218. My Secret Weapon - The Formula For Families

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Fantastic. I believe we are live. I believe we are live. Just give another 30 seconds or so. We've got an amazing podcast. Peeling back the curtain. Unveiling, Unveiling the curtain on my secret weapon, which I'm going to temporarily share with all of you just for today. The man, probably the man, the. The number one man who's probably been the most pivotal factor in my life, going from turbulence, turmoil, chaos, ultimately everything falling apart to where we are now and building what I believe to become an incredible empire together. I'm going to introduce you guys into meeting, meet and greet. We're going to talk all things family, business, what's wrong with society today, what's broken with society, families, fathers today, and what we need to do, our responsibilities, our duties, and how we can rise to the call of really leading and innovating the change that the world needs. One father at a time, one family at a time. And this is something that was sparked five years ago now as an idea. I've known my business partner now, Lynn Trinh, for seven years, met way back in 2016, and it's been such an incredible ride to the point where I've done over 200 podcast episodes now, and this is the first one I've actually been nervous for.

This is the one.

This is the one, my man. You know, Lynn's. Lynn's the God, the godfather to my children. And, you know, we. We have an incredible relationship. And I want to introduce you men to this incredible man behind the scenes in what we've built, what we're doing, and really, like I said, the man who's probably the one of the number one reason why I'm in the position I am today. And that doesn't, that's no discredit to my wife, my children. Obviously it's not only one person that can shape and influence your life, but Lynn's run several businesses, created huge impact already, which would have easily surpassed impacting the lives of hundreds of thousands of people easily through his coaching, his businesses, his services over the years developing, growing, building leaders. I remember when I came to Lynn's network and, and started my mentoring journey with, with him and I had a decision to make and it was do I pay the 40 grand that I need to, to keep my gym open and alive and pay the rent and keep the landlords happy, or do I invest in, in this incredibly powerful Asian man who can bench press 180 kilos for reps, who's on this screen right now saying, I can help you change your life and create impact and you know, what a journey, man. So say the rest is history. So appreciate you, bro. And I'm, I'm pumped to, to really take what you helped me so much with, one to one, in a selfish way, behind the scenes where I get so much of your value to now, you know, really promoting to these men, hopefully the first of many podcasts where together we are engineering and steering the ship on how men can create change and impact in their lives. But yeah, hopefully that intro was all right.

I'm, I'm honored, I'm honored to be here, man. I think one of the reasons why, I mean, over the last two years, you know, you and I have been working behind the scenes, you know, after I had kids at Ocean, I've got Atlas now I've got two kids, got a beautiful wife. So for me, it was, you know, previously the first, the five years before, before that, from 2016 to 2020, was kind of me being on the front of the stage, me helping. You know, we got into it because I had a fitness coaching program. You, you, you came into it. It was kind of a mentoring program on how to, how to kind of go online, get more clients, serve more people. And then over the last two years, it's where I've just been behind the scenes. So you'll be in the front man of the show. Nobody's known who I, who I am. I've disappeared. I've disappeared off of planet Earth. But I think it was a really, really good time just for me in my life to focus on being a father. You know, there's so much stress Coming with being the front person of the business, there's so much chaos in running a business itself that I just wanted to take a step back. So, man, I'm honored to be here because I've watched you. I've watched you develop. I've seen what we've built together. I've seen what you've built on your own, which was very impressive. I've seen what we've built together, which is twice as impressive. But I think it's important that we come on because it's. It's. It's so critical that we're both fathers, we both run businesses, we both understand the. The balance that. The fine balance between the two. I. I don't think I really understood this. Like, when I was mentoring you, I wasn't a dad. You know, I. I wasn't even married, right, when I was mentoring. So I. I looked for. Me and Kerry were just dating. We're just going out. And so that dynamic has completely shifted for me because I was so intense in trying to be as successful as I could be, right? I just had this chip on my shoulders, I think. I think most men who end up pursuing success, they have a chip on their shoulder that they'd want to do more. They want to prove people wrong. For me, it was just trying to. Trying to prove my dad wrong. That, you know, being the last kid of six children, all of my siblings were smarter than I was, right? They got massive 99 enter scores. They went into dentistry, optometry, dentistry, physiotherapy. My brother was an actuary, so my siblings, super smart. And then here's me not being able to, you know, I. I think I got 97 or something on my underscore. And that was kind of the. The black sheep of the family, the loser. And that. That, to me, led me down this massive road of going. I need to become successful financially, and that was the chip on my shoulder. But one of the reasons why I wanted to do this podcast with you and actually, like, get out was I think it's so critical for. For a father, a husband, a man, a leader, to be able to juggle both of these things. Because we. The road to success is easy, right? Generally it is. It is quite easy because it's just about being obsessed with what you do and. And growing your business. I think juggling it with family, it's such a different dynamic that it's like, as a family person, I'm useless. As a. As a business leader, it's the opposite identity. You know, you and I talk about the panda and the warrior. I mean, when you're with your family, you have to be patient, you have to be slow, you have to bring out all these attributes. You have to listen as the business leader. You can charge forward, you have to be fast. It's quite a different dynamic. You're fighting a war in business because business is a battle. It's a battle between you and your competition. It's a battle to get out there into the marketplace to market your message. But inside of your family, if you bring that level of energy, if you don't know how to switch that off, you will create chaos and, and which will lead to a divide. And ultimately, like you, you do become successful, you become lonely and unfulfilled. And I think that as every man, I, I think every man truly wants to have a family and they want to build and cultivate a good family because that's. It just makes success way more enjoyable. And I think every father is trying to do the best for their kids, but they just don't know how. Because juggling these two, you know, being a good father, a good husband is really difficult. But then having to produce is really difficult too. Like they're both fucking really hard things to do and then doing both at the same time is, is, is quite impossible. So, you know, I really respect what we've created or what you started to create inside of high performance father. And so I'm here just to kind of, you know, give my glimpse and my worldview of it. So where do we begin now?

