241. High Performance Steve

If this is something that you're really starting to resonate with and you've racked up five, 10, 15, maybe 20 podcasts by now, I just want to ask a small favor of you. The greatest way that we create the greatest impact inside of this world is by reaching more people and more people really tying into the value they can offer themselves at a fundamental level. HPF stands for fathers really valuing and believing in themselves and investing in themselves so that they and their family wins. A couple of quick things. I hope you enjoy the episode ahead. It's a phenomenal one that we've just recorded for you, but essentially I'd love for you to give us a review. Obviously a five star review would be amazing, but whether it's itunes, Spotify, Amazon, it could be on Facebook, a Facebook review anywhere, Google, anywhere where you see this value in you giving us the approval and recognition that will spread this message. Much respect. Really appreciate you for doing that and also sharing this with someone who you know would get a huge benefits out of listening to this as well. So enjoy the episode ahead. But if there's just one thing I could ask for 10 to 30 seconds of your life to give back. I love doing these episodes. I do these for you, member or not, and for the wider community. I'd love it if you could just give a little bit back and really promote that you support this and this is something that you would love to share with others who you know would get value out of this as well. Welcome to an episode where we've actually got the number one Steve Smith in the country. Much better run rate in life in general than the Steve Smith that did whatever the he did, which led to him being banned for a period of time. But no, look, one of the HPF tribesman. Steve, great to have you here with us today, man.

Absolute pleasure to be here, Alex, and honored that you invited me on.

Yeah, I'm sorry for insulting you, mate, by sharing that you have the same name as the. The ex Australian captain or is he Australian captain again? I can't remember. I can't keep up.

I don't believe he was qualified enough to continue on.

That's right. So now the reason why I say apologies for the insult is, mate, we got to connect in how good we're just on that. Like how awesome was the. How did you find the tribe catch up we did in Victoria? That was a fucking epic event, man. Pretty powerful.

Hey, Alex, for me, the tribe catch up is an absolute game changer because you, you get to, you know, Shake the man's hand, the men's hands that you have connected with along your journey inside the tribe. Obviously being online here where we see each other's faces, but to shake a man's hand and you know, have a feed together and get him into a training session, it was so powerful.

And I even remember like the conversations you and me were having where we did a party pump before we went out for dinner the night before, which was great and not before the event on Sunday morning. And it just, just being in the presence, like even. And I must, I need to say this, man, I'm not blowing smoke up your ass, but just the way you conducted yourself. What we're talking about, what we're discussing, mate, you've, you've got a good build, you've worked on yourself, you've signed for a second seat in the hpf. And I'm like, I'm like, fuck, yeah. Cause you know what, Steve, as funny as it sounds and for guys listening, even though this is online and I'm heavily connected to all you and hundreds of men on the inside of hpf, I am quite isolated in my life. I'm very selective of who I allow into my circle. And yeah, you could say this is business and transaction, exchange of money for serve. But, but all that shit aside, like, this is life. We're creating experiences and we're always providing value and service to each other. But outside of hpf, and it's no disrespect to anyone else that I grew up with, I've got a handful of schoolmates, I've obviously got brothers. But fuck, man, like, it lifts me up just being in that. Because I got to tell you, and I say this again with respect every time that we do our catch ups, I've got South Australia in a few weeks, which is going to be awesome when we do these events and they're so epic. I really love them. But as silly as this sounds, every time we have these catch ups with Queensland, Brisbane, Gold Coast, Victoria, Sydney, and it always seems to be a fucking inconvenience to me. Again, it seems weird, but it's like, yeah, because we're, yeah, obviously home, three kids, the misses. There's, there's always something. I get, you know, I get an infection, chest infection or something which I just recovered from, from the kids. So I, I don't say that. Obviously I love it, otherwise I wouldn't go. But it's always like, fuck, man. Like, is it this weekend? Oh shit, it is. It has to be this weekend. But Then, man, it's just a whole new world and experience when you're like, yeah, Kate, fuck off all the other shit. We're getting together, men together. Strong, powerful men in each other's company. And how crazy was it, right? Like Naz, he's a guy who got kicked out, got his family back on track. He's one of our podcasts, reconnected with Rose, two beautiful daughters. And it was at the Victoria Catch up that he made the announcement that his wife's pregnant with another child. Like, man, that gave me fucking goosebumps. Like, you got this.

I'd say that you weren't the only bloke in there. Obviously everybody got goosebumps, but the, the love that was shared amongst the men, the goosebumps was one thing, but obviously the tribe just erupted and Jesus nearly wasn't a driver in the house because he has been such a figure with inside the tribe. He shares some really hard, hard things along the way, but some amazing wins. So, yeah, really massive win to get back with his. With his wife and then, you know, grow their family. How awesome.

Yeah, unreal. Shop done down the end of the paddock ready to, ready to read it all and like you said, back together and then expanding on the family. That's the power that the men have in creating and leading. And we're here for you today though, man. I just love the energy that you've brought. You've actually stepped up another level in, in my eyes as of late, in, in how you're operating what you' going back before that. Steve, I actually, as much as guys enjoy my individual power rants personally and selfishly, I get a lot more value out of connecting with men like you and doing these sorts of podcasts. So thank you for the opportunity, man, and choosing us to be the vehicle and mate. I'd love for you to share, you know, maybe not what your journey's been like straight away, but more so, yeah, give us a bit of a background and insight into who Steve Smith is and then I guess, yes, what led to you being a high level tribesman in hpf? The results and the journey.

