220. Navigating Parenthood, Relationships, and the Pursuit of Happiness

If you love the podcast and you want other valuable tools, resources and coaching that will ignite the fire in you to go to the next level, then look, make sure you jump on the other various platforms. We have absolutely our YouTube channel, Alex Ranieri. And in there you'll find the opportunity to have different coaching and resources and tools and tips, including our podcast episodes in video form, which a lot of people get value from too. But make sure you have a look at everything that we have to offer. High Performance Father is something that is a phenomenal movement that I'm very proud of. It's something that I love in this message that continues continually grows, and it grows in more fashions and ways than just the podcast. But I appreciate you tuning into this podcast with a couple hundred thousand downloads now. It's just incredible. So thank you very much. Enjoy this episode, but make sure you do go and use the other tools and the other valuable resources that we have.

Okay? Welcome to the all in podcast where we go all in on.

What are we going all in on?

Life as a married man. Fucking hell. What a.

We go all on life as a married man. I'm Lintrin. I'm Lin. And this is our. Together we make our Lynn, or Lynn, which is the. The podcast episode. It's quite catchy, isn't it, Al?

Yeah, I love it. That's why I got the license plate. So we actually. Our cars will have the exact same license plate.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I love. I know people think you and I'm in.

I'm in Victoria, you're in Sydney. They think we're in two places at once.

So meet my host and co host.

Whoever the host is. I'm the host, Lintron, and this is my co host, Alex Renari, who runs who's the founder of High Performance Father.

And welcome to the very first episode, Pumped man.

Can't wait. And I just on that note, like, all in is such a catchy phrase, even to the point where I'm willing to put it on my car where people will think there's an Asian driving because of the way it's spelled. But nonetheless, it'll be a big, big white man who's behind. I'm looking forward to it.

It's spelled A L L I N H. Right? So the first thing is, how did you convince me to create a podcast with you? Like, I've been in the shadows for.

The last three years. Not, not, not a lot of people know who I am. Right? I've been in the shadows in the last three Years, kind of behind the scenes.

How did you convince me to get onto a podcast?

Like, why is this so important?

What is this about?

I just think it's, you know, and I say it's respect. I just think it's selfish for you to be very successful and then go in the background and not share what it is to be a. As I coined the term and we've coined the term working together as business partners. A high performance father. And I say that with love and respect, bro, but like, you've had some amazing success. Father of two kids now. Atlas and Ocean. Beautiful little, beautiful little creatures. And it's, you know, it's something that I just think that. And it's not about me standing on the mountain. I'm here alone. This is a big fucking message and it's important, but I just think it's, it's time and, and time for you to share and for us to collaborate in helping so many men out there not just get their shit together, but see that, hey, there's something I can fucking stand for instead of falling for everything. And that's important, man. That's a big thing that we need to address in many different ways with many layers. And also I triggered you with something and I brought you back. I re lit the fire, which you won't tell me. You won't share with me what the trigger was, but apparently I said something and challenged you. And look at you now.

You're fucking back.

You've got the red and blue.

I'm back, baby. I'm back. Yeah, you did trigger me. You said something, but I'll probably share it later on in, in episode 100. We make it to 100 episode. I'll tell you, I think this is really important. I think right now more than ever, like, you know, I. I want to bring men together, fathers together. I think the, the dynamic of the family, men and just great families that are growing together, we're losing that.

We're losing that culture, we're losing that tradition in today's society. We into a society in the Western world, in Australia, in the US in.

Particular, they're generally the leaders of stuff, right? We kind of follow behind, but we're just losing tradition. We're losing good old values of what it's like to be a family.

And I think I've spoken to you this about this before and like, how is a good family supposed to be raised? How do we raise our kids in today's society?

How do we build a really good family unit where a wife, a Husband.

And children can actually bond together and grow.

There's a couple reasons we're seeing, like, divorce rates hit sky high times.

Okay? We like divorce rates at an all time high.

That means for every divorce, there are kids that are going out there without.

A father figure or a mother figure. Okay?

And you and I both know, like, I know that if I was to get divorced with Kerry, like, I'm just not going to be that much of a. As good of a father that I can be with Kerry because quite often I'm like, well, the kid's gonna be at Carrie's house. And, like, I don't really like her.

Anymore, hence why we're divorced.

And, like, I'll start to see her patterns within them and I'll get triggered.

At them, you know, because now I'm like, oh, you're adopting this, these patterns from your mom?

There's a whole lot of issues. But I feel like, you know, with the divorce rates, that's. That's one aspect. The second aspect as to why I.

Wanted to do this was because we've.

Got two kids now. They're extremely young.

Ocean's 3 and Atlas is like five months.

But I've just seen the amount of.

Work that my wife Kerry and our wives Corinne, like, Corinne has had to.

Do that I didn't get to see.

But I'm sure you did.

And there's just not. There's just not this level of respect.

For the woman in being the mother.

In being the rock, the foundation of the family. And so because they're not respected, they're. The feminists are going out there and trying to seduce our wives to become this boss lady, to become this alpha woman who has it all, who has, like this. This boss babe vibe.

And it.

It's not good for our kids.

It's not good for the family dynamic.

It's not even good for them because they're in this conundrum where they want.

To be a mom, but they're told.

That they should be more, that being.

A mom is simply not enough.

And as I look at this with Kerry raising our children, I go, man, like, being a mom is the hardest.

Job in the world.

It is the most insane job in the world. Like, women have this amazing nurturing power and this level of patience and this energy that I can't bring to the children that they need, then you can't bring.

But they're just not respected. They're not seen.

They get abused by the kids. The kids abuse them all the time. They don't get Recognized. They don't get the status that you and I get in business like you and I, people go, oh man, you make money.

You're awesome.

I've seen your ads, I've seen you on YouTube, I've seen you stuff.

We get all this recognition.

Our team looks up to us, but as a mum, you really let go of your self identity. And I think this podcast is so important.

Obviously, we're here to bring recognition to.

Mothers, but we're here to share our stories.

We're not here to preach anything. We're here to just share what two blokes are going through inside of our 30s.

Raising kids, trying to keep our marriage alive, keep.

Build a really good marriage.

Right?

Like, what does that even look like?

How do we even parent our children into today's society with all of the.

Chaos going on, with all of the confusion of whether or not they're a.

Boy, they're a girl, they're. They're in the middle, they don't know who they are.

Right.

And we're just having some real and honest conversations on what it's like to.

For men just like us who want a traditional family unit. I wouldn't say traditional, but I'd want a strong family unit. Like, we look back to our ancestors.

And in the cavemen time, we had.

A lot of wisdom there.

And it's just trying to bring ancient.

Wisdom back up to the modern world.

Okay.

So I think that's, that's kind of what sparked this conversation. I think that's why I'm back here.

I think this is so, so critical, so important.

I think that men like us need.

To speak up more. Hence why I'm doing my bit here.