Yeah, yeah. I was going to say, man, it's, it's fascinating when you talk about worldview. Like I, I saw that pivotal moment when it wasn't that you weren't all in on me, I was one of many of your students. But when you became a father for the first time, you know, because Lynn, for all of you know, he's worked with people in so many different industries. You have the skill set to literally, you know, implants yourself into their mindset to create a message of what does the client want? What's the product we need to create? How can we help them? Whether it's in dentistry, working with mums, fathers, grandparents, children, teenage athletes, all different types. So whilst you had that skill set, I remember when you became a father for the first time and with Ocean and then it was like the, the reality, not that you had an easy path. Like I said, business can be quite easy where we can be that warrior, that Viking that we talk about, just go out and hunt and do it. And. And a lot of men don't know how to switch off and have the skills to develop the panda inside, to let the Viking show through results that he's respected of the household. But then be the panda for what the children needs. And that's something that is coupled with not getting sleep, variables you can't control with the children being sick, organizing different schedules and routines, which. All the stuff he went through with Ocean and obviously with Atlas now where for the first time when you became a dad, it was quite fascinating to see how you shifted gears and you're like, oh, Al, I can't. And it's. It's funny. We have this joke. We laugh about it because you're like, with. With the three children I've had and building what I've had to build with those children. At the same time, we laugh and you're like, you shouldn't be here. And, you know, and it's something that we laugh about every day because it is so hard and it's. And juggling that, man, is, you know, when Lyn says that it's in terms of what we've created and built because it is hard and it's hard to juggle. And it's not balanced in the traditional sense that. That people define. And just like success, like, what is success? And I see that, Lynn, and we talk about family, self and service, and I see it as the inevitable contraction and death that's coming with. With life so that ultimately we still can expand through tangible results. We're still growing. So can you do all three? That's the trifecta, man. Almost impossible. And. And that's hard. Winning in business, keeping your relationship not only alive, but thriving through the stages of life and marriage, being the father you should be for your children. And it's not about quantity, it's quality as well. And leading them, that's really hard, man. We see a lot of people, we joke about Bezos and Elon Musk and those guys obviously phenomenally successful in one area, but broken homes and marriages and it's really tough, man. I think that's. I guess that's what I'd love to lead into now. What do you see as the formula for juggling and now you're being a father, successful businessman, husband. Like, what are the key things that come to you right away when it comes to actually having those three things squared away and creating what I believe to be what true success is?

Yeah, I think that's a great question. I think I want to preface this by I generally want to live my life. I know that if I was to make all the money in the world, but I didn't have my wife by my side, I didn't have Kerry by my side. I didn't have children. Like, I don't know if I would be fulfilled. There was one thing that Kerry said to me, and she said as soon as I had Ocean, I just became more fun. Like, and. And. And for the very first time, like, you know, prior to that, when we were dating for four or five years, I was just this intense guy. Like, I would go all in. My number plates literally say a double L, I, N, H, all in, right? My name's Lynn, so I would have this level of intensity and this. This. This. This Persona of just like, work, work, work, work, work. Everything's about work. And I take work very seriously. Because the way I view work is, you know, it's. It's a. It's a battle to get through, to. To work, to. You know, when you think about work, what do you think about? You think about completing, doing shit, getting things done, moving. Moving things forward. Kerry and I didn't have a really good relationship. And funnily enough, our relationship only got better after we had kids. Because now she started to see another side to me, which was fun, playful. My inner child coming out. My little boy. The guy that, you know, he smiles with a big, genuine smile, right? He's not coming up stressed. Like, you know, if I have to go back to the first five years that we're dating, I looked. I looked really old. I looked really stressed. By having kids, I feel actually I look younger. I feel more, like. I feel more rejuvenated. I feel more youthful, and not physically, but just how I feel every day. And having Atlas the Second just brought out this next level of joy. And it's something that I really couldn't explain because I didn't think kids would do this to me in this way. But I was on a search for success because I wanted fulfillment, I wanted acknowledgment. And no matter how much success I got, that's kind of good. Like making more money going, you know, getting our very first business class trips. Those are little milestones, and those are all little fun. You know, buying our Porsches and buying our watches and all of that is a really good milestone. It was enjoyable. But nothing compares to, you know, waking up in the morning and holding your little boy and he's just giggling. Like, the moment you can make your kid giggle is ridiculous. On another level, I Think there's a fundamental shift that me and Kerry had, and we were very lucky because we actually grew closer from having kids. I was able to soften up and she was able to take on the roles and responsibility as a mother, which I really respected, because prior to that, me and Carol were very two different people. I. I wanted. I wanted success, I wanted to make money, I wanted to build my companies and she wanted to travel. And so those two beliefs and those two values didn't align. And so, like, we. I don't even know how we stuck together, but we stuck together. Maybe the sex was really great. Maybe, you know, we were really good and. And maybe we saw something each other that was clouded by, you know, all of this stuff. But we weren't meant to get married and have kids. But the moment we got married and have kids, we actually became aligned because we both valued family. Like, I valued family so much, and everything I do, I kind of, you know, I do. I try to be the best father and best. The best father, best role model for Atlas and Ocean, and that kind of becomes a cool thing. And she can see that. She respects my work because she knows that I'm trying to provide a better life for all of us. But whereas before, she couldn't respect my work because she just saw it as a prison. Like, if I. If, you know, I had this big office in Melbourne, 20 employees in it, and the more I built into it, the more she felt trapped because her values were freedom. And so as she became a mum and as we had kids, I respected her because I saw all the hard work that she was putting into raising our kids. I saw what a mum had to go through by giving birth, staying up all night, breastfeeding. Like, these are things that I go, wow, I could never do that I have such a newfound respect for you that I never had. And I think that's what brought us closer. And I think that's. That's really been the core of our relationship now. To go, hey, we. We. We do have an aligned division, and it's really, really fantastic. And I think, you know, seeing a lot of the men inside of the community, seeing that they don't have an aligned vision with their partner, I think that's the biggest reasons why there's so many divorces, why so many marriages split up, why there's not this. And it just starts with respect for each other. It's like, it's. We're both aligned. Me and Carrie are both aligned in a sense. She respects me producing and making money. So that our family can live a better life. We can travel, we can go on holidays. We get to go to. We get to have a nanny. Like Simple Pleasures. We get to eat organic meat. We get to feed our families. We get to go into the groceries and buy the good stuff. These are simple pleasures that we wouldn't have had if I didn't work my butt off. So she respects the work. At the same time, I also respect her as a mom. To go, holy shit, if, if, if I didn't work, she'd have to work. But at the moment, she gets to be a full time mom. She gets to stay at home, she gets to nurture the kids and have that patience. There's no responsibility. Just be the best mom and build that rock and that foundation for the family. I think that's so important and it's so important for us because we have less fights where we're just truly alone. We fight a lot less than we did when we were dating. Funnily enough, when you have kids, it's quite the opposite. And so I really think that I got lucky in that sense, that we came together and we didn't have our values aligned and then we found something to align us together.

