the pieces of life, how we see life, the, you know, the good, the bad and the ugly and what we can do about that. Seizing life, seizing the moment. We've got members doing intro videos, which is very inspiring. One of our members, you know, really spoke about attention and he said the words more or less, probably paraphrasing him. I need to really start paying attention to my life and my wife and my children and what I want to get out of life. And little things like that, they really just drive me. They're very inspiring, you know, which is why these episodes are inspired by the members and they, they really, you know, they really draw out a deeper level of meaning and seeking for a higher level of meaning and purpose in our life. So they will be 45 to 60 minutes. But what I got from that gentleman was, you know, it was, it was a little quote I just sort of was rattling off to myself yesterday. It's like, you should fucking pay attention. Like you should pay attention to your life because if you don't guess what someone else will and then you'll become a fucking slave at their bidding, at their will, doing what they want. And you'll lose focus inside of what's possible, what you want to do and what you can actually have and achieve in your life. So make sure you understand that, man. Like, that's what I got from that. That was just. And he wasn't even trying or angling in that direction. He just rattled off like, was nothing in me. Like a, like a drone, heat seeking mode, bang, straight on. I was like, man, that's so true. Pay attention to your life. It's so important. It's so valuable, you know, it's so powerful. Pay attention to your life because if you don't, someone else will. And someone else will do with your life, your time, your energy, what they will, what they desire, what they need. Which means you get nothing. Point six, Slow down and listen. Let's crack on into this. So with the, everything that was happening with the throat, it really forced me to slow down and just, just listen. I'm like, you know, I spoke to several friends and mum. And there are a few, few of those friends, including Mum, they're quite holistic in different ways. And mum was like, oh, talking about chakras, you know, with the throat, throat chakra and energy and, and a couple of my mates were the same, and they're like, mate, is there something. Yeah, like, just. Just trying every angle, looking at every. What's going on here, man? Like, there's no answer from the doctors. There's nothing clear what. What is happening? And looking for this answer where it could be symbolic of something spiritual. There's a meaning that's being missed by me because I'm just in crazy mode. Go, go, go. Which I don't feel. And that was the hardest part. I was like, okay, what's going on here? You know, Throat chakra. Okay, all right, let's work with that. What does that mean? Is there something that I need to say? And, you know, whenever someone asks you something like that, what do you do? Of course you go digging. So I'm looking at all the skeletons in my closet. I mean, you guys have probably seen most of the skeletons in my closet. I' pretty open with a lot of different. Different experiences that I've been through and been on the receiving end, unfortunately, but. But fortunately, because I've grown from them. But, yeah, I'm like, is it. Was it something when my marriage was breaking down? Something when I was fat? Something with my injury? Something with. With footy, with. With businesses? Is there something with, like, with money? Like, what. Is there something. I'm not saying that needs to be said. And I. And I was reflecting, apart from, obviously my health and my throat, I was like, my life's in a fucking great spot. Like, I'll always keep growing. Like, I don't want to stay where I am right now for the next 40 years. That doesn't make any sense. What a waste. But it's like, my life's in a pretty good spot. Like, before the injury, obviously, I was really healthy, training a lot. Kids are going good. They're all in reasonable health. I probably had about 10 to 12 various operations for my children, which has been. It's been tough. That's been tough. Every single one of them's had different things. Some of them are standard. You know, some of you guys listening would have had that. Grommets, adenoids, tonsils. Hard part was they needed them several times, especially with the grommets. And Roman had a lot of health issues. He nearly died when. When he was born, he went blue. And he's got two crazy things with a really soft cartilage, I guess, pipeline. When it comes to the lower part of the esophagus, it's called tracheomalacia. And he's got a laryngeal Cleft. So, you know, like the cleft palate on your lip, it's like that. But the separator between your esophagus, so your food pipe and your windpipe, if that's. So there's like, imagine a big damn wall that isn't there. So it's a big concaving. So food, water, everything can go down your windpipe, easy. And if that's a big enough tear, babies are dead. You can't. You can't separate at that level your oxygen and your nutrition. That was really tough. But all that was pretty good. Yeah. Quinn and I are going well. I was like, what's. It's a problem. So, you know, it's really hard. And I think a lot of the times with our lives, man, we need to review times when we're frustrated, irritated, angry, disappointed, not getting the outcomes we want. There are times when all of that's happening. You really need to just put on the brake pedal. Let's just stop or slow down as much as you can. We can never stop life, but let's just slow down as much as you can. That's why creating space is good. Getting out on your own and listen. And that's what I had to do. I had to really slow down and listen. Okay, what's going on? Just. Just stop. And a lot of you men will be going through some hardships where you don't know what the answer is. And it doesn't mean that you sit down and stop and just journal and you write lots of things. A lot of the times not thinking at all, and just. I just need to stop, slow down everything, have a break. It could be anything, man. Call it a holiday, call it whatever you want. Call it a day, a week, a month. Call it a practice. Every day for 15 to 20 minutes. You know what, it's going to sit out the back, go for a barefoot walk out on the footy field, kick the footy around with the young bloke, whatever it might be. I need to do something where I'm just not thinking about life at all. And then you need to couple that. So slow down and listen. So what I was starting to do in practice was nothing. And really taking time out. I got a, you know, a few different ways that I do that in creating space and taking time out, which is all pretty standard stuff. You know, there's no. There's no secret formula. Going out for walks, love. Just spending time with my dogs in the backyard. Those animals are amazing. Obviously, getting out on the water is great out at the beach, anything to do with nature, really, you can't miss. And then couple that with them when, okay, I get back into the office or place of work, start processing. You know, if things are good in my life, what could be true from which they would be a little bit better in family and self and service, what would need to be true for this ailment I'm currently suffering from? And some of you guys, you might have the answer, right? Like this is when it's really mysterious and unknown. A lot of the times, man, the answer is there. Like I was in fucking mystery zone. I just got. Just could not crack it, couldn't find it. But for a lot of you men, it doesn't take too much speaking about this like it's some sort of secret. It's not slowing down and listening. It's going to show you why your marriages are in trouble. It's going to show you why you feel estranged to your children. You're not quite connecting the way you should. It's