228. How Fathers miss the mark, and how to NOT be one of them

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Alex, good morning.

Morning. I was gonna say my man. You don't like me calling you I.

Don'T like my man. You're up early. You're up early. Streaming in. And so we're just hitting up the group. We're inside of the HPF group at the moment. If you're here, then there's a very good chance that you're a. You've been lurking around for a while. You've been watching Alex run the show. He's been running a really, really good show. Al, the show that you've been running has been amazing, man.

So good. So that you have to step in now and help.

So good. So good. But with upgrades comes the upgrades. And so, men, we need your help. So my name is Lynn Tren. If you don't know, you don't know. But you'll get to know me. And obviously you know the man here, Mr. Tall White Guy, Alex Renari. So we're in the game of helping men kind of get through the second half of their life. Okay, that's. That's kind of what we do here, like, because we. We realize how hard it is. Is it now? I told you this yesterday. On one end of the spectrum, I'm. I'm running marketing strategy with tens of millions of dollars for our companies, right? On one end, I'm thinking about marketing. I'm thinking about what's the next move, how do we run this funnel? How do we actually recruit, hire, build teams? And then on the next thing, the thought of Cocomelon runs through my mind. Like, literally, they're just the fucking, like, twinkle Twinkle it. Like just the thought of like on repeat. So fathers have the hardest jobs. Cause we're no longer in that stage where we're 18, we're 19, we're 20. We can just hustle, work all the time. We can neglect our girlfriends and neglect sleep and just work. Right. And I'd have really great extended period of time doing that. But right now it's like the reasons why you're up at 3am why are you up at 3am? Why?

I mean, you told me to. Accountability. I said, bro, so we can actually.

I said, yeah.

Yeah, man. It's how we can actually get into some deep work, produce, hunt, build work on our business. All the things that we, when it comes to the day, and our children, our family, our responsibility, responsibilities, we're just putting out fires all day. And all the different hats that we supposedly have to wear, man, we get so much done, don't we? Between 3 and 6:30. It's insane. I call it my day one.

Yeah, it's ridiculous. And, and I, I found this out. It's like by the end of the day, I thought about this. Like, we've got kids during the day. We kind of. We're good fathers because we, we want to be there for our children. We can work remotely, which we're very blessed to have. Not, Not a lot of men have the opportunity that we have to have, which plays a, plays a huge part in this. But I think at the, at the end of the day when, when we're trying to work on the business and, and we're trying to have strategic thoughts and ideas, we've got nothing left because we've had to go through dinner time, we've had to go through bath time, we've had to emotionally, like, just hearing kids cry, man, like fucked, like, emotionally just drains the out of everybody. Drains you, drains me, drains Kerri, drains Corinne, I'm sure, right? And so by the end of it, by about 7, 8 o', clock, I just want to like, wrap up, execute and get, get onto some stuff. So the thought process is, well, what do we do? Because the kids wake up like Atlas is up at 5am and I feel like if I get up at 4am, which is very, very early still for the normal person, that's just not enough time like that. That's enough for me to wake up, have a coffee, wash my face and fucking like, go, all right. And then so the three AMs were born. Like, we were just like, dude, we, we just have to do it. Because if you're if, if you want to grow, there is work that has to be done that's not getting done. And the only way that it will get done is to carve out time in the day to get it done. And it was just this moment. It's like, well, can we do anything at. In the afternoon? No. Strategic work, working on the business. And, and you know, you and I had a chat and I was like, it's. It's because there's tension where everybody's around. We know the teams are around, people around, clients are around. We're gonna get fucking pulled. Our brain, it's too weak to resist not jumping in and trying to solve all the problems. Right. And so that's something that you and I have to work on. So how have the 3AMs been. Been working for you, bro, in terms of productivity?

Phenomenal, man. To the point where I've done. I've been doing like, I call it the morning music for the members on the inside now. So obviously talking is the music, but.

You text them, you text the members, you go, hey, rise and shine.

Yeah, Every morning. So we've got a hashtag rise to win. That's like our war cry. And, and may. There's a lot of boys between sort of 3:30 and 4:30 now that are adopting it even this week. Because I've been doing this for about. About a month now and did it a lot when Lillian was actually the exact same spot you're at now. My kids are a bit older, so when like Atlas is obviously Lillian was the same age when I had two, you know, all the courses and all the books and things I was creating, man, I was like 2:3am Wake ups. Exact. Funnily enough, the exact same time. But then I haven't done it, man, for a couple of years. But it's so, so good.

Like, you, you quite often, like, it's just. It's just these moments where you have to sprint, right? And the, the early excuse is like, you know, everyone's so much inside of their business trying to survive, trying to put out fires that there's. We. We often hear there's no time to work on the business. When do I ever get to work on it? And then by the time you want to work on it, you. You've, like, you. You're brain fried and you've got cocoa melon ringing inside of your head. So the whole idea is like being able to carve out this time the 3:00am to 6:00am to literally just go, okay, here's your opportunity to Work on your business so that you can actually build momentum. And all the shit that you're struggling with that you're complaining about yesterday, the day before today, slowly you can chip away so that you can build things so that shit doesn't happen anymore. Okay? The reasons why people don't ever get to work on their business is because they're in it. And then they say they don't have time. Well, the reality is, well, you. You have to make time. And so these are. These are one of the critical things. So the reasons why you and I are going live inside of the group is because the mission of HPF is, quite frankly, to help men and fathers. Okay? Or help men take on and dominate the responsibility of being a father. Okay? And I want to use this language specifically. We help men dominate, like, not just be a good father on societal standards. Not. Not to be like, oh, you're a good dad. You know, you play with the kids. Oh, you're a good dad. I wish my husband would play with the kids. We hear that shit all the time. Like, we just hear it from wives. I just hear passing comments, and I'm like, you don't know if I'm a good dad. Like, what does that even mean? How does that even happen? Huh?

You saw the post I did yesterday. There's a picture of me and Roman at the park, and I said, am I a great father? Because I've taken around in the park, A, B, or C, and everyone's going, hey, hey, you're a great dad. A couple of guys are like, oh, okay. You know, it depends on whether you're present or not. But there's only one guy who said, yeah, if you can afford it. But if you don't bring the money in, what do you say? Wifey won't be happy. Something. I was like, ah, this guy. Interesting. But, yeah, you're right, man.

Everyone.

Everyone was like, yeah, you're a great dad, Al, because you posted a picture.