Yeah. Alex, once again, thanks for having me on. So I'm one of eight children number two. So as you can imagine, that's come from, yeah, a pretty busy household growing up, so being number two, there was always somebody else that you had to sort of take care of along the way. So looking out for myself was. Was one thing, but also looking out for my siblings and, and, you know, probably sacrificing some of some of the things that you, you'd normally get as a smaller family, I suppose. But look, dad was a self employed hard worker and simply just showed to me hard work ethic and yeah he was always, always at work whether it was school holidays or weekends. He was just a, just a worker. As you can imagine back in the 80s you have to be working pretty hard to put food on the table for eight kids.

Yeah, that's big man. Look, I'm one of four and I yeah, that was a pretty crazy household and you would have had a huge amount of responsibility mate with, with six under you and what, what was it I guess what was it like with like. And it's not to be, to be rude to the old man either but obviously he was off working but what was the dynamic like was a lot of the, was a lot of it on you and then you were number one to help with the others and what, what was the relationship like? I guess curious man as well with. Because I do, I do know you mentioned off air like there were some hardships and challenges. What was it like with the old man?

Look, great relationship with the old man. Probably growing up because you know I just, I just looked at him and going well jeez, he's a hard worker and you know, you, you want to be like the old man because that's what you know, growing up. I suppose so. Yeah. Really good relationship growing up. Probably as I've gotten older it's probably been a little bit harder I suppose more than anything because I think that he burnt himself out. Woke him, you know, six, seven days a week and all the time. So family holidays weren't really existent when I was growing up because dad would be at work. You know, we had, we were lucky enough to have. My grandfather had a, had a shack down at down on the coast. So that was our school holidays. But there wouldn't, there wouldn't be too many times that dad would be able to even make it down there for a weekend because he was just working and providing Tough, tough time there. As far as the load on me with my siblings. Yeah, you, you, you are always looking out for them and doing stuff to help out there, I suppose. Yeah. I, I would also say that for me it was probably a tough time because. Because it was such a busy household. I really struggled myself with learning and probably didn't get the attention that I needed along the journey with that. So that was probably the biggest thing that was hard to deal with I suppose but. And that's even led into Adult life challenges with reading and writing. Yeah, that's been a big thing to battle with my whole life really, Alex.

Yet here you are, an established, successful businessman who also has the awareness and intelligence to look at growth, what that can entail, the right environment, being part of hpf, leading in hpf. It's credit to you, Steve, that's. That's fucking massive, man. Like, I, I was, I was the golden child because I was number three of four that my mum loves because number four come along nine years later. So I was the baby, which my brothers didn't like. They. They wiled on me pretty hard for it. But, but, but, but also, yeah, man, there's plenty of times where I felt quite alone and isolated. AKA hence resorting to food, getting fat as. And just being really, really not liking who I was because I didn't feel valued because everyone was all too busy and there was no time for our. Seems like such a, such a victim type sob story. But you're kids, right? So I could imagine, man, doubling that number eight. Jesus. You know, like, but fast forward, like really fast forwarding. Now you're a father yourself. What, what were some perspectives looking back now or things around, I guess what's your thoughts on the family nucleus and fatherhood and the role he should play in being present and leading the family? Like, what's, what is, I guess compared to like when you're growing up, what do you see now that you're a father yourself and a man in the world?

Yeah, Alex, there's so many elements to it. So first of all, pre hpf, my biggest thing was probably getting stuck heavily into service and thinking that was my lot, probably because of what I've seen from my father. So going to work, working hard, providing financially. So I pretty honestly did bury myself into that when I became a father myself. And that also led into renovating our house and making sure that we had a good home. And that was probably to my detriment that I buried myself so heavily into the service side of things and providing financially and providing a nice home. So first of all, I would say that that's important as a, as a man to provide and protect. And then secondly to that, I think that we need to emotionally look after our children and our partner, wife, partner, however you want to put. So for me, you know, there's obviously the fun stuff that you have with the kids, but. But leading them emotionally, it's been really important for me.

Yeah. Yeah, agreed, man. Do you find that something the old guard didn't quite have and or missed potentially because it was not as necessary, maybe because of all of the different influences now with social media trying to manipulate and distort those emotionally susceptible women and children and us, of course. But yeah, do you feel like that's a skill or now a cornerstone of fatherhood, having that emotional awareness and intelligence to read the room, be once step ahead of them?

Like yeah, what are your percent, 100% cornerstone. And, and I would say I would go back to my parents situation is they only knew what they knew because they were a product of their environment pre, you know, them growing. So I think what you alluded to is, is looking into growth. If you don't actually go and look to better yourself, you're gonna be stuck in the pattern of the previous generation. So yeah, definitely a cornerstone in my day to day life now is, you know, growing and leading in so many areas that I probably wasn't exposed to growing up.

Yes. What were some of the challenges, man, like pre HPF that I guess led to you reaching out Steve? Like what were some of the things you're struggling with? Sound like you were going bo balls deep in a service, pushing hard, trying to provide for the family. What were, what were some of the issues or maybe out of balance, I don't know, like out of balance or what was. What were the challenges?