going to show you where you may be missing the mark financially or not investing in yourself or not applying folks in the right areas of your business or not juggling and creating boundaries and healthy yeses and no's so you become a slave to your business or to your family. Could be you not training, not exercising, not looking after yourself, your own body. When's the last time you looked in the mirror and said, I fucking love you, man, You're a fucking top bloke, you've been through shit. But you know, I got your back. And literally just saying that to yourself. So number six was very valuable for me because it's just slowing down and listening and I did it all. I went out and. Beautiful spot where I'm just like up on a, like, it's a nice sort of cliff, cliff edge area which overlooks all of central coast. Beautiful spot. Just out there on my own kicking back. It's just a massive flat rock area too, which is very cool. Scary. Fucking hell. You just. When you get that high, you don't want to go. You don't want to go too close to the edge in case any of the footings or the rocks break away. But just being that high, that elevation was awesome and just spent some time out there. Did a bit of journaling out there. That was really cool. But I think just slowing down, like it was a crazy part of my life at investment property. We're getting ready to rent out, obviously still at that stage, settling in to the place I'm at now. Hiring, recruiting, developing, building, developing, building a new program, a program upgrade that we have now developing courses. Got some fucking amazing courses that are built out or just about built out. I just got to do the final video pieces and then they're done in the next week or so. It's. I look back and I'm like, that was a lot, man. Because I'm sitting here now sifting through my head, trying to think of what my answer was, slow down and listen. I was like, oh, pure workload. But the hard part was we measure things differently because of playing rugby league and lots of different things that has fortified me mentally. I'm so fucking mentally strong, man. In my head, nothing will crack me, nothing will break me. But my body was just breaking down. And it wasn't that I was waking up at 3am and doing all that silly stuff. It was just like my body was just breaking down with the workload it was under. And that was the reality. And I couldn't identify that until I stopped and slowed down and listened. And then from there I started to look at what we're doing and then develop leaders in the group and then obviously develop with that leadership. Different things I can delegate with my family, look at different ways to communicate and obviously work through that period of time. But also knowing, even though it was scary thinking this will never fucking end, that you know what? This is why it's happened. It's because of this, this, this, this and this. And then all of those things stack up to a shitload of talking, traveling, different areas, and lo and behold, that's all it takes. And the throat gets into a vicious cycle. So, gentlemen, number six is slow down and listen. You owe it to yourself, even if things are going well, to slow down and listen and review how things are traveling and where you're at and why they're successful so you can continue doing that. Point number seven was the chameleon of power. There are times when. And that was probably a good one to piggyback off that last point. Around rugby league, I believe that football and power was seen that way. It was physical strength, domination, mental toughness. All of that, all of that mindset stuff around a battlefield was the answer. It's a great answer. You can directly correlate that to business, to lots of different things. Probably not relationships, but definitely business. Anything else that has that competitive drive where you need to bring out that testosterone 100%. But what I started to learn was I need to find different ways to channel my power. So that came into different ways that I Communicated with the team because I couldn't talk to the team every day, obviously a different way to communicate with them. So a chameleon of power. Point number seven is you need to find different ways, different channels to continually progress inside of your life. You must. So it might not be talking for you like it was for me, which then became different lines of communication, different ways of exercise because I couldn't. So it was walking, stretching, mobility, not necessarily yoga, probably a little bit of that, but stretching, mobility and just breath work slowing everything down. So all of those are probably in a combination form of yoga. But that was empowering for me because I was doing something. And what I talk about, what I'm talking about when I say chameleon of power, is really getting your power back through having certainty and control again. Think about this. You get power from your leadership, not over others, but from others because they allow themselves to be influenced. They're on your side, they're in your corner and they connect with you. That's a form of power that you are creating together because you obviously need to be empowering them to some respects and you're delivering value and so on and so forth. It becomes reciprocal. So when you're creating certainty, control inside of your life, it gives you a clear direction. It gives you that feeling of either reward or even significance that's going to get taken from you at some stage. Gentlemen, in the way that you traditionally believe or through the history of your life has been a pathway to power. So I lost my body. I couldn't train for four months. I wasn't sloppy and completely destroyed. But I tell you what, I looked in the mirror, I was like, man, like you, you're an international athlete. What happened to you? You know, and that they're again, their little thoughts and things that were creeping inside. I'm like, okay, well I don't know how long this is going to go for. And now I'm obviously charging ahead. You know, I've done in the last two weeks, I think I've done over 580 pull ups, sorry, 600 pull ups in the last two weeks. So I've got a goal of doing 500 pull ups in one session. I don't care about how long it takes, like man, 112 kilos, 6 foot 4. 500 is 500, right? So working that out and getting my power back there, cool. I'm going to do two every 20 seconds. Six a minute, no dramas. I want to get under 15 minutes for 100. No worries. So I started to find out that there are different ways that you can get power. So for me, CrossFit was very powerful strength training, obviously very powerful body weight stuff. Of course I'm strong, but relative to my body weight, you do a pull up, I do a pull up. You're 70 kilos and 5 foot 4. You know it's going to be easier for you there. Regardless of people talking about body to weight, body weight ratio and muscle mass, blah, blah, blah, there are she biomechanical levers inside of us in human beings and how we function where that exponentially gets blown out of the water. And one of the most easiest examples is pull ups. Even if we measured true power, I do 10 pull ups at 112. Fantastic. What's that? It's just over a ton that's been lifted. And it's been lifted. If I measured my arms, probably 80 centimeters. No worries. If you're 5 foot 4, 70 kilos, you did 700 kilos in your pull ups and you only measured 60 centimeters. So I went 20 centimeters longer per rep and lifted 500 kilos more. So about 1200 with counting. One hundred and twelve thereabouts. And there you go, you look at that and you're like, all right, well there's a true measurement, but we don't measure things that way, right? You did 12 pull ups, I only did six. You're the winner. So it's not about just comparing your competition, but these were different things where I can leverage people who are better at me than these