22. Creating Space?

So please understand. And I, when I'm talking about creating space, I'm not talking about creating space in my stomach for the next meal because that was certainly a large period of my life. Well, when I say a large period, it still is, but it's a little bit different now. I'm not that little overweight boy anymore, that's for sure. But I probably ate just as much. No, probably. Actually, I ate more back then. I will put my hand up for that. Certainly drank more cordial. Actually, I don't have any cordial now. Dad jokes. All right, here we are. What have we got? What does the pirate say at his 80th birthday? Ay, matey. I can't even look at the camera. He's watching this on YouTube. I'm sorry, cracker. Welcome, boys and girls, to another episode of Real Dad Movement podcast. Here we go, another one. Creating space. What does creating space actually mean? It's something that I was in tune with. Call it meditation, call it whatever you want, but it's a good term that my coach Lyn used when I first came on board under his tutelage. And I really like it. It's such a simple thing. I'm not going to try and recreate it or come up with some new fancy term. It is exactly that. Creating space from the external environment to then harness and focus on the internal environment. That's what this is about. We're really focusing on the internal environment because the reality is, your reality is a collective of the external environments that you experience based off A, how you see it and B, what's going on on the inside. And this really rings true with me, guys, when I talk about, and I'll bring up a little story about when I was playing football and 2008 was a tough year for me. I just moved away from home and signed with the Dragons. Very tough period of my life. Finding my feet on my own, having issues. That was, for me was a long distance relationship. Wouldn't you know it? And it was just a tough period. It really was. You know, I had the Penrith Panthers, all the boys there were great. They took me under their wing. I was like the little brother of all the other the big fellas in first grade there. And I was heading into the unknown. Didn't know anyone down at the Dragons. And look, you know, obviously over time made. Made some friends and mates, but to earn my stripes and all sorts of things and it wasn't an overly pleasant experience for me. That preseason was tough and it was really hard. I felt Isolated and alone. I didn't go out for coffees and do all the other things the fellas did. I just knuckled down, did my work and rinse and Repeat. Now in 2008, my first grade trial against the Bulldogs, I got a nice little hospital pass and my knee got snapped in half and the contact wasn't even that bad. That was the frustrating part. Didn't really get crunched in the tackle, just twisted awkwardly and caught the ball last minute and that's all she wrote. Carried off the field and onto the next one. And within a month I actually had a shoulder reconstruction as well because there was an issue going on. My shoulder was always having a little bit of impingement and pain. So 2008 was a tough period for me, guys, because I didn't really sleep at all. So it warmed me up for fatherhood nine years earlier. But unfortunately I forgot all that and got some good sleep again in between. It was really hard. It was really hard. Like I had my leg up in a cast or, you know, my leg up bandaged and full knee reconstruction on the right left shoulder fully reconstructed. So I'm sitting back going in a little two bedroom unit on my own. I went back as much as I could with mum and dad to try and get some assistance and support. But it was a very tough period for me and I found that the greatest thing that I did was I found ways to creatively create space. I wasn't just playing PlayStation or doing other things or, you know, looking at all the, all the standard stuff that would have ultimately led me being, going insane and being that poor mindset. I was utilizing and using the senses, touch, taste, sight, smell, sound. We got them all. There might be a sixth one, but look, I used all of those to help myself create space. And in doing that allowed me to really fortify the inside, to really reframe and restructure the internal. Because that was under some traumatic stress at the time. It was like, what are you going to do? You know, because this unit that you've bought and you've got mortgages to pay and obviously you're not going to be playing footy, so your income isn't going to be there as much because when you play games you obviously get a heap load more money. I think it's like two to four grand a game and that's something that I obviously didn't bank on, but it's obviously an opportunity that I wanted and that's completely gone now. And there were these things going through my head that's what was happening. The inside was killing me. It was crushing me. And that level of resilience has always been there since I was that little fat boy. And I started to break through and break free from listening and convincing myself of the old stories that were in place. Like, when my knee was done, I was like, that's it, I'm done. I'm shattered. Everything's gone. I've heard of knee reconstructions before and this is going to kill me. It's horrific. And it was tough. Look, I'm getting wheeled into the hospital. It's always cold in there. They take you into that middle room before you go into the main room. They give you the. The cannula. I was going to say catheter, then