221. Journey to Fulfillment: Training, Work, and the Joys of Parenthood

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All right, welcome back to another episode of the all in podcast where we talk about what it's like to be a man navigating through the modern day world. A man as a father, a man, man as a husband, and a man as a man in Society in 2023. Welcome to the show. My name is Lintrin and this is my co host, Alex Renari. Together Al and Lynn makes all in, hence the name All In. So Alex, how have you been, my friend? Good.

Brother. Good. All In. All in on life when it comes to family time. Actually just came back from a holiday in Fiji which was a nice recharge of mate. Yeah.

How long did you go for?

Really good. I think we're away for 10 days in total.

And where'd you go? Fiji.

Yeah, in Fiji, one of the smaller islands is quite nice, called Jean Michel Custo. It's like they have 25 really authentic berets, which is like the huts and so very secluded, man. Very authentic. Not that other places are, but you're in there with the natives, right? It's awesome. And the people were great. They just, you know, the best part was, mate, we had a nanny for each kid. So did you. Around the clock all day. We had the nannies looking after the kids and they loved that.

What's that? Do you have a nanny at home at the moment? Do you and Corinne have a nanny?

No. No. So I think that's the next step though, because we got home a couple of days ago and we're like, what do we do? The kids are hassling us. Where are the nannies? We're trying to poach and steal them.

The nanny is probably the best investment ever. I've got. I've got Joanie who does three days a week with us because I was at kindy two days. Best investment of my life because I get carry back and. And we just have. We just have a blast. I've just brought Carrie back to work actually, with that time. So Kerry's working on stuff. Fiji. Sounds exciting.

Anything.

Anything really cool, fun. How's the weather?

Weather was good mix. It's like, I guess. I don't know if it's typical coastal, but the clouds would roll in, there'd be rain almost every day.

But what's the weather like?

Is it humid too? A little bit humid. Not as bad as places like Thailand, but it was definitely warm when it rained. We had a good hit of mozzies. That was a bit of a punish.

Oh, the mozzie.

They got Lillian, poor thing, she had a hole in a net. So we had nets over our bed and beds and hole in a net and she got nailed. Poor little thing. But how many?

Dude, that's, that's. That's me and Kerry's worst nightmare here is like living on the ocean that we get tons of mozzies by. And so, yeah, I've been slapping them against the wall. I've got like blood stains of mosquitoes on the wall.

They're the one thing in the world, man, that I actually don't mind killing. Like, I'll go out of my way if it's more convenient to just open a door and shoo a fly out or get an ant that's crawling on me and blow it off. Off you go into the garden. Like, I don't. I'm not one. That might sound silly to some people, I don't know, but for mozzies anyway, man, what value do they provide the world? There's not enough meat on them for any spider or insect to eat them. To me, I don't know, I could be wrong, but they provide. They seem to provide zero value.

You ought to watch the Lion King. The circle of life, my friend. These mozzies are part of the ecosystem. Don't know. But you take them out, it doesn't work. So Fiji. That's great. You left me with the business. Thanks for that. Appreciate it. So I've been running. I've been running Alex's show while he's been away. It's been very interesting. Very, very interesting. Which is probably another discussion that we're going to have on another podcast where at one time. Let's talk about business. Let's talk about business. But before we get in, what we want to do is, you know, I was talking to Alex and I was saying, hey, we need to have some sort of a structure of this show because both you and I can talk shit for hours. The problem with talking shit for hours is that we talk shit for hours, which is cool and fun. However, with this show, what we want to do is. What I want to do specifically is kind of have a voice. Have a voice for men in Australia and have a voice for men who want to be great fathers. Have a voice for men who want to be great husbands. Have a voice for men who want to build great families and leave a legacy. And right now, we're kind of at odds with the world. You know, it's really confusing on what the fuck a man is. It's really confusing on what a woman is. It's confusing on what, you know, Kerry's confused because she's a mum at the moment, and she's confused whether or not she should be back working. Like, she doesn't feel like she's got a role working. I'm sure Corinne feels that way, Right, which is why she went back to teaching, which is why she's a teacher. It's really confusing, man. It's really hard to navigate. Like, I don't even know what it's like to. To be a man. And so as I'm navigating through my thought process and principles, hopefully we can share some with you guys. Hopefully Alex can impart his Wisdom. You know, 37 years of age, got three kids. I'm 33. I've got two. Did. Did I tell you me and Kerry are going to have more kids?

I think you said 6 or 16. One of those.

We. I said, look, Carrie, I said, if we aim for 10, then, like, six will be easy. I think the thing that I was finding three, I was finding two really hard. @ some point I was like, I don't want to have any more. And the reasons why. This is a really funny, interesting revelation. Reason why we allowed the outside world to. To listen to everybody else. And they were like, no, two. So hard. Imagine. And three people dying with three. You're dying with three. Other people dying with three. They go, no, no, no, you can't have more. And I'm like, wait a second. A generation ago, our parents had, like, my. I come from a family of six and I'd like to think if my dad could do it, at least I got to get to that level at least. I like, I have that in me. And so I just thought, look, quite often, like, we lower our standards because the people around us can't bear to have kids. Like, now, you see, most people don't want to have kids. They can't even buy a house, you know what I mean? Let alone have kids. So I feel like the standard in society is dropping this level of responsibility. As soon as I came back to that frame of mind, I'm like, cool, we're going to have a lot more kids. We have to. Because, man, you and I both know in 30 years, 40 years, 50 years, when we're old, the only thing that we're going to have is our grandchildren and their parties. And we're going to sit back and we're going to go, we created.

This 100, man. I've had a vasectomy. We still do have some frozen embryos. I'm not sure if I mentioned on the first episode, but yeah, we did ivf. We had a lot of ups and downs, challenges. Our limiting factor is because of Corinne's pelvis and how it's from a bone point of view, skeletally structured. She had to have cesareans. We nearly lost Stella on the.

First. You can't have more than three.

Right? Nah. Four cesarean crin could bleed out and die. That's crazy. But also, I've never. I know what you're saying, man. You one. One thing I will say, as hard as it has been going from two to three, it's like everything what you're supposed to. But I've never, ever shunned anyone from wanting to have children. Anytime anyone said, I want to have 1, 2, 3, 4, I'm like, man, awesome. Like, everything comes at an investment, a cost. They're the gifts, man. They're the greatest.

Thing. I feel like, oh, man, bro, like, just before, after we got off the meeting, literally went upstairs. So funnily enough, with kids, I found out, like, they. They drain you physically, so our batteries are dead physically, right? But emotionally, I'm so full, I'm like. Whereas with work, emotionally, I'm, like, drained because I'm like, like this mental capacity just brings me right down, right? It's so dry. It's so hard to, like, grindy work that we have to get through. It's. It's called work, right? I get back up, I see Atlas. I carry him for a bit, starts laughing. I'm like, oh, I'm so full. You know, it's instant. So mostly, like, we joke quite Often that kids strain us physically because, man, I'm battered. Like, I wake up, I'm sore in places, I'm inflamed. I walk like an old person. But then emotionally, they give you something. And so my thought process is this. I haven't regretted having two kids. And I think, you know, like, Atlas right now is like, he's like my best friend in the world. You know what I mean? Like, he's the most amazing thing. And I go, wow. Like, imagine. Imagine having a best friend that you could imagine. I didn't have him. Like, I wouldn't even have known that this friendship existed, this feeling existed. And it's kind of the way I think about kids. I think the next one's going to be even more of a best friend. And it's going to be hard. Like, it's hard now, but I feel like later on when I'm 50, 60, 70, I'm not going to regret it. And this isn't to say, hey, if you can't. Like, if you don't want to have kids, that's completely fine. This is just what I want to do. Because I realize at the end of the time, I realize I'm not going to think about how much money I made at the end. I'm not going to care. I'm going to be like, oh, I spent a million bucks here, a million bucks.

There.

Fuck. Like, that's not what I'm going to regret. I feel like when I'm on my deathbed, I just want to have my family around me, and I just want to feel that last breath with them. That's all. And so if we're truly talking about reverse engineering, I think that that ends up going well. If I only have two kids and Kerry and, like, I don't know, would it be cooler with six kids and then their grandkids and the whole pack? That would be awesome. So selfishly, that's my goal, just to. Just to create fulfillment at the end of my life. But there was another thing that I saw. Interesting enough, Patrick bet David Valuetainment. He actually did a study, which he said, look, you know, who's the happiest? Who's the happiest? And he did a study, and it was a proper study. You know, are you going to be happier with kids? Should you have kids? Shouldn't you have kids? There was an argument, and it was putting out the fact that women that are married with kids are happier than women that don't have kids. And the older they get, women, as they get Older are less happier. And women that have kids as they get older are slightly like three times as happy as the women that don't have kids. And I found that very, very interesting. I think it's worth linking and going into that because he presents a really good argument. And then his argument was like he's, he's just like, kids are so hard, but anything that comes good is hard. And I agree wholeheartedly with that. Does that make.

Sense? Yeah, man. That's the most valuable investment I think you'll ever make in life because of the energy source they bring. Like a Louis Vuitton bag isn't going to be cuddling the 60 year old power boss lady when she at night when she's old, right?