things and create that competitive edge in my head and go, well, fuck that. I'm going to be the fucking big guy who can do pull ups. And we're off. I've been doing so many it's crazy, man. It never feels easy too so funny. So you need to be a chameleon of power and find different things. You lose your legs. Kurt Fernley, perfect example like that. I don't know him personally, but man, that did that dude, he did Kokoda on his fucking chest like every single time. He like obviously crawled it. So facing the mud, facing the shit. And literally every time he moves a meter, it's like a bench press. It's like a 60 to 70 kilo bench press. That's fucking insane. I'm not saying if you lose your legs, okay, cool, do some upper body work. What I'm saying is that's symbolic because it's an easy one to understand that when you feel like you lose your power in an area or position where it is commonly held that you have that power. You need to adapt. You need to adjust the chameleon of power. You need to find different ways that you can create certainty and control in a genuine way through love and leadership. Not power over other people or over other things or situations. But one thing I learned was I had to find different ways to empower myself. It was really tough. I'm like, man, I can't train the way I used to. Okay, cool. Train a different way. I can't speak as much as I want to and I'm a phenomenal communicator. I raise my children exceptionally well because of the dialogue I create with them, their vocabulary, their wits. I mean, I'm a really good smart ass fuck, man, they're going to be acing that. It's insane how cheeky they are. Are already very, very cool. I like that. You need that, right? That's going to help them in school. Different environment situations with bullies. You know, I'm also definitely going to get them into boxing, some sort of sports. Like it's not this, oh, hey, go tell the teacher. Someone's pushing or touching or hassling my children, like physically harming them. You know, I say this with respect, but I want to make sure my son punches the fuck out of him and teaches them a lesson to never do that again. You guys might not agree with that. Maybe punch the fuck out of them is a little bit harsh. But I'll tell you what, that's something. I'll certainly be raising my children with the ability to defend themselves. So yes, I'm doing all that well. But then that's taken from me. So how do I continually articulate and build this connection? I sing to my children every night. I sing to them. I sing that's Amore by Dean Martin to my daughters. And I sing a spot. My son Roman loves spot at the moment, so I sing a Spot song. The dog loves it. I've met over there for months. My children used to love that. Daddy, can you. They call it the Pizza Pie song. So funny. Daddy, can you sing pizza pie? You know, ends couldn't do any of that. I had to find different ways to connect with them. So men, point number seven is you must find different ways from which you can still express a level of personal power through life and what you're connected to. And maybe you need to rewire some of those connections. You don't have to lose what you're connected to. Like I didn't have to lose the fundamental truth that I love exercise and health and well being. I just had to rewire the connection to them, from which this connection became a different pathway that was still empowering me. And that's important. It's like, okay, cool, I can't train. So that line, I've got different pathways. What's a different pathway to potentially try and achieve the same outcome. And then when that all stops and you feel you're completely stuck, then you need to sit down, visualize and create new outcomes. That simple. The chameleon of power is understand that you're not stuck. You don't have to be stuck with the identity. I'm not al the high performance father guy or the high performance father man. Or it's. You're not bound by labels and titles, man. There are different ways you can add value, have impact, and create influence and create the life that you want with meaning and fulfillment in the moment. And in those moments, you just sometimes need to be creative. When things change, you need to innovate and adapt. Which takes me to point number eight. Plan and perform. Being really restricted, and I'm really good at this stuff already. I obviously practice what we preach with hpf, but being restricted like that, I really need to triple down and be like, okay, well, piggybacking off the chameleon of power. I need to really find a way to actually maintain my performance. It's all well and good. Just, I can't train. I'll do. I'll do what I said before. Mobility and stretching. What does that look like? You've got to be accurate, men. Accuracy is the key. If you just have a bow and arrow and you're aiming at a tree, you might hit it, you might not. If you hit it, whoop dee doo. You hit it high, you hit it low, you hit it in the middle, you hit it on the right end outcome, you hit the tree. Awesome. How does that make your life better or different or make you sharper or better? You've got a tree, and on that tree, you stick a board, plywood, spray paint, the white ring on the outside, so to speak, the yellow ring, and then the red bullseye and dot. Beautiful. You got something to aim for. You must have accuracy inside of your life with your goals, what you're planning and what you desire. Because when you're extremely accurate, as accurate as you can be, right? It's such a fucking crazy thing in this life. Here's the mountain we want to climb, but you don't have to climb it in one day. What you need to do is look at that mountain and then, like, look up the Top. Cool. That's my point, B. Then look down to where the clouds finish. Where is your vision limited? Okay. It's to about a quarter of the mountain now. No worries. If we're looking at 12 months. Well, there's your first quarter. 90 days. Okay, I can see about 90 days. I can see the top of the mountain because that's gone so high. It's above the clouds. But then when I come back, I can't see the second, third and fourth quarter. I can only see the first one. No dramas, man. Don't worry about the other three. You can see this one though, right? You can see right in front of you. You can see the next 90 days. Okay, awesome. Start with that. Start carving out some steps. You just need to start carving out some steps into that mountain and just start climbing one step at a time. That's it. That's all you need to do. And you need to really develop this positive feedback loop inside of your head to become a fucking winner. Because you've planned it, you've performed it it. So you've planned and performed and you've gotten the outcome. And if the outcome wasn't quite what you wanted, carve a better step, carve a new step, move to the right, change the terrain, adjust the landscape. And that was so important for me because I'm like, how the fuck am I going to pull this off? Where I'm going to stay mentally solid, keep the business growing? So I had the business, had the family, had my own health. All of that was going fucking downhill because the leader in myself, in the business, with the family, like, it was going downhill for me. Not in a physical sense, but for me. I was like, well, how the fuck can I perform providing value and service, AKA you boys didn't get a podcast for four and a half months, right? How can I perform for my family? It was going downhill for me mentally and emotionally and physically, obviously, because of my health. I was like, well, fuck, man. Like, I'm not a fucking loser. And I'm definitely not going to stay down here. I'm definitely not going back in the pit. No fucking way. I must find a way. And you must understand that power too. Fellas, we talk about confidence being a tangible thing, but a lot of the times you're creating or doing something that you