235. Becoming The Father He Never Had Growing Up

Hey, real quick, enjoy the upcoming episode. If you haven't yet, give us a five star review. Jump on Amazon, itunes, Spotify, anywhere where you're listening to this. Or you could alternatively look at Facebook, Instagram, other ways to promote your love and appreciation for hpf. If you're aligned with a message and you love what you see. Take care. Have an amazing day night, weekday weekend, whenever you listen to this and enjoy this upcoming episode because there's some absolute gold nuggets that you're going to take away. Welcome to a very special podcast episode. I've got Brad Riddle with us. He is the owner of Hurt Locker, a father of two. This man I had to write down, mate, and trying to remember because there's so many accolades. He's done the 60k ultra marathon, the New York Marathon, the Inca Trail, he's gone to everest base camp, seven Ironman 70.3s now and three full Ironmans as well as like I said, a father of two. He is the epitome of what high performance father represents. Not that he's on the inside, but we came there last year and it was a phenomenal catch up. But Brad, welcome to the show, man. I'm glad you're here and I'm glad we had this chance to, to make this happen.

Nah, thanks. I really appreciate it, legend. I appreciate reaching out and get me on here.

Absolutely. We came there about 12 months ago at Hurt Locker and yeah, how did you, how did you find it, man? What was your thoughts on the experience and what you saw with the men and what we went through? You put them through their paces. A solid workout. But yeah, how'd you find it overall with what you saw with, with HPF and the boys?

Mate, to be honest, I'll just, I was just overwhelmed with just how proud I was with the guys for just putting their hand up and wanting help and wanting guidance. Me, I played football for a lot of years and I've been surrounded by a lot of males that, you know, put up a facade that they're all going good and they're going great. And I just love to see guys reach out and say, hey, I'm struggling a little bit or I might need some assistance somewhere. And so when those guys walked in the room like, Jesus, they were so supportive of one another and I just thought what they had going on was something really, really inspiring, really great to see.

It's pretty cool, man, that what we have in HPF is something we can connect with other people like yourself, your organization and really build relationships. I'M very excited we're going to be down there again in a couple of weeks. But we had an instant connection, man, where I saw your energy, your work ethic. I think at the time, Bubs number two was just about to be born. And mate, I wanted to do this podcast for 12 months, man, because I'm like, I just got to get rids on because I know he's going to add so much value and really help inspire a lot of these men because his natural aura and energy is. It is attractive. It is infectious, man, which is why we're here, here today. You know, mate, talk me through. That's a lot, man. Iron Man's marathons, Everest Trail runs like, what? Talk us through, man. What did you discover and learn and, and what were your takeaways from some of these incredible physical feats? What did you learn about yourself, your mindset? Well, both at the pinnacle when you achieved it, and also in preparation to hit some of these big milestones, man. What did you discover? What did you learn? What were your takeaways?

I just think you find out what you're actually capable of. And I always say that, you know, when you do these long endurance events, you know, whether it be an ultra or an ironman, it represents so many times in life where you go through, we all go through it every single day. The I can't be bothered moments, or I can't be stuffed moments, or I'm really struggling moments and work becomes too much moments. And I always say to him, like, when I get home from work and I've been working a 16 hour day or a 14 hour day, and when I walk in that door, that's when the endurance kicks in. How I present myself to my wife, how I present myself to my kids, the energy that I want to, you know, display in front of them, well, I've already done the work. I know, I know what my body's capable of. So when I walk in there, it's not. I'll never ever say the words I'm tired or I can't be bothered or, you know, something becomes too much or you need to complain about getting a certain job done. I find that nothing through the normal day you'll ever experience the type of pain you're going to go through during those endurance events. So it has massive carryover. It makes every day easy for me. I tell everyone, like some of the worst feelings and the worst moments I've ever been through have been in those training runs. And I honestly believe when you front up to yourself when you're by yourself, I do a lot of my training by myself. I'm out there at 2am, 3am in the morning and you have to front up to yourself. It makes it easy to front up to everyone else. You have an element of respect for yourself and a standard you set for yourself. And if I can set that standard for myself in the dark, by myself, no one around 3am If I can show up for myself, trust me, I'll show up for everyone else. And I've done that the majority of my life. I've been in this fitness game for 20 years and there's never been a year go by that I haven't put myself on the line to challenge myself in some form of race or some form of game or some form of challenge or some form of mountain that I've wanted to run. And I take groups of people down to Wilson's prom and that could be some of the hardest days these people have ever experienced. But at the end of it, they always say to me they're a better person because of it. And that carries over to work. You know, I can't express enough to, to everyone that at some point in their life, everyone, everyone at some point in their life, they should be challenged. Whether or not it be a marathon or whether it be a fitness challenge or a physical challenge. They need to see what they're capable of because then it makes every day really, really easy.

Yes, agreed. Man. It actually takes me back to when I first launched HPF six years ago where I was pumping 18 hour days. But the reason why I could Ritz was because I was an international CrossFit athlete at 111 kilos, 7% body fat, who could just train for four hours a day, which means work is easy. What you're talking about here is almost like threshold training, right? Like if you can do like. You guys listen to what Brad's saying there. Like he's 2, 3am get ups, no one's around, so no one's there to keep him accountable than himself. He's just like. So the head noise, the little voice is like, here's this man dominating in the dark, 2 and 3am that's that building that threshold means that everything else, like you said, Ritz is carryover into family. As a father and these personal mantras or philosophies, they really do stick. Because what I've found over the years is where you raise your threshold to your baseline closely follows. So your baseline is like, well, man, if I can do that, I can at Least do this. And that's like, I mean, I did 500 strict pull ups last year, but the goal was under 100 minutes. That was really hard, man. Like I'm six four, you've met me. Like, big dude, strict pull ups, no kipping or butterflies. It was really fucking hard. But after that I was like, fuck, man, if I can do that, then I can do this. And there was this transfer over of physical performance which carries over without a doubt. It's pretty, it's pretty special, man, I guess in terms of like your achievements and mentality. What are some of the breakthroughs that you see with, with people when you see them sort of hit that new, that milestone? Like, what is it? Like this epiphany you see before even in the suffering, like, talk us through, like some of the men and fathers you work with where they're not fit, they've neglected themselves, they haven't been investing themselves and you get them to another level. Like if. Do you see that awakening with like now I'm like, what do you see, man, when you do this with other people?

