248. Modern Day Fatherhood w/ Member Tom Hill

If this is something that you're really starting to resonate with and you've racked up five, 10, 15, maybe 20 podcasts by now, I just want to ask a small favor of you. The greatest way that we create the greatest impact inside of this world is by reaching more people and more people really tying into the value they can offer themselves at a fundamental level. HPF stands for fathers really valuing and believing in themselves and investing in themselves so that they and their family wins. A couple of quick things. I hope you enjoy the episode ahead. It's a phenomenal one that we've just recorded for you, but essentially I'd love for you to give us a review. Obviously a five star review would be amazing, but whether it's itunes, Spotify, Amazon, it could be on Facebook, a Facebook review anywhere, Google, anywhere where you see this value in you giving us the approval and recognition that will spread this message. Much respect. Really appreciate you for doing that and also sharing this with someone who you know would get a huge benefits out of listening to this as well. So enjoy the episode ahead. But if there's just one thing I could ask for 10 to 30 seconds of your life to give back, I love doing these episodes. I do these for you, member or not, and for the wider community. I'd love it if you could just give a little bit back and really promote that you support this and this is something that you would love to share with others who you know, would get value out of this as well. Welcome to a special podcast episode. We've got one of our members, Mr. Tom Hill. How are you, Tom?

Good, mate. Thank you very much for having me and good to see you again.

Yeah, likewise, man. Thanks for giving the time. It's something I think we've been trying to plan for a little while now. Giving you, you know, a meteoric rise to success and all credit to you, mate. You've done amazing job. But you know the value in these podcasts for those who on the inside or not is second to none, because you can hear again real time. It's not about how well Al talks, it's about the men on the inside and their journey and their stories and their shares. And Tom's got a spectacular share for us today with where he's come from even early, as early as his upbringing. But what I love with this man is really giving insights into these journeys and stories that you will connect to and resonate with because there might be a little gold nugget in there for you. And I'm really looking Forward to this session. As always, it's very inspirational for me to hear your story again, Tom, and to, you know, to learn as I always do with you and the thousands of other men, you know, the. The greatest meaning and gift that life can bring in that performance for excellence and striving to be the greatest we can. And that's. That's what I really love there. So thank you, man, but welcome. Yes, let's. Let's crack on into it, though, mate. I'd love to, yeah. Get insights into. Well, who. Who is Tom Hill? He's been a member who's just absolutely crushing it. I'll let you share the victories, mate, and enjoy that, but doing a fantastic job on the inside. But I'd love to hear, I guess, you know, a bit of your background, upbringing and. And we'll naturally move into. Yeah, man. Like all fathers, the struggles of juggling life where it led to. Because you're. Every case is special, but fuck, man, you've been up against. And you've just done exceptional work with us on the inside. But yeah, we'd love to hear a bit of your background and then move into fatherhood and all the. The ups and downs that come with that and where you've come from, man.