No. Rolex isn't going to mean to you, bro. You know, my watches aren't going to mean to.

Me. I saw a video actually on that note, sorry, just to expand on that, Jordan Peterson and he said, and this is true, and it's nothing against my wife or against Kerry with you, but he said children naturally want to have the best relationship possible with you. And he's like that, that's an opportunity, man that you will not get from anyone else at any other time because obviously there's a window because children become adults and they grow up. And I watched that video a few times. I sent you after this, man. I showed Corinne and we both actually got quite emotional last night because we've just come back from spending so much time with them. We're like, you know what, man? Nothing. Of course money's important, other things are important, but nothing else matters as much as family. And your children are the ones on this world, not the Crin doesn't love me. We've got an amazing relationship, but children who are your own blood looking into your eyes want to have the best bonding connection with you possible. And that's an opportunity man, that you can't waste. Lynn and I feel like our house is so much fuller. Even when Raymond was a surprise because he was an IVF going from two to three, we felt so much more fuller. So I definitely know what you mean about having more kids.

Too. I guess it's better, right? You can't imagine life without Roman. I'm still going to go back to that as well because I think like, you know the video that you sent me which is like, you know, kids are the most important thing. I absolutely agree that they're super important, but I actually think like it's, you got to have all the pieces of the puzzle Together it's like, it's like a pie that if you don't have a piece, it's not incomplete. So you might have kids, but you don't have your health, right? You're like, you don't have your health. So health is, we can fundamentally say without our health, we can't do anything. Also, too, if you don't have money, I'm gonna ruffle a few feathers with this, but if you don't have money, then you don't have a foundation to live in this materialistic world like that we call society, and society is actually driven by money. Like, you know, the core thing that keeps society running is money. And so if you don't have that, it's kind of like you're not having it. You're not having air to breathe in. You don't have money, you don't have choices, you don't have options. You can't do anything. Your life can. You can only get so far inside of your life in the world. If you choose to play in the world, that is, if you live in a civilized country that chooses to communicate. How we actually communicate with each other through money. We transact every day with money. Your bills, what, the meat, the groceries that you buy, we're constantly transacting with this thing called money. So that's really important. If you live in uncivilized situations, like if you're in the Amazon and you're a tribe and you have a different way to share shit, then the money is not actually, not, not important. It's actually like figuring out how to share, share stuff. But money is actually important as well. I, I, I look at this both ways. You know, if I, I'm a billionaire, but I don't have kids, I'm, I'm not fulfilled. But at the same time, if I'm, if I do have kids, but I haven't actually successfully produce, knowing that these kids are going to be okay in the next, whether or not I give them the money or the skills or both to take on the next generation. I also don't feel fulfilled too. Like, there's a part of me that's like, I'm going to die. And my responsibility was to keep you guys safe and to continue. Okay, that's, that's, I, I suppose what's the existence of life? It's to reproduce, okay? To go through this life to have kids. And when you have kids, you realize what's the, what's the point of life? And the point of life is to have kids and to keep it going. The point of life is to keep life going. I genuinely think that's the point. So when we keep life going, what we're trying to do is, you know, if it disappears on my watch, then I have to figure out how to keep it going. We have to breathe, we have to keep it going. That's the point. The lion wants to be the strongest, so he can. He can make babies with the lioness to keep his DNA going. Right. Like, that's his point. That's at our core. And so just moving into that, I don't know, I have a different take. I have a different take where I think it's all the whole pieces. You can't have one without the other. You know, you can't have. You can't raise kids really, really well without having a good marriage. That's one of my strong beliefs, that a good marriage is actually going to elevate how you raise your children. Not to say that divorced people aren't raising good kids, but you can do so much better as a team than.

Alone. Yeah, no, I agree with that, man. I do. And I, you know, when I talk about our children being everything, like that video I shared with you yesterday, when I look at success with my children as being. My children want to be around me when they're adults, that's a lag measure where I truly believe the lead measures are 100% what you said. Good health, good finances in order to create leverage with time and with experiences and a good foundation to raise the children. Marriage, 100%. Agree. I would see them as my leads to the lag of being, okay, cool, I am successful because I got this. Just like if you had six kids, but you've got the financial leverage to buy back time and create experiences, those six will have a phenomenal upbringing compared to maybe one that's neglected in a broken home. Definitely say that.

Man. Right. I'm telling you this right now. Like, I wouldn't even consider having more kids if I didn't get. If I didn't have my finances sorted. And what, What I mean by sorted is if I didn't know what I needed to do to make more money and.

Produce.

Okay, a hundred percent. Like, and. And this is where you and I kind of differ, right? Cause I actually had kids after, like, I was kind of financially stable. I had a company, had millions of dollars. I'm like, okay, cool. Like, we have kids now, and it's easier. Most people have kids when they're broke or, like, when they aren't. Financially stable. And I think that's the fucking hardest thing in the world. And you've been there, right? Cause you had your three kids, you had your gyms, you had no money, you were in debt. And we talk about that as being like the unicorn. And I'm like, yeah, but that, like, I don't know if you. A piece of advice I'd give to myself is. And something I Give to ABS. ABS is 25 year old, working with me, staying with me at the moment, but piece of advice I give to him is, I'm like, abs, bro, you gotta make sure you get your money situation sorted because it will make so much easier for you. You're gonna have less arguments with your wife, you're going to have less triggers, you're going to have less things to worry about. You have to figure out before you get married, you got to get your money situation sorted. Like, figure out how to produce and take care and provide. Because if you get, if you fall in love now, like, you might fall in love, you might get married, then it's super hard to kind of like work through it and then, like have to figure things out. Because there's so much more at.

Stake.

You. You can't take as many risks. And because you can't take as many risks, you will not be able to build the businesses that you want to build because you can't take risks. Like, you're like, oh, no, I need to stay safe. And the whole point of making shit happen, of being able to do big shit inside of your life is taking bigger risk. Take all the risks that you wanted to now to figure it out. Because when you have your family, you've now got your wife, who women, they will, they need emotional, emotional and physical stability. Okay, to operate. Carrie, I know that from her. She needs to know that, hey, like, the kids gonna get fed. Where are we going? How, like, can I rely on this guy to make money or fuck, do I have to go work? All right, so that was a piece of advice I'd give to Abs and my older self now, going through your journey, we said we're going to have this structured, but I think this is a good take. Going back, what piece of advice would you give to yourself? Like, you know, because you went through the journey of like, man, being dead poor, growing up, not having money, opening a CrossFit gym, going into debt for that, not having any money, Then you had kids and then we worked together and it took, you know, obviously success is still ongoing and we're never at the End. However, the skills that you've developed now and the amount of money that I see flow through and out of the bank account is probably 10 times as much as you've ever had in your life, right? Or ever seen. You know, we have AMEX bills of how much spill.

Bro? Quarter million dollar a pop.

Yeah, but this is just. But the levels that you play at, and, And I say this because I say that level of pressure, quarter million dollars just in the AMEX bill, credit card bill, that would have squashed you, like, you would have seen that, like, five years ago, and you would have just been, like, you would have just.

Frozen. Yeah.

Absolutely. Now it's like, yo, it's just. It is what it is. Keep producing, keep going, get focused. You want to play a bigger game, you're going to have bigger responsibilities. Your payroll is going to be bigger. You have. You have a bigger game. You got more people to feed, like, so there's just levels to the game. So what advice? Like, I don't know, because you went through, from this stage where you were trying to figure out while you had kids, how tough was.

That? Oh, extremely tough, man. I think, like you said, you know, you. You mentioned the unicorn. I think the unicorn story is me breaking out of this. But what I actually went through is so common. It's what, it's what almost everyone does. But being able to get out of the pit, that. That's. That's the rare case which very rarely happens, where, like, if you ask me tomorrow to start HPF with my three kids, the reason, like, it was still hard, but as they, you know, it was stagnated. As one came on board, the pressure came, but I matched it. Pressure came and matched it. Pressure came and matched it. And that's. That in itself was coupled with, obviously, the mentality that I have that you're aware of and the courage to take those risks and do it is the reason why I'm here. And.

I'm. What do I call you? What's your.

Nickname? You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be here.

Man. What are you.

Doing.

Bro? I've coached, like, I probably coached over, like, 3,000 people. And I'm, like, going, yeah, there's only a few people in a handful that would make it. You're one of them. You shouldn't be here. Why? Because you had kids. That was very difficult. You weren't dead. Okay? You had no skills. Like, when I first met you, I had no skills. Like, you know what I mean? You didn't have alignment with Your marriage. We got a name for you, bro. It's called the Accidental.

Millionaire. We're gonna write a.

Book. We're gonna write a book. The accident. You shouldn't be here. I didn't say this, bro. You shouldn't be here. But you are here. So, like, the fact that you're here in this realm, what the realm is, is the realm is you have confidence in your ability to make money regardless of the situation that you're in, because you have some value and skill sets that you've worked on that you have some value to offer people that people would pay.

For.

Okay? Most people now, men, they don't have. They don't have the confidence inside of the Valley because they haven't done shit enough or they haven't solved enough problems. I think you've gotten to a point where you go, hey, I solved this problem really well. I have this skill set I can. I can sell myself. I can provide a service that can sell myself out of any situation, regardless of the debt. So when we look at the 250k, when you saw that and you sent that to me, what was my.