Yeah, the biggest behavioral change they have is they actually have relief and confidence in themselves. And then their vocabulary starts to change. They start to not mention things like, oh, it's a bad day today, or I'm tired today, or the simplistic, like the simple complaints that everyday people have, they rock up. It starts to change. Every day is like exciting. What am I going to accomplish today? I can do so much, you know. And you literally see their whole bodies change, their posture changes, the way their face reacts, changes every day. They walk into the gym now, it's not about, oh, I've done one marathon or I've done one 10k run. It's about what's next. And they're excited. They're excited about what's next. Not when they walk in the start, they kind of like they're untapped. They don't know what they can actually do on a day, you know, and that all stems from confidence and belief. So when they get out of bed, it changes their mindset from today's a drainer. I've got to pay these bills, I've got to get this food, I've got to do this shopping, I've got to, you know, get petrol in the car. And all these simple things that people complain about become just a, just a novelty. Oh, get done. I'll get it done, I'll get it done. Just another training session. I'll get it done, get it done. Their mindset completely shifts. And I tell everyone, like, whenever, whenever I get guys to plan to do any of these things, just one thing front of the other, but 1k at a time. Everyone can run, everyone can walk, everyone can lift one kilo at a time. And once they get that gradual belief, they start to change. And they're not just that they start to get it, but then the flow on, right? They'll either influence their friends and their family to have that flow on, or they'll completely separate. And that's okay as well. You either take your friends with you and your family with you, or people will drop off. That's you see in life. But just to see that individual change their belief and their confidence is a really good thing to see it.

Couldn't agree more, man. It's crazy, isn't it? That whole confidence game is like, we talk about it a lot in hp. It's like, hey, if you can build a track record of just some actions, you can leverage that as fuel to go, hey, I'm a fucking winner. I can do this. Now. If you don't try, you'll never have it. You can't. You can't fabricate this stuff, man. Life will figure you out. Like, you can't. The truth always wins. But what we're talking about is these personal mantras. Like, I've got one here just on a little whiteboard just to my right here, which isn't in the screen, but it says right at the top, feeling tired is a choice. And sometimes I'll reverse cycle. Sometimes it'll be like negative mindset pieces, you know, where I'm like, obviously the reverse is the answer. And other times it'll be more uplifting. I leverage both. I think they're both important. But, mate, feeling tired is a choice doesn't say that. You and I as organisms need and require rest at some stage to rejuvenate sunrises, sun, sights, and so on and so forth. But yeah, man, feeling tired is a fucking choice. And that mindset mentality can only be sustained in the face of life, adversity, our wife, our wives, our children, workers, colleagues, clients. If we can pull from something that has raised the bar because the threshold's so much higher than that, we're like, hang on a minute, I can still perform here. But you're cut from a different cloth though, man. Like, if the whole world was like, this would be a whole different world. The reality is less than 1%, probably. If we're looking at 8 billion people, I guess have this perspective or this Awareness. Let's rewind a little bit, man. Where did all this come from for you, Ritz? Like, what drives you, man? Like, where did you find this inner fight to be? Like, hey, man, I'm gonna fucking build my life. I'm gonna be an amazing father and family. Like, where did this all come from? And what drives you today to keep pushing?

