247. Al's Insights #2

Hey, real quick, enjoy the upcoming episode. If you haven't yet, give us a five star review. Jump on Amazon, itunes, Spotify, anywhere where you're listening to this. Or you could alternatively look at Facebook, Instagram, Other ways to promote your love and appreciation for hpf. If you're aligned with a message and you love what you see. Take care. Have an amazing day night, weekday weekend, whenever you listen to this and enjoy this upcoming episode because there's some absolute gold nuggets that you're going to take away. Well, here we are, man. Another day, another dollar. Welcome to Al's Insights. We're doing another segment on four key pointers. Four four key one liners, key sentences, phrases, terms, things I've collected. I'm banking them and distributing them accordingly to all of you men to help you focus on not just what to think, but how to think and what are the variables that we can apply in our lives that are going to serve us best to move forward. And that's what this is all about. Thinking time and not just staying stuck in your head, but really thinking and feeling things through. That's super important. Guys. I know we talk about strategies and tactics and give you lots of advice and bits and pieces, but essentially it's about you going into going inward, going into that deeper part of who you are at the core. That version 2.0. Maybe you're at 2.2 and you're ready for 3.0, but this is about you tapping into your greater self, getting out of your own way, getting out of your head where a lot of you are stuck, but leveraging these moments to get into deep thought, which is really feel. And that's not emotions, but it's really getting to that deep feel, that gut intuition on processing things and moving through the process of life. More often than not, no one will ever have 100 hit ratio on your terms. So we're going to go into these four key pieces, short, sharp. I've got another four that I'll hit you with, you know, another day. There's some amazing resources and books, but ultimately I got to be fair men, most of these inspirational one liners and quotes, what not come from the inside, they come from the members. So huge shout out to those on the inner circle and those who aren't, who are looking to invest the time and energy to level their game up. And maybe one day you'll be ready to take the step, maybe not. But either way, if you're here now listening to this, you know, or watching this on YouTube, you're you're a man who's starting to. To learn what it takes to go all in and hopefully stay all in. Hundreds of podcast episodes, and there'll be hundreds more. This is about you. This is about serving you and giving you everything that you need to, to build a successful family over the course of your life so that when you die and no one remembers Your name in 50, 100, 200 years, 300 years, we're all for that same fate. It won't be necessary. Why? Because you've set the foundations and the conditions and the scaffolding so your family and lineage can continue to build. So, men, let's get on. Let's get on into it. First one, what do children value versus what you value? This is a really interesting one, because a lot of the times when I'm working with these men, they're struggling to connect with their kids. Right? Everyone says they're a great father. I get that. You know, you love your kids, you die for them. You know, would you live for them? Well, are you living for them? You know, as a great old saying, work harder on yourself than you do on your job. Couldn't be more true. Right? But job, family, anything else, when you work harder on yourself, you can be more for them. And one of the biggest missing parts that men don't see is a level of value they can provide to their children through their children's eyes. So I get it. We can all put our hands up, hey, I'm a great father. And some men will fall on their swords and say, hey, I've dropped the ball and I want to be a better father. And that, that's great. But somewhere in between all of that, it's about actually having more precision and accuracy in what it is you're trying to provide that' valuable in your children's eyes. Now, this has to be wholesome. This has to be something that isn't. Hey, my children value lollies, so I'm going to give them lollies. They're kids. More often than not, you're going to know what's best for them. However, have you ever sat back and gone, what do they actually value most? Have you ever sat there and looked at. Because every child is different. I've got two girls and a boy, and the two girls are chalk and cheese. Have you sat there and gone, what did they actually value? My daughter, and I think I've shared this story before, she's a gun at ballet. She's eight years old and just, she's blitzing it and the reason why she is ascending very quickly through the, the ranks of, of her art in ballet is because she's done a lot of training and does a lot of balance and stability and exercise work. With me now, looking through her eyes, do I position myself to talk to her about energy mitochondria breaking down muscle tissue, rebuilding and repairing sleep protocols, deep sleep versus rem. But she's eight, man. It's ridiculous. However, through her eyes, I started to look and go, well, actually, what does she value? Well, all children, people in some respects value, obviously, status and