Reaction? Trying to remember, did I freak the out? Oh, yeah. No, no.

No. Welcome to the game, my friend. Because that's the. That's the game that you're going to play at. And a person that has skill sets is going to go, yo, cool, that's fine. What do we have to do? How much more do we have to make? How much? I come thinking about how much we have to make. And the other mindset is, for most people is, shit. This is so fucked. This is terrifying. This is like, you know, like, I would have those bills previously and Kerry would look at them and she would, like, be so stressed out because she wasn't producing. She was behind me. She didn't have that confidence. She didn't have those skills. And she would look at it and go, fuck, this is insane. How are we going to get out of this, right? And I'd be like, it's all right, honey. Like, don't worry. We always got it paid. And she was always like, to me, Lynn, you know what? Like, after I saw that happen over and over, no matter how much debt there was on the credit card and no matter, like, you just paid it off. And so she built that just from scared to then training inside of a pattern in her that Lynn's got it sorted and I had to back myself because the worst thing that you can do when you have a lot of debt, I know we're Going on a tangent, but I think this is important is for you to get afraid and for you to. Not for you to listen to the outside noise. Okay? So like you know, anytime you go in debt, if I, if I go into debt and then I'm listening to the outside noise, I'm listening to my teams, I'm leaving on cut everything, cut this, cut that, cut that, don't do anymore. Let's cut spending. I'm like going, how do you think we're going to save our way to pay back this debt? Where's the money going to come from? Like there's only one way out, has to go forward and it's actually to innovate, create new product, service and make more money. That's the only way. And if you don't and because, and that's in that place, you'll realize who has money making skills and who doesn't. And part of your team have no money making skills, which is why they freak the fuck.

Out. People don't have a savings problem, they have an income problem. Man, you know, it's, it's not that like saving, I'm going to save my way too. That's one thing that I want, a big reversal. But Alex Cardone, oh mate, that, well it's, it's very true investor. Like I know and I'm not hacking on him man, but what got him to be successful was not the tricks inside his book, it was the book that he then leveraged to then create brand. And like that's what's taken him to the next level. Not don't buy a five dollar cup of.

Coffee. And yeah, I actually think about, I think about it this way because I had a discussion with Karen. I'm like, yo, hey, like we don't want to be rich, we want to live richly. There's a difference between actually and I think the idea, there's this idea where people have to save their way and fucking be so smart. And it's like man, the dream when you and I were 18, we were out clubbing, we were like, we want to get rich because we want to have fun, right? We want to go, we want to take out, we want to go in first class, want to go to islands, we want to buy what we want, we don't want to think about the price. That was the dream. And somewhere along the way is that we go through all this stuff and what generally happens, okay, is that we then become boring ass motherfuckers that just save money, but then we still have that poor Mindset. I think I had this revelation with Karen. I'm like, hey, like, I'd love to make my money and I'd love to spend it too, okay? I think there are some people out there that love to make money and they want to save it. And they are so frugal in their saving because every piece of dollar that comes back, they're like, I'll go save it. It's like a little game. But what happens is they're not looking at their life, they're not looking at their family, they're not looking at being able to spend for their family. Their family don't see the fru of all the labor they've put in. Does that make sense? Like, I could have 100 million in the bank account, but if I'm frugal, because every time Kerry wants to spend, I'm thinking, oh my God, I could have invested that money. How do you think the dynamics of my relationship with Kerry would be? And I think there's that trap too. There's two extremes, right? There's the extreme where you, you've got the guy on the Ferrari that he shouldn't have because he's making 20 grand a month, he's using that. And there's the other extreme where you've got the guy that's making a ton of money but doesn't live that way. And it's like, well, what's the point of this? What's the point of having this money? It's just the game. It's stupid game that benefits nobody except yourself and your own ego. Now I think I've started to just fall into the place where I'm okay with going, hey, we need to make more. So whether we need to spend more and we need to have more. And it's, it's been really good because this whole fallacy of, oh, let's save money, and then, you know, by the time we're 50, we'll enjoy it. And I look at the 50 year olds because I live in Sorrento, right? Retired people that have rich houses in like, Melbourne and then they have got holiday houses here, they come out here, see, retired people, they can't do shit. Like, they're not enjoying their life. They're just walking. They're barely walking. What can you enjoy with your life? You know, they've got money, but they're not doing anything with it. And so I didn't want to go down that route where we're making money, we're saving it for a rainy day because I Have that mindset where we can produce, yes, we're sensible, but at the same time, man, I don't want to be frugal. I don't want to live frugally. I don't want to live like, I don't know. I don't want to think, oh, my God, every time we spend money, I should invest it. Does that make.

Sense? Yeah, man. Everything comes at a cost. So mentally, yeah. Psychologically, when you're saying yes to that, you're saying no to opening your perspective to experiences, to your family, to different areas, whether it could be connection with your wife, with your children. And I've seen that destroy marriages where men have come to us in HPF and they've been so frugal with their money, they've been seen as a control freak from their wife who now sees them as boring. And she absolutely. The excitement's.

Gone. So I just. Yeah, it's the same thing, man. Like, I remember when I was 18 as well. I'm going back to 18, 16, and I was in high school, and I'm like, I just want to get a really good body, right? I was. I was fat. I was a chubby kid in high school, wanted to get a really good body. Why? Because I'm like, man, the guys that have really good bodies seem to, like, have all the fun. Like, my vision of that was, we'll be at the nightclubs, I'll be at the beach, we're having fun, we're going out for pizzas, drinks, party, etc. Etc. By the time I was 24, I had a really good body, but my life was boring. It was literally like, I'm gonna wake up a certain time, I have to have cardio. I'm meal prepping my boxes. I went out. I wouldn't drink any alcohol. I didn't even go to parties in the end because I was like, man, I need to leave. It's the complete opposite of what my dream was. And I'm like, hold a. Hold on a second. This is a little. So there's a distortion of reality. Because when what we really want is. We want. Why we get into business in the first place. Every. Every man for himself. Because it's like, man, like, I want that car. I want to have that life, that fun life that you imagined in the first place. And I think we have to make the goal the goal. We can't change the goalpost because I found myself just not being fun. Yeah, boring. Boring as fuck. So me and Kerry have this thing. We go, we Work hard, but we'll play harder. And I think it's a. It's something that I have to get conditioned to because I'm so used to working hard. But when it comes to play, I can't play for shit. Like my standards were plays like nothing. Zero play, man. Zero fun. All work. And I think at the end of my life, I think a lot back to when I'm gonna die, you know, sure, I might have worked hard. Well, you know, was he fun? Was he kind? Was he generous? Was it. What do I want people to say? What do I want my kids to think about me? What do I want my grandkids to think about me? Was he fun? Or was he just like, a workaholic? And it was like. It was fucking David Goggins, but fucking. Just intense. And that's amazing. A lot of people need that. Quite a lot of people, they need fun, they need kindness, they need, like, they need this other side as well, because that's the experience of life, you know? So it's. It's. I just find myself sometimes down these rabbit holes where you listen to so full on that, like, you activate him. And then at the end you're just like, well, that's just so intense. If I just keep doing this, what's the point of my life? If my point of my life is to keep it going with my kids, then what do I want them to remember about.

Me? And it's like, that's where we're a good team, man. Because I. I was probably all play. So we probably equalize each other. I was probably too in the fun and enjoyment side of things, which, yeah, helps me, but which I guess takes me. You know what? You. I'd probably. Sorry, Motor didn't answer the question when you said, what advice would I give? I'd probably be that it'd be very saying, hey, you know what? You'll never be if I. I'm going to do the same with Rome if you. Because I look at elite sport, man, and I wasted so much energy. Lynn, like, even when you look back, boring or exciting as your life would have been, it's like that unicorn blood, man. You can work, you can do so much. You can train three times a day. You only need four hours of sleep. And the advice I give myself is, you will never be at this stage in your life ever again. Your life is a line, man. There's a start and an end point. And maybe when you die, it snaps up into a circle and whatever happens, happens. But right now, I see that and it's that thing that you've taught me which I take every day now. I don't know if you taught.

You a lot of things, bro. What is this.

Thing? The statement you said to me man, was start with the end in mind. And I look at that and I was chasing footy because I was chasing money for sure. But ego and status and fame are like, hang on a minute. I'm never going to be at this stage again where I have this unicorn blood where I can wake up, recover, bounce out of bed, I've got no expenses, I'm living at home, I'm an athlete. My testosterone through the. What can I do now so that I can continually enjoy the next stage and have a long and fruitful life even though it's not guaranteed every stage. I'm living in a peak state of life and sports. One thing I'd say man, is sport took, I said yes to sport and it took so much energy and time for me. Roman will be phenomenal. Like look at my jeans man. Like he'll be a freak. My knowledge. But I'm not going to push him in a sport, Lynn, because I just don't believe that elite sport is the way, you know that you laugh about it like this, this white jock who made sport dealers while you were working in the background getting, getting yourself to together.