Yeah. So a lot of people do know me and they've known me for a long period of time and some people don't know where it actually stemmed from and how I actually look at life is a bit different to other people. And what I always say to everyone, like, I was taught a lot of life lessons very early on in life and I'm very fortunate for that. I never look at the glass half empty, look at half full, always. So I was one of four boys and I was. I was raised in a very physical household as a young, young child, to the point where I don't actually have a good memory in my mind of my father. It got to the point where it got so physical and alcohol consumption got so great that, that my mum ended up having to run away from my father with four boys by herself when I was six. My oldest brother Scott was 10, my second oldest brother Aaron was eight and my youngest brother was five, was four at the time. So once that happened, we. Mum took us away and we're on the other side of state and it didn't see our dad and, and there was, There was reason for that, you know, for that physicality, the influence you'd have on these young boys, you know, become many. I always say to everyone, like, apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You know, if your dad drinks alcohol, consumes alcohol and is exfoliatory and it's very physical, there's a great chance you're going to be raised that way as well. And then you become a physical dad and you become an alcoholic and you become all these things that you've been, that you've seen in front of you. You know, you become what you're surrounded by. So as we're growing up, I made distinct decisions in my life like that that was not going to be me. I wasn't going to be someone. I'm not saying I don't drink alcohol at all. I'm just not consumed by it. Very rarely do I drink alcohol maybe once or twice a year at a special event and I don't over consume it. I've never touched a drug my whole life. I've been on footy trips and I've stood in a room with 32 other males and all other 31 had taken some sort of substance or some sort of drug. And I stood on my own two feet and I said, no, it's not me. Like, you have to be able to not be affected by the people around you. And so I made distinct decisions in my life that. That was not the way I wanted to be. I had a really clear role model that my oldest brother, Scott, who was four years older than me, he. He went down the other line. He. He did go into substance abuse, he did go into alcohol abuse. He was a very, very physical human being himself. And then when he had his first child with his wife, there was some, you know, separation there. And then he became divorced and that ended up in him taking his own life. And so I had that example in front of me. And still this day, a lot of people say, like, I don't really complain about. I don't ever complain about not having a father. I don't ever talk about my brother didn't go through depression or anxiety and that's the reason why he committed suicide. It's purely that he had that emotional disconnection from a father. He wanted his father in his life. Alcohol and drugs just literally just upped the emotional side of it for him and that he couldn't deal with that and that ended up him taking his own life. It's still, that's still. That's not something for me to complain about. I still feel that I'm very, very fortunate. I learned these life lessons in life. Don't be that kind of father, don't use that kind of substance because it doesn't work with you emotionally. The hardest thing I've ever had to do is. And I tell everyone this, and this is something that I take with me. The hardest thing I've ever had to do is knock on my mum's door at 3am after the police told me that my brother had committed suicide. And the cop asked me then goes, brad, do you want to be the person to tell your mum that she's lost her firstborn son, or would you like us to do it? And I was thankful that I had the strength in me because of everything that I'd been through in life and my training and my resilience and everything that just made me up as a person. I was like, I'll do that. That's my responsibility to be the person. I don't want some random stranger telling my mum that she's lost her son. And throughout all these lessons in life and not having a father and losing her brother and telling my mum that she lost her son and the alcohol abuse and the substance abuse. Now I just lined these dominoes up and I said, that is not what I want to be. Knock them over. One step at a time. Knock them over. And then from there this is, this is created the person I am today. And it's never, I've never fluctuated from that. People, people always say me, like Brad is so black and white. You know, there is no gray area. I stand on my own two feet. I had these moles. I stick to my morals no matter what. Don't trade, don't take drugs or not take drugs. Be the first there, be the last to leave. Be the hardest worker in the room. Train, inspire, help as many people as I can in life. And that is my mission. I tell everyone. And you read out a few things earlier on about marathons and so forth. Never run a marathon by myself. I've always ran. Every official marathon I've ever done, I've done to try and help and support someone else to run their marathon. So I run next to them. The training runs don't count for me. I've done ultras and so I don't really care. For me it's about setting an example from the lessons that I've learned in life that have created me to be the person I am, but purely just to help everyone else. And then from there create a gym and then a series of trainers around that that can literally help out and branch out. Because I could, me personally, I can only help a certain amount of people, right? And only a certain amount of people gonna, are gonna really understand and see where I'm coming from. Some people look at me and go, this guy's just crazy. Like, it's just no one can do this, no one can be like that. But I try to show as many people as I can that they can also do it and then they can help the next people in line, the next people in line. And I said, everyone, we've all got stories to tell and we've all got, you know, ways to tell it. The one thing I want to get across is that don't ever feel sorry for me. I'm very, very blessed that I had a mother that was able to raise four boys, that was able to take the courage to do it by herself, work a full time job. And then I would say I go, Brad, like I'm married, but the loving support of my wife, I've got Two kids. And it's challenging, right? Run a business, it's challenging, right? Getting up at 2am, 3am, it's challenge life. I go, and my mom did it by herself. Four boys, work full time. So that's what's created me. I always look at things not as in I didn't have a dad. That's cool. I'm okay with that. What I'm. What I really lean on is how did a mum raise four boys by herself, Work full time by herself, cook food on the table by herself, clothes washed every night by herself. So when I'm out training and when I'm out doing my things, that's what's going through my head. I'm always thinking about other people, just thinking about how do they do it, how they push so hard. If they can push so hard, Rich, you better push. Like, no matter what it is, when you're at wit's end, you just keep fighting. And so going back to your question that, that hopefully it answers it is, is what created me to be the person I am today. I just look at life lessons and how fortunate I am to have learned them so early on in life. And then also fortunate enough to learn what I love to do in life. I learned that obviously I was. Was put here to just help and I just want to help as many people as I can. And hopefully they get that, you know, and the guys listening to this, hopefully they get their message and they go, you know what? Some people get dealt cards and it's just the way you look at it, you know, look at you go, poor me. Or you go, hey, learn a good lesson, teach it, learn from it, and then appreciate it.

Yeah, it's pretty powerful stuff, man. What I see there is extreme ownership Ritz, where it's like, fuck, mate, you know, like, and, and value in, in the perspectives that you take, like your perspective around things and the opportunity of, of life and doing the greatest we can with the cars we're dealt is. It's pretty inspiring, man. What you're talking about is using the experience you've had in the past and the lessons from that to just keep moving forward and building and continuing to build. And that's, that's. That's a pretty hard thing to do in an unwavering fashion. How, how have you not deviated from that? Been tempted or faulted or fallen down? Is it because it's literally part of your DNA now? It's only a set of, you know, you stand for something and that means you're against which I'm the same man. I'd rather stand for something than fall for everything. But, like, yeah, how has that been for you to consistently be a high performer at that level and not deviate? Is it just because of the repetitions of what you keep reinforcing? Are there mantras there like, how. How do you stay true to that man and consistent?