Yes, definitely out of balance with my relationship with Laura, my partner. You know, I thought I was doing the right thing by working hard and providing financially, but I wasn't being home when she needed to be. Needed to be, needed me to be. Sorry. So I do travel a fair bit for work in my role and but you know, I was making excuses that I needed to stay late to catch up with a customer or, or potentially even have. Have a beer or something with, with a client or even a colleague where I didn't need to do that. And that, that for me sort of led to me joining HPF because you know, I was, I was burying myself in that stuff then and I didn't realize how much it was impacting Laura. And yeah, so yeah, that's what, that's what really got me here is that, that yeah, I was burying myself just into one, one particular area and not looking after the whole package.

Hard, isn't it though? Like good intentions, man, looking to provide for the family and we just find ourselves in this position where we get that feedback loop that what we're doing as, as insane as it sounds in our eyes wasn't and isn't enough. Like, hang on a minute, I'm fucking hooking in and doing everything. But it's interpreted differently, isn't it, mate? And.

Yeah, definitely. And I guess the hard thing is, is because, you know, on one hand they say that they don't care about the money, but it is a very important part of what. Part of what we, you know, what we need, you know, to put food on the table, to put a roof over everyone's head. And yeah, it's, it's a challenging one, isn't it, mate?

Yeah, I know. My wife's a prime example as well. I don't care about the money, but I'm happy to spend it. It's like, yeah, you want to just live in a shack, you know, and you want to do that? No, no, I like, I like the nice things. But I, I'll tell you what, when we. On that note, I'll tell you what nice things are to me, Steve. Beautiful big cuts of grass fed meat, mate. I'm a very simple man. I, you know, I like brother.

Amen.

Oh, it'd be awesome. I mean having a HPF branded helicopter one day or some shit would be pretty cool. But I'd be only to be fly to the events, mate, so I can get there easily, that's all.

Get it quicker. Quicker.

Yeah, I'm flexing a helicopter when you're in the air and no one can read the wording hpf. No, but look, it's.

I thought you're gonna have a tribe, you're gonna have a ranch then, mate, you can just get everyone there, you don't have to go anywhere.

True, very true. Yes, the ranch. The ranch is coming, man. It certainly is. The HPF ranch. Used to call it the RDM ranch before we evolved and upgraded. Mate, it'll be phenomenal. It's. I can see it all now. And ironically enough, it's not about the comforts of that. That'll come with its own headaches, without a doubt. But it's all service, man. How can I provide an even greater experience to get fathers and or fathers and their kids and or fathers and their families off the grid. Reconnecting, re establishing a new baseline family self and service reorganize themselves physically, chemically, emotionally, obviously, mentally. And here I am right now talking so I can see how easy it is to just dive straight in and go hard with service, right? Because there's such a thing where we're like, hey, we know we do this input, we get that output. Whereas families such a. An ambiguous landscape to navigate because like, how do I know I'M winning or not, what is that? And we can and we do in hpf, create tangible measures of feelings, emotions, connection, blah, blah, blah. But it's a. They're all still sort of lag measures right after the facts. And it's like, well, what, What. How do we navigate that work? So much more binary, where we can just go, yep, boom, this is going to give me an outcome. And what are your thoughts on this, man? Like, that's what I wanted to chat to you about. Not only just generational fatherhood, but you can't. Like, there are so many men out there that will probably resonate with you, Steve, on some sort of chip on your shoulder. You must have had that. I've got to prove myself. I'm one of eight. Like, I know I have that in me. It's almost like this. Well, you. I'll prove it to you. And that's a. It's a beautiful and a dangerous thing, man, because we channel that into work and proving people wrong or proving our fathers wrong, or I'll show you. Or don't put that ceiling on me. Or. Yeah, what are your thoughts around, like, I guess some of the things that lead to us burying ourselves in our work as men in today's world.

Yeah, Alex, good. Very good question, mate. Because, mate, I did have a chip on my shoulder. My old man said to me the day that I started work that he could see myself being a leading hand one day, and that's potentially all. And I had this attitude of, fuck you. It really fucking hurt me on so many levels and it really held me back that I really struggled with accepting what I had done was good enough or ever will be good enough. So, yeah, carrying that chip around is fucking hard. I look at it on two levels now after the work that I've done inside of hpf, that it was a good thing and a bad thing, because what if he hadn't said that to me? Would I be successful in my career? What if he didn't say it to me? So I now look at it to say, well, it drove me to be the person I am today and. And successful in certain areas, but then it's held me back in other areas. So I think our responsibility as a father is to. To pave a way for our children, especially our sons, as being the male role model and make it so that they can go further than us. I really think that that's our role as a father to mate, I've got through the reeds. Here's my machete. Keep going. You can forge your own path as well. So, yeah, it's a solid one.