Making. You and I are so opposite. Like you and I are so opposite. So my conditioning is my, my parents conditioning which is come here, we, we came from Vietnam, we came from the war, we risked our lives, we grew six kids. You guys all studied to be doctors so that you can have a better life than us. And I, I completely get that you're the opposite where you're like yo, the future, let's go for now. Actually think you need both. I, I genuinely think you need both. Like you know that urge where you want to buy an XXM and you want that car and you want it like now? Yeah, you should get it now. Why? Because in five years you're not going to want it anymore. And even if you get it in five years or 10 years, it's like, you know, what was that? What's a car that you've always wanted when you were in high school and you thought if I had this car this would be amazing. But now if you buy the car and you use the car, it's no longer amazing because it would have made you feel a certain way based to your peer group back.

Then. All.

Right, you got to have it now. You've got to work hard. And you've got to play hard, play hard for now and enjoy the moment now. But also work, work at the same time so that tomorrow is even better than now. Like that. That's the dichotomy between the two. And so many people get stuck in the working hard, right? Because they're worried about the future, that they spend their whole life working hard. They've never had a life. Their life is nothing. Their life existence was to literally be an AI robot, work the fuck, make all the money. But so for what? Then you've got the people that play hard, but they can only play as hard as they work because the playing hard leads to all the chaos and disaster the next day for not looking out for tomorrow. The cost, the opportunity costs, right? And it's like, man, I want to get the number plates. Work hard, play hard. Genuinely, because that's a motto that I. That's a motto that I want to live by that I haven't done previously and something that I regret. So I look back to, you know, building the business, what should I have done more? I should have played harder, but at the same time kept the amount of work hard. Does that make sense? Like, I should have played hard. I should have party with Kerry, should have gone salsa dancing, should have, like, just gone to all these. We went to so many places, man, like, before we had kids and they were just all fucking business masterminds. I was just in hotels. We went everywhere we could have gone. We haven't not been clubbing together. And that's. I look back now and I think that's so sad. I think that's the saddest.

Part. You should be bumping and grinding a mate and.

Having. Bro, you know, we should be. But genuinely, like, that's the, that's the, you know, that's the. That's the idea. We went soul saving, we learned a skill together. We're having sexy dancing together. Whatever the case is, we. We haven't even gone out for. Not. That's really sad. But next month when we go to Europe, I'm going to make that out.

Go. That's awesome. No, I agree, man. Like, that's something I've struggled with and you've helped me with the whole delay gratification. Now on the opposite, I've had zero of that, which means I've made choices, which has cost me. But what you're saying, correct me if I'm wrong, is if you can be a producer and position yourself where you can still enjoy the now, but, you know, that you can create better nows in the future because of your ability to live life. You can have.

Both. You can't, you can't keep worrying about the future. So, so like, you know, but because you're not, you're not living. So the work is for the future, the work's for tomorrow. Right? We put in the work today. So tomorrow becomes better, easier, more prosperous. But if we keep putting in work, the next day, the next day, when do we ever get to check in? By the time we check in. By the time we check out. Sorry, I should say cash out, check out, whatever. What do you want to say? It's too late, you're too old. It's not the same like you having, bro. You having a Lamborghini or your X6M at 60 does not taste the same or feel the same as if you had at 20. It's a completely different experience at 20. You're like, oh, this is so awesome. It's so cool. 60. You're like, yo, what are you doing, man? You're a loser. What are you doing with that car? You know? Does that make.

Sense? Yeah, you know, it's crazy, man. When you just said that then I actually just felt a whole weight lift off my shoulders. It felt, it's so weird. Like it's, you know, not to go woo, woo. But I actually felt lighter because this HPF is hard work, man. Like working with middle aged men. So much baggage, so much. Like it's been emotionally and I can disconnect and whatnot, but it's, it's challenging and we're in a period right now of innovating our product growing. There's a load of stress everywhere. And I think not giving yourself permission to enjoy life. It gets heavy. It gets heavy, man. Like it really does. And then where's the joy, you.

Know? Yeah, I, I can tell you, like if you look back at photos a couple years ago, I can tell you like, I had a lot more gray hairs, I was a lot more stressed out. I looked older, I sounded older. Even though I'm physically older now. Like you go back three years, I was like, I was torn. I was just stressed. Right? And it's got to do with self. Stress kills. And when you're constantly working and grinding, it kills you when you're playing. And, and I just play with the kids now and genuinely play and it's so much fun. And so I would encourage people that, not to take any opposite stands. And I would encourage people to actually understand that having a really good balance is phenomenal. So if you work hard, you're going to enjoy the fruits. Why today? Because you don't get to enjoy it tomorrow. It doesn't taste the same tomorrow. So you have to enjoy a little bit of fruit today and then keep working hard so you run that leg room. I think that's big for you too, bro, because sometimes you're not wired like me. So when I tell you to hustle down and when you go nuts, you'll go really hard. But it doesn't feel good for you. Like I've just trained myself like that's how I grew up. So I'm like, whatever, man. I can like, bro, stop, stop being a. Let's go. And you're like, yeah. But it doesn't feel not quite right because there's another side of you that's enjoyed the play and enjoyed the now. I think it's that other balancing act too. So, yeah, where were we? Were we not supposed to talk about some topics? And today.

Always. We were, we were. But I think it's an important topic for I think they will probably to do a personal self assessment where they're at. Too much work, too much play, not.

Enough. Where. Where are you listening to people? Okay, and you got to play this out. Where are you listening to people whose advice doesn't actually make any sense for you to play this out in the future. So you might listen to the investor and the investors like, yo, put all your money into savings. And then like if you accumulate it over the next 10 years, you'll have like $1.6 million in your bank account. I go, whoop DE do like 10 years, 1.6 million. What are you going to do then? Well, essentially, if you're going to do that, I can tell you this is how it plays out. You've invested for the last 10 years, which means you've built a very strong habit. By the time you have $1.6 million, you're so ingrained into keeping on investing that all you want to do is invest. So you're no longer looking at life in itself and enjoying life. The game, the habit that you've ingrained, you're so conditioned to it that you're just going to keep investing. And sure, the next 10 years you'll have $8 million because of compounding interest or whatever. Whatever not. But what I'm trying to tell you is what you want today, the $1.6 million, when you finally have it, you'll be a completely different person. And what I'm trying to say is, okay, taste the fruit of what you have today and work extremely hard to have both. Don't be on one end or the other. Don't be the worker that saves and just spends your time as an entire robot and your entire existence is to work. Yet at the same time, don't just play so hard that all you do is play and you're not looking out for tomorrow. It's the balancing act. It's like that. That kind of seems to be like the sweet spot. How do you do that? God fucking knows. Like, it's a game that you got to play every day, and it's something that you have to be in tune with every day. So, Alex, you'll go through periods where we just hustle and we just work, because shit's going to get done. And then we'll go through periods where we take the foot off the pedal and we'll go catch up in the Gold Coast. We'll go catch up here and we'll just actually have some fun. There's no talk about work. Like, sometimes you'll come in and you're like, well, aren't we supposed to working? And I'm like, no, bro, it's my playtime. And you're like, you're confused because you're like, oh, I thought, I thought that when I see Lynn, it's like, work, right? And I'm like, nah, man, we're just hanging out, right? So I've just had to get better at that because if I don't, then I don't bring my family along. Like, I think as a man, if I was by myself, I could work all the fucking time. I'd be like, yo, mastermind, kids. I'm going wherever work is. As a family person, I think they give me a life fulfillment experience that we have to respect. And, and that's what made that. That's what has made me appreciate and respect.

This. Yeah, definitely. And I try and look at those two things you mentioned your children. I try and look at my life and go, who. Who would I need to be to live a life that is rich and full with experiences? And I can seek joy, but enjoy the work. Because you're right. When you told me to get down and hustle, as you know, man, I work quick and I hook in and I become obsessed with it. And. And like, there's resistance. At first I was changing something else, but then there's like, okay, cool, I'm all in. And that, that's an obs. You know, I. I look at, well, not only who am I becoming, but also who do I want to enjoy my time with and what do they value? That's where I'm looking at my children. I'm like, do they really want someone who can give them lots of money, give them lots of experiences? But he's a sour grape. And the answer is no, of.

Course. And I think I. That's why I say, like, going through and navigating through the second half of life is so difficult because it's like, yo, you can drift and you can like do nothing and you can be unintentional and you can just cruise by, but there's. That's going to come at you that's unexpected. Like, your kids are going to want something from you, your wife's going to want something from you. You're going to feel inadequate, like, you're going to have in, like, you're just going to think, like you're just going to start looking at other people and start feeling inadequate. And there's just. Life will just pull you apart and dismantle you. Or you can be proactive, which is also very hard. Like, it's what I'm saying here. I'm taking everything day by day and actually go, yo, I'm gonna like, I've got my calendar. Here's what I'm doing for work, here's what I'm doing for, for play. And hopefully I can execute on what I needed to do. And I think that's something that we teach really well, or what you guys teach really well inside of HPF is that there is fundamentally work and there is play. Like, when you're working, you're the warrior. You're going to go in warrior. Like it's called work. Like, it's like, it's like training and work. People don't understand what work is. People also don't know what training is. The definition, to train is to train and work is to work. It's hard. It doesn't have to be enjoyable. It can be. It doesn't have to be. It doesn't matter if it is. You just have to get it done. Work and training are these two things out. When you're doing a ward, when you're training, do you enjoy it the worst? If you're properly training, you are literally like, you hate life in that very moment you enjoy. Afterwards, you get the satisfaction of you did something very hard. Same thing with work. Most people don't work. Most men don't know how to work. They don't know how to put their Head down. They don't know how to actually go through shit because there's so many tools of procrastination. Facebook, YouTube, TikTok, Instagram messages taking them, taking them off the work. And so there's this concept. It's literally just put a timer on, make a time block, have one outcome, put a time on, block everything off. Okay. Like, you have to be able to work through that. Is it hard? Sure it is. It's the first time you do this, you're going to struggle. Just like the first time you lift weights, you're going to struggle. First time you do a ward, you're going to struggle. But you can get better. And if you get better, if you do the work, then you have that satisfaction in knowing that you saved yourself for another day. It's a weird kind of, you've just done it, You've saved yourself. You avoid chaos for another day. You avoid those dirty thoughts. The thing that's going to come and dismantle you, you save that. Okay, so very, very interesting.