So, Al, do you want to dive into this with what is it like to be a man in today's modern world? Like, what are the responsibilities, the stresses that men have that men aren't even aware of, that they have? And if you're a man about to get married, well, you know, you're going to face these stresses and these experiences that me and Al have gone through. If you're a man that's 50 and you have teenage daughters, well, great. Hopefully you can impart some wisdom to.

Us so that we don't, you know, we, we can learn from your lessons.

But what is it like to be.

A man in today's world? Why is it so hectic? Why is it so hard?

A great intro, bro. And look, to be fair, it's really tough for a lot of men in the world today where you just get Blindsided by the conditions that has led to more chaos, more turbulent experiences, more volatility. When it comes to making choices, where you focus, where you spend your time, everyone wants your attention. Technology's going through the fucking roof faster than ever. I remember seeing a stat that the modern day 12 year old has experienced and already been exposed to more than only 50 years ago, what an 80 year old would have gone through in their lifetime. So that's insane. You're already looking at a 6 and a half X for a 12 year old too, where they don't have the mental capacity. So take that into today's world, gentlemen, and all of a sudden you've got a man who's looking to get married. Which unfortunately, through the most part, the legal systems definitely does not work in the, in the favor of the man. He's left much more exposed, much more vulnerable. Which is why choosing and aligning with your queen is more critical than ever. Because you will get fucked up if things don't line up. And there isn't that alignment and clarity at the start, certainly throughout the middle, without those two, there is an end, there absolutely is. And it's not a happy ending for you. And then also as Lynn's working through now and has been for three years, but I have with my six, four and two year olds, my children, fatherhood, like here's the thing, boys like making money, business, health, fitness, all that shit's fucking easy. Like you all look back when you have children, you're like, what was I doing? What was I spending my time on? I had so much more time. And that's the crazy part, all that stuff in isolation is still actually quite easy. It's very simple. It's very simple to make money, it's very simple to have a great body, throw in the mix, fatherhood, marriage, helping provide your wife's needs and maintaining a rhythm with that consistently not. Here's what I'm going to do once a month, being a father with no sleep, children having ear infections, cold flus, operations, all of my children have had operations, They've got horrendous ears. So grommets, adenoids, tonsils, all these things that deprive you of sleep, energy, focus and tell you to shit. What we're left with in today's world, gentlemen, is no roadmap, no rule book and ultimately no cohort, no environment of people who are willing to speak the truth, like you and I are, Lynn, to actually say, hey, this is the reality of life, but also this is what you can do. About it. So what happens, Lyn? Yeah, men, Men are left isolated, alone, another lone wolf story and they break down and fall apart.

I want to, I want to dive.

Into something that you said just earlier on.

But why, why are men not getting married these days? Like when we look back in the last 30, 40 years, like I got.

Married to Kerry when I was 27, I think most, most people I know right now, most of my friends, I'm 33, most of them aren't married, most of them don't have children. Why do you think most men kind of delaying like back in our parents days, you go back 20 years, people would get married at 22, have kids by 24. And when I look at Kerry having kids at 30 and like how much her body is getting smashed because she's a little bit older, she's 33 having kids and her number one wish was I regret having kids too late at 33. Or she had Ocean at 30. She wished that she was like, man, if I could do it back at 18, I would because that's when I could really bounce back.

Why do you think men are so.

Reluctant to get married? Like you look at the next generation, the 25 year old, you know, if I talk to the 25 year old, I got abs in next door and I talk to him and he's nowhere near marriage, right? He's like, yo, no, I'm not getting married.

We look, we know plenty of other.

Men that are deadly in marriage. What do you think? I've got my own answer, but I'd love to hear what your thoughts are.

It's a fair point. And I think because I'm so far into the space and the work of men who are already married, I probably haven't given it a great deal of thought. But if I was going to shoot from the hip, so to speak, and talk intuitively, it's probably a couple of different reasons. Firstly, logically, in today's world, and I know I mentioned briefly the court system, if divorce was an outcome for a couple that was married, logically there seems to be very few pros versus cons for a man to be bound that way.

Do you think like the 25 year old thinks shit?

Like, oh, it's not a man's world.

Out there with the courts, so I'm.

Not going to get married.

Like, do a lot of men think that way?

The younger that are coming up, I.

Think they're aware of it.

For the older men, I think that that's guys inside the community, they're like Fuck, I've been screwed over. And it's not until you've been screwed.

Or you're going through a divorce that you really aware to that potentially maybe.

It'S more so the, the availability what they've actually got access to on other things that could, you know, fill the void, close the gap. Maybe they don't understand the value of father, but I'd say it's very easy these days with, you know, even pornography is a simple release to get instant gratification and, and have needs being met.

You got only fans. Why would you get married? Why'd you get locked into one person when you've got the world is at your fingertips?

I had a great theory on this.

And I just think that over time.

Men have gotten weaker and softer and they've become less committed to doing to like you know, going all in on stuff. Funnily enough, this is, this podcast all in.

But you know, you go back a.

Generation and men, we, we were laborers, we built cities, we were, we were working non stop all day. We were hard working men. Now you've just got a society where men are less committed. You've got so many options available to you. You've got Tinder, you've got onlyfans, you've got porn, you got all these new things coming up and so men don't have to get married. I think men are afraid. Like young men right now, the 25 year olds, I don't, I probably wouldn't call them men, I'd call them boys. They're, they're afraid of commitment and because they're, they're afraid of what happens after marriage. You know, you're married, there's all this responsibility that you have to take on because generally what happens is okay, you want to get married, you have to buy a ring, a rings, not cheap dude, like an engagement ring, a diamond ring. You're looking at anywhere between 5 and $30,000. If you know you're between that range, then you've got the ring, then you've got the marriage ceremony. What's that, 30, 50, $60,000 there. Then after the marriage ceremony you've, you've got to buy a house because you know that's what your parents want. That's what, that's what your in laws want you to do. Hey, you have to buy a house, look after my daughter. Then after a house you've got a baby.

And so there's this thing where like.

The guy is at the edge of the cliff.

And I think I felt like I.

Didn'T feel this way at 27, I just knew I wanted to marry Kerry.

But I'm just starting to see it.

More and more, is that there's this fear. It's kind of like for most of.

Us guys, right, generally how we've grown.

Up is we delay shit as long as possible. If we can push it off, we can push it off, right?

And so if we have any, like, our gut instinct is either either all.

In or like, we're kind of pushing things off. Like, you know, you want to take the garbage down the bin. Oh, no, not tonight. I'll forget. You know, it's not a big deal until your wife tells you, hey, take.

The garbage down the bin. Like, all right, I'll take it down, I'll take the kids out, right? Generally, that's how us guys operate.

We generally think about two to three things a day. And that's, that's how we roll. So I think most boys out there, they're just afraid of commitment and they're afraid of responsibility. They're so afraid of responsibility because after you get married, you now have to become a man. You now are committed to going, shit, I need to figure out how to make this work. And the 25 year olds right now, they have barely got their lives figured out.