Yeah, it's a great way to put it, man. And, you know, I really agree, Steve, because it's. It's. Here's the thing, right? It's like that old story with the father had two boys, and the father was a raging alcoholic. And they followed the journey of the boys when they grew up, and one became a raging alcoholic, the other became a very successful businessman. And they said to the very successful businessman, well, how did your life become the way that it was? And he said, I saw my father growing up. And they said to the raging alcoholic, well, how did you become the way that you are? And he said, I saw my father growing up, you know, and it's like one becomes that. The other one combats that and does the opposite. However, if what I'm hearing you say aligns with what my belief is as well, that alone isn't enough. We can't just have the chip to say, fuck you, I'll prove you wrong, or I'll do this, or I'm going to do that. It's not even doing the opposite of your fuck. There's like, how can I. How can I beat you? And it's like the fear of failure as well as the love for greatness. And I think that's why. Well, I know from the data, but my perspective before men join HPF is that's why men do reach out to hpf. Because, like, hey, whether my father's been great or not, whether he's showing me what to do or not to do, there's. There's reached a point where I need to sharpen the machete because I'm not cutting through as many weeds as I want to, and I want to fucking at least get in the clear before the next forest or bush for my future generation. Because you're right, man. If we can lead the way through example, here's what to do, here's what not to do. What I've learned through my experience, what my father and grandfather taught then, Fuck, mate. Like that old saying, they're standing on the shoulders of giants. Our children can reach higher, see further, explore more, and build. And I don't know, it's quite weird. Like, I'm not sure I'm curious on what your. What defines a life well lived in your eyes, Steve? Because for me, like, fuck, man, no one's gonna remember my name in probably even a hundred years, let alone three, four, five, six, probably 50 years. Like, all the people who knew Me will be dead within a hundred years, right. If I live to be very old and there's newborns that learn who I am, so. Or, you know, my great great grandchildren. So it's like, well, fuck, mate, what, what impact can we have that makes it worth the grit now? Makes it worth the grind now? I think it's weird because, like, that vision, even though we work with what's in front of us is that vision of what we do in front of us can provide in the shade of the tree from the sea we've planted, that we will never experience or enjoy.

Yeah. I think for me, my daughter, rupees five, my son Max is three. You know, being an old man and they want to spend time with you, I think that's, that's, that's the first thing that ticks my boss. Like, you know, being, being. Being the leader that you need to be to them. But as they get older, I suppose, you know, the relationship between you and your, your folks, you become more friends. And I, I would hope that my kids just want to spend time, quality time with me so that, that we're, you know, forging that path forward together and giving them the best opportunities in life, in family, self and service, because, you know, it doesn't want to be, you know, too much of this and not enough of that. I think for me, a life full of success is, is really comes down to the relationship with your, with your family. That's the most important thing for me.

Agreed, man. Children want to be around you when they're, when they're older. It's. It's so true. And I remember my old man telling me that a lot. He's like, the only thing you'll have in this world is your family. And the older I get, man, the more I realize how important that is. And it's not even as important as they are extended family. It's not even that. It's like it's the people under the same roof because they won't be under that same roof forever. So what can I build with these people? With my children, with my sons or daughters? And you know, when you were mentioning that, the very first word that came to my mind was twinkle. Like, my children look up to me and not Twinkie. The little fat boy coming out. No more fucking Twinkies. I've had enough of those. My, my children, man, they. They look like Hulk Hogan. He was fucking massive, by the way, too. 6 foot 8, 137 kilos, obviously, on the gear. But it takes a lot of Work. Still jacked. Flipping the Giant. Andre the giant, who's 500 pounds, because Roman and I watch that. So I've got Roman in wrestling. Obviously. There's only two fucking genders. And I never want him to have purple hair and all this sort of shit, right? Because that's just fucking ridicul. If you're a guy.

I'm bored with that, mate.

If you're. If you're. If you're listening to this podcast and you've got pronouns on a LinkedIn profile, you need to stop listening. We're not. We're not a fan. Please.

You're on the wrong. You're. You're on the wrong podcast.

Yeah. If you're a they. Them listening to this podcast, we. I can't help you. Oh, so, man. But the funniest part is energy. Two daughters. So we had heaps of princess and girly in the house when Roman was born. We didn't. We didn't know what to. Obviously we know what boy's like. I'm a boy and grew up as a boy. Sorry, not am. Hope. I'm a man now. But I grew up right, So I loved all that. But we didn't just bring a baby home that can't even open its eyes and buy monster trucks, mate. He's such a dude. He loves wrestling. I don't even have footies in the house. I don't want him to play rugby league. I can turn him into a weapon. Mate. He will kill it in rugby league because of my background with health and fitness and my experience and whatnot. And he's trying to tackle me and wrestle me. Just. Just mate. DNA, genetically, it's wired in him. So anyway, I showed him a bit of wrestling. He's fucking hooked, man. And not wrestling wrestling like proper wrestling back in the 80s and 90s. So sorry. What I mean by that is obviously all of its stage. But like when it was really awesome. Not just. Just like it was fucking cool to watch. Not just big freak shows. It was awesome, man. So he loves the Hulk and he's this dude. 6 foot 837 kilos. My kids are like, ah, Daddy will fucking. Daddy will crush him. He could. They think I can lift cars. They. All this sort of stuff. And they love wrestling. Even my daughters watch it and they laugh like the old school stuff in the 90s. Point is, that twinkle in their eye, man, they look up to me so much.

I'm like, fuck.

I never want to lose that, Steve. I never want to lose that with my kids and Full transparency. Not sure how much of this stuff my old man listens to, but I lost that twinkle in my eye for him for a long time. It was really tough to see. And he was bang on middle age or probably like 40, 47, 48. Some challenging times with work, with conditions and locations and him and mum moved and just a few different plays with health. Had to have replacements with joints. Other things just chipped away at him. And here's a man who built our house with his bare hands. Very strong, powerful, old headed Italian father. And, and, and from like 48 to 65. I'm not going to say he lost me, but it's just really tough. And it's not that I didn't respect my old man anymore. It was just a case of PA like, what are you doing? Like, you're the big dog. What's going on, man? And, and then from 65 to nearly 69 now, he just fucking flicked the switch, hooked in, became a GM of a company, then became a part owner and had just gone and bought a fucking multimillion dollar home.

Like.

