227. Your ONLY Mission As A Father

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And we alive?

Are we alive or we are live?

We are alive. We are alive, baby. It's been a while and I. We don't actually have the same background.

That's disappointing.

Mine. Mine's real. Mine's real. A lot's happened, Al. Why have we not gone live for the last two and a half months? What's happened since the last time we've gone live?

Oh, mate, we're in the Bahamas for six weeks. That was good.

You were too, weren't you?

Yeah, lots of work, man. Lots, lots of upgrades. Lots of evolutions. When it comes to the next step, with all in with fatherhood, with what we've been building. Lots of building, man. Well, a lot. A lot.

Yeah. Partially because, you know, I moved up. I moved the house from Victoria, or in Victoria, moved up on the Gold coast where it's nice and sunny. Look, the lighting's amazing. My tan, I'm glowing. Anyway, bro, I hope you've been well and I'm excited to get back into this. I've just had a period of time where we've just moved up from Victoria up to the Gold coast, had some time to settle in, explore the place, staying in Palm Beach. You actually came down to visit, which was extremely nice. But we've got a mission. We've got a mission to accomplish today. You've got the Vietnamese brother, You got the half Italian in the yellow. We have six viewers on welcome. Six amazing viewers. Good to have you watching. And we are going all in on fatherhood. What does it mean to be a father? What does it mean to be a father? It's funny. It's so funny. The other day, and the reasons why this topic came up for me was I was sitting at a park playing with the kids, and I was holding Atlas, and I'm holding Atlas in a little carrier so I can go to sleep, and this lady comes up to me and she's like, oh, you're such a great father. You're such a good dad. Because it's just literally me and everybody else around the playground was with their mums, and there were like, two dads standing around. And I just noticed all the dads getting complimented, like, oh, isn't he such a good dad? Isn't he such a good dad? And I just thought to myself, fuck, is that. Is that. Is that the level that we've been playing at? Such that if a man spends time with his kids just holding a baby, like, the man's like, fuck, again, you're an amazing dad. Could you just spend time with your kids? Is that the level? Like, initially I was like, oh, thanks. You know, that's, that's, that's cool. I felt nice. But I just thought, what level have we come to as fathers such that our standard is if we're simply holding our children, if we're playing with them, that you're then recognized as a great dad? And is it. The second question is, how is it being a great father if I spend time with my kids? Is that the definition of a great father? And so this is a topic that you and I explored on our 3am conversations as we've been kind of grinding through the next iteration and evolution of our journey. But I'm gonna. I'm gonna hand over the mic to you. I'm gonna shut the fuck up and you may talk.

I like when you talk, man. You know, it's. You have such way that just makes me laugh because you paint the obvious so, so clearly and so well. Maybe I'm too, too aggressive at times in the message, but it's so true, right? Like it. And interestingly enough, which we can talk about you feeling like you were dying on the weekend, because that's probably a great story to share too, when it comes to what led to the epip having a clear and tangible definition of what, what fatherhood? What, What a great father actually looks like. It's interesting because when you share that story, I was the same. I look and it's like, there are so many times where it seems like mothers have become fathers and fathers have become mothers. So we find ourselves in the modern world not only obligated to, but absolutely diving in and spending more time with our kids where we can. Right? But is time equal value? Does time equal purpose? Does time actually equal the role and responsibility we should play as a father in this world?

And, and, and as I pondered on that as I sat down and I said, like, you know, I, I call you a great dad because every time I hang out with you, like, I've taken on the, the, the society's definition of what, what a great dad is. Because when I hang out with you, you're always, you're good with the kids. You know, he's good with the kids, so therefore he's a great dad. Right? Like your patient with your kids. You're very kind, very nurturing. The kids love being around you, and it's good, fantastic. You, you know, you, you wear that Persona because everyone keeps telling you. And the reality is, I don't think we've actually defined the role of a dad or a father. And as, as you, you and I, you know, have our businesses where we're very articulate on our roles, responsibilities for people in certain different roles. And, and, and I think the role of a father, you know, as it sat down and it dawned upon me even more. I sat down to this epiphany on. When. Saturday. On Saturday.

Literally sitting down.