I just. In the back of your mind, you have to put all the time, no matter what you, how vulnerable you are or what you're going through, in the back of your mind, you've always got to say to yourself, you do not want to let the people down that mean the most to you. And for me, growing up, that was my mum, that, that was, that was always in the back of my mind, like, how does this woman keep showing up for me every single time? So that was, that was the initial driver. And then as we become fathers, there's something else there now, right? Becoming a husband, that there's something else there now. And. But it just gets stronger. I feel that the more responsibility you take for this, the better you become, the stronger you become. You're starting to build up a team behind you now. First was, right, I don't want to let my mum down. I want to make her proud. That was it. I just wanted to make her proud. No matter what it was in life. I always said to my mum, Mum was like, what do you want to do when you get older? Like, it's okay to get a job and do it. I said, mom, I want to make a difference. That was it. That was my goal. That was my job. I remember I got married. My mum even made that. She made a speech and she said that. She goes, brad always said when he, when he was growing up, he just said, mom, I want to make a difference. It wasn't about getting a job and working the 9 to 5, but it was my whole life was, I just want to do something that's going to make a difference in this world. I want to help people in any way, shape or form I can. But the reality was that backbone of that was I wanted to make her proud. She meant something to me. She raised me. She did everything she could to put clothes on my back, get me to every sports game that I could, every training session I could. And you got to appreciate that. And I think that's something that you're just missing today. You just remind people of how much people have sacrificed to put you in the position that you're in, especially in this country. I always say to everyone, Especially here, you've got every opportunity under the sun and there's a great chance that someone puts you in that opportunity that you're in, right to be where you are. Not everyone's self made and not everyone's, you know, independent and being an orphan or being, you know, completely raised themselves from four years of age upwards, there's got to be something, a friend that you want to make proud of you or someone that is depending on you, that always in the back of your mind, don't forget it, they're watching you and that doesn't even, that person doesn't even need to be alive today. So my nan had a big influence. My life, I had, I had only one, one grandparent my whole life. My mum's, like I said, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. My, my mum's dad was a very, was an alcoholic, schizophrenic, very physical man as well. My dad was an alcoholic, ex military, you know, very physical man as well. So, you know, I always, always thought like, make my nan proud. Whenever I played football, that was always in the back of my mind. When I played sport, I always thought about my nan like, all right, let's go out there and do the best we can for my nan. When I get up for work, make my mum proud, do my things, chase my career, education, learn, be the best person you could be. And then now it's. And in my last Iron man, it's actually quite a popular post that people see in an Ironman, you get disqualified if you carry your children across the finish line. And people might not fathom this, but they can train and do all the work and. But nothing makes me prouder than to set an example for my children, you know, and in my last Iron man in Boston, well, in a couple of them, actually. The Iron man rule is you can't be helped and you can't carry your children across the finish line. That's a rule of Iron Man. You know how to do. And I tell the organizers every time I said, give me the dq, mate, because, you know, I'm carrying my kids across the finish line and it's the best photo I've ever got. Is, is that, that's what I do. I complete an Iron Man, I don't get an official time, I don't get an official ranking, I get disqualified after everyone because if I carry my kids through the line. But the reality is that's the, the moment I'm teaching my kids, like, I'll carry, I'll carry Them through anything. Through anything. And that, that is what drives me every day. You know, getting up for work, I want to get home. People like, oh, Ridge, why do you train at 2 to 3am? Why don't you train at 8am like every other Ironman or 6am like every other Ironman or every other cyclist on Beach Road here in Victoria? If I train at 6am, I don't get home till 2pm If I start training at 3am, I get home at 8am so my kids finish breakfast, which means I get home and I'm ready for them to the day and I don't miss the largest chunk of the day. It's got nothing to do with heroism. It's got nothing to do with I beat everyone up in the morning. It's got nothing to do with any of that. It just means I get home to my kids first. And that's, that's my goal every day. And then hopefully when the business is established and you know, you're in a financial position, you take a step back and you spend more time with your kids when, when you need to. But that's the backbone of it now, the backbone. So it always stemmed. First it was my man, then it was my mum, now it's my wife, now it's my kids. I just want to make them proud, you know, and can't emphasize that enough, take it away from you. And some people need to take a step back from that. Like, I don't give a shit about my goals. I don't give a shit what people think about me. I don't give a shit about my events. All I care about is how I can help others and that's inspiring them in some way through these events or through business or through education or just being a good father, you know, I love walking into my gym holding my kids. I love walking into my gym holding my wife's hand, you know, just, I just want to make them proud.

I love that man, that skin in the game and really just almost like a form of accountability, you know, especially with your inner circle, it's, you know, doing when, when you're doing for others. What I find Ritz, is because I did this a lot during my CrossFit times as well and competing and obviously in, in business and all the, all the hard days is like, hang on, how can I elevate myself out of my own mind and head and body to actually do this through and for other people that matter to me most? And I think, not that I have a quote per se, but what you're saying is something that I align with Ruth goes along the lines of something like, hey, if I can do everything I can possible to help and serve other people, who I become in that process and journey of life will already make me enough in my own eyes. And you see it everywhere, though, man. You know, you give everyone what they want, you'll get everything you ever want. And it's like, it's this, it's this balancing act or this, this sorry, this dichotomy of going, well, hey, you've got to invest in yourself because you are investing yourself to be 100. So you can give 100, but do it in a way that isn't selfish or destructive or narcissistic or, you know, crying for me or just what is what it is like if I don't, if I take away that, that ego says like, oh, it's just about me, then it's almost like you free yourself from the shackles because you're operating as a whole unit because you've got your nan flowing through, you've got your wife, your children flowing through you and it's, it's pretty epic, man. Why? Fuck, that's weird. Why, why did they disqualify you? Where did that come from? That's a, that's a strange rule, man.

Yeah, it's just, it's a nine man rule. It's more for safety issues that some of the athletes, when they come through, they grab their kids and they fall over. They might drop their kids or they might, you know, get in the way of another athlete that's running through and that's their moment to finish. So I always make sure I check that, I check the chute where everyone runs down, there's no one there. I grab my kids and there's no, no harm, no foul, but just for the Ironman themselves. Then some people will say, oh, what happens if every Ironman grabbed their kids? I said, mate, there's probably about 20 fathers out there at tops that have kids. At the finish line. I go, these guys are, you know, full time athletes. A lot of these guys don't have, you know, a, a country full of children around them. So, yeah, it's just, it's just a pretty silly Iron man rule. It went to a boat online and it was a unanimous 82 that said that it shouldn't be a disqualification rule. But unfortunately, mate, look, it is what it is, but it doesn't make too much of a difference. At the end of the day, you get your medal, you get your Photos and you walk away and you say those great experience, experience.