achievement. Okay, well, she's in ballet looking at the mechanics without being a ballet teacher, of course. I look at and go all. There's, there's balance, there's stability, there's muscles, there's flexibility. So got her in the gym with me, home gym, started doing exercise and turned it into a game where I didn't talk about what I knew scientifically to be true, to help her develop as opposed to going, hey, you know those, I didn't even know the terms. You know Those pirouettes, those 360 things you want to do, darling, you know that thing you want to balance on one foot. He come here, we're going to make a game out of this. And then boom, next thing you know, she's doing pull ups, push ups, jump squats, she's got little kettlebells doing swings, all sorts of things, but we're making it into a game. But also, the way that I'm engaging her through the game is valuable, but also the end game of what she's trying to achieve is valuable. So what happens? Well, we make it fun and playful. Says no expectation of return, right? However, when she starts ascending, becoming the best in her class, which, which was a while ago, all of a sudden the, the insights and perspective turns towards a level of value, connection and reward for the facilitator of what she now values. Being a gun in her ballet class. Who's the facilitator of that? Me. Why? Well, because I've developed the muscles and clearly communicated through what she's doing with daddy in a wholesome and genuine way. This isn't about manipulation. Has is and will and obviously has converted into her value inside of what it is she loves in her little world, in her realm. Her ability to perform, her ability to break through, her ability to improve, her ability to reach new heights. And it's phenomenal, man. It's like you guys would know this with kids. They've got unbelievable energy. With her, it's just like wow. You should see now what she's doing now. She's so proactive on her own, doing so many things. So the key lesson for me is going, all right, what do children actually value? What does Lillian value? What does Roman value? Hardest part for a lot of you men is you don't give a about doing what is they value. Like, do you really want to bang trucks together? You're a grown man. You've got shit to do. You've got money to make. You got things to go and hunt and produce and do. You've got bigger hobbies at play. So this is where it becomes a little bit misguided. Not only in the example I gave on how to facilitate value through your children's eyes to build a better bond, but also doing what it is that they love to do. Like, ah, man, I couldn't be like, it's. It's boring. I don't want to sit there and. And, you know, play with dolls. Why would I play with Ken and Barbie dolls? So a lot of you might not think that per se. Art's nice. Yeah. I want to connect them, but subconsciously. Yeah, you're not. You're not bought in, man. You're. So this is about going, well, hang on a minute. What do my children value? And meet them at their level, what do they actually value and enjoy doing that is wholesome and rewarding? And you can logically forecast that it is a great activity or pursuit in what they're doing, AKA lollies and all the other shit, like I said, are poor examples of engagement. Cool. Now, what do you actually value? Think about this. Like, not. Not. What do you value as a man? What do you value as a father? Well, as a father, I value having the deepest, most, most, most powerful connection that is of value. But to having the most deepest powerful connection where my children actually want to be around me when they're adults. That starts now. Even if you got adult children, doesn't fucking matter. The game of father would never ends until you die. And you know that. Never beyond that. Like, that's why we're here, to build a legacy through your unborn great, great grandchildren you'll ever meet. So what do you actually value as a father? Well, it's pretty simple, man. You've just lost sight of that because of the chaos and the bullshit of life and juggling everything. You value having an amazing relationship with your children. So when we pull that back a little bit more, it then goes, well, Hannah, minute. What. What do they actually want? Well, they just want to fucking connect with you. So if they value certain things that, left to your own devices, on your own, you wouldn't really care about, like playing with trucks and toy trucks or playing with Barbie dolls or jumping in a trampoline. But what you actually value as a father is to connect deeper with your children. Boom. There's your answer. It doesn't matter what you do, man. What you value is having a deep relationship that's meaningful with your kids, which means you can then come down to their level and you can do all the boring, you can do all the plain stuff, you can do all the stuff that you wouldn't care about, and you can step back into their world. And there's a real. There's a real thing to be said for stepping back into that playfulness and just finding that fun and joy again. Because us, as men, we give up innocence for experience. I've heard that saying before, and it is very true. The world's hard enough as it is. There's enough pain. You don't need to be an amplification device to enhance that and grunt and grind and push uphill your whole life. So use the innocence of your children to tap back into the playful