It's something that I look back in my relationship with Karim, being with her for so long, I probably had the leverage because of the time we had together in history to work through a lot of the things that guys see with the marriage courses and relationship courses and the ways that we help fathers with their marriages and inside of relationships with their children, all that I had more time and more wiggle room to make mistakes, which I would say would be a valuable thing. And we were young, so I naturally had more energy. There's lots of different factors that have led to perhaps yourself, like you said, feeling lucky and me feeling like I was lucky with the time I had where she didn't walk out when she probably could have and should have. But why is the opposite so true, though, man? And that's where I'd love to get your thoughts. Like, what you shared is generally the opposite for so many men, where the marriage creates more stress because they, they don't have the time to stop and look up and breathe. They're not giving themselves the time alignment like you said. Like, so many guys would have listened to what you and been like, that's great, man, but I've got three kids down. I'm fucked. And it's like, well, there are probably a few key things, but I'm keen on your thoughts. Man. What are the core reasons why the opposite is unfortunately true for a lot?

Yeah. I want to share this from my experience and from what I've seen inside of HBF with the thousands of men that you've helped. I actually think, like, generally when people get into relationships, like, there's a couple of things. I think quite a lot about this and talk to Carrie a lot about this. Generally, when people get into relationships, they become boyfriend and girlfriend. They go out to parties, they go out to nightclubs. They have really good life. They go out to trips, they go to Mykonos, they go to Bali, and they have these really good trips, and they have friends and family. And then when they have kids, they. They literally have kids. And the kids feel like a restriction because they have this former life that they used to live that they are no longer able to live. Like, your parents that have kids generally think back to their past life. Oh, when I was single, I miss going out with you. I miss dancing in the clubs with you. I miss. And so what happens is they feel the sense of regret, of thinking, how do I get back to that past life? Not how do I live my best life with what I had with my children? I think I'm very lucky in that sense, because me and Carrie didn't party like she. When. Whenever we flew around, she'd come around to events that I was running all around the us, all around Europe. She'd run, fly around to my masterminds with us. And we never actually. We. Up until this day, we have never partied at a club, got drunk together. Okay, because we missed that whilst. Like, that was when I was building myself up and she was kind of, like, tagging along. So I think I'm very lucky because had I had that experience with her, the drinks, the parties, the nightclubs, I'd be like, honey, how do we get back to that? Because that used to be so fun. And so what. I. I think that's one of the reasons why I've been able to make this transition seamless. And I think a lot of people struggle to, because when they're dating, they go out, and the life they have now, they want to escape from and go back to the life that they had. But they can't do that because the kids are now there. I think the second part is coming down to misaligned values. Like, right now, when we think about it, me and Kerry talk a lot about our roles in the family. Like, what do we want for our kids? What do we want for our future? What role Do I play? What role does she play? What, what I think about it in terms of a company, and if we, as a company, as an organization is we're going to do extremely well. What, where are we trying to go together as a family? You know, what life do we want to live? What values do we want to have? And what roles does Carrie have to play? And what roles do I need to play? What role do I need to play to. To produce and provide so that we have the opportunity to do all of these things? And what role does Carrie have to play to create the foundation and the rock of the family so that the kids get the nurturing? Because there's something about female nurturing that I can't do, right? I can be with the kids, I can have fun with them. But when it, when it comes down to the nurturing side, the empathetic, the more patient, like Carry, hands down, is way better than me at being patient with children than I'll ever be. I'm pretty good as a man. I'm really, really good, but nowhere near what the level of a mother should be and could be. And so we're just really aligned on what we want as a family. And when we understand what we want, we then say, hey, Lynn, like, you have a role, you have a responsibility as a father, as a man. And so in that sense, I start to get permission from Kerry to work, right? So I, I think there's a thing where a lot of men aren't given permission to work harder. Then they feel like they're not allowed to work because they should be home. Or at least I felt that way anyway. Like you, your wife doesn't give you permission to work. She doesn't actually. She's not there supporting you to work. And the reasons why she's not supporting you is because you haven't figured out together with your wife how to create this partnership to go, hey, how is, how am I working? How is that a win for you and the family, right? And how are you being respected as a mother? Because as a mother, you literally give up your old, your whole self, your self identity. You give up your self worth to be there, to be there for the children. And I think when I look at what Kerry's been through, what she's doing, I don't think I could do that. I really don't think I could give up my whole entire self worth, my whole entire, my whole entire career to be able to be there with the kids. But I think there's something so special about women that they, they, they want to do that. They're fulfilled in doing that. Okay? And they're okay. And I just don't think. And I think the reasons why society is so fucked now is because women aren't respected or mothers aren't respected enough. There's not enough praise for being a stay at home mom to go, hey, that's the most important job in the world. I think husbands don't respect their mothers for doing that. And why would you want to do that if you're not respected? And it's the hardest fucking gig in the world. And it doesn't pay. Which is why families to me, in my perspective, become broken. Because now you have teachers, kindergarten teachers, childcare takers, nannies, raising the kids instead of the mothers.

Yeah, I've seen people where their kids are in daycare at 12 weeks old. Like it's. And whether it's through conditional society, people pushing on mothers, getting status by wearing a suit and trying to look fucking sexy for their boss like that. There are a lot of factors at play that just fucking attack women. And then the same token for us as men, husbands and fathers, like you said, what are we doing? And this is important, man. Like, you guys know we are on. When I say we're on your side, we're on the side of the. Let's let we start with the end in mind. Always. We want you to fucking win in your life. When dad's win, everyone win.

Great.

What does that fucking mean though? And when I look at this, I see so many times that we unfortunately make the assumption that because you're putting money in the bank account, that's what she wants. Instead of starting with the end in mind and finding out like Lynn did because of the money he makes, provides opportunity for travel for Kerry. What is their desired outcome? Just like a love language and then reverse engineering the desired outcome, which almost always in terms of freedom and choices and experiences anyway, at a higher level involves money to go. Fantastic. All right. My wife Corinne loves Hawai. What would need to be true for us to go to Hawaii with the family? It's our 10 year wedding anniversary. We've been together 20 years, but married for 10. What would need to be true for us to go to Hawaii business class next year and pay for both of our parents to come along with us and renew our vows? Fantastic. That's the picture I'm painting inside of her head with the desired outcome. She loves Hawaii. It's her favorite place. By W. Well, let's reverse the numbers. We're Looking at six figures to make that happen. Beautiful. Now she gives me permission, like what you've said, Lynn, to go out and fucking hunt and provide value in service and business. And that is at the core what you alignment. And the problem with a lot of people, I think, man, with especially ones of partying, drugs, and all these other forms of Pinocchio on the island becoming the donkey escapes, is the game changes with people in their life and they're not willing to adapt, which means they keep choosing fun or the memory of fun over fulfillment. Fun over fulfillment. And like you said, man, when Ocean was born, it rejuvenates life. Even if you're tired because you can't fucking sleep. I saw my children, man, I gotta tell you right now, like, and there's a few handful of very successful men who aren't fathers socially known in the world. Good for them. But you don't get it until you become a father. And when you do. I don't think I could have created HPF the way it was or High Performance man, if I wasn't a father. Because they rejuvenate you if you're aligned and you have the right perspective and things like what you spoke here. Having the right roles and complementing each other like a company is important. It's not that we have robotic relationships with our wives, but my wife will complement my weaknesses with her strengths. Yeah. And vice versa. And also, also too, like, I just.