That you're at the. And that's where. That's where we've been kind of misled. Okay? So. So it's not to say that doing those things isn't good. Like, those should. Those should be done, but you can't do those things and neglect your main responsibilities. Okay? It's kind of like if I hire to bring you in as a CEO and you're just chatting to people all day and you're. You're like, hey, I'm just building. I'm. I'm building relationships and I'm high. I'VE hired you as a CEO to run the company, to grow the company, to, hey, hey, we need to grow this channel by 25%. You need to make sure we're more efficient here by 30%, et cetera, et cetera. You come in and you're just, and you're just chatting to everybody, and everyone likes you, and everyone's like, oh, you're a great CEO. My last CEO didn't do this. Now the reality is, are you a great CEO? Well, the answer is no, because you have neglected your responsibilities, which is the reasons why I actually brought you in. But to other people, they're like, he's a great CEO because he's actually talking to everybody. So if you talk to everybody and you do the icing on the cake, but you neglect the main thing. Are you a good dad? Are you a good CEO? The answer is no. And so the reality is, what begins and the reasons why this is so important is because as you neglect your responsibilities as a father, you don't. You're building shit on a house of cards. Like, you're really lasting temporarily, you know, minutes and hours with your wife until you have a stupid argument about money, right? And so you have a stupid argument about, you know, why she left the fridge door open and, and, and, and, you know, why the light's still on downstairs or why your daughter broke a cup and why the fuck that even really, truly matters and why you blow your stack. And the reality is, well, if you actually think about it, 99% of faith triggers is financial. It's, it's strained. And we know this. Look at this, man, like on the news. There's everywhere. There's more theft going on in coals and woolies at the moment because people can't afford shit because shit's so expensive. Prices of fuel is going up, right? We talk about these problems, but you need to be in a place where it's like, hey, you need to take care of your shit so much that it's like, impenetrable. Like, if you're worried of, if you're worried about fuel going up from A$90 to $2 10, which it will, and it's going to go up more. And you've worried about food prices going up. You are so close to the line of like, man, like, anymore, you could get wiped out that you, you need to recognize that you're barely just fucking surviving. It's not a good place to be in. It's a place that every man that isn't privileged enough to have A billionaire father. Pass it on. And that's everybody, right? We're not. Every man faces this responsibility, which is how do I make sure that my wife and children are comfortable first? How do I make sure they have food in their mouth? And then how do I make sure that. Fuck like that we go on to that next level, which is how do we stop fighting about stupid shit? And then how do we get to that point where, hey, like, we can go to a restaurant once a week and, you know, they can order what they want? And then how do we get to a point where we just go to and buy a cafe and I take the kids out for brekkie every morning and we have some toast and eggs and fucking like that. That's that. And it's just levels. It's just different levels that as a man, you're going to notice that money gives you patience. And I said this to. I've said this to you a few times, haven't I? I've said money allows. Buys. Money buys time. Time allows patience. Yes. And so most men are fucking struggling. They're out there, they're getting their. Their ass handed to them. They're getting their balls busted. They're working. They're fucking like, they're just working in the business. I don't know. By the time they're home, they're so fucking tired, right? They can't work on their plan, they can't work on another business, they can't work on a skill. So, you know, whatever you. You're doing, you, You're a tradie, you're a trucker, you're. You're, you're working in coals, retail, whatever the case is. Fantastic. Like, you're there, you're providing. But the reality is it's not enough. It isn't. Because even though you're doing your best, it's not. It's not what's required. And until you do what's required, then you will continue to struggle with, you know, the nagginess of the burden of the family, the wife, the responsibilities, the expectation, the. Oh, my God, this is not fair. How dare she expect that of me? And so the one thing is, where can we help you? Where can. Myself and, myself and Alex, we're on the same journey too, man. Like I said, we're just a few steps away from the shit show, like from, from the gastro Epiphany that I'm like, hey, man, I'm just a few steps away from this place too. I need it. We need to grow we need to adapt some skills. We need to do bigger things. We need to grow. And so the whole idea is that it's fucking lonely because I would like you don't get. I. I can't. I can't sit there and talk to Carrie about all the shit I have to deal with. She just like, for her, she, of course she wants me to open up about it, but the reality is she would not respect me if I started to cry about it. If I start to go, baby, I don't think I can do this. I don't think. I don't think I can do this for you. It's just so hard. This burden is too big, right? And so we can't talk to our wives about this. Our children will never understand, okay? And nor should they have to. The reality is, like, for me, for a long time out, I'm just like, man, Ocean, I just wish you, you could respect me because you knew how much shit I had to go through. And I'm like, man, like, the moment she becomes a mum, she's just going to understand, like, life will help her understand. I don't need her help or understand. I came to that realization. But the whole point about, of us coming into this is, where do you need help? Where do we need help? And not just from myself and now, but where are others that can contribute and help? Where are the accountants in this side of this group? I know you got some fucking smart accountants in this group that can help out with tax strategy, right? Where are the lawyers inside of this group? There are plenty of, plenty of men getting their ass sued and divorced. Where are the lawyers that can help other men inside of this group? Where are kind of the business strategists that can come in and go, hey, like, we can help work on your small business. Where can we, where can we bring in people? And maybe if you comment down below and let us know, we can actually start to interview you can start to shine a light on you. We can start to share. Because the reality is doing all of this on your own, like doing, like doing all of this, you don't understand, like, how important, how important is it for you to know that you're not doing this on your own, that you have other guys like myself who are understand the situation.

Yeah, man, it's huge. Couple of key things. And everyone's probably heard, you know, some of the five people you hang around. So the first thing is that's absolutely true. So if you're in a position now where you're not quite Happy with where life is at, yet you're left to your own devices, then you're repeating the same thought processes and cycles. So if I'm on my own lean, how could I ever grow or improve or change? Because I'm working with the materials and ingredients that has got me in a position where I want to work to be better. And I don't have that. So one, it's good from that perspective because I've actually got like your stuff and we laugh about me, not I shouldn't be here and that sort of stuff because I'm sort of the anomaly to some degree from where I've come from. However, it's because of you and the.

Anomaly you, it's more so like man, like I, how does somebody that came from no money, which you and I came from no money, absolutely no money from the bottom. And when you're at the bottom, you're like, you're at the bottom. You've been forced by everybody to say, hey man, you're at the bottom. This is what you deserve. You know, you're not supposed to do that. You've got all these stories. So you're at the bottom of the mountain. And at the bottom of the mountain is actually the hardest because you got the weight. Okay, first, you have identity issues because you play small, because everyone has told you that you're small the whole life and not to think too big. And you've seen all your friends fail and you just hang around people that aren't winning. It's hard. You're just around a whole bunch of people that are losing. There are a whole bunch of people that are losing and complaining, okay? So that's why the bottom's hard. Secondly, you don't have that self belief, okay? Thirdly, you don't have a strong environment of friends because like everyone's really a bum around you. They're just kind of getting by. They're accepting society standards say you work too hard. And it's hard because at the bottom you don't know any better. So you're just listening to what everyone else is saying so you buy into their shit. It's really hard being at the bottom. And why it's so hard being at the bottom to get yourself up is because one, you don't believe in yourself. Why? Because your whole life, why, what belief evidence has there been for you to believe in? There's been zero, okay? People around you will tell you stories and try to hold you back because they keep failing. And so they put. So they fear they Scare the fuck out of you. Okay, so that's two. So every day you wake up, you wake up scared, you don't even believe in yourself at the bottom. What chance does it have for somebody at the bottom to get to out of the bottom? And that's why so many people don't make it. It's not because they don't have the information, the knowledge. It's because it's the self belief, it's the people around them. Okay? And so I think the biggest thing that I have and you have is kind of a form of brotherhood to literally just go, hey, we've got a band of men that we're around that will call us out. You will look at me, you go, hey, man, you're a bit pudgy. You call it cortisol abs disease, right? He looks at it because this is where I'm storing it. So it's like he makes fun. And most people will go, well, that's shaming. And I go, I genuinely think men need that kind of kick up the ass. That's the language. We don't need to go, hey, man, you're looking like a little bit soft. And no hurt, no feelings hurt, because men in itself love to compete. And I would love to go, oh, you're saying that about me? You just watch this space now come back stronger, I'll beat you.