nature of the child at heart that is in all of us, really. I know this sounds pretty basic and simple, man, but it's so important. What do your kids actually value? And find the tangible, like find the tactical things they love doing. What do you actually value in terms of your role as a father? Fantastic. And just connect those two dots. We call it special time. 10 minutes. Fill your buckets, children of children's, buckets of power and attention. For 10 minutes. They're the boss. You can be full panda, don't need to be the Viking. And you do whatever they want and you let go. You stay now in the present moment and you step into their world. All you value is an amazing relationship with them. It doesn't matter what you're doing. All they value is here and now, in the present, which they're great teachers of to us, to be fair. In the activity they're currently doing. If you can have the smarts, the intelligence, the awareness to plug those two together, you'll have a flourishing relationship with your children, I promise you that. And it's something that will go season on season into adulthood, where you've just got that deeper bond so that when they are in different environments of other people, places and things, trying to distort their reality, pull them away and manipulate them, pull down their values and whatnot, they'll stay true to the core because of the time and energy. It's not just time, but the quality that you put into them, which takes me to the next one. There's a real difference between trying to control something and learning to let go. I want you to think about this for a second. Stopping trying to control something, something always out of reach, outside yourself that you're looking to pursue versus learning to let go. A lot of the times, men, we don't even realize how much we're trying to control things that don't really matter. But the hardest part and the blind spot for all of us is not realizing the things that we're already holding onto and we're holding on so tightly. It could be your own stories, your own bullshit, past trauma, things that are pulling you down, pulling you away from focusing on what's ahead and how you can be the greatest man, husband and father possible, whatever it might be. There is a real difference between trying to control something that's an active pursuit, that's something you're always doing. It's a constant tussle, whether it's the misses, whether it's the kids, whether it's your place of work or business. You know, there's a real risk in trying to control things externally, outwards of yourself. That comes with a victim mentality. Because, man, that's. That's a fool's game to play. Trying to control the uncontrollables in life. Hard part is, though, you'll have pockets in time like your children, because you're more powerful, like your wife, because she may be more subservient, who knows? But there are elements in life where you already have a stronghold that you don't realize you need to let go of. Food for thought. Something I just wrote down that came to me one day when talking to one of the members is like, hang on a minute. We can see a lot more clearly on what it is that we're trying to control. But what about the things we've already got a handle on that we need to learn to let go of? So much so that your knuckles and your fingers are turning white and you don't realize, and all of a sudden you look down, your hands like, holy, look at all this stuff I'm holding on to. And I'm serious, man. This could be a relationship with your father, and you don't want to become the father that you had. However, through focusing on that so much, you fall back in old patterns, old habits, old things, and you start to see your father through yourself. And how you're engaging and interacting with the kids. And then there comes this guilt and this shame, and it becomes a vicious cycle. And all of a sudden, you don't realize what you're holding onto is something that is really not serving you. You're holding onto a story, but you're focusing on the wrong elements of that story instead of the gift that your father might have been on teaching you what not to do. So then you're in a state of creative flow to then carve out something new for yourself and your children. One of the biggest challenges we face is not realizing that we're actually holding onto something that we need to let go of. Because you don't fucking know. It's like your head's buried in the sand. So do a little bit of a triage, just a little tactical play here or strategy. Do a little bit of a triage on yourself and be like, what are some things that I'm actually holding onto? So instead of I realize it's a tussle with my wife or with my kids or with work or with clients or with employees, you get that, right? That's real time. That's at the forefront. That's a constant battle. And so you spend time there. But hang on a minute. Let's just zoom out a little bit more. And weirdly enough, what you're already holding onto contributes to those things you're reaching for. Why am I overreaching? What's the bullshit that I'm holding onto? What are the stories I'm holding onto? What are the things that tells me I'm not enough? What are the things that are identifying who I am because of my title as a father or my place of work, or who are you? I spoke about this in the Other Insights. Hang in a minute. Pull back. What are the