Yeah, mate, thank you. Yeah, so a little background on me come from South Australia originally. I was in a little town called Montero. A lot of people call it Mintaro. I'm the eldest of seven there. And growing up the town was about 80 people. And so we had nine in the house. We were 10% of the town. Our school was reception to year seven and there was 30 people in it. Right. So we had a very small little community we grew up in and very focused. I have a bit of a joke about it. It's in the Clare Valley and there's. The topography's low and we're in a valley. And I made a joke about dad having no TV reception. That's why there's seven of us. So. But yeah, so with that, though, a lot of our upbringing was we were sports focused, mainly afl, tennis, cricket. So growing up, and we had a bit of a backyard, so it's always around being competitive. And I was good in the fact of having. I've got three younger brothers and three younger sisters, so you always had someone to play with or stir up or that, but you're also probably part of that. And I can see reflecting through HPF training, the identity that that created for me and. And, you know, being the older brother, protector, leader and also being in country, it was. You wore the brunt of protecting the family. Like there was this unspoken or slightly spoken thing. If dad's not around and he's working, I'm the man of the house and I'm there to support my mother and keep these little rugrats in line. So part of that came further into fatherhood. It was really like I. Stepping into fatherhood was easy because I was used to being around kids and used to managing that kind of dynamic. So from growing up in that and then I've worked in, always had a good work ethic, so zipped over everything from doing part sales for Nissan, mining, underground drilling, farmhand work, GPS sales, part sales for a lot of talking roles and then pulling all that together. I moved, moved around the country a little bit, chasing some work and then thought I met my partner and I had two children, Jackson and Charlie, with her and a big shift in life was going, oh, hang on, this isn't the white picket fence I thought life was. She ended up with or already had some issues with, like bipolar and depression and things like this. And then she got a bit of postnatal depression too. So managing this young family and I got to a stage where I guess you might have been a little bit narcissistic as well, throwing a sprinkle of that in. So anything you did, you were getting blamed. And that relationship fell apart, potentially. If I had hpf, then I might not have, but in her medical condition, it was hard to manage. So I was left. I had a job at New Holland and I was looking at getting hired into the whole area management side of things. But basically I had to throw that career away to step off to look after my boys. So then. And in that whole process, I ended up starting my own business doing Callum, which is a building design, consulting and council approval business. Ran that part time over the years and built that up. And then by the time the boys were about 6 and 4, met my current partner, Calissa, who already had two kids in the. And Ari. So all of a sudden I've gone from two kids, stepping into a family of four and really taking on that father role, as I said earlier, because it was like very important to do. And their dad, unfortunately or fortunately had nothing to do with them, you know, not. There's not really a lot of integrity of being a man from his side of things. And yes, there is some narcotics involved in his downfall, so. But taking them on as my own and the dynamic of having a blended family and then about four or five years later, we decided to have a little Covid baby because that's what you do in a pandemic. And we've got little Lola who's just turned three and she, yeah, she's a very spirited, young, strong willed little girl who bosses us all around. So essentially a very brief skim over all that. I have my own business that I'm managing. I have five kids and three biologically of mine and then I have the dynamic of a blended family. And really what led me to the HPF journey is obviously the, the media on marketing, on Facebook and it was the, the interview, your video was just like, do you feel unappreciated? Are you working hard? And, and the kids don't listen to you and, and just as you went through it, I was like tick, tick, tick. And, and I know a lot of guys from the podcast have said this, but I'm like, is this written for me? You know like. And I was like, well and then at the time I was like, you know what, I'm just going to reach out and I'm actually going to take a stand because my pain points were all those things. But I was working hard, not really getting anywhere and hard work was advice. Just work hard, like pull your socks up, don't be lazy, work hard, don't whinge, be an Aussie and get into it. So doing that. But as we've learned in hpf, you know, like family, self and service. Well, service, no worries, that's getting pushed along family sort of second to service and self. Where's that? And that's probably where I've seen the improvement in myself through this is actually realizing that you've said before that cup at the top of the pyramid needs to be full to roll into these others and have that flow down effect. So yeah, since joining, since joining, it's probably been the biggest thing that's been amazing for me is like you touched on before that everyone has the gold nuggets in the story and they really help. But the, the culture and the tribe and the support and the. Just friendship that you develop through this helps you through all these, helps you through all the challenges in life. And not just that, it's more like a. Inspires me to realize that I am more, I can give more and for my own personal side of things it feels like a home away from home. It's really a. Yeah, it's hard to describe because you feel like you belong. Like I've always had a maybe egotistical or self belief. Like I know I'm destined for greatness. And I've always had a belief that there's something for me or something out there. And I've had a seeking feeling my whole life. Was exposed to religion early. Like, that, wasn't it, like. And even in sporting clubs, there's, as you would know, you know, you have. There's some alpha ego and stuff, and you can't quite fit in there if you're not part of the little clique. So. But yeah, this was just step straight in and welcomed with open arms. Thanks to you, the coaches. But not just that, everyone in the tribe. Yeah, it's just allowed me to take on the extra challenges I have in life. And, yeah, so much so.