They don't know what they're going to do.

They don't know how to make money. They're still confused about, you know, living in the past and, you know, going with that. They're not thinking about their future.

And so I think that's one of. I think when I look at it.

That'S, that's kind of what I see.

Which, yeah, I agree.

Which kind of leads to the next question, because I'm trying to figure out. I'm in high performance, father. I'm watching thousands of men go through. You're helping thousands of men try to fix their marriage, fix their family. But it's kind of like, well, why don't we backtrack to the very start of how men got married in the first place? Did men actually go, hey, I'm actually going to marry you. You're the love of my life.

I'm going to build a family with you. Or the most men get married because it's like, I've been in a relationship for five years with this girl, you know, there's no one better out there.

She's pressuring me she needs to have kids. Her ticking times, she's a ticking, you.

Know, she's a ticking clock. And her clock's gonna Run out. And hey, if we don't get married now, than never.

And so I think by trying to.

Figure out the destruction and the chaos and the divorce, well, let's figure out why people actually got married in the first place.

I know that for me and Kerry.

It was like, why did I marry Kerry? She put no pressure on me to marry her or propose.

I just kind of knew, hey, I.

Want to be with this girl.

That's it.

Like, I'm all in.

You know, I made a decision, I think for most men, from my understanding, is that they don't make decisions. They kind of get wedged in this pressure. There's pressure from the wife's best friend.

The girlfriend's best friend, hey, you're going to marry her.

You guys have been together.

There's a pressure from the in laws. Hey, you've been dating my daughter for five years. When are you going to. Guys going to get married?

There's all this, when are you guys.

Going to get married?

When are you going to have kids?

She's coming up to 30, right?

That's like the age. It's like when your girlfriend approaches 30.

That'S kind of it. Would you agree with that?

Like, in order for us to figure.

Out why there's so many divorces, we've got to figure out what was the commitment in the first place. And the lack of commitment is what I say.

Yeah, and that's great insight, man, and a valid point. I definitely agree. I look back and even reflecting my own life, I've been with Corinne since I was 17. She was 15, so very young. High school, and then pursued professional Sport throughout my 20s, which came to the lot of, a lot of ups and downs, very volatile career, injuries, operations and whatnot. And the whole while there was pressure to take that next step, you know, And I look back, pressure with Corinne, like, since.

Yeah, we're dating since, since high school. She was your high school sweetheart. You dated for 10 years. How long did you date until you got married?

10 years? Yeah, yeah, 11 years. So I was 27, turning 28, and she was, yeah, 20, 25, turning 26. And, and we got married after 10 years. And that's, that's crazy because I look back now and, and I want. There was a point, though, where I, I did want to do it and that, that was that point. But then I was, But I was pressured for. Yeah, yeah, yeah, at least six of those years. Like, I get it when you're 20. In, in, even in back in the early 2000s, there's not really that you should be married at 20. 100 years ago. 100. You're already married with two kids.

But.

But when I started to get in my early 20s, 22, 23, 24. Yeah, there was pressure, man, And I. And I wasn't committed. And I look back now, Lyn, and I'm a strong man who was chasing sport and had that will, that willpower and mindset to want to perform. Yet in that area, I still didn't want to shoulder the responsibility of stepping up commitment. Is that being married and making. Because I wasn't making money, even though I was trying to pursue it with sport. And so I think there was fear because I wasn't ready for the responsibility of actually going, hey, I'm gonna provide this fucking amazing life for you. Because I couldn't even see it, let alone step up to do it.

So funny.

We have so much clarity and direction.

In what we want for our own personal life. Like, I wanna. I wanna be. I want this much money. I wanna buy this car. I wanna have this, this.

This.

I wanna have this body. I wanna get this strong in the gym.

When it comes to the relationship, there's like.

There's the. She'll be right, mate, she'll be right.

And you kind of just drift into it.

And quite often, we let the women kind of dictate. And, you know, for us men, the common theme is that we allow the woman to dictate what's happening in our marriage. I think that's. That's.

That's a good and a bad thing.

There's pros and cons to everything.

And so I think because of that.

Pressure, people get married for the wrong reason. And because people get married for the wrong reasons, they.

Then.

That'S kind of where the first part happened, I think, right? The downfall, the lack of alignment, the lack of values. Like, Carrie and I got married for the wrong. She just said yes. I think she got said yes because we bought a house together. And she was like, well, if I'm not going to marry this guy, I'm not going to date anybody else. And her parents were like, yeah, I mean, this guy's amazing.

You should marry him.

And she was like, yeah, but she didn't marry me. We didn't sit down and go, hey, like, do we want the same thing? Are we going to.

Like, when you and I became business.

Partners, we sat down and we said, okay, what's the vision? What's the goal? Do we want the same thing? What's your role? What's my Role, right?

We were extremely clear. This is a.

This.

And then when we opened, when we opened our company together, we literally had.

Clear roles, clear visions, clear alignment.

And that's how, like, shit's been amazing, right?

Like, no arguments, no chaos, no cracks, no divorce, nothing like that.

I think if there was one piece of advice I'd give back to myself, and it's weird because I don't even.

Think I'd take it, but if there's.

One piece of advice I wouldn't. I don't think I would take this advice. I'd say, hey, get. Get aligned on your values.

Like, figure out, like, what do you want with this person for the rest of their life? How many kids do you want? What do you want to be doing with your kids? What do you want to build with this woman? Because for all of us, the person that holds us back the most is our wives.

Like, she is the bigger. She can either help us grow, she.

Can actually hold you back. And for a lot of men that I see in high performance, Father, their wives or their wives might hold them back, but they have a bigger story that their wives hold them back.

And.

And so it's a true thing.

Both you and I have experienced that.

I've experienced this so much where in business, I've constantly felt, oh, my gosh, Kerry's holding me back. Kerry's holding me back. Car is holding it. When we were together without kids because all she wanted to do was travel. And I'm like, woman, why do you want to travel for? I want to set us up. I want to get rich. Like, nah, I don't want to get rich through your mastermind. I don't want to take me to the Amazon.

And I hated it, dude, because I honestly felt, man, I love this woman.

So much, but there's something wrong because whenever I spend time with her doing what she wants, I feel empty as fuck. And when she does what I want, she feels empty as fuck.

And that's the craziest thing.

It's tough too, isn't it, man? Because what you're talking about, even in giving yourself advice that you probably wouldn't take, it brings me to the point of what I wrote here was existing version. It's fucking hard because when you. How would these men know to have the conversation with their fiance, so to speak, or their. To be wife, when they're planning their values, their goals, dreams, all of that, still, even the picture they paint could change. And this is the. The risk of life. Life's the risk, right? All that could change because everything they're planning is coming from that existing version. So let's, let's say that I gave myself the same advice that you're talking about and I go back to 21 year old. Al, been with Karim for four years. I wouldn't take the advice either because that's 21 year old version. I go, no, I'm playing first grade rugby league, man. She'll be right. And that's the hard part, actually creating wisdom in these younger men today. To go, no, no, no. You need to plan and look ahead at the big picture.