And they don't give out, like, they don't give out loans to people who are nearly 70. Bang, multimillion dollar with home, with mum living up on the go because like, fuck yeah, what a fucking weapon. Always had it in him. 17 years though, he'll never get back. And then, yeah, of course I didn't call him as much as I probably should have or could have or. And it's not again to be disrespectful of that. I just. You're attracted to energy that you want to become and forge into. Right? It's why you guys are here listening this podcast is why we have. It's like, yeah, I want to be part of that. And that was hard for me. Steve, I'm not sure if you have any thoughts on that and the challenges with life, but yeah, you're right. Your children want to be. And now, yeah, I want to be around dad, you know, more really do.

Alex. I was about to say the same thing. Energy. I really struggle reaching out to my family, my parents now because it was going back to what I was saying before. I think that life's beaten them up and they haven't done anything about it. So I do really struggle in, in that space. It's doesn't make me feel good to go to see them at their house. So you don't, you don't reach out for that. The energy that I feel with inside this tribe is phenomenal. I haven't felt it anywhere else before. And it's been life changing for me. And all I would say is that I hope that one day the old man especially can, you know, find his way from being so downtrodden what's happened in life and probably be the par that he should be. That's a tough one, I suppose, but I can't want it for him. He has to want it for himself.

It's hard when we see those that we hold in high regard and Rivera's strong and powerful, lose that fire. It really is, Steve. And again, like, I'm blessed, and I'm thankful to those around me who've done right or wrong by me, family and friends. Even lessons my old man taught me. Hey, Al. Like, this is what he inadvertently said to me, indirectly, I guess, through what I saw, hey, when you hit 48, don't ever fucking stop, like I did for 17 years, because you won't get them back. So I'm blessed, and I thank dad for that lesson. The hard part is, and I'm all about grit and grind, and nothing that isn't worth doing is worth the reward. So that's why six packs are hard and healthy. Relationship, family, self, and services. Like, all the things that are hard are worth doing. Right, is my point. But there are some lessons where it's like, there isn't. Not even the pain and suffering, Steve, but there isn't the time that's wasted that needs to be wasted with some of these lessons, you know, and that's the hard part. Like, yeah, I'm all for learning and learn from mistakes, learn from other people's mistakes and blah, blah, blah. But it's like, man, some of these lessons, the time that's spent is. Is not necessary. And I get it. It's hard. It's like, people say to me, you know, I lost my entire 20s to elite sport, my body, my marriage, everything, man, and. And obviously got it back with crit. And I look after myself as much as I can with my body. But people like, oh, yeah, but you wouldn't be who you are today if you. If you didn't do all that stuff with free. I'm like, yeah, but really, like, really would I been keep banging my head against the wall, breaking my jaw, doing my knee again and again and again, popping my shot. Like, I was already driven. I was already hungry to win. Like. Like, when's enough? When is enough enough? Like, did I really need to go through all of that? Like, there. It's a point, man, where, realistically, after I broke my straw. I should have just fucking packed it in. I already had the. I already wondered, Steve. I went from nothing to first grade in 18 months. Like that's unheard of. I'd already proven I like, like what you're sharing with, with the old man and, and ceilings and chips on shoulders and so what did I do? I spent another six years. But you know, such is the journey, right. It's pretty crazy. How, how have you found, like, I'm curious man, like what's hey for what's changed for you? How have you found the journey? I'd love to get some reflections on because obviously we have a huge amount of listeners that aren't on the inside. And it's all well and good to see me as the promoter or whatever you want to call it, but I can live in the breath this every day. But I love getting the men's interpretations and perspectives on their journey.

Yeah, look, the journey's been amazing and obviously like anything in life, ups and downs, hooking in for periods of time and then going missing a little bit. I suppose we, we can all do that along, along the way. So probably early bells are hooked in fairly hard. I went missing for a little bit there, but I think the biggest thing for me that has been an absolute game changer is rolling into year two. The 21 day challenges that you've put on really instilled some disciplines, some strong disciplines. So we're currently on a week off, but rolling into phase 2.3 next week. And for me that's been an absolute game changer because what I've really learned is this, you do have to be a prepared but also you've got to grip through some of the tough days when you're trying to get everything in. That's part of the protocols. But what I've found is that the self love that is created along the way by just making it happen and some of those days it's pretty bloody hard to squeeze all that in when you've got your service to work to do and your family. And then obviously, you know, in this case, I believe that the 21 day challenge protocols come under sell because you, you're building love for yourself. And that's been a real game changer for me. And you know, because of that I, I feel really good physically mentally strong and starting to get some reasonable shape in certain areas on the body, which I'm happy with as well. So. So for me, the last sort of four months has been, been the best thing so far. Yeah, just Love the discipline factor and yeah, that just resonates with me now.

Yes. Who's your coach as well? Is it Benny?

Benny.

Absolute legend.

Yeah, he's pumping.