I had gastro. I was sitting down on the toilet. Order at Gastro because Atlas had, I think me and Atlas had, like, some food poisoning. He had gastro, I had gastro. I was sitting down. I couldn't get out of bed all day. Muscles were numb, weak, man. I was vomiting and I just thought, like, you know, I just don't, like, you know, when you're just so sick, you have no care in the world about absolutely anything. You're just like, I just don't care. Like, it's such a basic primal need. And I sat there at that very moment and I thought to myself, if I die, like, literally, if this, like, if this is the end of the line for me because it's just, you know, gastro is taking me out. Like, man, if I died, what did I leave Ocean with? What did I leave Kerry with? What did I leave Alice with? Did I win as a father? And I was like, fuck, no, I haven't won. And I genuinely think I haven't won because they would probably go six to 12 months, okay, on their current lifestyle, six to 12 month trajectory, living eating organically, you know, having a nice house, the nice, nice house to live in. They'd have bills to pay. But in inside of the bank. In order for them to sustain their life, they'd probably have a year of Runway before Terry would have to go back to work or she'd have to marry another man. I thought to myself, fuck, she's probably gonna. I wouldn't blame her if she married another guy who would then have to look after her, you know, because she just wanted to be a mom to the children. And so as I sat there, I thought to myself, fuck, I failed. And in that moment, that. That revelation, that realization that I had failed to fulfill my duty as a father, as a. As a. As a father to. To my. To my children and as a man to my wife. In that moment, I failed. And I realized. I just thought to myself, fuck. So many guys would look around at the lifestyle that I have. You know, we make millions of dollars in our businesses, and yet still I failed. And that dawned upon me because I thought, fuck, if I'm failing, shit, how many other men are failing? We're all fucking failing. And it started to become clearer and clearer. Like, as. As a. As a father, my role. Like, this is all dawning on me as I'm sitting on the toilet, vomiting, having a shit, having vomit come out of my ass, right? Like, just burning through both ends. I'm sitting there and I'm just like, I failed. I literally failed. And in that moment, I'm like, what is the role as a father? It's to protect and to provide. First, to be able to provide financially for the kids and the family. And second, we had to obviously protect them. Now we don't have to protect them as much physically through here because, you know, we've actually evolved as a species. But I feel like the protective mechanism comes now through mental protection, through, like, protection of the mind virus, where everybody just talks about shit and nobody's actually just thinking about what they want to do, right? So it was such a very interesting revelation in terms of. Wow, like, as a father, there is a clearly defined role. Do you want to go more into it? And then we had this conversation on Monday morning at 3am I'm like, I call you up. I'm like, yo, you up? You're like, yeah, I'm up. I'm like, all right, cool. Let's have a chat about this. There is a clearly defined role of what it means to be a father. I think society has led us to believe that being a great father is simply a father that plays with the kids, goes around, holds the kids, helps out at home, you know, helps the misses Cleans Cleans. Cleans the house, folds the clothes, put away the dishes. And that's. That's what we're. That's what's perpetrated as being a great father. Right? And then we kind of clearly define the role. And I said. I said to you, hey, man, the role of a father. If we're looking at this from a business perspective, a CEO. The role of a CEO. If I'm a CEO, what makes a great CEO isn't the fact that the CEO rocked up to work or talk to the employees. What makes a great employee isn't the fact that the employees just rocked up to work. Right? But that's what seems to be the norm for father. They can just rock up and they can just be around with the kids, and they're a great father. But a great father has a duty and a responsibility to protect and provide for his family. And the very first thing I thought I was doing was I thought, man, I'm providing for my family. I'm providing them a great house here in Palm beach and Gold Coast. Carrie's got a Tesla that she gets to drive around. She doesn't actually have to work. I pay a wage from the company she's got, she's provided for. It wasn't until that gastro moment hit, and I was like, she's got a year. She's got a year of living her current lifestyle until she has to go back to work or she finds another man who can provide for her. And I don't have a problem that because I'm dead. But I'm just thinking, shit, she now has to endure another man's bullshit. My kids have to endure and work together around all his bullshit, his triggers, his traumas, all of that shit that we work together on. And so it was clearly defined that, hey, I'm not providing. Like, there was this moment where I'm like, you think you're doing good? No. No. You're like, you're. You need to make 100 times more than what you're doing right now in order to fully fulfill your role as a father. And then the protection piece came out from. Am I able to physically protect them? Well, if something happened, yeah, okay. I go to the gym. I'm quite built. I've done a little bit of fighting before, but can I really protect them? Okay. From the physical component? Sure. I think genuinely, I could hold my own. And then there's that other component where we're not in a physical warfare right now. We're no longer in a physical warfare. We're kind of in a mental warfare with, you know, propaganda being thrown at us, with LGBTQ books being thrown at us in our children from early ages with all this woke shit that's happening all around the world. Okay, so we're in more of a mental warfare. Can I protect them from that? Can I protect Kerry from being in the Gold coast and not getting persuaded to get a boob job, fake tits, a fake ass, fake lips, fake eyes, fake ears, fake nose? Can I protect her? Can I. Can I create that environment to protect my wife from actually getting her mind consumed and feeling like that's what she needs to do? Can I protect my kids? Can I forge their mind from social media and TikTok and Instagram so they don't grow up thinking, I just. All I want to do is be like a TikTok superstar. Can I protect them? And I think that that. That then became the only duty that actually mattered. And that was my epiphany and realization. As I had gastro, it's so funny. Literally, as I had gastro, I was like, if I died, did I, did I, did I fulfill my duty? And that. That's literally how I came up with the role. And I'm like, fuck. We. We as men, as fathers, there's such a noble responsibility that we have on our shoulders to take on the responsibility. It's the hardest fucking burden in the world. Like, both. And it's. It's as men, it's the hardest role for a man. And as a. As a. As a female, the hardest thing is to actually raise your kids and to sacrifice your whole identity. It's a game of sacrifice, man. This thing between men and women and children, it's a game of me sacrificing my whole entire life just so that I can actually look after them. And from Kerry's perspective and Corinne's perspective, it's sacrificing their self identity, okay. To, like, give to them. They literally sacrifice. If you've seen any. Any mother breastfeed, it feels like the life force is being sucked out of them. Right? And that's the whole definition. Would you want to add anything in as I continue.