Oh, you did it, man. There's no denying or taking that away. But yeah, talk us through fatherhood, man. You've got a couple of young kids, wife. Talk us, talk us through, I guess, the, the changes, the ups, the downs, the, the journey, some of your, I guess, philosophies and, and, and that alignment as a family man and husband. Yeah, talk us through a little bit of that and what that's like for you.

Yeah, mate, I, I honestly have never been happier in life. And when I get with my kids and get to see them and play with them and any moment with them is just a really, really special moment. Throughout my day, throughout my week, sometimes I sneak home and I'm late home. I kind of sneak into my son's room and I don't mean to wake him up, but I just want to give him a cuddle and I just get him out of his cot and get him, give him a cuddle and put him back to bed just so I don't miss out on the whole day. I hate missing out the whole day. But then I always think to myself, I go, mate, there's people at war and they don't get to see their kids for months and months and months. So maybe a day is not too bad. But I'm truly blessed with two of the most beautiful boys you could ever see. They just so happy and so bubbly and, and they're also so privileged with the mother that they've got that takes care of them and loves them so much every day. It just, it just gives you another fire in the belly to just want to be better with everything I do and, and, and, you know, you can't spend enough time with them. And I, I always, when you, when, when I do hear new fathers or fathers had kids for a while, when I hear them say that they can't be bothered or they, you know, they get bored or, you know, I always find that it stems from themselves. First they start, they stop investing in themselves and then they, they stop investing their children nest. It's always say, I want to make sure that I've always got enough energy to match their energy, you know, every single day. So I train first, every single morning and, and then hopefully I can keep up with these two rugrats that are, that are growing up. So, and hopefully through my life lessons and how I'm, you know, how I hold myself, hopefully I can install some of those into them. As we know society is always forever changing and when we were growing up, we didn't have social media and we didn't have podcasts and we didn't have so much access to information. So I'm hoping that I can be a great role model for them, that they. The person that they come to is. Is me. When they want guidance, they come to me. And I know at some stage they're going to be old enough to go to school. And I hope that the influence I have on them is able to outweigh the influence of society into what they want them to be. And that's a big thing for me. You know, today's day, if you were to ask anyone, is it a lot softer than 50 years ago, the answer is yes. If you would say it was a lot softer than 100 years ago, the answer is yes. Do we have a lot of things that today's day that are present that weren't present, and mental health issues and anxiety and depression and substance abuse and gambling abuse and all these types of things. I hope that I can install and be a great representation and role model for these kids. That when I get old and they say, hey, you know what? My dad's my hero, you know, and that's. That's what I really want. I want them to look at me and go, hey, my dad is my friend. He's my hero. He's my dad. And that's something that I hope that I can carry with me every single day and not let that slip. Like you said, how do you sustain this energy and this outcome, this physicality for so long, everyone, the amount of times people have said to me that I'm going to burn out. The amount of times, mate, thousands. But yet still I'm here 20 years later in the same ministry 20 years later, doing the same thing 20 years later. And mate, if you said it was a candle, but going out a little bit, not. Not a chance. It's just gotten dried up, you know, And I hope for them that they can see that. That, you know, I'll be 40 soon, and I hope that when I'm 50 that I'm doing more. I hope that I'm doing more and more and more, you know, so. But that just give me energy, Honestly, they. They give me more. So I hope maybe there could be a third one on the way. Who knows?

Yeah, well, it's mate, three. Three is a phenomenal game changer, man. We did TV IVF for our first two. And not that Roman was unwanted either, but it's just a surprise, naturally. And the house Just felt full. It was phenomenal, man. I had two girls and the little man and you know, it's, it's, it's a valuable thing to know the leadership that we can impart onto our children when we're so much more invested in life as fathers. I look at all the things I'm doing now, man. I'm 10Xing the guy. I thought I was in my 20s as an elite athlete and doing this and running gyms and it's like, hang on a minute, like it because it just opened your eyes man. And you've got, you're so much more invested in life and it's just, yeah, it's just an absolute fuel where provided you be present with your family and children and give them what they need. In today's world, like I said, with so many outside influences, you can embed and plant these seeds that will grow big, very fucking strong oak trees where they'll be solid and carry on your family values and principles despite the influences of the social media. Other people, people who might not have the parents that you are. And it's always there. That's always a risk too. Always has been as well. It's just more accelerate and very fast in today's world with access like you're talking about. Couldn't agree more. That old Chinese proverb, what is it? The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is right now. And I think a lot of the men listening to this have older children. You haven't missed the boat plant today. Start building that connection today and building that relationship. We did a 21 day high performance challenge Ritz and one of them was connection. Right, so seven disciplines, 21 days, 147 victories. That's our mindset. 147 chances to lose, but 147 chances to win, very simple stuff. So roam which is like half an hour walk, move half an hour train, feed specific training blocks of protein, carbs, fats, very easy to follow, calm, so breath work, thinking of you. Post a note for the Mrs. Progress photo and connect. And all it is is five minutes of special time. We call it special time because it's fill your child's bucket of power and attention. Right. Obviously if you have teenagers it causes something else. But mate, the amount of feedback from these men saying the walk was fantastic. Just to clear my head. Mrs. Loved the poster notes. Yeah, I lost weight and I got healthy. But the experiences I created with my children second to none and that was awesome. Here are guys with Teenagers who are just on their Xboxes all the time now, it's just being present with them because it's hard too. As you start to get more kids, you're sort of always together. It's like, well, hang on, how can I have individual time with them and plug in. And that's what I do with my kids. We rotate. They get special time twice a week and then one day there's none because we're always together every day anyway. But we rotate and they get that. I give them 10 minutes but it's really good because it's short, easy. You can be present for 10 minutes and mate, the ROI is massive because that's all they want. And my little man Roman now loves training with me. I've got him a little Hulk Hogan toy, so he's very masculine and wrestling and that's fucking sick, man. And I could have done extra work and sure I could have had a little bit more money, but at cost, man, like you just creating these experiences for these children that just becomes a part of who they are because of what you're, what you're imparting. But do you. What tell us a little bit about the businessman. So like obviously you work with a large portion of people and I'd love to get a bit more insights into. Yeah, what, what you do with Hurt Locker in Richmond. Like I said, can't wait to get there in a few weeks. But then from there I guess segue into yeah, what you see, what are the challenges and problems you see for our audience that listens which is typically the middle aged men and fathers, like what are some of the challenges and problems that you've pick. Picked up over the years of working with so many.