The Gladiator squad's crushing it, man. Not, not to say the Titans and Fire Breathers aren't doing their fair share. It's, it's epic to see the, the challenges and, and the battles and it were very competitive. But yeah, agreed, man. I think the hard part is, Steve, like you look at, you look at goals, right? And all of a sudden everything's scattered. So, so it's like, I've got to do this and do this and do this. But then if you, if you can pull it all under one thing, like, here's our 21 day challenge. It's okay. All I need to do is the challenge and then it's like a sub tier of that is okay. These are the disciplines now. Phase two with the LIFE protocol is volume and it is a real test. It's short bursts, 21 on, seven off, short burst, but it is volume. That's 12 disciplines, not seven. Phase three is less. It's only five disciplines, but they build on that to really cut at the core of consistency in the areas that matter, which I have enrolled. Phase three is a surprise too. I haven't rolled it out to anyone yet, but it's awesome because like you said, it builds in discipline in the right areas. It is valuing yourself and then it's building the confidence. Confidence that shows this track record of all these boxes that are ticked. That fundamentally it's not like I have to do this, then I have to do that. It's like, no, I just have to do this protocol and this is what it involves. And I know it seems weird, but it's a really good psychological win because it helps you really cluster or stack up the actions and the habits as opposed to try and piece it all together yourself. But yeah, how have you found it, mate? It's pretty good energy with the guys too. Sharing. It's quite inspiring to see just so much, so much work being done. Like, you do the work anyway, but this is quality work and you see action. It's energy in motion, right? Like I say, it's so inspiring when I jump into our group, it's like, it's crazy. So much activity.

You know, the awesome thing is most of these protocols that we're seeing within, inside of that 21 days, I think what I found is you just follow those things through in your day to day life afterwards when you're not on the challenge, which is really good because, you know, the simple thing like, you know, switching the technology off for two hours a day, it's been a game changer because not that I'm a huge TV watcher, but I would always get distracted with the, you know, the mobile phone, you know, getting a text message from a client or, or an email and then, you know, your attention's taken away from being present with your children. So for me that's been a real good thing to implement. Quiet mode's amazing on your phone, it's just great. So really found that, you know, got a lot out of that training. Well, Matt, just love that, you know, both myself and my partner Laura like to train. So, you know, sometimes that's a bit tough when we're both trying to do it. So it means getting up early, earlier than probably a lot of blokes. But that's okay, it's all good. Love that bit. So, yeah, I just love how it's, you know, just naturally flowing into what you're doing in your day to day life. You get some really good results.

Yes. Just made a couple of notes here and I was just looking at the thing around influence and ripple effect. Right. Like I know you say Laura likes training but like, how have you found it when it comes to just dialing in some of these simple disciplines? Because a lot of stuff, yeah, you learn for the first time at. It's fucking amazing in hpf. But then a lot of things are like, yeah, I know this. Yeah, that's right. But you're not doing it. It's fucking important. You need to remember it and you need to focus on doing it now or at this time so you get the best output. What are your thoughts on, I guess you know, whether it's something learned or remembering and you already know the ripple effect and how this carries out to standards, right, what you're showing both your little boy and girl, your children or, or Laura, have you found there's been a bit of a crossover or a flow on effect in, in terms of, you know, habits, family rituals, dinners, communication, other things like. Yeah, what have you found there?

Yeah, for sure. Well, we've always, even pre hpf, we've always sat down for a family meal together and that's always been very important for me. So yeah, definitely. Habits, habits, come on. And it's interesting like, especially for the kids, they're looking for that one on one time. Oh well, it's my turn, my turn to have some one on one time with you, dad. The Other day, Ruby was on school holidays and Max was at daycare still and a day off and she's like, we rode our bikes into, into town and went to the park and went and got a coffee and you know, she's like, danny, we're having some one on one time. This is amazing. And just, just you and me, daddy. This is great. And it was just, just a habit that, you know, has been just forged and they, they love it as much as I do.

Yes. I, I don't, I don't mind a little bit of shit stirring, but it is quite funny how I roll the kids up and so I got three. Three. And when we do special time, it's like status, right? You talk about this special time, it's like status where it's like I get special time with daddy tonight and you don't. And Lillian, she's. Oh man, like, she's so wild, man. She's as wild as she is curly with her hair, all these little curls and just like smiling assassin and mate. She. She gives it to the other two. She's our middle child and just. I've got special time with daddy tonight. And it's like I've become. Yeah, you become this possession, right? Almost. But, but there's that. There really is that excitement and, and even anticipation or, or like, like you said, what happened with Ruby, your little girl. It's just that appreciation. Oh, we're doing this. And it's like, it's, it's so cool, man. Like, how would your child know what a push up is unless they've seen you do it? Like, how do you explain. Oh, it's when you lay on the ground, then you push up with your eyes. Like so what, what they're seeing, man, it's standards, examples. You doing that with her helps her understand that, you know, what if I can spend one to one time with someone and help fill their cup and make them feel valid and important? Like what you're teaching your children is the dynamics of relationships and meeting needs and receiving those needs in different ways. Like love languages, man. That'll carry to work, that'll carry to relationships, that'll carry to family consistency and cohesion. It's. It's pretty big, man. It's pretty big stuff, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. No, it's. This fills you, fills your heart. It's great.

None of the stuff we were raised or we were taught, right? That's, it's, it's pretty crazy. When you look at, when you look at how we just try and Navigate our way through more often than not. I mean, we're done in hpf, but as men on our own, trying to just figure it out.

It's like.

But figure what out? Like, how long's a piece of string? What are you trying to. What are you trying to figure out? It's like, oh, and I just make sure they're fed and they've got, you know, roof under their head. And I was like, yeah, but they're the primal. They're primal conditions that you're just meeting so they. They stay alive. How do we actually help them thrive, you know? But what. Yeah, what are your thoughts? I guess. Or. Or advice in general or takeaways mate from journey with HPF on family, self at service. Trying to create some sort of juggle or balancing act. Like, what are. What are some key things you think are important, Steve, for men who aren't members listening in? Yeah, I guess advice like food for thought and whatnot.