That was a solid 33 minute spill, man. That's really.

Appreciate it, man. Appreciate it. That was the epiphany. Yeah.

It's. It does feel like death, though. When you get gastro, man, that is a real poof. You certainly would be looking back going, nothing else matters right now. But through. Through that, the revelation I got from. From when you shared that was, well, yeah, obviously we have our own unique strengths and whatnot. But I'm like, shit, man, if Lynn's failed, I've certainly failed. And I look back and it's not just financial too. It's across the board of the fundamentals that makes it the greatest reward as a father in this world. Lyn. But a reward that isn't guaranteed, that's filled with daily sacrifice. It's so fucking hard, man. But this is our duty. It's our obligation towards the fruit that our children can bear and the role that we have as real fathers in this world to protect and provide. Physically, of course, you must be competent and dangerous enough to at least even if you don't ever have that confrontation to ward off any chance of that happening. You know, I remember seeing a video roll around of a guy who was a pedophile and got released, was on a documentary and he spoke about how he used to always target the families and the children that showcased weak, non active fathers. And I was like, wow. And I've seen that on a few different videos around the States going around. It was basically, yeah, so the Predator would aim for children who lack a father that has that, that strength and power, so to speak. But not only that, man. The mental warfare in today's world. And it's nothing against the people, there's nothing against the Alphabet people who want to keep to themselves. But it's not about that. It's about the propaganda. It's about the multiple machines of radio, television, all these different formats. Even the education system that is, that is really attacking and really dividing and conquering the family nucleus.