You make a really great point. You can't. Yeah. As much planning as you want, you can't plan ahead because with every year.

You become a different person with every different version of you. You have different goals, you pivot, you learn new things.

So I think the answer then, and that's a really good lesson, the answer is actually being able to deal with the cards you're dealt. I think at every given time that you're dealt those cards, like every year.

You'Re dealt a new set of cards.

Like this year I've been dealt Atlas.

It's been amazing. But I haven't had a lot of sleep. Right.

Second one's killed me in terms of, compared to Ocean. But you deal with the cards that you dealt. And so it's actually being able to.

Have a set of principles. Okay, these are my cards. How do I get out? Like, it's weird. It's like my hand. My hands are tied this way in a new way. There's a new combination code. All right, Figure it out on how to, how to get out of this particular, particular situation to get to what you want.

So you were kind of with Corinne and you kind of fell into your marriage.

When did you have Stella?

Did you, did you plan for Stella?

Was she unplanned?

Yes. So we, we struggled. That was another frustrating thing too, I guess because when we got married, the next next natural step was, was children. Everyone's different, but for us, we'd already spend time together. So it's not like we're married. Let's live together for five years. We'd already been together for 10. And Corinne couldn't fall pregnant. She has, has severe endometriosis. I've got an average sperm count according to the test. So there's that issue too. For the man. Enough. But obviously that was hindering between the two. Yeah, man. She couldn't fall pregnant, so we had to do ivf.

How do you feel having an average sperm Count.

Did you tell people?

Like, I know we're really transparent about that now, but, you know, if I had an. Like, I know that when you said that, I'm like, whoa.

If I had an average sperm count, I'd feel like less of a man.

Manhood. Yeah.

It's the only thing that men have, right?

Yeah. And. And it's tough because, like, my. My uncle couldn't have children and his. He had a diminished sperm count. And I remember hearing his story because being on the Italian side, very pride. Very proud. You know, people, it was. And we all have a level of pride, but for him, it was really tough to swallow. So for me, even just having an average, it hurt, man. And that coupled with when we did ivf, when I went to the. The. The sperm clinic and did all that stuff, I actually saw my friend at the same time, and we didn't even know that each other had issues. And. And I messaged him in the car and I was like, hey. Like, I saw him as he passed and it's like that. Whoa. And I messaged him and I said, hey, man. Not to sound, you know, intrusive, but, like, were you just at, you know, this one Fennel street in Parramatta, going and getting your sperm number? He's like, yeah, I was.

And I thought that was you.

And. And I was so. I was so embarrassed as well, man. So. Because I was a very proud man at that stage. I was, you know, I'd played rugby league and doing CrossFit, you know, obviously all the Persona of being a high testosterone. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The big alpha, the 192centimeter center forward.

Yeah.

The swimmers don't swim, you know, so. No, it was man. But now, you know, that did pass reasonably quickly. But looking back, yeah, it was something I didn't. I never told anyone about. And. And then. And even the whole IVF thing, like, I was injecting these hormone things into Corinne to help her, and we kept failing. And, you know, as a man, there was nothing we could do. Like, we can't change it. And it was tough. But we ended up having Stella. We were successful. Stella and lillian were both IVF. And I was 30, just about to turn 31.

What were you doing when you had Stella? Like, what, What. What was your, like, financial life, personal life?

Like, the reasons why I asked about.

Finance is because I gave a piece of advice. Abs was asking me, hey, like, what.

One piece of advice would you give me? Like, it's his birthday today, and he's like, what? One piece of advice Would I give to you before you get married? And I said, bro, like, figure out your money. I said, bro, you have to figure out your money. Because generally, like, we, we. I've noticed that for myself and a lot of people, 99.8% of the arguments have money as a root cause of why the argument started in the first place. And the excuse for those arguments are shadowed in bullshit. Like, I'm just going to call it out.

Yeah, 100%, man. You know, it's like that. Yeah, yeah, that's a great birthday present for Abs.

Yeah.

And I said, you got to get your money sorted out. Like, you just have to be like, whatever that number. Feel like money isn't a constraint for you. Feel like you're not strained, feel like you're not scarce in money. Feel like you know how to make money. You have the power to make money. Because I think that's a very, very.

Important skill in order to provide for your family.

I, I've noticed like when I used to grow up and, and when I used to start when I dated Carrie.

And I didn't have a lot of money and, and she wanted to go out to the organic store to buy organic chicken. I'm like, yo, go to woolies and like buy shit on special, you know.

And so we would have these. It was such a weird conundrum. Now, now to think back at it, she would want to go out to the organic store. 10 years.

I'm like, yo, like, buy shit on special.

Why you have to be such a, why do you have to be such.

A high maintenance girl? Why do you. And she's just like, well, I just want the best and.

Yeah, and isn't that crazy? Because I'm looking for like special and deals and woolies and I'm going, hey, you should buy like ten dollar chicken. Buy $3 mints. What's wrong? What, what's worse than $3 mints? Now that we know, what could be worse than three fucking dollar mints? But back then I didn't. And back then. And what's the root cause it was money. Like, she over. She'd leave the heater on in the other room. I'd get pissed at. I'd be like, hey, honey, why'd you leave the heater on? Turn off the heater.

Don't you know.

But you know, and then I'm making up bullshit excuses like, oh, you know, it's just inconsiderate or it's just a waste of energy. Have you heard that before? It's a waste of energy to leave the heat on. But really what was happening, I was, I was a not. I was a non producing tight ass that then allowed my relationship, the most important thing, my wife, my relationship with Kerry, the mother of my kids.

You.

Know, telling her, labeling her, abusing her.

Creating stories about her because the root cause of money.

And so I think if we investigate.

That a little bit more, that's a really big thing, I would say as, as men, as fathers.