Yeah. So obviously like a Richmond, we run large groups classes. Our only group training facility that has 50, 50 between men and female. Usually a lot of females go towards group training sessions. But with us we're very much a 50, 50 split. We've got a lot of males. Our demographic is usually around the age between 25 and 50 is the demographic we get that come through facility all walks of life. We generally find that we get a lot more high achievers that come into the room. Guys that we don't really need to beg to come to the gym. We don't really say to them, you know, come and do more, do more. It's more. They open the door, they're like, we want to do more, they want to do more. Now whether or not that's the law of attraction is saying, hey, I'm really attracted to this kind of work ethic that these kind of people walk through our doors. But that's generally if they're not that way inclined, they become that Wayne climb pretty quickly. They realize I could send out a message right now to 20 people and say, be here at 3:55 tomorrow, 4:00am start, no questions asked. They just, they're there. You would do that to a million other people and you would have sat on 355, be to the gym, Ridge needs you there, Donuts, you get absolute crickets. 355, not a chance. Anyone in here. If I said to I need you here at 355, the PR at 4, they'll be here, guaranteed, no questions asked. And I think the expectation of the people here is just work. They want to work harder, they want to be faster, they want to be more proactive, they want to show more initiative. And I think once you start to embed that into people, they start to be more creative. And that carries over with fathers as well. Fathers need to be more creative, create more initiatives, create more interactions, create more opportunities to be more interactive with their children. I tell them all the time there's so many things out there today where people will meet for run clubs and they're just trying to create more interactions, more communities. And I said, you took that same initiative and you did that with your family. Imagine how wholesome more the experiences you'll create with them creating opportunities like, you know, so in here I love hearing the stories of we get a lot of new fathers that come in here and the greatest thing that I love to see not change is they don't stop their memberships and they don't say, I've just had a son at times a bit, bit cramped at the moment. I can't make my own training. But I tell them up it. I've got fathers that are all fathers that are preparing to become fathers this year. They're preparing for their first marathon and they're already excited. Like that's, that's my goal. I want to. My daughter's going to be born in, in this date and then three weeks later I'm going to run a marathon and then I'm going to keep trying. I want to be the best role model I can be. It inspires them. That's what it should do. It should inspire them. It should inspire them to work, you know, and work harder than ever now. I always say to him, like my first son, Kobe, he was born during COVID He was born on, you know, the night Before. And then next day I was at work, you know, I had to go to work the next day, but I couldn't get to the hospital till 8am Anyways, son was born early hours in the morning, three hours later. What are you doing, Rick? I'm going to work. I just, I didn't let it sit for a minute. Not for a minute did I ever say, like, I'm going to slow down. I'm going to use my son as an excuse for me to give myself a leave pass. Stop training, Rids. Stop working as hard. Do this. I just said, just up the ante. Be better at what you do. If I have to pat my son on the back through the night, Patty's bum, allow him to get to sleep and then get straight to work, you do it. I try to emphasize that with every, every, every father that I come across, if I had one recommendation to them, one is probably don't take advice of anyone because you have to wing it anyway. Because every, every, every child is completely different. I say to, there's so many books and things out there for people to read. I know you got to bite down hard for eight weeks and just work your ass off the first time your son's born or your daughter's born. But I said, if I could give you one tip to anyone, I go, just never take your foot off the pedal. Like there's always something you can be doing and be better at, whether or not it's training, whether or not it's engaging with your socializing or relationships or with your kids. As soon as you give you, as soon as you take the foot off the pedal on one aspect of your life, watch the other ones just fall off as well. And I say to myself, when you do have a child and you've been training, now's the time to drop the pedal down and go for it. Full hammer and full tongue. Be the most energetic you've ever been. When are you the most energetic? As soon as you completed your workout, I tell everyone you sleep in. Oh, I didn't get much sleep last night. You sleep in, watch yourself. Feel like one month turns to two months, two months turns to three months, three months turns to six months, and next thing you know, that father's not that attractive anymore because he's put on 20 kilos, he feels like, and his confidence is out the door. And that's a real, you know, real grind to get back to where you need to be. So always try to try to separate. And we're quite fortunate we're so fortunate here that the people that walk through here, they, they, they literally take that same philosophy and that same attitude they've done with it. They emphasize it. They, you know, they, they give it back to me. You know, they make sure they keep me accountable. And I love that, you know? So, yeah, that's sort of the things we see through here. And, and like I said, mate, we, we, we're so, so, so fortunate to have those type of clientele because it. We just feed off it every single day.