I look at one of those things I look at provide as financial stability. Can I provide for them? Can I provide? We look at provide financial stability. I think the other thing is be able to provide with them emotional support as well. So genuinely, I look at Kerry as an I in a partnership. Am I able to listen to her, to able to get her to able to understand what she's going through, the sacrifices that she's made, the difficulties that she's facing through, and just hold it right? Just be able to be able to be that year. When I look at protect, I mean, the thing is for me and our family, and I know that this is something that you want to aspire to is actually like we want to privately educate our kids. I don't want to take them to public school. I don't want them to take them to normal school. I want to be able to choose and allow them to choose the things that they would like to learn and be very mindful about it and privately educate them. That means right now, as I'm shooting this podcast with you, Kerry's out there taking Ocean, who's three, to gymnastics class, and then she's going to go eventually later on to a music class, and then she's got art school, and she's got a whole syllabus now. Most people don't have the luxury to do that because they haven't recognized or taken on that responsibility as a father to provide. I think the reality is most of us are failing at protecting and providing for our kids right now and family. Most if not all, me included. If I look at myself inside of that hat, I'm like, wow, man, I need to make 100 times more. I need to level up 100 times more as the man I am today in order to be able to fulfill my duty so that if I do, if Gastro does take me out, I can actually be like, you know what? Yeah, they're set. That's good. And it's such a. It's. It's so different when you have this level. When you take on this nobility almost, when you take on this responsibility and nobility, you suddenly rise to different heights. You now have a why. Everybody talks about having a why, right? Very few men can find whys, which is why we're so lost and confused, because we have no vision. And I think there was a great quote, without a vision, men would perish. And I think right now, a lot of men and fathers are perishing because they have no vision of who they need to be in the relationship. They're being the man that the women wants them to be, and that's. Women don't fucking know what they want. Women need men to generally lead them because they don't know they want everything. They are highly emotional creatures and lovely creatures that want absolutely everything out of life, and so they should. But generally, they want a man to be able to lead them to go, hey, this is where we're going. This is what we're building. Here's how I'm going to protect you, here's how I'm going to provide for you, and here's what I need you to do to look after our children and to make sure that they get the nurture and the comfort and the support. And here's how we're going to work together. And as soon as a man knows his roles, then he can stop trying to play into the female roles, like cleaning in the kitchen and doing all this, you know, doing all the feminine roles that we're perpetrated to believe that that's what a good father does, you know? And it's crazy because I asked Kerry right now. Kerry's got an amazing father who has. Who runs a fish and chip shop in Victoria. And I asked her, hey, is your father a good father? And she's like, he's the best father. Okay, so this is. This is what our children are going to say about us in the future. And I'm like, but he works seven days a week, 12 hours a day. And she's just like, yeah, he works hard for us, and if he didn't have work, he'd be with us all the time. But he works hard so that he can give us a life. And she knows that he's the best father because he's working for the family where his intentions are. It's not because he's working and then he's fucking around with his friends and he's selfish. He's literally every moment of his existence is there to work for the family, to give Mum, to give his wife and Kerry the best life. And so she knows that's the role model of what a man should do in family. She knows. And now, did her father spend any time with her at all? No. Missed all of her graduation. The only time, like, the only time he took off to come was the only time he's taken away from work was our wedding day. And maybe the day Atlas was born that he took a day off. Outside of that, there are no days off for this guy who gets to define whether or not you're a good father. Guess who? The kids. And so it's really interesting as we dive in, that as a society, we've defined what being a good father is. And I genuinely believe we are misguided. We have the wrong metrics. We have no idea what most people don't know because we're just told that we're a good father for fucking doing things like hanging out with our kids at a park. That doesn't make you a good father. That's like. That should be given. That's like icing on the top. But the responsibilities, the roles, the duties that you have as a father to protect and provide, Are you dominating and you're winning in it? Just like as if. If I was going to hire you inside of my company as a father, these are the roles. This is what you need to do. You're going to come inside of my company as a father. Your role as a father, you need to protect and provide for this family. And I'm going to judge you on your ability as a father to protect and provide for this family. And that's how you'll be measured. Not whether or not you spend time with them, not whether or not you laugh with them or not. You have to fulfill your duties first. I genuinely believe, Al, that if a man fulfills his duty, shit like divorces won't. Won't exist. That will eradicate 99%. The thought that Kerry would have to ever cheat on me or want to be with another man because I've actually, like, created the life for her. I've set up the family. It's everything that she's ever wanted. Right. I'm creating that life for her. Why would she ever cheat if she. As long as I feel appreciated, as long as she respects me and she respects the work that I'm putting in for the family and I respect for her, and there's no reason to be resentful. It's like, hey, you've got your duties, you've got your, your responsibilities, you've got your burden over there. And I know she's got her burden. So a lot of the chaos can, can. Can literally disappear. And it's just getting back to the roles of how a family unit traditionally has run. And it's not like, honestly, like, I just look at Western culture today and I just go, man, it's dismantling of tradition, which has run families quite well. Like, I quite look at this and I look back where the father works and the mother nurtures the kids. And then right now all I see is, like, the fathers aren't producing, making as much, so the mom has to go to work. And then guess what? They put the kids in the childcare and the mum works just to pay for the childcare. And the mum would rather that because the mum's been sold on the idea of being a boss bitch. Right? Yeah. So that's where we talk about protecting the mind. Because as long as the woman becomes his boss bitch, no one's looking after the children. And as long as the man's not protecting and providing, then the mom has to go out there to provide. No one's looking after the children. So there's this game and I suppose everybody starts at this level where it's like, what do you do next? Well, you do the best that you can and you set yourself a goal and you go, hey, I'm going to own my role. I'm clear on my role. Does that make sense? Will you accept the mission of taking this on? Will you accept the mission of going, you know what? Here's my role as a father. Here's. Here's, like the moment, right? The moment we had our first baby. That's whether or not I wanted it. That's my role. Whether or not I'll choose to accept it is my role. And if I choose to accept it enough, that's the most fulfilling fucking thing in the world. And if I avoid it, I genuinely believe it's the most painful thing in the world because there's so much chaos that comes with avoiding the responsibility. It's like, what is my purpose in life? Funny enough, your purpose in life is just to keep life going itself. To reproduce, to protect and make sure the next generation goes on to the next generation. Could it be that simple?