Yeah, absolutely, man. Like I look at like, money's the pathway to trust because for 99.9% of people, unless you're, you know, scamming, swindling or you catch some sort of lucky break, which means it wouldn't last anyway because it's the foundation of who you are that creates a momentum of continued wealth. It's the pathway. Here's a perfect example for those listening. You ever hear the fucking saying, oh man, this kills me? Money, money can't buy you happiness. It's bullshit because it can. It's the vehicle to experiences and so many other opportunities that you have. Firstly. But secondly, just to go straight for the kill for anyone who disagrees with me on the podcast, listening to it, if you had, if you had a. No, no, but true. Like, look at it this way. If you had a billion, when do you feel happiest? At Christmas? When you're receiving or giving gifts? When you're giving. So if you had a billion dollars and you could donate 100 million to some sort of charity or some sort of part of the world, would that make you happy? Oath it would. So money actually can make you happy through the gift of different ways. But that's where, like, just to paint that picture on what you asked, man, this is where my life was, right? 2015, use my wife's credit card and all of her income going into a shared account to live off and be an athlete instead of paying our rent. So we had a big bill, big bill due. Then got out of the gym. I had no gym. The gym that I was going to set up on the Central coast failed, didn't get council approval and things just messed up and it didn't work out. I had nothing, man. It's actually quite funny. I was reflecting. I had four different jobs. This is in 2015, this is only seven, eight years ago. Had four different jobs. I was doing online programming. I was working for a chief nutrition bar and supplement place. I was doing a couple of classes a week at two different gyms. I had like four jobs, man. It was insane. And no Money was coming in there. We were trialing and error and she finally fell pregnant, which means coming through. Stella was born in 2016. Then I bought a gym, CrossFit, raw commando. It had a. Put me in a big hole. The culture was bad there. I, I over leveraged and borrowed money and went in the hole very, very quickly there, took on that gym that was failing. I was traveling an hour and a hour and a half depending on traffic every day, up and down both ways, while my wife was heavily pregnant and gave birth to Stella. And no wonder my life fell to in 2017 because I had no money, Lynn, and I had no stability and I was in more debt than I'd ever been before in my life. That that's what led to the. If I had. I look at all those situations, every single one of them. The trial and error of getting married. Sorry. Having children through ivf. The, the, the tribulations and challenges with starting new businesses, buying businesses, traveling. You know, the car that I had which was fucking dying on me. I look at all those things and like you said, remove the stories. Money would have resolved 99% of the challenges Krin and I were going through from 2015 to 2018.

Or the fights or the arguments. I'm just going to go back to that. I think, you know, we talk about money not buying you happiness. It's not so much that it's buying. I think there's a flip side to that. I think there is. There's a side where people give up their family, friends, they become assholes and they chase money. And so the narrative happens because, you know, you see this person chasing money.

They don't.

They stop talking to you, they're mean to you, they treat you like dirt because you have no money. I think there's that side which is valid, but I'd like to think that money, not so much buys me happiness.

Or anything like that. Money gives you patience. And patience is the most important thing you need as a man, a business.

Owner, a husband, to literally just be patient.

Like, if Ocean breaks the glass, my favorite coffee glass, I'm not going to.

You know, spit the dummy because that's the glass. I'm not going to say Ocean. How could you be so careless or.

Pretend like it's something. It's an inconvenience, okay?

But.

But it's there because I have to clean it up. It's a mess. But then I have to replace it. You know, if she, she threw a rock at my Porsche yesterday, bro.

Threw a rock just like daddy Daddy, throw a rock. And that's yo, Lucky. Lucky, that's me, Lucky. I got like, even then I was twitching my ass like, yo, that's what would El do.

Al's got patience, right?

Even at that level, like, cool. Like, there's just levels. You know what I mean?

Like, that's what I was saying about your watches. You've got your watches everywhere.

That's right. It's just levels. And so I'm like, lucky that, you know, you're not throwing it at Lucky. This is not, you know, my dad's car. Because my dad would have given her a different response. Just like, great whack, right? But money buys you patience. And I think it's so important for a man getting back to that to get your money situation sorted. And if you haven't gotten it, like, you got to figure it out, figure it out. Because I think the fundamentals of a really good family dynamic in what I've seen is when your wife can feel the ability to literally be a mum and be okay and still have her needs met.

Like, you know, she'll want this and she'll want their wives. Women just want everything.

There was this saying I said on.

The other podcast, men want power and pussy.

Like, we want women and we want more power.

We want to become more powerful.

We want to have more success. Power and women, that's literally what you and I wake up thinking about. That drives 99.999% of our actions. And women want everything.

That's the other thing. Women want the holidays. Women want to be a stay at home mom. They want to have this side little hustle business. Maybe they want to be a boss babe today. Maybe they want to have lots of friends. Maybe they don't want to have any friends at all. It just is what it is, man.

And when you can accept that as truth, and if you can accept that truth, then you can operate within truth.

And now you can win the game because you know how to operate and play the game. You know, I used to look back at Karen and go, hey, like, I.

Gave you that one holiday, why do.

You want another one?

I just paid for that holiday. That was a real expense. We went out, we went to Europe. We've done your dream. Like, no, I want that every month. And I'm like, you know, and until I operate within the truth, like, my responsibility as part of the family unit.

Is to provide and protect.

I can. If I can do my job, then she can enable to be the rock and the foundation for the kids and Give them the patience and love that they need and I can come in and I can help them with leadership.

And I can help be a role model for them.

And so going back to that, the.

Woman has the most important job in the world.

That unfortunately is not recognized.

It's not, it's.

It's not. You know, the woman that's being a mom is not posting about being a mum on social media. Because as soon as you post shit on social media, you are no longer being the mom. That makes sense. The ironic part is these, these women, these people that are doing great job, are unrecognized because if they were posting and they were getting the recognition, they.

Wouldn'T be doing it.

Yeah. So. So all these mums on social media that are like, great mums, I don't know if they're a great mom because I wouldn't want to be sitting next.

To you whilst and then, you know.

Having dinner with the kids while you're, like, setting up your camera and making.

Sure it's all, it's all faked, right.

It's all staged. And so by, by just even documenting it, you're changing the paradigm of being.

What being a great mom is.

Are you a great mum or are you a great mum?

Because people are watching it.

Are you just genuinely a great mom because you want the best for your kids, or you're a great mom because.

You want other people to think you're a great.

It's hard, isn't it?

Because I think that's the most up part about social media is genuinely, we don't know. We have all these people that we look at and they were like, oh, you're a great mum. But, man, if I was to look in their. In their lives, if I was to be their husbands and this. My wife is literally going, wait, kids, you can't eat yet. Because, like, I've got to get a camera out. We have to get camera. And she's like, not. Holy shit, man. That's just.

Yeah, stuff too, because it's. Because it's such to get the outwardly recognized importance of being a mum, that outward recognition is something that is so delayed. So. And that's tough because as a mom, you can get. As long as you have a man who understands and respects and values your role as a mother, which is tough. And then on the flip side, you've got, you know, people attacking your wife and the mother of your children, telling her she shouldn't be a mother, and then you're not telling her how amazing she Is as a mother.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Forget about it. Why. Why would, like, us. Us. Like, there's. There's just the thing like this. And. And I. I want to appreciate fathers too, but genuinely, like, Mother's Day is.

Coming up, so this is going to be a lot of love to all the moms out there.

I know that if I had to.

Choose between working out, running the business, or spending a day with a kid.

Or spending a day with your kids, bro, okay, My kids are okay. They're Asian. They're like.

They're like half.

Half disciplined, half scared, right? Your white kids, bro. That's crazy shit. That's like three kids. Crazy, right?

I. I'd work out first. I'd been.

I'd work out five times that day, and I'd build 10 companies. I'd build 10 companies and I'd say.

Away from the kids.

But it's not that I don't love my kids. I love my kids.

I love spending time with the kids.

But there's another level when you are spending time to raise them, to. To be patient with them, to play.