Yeah, it's. It's. Mate, thank you for the shares, you know, so much so, so much to. To look at there. Which I guess the one common theme I look at since early on is, man, you've been thrust into, quote, unquote, having to be a leader very, very early a lot of the times, you know, oldest of seven, tiny town, 10%, far out. That's incredible. You know, it's like, like a Genghis Khan or something. And hundreds of offspring. But no, it's, it's, it's crazy. And then into blended family. Hard, hard work, man. And then having, you know, little, little Lola who, Who, you know, obviously consummates him in some respects, I guess brings a family together as well. But lots, lots of moving parts, man. We're naturally, as a leader, it's like, hey, you're leaving from, leading from the front. You're just gonna have to put up, shut up, do the fucking work. Lucky you had that ethic in you. But unfortunately, like you mentioned, Tom, it comes at that cost of having an empty cup. And so many of you men listening to this with. I'd be extremely surprised if you didn't resonate with what Tom was sharing them. Because not only pouring from an empty cup, you're not even picking it up anymore to see if there's any liquid in there. You know, it's rusted, it's cobwebs in it.

It's like.

But when's a lot. What is. What is this? What's this thing sitting on top of these other two cups that I'm constantly filling up? What is this, an ornament? What's useful? You know, it's. It's tough, man. So it's like, credit to you who you identified that given, I guess, the behavioral patterning and responsibilities you're thrown into for pretty much most of your life. Splendid families. Got a fair few of those guys in here. That's, that's some tough work, man. Like, it's a real tricky jug act that I don't know what it feels like. I can resonate with the amount of memory through that, but I've not experienced that personally. But what I've seen is, yeah, man, it's, it's, it's hard work and I guess like leading into reaching out to hpf, was there, was there a trigger with, with you, Tom? Through the ads where I was like, hey, you know, I need to do this for me. Was there a feedback from Calissa? What was. What was happening in the home life? Was it chaotic every day? Like what was. I guess some of the frustrations in, in trying to win this game of life as a father, husband, man, before obviously we opt all that in.