Yeah. It's so true. And just at that root level, man, there's nothing more honorable or that gives us more purpose than that of what you've just described. And I'll tell you what, it's made the 3am Wake ups really easy. Because as soon as I wake up now, I'm like, of course I'm getting out of bed. Why the fuck wouldn't I? Like, it's so strange, Lyn, how. And you know, like, obviously both you and I are. Our baseline is already high performing, right? But then with just. With that extra reminder and for a lot of the men watching this, like, you already know deep down, it's not like we're creating something new. It's not like we're coming in and going, hey, we've just found this. This. This practice.

We're just awakening, giving you permission to awaken what's already been inside, that's been confused, but that's been confused in your mind by confused people. We're just all confused, okay? We've been fed all these things. We're all confused. Your neighbors, confused. The people that you listen to, confused. I'm just bringing you back into what you know so that ultimately you can build a family that you're proud of. And it's that it's the only thing that you have in life. It's your family. It's the result. It's the fruit of all of your work, your labor. It's. It's the thing that you're going to. The thing that on your deathbed that when you leave is, what did my family think about me? What impact did I have on them? What did they say about me? Will they carry on to the next generation? Hopefully. The ideas Your friends won't carry it on, but your family will. So, really being able to sit back and go, hey, like, are you ready to accept your mission as a man with a responsibility to become a father, to protect and provide, or are you willing to accept the narrative that maybe that's too old school, that you don't need to protect and provide? So that was the gastro story. And that. That's actually, it's really funny. It's kind of what's led me onto, you know, these epiphanies and, and more importantly, just the next evolution of, of life. Yes. What do you take from that, bro? Like, what, what came into your mind when, you know, I said that? I was like, hey, oh, man, this is. This is the direction. This is where we need to go. This is what I'm feeling.

What's interesting, because it started with you had. You had the epiphany. And then also, it's almost like, it's really quite weird when I look back. It's quite eerie, man.

Yeah.

Remember we're chatting on the phone and we're doing a video call, and I was. There was dinner and bath time with the kids. And I remember I said to you as well, I was like, man, I've had this epiphany. And you're like, what have you had? What was it? And it was almost like, almost at the same time. It's like I'd seen a couple of things. Like, man, this is just not. We're so close. I remember saying to this, I'm like, we're two degrees off, man. But we don't. We know that this 2 degrees is everything. And what I was reflecting on was looking through that. The thousands of fathers have helped. I'm like, what's missing here? It seems like the dynamic is mothers are fathers, fathers are mothers. So they're sharing roles, sharing. So they're doing reasonably okay. But if you don't break through that glass ceiling because you're sharing and you're multitasking and all the things where you look at, like sports team, this is your one job and role here. This is what you need to do. You're the center, you're the point guard, because that's not happening. You're like an all rounder but being okay at everything. No one's breaking through, Lynn. No one's getting to that upper level, that upper echelon. And that, that was the breakthrough for me. I was like, if you're sharing all these things, you're never going to have mastery over the One thing that you're born to do and born to be.

Yeah, that was huge.

And then you and me had that chat and this was fascinating, man. And we had that alignment.