Want to make it clear that none of this is. There is no perfect. There is literally do the best that you can every day. Like. And so I just want to reiterate that every day is difficult. And I know, I know this. I know that if I look after my wife, like, I'm. I'm there to look after her needs. I'm there to put her first, and she's there to put the kids first. Then at least we have a really good dynamic family dynamic. And I think that generally works for us. When I'm looking out for her needs, I kind of look at the big picture. If I. If I can draw this in, like, circles, I'm responsible for the very big circle, and then she's responsible for the very small circles. Now I'm responsible for her. And my job is to make sure that she's okay emotionally, physically, whether or not, you know, she. She's okay. She's. She's got somebody there to talk about her day and how hard it was there. She. She needs to know that she's taken care of. And I think that's the Big thing that a lot of men miss out on is that they, they, they don't see their wife as somebody to take, they don't feel the need to take care of their wife. Whereas I look at Carrie as, no, no, she's mine. I need to take care of her. And I know that when she's taken care of, she has the capacity to take care of the kids. I know that when the kids are taken care of, then we're all going to be taken care of because now we can actually have fun and jumping in and having fun with the kids. That's just play for me. Right? That's, that's play. That's fun. So I think generally that's how I look at this. Now. I know there's plenty of men that's going to be like, my wife's a bitch, you know, why don't you tell my wife? And I think it starts if somebody has to be, you know, the starter, it's kind of like the chicken or the egg, which one, which one was was born first when the chicken born or the egg. And it's, and the way I look at this is, you know, if you can begin to take full responsibility for what you can control and you go, okay, cool. If, if I, if I make my wife feel like I'm, I'm, I'm looking out for her best interest, I'm actually looking after and she's got the kids sorted, then as a family we can actually grow and, and, and, and bond at a further rate. Right? At a deeper level.

Yeah. 100 man. And a lot of you guys out there, you need to acknowledge that it's not the same like what you value as what you value in actions and outcomes might not be what she values. It's what we're talking about. We're getting alignment, you know, and love languages like, and the very simp always give is if you, if your wife wants to be heard or appreciated. It's not about always doing long slogs and the hard work. Write a post it note, you'll get a 10x return because she'll have to see it, pick it up, read it, feel it, think it, correlate your, your thoughts and your words into that feel that she can look at it later. And man, you've already moved that you're already hunting, you're at work, busy. So it's not about this big slog where it's like, I tried Al and you know, I didn't meet her needs or I didn't. It's like, yeah, but you don't even know. You haven't asked yet. Give me examples. You haven't, as silly as it sounds, pin down the facts that would need to be true for the feelings to follow through. And that's a big thing, man. Like what, what you're sharing. Because you're right, a lot of men will say that. And also a lot of men will think that, you know, it's. It's not my responsibility. It's like, well, we're not saying that, you know, your wife is a fucking child you need to raise. What we're saying is there are two clear, distinct levels of power in the masculine and feminine. And that's probably another. Another talk for another day. The fucking bullshit with this entire Alphabet agenda, which is fucking disgusting in my eyes, where it's like really identifying that the women inherently have a set of skills and strengths that we may have a portion of in, in this masculine and feminine ratio, but that is far in their favor where they dominate. And I think of it this way, man, this is a good example. Same with my team. Same with you. Which we work very well together in our sections because we are quite similar in two areas. High dominant, high influence. When you look at that in personality test and everything, my entire team of the day to day production, they're all the opposite. Same with my wife. I look at them like I'm the tunnel borer and I go fucking all in, balls deep, hunting and drilling for the diamonds. My wife, like, said, big circle, small circle. This is another analogy for guys to think of. She's coming in behind and after me, putting up all the framework so the tunnel doesn't collapse and we can pull the fucking diamonds out. Now, without me, she gets no diamonds. Without her, we don't get out alive. So because of her stability in what she's done for the children, Lynn, it's given me the opportunity and you know, my history, man, and how much I was in the pit and how much it was in and out of the pit for years, man. The only reason I could do that was the stability and framework provided by yourself from a business perspective and professional level. And for my wife, from a home, nurturing and loving perspective and level, the end. If she had a business and I had a business at the same time, we wouldn't even be doing this podcast, man.

Yeah, yeah. Alignment's so important and, and just going back to that, I think for a lot of men out there, they're going to be like, well, my wife, you know, it sounds all good for You. Right. I think the very first thing is having a conversation with your wife and going, okay, well, what are we doing with our family? Are you committed to me? Are you still committed to me?

Right.

Just because you're married to me, it doesn't mean you're committed to me. I think there's a difference between marriage and commitment. And I think the idea that, you know, me and Kerry just take marriage one year at a time where we're kind of like, we just, it's like a, it's like a teltra contract. You sign it for one year where we're married for this year and we get to choose whether or not we stay married. And I think having that thought actually allows us to really proactively think and deliberately think about how we treat each other. Whereas I think a lot of people get into marriage and they become entitled. But you're married to me, so we have to do this. You're married to me, so you have to do this to me. You're married to me, so you're going to love me for who I am. And it's like, no, but I, I married this guy, you know, I didn't marry this current man. I married this guy that was good looking, he was smart, he was, he was proactive. He, he had a lot of potential, he had a career going. But I didn't marry this guy that most men become five years down the track. Later on they grow a pot belly, they let go of themselves, they say, shit's too hard that she didn't marry this guy. And, and vice versa too. So I think for a lot of men, the first question or the first piece of advice, if I could share any, would be to actually have a, have a talk with your wife to go, hey, are you still committed to me? I'm still committed to you. Or figure out whether or not you're still committed to your wife, whether or not you want to be with her, whether or not you want to make it work. And the answer is, do you want to make it work? Yes or no. There's no buts. There's no no, there's yes. But then that's not. It's simply yes. Because generally what needs to happen, and this is the same thing in business, is you have to be willing to do whatever it takes. You have to get to the outcome and not get to the outcome if something happens or if conditions are right. Okay? And generally what happens is men put in work and then they stop because they didn't get a response. And it's like if you're committed to a person, you simply just put in work. You just do it every day. It's like every day you wake up and shower, right? Why do you just wake up and shower? It just becomes part of your life. And I think if men start doing that, and before you do that, just ask yourself this question. Are you committed to her and she committed to you, and are you committed to making this work? If not, if you're not committed, then you might as well just break it up now and you might as well go, hey, like this isn't working. We're both not committed to each other, therefore there's no point of coming and trying to build something good together because we just know that it's not going to work. Look, there's going to be friction. I think once that happens, I think it's a man's responsibility and a man's duty to protect his wife. She needs to feel protected, she needs to feel loved, she needs to feel respected. Because as the wife, especially as a supporting wife that doesn't have a job, us men, for businessmen, we get a lot of, a lot of significance out of our business because a lot of people listen to us. We, we are loved, we are praised, we have employees, we are making money, we're getting our highs, our needs met, quite a lot of time inside of business. But as our wife, you know, they've got children to look after. They don't get this right, they spend all day looking after children, they sit at home cooking food, they clean up shit, they get abused by the kids, they don't get respected or appreciated. And then when their husbands don't come home and we don't respect them even further, why would they want to be a stay at home wife? Why would they not, why would they not want to go out and build an empire and become a boss lady like every other woman's starting to become? Well, we know that if Corinne was a boss lady, Kerry was a boss, we wouldn't have our family the way it is. I would not have two beautiful kids. I'd have two beautiful kids raised by other people other than Kerry and myself. So I think ultimately at the end of the day, it's deciding, you know, do you still want this marriage together and recommitting and going, hey, like, are you committed to your wife and doing whatever it takes? Because I guarantee you, if you're committed to your wife and doing whatever it takes, it might not work the first week, the second week, the first month, but I guarantee you it will work. Eventually, she will see so much commitment from you that she will start to be recommitted to you. Because she's like, holy crap, this guy's just doing so much for me. And I can't believe he did all this. And I think quite along the way, most. Most men need tips and tricks and little hand gestures like that because they're looking for a tactical. They're looking for a tactical reason to do something, but they're not. They don't really have their heart and soul into it. And women know, like, women are not stupid creatures.