Content. Well, this is why what you mentioned then, man, with the one hour, is so important. We are cyclical and rhythmical creatures. You know, you can't. You can't just delay and do some mundane thing forever. And you can't just do nothing and expect it to fall in your lap. It needs to be cyclical. Where and what I mean by that is you may not enjoy the work, but the work hasn't. It's got an end date. Like, it's got to have a deadline. If it doesn't have a deadline, doesn't get done. But you don't have to always enjoy it. Like training. Actually, when you asked me that, I was thinking I was like, you know, the only times I actually enjoy it is right at the end of a workout where I've broken through. Because so many people then they just sit here with life, everything, marriage, children, they don't go to. When I break through that last part, especially when I used to do competitions, even though I was dying, there was.

This. Yeah.

Disgusting. Like, there was this. Yes, yes. And the reason why I had that image, me, even though I was dying, was I'm the. That's part of the 1%. Because no one else would be. No one else would be near here. And I used to love that. The last 30 seconds of water, be like, I'm.

Special. We used to do those modern man workouts. Yes. 100 kilos, we're doing. Oh, I don't.

Know. Because the other guys are.

Dying. The other guys would like, it'd be me and Alex, Ryan, all these other fitness coaches. Me and Alex. I'm not even supposed to be a fitness. I'm not a fitness coach at the time. Right. But I'm going through and I'm going right. We have all these fitness coaches and they can't keep up with us right now because it's actually got to do a lot with mentality. What was it? It was 100 kilo bench press superset. Like 10, 10 of that or 8 of that, whatever. Then you got 10 pull ups and you got 10 deadlifts at 140. And it was do 10 rounds and then do 10 rounds in 25 minutes. At two and a half minute rounds. That was fucked. That. That there's never been. But that forces you into the work. That forces you into completing the work. I want to make one other mention because this is the dichotomy of life. A lot of guys will listen and go, what the are you talking about? Like, why are you working and playing? I think there's a dichotomy. Life's very funny, okay? Life is like this. Life is. If you enjoy the fruit of today, you will get less fruit tomorrow. And if you work hard to plant the seeds today, you'll have more fruit tomorrow. It's like that dichotomy of how much fruit you want to eat versus how much fruit you want to plant. It's kind of like this. The other day, we're making Ocean a drink. Like a super. A superfood drink. She needed some vitamins, minerals and etc. And her mom mixed it together and it tastes like, right? So we put coconut water in it, we mix it, and mom says to her, ocean, I want you to drink this. This is going to be good for you. Drink it, drink it, drink it. What do you think? Ocean says, what do you think? No, no. The dichotomy of this is this. I then understand persuasion, influence. I start taking it and I go, no, mom, this is not Ocean strength. This is too good for Ocean. I don't want to give this. This is Daddy's drink. This is special potion that Daddy's gonna drink. And I started drinking it, like fully drinking it, like I meant it, right? But obviously I didn't mean it. But of course I needed to mean it, in fact, for her to take it seriously. So she's like, what the hell? This, this is a special drink. I start drinking halfway. She then grabs it off me, she starts drinking it all. And that's the fucking dichotomy. Of life there. The ironic thing so that when we tell our kids what to do, they don't listen. When we tell them what not to do, they, they. They do the thing that they're not supposed to do, right? It's the same shit with life, okay? So it's like the thing that we're supposed to do today isn't going to give us pleasure, but it's going to save us pleasure for tomorrow, right? But then if we keep doing it, there's going to be a point in time where we keep focusing on that. We will receive no pleasure whatsoever because we just focus on doing the thing. So it's that balance of getting that right. It's being able to actually just understanding that life is a fucking shit show where it's like this yin and yang. It's like. It's like it's this mirror of against another mirror that's wedging up together that says, hey, like, you have to figure this game out. You have to raise kids. But they're not going to listen to what you say. So go figure with that. Good luck. Raise kids and build good kids. But they won't listen to. Okay, like, it's just. You'll see ironic and you'll see. You'll see dichotomies everywhere. You'll see this thing. I'm supposed to raise a kid and they're supposed to listen to me, but they're not. And so you go, look, if I'm going to raise a kid and they're not going to listen to me, and you understand that's the rule of the game. How do you operate and work in that paradigm? And so with Kerry, she was getting upset because I was not drinking it. You know, she uses force. And I'm like, I don't want to use force. I want to use influence. So I take this and I drink because I understand through selling. The art of selling, by taking things away, by not pushing. It's the same thing with sales. If you're pushy, guess what happens if you're needy. It's this dichotomy is everywhere. When you're needy, what happens? The person, the person goes away. When you don't need people, they all come. That's weird. Isn't that ironic? It's the same thing. When I tell Ocean what to do, she doesn't listen when I say, don't do this, I'll have this instead. She wants to have it. There's crazy dichotomies everywhere in.

Life. It's almost like the two sides of the same coin, isn't it? But I think what I find with a lot of people, especially the men we work with, is they get so rigid in thinking they only have to have one answer, like ends. And they don't work both sides, just like the work and play, right? So all they do is work and then the reward is something, but it's come at a cost of not reaping rewards in other areas. Or they just play the whole time. And then again there's a reward and a cost. And I think you can choose both. You, you said it perfectly, man, with the fruit and then planting the seeds. Same with our children. And this, this is a dichotomy of life. Think about our children when they're young, when they're really young, what do they need the most? Well, they need our energy and our physical energy and presence. But what gets taken the most ex that because you don't fucking sleep, you got more mouths to feed, more people look over. And there's always this, this balancing act where what you need to do is almost certainly sometimes the opposite. But it doesn't need to stay like that. It's this balancing act where you need to play both. Otherwise why are we here? You.

Know, there's one thing I want to add to that, man, and it leads on to the thing that we want to talk about. Every solution comes with new problems. And what you're going to realize is the solution that you create now to the problems that you have today, create another problem and then you can find out solutions for that. And then what happens is you'll go in cycles of a circle and it's an infinite loop again. What I mean by this is we're seeing the chaos of today with people going trans and getting confused and all this shit, right? We have a lot of problems and discussions that we have today, but we didn't have these 20, 30, 40 years ago. Why not? Well, the problems that we had 20, 30, 40 years ago, let's say 100 years ago, was the problems of survival. How are we going to survive? We have poverty, we have hunger, okay? So that's our main focus once we actually solve these problems. And I don't think anybody in the Western world has any like hunger issues or survival issues in regards to food. There's plenty. There's plenty of food. And the government's looking after you in order to give you food. Most people, we, we have now created another problem. We have too much food. And so most people getting fat, right? Because now we have abundance of food. So the problem that we created was actually man made from the fact that we didn't have any food. We came up with a solution to create more food, to write biscuits, direct long lasting food so that we can have more food. And now we're too fat. Okay? And then we have other problems now because like we're not in war with each other. That used to be a problem. So now we created peace. And what does peace do? Peace creates a lot of thinking time for people. Now that people don't actually have to do a lot of shit and they're not focusing on working or doing or going to war fighting, then they're not present in the moment. They have a lot of time to think. What happens when you think? Well, you have a lot of time to be anxious. You have a lot of time to be depressed. We have depression and we have anxiety as a result of too much fucking thinking. Why are people thinking so much? Because they have all the time. Why do they have the time? Because we solve the problem. Because they're not doing the work. They're not on the fields. You know. You know when you're farming and you're spending like eight hours doing work, there's not a lot of depressive thoughts that come to you. When you're actually doing physical labor and you're going out there and farming for eight hours a day, you don't have a lot of time because you're in the moment. You're so fucking present. The fact that people are not present today because they're not doing the work means they have a lot of time to think. This is where a lot of anxiety, depression comes from the space to even be anxious and depressed. Okay, There was a funny thing that I saw. I agree with this halfway. It's like, man, people and people in North Korea aren't depressed or anxious. Why? Because they're so focused on survival that they're so present on today. They don't have time to be depressed. They don't have time to be anxious. It's kind of like a. It's kind of like a problem that was created by too much, by too much goodness. It was a problem that created because there was just too much good in the world, right? Just like how starvation has led to us problem solving and now we're too fat. That's the dichotomy of life where you're at. There's just going to be a new problem based on the solution that you came up with. That's what, that's the point that I'm Trying to make, you know, we have a lot of problems now with trans and, like, the rainbow and what they're teaching in schools because we live in such a great place. There was a quote, and it said, hard times make strong men. Strong men make good times. Good times make weak men. Weak men make hard times, okay? So, you know, if you think about that, we're in the stage where we have good times, and we're living in such good times now that the men are weak, okay? Because good times don't force men to become strong. So weak men. So because we have good times, we have weak men. Weak men make what? Hard.