With them, to stimulate them.

Like dads. Quite often, dads go to work, they come home, and then they just have.

That one hour spur.

And the kids are all fun. So you get the best part of.

The day, which is the kids are fun. You fuck up the mum's routines with the kids, right? You screw up all of her work.

You have fun, and then that in itself creates an argument because she's upset.

At you and she has every right to be because you have just come in and kind of messed up her whole unit that she set up for the day.

Yeah, that role of being a mum. What were you gonna say?

Yeah, no, well, I was gonna say, like, it's. It's tough because, yeah, we get a lot of the rewards too. At the certain time of day or with a fun dad or whatnot. 100.

The mum's just being cranky. The mum's been the dictator, telling off the kids. Discipline it. And tell them no. Feeding them food, putting them in place. And then we come home, you know, and then like, daddy. And then we're like, oh, mom, just relax.

Why are you being so uptight?

And that in itself is an argument. And I think I've had that with Karen. You had to sit me down and.

She had to say, hey, look, like, I've just.

She lit.

It's.

It's about.

It's really about quite a lot of.

Conflict is because we don't seek to.

Understand Conflict is a result of miscommunication, misalignment, misunderstanding things.

And in that moment, it's so easy for Cara to get triggered, and it's completely reasonable. But she's got this thing where she.

Can actually, like, just sit down, breathe.

Take it, and then, like, two hours.

Later, just say, hey, you know what? Like, next time when you come home, can you do this differently?

And I think that, like, if people just did that, just had more patience, then there wouldn't be as many fights, there wouldn't be as many cracks, there wouldn't be as many leaks. And it's fucking hard. It's. It's not. You know, it sounds like Saint Hood, but it's like, you just have to.

Try and, and, and for those men, without. Without seeking to understand. What that means is you could never acknowledge, and that's what you want, you.

Can'T acknowledge, and you have no respect. And I think there's one thing that respect is the most important thing in the relationship. Does that make sense? Like, when I'm working with you, I respect your roles, you respect my roles. And that's. That's what we have. We. You know, I go, alex has got my back here, Lynn's got his back here. Same thing with caring the family unit at home.

I respect Kerry so much as a mum, and she respects me so much as a dad. It's greater than love.

Like, I think love is a lag.

Love's a lag measure of outcomes, man. And you do those outcomes because you respect the person and value them.

Love is. Love is somewhat overrated, I'd say love is overrated. Love is a tricky one. Love is, like, so good at the start, and you think it's just chemicals inside of your body that's building up and lust and love and cravings. But I think to build. And we're not talking about how to.

Like, have love with your wife.

What we're talking about is how to build a great family unit, how to build a family that lasts, like, keep the family together. Because I know that there's nothing. Like, for you and me, a family.

Is the most important thing.

Like, if I lost Ocean, and last.

Year I nearly did, and that was.

Like, if I lost Ocean. And I'm sure you've gone through many surgeries with your kids, but you know that if you were going to lose.

A child, the world stops and nothing else matters.

And you sacrifice everything, you'd sacrifice everything.

To get them back, right?

And it leads me on to the.

Next conundrum that men will sacrifice their families like their loved ones, their kids, their children, their health in order to.

Get wealth so that they can make.

Their families happy when their families just literally wanted them to be happy. And there's just this.

Instead of going through this whole rat.

Race of trying to do all these things to get back to the point you were, why don't you just stay at the point you are and just appreciate and build on the point that you are? Because we have this story inside of our mind.

Like, if we do, all these things.

Will make them happy.

And there's this whole narrative, there's this.

Whole hero's journey that you'll be the hero. And it's kind of like. But they're just here now.

And if you're already deep in that as a father, here's your answer. You need to develop better skills, man. And you got to fucking move. Because you can't just trade when you're like, with me, with the three kids, I cannot just trade time for money anymore. I need to get more skillful. If you're a man listening to this, who hasn't hit that stage yet, a father and whatnot, well, start fucking now. Start early. Because just to tie all this in, because I know a lot of men listening to this would be like, well, you're speaking about money, Alan Lynn, and then you're talking about your wives. And appreciate. Well, here's the thing, right? Patience equals perspective, too. So if you can provide patience, if money brings patience and patience can bring perspective for you and your girlfriend or wife, then what that actually provides is opportunity and choices to really thrive where you won't have them. And it's a great book by Keith Cunningham, the Road Less Stupid. And he says it quite simply, lousy. Lousy people have lousy choices because they don't have the opportunity to create the life they can because their choices are limited. So people with better lives have better choices. And one of the vehicles, main vehicles in the modern world to get there is this. Which is why when we talk about power, lean and what men want, you know, it's like old mate from, from Spider Man. With great power comes, right, responsibility. It's actually the opposite for you young men listening to this now, you know the opposite from what Uncle Ben said to Peter Parker is true. With great responsibility comes great power. Which is why if you get your fucking shit together and you find ways to level yourself up, make more money, build more skills and value and take that step and commit into marriage, in those lives, taking that responsibility will equal massive dividends in the power that you will wield and have as you get older.

Yeah, I agree.

I agree. Last question of the day. So why do so many people stay.

In this rut of a marriage?

Like, I know a couple of people close to me that have great kids, but their marriage is a rut. But they, they just whine about it. They whine about the other partner. They go, oh, but he's not doing his part and he sucks as a dad. And, you know, and then they look at me and they go, oh, Lynn, if I had you as my husband, etc. Etc. I'm like, you know, and, and it's, it's so much envy. And I, I go, that's sad because I go, well, first, like, I generally. They come to me for advice and.

Then I generally tell them off and.

Ask them what they're not doing and then they get triggered, right? Because it's like, I, I really don't like people that complain because I'm like, but if you're complaining, you can change it. And there's something that you're not doing in your life that if you change, then it would create that spiral effect, and it creates the change in the other person. You know, if you go, if you are so generous and you are so loving unconditionally to another person, I guarantee you, you'll find a way to. That person will click and flick the switch and they'll actually start to go, wow, I'm gonna, like, I'm gonna reciprocate.

Like, we just mirror, right?

So what you're giving is what you're getting. Why do you think so many people stay in this rut? And there's. This is rut. There's like, there's. I see so many complaints in the community of men that are coming in and they're just like, ow. You don't understand. My wife's a bitch. You know, if she did this, I want to do all these things. Oh, I want to make all these changes. But what about her? What about her? Why doesn't she do this? Is there, like, high performance women?

It's the dichotomy of life, I think, man, when I look at it. Have a look at us at the core level. The dichotomy of life as a human being is we are lazy fucking creatures. And what the reason why it's the dichotomy of life is there's a deep, big part of us that's fucking lazy and wants to do the bare minimum. And the equal opposite of that is we're probably the most progressive and evolutionary creatures on this planet. And the reason why I bring that up is it's so much fucking easier. That's what I mean by lazy, Lynn. It's so much fucking easier to point the finger and say, look at all their problems and faults and flaws. That's way easier than taking ownership over your own bullshit and doing work and doing something about it. I think that's probably my first answer. But that always comes down to a choice. So maybe it's important.