might not have specifically done before, and if it is the same thing, you haven't done it on this day. If I'm going to train March 10, 2023. Awesome. I might do the exact same fucking training session that I Did two months ago. But I've never done that training session before on March 10, 2023. So you're always sort of doing something new in life, but what you can do is draw on previous experiences to develop and build confidence to then just bridge that gap. Not the whole mountain, just bridge the gap, carve out the steps, start moving up. You can't do that unless you plan. So for me, I had to really triple down on my planning. And the planning is the what, but most importantly the how. And that is, like I say, most importantly because the what's something that you should have coaches, you should have someone in your corner, you should have accountability, you should create alignment. You know, you should get all of our. Whether you're not not joining the inside or not, at least get our free raw resources. I say shoulds because they shoulds, gentlemen. Like you can't. The most important part and the longest part is the journey and the steps to get there. So the actual planning, the part B, that's a fucking given for me, man. It's like, all right, bang, here we go. That is the very first thing in HPF alignment. Where are we going and why? That. That's it. There's actually a really short amount of time on that. Super important but very simple and a given because then from there, okay, cool. We've spent 10 minutes carving out what you want to be true in 12 months time. Now we've got to spend 365 days getting there. You might get there in 300, 150, but you're spending exponentially more time on the actual doing. And then from there you're adjusting and re coordinating your efforts to make sure that you're on the right track. Plan and perform. That's point number eight and what I traditionally assumed because as humans we naturally, we do assume, try not to actively assume, but we obviously subconsciously assume. Yeah, I assume that I'm going to wake up and breathe. I assume that I'm going to breathe easily. I assume that I'm going to be able to talk pretty simple fundamental things to life, right? So it's natural to have those assumptions that all got shot to shit. So I had to figure out a different plan so I could still perform. Which ties into number seven as well. The chameleon of power. You need to adjust what's going to bring power inside of your life through your actions, but you also need to plan and perform and plan and perform and plan and perform and make sure you do your due diligence on that. Otherwise you'll drift and you just float through space. Pay attention to your life. If not, someone else will and they'll take your time and energy, use it for themselves. I hope this is serving you men well. As part two, we're talking about putting all of this together before we go through the last points. Number one, choose which emotions will serve you better. And more often than not, they're emotions in the future. Which means you can triple down on just taking action now. Number two, the importance of speech. It's very important to know that you can use your words to actually acknowledge people and help them feel understood and connected, not just use your words so you're listen to and you're heard. Number three, it's always the little things that are the most important in life and matter the most. I'm so blessed. And they're little, but they're big, right? I'm so blessed to be able to breathe. I'm so blessed to have children. Little but big. You've seen them every day. Maybe some of you guys haven't. And I feel for you, man, like there's some fucking tough stuff for a lot of fathers. But the point is, some of the simple things in life, the little things are the most important. 0.3. Gratitude. The little things. 0.4. Health and energy. That's got to be number one on every single man's list because that is the vehicle from which you're channeling life. So I don't care how good you are with business, your mindset, intelligence, your iq, anything, it means nothing or it's at least very limited. If you're not operating at 100% pity parties, understand you're the host. Don't hold them for long. Don't invite many people. And invite the people who are going to help you. Shut up shop and kick everyone else out of the party so you can get back on with life.6 from today's episode, slow down and listen. The answers are actually always there. You haven't just positioned yourself to be ready yet to hear them. Maybe today's your day, maybe this episode is yours. But you are ready and you do hear them. 7. Chameleon of power. Power comes in many forms. Don't become accustomed to the one that's just worked for you in the past, meaning it'll work for you in the future. Because maybe it won't and needs to change. If my knee was good, especially my mindset now, I know I'm a little bit older in footy sense, but I would fucking tear up the rugby league field. Nine injuries and nine operations over six years. It's a tough run, man. Not quite sure how I was supposed to make it, but even if I did make it would have been short lived. Your power can change if you're willing to change. And sometimes, you know, it's not a luxury, it's a must. Inside of your life. Point 8. Plan and perform. Regardless of how well or how poor your life is going, the more accuracy you have inside of what is it your desiring, moving towards and want to achieve or reach. The higher your commitment and the better your chances are of following through to achieve it. And there'll be times when you need to adapt, adjust, innovate, do it. Just keep planning. Keep. There's no one plan. You should have fucking thousands of plans across your life. Thousands. And you perform on all of them. Because what you plan today and what you perform on that plan today, tomorrow becomes the foundation. It becomes the brick and mortar. It becomes the bricks and the mortar to then build the next plan for the next day. What you plan today to execute on tomorrow becomes the foundation for the next plan. Points 9 and 10.9. Your subconscious lives in the shadows and is always eavesdropping. So your subconscious eavesdrops is point number nine. Your subconscious is a very powerful thing, man. It's a study where they did a measurement of your conscious mind and subconscious mind. Your conscious mind operates at 40 bits per second. Like converting this to obviously computer processing speed. Your subconscious operates at 40,000. It's one clever motherfucker. He's listening. He knows. Your subconscious eavesdrops on you every single day. Your subconscious eavesdrops on your thoughts and your feelings. Because what that is is your internal dialogue. So your subconscious is always eavesdropping on your words, whether it's inside or out, spoken or thought or felt. And that was a big one for me. Because when I had those down moments, those down times like I shared in episode one, I'm laying in the shower and I'm just getting smashed. Getting smashed by little Al little voice inside and just feeling, feeling so defeated, so deflated. Not in life, but in that moment. But there is no other life than the moment you're in now, right? So you can't escape, man. Nor should you want to. You need to face the demons. You need to face the dragon. But how I handled that and sorry, the reason why I handled that the way I did was because of my subconscious over so many years. The little fat kid who got bullied and picked on girls liked him. Girls used to laugh at me, pick on me. Boys used to laugh at me and pick on me. And I still had friends and I still socialize, but I was a pretty easy target, I'd say as well, some degree. I wasn't the only fat kid. It's not poor me. Al's the only one in the world who went through pain when he was younger. Just sharing my experience and man, it was rough. It was