They.

Absolutely not. So you can write a hand note to your wife every day, but if your heart and soul isn't in it, she'll never. I think, you know, a couple of years ago, I think four or five years ago, I had a mentor, Garrett J. White. I did Warrior. And one of the things that I needed to do every day was to write her a handwritten note or a message. And every day I'd write a message just to tick it off, right? And she wouldn't read it because she knew that my heart wasn't in it. And even though I was ticking all the off, I was writing the notes, I was writing love messages, I was writing the emails. I was just writing, hey. And I really like writing this. She's like, yeah, but it doesn't mean anything because there's a level of. There's a level of intuition that women have that men don't have. I think men are. I think men are quite dumb. There's two things that men want. There's a saying, actually, and I read this somewhere, and it made complete sense. Men want power and pussy, and women want everything. Okay, so men, Men, literally, we have these two things.

How do we.

How do we gain more power and how do we get. And that's it. Like, men are that stupid that if we can, we can become more strong, more powerful, and we get pussy. The men and women, they want everything. Well, they want all their needs, but they want. They want to have kids. And maybe they want. They want two kids today, but then tomorrow Carrie wants a third. And then maybe Carrie wants to settle down today, but then tomorrow she wants to move over to the Gold coast where it's nice and sunny, and she wants to move away from Melbourne and maybe today. And so when you understand that dynamic, and if you can accept that, then you can take action and anticipate what's going to happen. And I think, because men don't accept women, and they don't accept that Truth about women. And women don't accept men for that truth. Hey, my man wants to be powerful. Like, he does want to be powerful. And, and so a lot of women suppress that man from becoming powerful.

Right.

You get a lot of pussy with husbands because women don't want to accept that truth. That men do want to be powerful and they also want sex and they want pussy and they want to feel wanted from, from their womb. Those two P's are just simply what men want. And generally what you and I do every day is to get either one or both of those things. So if we look at this, Alex, it's simply coming back down. For men, it's simply asking yourself, are you committed? And if you're not committed, then get out. Either make a commitment to discommit, to divorce, to leave, or go all in. And I think most 90 of the people just stay in it until one of them gets so sick of it that they end up creating divorce, they end up cheating, they end up doing something stupid. Because both the parties that are involved in the relationship have no balls, have no courage. Because the fear, there's too much fear on either side. Like, if I commit and if I put everything into a what if it doesn't work out? Yeah. And then on the other side it's, if I leave, well, like, what if I'm more lonely than with my kids right now? There's, there's too much fear. So most people don't do anything. And so they never end. And so they just, their marriage sucks, their life sucks, they're unhappy, they're complaining, and they can't see the other side. I think most people, if you can take ownership and commit either way, you have to do one or the other. Like, I don't. I don't also believe that all people should stay married, by the way. I think people who have values that are not aligned should not stay married because it's, it's a cause for chaos. And for the people that don't know what their values are, it's really important that you get, you get aligned. Like, hey, I'll be producing, I'll be working. What would you like? What would your dream year look like? What could I do? Do we need you to stay at home? Do we need a nanny for you? Do we need a cleaner? Would you, like, where would your dream holiday be once a year? If I could get you a dream home, what would that look like? Okay, what would your dream house look like? Do you have a car? What are all the needs that your wife wants that, you know, you have to do as a producer in order to meet that. So she respects why you're hunting and producing, right? And then on the flip side, you now have permission to produce because you've asked them, what does this perfect year look like? Well, what does she need in order for her to build a loving and a nurturing family, for her to be the rock of the family, for her to look after you? Because now that you're asking what her needs are and what she actually desires, you actually then have to have the courage to go out there and make something of yourself. And I think that's a different conversation of the day. I think that's, you know, that's. That's then becoming the warrior inside of business and going out to hunt businesses. Just do things, get more customers and keep the customers happy so that you get more customers. You keep customers happy, you'll get more car. There's literally two things. So, yeah.