Right?

And that's the competitive drive inside of men that I feel like we have, that's different to women. And so what's happened is we've had to soften our tone because we've listened, okay, to the females rise and all the advice. We've listened to that and we're like, holy shit. No, we're not scared. It's like, no, man, like, if you're fat, I'll tell you you're fat and I'll egg you on. And it's like this, this degree of shaming to actually make you better. I'm going to shame you to make you better, right? And so the world just weird because we went through this enlightenment period where shame was such a bad thing. And I go, wait, there's, there's, there's good shame. There's the shame to bring you up, the shame. Because I want to see you do better. Because I know, I know you can do better. I know I can do better. And, and so the thought process behind the group is, where are the men? Where are the men? And, and why are we going alone? Like, why are we going alone? Why? There's 5000 6000, almost 6000 men inside of this group. And yet I don't know what anybody does. There's plenty of business owners that fucking have great restaurants. There's plenty of business owners that probably run a butcher that we can, we can talk to. There's plenty of business owners that are accountants, lawyers, etc, etc, and yet it's crickets. And so this is a call out. This is the next invitation to literally just comment down below. What do you do? What do you do? How do we help? How can we serve? How do we get you out there? How can you help? How can you help other men? Because like we alluded to earlier before we change the topics, we can't talk to the wives about this as much as you think you can, you probably can. You could probably tell them once, they may act strong and they may go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you've just literally planted a seed of doubt. And unless you come back from that, unless you show action and show results, you're going to open up that gap. And it's, it's constantly why so many women doubt their husbands. Because there's just gaps everywhere. There's a big talk, there's, there's a gap in the void. Okay, so is there anything you'd like to add to this?

I think you hit the nail on the head, man, when what we're talking about here is environment and one, knowing that you're not alone. But two, yeah, not feeling like you're not capable because you're at the bottom with everyone else that's losing. It's really hard to get to the top of the mountain. But that's why, yeah, that's why I love this, this brotherhood. So we talk about calling out, right? If you said that I'm fat, like without the tonality and the, I guess the bullying to some capacity. But it's a fact, man. If I've got a problem with it, that's my problem. But you know, how much have I changed? Like you've seen me now, man, I've shaped up. I dropped 14 kilos from when I was going through, of course, ill health a few months ago, but still you calling me out in a genuine way because you're my brother, right? So when it's a genuine way in the brotherhood, you can actually be harder. You can be even harder. And I like that. I'd rather someone because I know I'm like, this guy loves me, man. He's got my back. So he can, he can actually be even more ruthless.

And I said this too man, like, many times you've gone, hey, man, I've been sick. And I'm like, okay, well, let's. Let's play this out. How'd you get sick? Other kids got sick. Okay, well, like, I'm like, what are you. What. What are the kids doing getting sick? You're like, well, they're going to school. Of course they're going to get sick. They have to get sick. And I'm like, well, what are they doing going to school? And then it becomes a game of what? Well, I have not leveled up enough as a man to produce, to provide, to create our own school, to create private education. So that. That's the game, right? And. And I go, what are they doing at school? And so the. The. The shift is. There's always a frame. I want everybody to kind of. Kind of hear this when there's. There's nothing to complain about. It's just like David Goggins says something fucking amazing. And it's the Roger that attitude. It's like, all right, I'm sick. Cool. Now do I want to keep getting sick? Why do I get sick? The kids are always getting sick. Okay, where are the kids? Okay, they're here. Here, Here. Okay, cool. So why are they here? Here, Here? Well, they're here and here because they have to be here. And I haven't. I haven't produced enough financially in order to actually not take them there. I would like to. Okay, cool. So that becomes the why I want to stop getting sick, because the kids are getting me sick. And the reasons why the kids. It all tracks back. And there's this Roger that mentality that I really, truly love. And I've. You know, a lot of people talking about taking extreme ownership, and it's like, yeah, but in the moment, you're not thinking, oh, how do I take ownership? You literally just have to go, roger that. And it. It forces your brain into an action state, as opposed to even a triggered Not.

Not even.

You don't even get a second to think about what just happened. You're like, oh, shit. Well, this happened. Roger that. And it's one of the best things that I've always had to remind myself. Like, you know, in the last couple of months, shit's gonna get hard. Roger that. Okay, cool. Kids have made a mess. The house is a fucking mess. Roger that. Like, it just helps you get into an action. Like, it is what it is. So it's a really interesting one, man. I'd love to do, like, a full talk about how hard it is at the bottom, like to the place that you see now where you are. Because at the bottom, when you started out with me first, you just, you came in to the mentorship program and you started out and you're just like, oh my God, I've got all these other people, I'm at the bottom. And you weren't even at the bottom. And we're talking like you're at the bottom of a group of business people, right? But then if we expand that out, you're not even at the bottom of the bottom, like of the world of men. And so you started out in the bottom and it's petrifying because you don't have any self belief. There's all this self doubt. You're too small. You think other people are bigger than they are, they're just not. It's just, it's. If you're willing to persist, try and stay the course and never quit, then you'll get to the top and it's like it's impossible to fail. It's impossible to not win.

Do you think it's ignorance? Do you think ignorance is the reason why people just don't try and push away from the pain and break through? Because I look back now and it obviously took more work than I thought, but at the same time I couldn't imagine going back to even that.