Times. Hard.

Times. Which I think we're in this cycle where it's like, we're going to go around and we have a whole bunch of weak men because they can be weak. You know, it's just natural. What you're going to realize is just the ring. And that's what I realized. That was my little epiphany. At night, I was talking to Karen, like, life's just this ring where you just go around the ring. Like, you know, does that make sense? Like. Like, I'm growing up pissed off at my parents, going, hey, why wouldn't you nicer to me? Why did you force me to be so hard? Now that I'm here, I'm like, oh, now I'm going to give all this love to Atlas and Ocean and who knows, my other kids. And then in the future, they're going to be pissed at me and they're like, dad, why didn't you make me more disciplined? You just gave me everything. Now I'm lazy. They're going to be pissed at me for the thing that I was trying to solve against that I was pissed at my parents for. Does that make sense? I was like, parents, why don't you love me? Why don't you cuddle me? Why don't you give me, you know, a great life? Why weren't you great parents? Now that I'm a great parent, I'm giving them a great life. I guarantee if I keep going on this trajectory where I don't enforce discipline, I don't give them a mix of that, they're going to come back full swing, and they're going to complain that I wasn't disciplined. I'm like, they're like, oh, you know, your grandparents. My grandparents raised you so well that, you know, your dad raised you so well, and he gave you such discipline, such drive, and I don't have that. And they'll be pissed at Me, they don't have that.

Crazy. You know what I love? Yeah. You know I love man. And I don't know if you remember, but you're the one who came up with it when you mentioned being the panda. I just love. One of our principles in becoming the chief, which we call in inside of hpf, is being able to. The chief is the man who sits in the middle, who can toggle between being the Viking when he needs to. And I created this in spite of the back of you talking about being a panda when you need to for your children. Pandas are still very strong. But when you think of a panda, you think soft, cuddly, blah.

Blah.

And. And I. Look at that, man. It's such a beautiful play. That's literally what I base my entire parenting around. And there are three core things that I instill into my children because you're right, I don't want my children to be glorified, entitled brats. It's love. They need that. They do need that from their father as well as their mother. Love values that's create. Helping them instill the spine of your family heritage. What do they stand for? And standards. How will they apply themselves in life? And I think those three important men, and I think our parents might have missed the mark a bit. My father, being Italian, immigrated from Italy when he was young. Maybe as strict as yours, maybe not. But he certainly. He beat us, man. He beat us up sometimes. Four boys and hooked into us. But he got absolutely annihilated by his father. So possibly one generation later, which would be similar to maybe, maybe your. Your parents or your father, but very similar in. In ways I think of strictness and discipline. Then I'm like, I can't. As much as I want him, man, I love my children. I die for them and I live for them. And. And I do that. I live for them, but I can't just hand life to them on a platter. And there's times where I do flick the switch. I don't belt my children, but I become. I give them the energy. Yeah, the Viking and.

That. What are your thoughts just quickly on that? What are your thoughts on belting your children? Like hitting them? Discipline. Physically, physically.

Physically. I think if you create trauma in the experience, you've missed the mark. And people might look at that subjectively. For me, trauma is a prolonged fear that extends beyond the point of why you discipline them. And also physical trauma and.

Damage.

Yeah. So what I do, I call. It's quite funny, actually. I call him Mr. Pinchy. So when my kids are really bad, I actually just give them a little pinch because it's. It's actually so easy to, you know, course correct or just to get them to understand that I am serious. But it doesn't. It doesn't really hurt them. Like, you know, you can pinch yourself. It's uncomfortable. I'm like, hey, if you girls don't go to sleep, because mainly the girls, because they sleep in the same Mr. Pinch, he's going to come in and you know, going to give you a little pinch and they're. It's so funny, Ben, because I always, you know, the one thing I do, I always make sure I leave the room smiling and laughing. So I give them what they need, but it never actually alters who I am. I leave the room and I just take my head laughing, bro.

That. That's exactly what I was going to say. If the actions that you're presenting to them is a result of your inability to control yourself emotionally in that moment, it's wrong. Yeah. If you can step away and go, no, no, no, these are. I'm gonna use these tools. Because these are tools. Like, if you, if you spank them, you give them a nudge. These are boundaries and these are tools. But you have to be in control when you're using those tools. It cannot be something personal. It cannot be something because you have a power trip. It can't be because you know they're being a brat. And you go, right, you're being a brat, so I'm going to beat you up like my dad. That's. That's. You're emotionally sparring out of control and you have no control over the.

Tool. So I think that's why they get belted. Yeah.

Agree. If you're able to step away and be stoic and not. Not taking it personally and think clearly, not be under in any emotional. Just go, hey, this is better for you in the future because we have to set a boundary. And you've crossed this boundary multiple times. And these are a tool that I'm going to use to bring you back in the boundaries. I've utilized all these other tools. I don't see anything wrong with it. I think people think about abuse and violence in terms of, you know, getting beat up. You know, you hear David Goggins just getting smashed by his father or whatever the case is, and there's countless people that have abused the tools, and we go, we can't use these tools. I actually think that some sort of physical boundary is good. Whether or not it's not beating them up. Like, I don't want to come across, like, I'm going to beat up my kids at all. I'm literally going to go, hey, I want to be stern. I want to say, hey, this is. This. I don't know, like, this. This is how I'm going to use force to create this boundary. And I know it's such an itchy topic because it can be taken so out of context. I want to bring that context in because I'm trying to navigate through Atlas and I'm trying to go, look, I don't think I would touch other ocean. I don't think I would actually touch ocean. Like, there's. There's something different. And people will go, well, you're not being fair. And I go, well, look, life's not fair in itself, but there's something about a boy and a girl where I can actually physically assert a different. I can be different with Atlas in the way I parent him, and I'm different to him. I expect different things of him than I expect of my daughter. Right. I don't know if you have that same thing or I don't know if you parent them more fairly. To me, it just doesn't make sense because they're different beings. They respond different ways. That one's. One's a boy, one's a girl. There's no trans. They're not confused about who the they are. Okay. One's got a whole lot of testosterone, and one wants to go rolling, one wants to get punched, one wants to, like, have a bit of an altercation, and the other, not so.

Much. Yeah, I agree, man. That's about. It's about the how. What are they receptive to and what's the outcome? What's the purpose? What are we trying to achieve? So if the dose response or the response rate is different, which they are. I'm different with my daughters. Then when my son Roman's primal, he enjoys the physical.

Element. I get so excited about, like, wrestling with Atlas and beating him the up. But then, like, you know, letting me go and, like, hurting him in a little bit, but not too much.

Right?

Yeah. Like, there's. I. I want to do that, you.

Know? Yeah. You know what it is, man? I see it as, like, when we're disciplining children, it's like a little. It's a little nip. And what. What that nip represents for me anyway, in our household is just a redirection of energy in the situation. So it gets to the point where even If I like, the kids almost laugh now when I say Mr. Pinchy, they half giggling. But what they now understand is this is an escalated understanding of, hey, daddy's told you four times bedtime. You know, we don't want to go there. So never. It actually rarely ever happens now. But with my daughters getting older, it's different. Like, Roman still wears a nappy, so if he's being a naughty boy, I'll give him a tap on the bump. He won't even feel it. But the energy is a slight redirection for him to focus on the situation and adjust. Because he'd be pulling Lillian's hair, and that's not okay, man. Like, I don't. I don't want him ripping my daughter's hair.

Out. There's got to be consequences. And I think if the worst consequence is being told off, then, bro, like, good luck. Like, that's it. If they recognize that the worst consequence, it's just, hey. You get told off, and then it's a scream. They're like, what?

Whatever. And they just.

Yell.

Yeah. Then all they do.

Is. So, yeah, I think that it's a tool, and it's got to be used wisely. Well, we were supposed to go through three topics today, and what we want to do is maybe in the next episode we can do this. But there's this. I always see you sending me stuff, right? So what's all this stuff that you send me on Instagram reels? We want to make these discussions because there's a lot of shit that we see on TikTok Instagram these days. I see some other stuff. You see some of stuff. And some of the shit's just ridiculous. Some of this is the most ridiculous shit that we've seen. So what's a few ridiculous things that you. That you've seen this.

Week? Yeah, a couple of crazy things, man, that I definitely want to go through. We can go through next episode. The first one.

Is. Let's play this. Let me play this. Let me play this. Right. Hopefully the sound's on, but what is this? Talk. Talk. Talk us through.

This. Let's.

See. It says, after a bit, a.

Person'S becomes moist and slippery and the clitoris becomes.

Hard. After a bit, a person becomes erect, stiff, and.

Large. Sometimes a bit of clearance fluid that.

May. Okay, so this guy's going through. It's perfectly normal. So this is a controversial book. What is that, bro? It's controversial book.