didn't have that, thank God. They give you the cannula, start administering the anesthetic. And it's not a nice environment to be in, and it's a scary one for me. And I had an operation before I broke my jaw and had a couple operations to sort that out. That was a tough one. Talk about creating space there. Going insane. I couldn't eat food for 12 weeks. Got mum to blend up hot dogs and steaks and pizzas and everything just to see what food tasted like. You can only have so many protein shakes and so much Metamucil before you go insane. But it was really hard because, like, I do all this again. I've just moved Wollongong. That's a year gone, Year gone. Will I bounce back? And then, obviously, Brandy moved on. A new coach was coming in as well. So earn my stripes again. And it was really, really tough. And then going in again a month later with the shoulder. Here we go. Get my shoulder sliced open up in a sling, all groggy and drugged up. And you wake up, you don't know what you're doing, where you are, you're feeling sick. And all they have is some sandwiches and cookies there for you, which obviously I ate. No judgment, please. And these were tough moments. And the only way, when I look back now, that I broke through those tough moments was by creating space, going inside in either a nostalgic sense, whether I'm remembering and reflecting back on, like, dad telling me, and Mum and Dad saying, you can do anything you want now. If you believe in yourself, you can make it. You can always come back. All these different areas of my life where I proved it to myself I could do it. I proved that I was a winner. I showed myself that I could break free and break through the adversities. That I faced at that time in my life. And that's what was driving me. It's funny because I look back at that now, and to be honest, if I went through those injuries right now, I feel like I'd fall apart. Had nine operations over six years. It was horrible. It was. It's a horrible, horrible six years of my life. You give it to me now. I've got kids, I'm a bit old, a little bit more worn out, so to speak, and, like, please keep it. But I am so much stronger because of that. And I look back at those moments and I didn't think too much of them. Being young, hungry, chasing the carrot, wanted all the fame and glory. And those, Those were some superficial things that obviously kept me focused. Of course, we all have them. But it was that inner drive, that inner desire to really break through and not let something ever hold me down. Never, never retreat or retract. The greatest moments when I've felt out of balance, out of whack with life in general is when I wasn't expanding or growing, which was what I was touching on one of my other episodes. It was when I felt like I wasn't being better and becoming more within myself. But creating space was such a powerful thing, guys. And it is. It truly is. And finding ways to just really go inside and realign, recalibrate and. And ask yourself those questions like, who am I? And then who do I want to be? Who do I want to be in this life? Not just this present moment, but the next one? And why is that important? Why do I want that? What's the purpose? What's the point? What does that look like? So visualizing, when I break free, I get the knee going again. I'm running again, my arm's good, I can start tackling again. And how do I get there? This is the systematic stuff. And that's where you can really separate facts and feelings. And you can look at the facts and go, okay, what. What needs to be true for this outcome to be achieved? Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Awesome. Let's get after it. Let's do it. Let's take action. And yes, doesn't matter how I feel at times, what I do, that will define me, and that's the importance here. But you get that reward, and it's not about that instant gratification. Get that reward for the hard work you put in to come back and have that comeback power we all need. That diversity has never stopped. Now fast forward X amount of years. What's it been? 11 years now since I had those two operations in the one hit. Well, actually had three operations that year, because the end of that year, I think I had a scope as well. 2008 was a horrible year and one of the greatest ever because it's forged me into who I am today. That's where I really place a huge emphasis on creating space for yourself and using those senses. Think about your life right now. What irritates you the most? What pulls you down? What makes you feel restricted in your life? Now let's flip that. Let's look at the other side of the coin. What. What brings you fulfillment? What's something that you can do? Not a physical, material thing. Obviously, physical physiology plays a role, like getting out in the environment, whatnot. But what is it that you love doing? Is it getting out in nature? Walking down the beach, walking around the park, going for a swim? I mean, things that are primal to us are so essential. Nourish the body, move the body. They're key elements that really are different forms of creating space, cooking a beautiful meal and enjoying and eating it alone or with family and friends. Amazing training. Sometimes my ass is. More often than not, my ass is hanging out. But it's actually a meditative state for me. Everything's clear. Nothing matters. I'm just doing it. It's just me, just in the zone. Just me and Chris Manariti. And now he's beating me more often than not. It's making me angry. I hope he listens to this. I hope