Crazy. That's the exact chat I had with Kerry on our walk. I said, hey, like I don't like, I, I, I hear friends and stories about these couples that like make everything all even. Like, hey, if I, if I look after the kids for two and a half days, you look after the kids for two and a half days and we go off from there and they split everything, right? They have to make everything fair. I just said that doesn't work. I said, you're not putting people in a position to succeed as a man. If you put me in that position, I will fail, okay? I will not do my best and I'll fail because I haven't done my best. My best position, I genuinely know, is to go out there and to provide for our family and to look after our family financially because that's where I hold true also go out there and look after our family and protect us. I think your role is to go out there and nurture and to create that environment so the kids have a great environment to grow up in and they have patience, they have fun and your ability is to be able to give them that space. I think the crazy part about this is that we've become a society that's, that haven't we haven't respected the roles of both men and women. We go, the man works and so he's just working, therefore that's a bad thing. And then we also go, but the woman's just a stay at home mom. And we literally just say, but she's just a stay at home mom. And I go, man, like being a mum is the most important fucking thing in the world. The reasons why we have so many kids that are so fucked up is because their mum didn't stay at home. And so they were put into schools and childcare centers where they learnt off other 20 year olds that weren't mums. And these 20 year olds had different beliefs, systems and you know, they started to like incept all of these ideas. And the whole issue is because we've denigrated both the men's role like, oh, he works, only he's always working all the time, that's bad, he should be home more. And then we've kind of degraded the mother's role in all of this. And so she's home all the time.

She should be working.

She should be building herself like You. And so you've got this mental warfare going on of what a woman should do or what a boss babe should do and what men should do and how men should be more in touch with their emotions and how they should be connected at home. And I go, hey, men, men don't really need to be that include with their emotions, you know. And funnily enough, this was another conversation. Women want men to be include. Women want, or wives want to know that their man can be emotional, but wives do not want their man to be emotional and breaking down and fucking having epiphanies and crying to them every single fucking day. Your wife does not want you to be crying to her every fucking day. Your wife wants you to be able to say that you're gonna do shit and do the shit that you're gonna say and take care of shit. That's what your wife wants, contrary to what she may tell you. And sure, you may be emotional, you may open up and talk to her. She'd like that. But I guarantee she only wants that 5% of the time. She doesn't want that 95% of the time. So men take shit literally, okay? Because men, I just, I think men are really simple and straightforward and quite silly to some extreme because we take things literally. And so we go, oh, you want us to be emotional? And now what's happened now is we have a generation of the next generation, the 20 year olds, the up and coming guys that are super emotional and they talk about their feelings and all they talk about is their feelings and they can't get out of their own fucking way. So we've lost the generation of guys that are able to do shit like, cool, we're going to do this, we're going to do this and we're going to do this, and cool, we'll get it done. We have to work. And we've actually just fostered a generation of men that are now in touch with their emotions. They can't get it done. Which is why women say that they don't need men, because they don't. They're not attracted to these men. There's no attraction.

No. I've said that to Karim before as well, you know, and we talk about this all the time with HPF being the Viking, you know, and, and leading the family. And I said, hey, Karim, would, would you? Because women say one thing, but they obviously want a different one. And that's just the emotional volatility and variances that comes to making decisions, which is why men should leave. We're born late because we can lock in, dial it in, and. And commit all the way through. So would you really like me if I was, like, a yes man and just did everything you wanted and it's like, oh, yeah, yeah, that'd be great. That'd be. That'd be nice is what she said.

Really?

I said, like, if I was your puppy dog and I just chased you around everywhere and I was emotional, I was just. Your shoulder was mine to cry on now more than yours to mine. Bl. It's like, yeah, well, at least, you know, I knew. At least I'd know how you feel, and, you know, at least we get more things done around the house. That's what she said. I said, okay. I said, really? I said, well, question that. Would you respect me, though? Would you feel safe around me in terms of any threats or any outsiders? Would you actually find me attractive and sexy and, like, would you. Would you respect and desire and want me? She'd be like, no. Like, it just camera. She's like, not at all. I was like, exactly. And it's just so funny. And she had. Because obviously, you know, I talked to her about this stuff too, and she had that realization. She's like, yeah, we don't know what we want, do we?