things you're actually holding onto? Mostly stories and belief systems that you need to learn to let go of. And such that by doing that, you're freeing up your mental bandwidth, you're freeing up your capacity, and you're entering a different state of flow where you know what you don't need. Yeah, you want. Yeah, you have intent, but without attachment, you're all good. Either way, you're throwing that energy into the universe where you're like, hey, look, we'd love to play a contributing role as a leader in this. I'm not saying don't lead and make decisions when it comes to your family, but also, or work or any other area of your life outside of yourself. But also, hey, man, learn to go with the flow a little bit more. When you do that inherently as a man who's ambitious and driven to grow, evolve and become more, you won't lose when you do that from position of a man who's lazy as fuck, just sits on his hands and doesn't do anything. Oh yeah. Life will of course dictate your terms. Life will dictate the experiences you'll have. You've got no hope of carving anything out. So it's finding that sweet spot. But having the capacity and the skills to be able to push forward into that sweet spot of navigating your life, but also choosing when and what battles to make what things hold on, what things to not hold on to. Comes down to first you learning to let go and remove some shackles and baggage. When I say shackles, a lot of people visualize that these change are locked onto you or there's this like this big cross section of chains and links with a massive padlock across your chest or your wrists and your head. It's like, no, no, no, you're holding them. You're holding the rope that's carrying the 5,000 pound sled or you know, five ton sled that carries all the shame, guilt and stories of the past. You're holding onto those ropes, you're holding onto those chains. You've wrapped those chains around your arm. Just let it go, man. Just let it go. Let it go and know that you are enough. Not you do enough. Don't be lazy or complacent, but you are enough to become more. If you let go. Instead of starting in the minuses and grinding through life and being a battler, you can actually start on the front foot, move at great speed and move more freely. Just food for thought on that one, man trying to control things. Yeah, of course. A no, no. But where's that stemming from? Is that coming from you actually not letting go and learning to let go of things you're holding onto too tightly you didn't even know existed? Mainly stories, belief systems, the past. Pretty important stuff to work through and do a little bit of reflection on your own. Point number three, Owls insights. Hope you boys are loving this. We'll wrap this up shortly. 15 minutes in. How good, Short, sharp and setting you up for the day or the day ahead if you're listening to this at night. Point number three. This is really interesting when I've had so many discussions with men around women, what women want and what that looks like. Women need us to be everything they're not yet understand and connect to what they are. What. What a crazy. What a crazy, you know, mind game, right? They need us to be everything they're not. Like a woman who's either either left field or feminists or mis, independent, all that sort of stuff. And if women are watching this, they know what I'm talking about. Like, if a woman is really adopting a high level of masculinity, whether it's through money, the higher and the more money you make, the more masculine energy required. Money is a competitively driven world exchange of value. The more masculine a woman becomes, whether she's a CEO or lady boss, whether her man's a fifo or he's just physically not present. Like, you've got to be careful. There are so many different conditions in life. Men, a lot of the times, most of the times, it's not really your fault or her fault. It's just a part of the conditions. Coupled with social media, you know, trying to enhance depreciating assets. Women, so being independent, strong social status, beauty, like, these are all depreciated assets. Because what can a woman have when she's older? The only thing that really matters, a great man by her side who's loyal to the death and also a great family around her. Not Chanel bags, Louis Vuitton's money, and another five or six or 12 or 15 dicks that have been in her. So it's really, really important to know that for you as a man, even though you might be experiencing pain and friction with your wife, you need to look back and go, hang on a minute. She loses big here too. We all lose. Everyone loses. Because as a man, it's just as especially into your 50s, man. Most men are broken and don't come back from that when. When, you know, the kids up and fly the nest. All right, cool, I'm out. And the woman will do all these things to try and, you know, hold off the. The accelerated aging that happens. You know, operations, Botox, all sorts of things, makeup. But it comes for everyone. Same with you as a man. If your value is building an empire and doing that financially, you've only got so. And as you're entering your 50s and late 50s, how much time do you have to rebuild from scratch? Pretty fucking tough. So how do we combat this? Well, understanding one, women fabricate their reality based off their emotional state. You should probably write that down or slow that down