I think here, I think people have been sold a lie in terms of they have to work X amount, just their whole paradigm of how they think about life in terms of, hey, I'll work and then I'll retire and then, oh, you should be poor. Like there's so many like stigmas and stereotypes and sayings out there that just stick to you. You should always put money in real estate and save your money and invest and you know, you should be looking at retirement and you should always play it safe and all this shit, right? It's like we all grow up with the same shit. I'm like, okay, well like tell me, how do I make money in real estate? Everyone, everyone that wants to make money in real estate, like it's a magical thing and it's, it's, it's really not right? So there's, there's a lot of preconceptions and pre notions that we've been adopted with, you know, you should go to school, you should get a good job, you should go buy a house. You could go buy houses and buy as many houses as you can fucking can. Because that's the goal, right? So we're kind of stuck in this box. And the moment you start to recognize that the box is this, the box is recognizing that you will win if you learn a skill and if you become the best at what you do. And you never stop growing and you never stop improving on that skill, and you never stop figuring out how to serve more people and solving a particular problem, right? So it doesn't matter what business you're in, or it doesn't matter if you're a contractor, trader, freelancer, I don't care what it is. If you just get better at solving that problem, then you'll win. And the reality is most people just don't or aren't wired that way to go down the Goggins path, which is to do whatever it takes to win. We're not. We're wired in a way where we, we initially, when we're first kind of born, it's like, oh, we'll do bare minimum. And everyone tries to do bare minimum because they think that that's the smart way. Like that, that, that's, that's the, you know, everyone tries to do bare minimum because they think they're being smart. They're like, I'm being smart. I need to just do bare minimum and minimum output. Maximum. Minimum input, maximum output. And the reality is you're not really being smart. What you need is, it doesn't matter how smart you are. If you're not willing to work hard and you're not willing to make iterations and improve, you'll win, you'll lose, because I bet you somebody else is. And that person's always going to beat you. So to go back to your question, why do people fail? I think they've been set up and they've been born into a society that just says we. We say so much, like, as a society that we have no idea. If you ask people, why do they say that? Oh, why? Why am I a good dad just for playing with my kids? They're like, why? Oh, yeah, because like, I'm so shocked. Like, so you just hear all of these sayings and it's put on you and nobody's questioned why? Does that make sense? Like, does it make logical sense? All of this shit.

Created a bit of a prison. Just like the time for money. I remember seeing Jim Rohn and it was really big breakthrough for me. I saw it a while ago where he's like, you don't trade time for money, otherwise why aren't you getting paid? When you're at home, you get paid for the value you bring, not for the hours you spend. I was like, that's so true. But people just buy into it. I'll work eight hours and this is how much I'm going to get paid. It's like, no, you're not getting paid for time.