So one of the big, one of the big triggers in that her son Ari is probably like me when I was younger, but he's very challenging and there was a role where I have to try and be a discipline him, but without firing off the mother's maternal instincts of protection. And we would have clashes because I obviously have some country values of respect and well, very common values, Australian values of respect, your mother, you know, work with us and, and he would always challenge this just at the phase he's in. So it got to a point where we had quite a large argument where I was trying to take a stand actually to defend her against his behavior. And then she was having a go at me and due my. Not the cup was full, but the bucket was full of the emotional things that I was juggling the pressures from work, financial pressures, father pressures and probably just being more unhealthy. So physical pressures. And I kind of snapped and said, you know what, I'm out if you don't appreciate this. And what I do, I've got my list of laundry list of stuff I've done for you. I'm out. So I started looking at places to go. And then part of that I was like, I am an idiot because I've done nothing for myself. I've got a car or two, but I don't keep a property to my name. Everything went straight into the family. So then I've gone, geez, I'm a bit trapped here. Like what I meant to go back to mum and dad at nearly 40 over an argument with a 10 year old, but that was the straw. So the. And then taking the step was, yeah, just those things that resonated about Being a father. And it wasn't to some conversations with the coaches and other feathers about working on the self. Like I knew there were things I can do in a conversation with a 10 year old and maybe not be so viking, but I wasn't in my opinion like screaming and yelling or anything. But I was just trying to take a stand for what I believed in. So really the it was just a built up of not looking after things, not setting myself up, not doing pretty much like the thing I've learned in hpf. It's not that there's mag like abracadabra fixed. All it is is it's almost like a high performance father. And the programs you've made is you're almost a father to us in a way in that you. The attitude is of guidance and hey, have you thought about kicking the footy a bit like this? Drop, move your hand here, drop it like. And then you're like, oh, I can kick. But hey, I'm hitting my targets now. All because I had someone align me in the areas of family, self and service. But the biggest thing I found is, yeah, I have. When you meet people, I think I'm adequately intelligent. I feel like I outwork a lot of people. You know, all the things you watch on TikToks and Instagram, you're like, yeah, I can do this. But there was a lot of fundamentals that were missing and now like looking back, part of one of the challenges which is amazing. The, the 21 day challenge. And by all, all steps are simple and straightforward to take, but they've led to what I call like magic and special moments. So just doing like instead of just being someone who's trying to control everything, I'm getting on the front foot and showing the love and appreciation that I was trying to come with, but it came with do this, do this, don't talk to your mother like this. So I've coming in and showing love, love notes and appreciation and writing things I like about Ari. And our relationships flourished so much so walked in the house like just yesterday and he jumps off the couch and runs over and gives me a hug like. And probably on the blended family thing is like you have kids biologically not as much as the mother, but biologically they yours are your blood. When you have step kids are a decision, a decision that you back up over and over again to love someone for no other reason than choosing to love them. And in that you build on that and you keep going. So having that relationship flourish out of doing simple acts of Just dropping your guard and showing you don't have to be you know, bravado all the time and yeah like just those relationships with the children are precious and I always knew that's why I left the kids left my work to look after my boys. I've got 15 years, precious years with these guys and then they're not going to care. There'll be a girlfriend or something for them to chase after. So that was all, all part of the layering of joining HPF and it's just been so many gold nuggets that have come through from everyone in the program. My son joins me at the gym in the morning now he's hard to get out of bed at 5:30. I push it back a bit but yeah I have, I've had experiences working out with my son at 14 and the other one that's come out the woodwork just two days ago they're at basketball season starting over here and they don't have a coach so it turns out I'm the new under 16 boys dib 3 basketball coach. So yeah so take and I haven't played, watched Obviously you like Jordan and you know a bit about the game but it's. I probably wouldn't have taken that on without having the confidence of what I've learned in HPF and how you can break things down and go okay, what is the actual mission that I need to do? And it's actually just helping the boys fall in love with basketball more and then pushing themselves in that aspect. That's my job not to win games or anything. And you guys don't chase the wins they come. So yeah there's, there's been so much I could unpack. I'm probably jumping all over the show a bit.

That's awesome though man. Like what you highlighting is the ripple effect that you're having onto your family and pretty, pretty special too like you mentioned in terms of it being a decision when it comes to blended families on hey that decision is one that's, that's reinforced through. Yeah the actions of leadership then pave the way. You know like it's so true man. I remember one of the members taught me this and I'm sure there's the, the study somewhere around 80 of the life we have with our children is in the first eight years of their life and it makes sense you know like I don't live under my parents roof anymore. You know and you know probably, probably speak to mum and dad maybe once, maybe twice a week. Maybe she do it every Day. I mean it's a bit of a gift. And then once they're gone, they're gone too. But. But it's like I look at them like, okay, I've gone from, you know, essentially take away school 16 hours, 24 hours minus school and sleep under one roof, awake. And it's like, okay, well. And then a phone call a week. So it's pretty special, man. Like you said, where we've got limited time and what we're embedding are these. This is men. I gotta say this like it's the longest but most valuable fucking investment, but the longest investment and you get returns. You don't have to wait till your deathbed. But it's the longest investment you'll ever make that long term game with your children because you training with your son, like, that's something that he will fucking cherish forever. One of the members did a video on the inside the other day talking about how his son said to stabbed, when I grow up, I want to be a high performance father. Like that is just like mint.

That's awesome.

That is.

Yeah.