he does it. It'll pump him up even more. But it's absolutely that. Like, I don't really care about anyone else. To me, competition is striving for more, striving for something greater in company. And that's what it's about. But using those things, taking your dog for a walk, listening to music. I've said this before. I've literally have a playlist. I've got a few. I've got one which is some light, like, light stuff. Relaxation and perception. Amazing. The perception one, actually, I'll bring it up. I'll quickly have a look here. We'll see, we'll laugh at some of these songs. But it really is something that helps ground me and helps me realign. And I hope this is making sense. Here we go. Down under by Men at Work Sounds of Then Gangajang the boys light up then need you tonight by INXS Born to Be Wild Fortunate Son what is Love by Hattaway Legs by ZZ Top Crazy Fly like an eagle My seal A Couple of good ones there. Simply the best. Tina Turner, Way Back Home, which is a good song by the Bag Raiders that I really like. Need you'd tonight, a few more NXF songs. Great Southern Land, Ice House, I'm Still Standing by Elton John, which I actually got onto from the movie Sing. Actually, I've got a few of Stella's songs in here. Hair up by Justin Timberlake and Gwen Stefati from Trolls. Perfection by Chatting Tatum from Smallfoot. I can't believe I just said that. Krin will love me even more now. Jesus. Yeah, amazing. But look, it puts me in that state. Nostalgic reflection on past previous moments of life. Doesn't matter. It realigns with that subconscious part of you that brings you that calm, that peace, that ability to forget about all the shit going on out there in the world, forget about all the fluff out there and what's happening and how I feel, what's important to me right now, what matters. Like sometimes, like every night, bin night, no shoes, no shirt. It's actually quite nice in winter. I don't mind it. Take the bins out and just stand out there and take a few nice big breaths. Embrace the chill, the cold. And I also look up the stars at times. It's just beautiful. It's pretty amazing. When you look up, I feel like the solar system and all those sorts of things and planets and stars. It's pretty amazing when you look up at them, it's just like. It's a real miracle, isn't it? You look up at that and it's like, man, this is crazy. And it's not like I feel so small. It's like, this is just pretty incredible, right? It really is. Then nothing else matters. For me, yesterday was an absolute nightmare. And what does yesterday mean to you? You might listen to this in a month's time. It doesn't matter. But for me, the time of doing this and recording this yesterday was an absolute nightmare. Nothing was working. Then all of a sudden, I'm getting every red light, trying to drive home, be there. So some appointments and all different things happening. It was just a real shit fight. And it was getting to me. It really got to me. That rage was real, man. And I want to tuck that rage away. My brothers used to lock me in my bedroom for their protection, not mine, because of some of the rage that I used to have. But admittedly, calling me nicknames like KFC and a few other things that I won't say because they're quite rude didn't really Sit with me. Well, at the time. So it's about looking at what's important to you. Because pain, pleasure, rage is a pleasure. Bitterness, resentment, they're pleasures, they're pleasure points. Because it gives you control again. But is it the highest level of control you can have in your life? This is my point, guys. What is it that you want to do in your life? Who do you want to be and what do you want to achieve? The best way to have that is to control the things you can control. Don't worry about the stuff you can't. When you let go of the stuff you can't control anymore, it gives you even more freedom to have a greater level of control, strength and power over that which you do. That's where the magic lies. That's the magic, magic man. That's where you have those breakthroughs. That's where you get free and you move ahead in life. Where so many people feel stuck because they live in a state of perceived or false or temporary control measures through their feelings on how they're feeling when they don't really want to feel that way. But it's all they know now. And that's the subconscious that's become part of their conditioning. It's just who they are. Doesn't have to be that way for you. Create space for yourself. Get out with nature. Take time. It doesn't have to be long. Could be five to 15 minutes. The best moments to do it are when you are most vulnerable, which is generally when you're most tired. As soon as you wake up, before you go to bed, one or the other or both. Create space for yourself. Sometimes middle of the day. But the best thing for me was I put on some 432hz music that was really good. Our body's naturally. Our frequency is 432. All the music in the modern world is 440. There's conspiracy theories, we'll save that for another day about how that affects us. But either way, there's some beautiful, amazing music. You can look it up on YouTube, you can find it anywhere. 