That. It's a children's book. The children have access to in their local schools. Obviously. How about these kids at this stage? Well, they'd be like our primary kids. We're not talking 17 year old sex ed. Right. And you know, we know that a lot of things that happen in America transfer in time over to Australia. And we've already seen that. There's a book that I've seen in Big W. Yes. Called the Quick Million, which is quite disgusting. It's got things I've terms I've never even heard of before, man. I'm a 37 year old grown man. It's in the children's section in Big W, which is quite frustrating only because. And I'm open to this conversation, man.

Yeah. Just on that. So this book is a book that. I saw it briefly. It's a book that is educating our kids on how men have sex with other men. Like, they literally go into.

Detail.

Yes. These boys, this is. And they call it the wieners or their willies. Boys like to have their willies sucked. And then you should. I was reading a line and I was like. And it was like, boys like to have their willy sucked. The willy gets hard, it gets big. And then there's like a big no, no is coming into it. Not exploding because this is how you sexually transmit disease. And it went into that vivid detail. And then it went into like girls also like having girls. And then like there's some trends and it talked about trends and then it talked about boys and girls together. This kind of pissed me off. It's kind of pissed off. I was, I'm like this. And this is one of the reasons why I'm very, very. When Ocean gets to five, six, where we're committed to going homeschool. I've got two years, I've committed to like figuring out where we're going to live and what, what skills we're going to give to her. Because I just don't want her to be in this like, society. I don't want this to be the norm. Okay. Because if this becomes a norm, where's the line? Where are we going to have the boundaries of the line? And the reasons why I think this is a really good argument is because we currently, we have no lines. There is no right and there's no wrong. Everything can be like. The idea is that when we accept this shit, okay, when we accept a man can be a woman and woman can be a man and you can be whatever the fuck you want, then it's like, what, what, what, what do we. And what we don't. What, what don't we Tolerate? What do we tolerate? Where's the line? There is no line. And when there's no, what happens next is now you start to go, oh, well, men can be with like 10 year old girls. Oh, why not? Because like they're just. And what are they called? Attractive minors or some.

Shit? They're called maps. Minor attracted person rather than being called.

Pedophiles. Okay? And this shit pisses me off because what happens here, guys, is when we don't have a line and the line gets like blurred and they'll start off with something like some bullshit like, oh yeah, we can blur their lines here and then they'll try to blur the lines here and then they'll blur the lines here and then suddenly you've got, you know, 10 year old ocean sleeping with a 40 year old man. And like, I'll fuck shit. Oh, like, bro, I will fuck shit up like when that comes to it. Like. And I see us moving towards that. And I think that's fundamentally the problem, that if we don't draw a line today and we don't draw a line in the sand right now, what's right, what's wrong, what do we want as functioning? And the craziest part, bro, is I go to school, I talk to people, I talk to parents. And most, if not all of the parents don't want to talk about this out loud. They don't want to say shit out loud. But when the cameras are off, when we're not recording, they're like, yeah, yeah, I don't want to do that. Because they're so afraid of being canceled. They're so afraid of being called, you know, transphobic. They're so afraid of this. And it's like, it's horrible because this is the majority of people and what we think is that the majority, what we're conditioned to believe is that the majority of people want all this in our schools and they.

Don'T. It's not even 1%.

Bro. It's not even one. But it's, it's like, if it's 1%, why is it being.

Mainstream? Well, I mean, depends if you want to call me the conspiracy king or not.

But. So there's two things. There's, there's two things. Where's the line? Because if we don't draw a line, then I'm, I'm telling you, like this minor bullshit, pedophiles with my daughter, your daughter is going to happen because there's no line. So it's like, oh, it's okay, we'll Be next year. It's just that. And then it'll be some bullshit. Like, it's just a psychiatric thing. It's a genetic thing that these guys. So we're going to allow for this portion, and then it kind of seeps in. I can see that happening. And just the second thing is, I genuinely think with sex ed, the parents got to teach the kids about sex education. The parents actually have to have the balls. Literally. All right, to go. Yo, come here. Come see me naked. Here's my dick. Here's your dick. No one touches your dick unless you allow them to touch your.

Dick.

Okay? And unless you're old enough. Here's my dick. Only I touch my dick. Okay? We gotta have that conversation. The parents have to have the conversation, not the. Not the teachers.

Why?

Because you don't know what teachers are thinking in that time. You don't know. Can you really trust the teachers to be fucking pure in that moment? I can't even trust. Like, I wake up in the morning, bro. I'm sleeping on the bed with Ocean. I wake up with a heart on. And I start to fucking feel uncomfortable. So she's my daughter, right? And this is just, like, absolute real talk when we're talking about sexual activity. I don't. I don't trust anybody because we all fucking animals. And you and I both know when it comes to sex, forget about the brain. The hormones are taking over, okay? So I don't want to, like, two things. I think parents, we should draw a line, and parents should actually educate their own kids on sex ed. Like, what does it actually mean, have that conversation? Why? Because, well, you're putting yourself in a sticky situation. You know what I mean? Like, who, like, is my teacher trained in sexual education? Do I want their beliefs to be imparted, you know, on. On my kids or the other possible conspiracy king? So what do you think's.

Happening? Well, the problem I have, man, is, you know, free will goes hand in hand with the freedom of choice. Now there's this Pride Month. There's all these other things around this. It get pushed. It's getting forced onto us a lot. I say it a lot. There's another video of a Coles truck. And it's got the LG The. The Alphabet people's flag on the Coles truck. There's a new. There's a new Ford. There's a new Ford ad. And it's so ironic. It's like, how to destroy 120 years of Ford in one minute. And the trucks both have mud on them. And when one goes through the water and gets cleaned, it literally has the LGBTQ flag. And then it's got redefining tough. And tough is all the LGBTQ colors. And the problem I have, man, is we don't go out as a majority forcing other. You want to do that, and that's your life. Fantastic. That's what you believe. Awesome. Good for you. Good luck with life. That's your choice. That's your free will. And I respect your right to have that choice. But what I don't respect is when that's pushed or forced onto me, onto us. Where's the last time, Lynn, you've seen a book around the family nucleus? When's the last time you've seen a book around how amazing fathers are, how amazing mothers are? Children, especially in the elementary stages or primary, coming through, talking about, this is it. When do we have a celebrate Monogamy month or celebrate married or let's celebrate Parents Month? And they're talking about trying to take away Mother's Day and Father's Day and call it Person's Day. And like, I see all that, man. It's not a cons. When I talk about conspiracies and I laugh with a few with you.

Really, what do you think's happening? Why. Why are they trying to do this? What. Where are we moving.

Towards? Like, I think we're moving towards a weaker society, like you said. And when you look at what weakness, if something's weaker, isn't it easier to control? And. And I don't. I don't know who's pulling the strings. It could be the government, could be other people. But when I look at it, it's not about conspiracies. It's just observing actions and outcomes. And the actions and outcomes I'm observing, Lynn, over the last five, ten years is families are getting weaker divorces through the roof. Families disconnected. Children are being mentally conditioned to think of other possibilities other than a penis is a penis and a vagina is a vagina. Why should they even be thinking about that? Why are you even on a podcast fucking talking about that? That is a problem. Like you said, new solutions with technology and time brings boredom and new problems. And honestly, man, I think it's destabilizing the family and dividing and.

Conquering. To be fair, I mean, selfishly, the reasons why I'm talking about it is because I've got a vision. I've got a vision for the future. I've got a vision for, like, parents who align in the same values, who Understand the man's role, the woman's role, who understand that their kids, they want to bring up their kids and they just don't want to go through this bullshit. I would like to open schools. I would like to build schools, private schools. Like, I kind of think like X Men, Xavier College, whatever it is, like whatever X Men tutorial is. I want to have schools where people can come in, where families are valued, where women understand that they're great nurturers. I don't want guys teaching in these schools. I want to have men role models for certain activities. But the majority should be nurtured through women. And women understand, like there are some traditional. There are some key traditional values that simply work and why they've worked, why we call these people go, oh, but you're too traditional. I go, no, these are values that kept us alive. Why it was actually created was because this is how tribes actually survived by having the men hunt and the women nurture. And this is how we've actually created. And if we don't have this moving in the future, then we're not going to survive as a species. We're going to like, be either one plugged into machines in the matrix and be all controlled or number two, have be genderless. So we're just like, I don't know, just we become. We. We don't actually recreate with each other. We just offspawn springs and anybody can be genderless or whatever the case is. I would like for us to carry on the tradition into the future because I know that at least we have a very good chance of survival, freedom, autonomy and all of these things. My selfish thought is I want to make enough money so that we can open up schools so that you have an alternative place to educate your children with certain values. I think right now, like, cool. Anyone that wants to do that, you can do that. Anyone that wants to. And I genuinely think that because we have such open worldwide, you know, we have the Internet at our fingertips, what happens is that there's no barriers anymore. And I think generally what we need to do is the people that want to operate this way go live with all the people that want to operate that way. The people that want to operate traditionally and build great families should all gather around together. And the people that want to be socialists should literally go and be socialists together. The people that want to be capitalists should go be capitalists. And I think what's happening is we're arguing because we're all mixed up and we've all got these all different ideas. And it's like, yo, why don't we just begin to separate? Because I don't want to be involved in what you're doing. So fuck, like, let me leave, Let me carry my crew. Leave us the fuck alone. And you guys go do that. And let's see how that plays out. It's not an ego thing. It's more like, yo, I just want to live my life with my values, the way I sit and see the world and connect with people that see that and live it with them in the tribe. And I feel like because Internet, society, social media has become so spread, we have all these ideas, we can be plugged into the US being plugged into London. There's no boundary anymore. What happens if we don't have any boundary? Every idea becomes an idea. And, and it's like, yo, I'm sure there are all good ideas, but let's just play it out. I don't want to be involved in this. I would like to build my family this way. And I would like for everyone that has similar values, that shared values, come and join our community. Right? I'd like for you, if you have, you know, your, your appreciative of, of the trans movement and you want everyone to be trans and you want your kids to literally go through surgery if they're 10, go do that by all means, but do that and congregate with that tribe and let's see how that plays out. And then I want all the communists who want to be communists to go off and live with the communists and the socialists, go do that too. And then just see how it plays out. And what you're going to realize. The dichotomy of this is that every thing, every, every solution that we're presenting has a problem. And the thing I want to leave with is, which problem are you willing to deal with? Have you played out what problems you're going to have? Like capitalism in itself has a problem, right? Socialist has problems, Communist has its own problems. Which problem do you want? Which problem do you want to live with? So, and that's what everyone should be thinking about the trans. I don't see that playing out. Well, I don't see it for a couple of reasons, especially when you allow kids to take away their genitals. Like, it was the craziest thing. The craziest thing I saw was, you know, kids under 18 aren't allowed to drink. Kids under 18 aren't allowed to drive. Kids under 18 aren't allowed to enter a nightclub. Kids under 18 aren't allowed TO go and go do the doctors and sign off on their own shit, but kids under 18 can go and do surgery and cut their dicks off. Like, it was the most backwards thing that I've ever.