and play it again. Like, they think through emotions. They think with their feelings. I mean, you know that when they talk about anything logical, that doesn't make sense, but that's their reality, which could be one of 40 different variables she just. Just plucks out at will. So I understand that they actually need us to be everything they're. They're not. They need us to step up and be the man. You can't keep being the panda. You know, it's frustrating because I feel for men who reach out to us who are pandas, because they typically lack the balls and courage to do something. HPF on the inside. Could be a dollar, could be 500 grand. Doesn't matter. There's always a roadblock where they tell themselves a story that, I won't make this decision yet. Did you ask your wife for permission for all the plays you did and all the trauma and all the hardships you caused? Of course you didn't. So it's really interesting how men like a buffet selector where they look at these buffets and buffet sounding French. They look at these buffets and go, all right, well, I'll pick and choose where I'll make decisions to destroy my life, but I won't step up on one thing that'll enhance it. Make no mistake, we're not short of work. I just feel for the family and the men who get so close, but don't pull the trigger. Why? Because you're a panda? Like, get some fire back, man. I'm not here to challenge you, to say you don't have balls. You've just tucked them away. Of course you have balls. We all do. We all have that courage. It's a constant state of decision making and flow. It never leaves. Like, one courageous act doesn't save you for the next thing. Me being courageous as that fat boy stepped up, become an elite athlete. That doesn't help me now. That doesn't save me now. Can help me through tapping into a mindset on tough days like becoming a first grade rugby league player in less than 18 months, it's unheard of. But also, is that going to help me right now, or is the mentality I can tap back into to build and restore confidence on tough days like we all have that says, ah, of course I'm the prize. When you can build that track record, you will be unstoppable. This is what women want. They need you to be everything they're not. So let's look at this. Let's reverse engineer this. What are women? They're uncertain. They're filled with all different variables. They're so emotionally driven, they're constantly in a state of anxiety and or overwhelm so past and future. And they're bouncing between those timelines, which is quite stressful. They're all these things that can lead to the beautiful gift that they are and the variables that come with life but ultimately becomes unstable. And then you've got children, you've got all these other mechanisms where they lose their identity. So what do they need you to be then? You to be the fucking rock. So they need you to be everything they're not. You need to be the rock. You need to fucking be strong. Make decisions, fill their cup physically and mentally and emotionally. So alleviate decision making processes, pull them away from the children so they don't become that hen that just sits and broods like the Australops, the black hens. They're a crack up. All they do is brood, you know, pulling them away from it, saying, hey, get off the nest, get out, run around, get some fucking bugs in you. Right? Some, you know, eat some grass, eat some. I'm talking about chickens here, not humans. You know, don't become like a clash schwab puppet. Eat meat. Eat good red quality meat that's grass fed. But anyway, that's another day, another story. Moving forward, making sure that you are in a position that provides leadership to your wife. But through that leadership empowers her to step up on her own, look after herself. Because you both lose your identity through parenthood. Men and women, it just comes at different stages. For them it's very early on and later on, which is why they're ready to fly and they're mentally cooked, especially if you haven't supported them. For men, it's typically later on when you look back, you've just become the unappreciated ATM machine and all of a sudden you've become redundant in the family. How does that feel for you? Being redundant and seen as such by your children, your wife, where you don't get that respect? Well, let's, let's, let's look at the state of avoiding that. Let's look at the opportunity to prevent that happening. And that comes down to, hey, I need to be everything my wife is not yet. I need to understand and connect to what they are, who she is. Why? Because then I can come down on her level and she can feel heard and understood. Talking with kids all day, she's got an adult that can emotionally support and understand where she is. A little bit of panda comes in. But if you're a full panda all the time, like being a puppy dog or a yes man, I remember saying this to Corinne, Hey, If I just followed you around, did whatever you want, would you, you know, would you like that? Oh, yeah, of course. I'd get as much as I wanted, done. And be great and really? Wow, you'd like that if I just did. If I was just a yes man puppy. She's like, oh, yeah, well, get what I want and I get more around the house. Done. And I remember pausing, going, would you respect me though? Like, would you find me attractive? Would you find me sexually powerful? Would you want to me like I was