rough. From that to training to then becoming an elite athlete, to then set back after setback and injury and operation, keep bouncing back to then having nothing, then starting up again and starting a gym. And then from there the gym, up and down, no money, struggling. But being an elite CrossFit athlete, that was my jam. That's who I was then. Didn't care about business or money or building my life to then fatherhood, the ups and the downs, all of this. There's always been an underpinning, an underlying nature of mine to fight back when I need to, to come back out on top and to win. And now that's just part of my subconscious. So this is an interesting point because it goes both ways, gentlemen. Your subconscious is always eavesdropping. So guess what? I've just. Because think of it like a recording or the old cassette tapes. You remember the old cassette tapes you used to put your pen inside and that's how you'd rewind and fast forward them. You know, you do it too much and then all the film's out. Crazy. Think of that. Your subconscious is a cassette tape and you've got the player or the recorder, right? And the cassette player and you can re record over it. So you can do that, but the re recording is quite slow, 40 bits per second instead of 40,000. But you can do it because it's always listening. Your subconscious is always listening. So if you're actively backing, this is what I'm talking about when I say how the little things are the answer. The simple things. Looking at yourself do this, I promise you this much, your life will improve. What have we got, 13 days of the month left for February? You might be listening to this later in the year. That's fine. Whatever's left for the rest of the month that you're in when you're listening to this, look in the fucking mirror every morning and say, you're a fucking legend. I love you, man. I'm going to make sure that version 2.0 comes out and I'm going to dominate and win today. If you just said that every day for the rest of the Month or for a month? 30 days, 28 days, 14 days. I guarantee you things will improve. You are building. You are banking. You're building and making emotional and subconscious deposits in the bank account of your greatness to then make withdrawals, to tap into, to use and spend when you need it. So because I've banked such a large. Very wealthy. I'm a billionaire. I'm a billionaire with this stuff. When it comes to overcoming adversities and fighting to get back to the top, like, that's just the story of my life. So I'm a billionaire there. I've got lots. I made a lot of withdrawals, man. I withdrew lots of money. I withdrew a lot over the last four months, but in retrospect, was still probably only about $100 million. So if I've got a billion in there, I'm still good. And guess what? I'll make those deposits back again now because I'm strong. I'm back in front and back on top. That's how you got to be, man. You need to rerecord your subconscious through what you're actively doing every day, what you're actively pursuing. You don't think much of it. Okay, I'll look in the mirror here. I love you, Al blah, blah, blah, whatever your name may be. Okay, awesome. Listen, this isn't about your pride or ego. Don't fucking worry about that. You're doing this for the deeper underlying version of who you are, your subconscious. You're doing this for the version underneath you that's autonomous. 91% of your life. Our lives as human beings. 91% of it's autonomous. 9%. Think about that. 9% is the difference between the poor fucking bum on the street struggling and getting help here and there where he can, and the man who's flying high and the high performance father. King of the jungle, king of the castle. He's got his palace, got his kingdom. Everything's awesome. Nine percent. That's it. So don't worry about what you actively think. Don't worry about the 40 bits. The 40,000 is what you're investing in because you'll fucking need that, man. You'll need that one day. Your subconscious eavesdrops from the shadows, whether you know it or not. It's always there. And if you can bank some runs on the board in your favor, it will come out and help you when you need it. And it certainly helped me, like, when I was having that dialogue and was like, okay, cool, you want to kick, you know, little L, you Want to give it to me? Awesome, man. Give me your fucking best shot. So I'm still here. I haven't died yet, have I? You haven't got me yet, have you? You think you're the one. You think you're the man. You think you've got me covered. Good luck with that. Like, this was this. I know I spoke about this the first episode, but I just laugh. I'm laying down, there's just water all over. I can't even open my eyes. You know, like if I'm laying down in the shower and there's water all over my eyes too and you know, it's sort of semi stinging like when you're under the pool. It's got that, that, that sting as I can't even open my eyes. I'm laying there and I'm like, just almost crying and laughing at the same time and like, all right, man, you'll see. You'll see. Enjoy this. Enjoy this moment. Enjoy it now, you know, and my mind. I've got mental acreage and little hours all the way down the back of the paddock with the chickens. He's in the little electric fence and the coop that gets moved around every couple of weeks. So he'll come back, but for now, he's way down the back. I can't see him. And I'm not ringing the bell for dinner time for him either. Gentlemen, your subconscious is such a powerful thing. Invest in it. Invest in it right fucking now. Think about this. Some of you men have. Obviously, some of you haven't. But think about this. Some of you men. 200. Over 200 episodes. Some of you men have gone through every single episode, over 215 episodes of some big red, some owl love, someone in your corner, throwing some great stuff your way and supporting you in your corner, believing in you, wanting you to win. What do you think? I mean, some of you men haven't met me and some maybe never will, but what do you think that's doing for you? And it's not even my voice or who I am or hpf, or some of you will see this and then you'll become, you know, so in tune with everything. Like, man, I got to be part of this on a bigger level. And that does happen. Men will listen to our podcast. They reach out and they join on the inside. Fucking awesome, man. That's great. And then we obviously 100x what a simple podcast is. But all that aside, just listening to this man, this is very empowering stuff. And believing, backing yourself, owning the Truth. Standing up to the facts. Facing the dragon or the demons in front of you. Conquering it. Taking relentless action. Your lives will improve. They must. Or spend an hour watching fucking bullshit. Brain dead. You think that your subconscious is turned off. You're sitting there and watching TV or watching romantic comedies and then you're fucking bitter and disappointed with your wife. Watching movies In Hollywood. They have sex and old mate fucking comes in her and then they roll over and they're having a siggy and having a laugh. What about the shit dripping out of her and she's got to go to the fucking toilet and wipe it up with tissue. You don't of that, do you? All the fucking. None of the nitty gritty and all the fucking. All of the glorified bullshit. Which isn't real. Right? You think your subconscious is turned off. Man, I can't fucking stand looking at a rainbow now. It's fucking disgusting. Like it kills me. And it's not because of gay people or lesbians. It's fucking killing me the way that bullshit is getting fucking shoved down our children's fucking throats. There's a centre on display up here at Central coast. And the whole Mardi Gras celebration thing in an area for kids. Get the fuck out of here. You're fucking kidding me. This bullshit for fucking children. Most adults can't handle that shit. They