How do you. It's can't even, man. You just. I'm just lost for what. You can't even explain the feeling of that, you know, and, and to have someone like that, like I, you know, not, not to hack on people. If they want to do this, that's fine. You love sports and all sorts of things. But I look at like my son, I'm like, do. Okay, if he likes basketball, cool. But do I want him to wear like some of the fucking blokes Last name on the. On, on the back of his. Yeah, and, and look cool. All right. You want to support a Sport and have LeBron James on the back of your. Yeah, cool. But it's not that, it's. Do I want my son to idolize some other bloke because I'm not stepping up and showing as opposed to, hey, I like this guy's in this team and I'm going to wear this team's colors because I enjoy basketball or footy or, you know, like my son loves the Panthers and don't know how I'm trying to get him away from footy, but it just seems a bloody natural. And he's got curly hair like Liam Martin and he's just a weapon. He actually won the. Won the. I think it's called the. Is it the Dale? No. Clive Churchill, mate. Phenomenal. And so when he's on TV running with his hair and he scored tries and that in the grand final. Roman's point at him going, yeah, like, yeah, but he's not going to wear a Liam Martin jersey. Like I used to play rugby league. I'm not going to get my old jerseys out for him. But I want to make sure that I foster yes. You know, inspiration in him for sure. But like I want to lead that firsthand and that. Yeah, you're training with a young bloke, man. Like, that is just. I can't express this enough, man. This stuff. And more often than not, it's why we call it special time where you give the power to your children or something you did combine, which is fantastic, man, because there's so much value there for you personally, for him personally, for both of you together. Perfect. That's why I love gym fitness, primal power. Even with the. Even if you had daughters, you know, getting exercise, healthy fitness. Yeah, it's awesome. But the. The big thing here is when we talk about special time and your children, what they value. Doesn't matter if it's boring to you. Like there's some things my son wants to do which I'm a grown man. I'm like, man, why the would I want to do that on my own? But what I value is a connection with him, not the activity we're doing. And what he values is through the activity. He loves having his old man buy in as well. And that's.

Yeah, that's preaching, mate. 100. I've had to sit there last night and do voices for. We had a rubber ducky, a magnet and a packet of Mentos. And I had to make up voices for each one of those with my 3 year old. And if I stopped, I was in trouble, bro. But yeah, and going back to even like all this, like, it wasn't. I said, hey son, come to the gym. I need to direct you into this. You're gonna look at me like a hero. Put this guernsey on, so to speak. Is it was actually just me going out and being active and he saw that and wanted to join in. And the special time was, hey, I did a bit of basketball with him and just taking those little steps in what we're guided through by our coach and awesome coach Eric that has allowed that magic to occur. And then you go and you look at it more and exactly what you said you like, I want to be the man that hero is probably the word I identify with. But I want to be the hero providing guy they look up to. They don't need to. You don't need a superpower for that either gents, you know, like literally spending time with them and doing exactly what you said, playing with the GI Joes or being a rubber ducky voice or whatever it is. And then also being the type of man that's doing all those. The service side of things and providing and being the chief of the house and really being a center for them, being the pillar that they can come back to, being the umbrella that protects them from the rest of the world. Yeah, 100%.

It's absolutely the connection. And it's so. It's so powerful, man, when you're building those connections. Where I remember seeing this guy, he's in the States. I think he's pretty solid following too. He's ex military, really big on traditional values, the family nucleus, you know, like, it's not. Women are a beautiful gift this planet, but I hate how people try and compare through equality of output and trying to measure that as the same as equality of value. I will always be able to make more, you know, to produce and perform hard and have more testosterone and masculine energy than my wife. The end where I'll never have the nurturing capabilities that my wife has. So it's like equality of value. But he's big on that board. He's talking about is. He's like, hey, don't underplay. He said, this is very important for fathers and their sons. But again, it could be the same with daughters. But he's like, you got to remember, like, your little boy's there looking up to you and like what you just mentioned then Tom, which is great. And that's a really good point to highlight too. It's not like HPF is like we're forcing our kids. The greatest way to communicate is by example. Always has been, always will be. And kids know that because they're very in tune. Like, they're born perfect. Children and babies are born intuitively and energetically perfect. They're a blank canvas. And then we, you know, I don't want to say we it up and put negative light on it, but we run the risk of.