It'S vision, alignment. It takes time, too, gentlemen. Like, everything Lynn's saying, like it. But life is work, right? Like, either way, you got to do work. You've got to do the work. You know, what kind of. What's the alternative? You know? And I think what you're explaining, mate, for a lot of you men, is really helping you break down current belief systems and rebuild a different set of belief systems in yourself to apply a fundamental philosophy which is all in on life, not just business. The three things, if you go all in, in family, self and service. And for me, that's. That's almost like a law now, Lynn, it's like my container where I'm like. And you know how hard I'll push in business. But I do that with the awareness and at the forefront of making sure I have the other two sorted as well. And it's a tough thing to juggle, but it's absolutely possible. But a lot of people, as I've written here, they don't go all in, which means they're waiting. But here's the truth, gentlemen. You don't find opportunities. You create them. You don't go, there's the path. I'll walk it. You're already walking, and you need to lay the fucking pavers as you're walking. That's what makes it tough. That's why you need, like what Lynn was saying. You need to have that courage. Because a lot of men were like, well, I'm not taking another step until there's a brick laid down. The terrain's uneven. Is it? Get the fucking brick and lay it then like it's. It's really tough, man. When I see a lot of men who, who really want the answers, but they, but they're lying to themselves because they're not willing to do what's necessary to get the answers. And it takes time, you know, but it takes time to build muscle. It takes the years to build businesses. It. When my marriage broke down in 2017 with Corinne took me. When I look back, we thought we were good. 12 months later, man, it took like two and a half years. It wasn't until probably just before we found out she was pregnant with Roman that we're in, which was then. There's another curveball, right? Life. Because we did IVF for our first tour. We were done. So we were in a great place back end of 2019, selling the gym, getting out, going all in with. With Lynn and what we're doing in the online space with hpf and. And then we, we got that surprise. But it wasn't. It took. It took a couple of years, gentlemen. You know, and that's the thing. It will take time. A lot of you will do work and you're doing all this work but not getting a return depending on what you've done. It's going to take time to build, to create uncertainty in her certainty that you're just going to go back to the old version. You're just going to be. You need to make. You need to create certainty through your actions and what you're doing to then paint a history of facts that can then create uncertainty in her views that you won't change, things won't improve. And that's something where, like Lyn was saying, chicken or eggman. If no one takes the fucking step, nothing will happen. But the question I love asking some men, because you're right about marriage and divorce is okay when. And men should ask their wives this question too, of each other. When the children grow up and move out of home, what's keeping us together? And I bet you they couldn't fucking answer that question, man. And that's where right now, like, not just because it's convenient to stay together, because then who you're really hurting is your children. Even when they're adults, they're going to have trauma. Looking back going, my entire upbringing was a fucking sham. You guys didn't even love each other. My entire childhood was, was fake. It was a joke. That's why you need to do that now. Alignment and clarity and create an understanding of where you are. And it's not going to be a straight. This is me. They are perfect. We're a great fit. There is no perfect. But it's navigating the waters now, not waiting. And then. Yeah, and that's our part, isn't it, bro? Looking and seeing that the ones who suffer the most out of all this is our children.

Yeah, I. I agree. I think. And. And for a lot of men that are stuck, here's one piece of advice. If you want to take action from what we've talked about, you. You don't immediately get. Because a lot of men will take this. They'll get supermode. I know that. I did. And this. Here's the. Here's the stupid, dumb. I used to do. Like, I would listen to something on the podcast. I'd be like, all right, cool. I'm going to execute it right away. I quickly send Carrie a message going, hey, hey, this is what we're going to do next. Without giving her the context and the belief behind why I'm doing it. So I think for a lot of men, if. If you want to take action, I think the first step is to send this podcast to your wife and actually go, hey, like, what do you think of this? Let her listen to it. Let us soak into it. What do you think of this? Is this something that you think we can do and get her involved? Because quite often, and here's the irony, men want to take action and find solutions. Women just want to be hurt. And so by actually sending this podcast to her, you're actually allowing her to be heard. What are your thoughts? Do you think this is a good idea? Is this a good step? Should we sit down? You're asking her these questions. You're creating Inception and actually allowing her to be heard. And then from there, you can actually take action you don't want to take. Like, we talk a lot about taking action, but with your wife, it's actually quite the opposite, is you should take less action and actually send to listen and hear more from what she wants. So I think a great first step is send this podcast to her. Hey, got this Asian, right? Got this Asian and this. This Aussie guy talking. But they, they. They're talking, you know, some sort of a sense, right? What do you think? I heard this. And, and is this true? Is this. Is this what you want as a mum? Like, you'd love to stay, you'd love to look after the kids, but you don't feel like I'm producing enough or you don't feel I'm appreciative enough or respective enough of you. And therefore you. You have to go to work because you're afraid that I can't produce because I'm not being the man. Yeah, a lot of women feel like they have to go to work because they're scared that their husbands can't produce. And so the women have to look after the kids. They have to make sure their kids don't, don't, don't die, don't go hungry. I think the second thing is then there's this allure to also be this boss baby. Oh, sorry, this. This boss babe.

Not baby.

I've been saying boss baby Atlas for so long. But this, this boss babe, right? This really cool chick that, like, has it all. She's entrepreneurial, she's building her business. But what you got to understand about these boss babes is that they're so inside of their masculine that they've actually lost that fulfillment and that nurturing side which makes mothers mothers, which is like, hey, you simply just want to be a mom and you switch on that masculine side. Now they're hunting and now they're disconnected. They're not happy as well. I guarantee you that. A lot of boss babes that are mums go through this thing where they feel guilty for not spending enough time with their kid, but at the same time, they feel guilty for not working hard enough. So they get stuck in no man's life because they're not. They're not doing neither. Or they know they should be nurturing. They notice that they should be spending time with their kids, but now they can't because they can't be present because they're thinking about being a boss man, right? So they don't have the patience. So at home, nobody's got patience for the kids because men don't. Men just don't have as good patience and nurturing as women and mothers. And so no one's patient with the kids. There's more yelling, there's more screaming. There's. There's just more volatility and chaos in the household because the kids aren't getting the attention that they need from their parents. So I think a great first step is to send this and go, hey, babe, listen to. I listen to something. I thought it was useful. Like, don't do what I would do, which is, hey, mate, we're going to do an alignment session tonight. Like, I need to know if you're committed to me. Like, because I would have done that shit how I did that. I did that with Karen. She's like what, where the discomfort, what is this? We, us, men, spring up too quickly, and that's, that's how, that's how we go wrong. So if we have to think strategically about this, send this podcast, get it to listen to it and go, hey, do you think that this could work for us? Do you think, like, are these two guys, like, on the spot where they feel like, you can't be, you're not respected enough as a mother, you don't feel heard, you don't feel listened, you don't feel secure, and so I'm not doing my bit, and therefore you can't do your bit. Do you think we could work on our family dynamics? Would this work? And so by, not by, by no means. I, I'm no relationship expert, but I, what I do know is I've, I've done a lot and I have a great relationship with Karen and, and it works. And I have great children that I, I, I love and they're great kids. But, you know, there's also one other thing. Like, me and Carrie have this one saying we're one argument away from divorce. And so, you know, we're, when one argument away from opening the cracks that will allow us. And once you open a crack, you can, that cracks open. You can't ever unforce. It takes a long time to close that, that crack. So we choose very carefully whether or not we're going to have some space, some time away, or whether or not we're going to go head to head in an argument. Okay. And so I think that we live by these mantras where we're married one year at a time and we're one argument away from divorce, which allows us to actually know the risk and to, to, to decide, hey, is our ego getting in the way? Are we going to argue for our ego or are we aligned to this vision of what our family wants to aspire to be? I also know that when I argue with Kerry, I'm not productive with work. So, like, out of my interest, if I want to be productive with work, like, I can't work if me and Kerry are not fixed. I think a lot of men can't. Like, if something's settling it, you, you are not fully there, you're not fully present. But I think men can work when they have the support of their wives to give them the green light. All clear. Go work, go produce honey, and they come home, be celebrated together. I think that's the dream. And there's just iterations of this. There's, there's Imperfect steps to get to this point.