Or, I need to save money. I need to save $10 a day. If I put aside 10, if I stop drinking this coffee and I'll save this money and put it into an investment property. And it's like, okay, but, you know, this actual smarter way would be to have your coffee and fucking live. And whilst you're having your coffee, you can think about problems to solve. And then whilst you are drinking the coffee and nearly finish the coffee, you can actually go and pitch somebody to solve that problem and solve it in a better way and get paid instead of saving that coffee. And so at the end of the day, you're, yeah, part of being a Viking, as you say, is just being able to go out there and go, look, I'll sort it out. I think one of the things that I can say women carry loves is just going, hey, like, let's get the thing that you want and I'll sort it out. As opposed to going, no, we need to fucking save money. We need to do it like that. That talk is literally like the worst talk because it says, as a man, you're scared. We need to save money. Because I'm scared I can't produce. Yeah. As opposed to a producer going, you know what? I'll figure it out. Roger that. You want this? Totally. My wife should totally deserve this. Because he's nurturing the next generation of my legacy, the legacy that I only have. Right. So if you're. If you're looking after my legacy, the only thing that I like literally lives on beyond me as I die. And you're building, of course you deserve this. So I think it's really interesting in terms of mindset with men, in terms of like, we need to save. And the reasons why we need to save is because the man can't produce. Now, the man can't produce because he's trapped in a box. He's trapped in a box believing all these things, okay? And if he stepped outside of the box and started to recognize that he would earn based on his ability to solve a problem extremely well. Not just solve a problem because everyone solves problems, but your competition solves problems. But you got to solve that better than anybody else, okay? You got to solve it better, make it possibly more affordable or make the experience better and actually innovate. Now if you do that correctly, well, you're going to be better than 90% of people. And so you don't. You shouldn't have any business problems, okay? And once you learn that skill to produce and you master it, then it's like, fuck, you realize, shit, you can get almost anything you want in this world if you're willing now with that skill, to work it to the fucking bone. And I just don't think, like. And a lot of guys and a lot of men are trapped in the box, and so they can't even comprehend what you and I are really talking about until you step outside the box. And I understand, because I. Man, like, I remember when I was a personal trainer. This was not even too long ago, man. This was like, what is it, 2014? Maybe 10 years? 11 years ago, right? Kerry and I were dating. I'd walk through Melbourne CBD. I probably had like, $500 cash left in my bank or whatever it is, as you do when you're 20. But I'm walking around and I just don't fucking. I'm looking at all these buildings and I'm looking at all these shops, and I'm just thinking, how the fuck does somebody even afford a car? Like, $30,000 car. How the fuck do you even pay for it? I don't even have $500. How do they afford $30,000 and then drop it on a car? How are these buildings in the Melbourne CBD, these tall buildings that cost, you know, 25, 30 million dollars, how are they getting built? Like, my mind was blown because. And in that moment, I started to recognize shit I wouldn't like. I have no. I can't even get to the car, let alone the building. I'll never own one of these buildings, but how the fuck do people even own it? But in that moment, there was a. There was a revelation to recognize that the vehicle that I was in the little box, that if I keep earning. And as a personal trainer, I was making 60 bucks an hour cash, right? Like, some of the guys and some of the fathers are making half of that, and they're not making cash. So as I'm sitting there and I'm going, all right, how many hours, how many train. How many clients do I have to train? How many fucking reps do I have to count? Okay, cool. Then we've got $2,000 a week. Okay? No worries. 2,000, 4,000, plus all my bills. I'm back. I'm back to like 500 a week in profit if I don't spend and I can save $500 a week. Dude, that would take a year and a bit. Okay, 52 weeks in a year. It take a year and a bit like 60 weeks to make the car just for the car. 60 weeks. That's fucking like it's not going to work out. There has to be a win away. And so I suppose that that moment was when I started to actually explore. My mind was like going, well, what I'm doing is incorrect. And it just allowed me to open up, open up to the idea that there is another way. There is a way where. And so it led me on journeys of Internet marketing, fucking like, you know, opening up little dental agencies and running ads for dentists and a myriad of other things. And can I sell supplements as well to my clients and that, you know, I created a little supplement and then I started to partner up and open up a studio with, with, with some people who had like seven studios in Brisbane and then they wanted to open to Melbourne. And I just said yes. Because the reality is I knew I was in the wrong vehicle, so I had no fucking nothing to lose. So I literally had to say yes to everything. The, the, the, the reality is most people in that box are saying no. Firstly, they're going no. Right? They've even, they've even just quitted on themselves. They've even gone, it's not for me. It's not my life. I'm happy with my life. Or I don't think you are. I don't think you are. Because there will come a time where fuel becomes so expensive, cost of living becomes so expensive. Something fucking happens. Like I'm going to tell you this. I'm going to tell. It's really fucking funny. So there's, there's something that will happen inside of your life. Like you think that you're comfortable, there's something that will happen inside of your life. I have my cars on the company. I've registered my cars with VicRoads or whatever the roads are. It's all under the company, right? And we've had speeding fines. We've had four of them. And so we were away in Paris two years ago. And so we never got the notifications because we're moving around. So we're moving around from Blair Gary to South Yarra in Victoria. So we leave our property. I don't get any of the notifications that we've had fines on our company. No worries. Okay? Three weeks ago, got a letter from VicRoad saying, hey, like, we're gonna shut down these cars and we're gonna deregister them because you haven't. Haven't actually paid the fines. We didn't know what the fines were. I was like, all right, cool. No worries. I'll pay the fines. What are they? They're gonna be a few hundred bucks. So I call up Vic Rhodes, and I say, hey, like, this is my customer number. Do you have my account? They pull up. Pull open my account. She's like, yeah, you've got four fines. I'm like, okay, cool. Can I pay them? Because, you know, like, I don't want to get the. I don't want to get pulled over by the cops if you're going to deregister my cars. And she's like, that'll be $15,920. And I was just like, excuse me, like, sorry, What? It's like $15,920. I'm like, what do you mean, we've got four fines? What did I do? Did I run, like, you know, 100k's over the limit or some shit? No. She's like, hey, no. Like, I'm looking at most of your speeds. They're under 10 kilometers. And I'm like, well, why are they $15,900, almost 16K? And she's like, oh, look, sir, it's because, you know. And actually, she didn't say sir, because the pricks on these Vic roads, they're very, like, pompous. These government workers are super pompous when you talk to them, right? I don't. I don't really talk to them, but they're really like, oh, well, the Karen, we shall call them. Oh, well, no, they're under the company, and you need to nominate a driver. And I've never, like, ever experienced this. I'm like, okay, cool. Can you nominate a driver? And it's like, $300 and demerit points. And she's like, oh, no, we can't, because it's past the nomination date. And I said, well, what's the choices? What are the options? Just like, well, the options are you just pay this or, you know, you get deregistered. And I'm like, well, I suppose I'm gonna have to pay this. No. Shocking to me not because it sideswiped me in the place. Now I'm going back to the original story here, which was most people think that they're okay in the box, and yet they don't recognize that their income is okay keeping them on the edge of just being alive. And yet when there is a moment, like, this where you cop a fine, you cop a bill, you tackle copper tax bill, your family has to go to hospital, you have to pay for someone's cancer treatment. Do you freak the fuck out because you don't realize, recognize that everybody's just living on the box? And the moment that something comes across and smacks you over the head and says, here you go, here's 30 grand that you have to pay. Here's 16 grand that you have to pay if you don't have the ability to produce, you freak the fuck out. So in that moment, I'm like, all right, what do I do? Shit, this is annoying. But roger that, it is what it is. Like, cool. I just have to figure out with this skill. All right, cool, 16k. But you give that. You give that same scenario to somebody that's inside of a box that tells me I'm okay, I'm comfortable. It's not for me. I'm doing good, I'm doing okay. You give that situation, you're doing comfortable assuming that everything stays the same. You're doing comfortable assuming that life does not hit you in the balls and the face does not smack you around and says, hey, here you go, here's a 20k fine. Or, here you go, your dad needs treatment for cancer, and it's going to cost. Oh, no, it's not even your dad. Look, let's be real. Your daughter needs treatment or she won't hear ever again. It's $25,000. What the fuck do you do? Or your wife's about. So we're all okay until life comes at you. Because we think that it's gonna be like this. We think, oh, we think our only bills are the water bill, the gas bill, by the way, as well. The more you make, the more bills. You suddenly just come up creeping at you. People start fucking asking you for shit. Like just, we have investment properties and suddenly, like, there's extra land tax and there's like, double land tax. I'm like, what the fuck is this? We don't even need property. I'm like, property is actually taking my focus off making money and, like, making me pay for some bullshit that isn't really even made. The property is not even making me get the fuck out of property. So this is the thing that people don't understand when they go invest in property. Invest in property. You have to recognize that when you have a skill and you go all in that skill, the biggest ROI is that skill. It's not going to invest in property because you recognize that when you have to fix that property, do all the shit. There's not a lot of money in it. And the people that actually make money in the property is the government, the lawyers and the fucking real estate agents. And you're left with all the shit. And you don't realize this until you actually get to a place, but you're sold on the whole idea at the bottom that this is what it, this is what you need. Everybody that has property, I'm like, oh yeah, tell me how's the property going? Whereas the skill you can actually build, you can actually build skills, you can actually make money quicker, faster, better. It's like the better you get at your skills and your craft, the more money you can make. Like property, it's this slow burning thing over time. Okay, now is it not a bad idea to store money and keep money and like save money? Yes. If you suck at managing money and you need a place to store it because you can't stop spending it, sure. But that's not because property is good. It's just because you have shitty spending habits and that if you can't even maintain money in your bank account without going broke, that's not, that's not property being good. That's just you sucking. So I'm going to go back to the original thing, which is most men think that they're okay in the box. Like I can talk to people in my, that's related to me. Ah, look, I'm doing okay. Yeah, you're doing okay for now because you just think that all your bills are water bills, house bills, you know, shopping bills, etc. And you got it sorted but life hasn't hit you yet. And life will come in, hit you. And the question is, are you prepared for that moment?

There's levels as well. Like business owners. What happens if you get a 5, 6, 7 figure dollar bill or lawsuit?