Seen.

So you think they're making society weaker? Men are easier to control. We're going to control it. I generally think in the future. I generally think that's, that's the government's always trying to control us. I genuinely think that that's whether or not they want to do it with electric cars, they can switch off your cars with things like neuralink, they'll be able to control us as well. I think it makes it easier. I think for people that don't think that we're moving into that territory, it's a little bit naive. It's a little bit like if the government wants to control us and they want to switch us all off and make us all controllable for our own sakes, sure, there are some pros. Of course there are some pros like they can control. When the governments look at things, they look at what's the human population, how do we control deaths, and how much do we spend to lower the cost per human, per human life? They're looking at these big numbers and they're looking at us like a big computer program that they actually like, get to spawn. And they're just making decisions, and they're making decisions on let's reduce the death rate. And then they're just controlling this for the greater good. Unfortunately, that comes at losing our autonomy, our freedom, and our way of enjoying life in itself. We then become boxed in. You know, we then become. We lose autonomy. We don't have a life experience. We have, and everybody is doing the same shit experience. The government, however, look at trying to optimize for things. So I don't think that they have a bad intention. I just think that they're trying to optimize for the same thing, but they're forgetting what humans really are. I think that's dangerous. Okay, like imagine this, bro. Imagine you were in control of a billion people and you have the data to go, yo, like a million people are dying every day because of this stupid thing. Instantly you want to control that, right? And you're figuring out how do I control all these things to optimize for this thing? And I think that plays out in itself. Who, who gets to make these decisions? I don't know. I haven't thought about. But I generally think there's, there's both happening. It's just happening because it's moving towards that way. But at the same time, there has been some certain seeds that have been planted. Possibly. Yes, as.

Well. Yeah, for sure. I mean, you look at the family stuff, mate, and it's just, it's hard to. It's hard to see that and take it for anything else other than there have been severe negative outcomes when it comes to children, stability in the household, the family nucleus. You know, you brought up some great points. What's the difference between a conspiracy and the truth, mate? Six months. I think I'm rubbing off on you a bit, Lyn. There's some good points you made there that I.

Haven'T. There are, but I, I want to just, you know, think like if you ran the government, what would you do, right? Put yourself in control of a billion people and go, okay, well, yeah, here's what I would do. If I'm trying to save lives, if I'm trying to like, make things more autonomous, like if, if I'm trying to. If people are dying on the streets of cars, I'm trying to get everyone to move to electric cars and they don't drive anymore to reduce the rates, right? But there's a lot of control there that happens. There's a lot of things that I would control if I was a one man government with a billion people under my watch. Like, I'm looking at the data, right? Unfortunately, you don't look at the ground level, you lose your way of life there. There are pros and cons. What I think, what I think the solution is is building our own shit. Like at the end of the day, building our own school, like going, hey, I don't want to rely on this anymore. I choose to homeschool. But there's another level. It's like, okay, I choose to homeschool and then give Ocean and Atlas skills of going to music class, of going to art class and bringing the best people in so they can actually learn proper skills of how to make money, of how to grow plants and trees and how to farm shit. Like actual proper skills. Yeah, like, I don't. I think. But that's at that cost. It's going to come at a cost and it's not going to be cheap. It's going to be fucking expensive to bring in the best skills because it's going to cost a shitload of money. That's just the truth. And that's also why money is important. Because if you don't have money, you. You like, you don't have choice. So I don't have money, okay? This is why money is important. You don't have money. You're sending your kids to kindergarten or school, public school, or the government pays for them. You don't have money, so government pays. So you don't get choice, okay? You just go through the curriculum. Don't be pissed off. For the people that say, I pay my taxes, it's like, yeah, but you don't really, comparatively to the big earners, right? You still pay tax, but what money allows you to do it allows you to bring in choice. Choice of, I don't want to take them to school. I will move to a different country. I will find the teachers, I'll pay the teachers, and we'll set up our own school the way that you want. So I think there are a lot of pissed off people at the same time, these people are pissed off. You have no money, so therefore you have no choice. You're just pissed off. You're just complaining. I think there's an urge to go, okay, well, why don't you build a dream, a goal, a target to make money for an actual cause. Like, when you have purpose, you'll make more money. I think the next five years, me and Kerry are going, yo, we're going to Kindy is great. I love Kindy. They get to meet kids, a lot of play. They get to go on the playground. There's not a lot of this teaching or this indoctrinating bullshit. I think when it starts to get a little bit icky is when they turn 6, 7, 8. That's kind of like orange, okay? 9, 10, 11, that's red. Like when you're in there by 12, 13, 14, it's game over. It's already conditioned. We need to start at home, get Ocean out by six. That gives me three years. Then at least I can bring in the people to pay for their experience. Because so many people are worried, like, what happens if I homeschool? Where the friends, where the teachers, what are they going to learn? Great. Nothing if they're going to be with you, right? But we got to bring in the teachers. We're going to find the people to create the school. And so, I mean, my vision is to create this thing, organize it, put it together, vet out all the teachers, give them all skills to learn, and then go, who wants to come in? And then it'd be like the biggest private school ever. It's like, this is the private school, but not the bullshit private school. It's like proper private homeschooling where we actually learn skills. We teach values, which. It's proper skills, so, you know, they're not learning useless shit. And then they're going to learn about life. They're going to have a lot of fun, they're going to play and they're going to learn proper.

Skills.

That. That's going to help them in the.

Future.

100. That's the goal. That's. That's where Hate school is headed as.

Well. Absolutely. I'm all in on that. We need to have a button we press every time we say all in and it comes up with a big explosion or something. Yeah.

It'S. All right, well, let's wrap this up because we got. We got some shit to do. But we will see everybody on the next episode. What? What? Is there anything you'd like to leave? Like one last thing for the audience before we go? The men, the children, the.

Women. Yeah. I think the biggest thing is just piggybacking off what you're saying, mate. In helping people watching and listening to this, understand that you've got such limited time with your children. You need to look at what they're focusing on, where their energy lies, and understand that technology to some degree is not killing, but it's certainly inhibiting tradition and tribes. And that's the hard part. You talk about London, you talk about other parts of the world that we're buying into, but we're not even physically there. And. And I believe technology is a great tool that can be leveraged. Like right now you're having access to this. But I think getting back to the fundamentals of what it actually means to live a life and what life you want to live with yourself and your family and aligning those people like what you shared, Lynn, with the school idea. I'm all in on that, man, because I feel exactly the same way where I just. There's enough problems and hardship in the world. I don't want to be hassled with all the other. I just want to live my life and live a life filled with joy and.

Love. Really so hard being a man, providing for your children and your family, making money. It's already hard trying to stay connected with your wife, being intimate, connect, fucking, like, aligned for the rest of her. It's really hard dealing with the kids, let alone all this other bullshit that we have to deal with. Okay, like that's.

That's.

That. That. That's the craziest part. Well, let's wrap this up, guys. If you shared. If you enjoyed this, please share this with a friend. Family member, someone that you know you find can relate or add some perspective in here. If you'd like to comment down below from wherever you're watching this from and we will see you on the next podcast episode. That is all in. Bye bye.

Everybody. See you guys. Well, that wraps up another episode and just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you. And then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart and there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes four or five times and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. And also if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You've got listen to it, write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak them, believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you can remember and make sure you consistently learn and relearn what is it's true and what is it is important to you in your heart. Take care, have an amazing day night weekday weekend and I'll see you for another one soon. Cheers.