Guys, I think. I think the biggest thing is you've got to get that balance in areas of your life, and I don't. Balance is a typical word that we always use. However, you've got to realize that not everything's just service and it's not just about you at times. And sometimes one thing has to go ahead of the other for a period of time so that you can align with your children, your wife at times. And sometimes the service has to go before things. But I would always say that family has to go first these days, obviously after self, because as we say in the trial, if you're not 100, you can't give 100. So fill your cup with the things that you need. For me, that's been looking after myself, eating the right things, minimizing alcohol. I like to drink, not excessive. And looking after yourself. Getting out there, training, go and see nature. Getting up Mount Lockley here in SA is going to be a big thing for the tribe when we get. Get them over here for the SA catch up. So just just going and looking after yourself first and then putting your family ahead of the service. I would say, yeah, just work out what it is for you and lean on into the tribe and these guys on the outside. All I'd say is make that call, make that connection. Because if you're. You're here listening for a reason.

And.

That reason is because you need something that you don't have at the moment, and. You don't have it because nobody has shown you the way before. The coaches inside the tribe know the way the men Inside the tribe know the way and they'll be here to back in 100% and make a call, have a chat to the guys and jump on. In.

Full disclosure, Steve's on the payroll now as well. He's one of the. Yes, sir.

It's.

I had a flashback when you mentioned showing the way to the very early days, mate, where it was just. There was nothing, there was nothing to what was called RDM at the time, Steve. And it's, it's scary, but I couldn't, I needed help to continually create where we're at today.

And.

The hardest part is really building a level of perspective and knowledge base that then gives you more leveraged choices. So what that means for those listening members and non members is when you have a better series of choices off the back of what you've learned and the way you see things, you have more leverage through not only the range of choices, but higher level choices you can make. And a lot of men don't have that because they don't even know it exists. You don't know what, you don't know what don't. I see that sort of shit. That's really hard, man. I can't imagine. Because the more you learn, the more you know, the more you realize you don't know. It's like, wow, there's fucking so much out there. But my space in 20 plus thousand hours here now is very obsessive. And obviously I'm a gun in this area, but it's like, fuck, man, it's really valuable because I learned so much from you, from all the men. It's extremely powerful because it gives you the opportunity to change and carve out the life that you really want. And it's not easy, man. And we have all. And what I'm saying with this also goes hand in hand with what Steve was talking about, with balance. What the fuck is balance? We look at family, self service, that sweet spot in the middle, but the sweet spot in the middle has like a big flag pole with a rubber band around it where you know at times you got to go, you got to zig hard or hook left or hook right or up or down. It's all in on family, all in on self, all on service. And you're outside of that middle, but that rubber band has to snap back around that upright, around that pillar in the middle. That keeps you strong and centered in what matters most. Because money comes and goes. You know, your health can come and go, your family can come and go, but things that you'll never get back are things like the longevity of your life because you let your health go too long time with the people you love because you let your relationships burn. Money can always go fucking make money, go and learn more skills, go and do other things, go make more fucking money. But those two things, if you let them go enough times, man, you won't get them back, you won't get your health back, you won't get your family back. And even if you did, you won't get that time back. Can't have a fifth birthday party with the little princess again when she's 18. Hey, can you and your friends who want to go out drinking or doing whatever at the club, can you all sit down and in these tiny little chairs and we'll put a little party hat on and like it. What are we? Chance doesn't exist. And what's balance mean? What does that mean to us? What does that mean to hpf? What does that mean to the HPF philosophy in the way and hopefully a lot of you guys who aren't members, you're getting the gist of it. If you've listened to enough podcasts and you've gotten some real time strategies that have helped you in your journey so far. But Steve, man, it's been awesome to connect Mount Lofty. Sounds scary the way that you said that with that grin on your face, mate. I'm a little bit. So we're flying up early so it could probably tackle it Saturday but I'll be legless for dinner Saturday night.

But mate, going up's the easy part.

Coming down is where my kneecaps are just going to get shot out into the abyss. They're just going to go out in the atmosphere.

You can, I'll pick you back you down if you like.

Surfboards up mate and write them down. That's going to be awesome, mate. Look really looking forward to South Australia catching up with our in Adelaide with our South Australia tribesmen. Hopefully get a few of the boys from WA over and break some bread and bond and you know, and yeah really just having that presence in each other's company I think is valuable man. The environment, the environment is key without a doubt but been great to connect with you. Steve, how are you feeling for season number two, mate and cracking on into it. Any, any goals, food for thought made or final thoughts as well as we wrap this up on on on your journey mate and what awaits as well as any last pieces of advice for those listening.

Yeah, mate, loving, loving season two, obviously like I said, probably Four months into it, which is really good. I set a set of goal around probably around my physical, mental being this year to be the strongest physically and mentally by the end of the year that I've ever been. And I'm definitely well on the way to that. So really, really pumped to be bracketing and yeah, look out from here it's only onwards and upwards.

Yeah, unreal, man. And sometimes it takes time to click too. No, I get it, mate, what you're talking about with season one, you know, the valuable thing is though, and I said this today actually to one of, one of my team, I said, and it's a very common quote, better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one and not have an opportunity. Sorry. Than have an opportunity and not be prepared. Now here's the thing though, even though it took a little while to click, you being in the right environment eventually revealed the opportunity itself. And you worked hard.