Yeah, agreed. And there's the mess. There's the mess of life and history. And as we wrap this up, gentlemen, I hope you boys have really enjoyed this and hopefully your wives as well when they listen to this too. To understand that we want to create stability and structure inside of the family nucleus. And it's not. I hate when we get words in terms get thrown around a traditional man or traditional woman, like, times are always changing. But what are the core fundamental at an energetic expression. Don't worry about words and terminology. An energetic expression. What creates the yin and the yang and what brings this together? What makes the family in your life whole? And you know, a couple of key points as we wrap this up on what Lyn was sharing, then you may not have the track record where there is trust. So share this podcast, because what you can then do is immerse her inside of a message that you align with that isn't coming from your voice. So it creates that ability where almost from a third person perspective, you're providing opportunity instead of, hey, what about this? Hey, whose fucking method? Walls are up. So it's about really opening up that conversation and dialogue in a softer level where I'm not saying women are children, but like, children just want to be heard. It's got to be a layered approach. Perfect example will be bath time with the kids. I don't just say, right, get up, get out of the bar. It's like sticker shock, man. Like, oh, hang on, let's go. I'm just playing here with my little boat and my little mermaids and five minute warning, three minute warning. I give them about five one minute warnings and building them into understanding that there is a next step or a process that is an opportunity. And for them, it's getting out, drying themselves and bedtime stories. For your wife, it's seeing a different light. To understand that just like us men, women are going through their own shit in battles where they don't even have the perspective or awareness of some of the things that you might be going through. Maybe because you don't share them, maybe because you need to be strong, maybe because you're not sure how to articulate it. So there could be traumas they don't know that's happening right now. And this creates that dialogue. And an opener, that was an important thing and probably the other thing too. Lyn, as a side note for the men and their wives watching this on the replay, please understand, gentlemen, like, we're in the year 2023. Now, which means this sort of movement of started probably in the 70s, 80s, but really sort of kicked on in the 90s and early 2000s of women being attractive through working in a cubicle within a suit, crunching numbers, so to speak. And I'm not here to take away women who want to be professional, but please understand that means We've got 30 years, right? The amount of videos I'm starting to see, Lynn is fucking insane. Out there on social media of old women who have money and they're lonely as no one loves them, no one sees them. They're in their 50s and 60s, some in their early 70s now, which are the ones who obviously pushed hard in the 80s and 90s. Here are these women and they're all saying the same message. Women enjoy motherhood. It's the greatest gift on this world. No one can ever do it except you. Being a mother is the number one. It's the most. I'm getting goosebumps, man. It's the most valuable thing you can do. And a perfect thing is looking at like my nonna just before she passed and seeing this one woman who is responsible for 90 people at her party. Like that one woman is the entire reason why HPF exists. That's the gift, man. And it might be delayed for a mother or it could be because of the chaos day to day with children, but that's the gift where these old women with money who are lonely now and no one loves them. I wish I didn't do that. It doesn't mean anything. I'm getting replaced because now I'm in my 50s and there's a 26 year old man who can do it quicker and better and fast. Like all of these stories I'm saying now. Yeah, it's fucking sad man, because then.

It'S too late 100%. And there's a couple of reasons why women don't want to be mothers anymore. There's. There's no self respect. Like there's no, there's no self respect and there's no respect from their husbands and there's no respect from anybody. They don't get respected to be moms. The kids don't respect them. Right? Kids, kids don't appreciate like that. That's what kids are. The husband also doesn't respect them. And then they painted a picture on social media of how they should be more successful, how they should have a side hustle, how they should be being entrepreneurial and all these other things. Which is why, why would anybody want to do that job? The Hardest job in the world. And I think the first thing as men is that we can look at this and go, hey, like, we need to. We need to increase our level of respect for. For parenting, for mother. The mother and the child and the rock and the foundation. I think if we do that, if you genuinely do that, you. I know. And you know how spending a day, two days without kids is the. Is probably one of the most exhausting things. And if I had to spend time with my kids, okay, if I had to spend time with my kids or be in the business, I would choose being in the business because that's easier for me. And I think it's easier for most men, which is why they escape to that. But not having the respect for the mother is. Is a critical mistake that we all make for our wives. And so I think it starts with that, and I also think it starts with the alignment. Now, I'm not saying that all women should literally just stay at home and not have any careers. I'm saying all women should be mothers first and then have their side hustle second. And it shouldn't be a side hustle where there's a lot of responsibility on to produce. There's like side hustle simply because, hey, I just wanted to do this for art. I just wanted to write. I wanted to write a book. Sure, sure thing. Like, Kerry wants to do stuff as a side hustle and. But. But it's more of an artistic thing to get to. To get the feel of that. Not a responsibility thing to produce and make the money to keep our family alive. I think that's the difference. So don't feel as though I'm saying no, women shouldn't work. They should literally be at home. No, no. Women should be mothers as their primary thing. And they should explore all these different things because, remember, women want everything. Women want everything, and it's okay because that's just how women work.

Agreed, ma'. Am. An equal opposite on that, gentlemen, this is where it's not a burden or throwing stones at any of you either. It's about really exploring what you can do in your own power through building, developing, investing in yourself. Like we always talk about, to be operating at 100%. So you do create opportunities financially, physically, mentally, emotionally, with your family connected with your. It's possible, man. Like, it's not an impossible thing. It's something I'm living and breathing. It's a high performance father Lynn is, and the men on the inside. And that's. I don't know, like, you don't have to align with that. This is a choice you don't have. It's not a you're with us or against. This is like, hey, this is something that is real. Here are all the benefits and fulfillment and the rewards in life as a who. Um, it's a choice, though, because when we look at the numbers, majority of people are fucking average. They don't want to do anything. That's cool. This probably isn't for you, but I think it's just a great way to understand that it is possible, though.