Yeah, man, that environment's key, isn't it as well? Because like you said, even with your feats and achievements, you've never done them alone. You've done them in support with others. And even that feedback loop of accountability is undeniably a large part of everyone's success in life. What you're saying is so true. Around the foot, off the pedal. Because, fellas, those of you listening, you know, I've felt it, man. It's a real energy, especially in, like, footy matches, momentum. And that momentum, when you lose it, man, like you said, foot off the pedal. I want you guys to think of this like a carousel. And when that carousel stops over time and you're putting on weight, you lose confidence. Not as connected with the Mrs. Stress, with work, not giving the kids the time, it just starts to rust. And that's a really hard to get going again and get pushing. And it's like, good luck with that. You know, like it's. The chances are extremely slim, Ritz, for a lot of these men, as they enter the second half in life, to, to initiate and build that momentum again and get it going. But also what Ritz is saying, guys, is if you organize yourself accordingly, you can still be present with your kids. You know, like, there's always time. There's always an opportunity to keep investing in yourself, keep fucking work, keep pushing. The amount of fathers who I spoke to in the early years, when I had kids very young as well, or just born, that took six or eight weeks off work, they did fuck all. They helped around the house a little bit. The baby's just sleeping, man. And then they're just on their phone, on social media or doing nothing and what waste. You're losing, you're losing your confidence, you're losing runs on the board. And that's not time management, man, it's choice management. People say, I don't have time for this. Of course you don't, because you've allocated it elsewhere. Whereas these men, who are new fathers because of the standards, right? What you're talking about are standards and the environment that influences them to go, hey, I've just had a kid. More than ever, I need to make sure I crush this, this marathon. Why? Because I'm setting the stand and the example, and it definitely does carry over. But my kids look at. Not. Not that I encourage this, but they look at every man or someone that we walk past or drive past are like, daddy's bigger than. Stronger than him. Daddy's stronger. And I laugh like, well, you don't know that. Maybe existence. Point is, they see me train, they see me suffer. I've got a great home gym here. They see me, yeah, suffering, training, obviously, lifting heavy weights, doing gymnastics, lots of other things. And it's like it becomes imprinted in their mind. This is just a standard. And. And dad. And obviously, I throw them really high in the air and I've got good energy, and they're just like, I'm like the fucking king in their eyes, man. And that's something that just carries through to Roman, seeing the standards as a man, as a father, as a husband to his wife. My daughter's seeing the man to look for as a husband, father, and. And. And man to be their husband. And, you know, and it's.

It's just.

It's incredible, mate. Like, if. If you don't feel like doing it for your fucking self, do it through the eyes of what they're seeing and how you operate as a high performer day in and day out across the board. That's invaluable, man. Like, I just don't get, like, money, women, all these other things that become these distractions or they're not. They're not flexes ridz.

It's.

It's legacy, man. It's the impact that we leave now. People don't have to agree with that. That's okay. This is definitely not the podcast for you. If you listen to 200 plus episodes and obviously the energy that Ritz is putting out today, fuck, mate, that's what it's about. Like, you've broken what sounds like a generational chain, man, of some suffering with your father doing what he believes probably to be the best he could from trauma, maybe from his father and his father and his father going through. Obviously, we're looking at wars now and back into the 1800s. And it's so credit to you, man, for landscaping where the tree is. So the apple fell and rolled further away. It's not something. Because I've had a lot of conversations over the years that happens too often. What would be. I guess I've really enjoyed this chat, man. It's been epic to have you on today, and I know you've given some pretty sound advice. But as we wrap this up, man, what would be one key piece of advice for a father listening out there who, like, he's. He's in a rut or he's struggling, or his priorities might be a bit out of order, out of whack. Maybe he needs realignment. I don't know. Like, what would be any key takeaway piece of advice, man? Or food for thought. You. You want to finish with today?

Yeah. I'm a massive believer in the law of attraction, and I'm a massive believer with who you surround yourself with. You're going to become, you know, so if you surround yourself, they always say that, that quote, you know, if you're in the room with nine millionaires, you'll become a 10. If you're in a room with nine marathon runners, you'll become the 10th. If you're in the room with. With nine fit, aspiring dad, you'll probably be. Be the 10th. And at some point in time, you just got to stand in that room and know you belong in that room, right? And. And you've got to want to belong in that room. So when I'm talking to my. A lot of my friends, a lot of my friends that I. That I've been mates with ever since I was. From 6 years of age all the way through my life, all married, they're some of the high school sweethearts, and we've all kept each other accountable. They've never deteriorated from that road. They've never, they've never gone off that beaten path. They've always stayed honest, stayed humbled, you know, and wanted to be present in every single moment. And that's purely because everyone does it. Everyone does it. They all keep this high standard. There's paramedics, there's firefighters, there's business owners, there's, you know, people that are very, very successful in their work, but they're amazing fathers and they're amazing partners. And I said, everyone keeps each other accountable. As soon as one person dares put their foot out of line, like, hey, that's not how we act. That's not what we do. And they correct it. And I always say to everyone, if you want to make a change, if you want to be better than what you're currently situated in, stand next to someone better that you aspire to be. Like, I would never, ever take advice or a comment from anyone in life that I didn't aspire to be like so many people. Like, when you're in the fitness world, you're in the, you're in the business world, People always taking stabs at you and, and, you know, he dresses this way, looks that way, you know, X, Y, Z. I don't give a shit what anyone says, but I don't aspire to be like them in some form of aspect. And I'd never take their advice seriously. I always want to be in a room where people are challenging me to be better. So my one bit of advice to people that are out there that are looking to change a situation or improve a situation is go and talk to someone that's in that situation that you want to be in. Ask them how they got there, talk to them about what they did. One of the biggest things and one of the biggest learning lessons I ever did was I've always in the fitness industry, this is for me, I always said there's three types of fitness people, right? There's, there's the people that do the. Dude, they do the thing, right? They are fit and you know them as being fit, but they've got no knowledge behind it, right? So everyone be like the physios, like, oh yeah, they're a fit athlete, but they're not smart. So I became a teacher and I educated myself and then I taught exercise science and then I taught strength and conditioning and then I taught that. So I'm like, right, Brad, you do the thing. So you practice what you preach. You now know all the muscles in the body. You know the human anatomy, you know the injuries, you know the illnesses, you know the nutrition, you know what you do. And then I'm like, then there's the social media influences. The people that market themselves, they're very, very good at it. They're not fit, they're not healthy. They just post a whole heap of photos and they're very, very good at marketing themselves. They're very, very business savvy. They're not, they're not, they're not smart in kinesology or biomechanics or exercise. So I said, but, but they, they look that way. The perception is they are very, very fit. And you know these people, they're very, very good on social media, so forth. So I said, rich, you've got to have an element of everything so I can connect with everyone, right? Constantly trying to upskill myself. Talking to people that are really, really good on social media, talking to people that are really, really good on biomechanics. And human physiology. And then no matter what, I always go back to my roots and always practice what I preach, you know, so no matter what I'm doing, I always want to be in the room with someone who's challenged me in all three aspects. That's in my industry. So whatever industry that they're in, they might be challenging himself. But I look at that with all facets of life. This is just my business life. I try to improve myself all the time, but I idolize a lot of people that are, you know, fathers that I aspire to be like. But I suppose the biggest lesson I've got was, remember, I always know what I don't want to be like. I got taught that so early on in life. Right. So don't be that then. Always strive to be like other people that I aspire to be like. You know, so that's my tip. You do, if you, if you aspire to be something different, be in the room with people that are different.