I think, Alex, for me, like, and I'd say that a lot of the tribesmen would agree with this is if you get, you get involved in the tribe and you have these wins and you're thinking that you're on the right track. So in some ways you pull back a little bit, but then you realize that, hang on, I've only taken a few steps across the creek and I need to keep going because otherwise, you know, you're just going to get swamped by the torrent of water coming down. So, you know, for me, getting lost a little bit in season one was, I've done well so far, I'm all right, I'm all good. But then you realize, hang on, no I'm not. And then you get stuck back in and you know, lean back in on the men and, and carry you forward. So for me it was a non negotiable to go around again.

So funny too, man, that you mentioned that. And we've got a few guys, you know, in the past where around eight months, eight, nine months into the journey, they pull right back. This is a common thing. So for a lot of men listening, you probably have these thoughts as well, who are on the inside, pull back. I just want to see how I go on my own and blah, blah, blah. And I get that. But it's like, fuck, man. Like, you know, I lean on the tribe and I'm accountable to the tribe and I leverage and use the tribe to continually grow in family, self and service every day, all the time. Like, don't do that. Like if, if those on the inside have any level of respect for me in my businesses and in my health and physical well being and my relationships with my children, my wife. And I'm very transparent outside, but also very transparent on the inside of hpf. If that's any sign I'm saying, hey, I still need help and I'm one of the tribes and don't be so fucking arrogant, right? Use the time. Stay like. This is something we said the other day, man. Don't go all in, stay all in. That doesn't mean you need to be a member for 10 years. But you're right, Steve. It's like, how far along, how far down the creek have I gone? It's like, well, man, like, if there are some rapids coming up, don't. Why the are you out of the kayak? Why are you out of the boat, man? What the going on? You still got some rapids ahead. You can't see them yet, but you can hear it a little bit. What? What, you. You're Michael Phelps now? So. And I say that respectfully because I know you just mentioned it there, but it is funny, man. It's a funny human behavior of us as proud men and it's like. And I get it and yeah, but it is funny. Yeah, mate, awesome to chat with you. Yeah, yeah, really good to chat. Really good to chat. Can't wait till we catch up. Like I said, in a few weeks. Hope you man got some value out of this and really enjoyed hearing Steve's story and, and some solid principles and philosophies. Philosophies as well, you know, around what success. What defines success? I love that, Steve, what you're saying, mate, you know, your children, when you're old, they do want to spend time with you. That's a great one, man. It really is. And how are things with you and, and Ruby and Max, mate? Pretty solid. Enjoying it. Enjoying dad life. 5 and 3. Amazing ages, aren't they?

Oh, mate, the best thing is you roll, roll in and driving the driveway and they just come launching out the door to give you a hug. It's just gives you goosebumps and makes you feel great after, you know, some of the challenges of the day. Bloody great.

They're a real gift, man. How amazing, isn't it? They just come sprinting and give you a big cuddle and. Yeah, it's such a gift, man, such a gift. I was thinking through my head the other day, like, a lot of people ask me what HPF is, but a lot of people ask like, either how or why did you start hpf? But the other Day I just had an internal reflection. It was weird. It was almost just. Just came to me. And it's like, why hpf? And the why was really funny. As counterintuitive as it is. It's not about the fathers, man. It's about the children. It was so weird. It was like, just like this, I don't know, this voice coming to me, I guess, but it was very special. It's like, why hpf? I was like, well, because children deserve the fucking life of a beautiful family and household and upbringing. And I just rattle off this whole thing. And I was like, wow, that's the first time I've ever actually said that. As much as we obviously know the impact it has now. You're the prize though, Steve. You and the fathers are the key. You're the fucking key to that.

Right?

I can't run a program for three and five year old Max and Ruby, obviously, jump on little zooms and. No, you're, you're the, you're the asset, man. You're. You're the key. So it is quite funny when it's like, why HPF's like, well, because of the gift of life, which is the children of the future without all the. And shaded actions and behaviors and, and just the entire downturn that so many adult quote unquote male and females live in this existence that just. It's fucking sad, man. You. You look at just all the average basic that goes on and it's just nothing's. Nothing's maximized, nothing's optimized. It's just existence. And then we look at these little children with no barriers and complete freedom and expression of life and, and blank canvas, man. And anyway, I just wanted to share because when you mentioned them running out, it made me think about it because, like, yeah, man, like, it's why hpf, because look at what the children get. It's a pretty big motivator for me, man.

Yes. Yeah, yeah. What they give back to you is phenomenal. And you'll never replace that. You'll never get that anywhere else. And you know, the sad part about it, Alex, is some of us may have not. May have missed out on that if we didn't do something about it. You know, I thought that I had a great connection with my kids. Now I believe I've got an amazing connection. Yeah, yeah, very true, man.

That's the whole discovery process of having the right. The right people, the right tribe and right exposure. Right. We call them standards. Good on you, Steve. It's awesome, man. Appreciate having you on sharing your journey. Hope you guys really enjoyed this and yeah, what a session, man. Really looking forward to catching up, but thank you for giving us the time, mate. It's been awesome and looking forward to season crushing season two together and beyond.

Thanks, Alex.

Well, that wraps up another episode and just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sources points, some of the things that might have hit home with you. And then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart and there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes four or five times and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of of this. And also if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You've listened to it. Write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak them, believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you can remember and make sure you consistently learn and relearn what is it's true and what is it is important to you in your heart. Take care, have an amazing day night weekday weekend and I'll see you for another one soon. Cheers.