don't know who the fuck they are. Making crazy decisions before thinking them through. Let alone believing that children have the mental capacity and stability to process that shit. Yet here we go. We accept all this fucking bullshit in our life and what do you think that's doing? That's fucking programming you. That is conditioning you. That's why I don't watch the news. I've got friends in media. Like it's not. I don't have an issue against an individual person or the career, what they want to do. Awesome. Good for you. But in terms of the monster or the machine. Fuck that. You don't tell me what I should be fucking thinking. You certainly don't tell me how to think. You just tell me what to think. And you guys really think that shit's in your corner? It is insane. I don't watch the news. I don't listen to the radio. Fucking nothing. Newspaper. Fuck off. Never. It's been so many years, man. My life hasn't ended. If the world's gonna end, I'm pretty sure I'll know about it. If something's super important, someone will probably tell me anyway. But I'll tell you what. Gentlemen, like everything we go through with these 10 points, these are precursors on what you should be raising your children with as well. And your subconscious never turns off. Ever used to fucking love the rainbow, man. It's such a beautiful miracle. There's one like it out back of our house and it goes into the water every now and then. Incredible different experience for me as a child, looking up at the rainbows as it is for my children, especially when they ask questions and try and join the Dr. Buck. Nah, nah, nah, no fucking way. Let's have that chat. So it's important to understand, and that's as fired up as I might get about a specific situation. That is a prime example, man. Prime example may not happen as much in Australia. I'm seeing a few little things pop up that I'm not entirely happy with. But tell you what, another, in other countries, it's rife. And I feel for the us, The USA is, you know, I've got a few USA patriots who obviously listen to this and members as well. But man, the USA has fallen. Like, I. I really feel for them, man. Bringing that into the education system for children. That's disgusting. Yeah, it's okay. Even this mask stuff, like, it's crazy, man. Again the dust settles and with more time you'll see the absolute overkill from the government. Fucking overkill to the extreme. The mask saved lives. How the fuck would you know? Did you do a sample study? Have we gone through one before without and one with them? But all that aside, like sitting down in a restaurant, take it off, stand up, put it on. Anyway, it's crazy. It was mind boggling. For someone who's a critical thinker and free thinker, it just, a lot of it didn't make sense. But what made me the most angriest was the children, man. And my daughter would keep asking me like, like even now, she's like, daddy, that man's just walking the street, why is he wearing a mask? And I'm like, well, because he's afraid, sweetheart. He's afraid of what? I'm not quite sure, darling, but you don't have to wear one. Like, seriously, John, when you go on for a walk, out in fucking public, out in nature, we're driving past, there's no one within 100 metres of this bloke in open air. I'm in a car with my windows up, Dr. Driving past like, that's insane. Think about that subconsciously, what that is doing to children. And then let's get back on. You think about every day the little story. I've worked hard, I deserve a beer. All those little things, all those little things, those little nuances, those catchphrases, the fucking stories, all the little shit you feed yourself to make it okay. This is all right. Everyone else is the fuck everyone else. Don't do what everyone else is doing. Do what A is the right thing to do and B is the right thing that's going continually grow and lead to your evolution as a human being in your life. Your subconscious plays the biggest role in that. Now the gatekeeper is absolutely your actions from your active mind and your conscious. And that's the craziest part. Your subconscious is the entire kingdom, but your conscious awareness, right here and right now, listening to this, both of them are working at once. Hopefully. You're obviously listening and paying attention. That's the gatekeeper. You hold the keys. That's the craziest part. You don't even need to think about the most powerful part inside of you. You. That's almost all autonomous, but the one who opens the keys to the right doors to that power or lack thereof, is you. Point number 10, ironically piggybacks off that one as well, I guess. Do what you are supposed to do. With everything happening with my throat, I just, I feel shit that I had to do, so I did it. But what really helped me stay committed to it, even though it was tough, even though I went backwards sometimes, wasn't great, sometimes I had to talk and whatnot. I did what I was supposed to do. Now another layer of this is obviously find out what the right thing is to do. I get all that. Do a triage, check yourself, do a self audit, Find out what you are supposed to do. What are you supposed to do? All of these questions right. You need to analyze and, and be able to separate the right from wrong or the highest value action. What's going to create the best roi? What's the best type of action? What holds the most value in my life. All of that's a given, gentleman. I mean, I don't want to spend lots of time every single episode going through that. But when you have that as your base and you do know the answer, you fucking don't it. You do what you're supposed to do. Do what you are supposed to do. Don't ignore it. Don't run away from it. Don't hide from it. Don't push it back. Don't sweep it on a rug. Don't bury your head in the sand. Own up, stand up. Look at that fucking thing square in the eye and what you need to do and do it. And when you take action, you pull the trigger again, again, again. You'll build unbelievable velocity inside of your life, man. And you will head towards a trajectory that is unknown. Awesome. It's fucking scary. It's uncomfortable, but great. Life is about discovery. Let's start discovering. So having this chat with my friend earlier, talking about gyms. He wants to get out of his gym and he's on a pathway of growth. Younger and doesn't have kids yet. But I was like, man, now's the time when you get kids. Fucking, that's way harder. Not impossible, way harder. But the end outcome from this conversation we're having was simple. I said, man, life is like, look, you could be a woman who's obese in your 40s. This woman eventually gets healthy, fit and strong, does a certificate three in fitness and does a cert four in personal training. Goes and trains at a gym for a year, couple of years, builds more certification and, you know, starts training clients and blah, blah, blah and unreal. Maybe her goal one day in her 50s is to own a gym. And I started a gym when I was 26. Like I'm a fucking fool if I have one on when I'm 56. That doesn't make sense to me. So maybe on her trajectory because of her life choices, because of where she's at in her mid-40s. Good goal. You've got 20 years go. You can go from zero to one or one to three. It's all just levels, levels and layers or levels and vehicles. You gotta find the right vehicle. Like, I'll never own a gym. The only way I'll own gyms again is if we truly go to another level with hpf, which would be pretty crazy. I'm not sure if it's necessary, but it would be cool. I guess it just. Our spitballing here would be to have like HPF hubs. Imagine that having like a center, like a wellness center where you could come in, you could work. So I had an area for business doing work. Business and boardrooms and everything. Also wellness area with spas, saunas, obviously gymnasiums and whatnot, and potentially cafes. And I know people have thought about this sort