Yeah, well, contextually, I think if you think about the average dad, the average dad is overweight. The average family spends what, 30 minutes a day actually talking or connecting to each other. There's that. I think you put out that statistic. And so just to not be average means that you actually have a conversation with your wife. You actually connect you. I say, hey, like, how was your day? How was my day? Here's what I went up to. Here's what you went up to. Oh, cool. Hey, like, are you actually connecting? Can you actually sit down with your wife instead of watching TV and actually just have a conversation with them? Do you connect with your kids? Like, that's just being on average, right? Because the average family, the average father does not have this. The average father is not fit. So if you want to be high performing well, just, just start working out, eating better. Those are two things. And we're not asking you to be perfect, but we're just asking you to give yourself the best shot up at having a better life for yourself and your family. And how you do that is what you've got to look after yourself first. And then you've got to learn how to connect and align with your wife. And then when the kids are taken care of, they're actually getting more love, they have more patience around them. You don't have to snap. And, and it just, it's, it's a winning spiral where you can actually have fun and you can joke around and you can be playful and they, they don't see you as this daunting person that's coming in to be all strict and serious because they know that got, they've got the patience from the mom and they've got the playfulness from the dad. And that dynamic actually works extremely well. I think these are principles that we carry forward, you know, regardless of when Ocean turns, you know, 10, 20, 30, we're gonna have, of course, different problems and obstacles. She's going to start dating boys. I'm not Going to like that. I'm going to need to figure out how to deal with that. Me and Kerry are going to need to sit down and we're going to need to talk. Talk about that conversation on who she's allowed to date and how we address that. These we're going to have. But I think if we talk around the principles, which is, are we all aligned? Do we want to have patience, do we want to communicate, then all, all these things, regardless of the problems, are just great principles to adapt and adopt inside of, you know, your family life.

Absolutely. Absolutely awesome stuff. Yeah, man. We're not saying you can buy your way out of your relationship problems with money and then fix everything. It's about looking at average and understanding that because of the standards today. It's so easy, man, to be above average, like Lynn just shared then it's actually really easy. It's. It's incredibly easy to just take a couple of simple steps to move forward and then start to create new pathways. Because when you start laying the pavers in the path and you've done it, that means you can then assist in being that guide to your wife because she will and may need help in certain areas, or your children, because you've done it and it comes from a place of proven history and support and it's genuine, like I said, not tactics and tricks, because they pick up on that.

Yeah, well, I was going to say you can, you can buy your way up. If, if you're a man that has not spent on his wife or splurge on your wife because you're a tight ass, she would actually appreciate you buying shit for her because you, that's the thing that she's never gotten from you. However, if you keep buying her gifts, but she will, she'll expect the other thing, which is everything, women want everything. So she doesn't want more gifts from you because that means nothing. She actually wants more attention. She wants more of your time because you, you so happen to be so busy working on the business that you haven't actually given her time. So if you actually just spend time with her, she'll be like, oh, my God, I haven't had this. And I know your time's so valuable because I've never had any of it and she'll love it. So I think for. If you haven't spent any money on your wife, and I think there's a good portion of men that don't, because you get married and you literally, like, become a tight ass because everything's. It's hectic. Right. You have the bills paid, you've got the mortgage, interest rates are going up, shit's getting tight. And so you tighten up. I think it's a great thing to spend on your wife and to show her, hey, I know we've got going on, but you are important and I'm willing to invest this money in you. And I know that you wouldn't give this to yourself because women generally don't. They don't put themselves first. They put their kids first. It's actually you putting them themselves first. I think that's a really important point. But if you're like 10 of men that keep buying gifts and you know, you need to invest the emotion, so it's, it's do the opposite of what you're currently investing.

Yeah, definitely. And it's seasonal, gentlemen. Like, it's. That's probably a good segue into the four hour CEO. A phenomenal thing in the background. We've run for 12 months now and which we're opening up to, to get men in business time back. We'll save that little golden nugget. Yeah, that's doing amazing. But, but you're right with it. Yeah.

If, if you like this podcast and you want us to kind of dissect a little bit more, let us know. Comment down below. Let us know. Hey, this was useful. It's. It's kind of good having contrast. I'm very different to Alex as well. We come from different backgrounds. I can give an Asian perspective. An Asian Australian today, he'll give the white guy perspective, which is great. Okay. But it's this, this fundamental principle is how do we, how do we become successful? Like, how do we achieve more and do more and actually bring our families along with us? Like, how do we become super successful and not get divorced, right? Not. Not be lonely in the end? How do we bring our family with us so that. And be supported along the way so that we can be fulfilled? I think that's the journey. That's what HBF is about. That's like, you know, I would hate to be super sick and have a lot of money and I get. And not see my kids and lose that connection with them because, you know, there's just so much love in the family when it's set up. Right. But I think that should be our segue. I would let the guys comment down below and say, hey, did they get value of this? Would they like to cover more topics, ask questions. Hey, what if I've got a crazy, crazy, absolutely crazy narcissistic wife that does this, whatever it is, throw us, throw us everything. And I'm more than happy to have a look and we can discuss in the background what we do with this.

Absolutely. Awareness is the biggest thing, gentlemen. That'll move you through to finding, exploring answers that will come from questions. Listening to this. Even you sharing what you said. Lynn obviously working pretty hard lately, which means helping Kryn and booking in a massage. Getting massage booked in for her. She didn't have to think at 4 o'.

Clock. Mother's Day. It's Mother's Day soon.

Boys like that, you just, just. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it really does work. When they want certain things that have been lacking and you give them that, that time or what they need. 100. So hope you always enjoy this. I really enjoyed it. Any final thoughts or final thoughts?

Is. As gentlemen, I can tell you this. Having a family that's. And now that I've experienced having a family where your kids love you, your wife adores you and she respects you and you respect her is the most fulfilling thing. And it's the only thing that matters. Because at the end of the day, you and I will pass away from this earth. We won't be remembered. Nobody will remember my name or your name. And I think along the way, it's what makes the journey fulfilling. And every day all you have is your wife and your children. That's all you have. They're literally like your team, your crew. And if you're not making the best, I think there's a lot that you're missing out on that you don't even know. And it's right there for you to uncover. And I think. But, you know, part of it's kind of like, I just wish, me and Kerry just wish, like, hey, we wish that families just have this. We wish that families argue less than. We wish that families respect each other more. We wish that families can work together as a unit, as a team. A man's role, women's role. And I just wish, you know, more people had great, greater raised kids because the mother's there and the father's there. That's my final thought.

Yeah. Love them, man. I've always enjoyed this. Like we said, share this, share this with your wife or even comment and tag some of your friends, some of your mates who you might think need to hear this and open up this, this conversation, create a dialogue with yourself inside of yourself, getting some thinking time with your wife. Suggestion, immersing her. And also any questions, anything else you want us to cover. Make sure you post and comment below and we'll roll it on the next episode. Beautiful. Bye.

Bye, everybody.

Cheers, guys.

Well, that wraps up another episode. And just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you. And then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart, and there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes four or five times and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. And also, if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You listen to it, write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak them, believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you can remember. And make sure sure you consistently learn and relearn what is it's true and what is it is important to you in your heart. Take care, have an amazing day night, weekday weekend and I'll see you for another one soon.

Cheers.