Yeah, they freak out. And look, the reality is, here it is the being a business owner is one of the hardest things in the world. Like it is because most, most, most of us start a business because we have something good and we're just like fucking, let's, let's, let's go be it. Become a business owner. Because I don't want to work for anybody. Cool. So then you start becoming a business owner, you start doing some shit and then you start to recognize shit. There's a lot more with being a business owner. Firstly being able to make money and being able to make money consistently on a day to day basis. Okay, that's the first Part. The second part is then, fucking, fuck. Shit, we're making a lot of money, but I don't have time. I'm all stressed out. So then figuring out how to hire people for the very first time, shit, you've never hired anybody. And you're going to recognize that people are not that clever. So you're going to hire people, and then it's just a waste of time. So you go back into that little conundrum. And then as you're trying to figure out this game between trying to make money, hire people and fire people at the same time, and keeping everything together, suddenly every quarter you got a little tax bill coming along saying, hey, man, by the way, just don't forget. And you're like, what the fuck is bass? Right? So the transition is, what is this, what is this whole thing? What is this whole idea? And why do I have to pay this person? Why do I have to pay? There's all. There's all these things that come up as the more employees you hire, the more insurance that you have to pay. Work cover insurance and shit just comes up at you, right? So not only are people in a box, right, but getting out of the box ain't easy too, because it's like a jungle out there with a lion and a tiger and they all coming after you. And at the same time, you have no food. It's like literally survivor, you have no food. You're running around trying to find food. By the time you find food, you're like, oh, fuck, I'm out of food. And I get why people stay in the same box. But the reality is this, staying in the box is. Leads to no prosperity for you. Leads to absolutely no prosperity. At least if you get outside the box and you learn the only way to win. Is to work on your skills and to get so fucking good that you. You become so undeniable that it's impossible for you to fail. Like, that's it. That's the only guarantee that you'll have in life. Staying in the box. No guarantee. Cool. You got a steady job for now. Cool. You're comfortable? Great. Wait till you get a bill. Wait till some. Wait till your son or daughter has cancer and you have to fucking fork out tons of money. Wait till you have a car accident and it's your fault. Or even if you have a car accident, it's not your fault they don't have insurance. Whatever the case is, she life is going to get at you and then you're gonna freak the fuck out because you've just been trained to be in a box, and you're not gonna know how to handle it. Then your wife will look at you and she'll be like, man, I don't want to be with this guy because he's like a little girl. If I wanted to marry a girl, I'd be a lesbian. But I'm not a lesbian. And I want. I didn't. I need a man to look after me because I have just sacrificed my whole entire career just to look after his kids. And actually, I've lost as a woman. She gives up. She gives you. She gives up her identity to actually serve the family. And I. I truly believe that's, like, the most noble thing women do. They, like mothers, not women. Mothers sacrifice their body. They fucking get the life drained out of them. If you've ever seen, like, every time a mum breastfeed, she's thirsty, it's just life force getting sucked out of her. It's. It's the. It's the essence of sacrifice. Okay? Now she's sacrificing herself. She's looking to the man for support for. For, like, hey, men, can you give me support? Can I count on you to fucking bring home some bread? Can I count on you to just be there to help out as I'm sacrificing myself? And men are like, duh. And so foundationally, that's where shit goes wrong. Fundamentally. That's why we're here. We talk about roles and responsibilities, but foundationally, truly, if you're a man in the box, it's fucking hard life in the box, and it's also a hard life outside of the box. But, Alex, would you ever go back in the box where your ability to produce is taken away from you? No. Because, you know, just like me, life is going to throw some curveballs. And you. You know that you don't want to be the guy that puts your hands up and says, I surrender, and says, sorry, tax bill, I don't know. I don't have the money. And then you have to beg your uncles and borrow. But, man, I love this because this is the shit that nobody talks about. This is the real shit that men face. You and me, fathers, that we have to deal with the responsibilities. And I'm just trying to articulate it and lay out the truth, the facts. I deal with this shit every day. It's not easy to deal with. By all means. It's. It's like a daily. It's a daily burden that sits on your shoulders and nobody knows.

Yeah, definitely making Money. Such a competitive game, too, man. So inherently, as a man, you should always be in a position where you can make more and produce and provide. And I look back at my life with all the problems, all the challenges I had with Corinne, the breakdown seven years ago, it was all around money. And she gave up her entire identity to have Stella and Lillian and Roman. We did IVF for the first two.

And I look at what was the breakdown like? Like, you were running your gyms. She, she, she just became a mum for the first time. She's like, trying to. Just like, she's trying to deal with the whole change, right?

Yeah, it just became tension because if I didn't have the money, the business wasn't doing good, man. To financially provide for her, to take away some of the stress of being a mum for the first time with health issues. And this is what I mean. It just stacks and compounds where, if money can solve the problem, a nanny once a week, like, something as simple as that, man. And then from there became adrift. And then that's why we stopped communicating. And then, yeah, I, I suppose.

Bunnies. Money's. Money's the first layer. It's. It's not. It doesn't solve all the problems. It's the first layer and generally it's quite like quite a lot of the big problem. Hey, if you had more money just to just chill the out and have more patience for each other, you had more money so that if your daughter, like, accidentally broke a glass, you didn't lose your. Because you. You have to buy a new one. If you just had money for your wife to just go and just treat herself to a fucking massage because her body's aching from fucking carrying the kids all day. So it's not everything, but it actually buys you space and it buys you time and breathing room. And with that breathing room, you can actually begin to communicate and process things, like, correctly. Okay, cool. Hey, are we good? What do you need? But it all gets so confusing because money seems to be the thing, but nobody wants to admit it because there's so much shame in it. It's like, oh, you don't produce enough money, but you don't do work. And then it becomes blame. And it's like, well, maybe the truth is you don't produce enough money. Is there anything wrong with that? No. Okay, cool. So there's absolutely nothing wrong in not producing any more money. Right? It's just a fact. It is what it is. And you literally go, roger that. That's why I go, hey, like if anything happens, like if there's tension, I'm not preaching, Roger that. But it just becomes money is so attached to your ego in terms of who you are defined as, as a man. And the reality is most people don't want to be exposed on how shitty they are, how, how little they've performed in life, how little they've performed as a responsibility. Does that make sense when, when we talk about this? It attacks the ego, it attacks the sense of self, it identity to go, have I even performed? It's just like when you attack somebody that's fat. And I was telling you saying this to you the other day. If you attack somebody that's fat, but they're like a CrossFit champion, they don't give a fuck. They're like, dude, I'm fat, but I'm CrossFit champion. I could outperform you any day. You. It's not the problem isn't that people are fat. It's because what you're inherently saying is you're saying that they're lazy. You're attacking their character. You're not attacking the physical side. Fat means lazy. You're upset because they're calling you lazy. And it's true. Because I guarantee you, if you're fat, like, like, cool, I'm pudgy sometimes, right? You can attack me, but at the end of the day, I know I put in the work, I'm like, cool, I'll be able to outspread you. I'll be able to probably out wrestle you. I'll probably be able to outlift you. So therefore, your words don't really have an effect on me because I'm not lazy. But people are offended because fat equals lazy. So you're not upset because you're fat, you're upset because you're lazy. And the craziest part about being lazy is you get to change that. So that's a really interesting fact. But going back to this, we need more men to gather together. And if this is something that resonates, if you are a man struggling and you're like, in the box, you're like, lin, I'm in the box. And you know, I hear you. I had a few fines. I was doing a speeding ticket or something came up and I had to come up with money and it stressed me the fuck out, and I don't want to be put in that position. Well, then you have to learn a skill. And maybe, or maybe if you're a man outside of the box and you're in the jungle, Going, fuck, man, this is really tough because, yeah, I can't even get back to stage one. I don't even know how to make more money, right? Because there's stage one. It's make money. Okay, cool. Stage two is scale your product and get a team. Get. Get a team in there, right? Like those. That's it. Like, if you can do that, that's good. And then there's stage three is like balancing the books when you actually make money, okay? So then there's like the. The tax office looking at you and going, hey, every fucking quarter, you better balance your books or order your ass. And if you have ever been ordered it, you'll know it's probably the most painful shit because your mind's not focusing on making money. Your mind focused on not getting into prison, right? So, like, it's a whole game of, like, it's not as easy as let's focus on making money. Because as you grow. Oh, as you know this, as you grow, there's management and there's other things that are going to take attention from your mind from just making money this stupid that comes up, okay? Like team members that are going to come in and stop you and tell you that this isn't good enough. We've experienced that. And it slows down the whole entire vehicle. You're gonna have people that are coming in and giving their opinions and shit, and it just slows everything down. And the whole game is that you should be fast and easy because it's just a game of, let's make money and let's deliver on our service. That's it. Now we deliver by having more people help out, deliver on the service. Cool. We make more money by marketing and selling shit. Okay, cool. So. So it becomes very complicated. People lose their shit. And this is the journey of a business owner stepping outside the box and then going into the jungle. And that's why many men don't make it. We talk about, you ask me, why don't men make it up the mountain at the bottom? Because at the bottom, men, you're just in the box. You're in the box and you believe all the stories of people in the box. You have no idea what's outside the jungle. For the very first, it's only stories. But in the box, you're just like, oh, yeah, it's really scary out there. At least that's my take. At least that's my take. You've gone through, bro, you've gone through about a thousand, two thousand consults this year with men what is one big thing? Like, what's pissed you off the most about men that you talk to? And they haven't done anything because of this particular reason? What's the reason that they give? Like, what are the excuses that men are throwing out there to, like, stay the same, to go, hey, you know what? I won't fucking get better. You know what? I won't develop myself. Hey, you know what? What's that one big thing that's like, kind of pissed you off? What's maybe a consult, a call, a conversation you've had that's been really annoying?