Yeah. It's such a hard truth that most women think they know what they want, and then by the time you give it to them, they don't actually know what they want, if that makes sense. It's not what they want. So most women want men, their man to be more emotional, to talk about his feelings. And then by the time the man starts talking about his feelings and becomes emotional, she's so turned off, and she's like, oh, what's going on here? You know, the woman wants the man to stay at home and play with the kids, and then by the time the man stays at home, starts playing with the kids, she's starting to go, where the fuck is the man? Does that make sense? It's such a weird dichotomy, because what. What she's really saying she wants is she wants you to be the man, and she wants little sprinkles. You got to be able to read through the lines. Men can't read through the lines because men are really simple creatures. Men just literally follow instructions. Oh, she said this. I followed her literally. And so what we do is we argue back, and we don't understand the fact that women don't really know what they want. Okay. And what they're trying to say is what they're really trying to say is, hey, I would just like a little sprinkle of this, but keep doing what you're doing. Just give me a little sprinkle. Men take this literally and try to force the whole thing to completely change. And then there's just chaos that ensues because the man just blames the woman. The man blows his shit. It's like, look, woman, I changed this completely for you. This is what you said you want. She's like, no, I don't want that. And the man has taken the word so literally. This has happened time and time again, right? This has happened to me so many times. I, you know, like, I just thought you wanted me to stay home. I didn't think you wanted me to work anymore. I didn't think you liked me at work. She's like, no, I didn't say that. Right? So. So it's. It's. It's a really, really funny dichotomy between misunderstandings. Men take shit too literally, and women talk about shit too literally. Like, they go, hey, this is what I want. And they're so adamant about it until they get it, and they realize, nah, it wasn't what they want. And it's okay. If we understand the truths and we go, it's okay. And we learn to deal with reading in between the lines and understanding the nuances, then we can actually move forward and move closer together. I think women are extremely complicated because they seem to know or seem to say they know everything and they know exactly what they want. But in the real world, that doesn't play out to be true. So, yeah, we can go on many tangents on this. But let's bring it back to the main thing, which is my gastro epiphany, which was your epiphany too. At some level, we just access it in different ways. And it was like, we've redefined what being a father is. Weirdly, without any intention. As a society, being a father has been typically. Being a great father has been typically defined as doing chores around the house, helping out, and being, you know, being present with the kids, taking the kids to the park. That's typically what a good father looks like. If you ask anybody. If you do that, if you want to test this for yourself, go, go ahead, take the kids out, go to a park, Go carry the kids. And everyone will be like, oh, you're such a good father. You'll start to get praise, and you'll start to recognize that that's actually not the role because you're not fulfilling the role and your duty of protecting and providing. And that actually is the icing on the cake. And because you're not fulfilling your duty, there's chaos that erupts at home. You're like, if I'm such a good father, why is this shit still happening? Why is my wife pissed off at me? Why doesn't she think I'm a good dad? Why aren't we connected? Why are we getting a divorce? I'm such a good father. And the reality is there are duties and roles that are not being fulfilled. There's your duty as a man in the relationship, the father, the provider, and the protector. And then there's her duty as the nurturer, right? Being able to create that foundation. She's the rock, okay? You got to do. You got to protect the rock and the eggs. She's the rock, she's the foundation. And so once both of you fulfill your duties, once I fulfill my duty as a man, a father, she fulfills her duty. We come together and there's alignment. And it's not listening to, oh, you're a good father from the outside. It's actually working on what you need to do and what she needs to do. Now, obviously, there are nuances around this. With every family, there's going to be different little nuances. But for the most part, I'd say for 95%, I'd put a good bet on it, is that mothers genuinely want to be moms and they want to feel like shit. I don't have to worry about money. I get to just spend time with my kids. They want to feel that way. And they also want the opportunity to, like, start a side hustle and take their idea on. They do, because they want everything. Women want everything. So what your wife will say is, Lin, like, you know, I want to be a mother. I want to have that opportunity. But then I also want to work, too, right? If you ask your wife very carefully, that's exactly what she'll say. And it's because she wants a little bit of everything, but she doesn't want to go all in. Her main, all in focus is the children, but she likes the sprinkles. And if you don't take it too literally, you understand that. And as the man, it's your duty and responsibility to fulfill the roles of protecting, providing, protecting them physically and mentally. Those are the two protection mechanisms, mental warfare that we're having and providing for them, such that are you providing for them financially so that the children do have a place and the Mother does have a place to grow. And then ask yourself this question. If you were to die tomorrow, how long would they be able to live their current lifestyle? Pay the current mortgage until your wife has to go back to work and then the kids go back to childcare. Or your wife remarries a man because he can protect and provide for her. But then it ends all ends up in chaos because your kids aren't obviously going to be looked after as well as you if you were alive and. Or maybe if you had provided enough and your wife didn't have to remarry. Maybe that's the possibility. So that was my thought, and after a couple of months off, I thought I'd share that. Any last. Any lasting ideas? Thoughts?