What does, what does a guy actually do in that situation where he, his.

Wife is pretty poor, she's poor form.

Okay, and, and he's like, okay, I'm willing to change. And then, you know, he's been abused by her and put down by her his whole life.

So everything he does is wrong, right? Like if you're in a situation, everything you do is wrong.

You're a loser.

You can't produce.

They've got three kids together, the kids are keeping them together. What do you do in that situation?

Like practically, okay, the wife doesn't trust him anymore, abuses him, calls him a loser. He's got no self esteem. He's just listening to her.

He's literally working at a job, coming home, and he's in a bad environment.

What do you start?

Because I think the reality is like, I can see it here from this.

Perspective and people listening will go, yeah, but my wife, I wish I had a wife like Kerry who could sit down and be patient and tell me off. My wife just fucking abuses me. When I get home, the first thing.

She throws shit at me. There's no sex. We haven't had sex for ages.

She makes me feel bad for asking. She rejects me all the fucking time. She doesn't respect me. She, she, she. There's no respect for the husband and.

And he's carrying a lot of the.

Weight because he's making the money, you.

Know, and every man has different cards and I'm just interested to go through.

Like the multiverse, the, the million different types of men. And I go, ah, how would I figure it out this way? There's a path to figure it out.

Is it hard?

Extremely.

Can you see in the woods with.

All the tangled weeds? Absolutely not.

But rather than I just want to.

Dive in because I would go, what would I do in that shit show?

That was me in my life and I was excited.

You come home, your wife thinks you're a loser. You've got three kids, she doesn't respect you. She constantly rejects you when you Ask for sex.

It's a hard one to answer because I'm with the perspective where a man probably wouldn't think this way, or a lot of men commonly. But the very first thing I would do would be a triage on myself in asking some deep quality questions. What are the possible reasons that has led to the position that I'm currently in, in not getting X, Y and Z from my wife and this not being true? And this and then reviewing and analyzing. Where am I? I don't like fault and blame, but where am I Most responsible or 100% responsible for those outcomes? Is it possible to change them?

What am I not doing?

Yeah, what. Yeah, exactly. What am I not doing? What don't I. And what can I do about it? And then I would actually work on myself first. And then because I think the greatest form of communication, Lynn's example, followed by listening, followed by talking. I think that's, that's probably my top three in that order. But that's what I do first. Triage to first understand. Because then this, this is the same guy, right, who maybe he does want to change. So he's trying and trying and trying. He's fucking falling on their feet. It's.

I get it. It's hard because my previous relationship, like I felt like that guy, you know what I mean? So I'd come home and I think coming down to this, I think it comes down to a lack of courage. Like lack of courage to assess the situation and go, this situation is not.

The situation that I want to be in.

And also with courage, it's actually having.

The self respect to acknowledge that I don't want to be in this shitty marriage.

And I think when you have the ability to see that and the courage to see that, then you have to take some sort of action. Because there can only be two types.

Of outcomes from here.

Like outcome number one, yes, you get.

A marriage that you want and it's like, fuck, this is the marriage that I want. It's absolutely on fire. I love her, she loves me. We have great sex, we're connected, we.

Have that, we have aligned visions.

We want a parent this way. She's got my, she's got her role, I've got my role.

Or unfortunately, the next thing is divorce. And I think when I think about that, most men that stay in this pit would don't want to go get divorced because they can't see the other side. Does that make sense? They more close to divorce than the version of fuck, this is going to be a week we can be partners. We can be, like, together.

And.

And I think it's sad. It's sad because I genuinely think some. I genuinely think people should get divorced. And I genuinely think this is what I'm saying, that people should get remarried. Like, it's okay to get divorced and say, hey, I made a mistake. And it's also okay to remarry and try a second time. Like, I don't. And find. Find the next. I. I don't know about being divorced and staying divorced and staying single, because I don't know if I could do that, because I need a family. Like, that's just part of my need to be successful in life. I feel like I need to have a really good family and I need to raise them.

It's gonna be fun.

And this is what I'm working towards.

The relationships or the family. Right?

But I think a lot of guys, when they think about getting divorced, they.

Think it's failure, which I don't think that's true.

And also, they probably think if we stay under the same house, under the same roof, in the same house, it's for the kids. But I guess what I would prompt every man to ask, and maybe even ask one day with his wife when they sit down is the question, when our kids grow up and move out of this place and find their own home, what's keeping us together? And that's tough, man, because a lot of guys will settle and they'll do that. But then as soon as the kids do leave, they get divorced and they think that's okay. We did the right thing. And the unfortunate part is because I've got a fair few members who've gone through that. It's not great. Because guess what? The backlash from the children who are now adults who have this seed that was planted, look back and they're like, well, the whole fucking time raising us was a scam. It didn't even exist. All of that was just a sham. It actually wasn't real. You were just together for us, and then they're left empty, which is pretty tough, man, because then they're adults carrying the same baggage now, right?

It's all the same. It all gets copied, copied and pasted.

Into same DNA, Right? Next generation copies and pastes what we do.

And so I suppose the other thing.

Is, yeah, if, you know, if you.

Are in a bad relationship, I think the first thing is you got to.

Have the courage to decide, am I going to. Is this what I want?

And do you respect yourself enough to actually go get.

Go get what you want. Like, are you willing to put in the work to go get what you want? If this is not what you want, you got to leave.

Okay?

You've got to make an ultimatum. Hey, we either fix this, I'm leaving, I'm out.

And I think that rather than staying in the rut, and I think, like we talked about right at the very.

Start, men just don't want to do shit until, like, there's so much pressure on it that I have to do stuff.

And I think that's where a lot.

Of men find themselves.

Like, quite often it's them. It's the women wanting.

Wanting a divorce, not the man, Right? It's the women going, hey, I'm going to divorce you.

The man is just slowly drifting away.

And he thinks he can hold it all together. And then the woman just comes along. She either cheats on him or he cheats on her, or he does something and then she ends up divorcing him.

And then when you run into that.

Battle, well, as we talked about it earlier, men aren't left in a very good spot when.

When that place comes, when the woman.

Fights and wants custody and there's child support, men are not in a very good spot at all when it comes to the devil.

Very true and stuff, man. And it's. It's something where, like you said, that there needs to be a seeking of realignment. And then maybe it is, maybe it isn't the path moving forward, but you've learned and you're developing yourself to learn for the next one. Or maybe, hey, at least you've tried everything you can. Or on the flip side, we can make this work and we are aligned. We've just lost sight of investing inside of each other because it's like a cloud, isn't it? Marriage is quite an interesting, fascinating organism where you need to feed it constantly. That's investing in each other and what you've bought into and agreed into, like what you've spoken about. Every year you remarry, Kerry. And you need to create alignment, which is actually feeding it the right thing. You don't want to poison your marriage, but you need to feed it. So does the staff. That's quite rare, I think, in today's world because everyone's too fucking busy, Lynn. Or they've got alternatives, or they assume things or have expectations without actually seeking to understand.