of stuff before. There are probably some that exist virgin active. Those gyms are set up in some capacity like that. Imagine having a HPF hub like that just for fathers. That would be epic. That's the only way I would do it, man. The only way. And the only reason, as an add on, as a layer, as Another level to obviously this vehicle helping fathers and driving this higher level of leadership and connection and opportunity. Not through just an online platform, events, tribal catch ups, retreats, but also having that as well and having bases or hubs the only way. And what we got from this conversation was, life is a fucking sprint, man. You better believe it. Do not think otherwise. Do not think of anything else other than that and do not believe otherwise, man. It is an absolute sprint. It doesn't mean you're filled with chaos and a mindset of, I have to sprint today because my life will be gone tomorrow. That's more of a reflection and a gratitude and understanding of something that you don't actually control because you might be gone tomorrow. Live each day as you last and one day you'll be right. It's true. You don't have to bring the chaos, the uncertainty, the fear with that though, right? But life is a sprint, man. And the vehicle and trajectory, the angles just change. The angle changes. Like we're talking about example of someone just, you know, older woman wanting to get in there one day, own a gym. Cool. This is the angle might be at 11 degrees, might have a little kick in your step, but you started at 4 degrees. Other people might be at 34 degrees and then they have a kick up to 60 or I'm blown away. When I look back at some of the stuff we've created, man, like, it's been a savage five years, you know, from the depths of despair to where we are now, it's crazy. Like, this trajectory is almost scary. I have no idea where I'll be in my 50s. None in a good way. The only way I got that opportunity, gentlemen, was doing what I was supposed to do do. And that doesn't mean I was perfect either, nor am I now. It's like remembrance. It's that continual game of refinement, of finding out what the right thing is to do first and then doing it. What am I supposed to do? This is what I am supposed to do and I will do it. Which ties into all of these points. As we wrap this up, I'll take a sip of water and let's fucking rip into it. And rapid fire. All right, wrapping up the episode 10 life lessons. Which emotion will serve you best? The one now where you're feeling sorry for yourself. And this feeling that'll fleet, but it'll keep you warm because right now you can draw on some control through your emotion right now. Anger, rage, bitterness, resentment, disappointment, sadness in the now. But is that now going to create A better now in 24 hours or 24 days time? Or is it the emotions later? The emotional hook you cast out that you can reel in? Choose the emotion later if the emotion now isn't serving a higher purpose for your growth and development. Speaking is really important to acknowledge people and to connect, not just to be heard. It's always the little things that you should be most grateful for in life because they're the things that make life possible and they're the things, ironically enough, that are most easy to attain and to appreciate. So appreciate them. You don't need to appreciate the complexities of this Tesla car and blah blah blah and saving energy. Don't worry about that. Just live your life as a fundamental human going, I'm blessed to have all of my fingers and thumbs. I'm blessed to be able to go for this walk. Thank you. Thank you Al, for saying yes, get the fuck up at 5am and go for that morning walk. Even though I didn't feel like it. Being grateful to yourself, health is important too. Health is vital. You don't have that. You don't have anything. When you need to throw your pity parties, keep them short. It's not a holiday you're not going to. I'm trying to think of an extended holiday. I'm sure there's plenty in America. I can't think of any in Australia. But you know, it's not a party to celebrate and reward yourself. Where we're going on this, it's not a festival that goes for five days and nights up in Byron Bay out at belongal Fields fucking camping. Short and sweet. Limit the people you invite and make sure you stick to a time and shut that party down. Take the time you should every week, whether your life's going good or bad, to slow down and listen to yourself, listen to yourself, listen to the universe and. And take that with the other steps as well. The other points in your stride. When I was sitting out on the back, there was water back there with the water at the back of our place, there's ducks. They look calm and peaceful. They get close to me. Clear water. See those little feet moving around? There's a couple of seagulls. There are a couple of cranes. Fuck. Lillian's a crack up man. She's so clever. She's so clever she calls them emudux. Daddy, look at the emu ducks. Like how the fuck do you put that shit together? It's insane. It's so funny, man. Emu ducks because they got that posture, you know, with a crane really tall neck and the way they move around. But they've got, you know, obviously the wings and the feet like a duck. So funny. And I'm sitting there, there's a few little ants crawling up and down my legs and a few little fish there nibbling at stuff in the water. There's life everywhere, man, and it's always in motion. So slow down and listen to yourself and just be an observer. Chameleon of power. What you think is power for you today might not be your power and your point of power tomorrow. So make sure you're willing and ready to adjust and adapt and be creative in how you can position yourself to perform, to keep moving forward, to apply value to yourself and other people's lives. Takes me to point 8. Plan and perform. You need to know what you're spending your finite, which means it's incredibly valuable time and energy on what is worthy of my time and energy. Remember, if I gave you a trillion dollars and today was your last day, would you take the offer? I wouldn't. That means your life is worth a trillion dollar. Life, man. You should value that. Awesome. Let's break all that down. If it was a trillion dollars, let's break that down into days or months and years, into days and into hours. What's your time really worth per hour? Value that plan and perform. Be accurate in what you're planning. See your performances of a higher level.9. Your subconscious is always eavesdropping. It's always listening. Make sure it's listening to the good stuff and try and curb or get away from the bad stuff. Limit it. There's always going to be something happening to and around us that we can't control. But what we can control is how we choose to see it. And what we can control is our physical location. If you're going out and you're buying the paper or you're turning on the radio, or you're turning on the news and watching tv or you're binge watching movies fantasies showing you how fucking shit and poor your life is, but how amazing they are on a screen, you will lose. And you deserve to lose. Because what you're reinforcing is that reality. So if you have that ability and power to remove yourself physically from the environment, man, you owe it to yourself to do it. Just. Just do it. And final point, do what you're supposed to do. Like that might come across really simple, but how often do we create stories that justify the reason why we just can't Today. Today's not the day. I'VE been fucking smashing these courses, coaching, talking. Yesterday got a bit rusty, and this morning I'm like, fuck, I can feel the throat a little bit. Tomorrow's a write off. Maybe I can just do it Friday. I was like, ah, but Friday I've got to finish off the rest of our Master of Time course. And, man, that's a. That's an amazing course. I can't wait to roll that out. That's got