432 hertz. And it just calms you. Just recenters you. I love music as a way of creating space as well. But find that that gives you the ability to forget all the fluff out there in the real world. You're having a shit day. You might be having a shit day right now. You might not be having the greatest day. And it's not agreeing with you. That's okay. Just know that this day has come to pass. This Month has come to pass, this year has come to pass. And you know what? This lifetime has come to pass. And what are you going to be remembered by and what are you going to remember over the course of your life? Is it going to be any little one particular moment of your life? Or is it going to be some big moments or a collective of just generally the state that you're in? How do you achieve that state, an optimal state for you to be the best person you can be? Ask yourself these questions when you see those answers there. And they're not materialistic type things, they're things that are in tune with your body, the senses, what we're having as human beings in a human being experience. You'll quickly see that creating space is a must, it's a necessity. It is the foundation from which everything else you can create in your life will be born, will be uplifted, will be created in a state of higher level performance being output outcomes, whatever it may be, you will live a better life. Doesn't matter what digits are in your bank account or what sort of house you live in. Literally creating space for yourself. So important you build that body suit, that body armor, that internal framework to handle everything that's coming at you. Because it won't stop. I'll tell you right now, you don't need to be 80, looking back, some old wise man to say that I learned that a long time ago. It will never stop. The adversities never stop. We need them. They're so important in our life. Because how could you measure what something for you which would be successful, great, uplifting or divine would be. Yes, everything's out of love and this and that, of course. But at the end of the day, what's the reflection point? We're humans. You compare in a split second before you even think about something, you're already comparing. So we need them, guys, we need the adversities they forge us. If I didn't have the adversities in my life, you wouldn't be listening to this right now. That's a fact. I could have made a first grade in rugby league. Could have turned into a shit human being. Not, I'm saying rugby league does that, but just the way my head was with glory and fame and money and yeah, I could have some more money in the bank account, but I might not be exactly where I am having the impact that I'm having right now. In a genuine light. I feel blessed that my knee got destroyed. Is it hard sometimes today? Yeah. But do I look after it absolutely. I keep good muscle tone, I look after my knee, the mechanics, my ankle, my hip, hunky dory. I'm just waiting for medical science to save me. I don't want to get a knee replacement, but if I have to, it is what it is at the moment. Funnily enough, with a bone on bone knee, I don't have any arthritic pain or any symptoms other than a limited range of movement at times. And I really got to spend time to warm up and mobilize. It's absolutely possible, guys. What it is that you want to achieve and have in your life is possible. And what you think you want to have right now may not be what you truly want. But the best way to be clear on that is to align yourself with the right state, get clear on the facts of what's involved, to move towards those goals and that which you want to achieve and be that first on the inside. Be that level of excellence, that level of impact, adding value to other people's lives, that level of persistence. Just don't give up that level of resilience. Get over the shit quickly, get over the tough stuff in your own way. Everything's different, every circumstance is different, but move forward from that the best way possible that you can instead of just living there all the time. And that is what persistence is, doing that on a consistent basis. Hope you enjoyed this, guys. And you've gotten a few takeaways, a couple little nuggets of gold. And like I said, if you ever need anything, please let me know. Every Sunday night, 8:30 live on Facebook, my general Facebook profile for everyone. I jump in and touch on one or two topics as well. Hoping that a little bit of value and insight just help you see things a little bit differently. That's the big thing. There's very few absolutes in this world. It's about your perspective and shifting that to what serves you. And that's what I love to do and that's what I do best. Just get you asked that extra question, just go one layer deeper, don't have to go all the way down, just go one layer deeper and ask that question of what you think is supposed to be concrete or supposed to be the way life is. And when you look at that, you can break out of that old mold of where you are right now and aware and have that awareness of how you're thinking, feeling, your actions and see that and go, well, not necessarily that, because I'm focusing and I'm actually acknowledging and reviewing and analyzing that right now. That's who you are. You're that higher person that can pull away from that and look at it and go, okay. Yep, that's where I'm at. That's what's going on. Why am I feeling this way? What can I do? Where do I want to be? Who do I want to be? Okay, let's course correct and have another crack and go again. Best way to do that is by creating space. Take care. Much love to you all, and if I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening, and good night. Appreciate the love and support and the messages. As always, guys, keep on rocking and have a fabulous day, night, weekend. Whenever you listen to this, take care. Bye.