Biggest thing, man, which is probably fundamentally across the board, the exact same thing is they just don't take ownership. You know, their words don't match their actions. So they say they want this, this, this and that. You know, I want to have an amazing marriage. I want to build my business, make more money. I want to be back in shape again. I want to have a great. I want to build a legacy. And, yeah, your actions don't match, bro. You've got to check with your wife. Money's a little bit tight right now. Go make some more and then commit to yourself. You don't even invest in yourself yet you just told me that you've spent thousands of dollars on drugs and alcohol. Yeah, like, it's just.

It's.

It's at the root cause it's lying.

Yeah. What you're telling me is that most men that you talk to are full of. They've just lied. They've been so conditioned to lie. And. And. And they've been so conditioned to, like, just make promises to their wife and their people and not actually follow through. They've just been lying to people, right? And then they'll. They'll say that they want to change. Like, hey, baby, I'm ready. This. This is. This is it, baby. This is. Give me one more chance.

Yeah.

What? That's. That's very frustrating. I genuinely think, like. Like I told you this at the start, being in the box and being outside the box, it's the hardest game in the world. But if you fucking lie and you trick yourself and you believe it, like, if you lie and you believe it, which is you believe it, which is you justify it, then you're just fucked because nobody can help you outside of the box. Okay. It just becomes really difficult to win. Your family don't trust you. It becomes really difficult to win if you don't have your partner's trust. And so, yeah, this is. This is. This is why. This is why we're putting this together. My friend. My friend. We're saying the most. The most. The most offensive things that you could call a brother. Hey, pal. Hey, dude. Hey, man. Now it's my friend. Yeah.

I've never. I've never done this to anyone older than me. Not that we're really young anymore, but I hate it when people younger than me used to call me Buddy. I was like, hey, I'm not 10 years of age and I'm older than you.

Hey, buddy, I'd never.

I'd never say that to any. Any. Any man, you know, obviously, pay me. Paying my respects and. But, yeah, buddy. Buddy's a big one. Yeah, but sad, man. These lies. Like, that's why I say ignorant. Yeah, the whole, like, the. The stories I tell them. That's why I asked. You think it's ignorance, but that's what it is. They create all these little stories. It's like, man, like, if you're. If you're telling me this now, like, what's going on at home? You told me part of what's happening in your marriage, but there's so much more to that than your wife. The gaps you mentioned, there's so many gaps.

Yeah, then that's a big one, I think. You know, I think I've. I've lived a life where I've gone through a lying stage, a posturing stage, and now I'm at a stage where it's like, I don't give a fuck. Like, I'm just so open and I'm an open book that I'm like, hey, if you want to know anything, just ask me and I'll tell you directly. And this is how it is. And I think back to the years that I did lie. And more importantly, those years were in my childhood when I was living with my parents. And quite often, I would lie about shit. I'd lie about taking their money, stealing their money. I would lie about coming home late because I'd go to my friend's house. But, you know, I have to stay at school, study clubs and shit. I'd lie about everything to my parents. And I started to recognize. I started to think back as I had kids. I'm like, why did I lie?

What.

What kid has the audacity to learn lying? Like, when do kids learn how to lie? Why do they have to lie? Because generally, innately, what I started to recognize I had to lie for survival. Because my parents didn't want to hear the truth. They didn't accept the truth, and the truth was never Rewarded. It was always, tell me, tell me that you're a good son and tell me that you're studying. I don't want to hear anything else. Okay, I'm a good son, I'm studying, tell me, like, does that make sense? And it, the lies came from fear. It was the fear of being ostracized, teased, bullied, etc, etc, and so people lie because there is so much of that. Because the truth is not rewarded, the truth is not praised. And it generally starts from generational. So if I can move on to my family, it's like kind of like I felt like I had to lie so I didn't get in trouble. And so it wasn't until probably I was 23, 24 until I broke that pattern. Because in my 20s too, there's, there's the lies, but then it kind of tones down itself. There's a lies to impress people. When you're out on dates, hey, I've got this going on, I've got a supplement company and it's lies to do with chicks, right? And there's a lies with your boys. It's like little lies that you have to do when you're with your boys and you're like, oh, yeah, what are you doing? I'm just doing so much, man. Yeah, I've got so much on. I could probably, if I, if I was coaching myself now, I'd be like, what are you going on? If I was hot seating the, the 18 year old version of Lynn, he would be, because I would be able to see straight through that. I'm like, tell me what you got. You got nothing on. Absolutely nothing. So say you have nothing, man. And so we. And that's how relationships are truly built and valued. So I get it, I get that men lie and it becomes this thing from very earlier on and at least me, if I didn't change that could have tapered on and been passed on. One of the people that's been the most integral to my life to be able to help me is Garrett White from Wake Up Warrior. And just that moment to have permission to own who you are was just an eye opening experience to go, hey man, this is me. If you like me, fucking fan. If you don't like me, that's also okay, cool. But I am who I am and I'm not going to hide. And it allowed me really, that experience allowed me to step outside and have a conversation with my parents about their parenting and to go, hey, as a kid this is how I felt. Now I could never have that conversation with them before that experience, because I could never, ever, you know, you're an Asian guy. You're trying to tell your dad, hey, dad, you, like, you didn't treat me well. What do you think he's going to do? He's going to smack the fuck out of you, right? Immigrants just smack. How dare you? Like, what do you. But it was that. It was the courage that I was able to have with my parents and go, hey, this is how I felt as a kid. This is. This is what's going on. This is not on. And then allow. To allow myself to step out of that relationship if we didn't actually come together and bond through connection. Truth, transparency, honesty. And we kind of just have to weave our way through shit. Because if you're an Asian culture, any immigrant culture, you know, status is the biggest thing. Like, my. My parents. My dad would talk about me in a way where it's like, he'd always make me look good to other people. Like, if we. We met up with my uncles and shit, he'd always be like, lynn's the best. He's fucking crushing, killing it. But never to my face, he'd say, he'd always be like, what do you. You're not the best. Like, you're not that smart. You can study harder. But to everybody else outside, there was a facade. It's like, oh, my son's the best man. He's killing it. And, yeah, you know us, his sister's a doctor, and we're so proud. And it was like, everybody just thought we had the fucking perfect family. And it was just this whole facade. And so that's that disconnect. And here's the thing. Where did I learn to lie? I learned to lie up straight.