Yeah, sound words, man, sound words. I wrote a couple of notes here and it's like, yeah, find that winner's circle that you're aligned with. And you know, the, the more you grow, I'm not sure if you've experienced the same Ritz, but I feel like the more that you grow and I've seen this actually, it's not just a feeling. The more that you grow, it seems to be less. People actually want you to win rather than want you to lose. And, and I think it's the reason why they want you to lose is because it justifies the risks they didn't take to improve their own situation and grow and become more. Because you are growing or dying. This is a part of life. And I don't think the game ever ends, man. You know, like, I look at this now, I caught up with and I'll get him on for a podcast. He's 74 now. Steve Cotton, man, 74 bricks for abs. He's got lambos, he's got everything. Phenomenal businessman, great family man. Great grand. He's a phenomenal grandfather. Just a high performance father before the term was probably coined. And think and grow rich. Napoleon Hill, all that stuff like back in the 40s and 50s. And brought up with him today and we had a chat and mate, it's. It never ends. He's like, mate, I'm looking at. I'm four years into my 10 year block of creating even more impact between 70 and 80. Like, fuck, yeah, like what, what other way to. And the time the Range and the timing to do gets less and less and less. It's almost like as you get older, years get more and more important too because it is a gift that is valuable. But, but I hear what you're saying, man, I agree. You know, be around those who have what you want or are doing what you want to do. And when you have that alignment in a genuine fashion, you're pretty hard to lose because you'll not, not, not fold in line or you know, or join the fold or fall in line. But more so it's like, no, it's up sparring and inspiring and uplifting because it cuts away some of the. Just the subtle self sabotaging that can creep in that says, maybe this is okay, I can settle here. Or maybe I'm enough. Or maybe you are enough, but enough to become more.

At my last Iron man, it was amazing. One of the best things I've ever seen. I like to sit at the finish line, just watch the people come through and you kind of imagine what their stories are like and people there, they're fought cancer, they're overweight. But then at Buso, when I was there in December, guy came through, completed The Ironman. He's 84 years of age. Not just that, his son complete the Iron man who was 55. And I said, I was like, that's what I'm chasing. I'm chasing. I want that record. He's the oldest man ever to complete the iron man is 84. I said, I want to do it when I'm 85. Just, it's okay to praise other people for being heroes and just take a back seat for a second. Doesn't matter who you are, you'll be the richest. The richest, the fittest, the fittest, the best, the best. No matter who you are, just take a moment to sit back and inspire someone else and go, that's what I'm chasing. 85. That's what I'm coming for now. I can't wait. That's, that's, that's on my list.

That's special, man. It reminds me of a billionaire. I remember him saying, success to me is when your children want to be around you when they're adults. This is a billionaire. Obviously he's done some work, but what's important to him is, yeah, 55 year old. And you look at that and you're like, what? What had to be true for the 55 year old to follow the footsteps of his old band and be like, of course I'm going to continue the Standards. That's the secret. That's the gift. And. And I don't think it's something that can be sold alone, Ritz. I think it's something that requires your. Your inner circle and people around you who are shooting for the same. I truly do. But awesome, man. Great to catch up with you, mate. I really appreciate you jumping on. On the show, man.

Anytime. I appreciate it. Keep doing what you're doing, mate. You're doing amazing things. Love hearing the stories. I appreciate when the guys walk in the room last time. I can't wait for them to do it again in March and hopefully they get to get to take something away from me as well.

Yeah, I'll join the trading session this time, mate. I'm not. I'm in better health, so. Looking forward. Looking forward to the suffering. It was epic last time, man. It was so good with you and Tim running the show is. Yeah, pretty excited, mate. The boys are already pumped. Really looking forward to it and I hope you guys got a lot of value out of this show as well. Hopefully we'll do more in the future too, Ritz. But yeah, mate, can't wait to catch up in a few weeks in person too. And. And what a. Yeah, what an epic way to. To. To finish the month and get ready for another big month to. To close out Q1. It just goes so fast, doesn't it, man? Two months already gone of the year.

Flies. Flies. Absolutely. Big things to come.

Unreal. Thanks, brother. I hope you guys appreciate. Appreciate Ritz's efforts too. It's phenomenal. Nothing short of that. And look forward to seeing you in March, man. Guys, cheers.

Cheers.

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