I just don't think there's a modern way that a family unit could run and should run. I think when we go back to 20, 30 years ago, people Go. That's too outdated.

It's too traditional.

People also are afraid of religious kind of families that run their family unit that way because the religion has a bad stigma around it. And so I think people are missing a blueprint. How do you build a great family? How do you build a great family? How do you have. How do you have a wife that adores you? How do you have kids that adore you? How do you actually lead great children? I think that's a blueprint that I'm interested in uncovering.

I'm interested in finding that out.

And so with that being said, I think let's wrap up this first episode. What do you think we have in store for the next couple of others? What is the all in podcast going to be about? Like, what are we going to talk about?

What are we going to ruffle some.

Feathers to really talk about real things that actually matter?

Okay.

Give straightforward, honest opinions.

Let's not stand in the shadows.

What do you want to talk about.

That you feel like is needed to talk about that that is needed to get out there in the marketplace that men need to hear that families need to hear what's important.

Well, I think where we should start, mate, off the back of this episode. It's awesome. I've enjoyed the start here is really helping highlight again. You know, people don't have to be aligned with us, but for you and I being on the same page, we need to first define, if we're talking about a blueprint, what a blue what? What the blueprint is not right. Because there's a few things, even from agricultural, industrial revolution, the technology age, the speed in which we are traveling through this current stage is why there's no blueprint, because it's so fucking chaotic and fast. So what we need to first do is look at all those blueprints out there, like the Alphabet people, like the masculine and feminine, like the education system, like the mainstream media and all these things.

We're gonna break it down. We're gonna break down every one.

This is what the blueprint is not. This is. It's not our opinion. It's an observation of the actions and where the world is at the moment. If you want a good family unit with. With love, respect, and integrity, that's not. This is not the blueprint. This is not. So I think that's where we go first, man. This is what it wouldn't be and what it is not. I think that'll maybe strike some controversy, but also I think we'll find people who are on the same page going, yeah, you know what? You're right. I wasn't sure about that. But now I'm observing the outcomes because it's been in place for one year, three, eight years. That's not fucking right. That's not how it should be for our children. And I'm looking forward to.

We want to talk about things like lgbtq, how that is affecting our kids inside of school. Like, do you want kids to learn about that? I think I read something before a few days ago that they're teaching kids all about kind of in their. When they're teaching them about sex ed.

They'Re showing two boys sleeping together, they're showing two girls sleeping together, and then they're showing a man and a woman having missionary.

Okay, but these are the things that kind of go.

We're bringing a highlight to it because.

I genuinely feel like a lot of these things that are being pushed onto us. I don't even know, bro.

Like, I was telling you when you.

Came over a month ago, I'm like, dude, like, I can't look at a rainbow now without actually looking at a rainbow.

And just.

That's been destroyed.

Lgbtq, right? I think I feel like that was hijacked from our kids somewhat. Like, I feel like, wow, like, every time ocean points at a rainbow, like, you're looking at a rainbow.

Watch. You can't buy it just because that.

That whole. It's been hijacked from our children. And when. When that happens, I don't. I don't want to particularly stand for that. I want to voice it out because I feel like there's a minority that's voicing them, and they're very aggressive.

The minority is voicing their stuff, but the majority of people who are sensible and. And when I ask people down the street, hey, would you. Do you want your kids to be taught this stuff in school? They're like, no. And we're all sitting behind the scenes, and yet nobody in the majority is having the balls to actually stand up and talk about any of this stuff. And I think there are more voices, which is really cool. However, I want to be a strong voice, and I want to allow HPF and this community to be a strong voice to actually voice the things we want for our kids. Voice the way that our kids are taught. You know, what. What is marriage? Voice together, what a great relationship looks like.

Voice together that.

Hey, mums. Literally, like, you are the most important thing in the world. Like, the world would not run without mothers. That's why it's Called Mother Earth. Right.

I voice the importance of moms and.

Give them the respect as well.

Also respect the men that, like, cities were built on men's backs.

There's no plumbing without the majority of men. I don't see a lot of women doing plumbing work. I don't see a lot of women do bricklaying work. There are cities.

And I feel like rather than going.

On a power trip, you know, some feminists will be like, feminists can do everything. And I go, yeah, you can do everything, but should you do everything? And the answer is no.

I think fundamentally we're going to get.

Back down to do the best, to.

Do the things that we're best at.

And then give each other acknowledgement and respect for doing that work.

And so it just comes down to this world where shit's just so confusing.

Like, I'm even looking at a blueprint of what it's like to be a man, and I'm fucking confused.

I'm simply just trying to do the.

Best that I can with Carrie and my kids. And every day it's kind of like another battle. Is every day perfect? Fuck no. Like, so far from perfect. Does every day get a little bit better? Yes. Do I have days where I'm triggered and not on point? Of course.

But I think there's a bigger conversation here that we need to have, and.

I'm excited to have that discussion on the all in.

On top of that as well, I think as well. Passion topic of you and I is.

Talking about production and business and being able to make money as a man.

I think, you know, we talk about how to be a great father, we.

Talk about how to be a great husband. But there's one thing that a man.

Plays in his role to his family.

Is to provide and protect. So we'll look at providing and we'll look at talk about business, talk about advertising, marketing, sales, recruitment, team members, systems, finance and all that shit. Right?

Because that, that was something that took.

Me years to figure out and it's.

Still taking me extra years to actually.

Like, uncover the next steps.

Right.

I know you're going through this process with 4 hours CEO, which is phenomenal, by the way. I'd love to get your insights on.

That because I know that business is like. Like, if we think about pussy as half of our brand, business as the other half, then it's kind of like, okay, we have this half sorted.

If we can become more patient, how do we get. How do we get the business going well? So like I said, when you have More money, you have your more patient like the end period.

Love it, man. All great things to talk about. Looking forward to more.

Beautiful. Let's wrap this up, guys. If you like this, leave a comment down below. Ask us any questions. What would you like to see on the all in podcast? Who would you like us to interview? Do you like this format? Do you want something more structured? Do you want us to talk about news articles? What do you want us to talk about? What do you want us to address on the all in podcast? And you'll get myself, you'll get our. Maybe I will bring in some guest.

Experts, will interview them, we'll interrogate them, we'll ask them questions, we'll learn from them, whatever the case is.

With that being said, thanks so much for tuning in. Till next time.

We will see you next time.

Well, that wraps up another episode. And just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you. And then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart. And there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes four or five times and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. And also, if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You've listened to it. Write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak them, believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you can remember and make sure you consistently learn and relearn. Learn what is it's true and what is it is important to you in your heart. Take care, have an amazing day, night, weekday weekend, and I'll see you for another one soon.

Cheers.