Him.

Because I saw lying. That's all I adopted. But it wasn't. It wasn't until I worked with Garrett and we just worked through this place of going, hey, man, you don't have to lie like it was. You have to find that place. Why are you lying? You don't have to lie. You can honestly be yourself and it's okay. And that was, for me, that may not be the experience of other men that lie, but the moment. But. But if you continue to lie, then you cannot build a foundation with. With. You can't be honest with your wife and children. They cannot trust you. They know you're lying. Your wife will know and see through all of your shit more than anything else, because she spends the most time with you. You cannot lie to her.

Yeah, it Takes courage too, man. And I think there's an approach to this as well. And this is definitely, hopefully sounding the right way. Where it's supporting what you're saying, where what's most important is bringing up the.

Truth.

Not necessarily trying to find and tell all truths. You know, that's beige, that's black, you're three kilos over. Like you don't have fucking time for that. The people that matter most. What matters most to your life is owning the most important truths and all of those.

Yeah.

And that takes courage, man. You're right. Like these guys on these calls, it's takes courage. I don't know if it's us or if it's them just basically saying, no, I don't think my family's worth paying that much money. Like, that's how I know I can be extreme. But I'm like that. That's bait. Don't. Don't tell me. I'll get back to you and I'll check with my wife and. Because they're afraid of the same thing, people like, because of fear of rejection or.

Yeah.

Or the pursuit of social acceptance. Same thing, opposite side.

I. I think. I think there's another thing that we've lost in society and it's reputation. It's a man that has his word and men that honor their word. There is no more honoring the word. The word means absolutely nothing. Men can say stuff and they can get away with it. And the reasons why word was so important before was if you didn't keep your word, there was a consequence. You'd have bad reputation, you'd be ostracized, you'd be kicked out of the tribe. You'd be like, this guy's a fucking liar. Do not trust him. And so respect and honor such a big thing. Because it was the. It was all you had. And right now you don't need to have it. Right. Because right now you can just flick, tap up, scroll up, swipe right, left, etc etc and move on to the next thing. Because the tribes were so small, we could only know 15, 20 people. If you did not keep your word, it was like, you're out. You're out of the tribe. Now you can go find a new tribe, you can flake around, you can go fly out to a different part of the world and meet new people. So there is no incentive to keep your word, your word. But back then, I suppose there was. There was. Because if you didn't keep your word, you'd be kicked out. You'd have nowhere to Go. And so when I look at keeping your word, I genuinely believe that that's something that it is so integral to trust, you know, did you do what you said you'll do? Did you, like, for us, it's like, did you wake up in the morning, okay, cool. Did you do some planning? Okay, cool. Did you get some shit done? Okay, cool. Did you eat well? Cool. Okay, cool. Then I've kept my word today. And that's, that's such a strong, powerful thing. But, yeah, so the point of this is this. We are here to help men. I'm here to help myself, I'm here to help Alex, as we are all in the same fucking boat. This is not a game of nobody's in this boat. This is a game of, hey, like, we just need to help each other get out of the boat. If you are struggling financially, it's going to get harder. Like fuel prices, food prices, all that shit that's going to keep going up. Housing is going to get more, it's going to get more expensive. Your jobs will be worthless because AI and automation will come in and they'll cut your jobs. And so it's this game of going, shit. How do you look into the future and figure out that the only person that has full control of it is you and your skill sets? Why, and why does money matter? Because it is integral to building. It is integral to building and having options to build a good family home. Okay? To allow yourself to support your wife, to allow yourself to give patience to your children. That's why it matters. But, yeah, I believe that is past the hour. Mark, do you have anything else to add?

Good chat. No, I really like it, man. Like, I like when you and me have these sorts of chats on or off air. You know, it's great just to continue.

We do have these chats off air. We. I have a lot of, you know, we, we have a lot of these chats off air and we've all got our struggles. Like, I'm sitting here with, you know, my struggle to, to figure out what is that Next thing. How do I privately educate Ocean and Atlas? You know, how do I support Kerry when she does want to get back to work and she does want. If she doesn't, just for being, she doesn't feel fulfilled just being a mum. Like, how do I then kind of taper that in? Like, there's, there's, there's different struggles. The hardest struggle is always at the bottom. Like, no doubt about that. Like, if you are broke, you have got no money. You're in a shit show with your wife. You're arguing. It feels like there is so much pressure on you because you don't have time. And the reasons why you don't have any time feels like you have no time. Everything becomes walking on eggshells. You say the one thing wrong, it blasts up. There's no patience. There's no time. Right? There's no. There's not. You don't have time because you don't have the money. Money gets you back to time. So in that place, and quite often, we now allude to this third argument, the reasons why you're there is you have been a man that has not been keeping his word for whatever reason you say you said shit, you didn't do it. Whatever fucking reason that you have. And the last part that I might leave you with is you don't need therapy. You don't need to. You don't need to, like, find yourself as well, because we'll talk this about. We'll talk about nuding yourself and cutting off your balls on the next episode with all this hippie. That's going to stop you from. From being the best version because you're losing the feel. But, yeah, love it. Until next time, my friend. Guys, comment down below. Let us know what. What you think. But more importantly, what do you do? Like, are you an accountant? Are you a bookkeeper? Are you a tradie? Are you a truckee? Are you a builder? Fuck, I'd love to get to know builders. I would. I would love a contact list of builders because building costs have, like, tripled since COVID and you guys are highly sought after. So, like, there's so much connection to be had here, but the conversation needs to be started.

Well, that wraps up another episode. And just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you. And then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart, and there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes four or five times, and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. And also, if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life. Repetition is the key. You've listened to it. Write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak them. Believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you you can remember. And make sure you consistently learn and relearn what is it's true and what is it is important to you in your heart. Take care. Have an amazing day night weekday weekend and I'll see you for another one soon. Cheers.