being. Yeah, obviously it's my wife and I respect and enjoy making love to my wife. But I spoke on terms of primal power, right. And attraction. She paused for a second, looked up and went, oh, fuck no, not at all. That's right. You don't have to like me all the time, but you respect me. And I can, I can woo you, man, like, I can, I can romance my wife and rock her world, but that comes at a cost too. I got to do. I've got to be a father to my children. I've got to serve men on the outside. I've got to look after my health and well being. I can't just say yes to my wife all the time. Everything comes at a cost. And there's other times where I can have the logical foresight to see what she's emotionally driving forward in an hour, a minute, an hour, a week, a month, that says, whoa, we're gonna head in the wrong direction here. That's not right. Hey, Crin, love you. But I'm gonna pull you up there. Like, can you not see that? Of course you can't, because you're emotionally driven and that's okay. But guess what? I can. So that's a no from me. We're not gonna be doing that. Weirdly enough, as unhappy as she is, guess what? She loves that. Why? Because it takes a load off a plate. Oh, thank. Someone's made a decision and he's led. And I haven't had to try and think through things whilst I'm emotionally processing. That's pretty exhausting. Men like, I love women. They're a beautiful gift. That is very exhausting. You got to think about that through your wife's eyes too. Like, oh, so we need to be everything they're not. The goal here is for you to keep your wife as soft and feminine for as long as possible. If she wants to work, great. If she wants to start her own little business, great dollies. But life is naturally going to hard every woman up. It's going to harden them all up. Why? Children, death, loss, parents, or the world, like all different variables, we need to do our role to make sure that through our masculine, we don't require them to have any masculine energy and we help them step back in their feminine. If you're a fifo or working away or whatnot, you're up against the man. We've helped so many of those guys. Why? Because you purely not being in the environment, she has to step up and play both roles for a period of time. So when you come back, you must triple down on allowing her to submit back into her feminine, but doing it in a way where she's not submitting per se as your slave, but you're allowing her permission to step back into being a free flowing, spirit, loving woman. Really powerful stuff, man. Like that. That's a really powerful point. And last one, Pharrell's insights and then we'll wrap this up. I've got written here overwhelm and anxiety. I just want to tap into a couple of key things that I have here. Written notes when it comes to overwhelming anxiety. One of those being, and I remember writing this down, I think it was on a plane coming back for one of our events, which is really good thinking time. I wrote the reason why you can't deal with all the things that are happening at the moment is because you're collapsing an entire timeline of possible hypothetical outcomes into a singular moment in the now which you have no control over anyway. So the reason why people have a lot of anxiety, overwhelm worries. It was like they're processing what I need to do in an hour, four hours, by the end of this week, this month. And when they're stacking that, it's like, fuck, man. And then you've got family, self and service and you've got things you can't do, that you want to do. You're collapsing all of that could be 8, 12, 25, 24, 53, like 500. Fuck me. You're collapsing all of these different variables, all the good, bad and the ugly. The good that you can't have, the bad that's coming, the ugly that you need to face, you're collapsing all that into this fucking second, this moment, this now. That's soul crushing, man. How the fuck would anyone deal with that? That's why you have anxiety and overwhelm. You need to be really careful of that. It's like, well, hang on a minute. What is the upside? What is the downside? Can I live with the downside? How could I Start improving the downside. So when you look at each scenario one by one, you can start chipping away at what you can, control what you can, and then processing the probability of what might or might not happen and working towards a positive outcome. Then you're focusing on what you can do, not what will happen to you. You're getting your power back. You're taking the reins back. So overwhelming anxiety. It's a great book that I'm reading at the moment, too. I'm just gonna go through a couple of key things here of these. Dale Carnegie book, couple of quotes here. Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand. What does that mean? It's the fucking now that only exists, man. It's the now that matters. But what can you do in this now that provides a better future? Now next one. I love this one. I've seen this plenty of times. You cannot step into the same river twice. The river changes every second and so does the man who stepped in it. Shit's going to change. It's going to keep changing. You'll never process the same thing twice, even if you plan as much as you can, anxiety or not, on how you're going to conquer next week, or that talk, or that presentation, or that argument you need to resolve with the missus, or that interaction with your children, or that, that relationship you're going to patch up and repair with the old man. Doesn't matter, because you're going to address at a different time and be a different person and say, well, hey, the river changes every second. Different river, different man. So why are you trying to relive these challenging experiences multiple times before they even happen? And there's a chance they might not even happen anyway. And here's another one. Ask yourself what is the worst can possibly happen? Prepare to accept it if you have to, and then calmly proceed to improve on the worst. Then, you know, like, then there's no. Like, there's no. Like, there's no surprises. Like, well, hang on a minute. Like, I know what to expect. I know what's happening. I know what may happen. Well, is what it is. I'm going to start doing something about it. So just a couple of key quotes there as we wrap this up, man. You know, it's so important to understand that you have the power of the now. So filling yourself with anxiety, fear, uncertainty, doubt, the reason why it's happening is because you have no ability to fucking do anything about it. But isn't that liberating you're collapsing an entire timeline of all these things in the future leveraged or coupled with all of these things in the past, which, when you stack them all together, it's soul crushing. In fact, that's a lot. That's the final thing that I just want to mention here inside of this book, and it's a really important piece. I'll finish on this. When it comes to anxiety, overwhelm, and feeling like you're not in control, the load of tomorrow added to that of yesterday carried today makes the strongest falter shut off the future as tightly as the past. The future is today. There is no tomorrow. So you're carrying the entire fucking load of yesterday as well as worrying about what you need to carry tomorrow and doing all of that today as well as carrying today. What fucking chance do any of us have? Take care, boys. Have an amazing day. Have an amazing night, weekend. Whenever you're listening to this, above all else, it's so important to get into some deep thought with what we've gone through and apply a level of actions that's going to move you forward that you want on your terms, the life that you want to live. What do your children value versus what do you value? If you zoom out on what you value as a father, zoom in on what they value as a child at the granular, you connect the dots, boom, you're going to have a phenomenal relationship with your kids, I promise you that. Trying to control things, you're always looking outwards and reaching. Let's zoom in a little bit more into yourself. Go inwards and look at, at what you're actually holding onto and go, hang on a minute. Do I need to let go of control of certain things and break those shackles that I'm free willingly holding? They're not strapped around me. I'm actually holding them. And I just got to learn to let go. Starts with stories, belief systems, some of the bullshit that we all feed ourselves. Women need us to be everything they're not, yet understand and connect to what they are. When you do this, I promise you'll crack the code. Like, you know, I'm not an arrogant man that says I've figured women out, but in a nutshell, yeah, they want everything. They just don't know when, where, how and why. So if you can be predictable and in that framework of predictability, add spontaneity, mystery, curiosity, playfulness, Viking Panda doing that consistently, she's going to know what she's going to get. And also you can be one step ahead and read her mind. But you can do it in a way that allows her to maintain the feminine whilst you maintain your masculine and create a beautiful dynamic together. And being a team and overwhelming anxiety. Well, it comes down to knowing what you control and the power that you have, which is only ever in the now. So why would you worry about anything else and then having little pockets, little sprouts of forecasting into the future to then go. Hang on a minute. Based off what I do today, will that help tomorrow? No, not based off what's coming tomorrow. What should I. What should I do today? We don't really know that both are important. Yeah, but I'd be skewing that. 80, 20, man. What can I do today that will help tomorrow? Not what might be coming tomorrow. And I need to react today. If you do that properly, you'll always be in the driver's seat, regardless of what life throws at you. Take care, boys. Looking forward to the next one. Hope you're loving the Al's insights. There'll be plenty more where that came from. I'll see you soon. Cheers. Well, that wraps up another episode. And just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you, and then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart, and there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes four or five times and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. And also if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You've listened to it. Write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak them, believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you can remember and make sure you can consistently learn and relearn what is it's true, and what is it is important to you in your heart. Take care, have an amazing day, night, weekday weekend, and I'll see you for another one soon. Cheers.