I think the important thing for a lot of you guys watching this is understanding that we all have good intentions. But the unfortunate reality is the lackluster standards that society is now tolerating and accepting makes it so easy for us to just take the easy path. Look, I get it. A lot of you men might be screaming, well, I don't even get to spend that much time with my kids. Or, you know, when I do, I'm doing the best I can, like all good intentions. However, even those who do spend the time with their children, it's like the employee turning up to work saying, why aren't you excited giving me a raise because I showed up like, it's a given, man. If there's not that alignment there where you can reorganize yourself, then something needs to be done at a professional level where you can provide both financially and the fruits for your family. But the hard path is protecting and providing. But it's the right one. And that was the big thing for me, Lynn, which I'm like, man, on my deathbed, looking back, there's nothing else that matters because we're all going to be forgotten in 100 years. But I don't need my great, great grandchildren to know about me. All I need to know is that the fruit of my loins can now pass on life and carry on and carry the torch that I hand to them because I've done my duty.

Yeah, I'm just going to go back to that. You said something that most men are saying that they're doing the best that they can. Okay? It's. It's kind of like this, okay? You run a business. You have a person coming in and you run a restaurant business. They're waitering and they keep dropping plates and they keep things up and they keep putting the wrong Order on the wrong table, they keep messing up the menus and they keep fucking things up. And then they come to you and they go, hey, I'm doing the best that I can. What do you say? Say, I appreciate you doing the best that you can. However, your role was this. We hired you for this. We brought you in for this. You must have. In order to. In order to stay here, you got to do what's required. And so for a lot of men out there that go, hey, I'm doing the best that I can, it's like, I appreciate that. I respect that. We're all doing the best that we can. However, sometimes the best that you can is not enough. In fact, most of the time, it's not enough. Because what's enough is doing what's required. It's not doing the best. We're not a place where even that in itself, you know, has been the term, I believe, quite feminine. Because if you go back to the olden days, your grandfathers, your grandfather's grandfathers wouldn't accept, are you doing the best? They'd be like, hey, you do what's required or you go home. We don't do our best there. We do what needs to be done. I believe the fostering of this feminist society has allowed the language of, it's okay, you did your best. And I believe that our children need that from when they're learning and when they're growing up. And that's what the nurturing environment does. It's a lot of encouragement. But I truly believe that as men, if we're willing to take on the responsibility and the burden on our shoulders, which we all have to, at some level, you have to do what's required. The best is no longer good enough. And you go, hey, if that's what's required, I will do what's required. And you just do it.

It's about capabilities and choices and you know, where you're capable. It's important to go inside and ask the question, well, if I'm capable, is the choice coming from a place of feelings?

Yeah.

Which means I'm not actually doing what's required. And that's important, man. Like, look, getting up at 3am is obviously not easy. Doing that. We've been doing this for. Well, I've been doing this for the last three weeks anyway. However, if I can stand up, if I can open my eyes, even if they're sore, if I can walk into a room and get dressed, like, if you're capable, you can fucking do it. She so you should. But do you think we should share the. The job? What are your thoughts, Lynch? We get the guys to not yet get the job description.

Get them to comment down below if they want to see it. We've put together a clear job description of what the roles, the responsibilities, the missions, the outcomes are for us, for you to win as a father, so that you become clear on what you need to do so that you're not. You're not, you know, thinking ambiguously. You're not confused. You're not confused by what everybody, every neighbor says about you and now of a father you're doing, but you're still stuck in turmoil inside of your marriage and figuring out, why doesn't it work? And why does my wife love me? Why doesn't she care about me? Why doesn't my wife think the same thing? All these other people think I'm great, my wife. And the reality is, because you're not fulfilling your roles and duties. But the reality is you've. You haven't actually understood what they really are. And the moment that you understand and the moment you fulfill them, you'll have everything that you want. You have the alignment, you have the respect. But my gosh, there is a weight that you need to carry and there's a responsibility and it's a mission of every father. Which is why I think, you know, being a father is probably one of the hardest things in the world, if not the hardest things to do as a man, because you carry on so much responsibility, so much burden, and you walk alone, literally, while your wife is there with the children. They're playing together, they're sleeping together at night. You're alone, busting your balls to protect and provide. That's why I think it's the most important and also the most noblest. When you complete this, there is no better feeling than going, fuck, we built that. So with that being said, I want to wrap this up. Leave your comments down below. If you found anything useful with this, let us know. And yeah, we'll see you on the next episode.

Pump for it. Well, that wraps up another episode. And just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you. And then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart. And there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes four or five times and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. And also if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You've listened to it. Write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak, speak them. Believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you can remember and make sure you consistently learn and relearn what is it's true and what is it is important to you in your heart. Take care, have an amazing day night weekday weekend and I'll see you for another one soon. Cheers.