some. That's fucking 16 videos. I'm like, I thought about. I was like, well, you don't have anyone else to talk to for the rest of the day. Do what the fuck you're supposed to do, Al. Do the podcast. Give the boys some value. Commit to the men. You told them you would roll one out next week. Friday's a write off. You say now you'll do it Friday. Friday will come up, you'll prioritize the course. The boys can wait another week for a podcast. Just fucking do it now. Do what you're supposed to do. And here we are. Fuck. I hope I hit record. Gentlemen, this wraps up the second part, part two of this episode, where, you know, this isn't about me, but I like to share and be an open book to some degree and really share a lot of the life lessons that I get, not just from the members, and I get so many from the men. It's awesome. I learn so much. I believe I learn more than I give, but what I give is so specific and accurate for these men. It's. They value it, but I value their. And I value all of you men listening to this as well. Not far off. 200,000 downloads now. It's awesome. I'm so proud of this. When I just started one day and I was like, all right, let's just, let's just get it rolling. Who is Alex Ranieri? You go back and listen to that first episode, man. It's worlds apart. It's crazy how much can change, how much you can change. So I hope you got some value out of this and you enjoyed this second part. And those last two are really important. Not so much about rainbows and stuff. Like, I'll paint home a point, a pretty fiery and passionate point. But at the end of the day, guess what? I control my environment and I control the environment that my children see, at least for now, which means I'm going to be controlling my own actions, my attitude and approach, and also take control over my actions that are a path of leadership. Not control my children, but my path of leadership can be to educate and help them understand the process of life, the stages of life, and where decisions come from, including your subconscious and how important and pivotal that is. I remember seeing a study once on that. It was quite baffling. And this psychologist was working through. I'll have to find it, I'll have to look it up. This couple had. That wasn't in Australia, was overseas couple had a daughter and then had a son. And they noticed some funny patterns at a young age with the daughter and the son to the point where the daughter wanted to become a boy. And she was adamant she wanted to become a boy and so on and so forth. And her parents and, you know, as traditional as they should be, like, yeah, be supportive. Be supportive of what? You know, supportive of Your daughter, who's 4, 5, 6 years of age, that doesn't really understand her life, her body or the world. So her parents were supportive, but also like, well, hang on, what's going on here? And funnily enough, they went to a child psychologist and I don't like saying the word fixed, but he, I guess, resolved the situation and she was all good, but this was the craziest part. Gentlemen, through understanding their life, how they're operating, had a lot of issues with the young bloke. He needed a lot of TLC and whatnot. What he found to be the cause, because they're all fine now and this was years ago. What he found to be the cause was because the son had so many demanding issues and things that parents needed to address. The daughter was not getting the attention that she wanted. And she, in her mind, put two and two together in her mind as a child. Think of a child like their world is half fantasy, half real. Until the age of seven or eight, or at least six to seven, I believe. She put two and two together in her head and was like, billy's a boy. Mummy and Daddy are giving Billy more time, more attention, more love. Maybe if I'm a boy, I'll get that too. Fucking crazy, man. Like, I couldn't believe it, but I can. Like, he can. It's so simple, right? But when I was watching this and reading up on it as well, I was like, man, that's fucking. That's scary. Imagine the amount of parents who are just so passive and going, okay, cool, let's get your blockers in, let's get your hormone blockers, and blah, blah, blah, blah. But that's what happened. He found the root cause, that she believed that if she was going to turn into a boy, she would get More love from mummy and daddy. And that's why I guess I draw a bit of a harder line with how we're innately wired with two energies. A masculine and feminine energy. Energy, you say. Male, female, man or woman, doesn't matter, but there are two. There are two energies. There's masculine energy and feminine energy. We harbor both just like women do. A high powered woman more often than not will potentially have either a higher powered man or a beta male as a husband. Which is tough down the road because her fundamental and ancestral needs are not being met. She adopts more of a masculine which suppresses the feminine, where he adopts more of the feminine which suppresses versus the masculine. And there lacks this cohesion which I've seen a lot. It's tough, it's rough, but that's it. There's two energies, man. Just like you guys. You can have a lot more feminine or you can just leverage and use it a little bit when you need to and tap into the primal power of your masculine which predominantly makes up a higher portion or percentage of you because of your hormones, your testosterone, your cock and balls. It's pretty simple. And that's who you are. That's who you are and how you're operating at a higher ratio through your energetic expression in life is what I'm saying. That was a little bonus. Maybe that should be point number 11. And talk about fucking sex ed and hormones. Hope this serves you well, man. Crack on into an amazing day, night, afternoon, weekday, weekend. Above all else, I always ask this mate, please take One thing, these 10 lessons, just take one out of all of this. You know what? What? No more pity parties or you know what? Shops. Shops shut. No pity parties for March or for the month ahead. Awesome. You know what, Al? F man, I'm actually going to start planning out my days and what I need to do. Beautiful. You know what, Al? I'm actually going to use my voice more to acknowledge. Not just to repeat or not to be a parrot or not to bark and my wife or my children, but actually to use my voice to acknowledge them. Ace, well done. You know what, Al? I'm going to use this to actually improve my health and start going to the fucking gym. Well done man. Great job. You know what, Al? I'm going to start telling myself that I'm a fucking loser and that I hate myself and doing all these little things to myself. These little mental cuts, these little internal cuts, a death of a thousand cuts. Stop fucking cutting yourself up. I'm going to stop talking shit about myself and I'm going to actually appreciate who I am. Amazing. Well done. Take something, take all of it. Take one of them and apply them to your life immediately. Take care, boys, and I'll see you soon. And that's a wrap. I hope you enjoyed this episode and got some golden nuggets with possibly one or two aha moments as well. If you truly loved and enjoyed what you listened to, then I want to invite you to share this episode with someone who you know needs to hear this. It could be your brother, friends, colleagues, your uncle, even your wife. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that none of us are alone in the hardships we face. But the solution to getting back on top, winning can start with a gift from someone else. And that gift could be an episode like this because another man transformed is another family saved. Which is exactly what we're all about thriving and winning in life. There is no alternative. It's possible. It has been possible. Done. It can be done, so it should be done. I appreciate your support in spreading this message. Cheers.