Of.

Of tainting a lot of things. Yeah, like a lot of things that are pure. We. We definitely create impurities and try and dance around with clever things like words and articulation. But he was saying, don't. Don't write off just the simple things where it's like, hey, son, I'm going to the hardware shop. Do you want to come for a ride? He's. Because they, they. They love. Like, I get up now, Roman wakes me up so I set my alarm. I'm doing a bit of a block. It's about 4:30. Not too early, but early enough. But little man, he's up at 5 and he comes running in and I purposely don't make a coffee now. So I'm doing work for like half an hour. An hour doing thing or my journaling and. And I'm a bit like I need a bit of a Wake me up. But he comes running in because he's like, daddy, you got to make your coffee. And he gets up and he does it all, man. He's. And then he wanted to make that he shaken like he just. He's just all simple things. He just. And it's like lights up his day. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a fantastic. Like my boys are more useless than that. I have to say. It would be a coffee. But yeah, no, like in that. Like that's the magic of everything you do and, and having the space for that to occur. If you would just get up and you're a man on a mission. We all know that. But if you'll just get up, go. You're at the gym before he's up. Too bad, too sad like. And you didn't take the time to look at that then. That magic doesn't happen in life. And what do we have if it's not just. You know, I have a saying. It's like making memories and trying to remember them and if you don't make the memories, there's nothing to remember. So it's. Yeah. Like that's 100% like the biggest X factor in joining all this is just. That's a perfect example of the little things and being around and being at present to see that. Yeah, that's awesome.

Lovely said then too. Man making. Yeah. It's for us men, it really is about. And I don't like, I'm very cautious about this. Right. With our advertising, our marketing, you know, in not trying to like, we never try and guilt trip men into anything but me dead. Like if you need any drive in your life to look in the mirror and say, hey, I need to step up and lift my game, I don't feel like doing it myself. Holy man. Look at your children in the eye and tell them you're giving them. Tell them you're all in. Right. And if you can't do that, you know, you've got some work to do. Like I just.

Yeah.

It's not a judgment thing. I'm exactly. We're all. We all got work to do. It's Just what level do you want to play at? Or do you want to disguise it with stories and words and, and, and you know, like it's making memories that are worth remembering and, and look, I'm. Yeah, I'm borderline perfectionist. Right. So of course Roman up the coffee most of the times he's four but, but, but I still drink it anyway. But, but yeah, there's times where, hey, he's four. He's four. Yeah, pretty, yeah, yeah, pretty solid, you know, for a four year old. But you know, he made one on his own once. Don't even know how he figured it out. But I went to, I went to the bathroom, right? As soon as I come out the door, first step I took, I didn't see it because I didn't expect it. He made the whole coffee for me and placed it outside of the bathroom for me. Like I was what, like what a legend, right? For me I stepped right into it, mate. Do you know how bad coffee is to get out of anything? Whether it's boards, the wall, pa, I was like oh no. And it went spiraling before it spun out. So just, yeah. And, and immediately I got, I got, I got angry and frustrated because it wasn't how I wanted it done that way and there was mess and blah. And we did a session where one of the members, he knows who he is and he said it with genuine, in a genuine way. He's one of our older bulls about his grandchildren and he gets frustrated but I forgot to tell him this and say hey, I won't say his name but it'll be valuable for him and he's, he's a great.

I know you're talking about.

Yeah, and, and, and what I wanted to say in last night's or in, in this, in the charge up we did the last coaching session was hey, what, what expectation as a, as a grown man who's very, very competent, very capable, very skilled, very successful, what expectations do you actually have of your 4 year old, 5 year old and 7 year old GR that's leading you to be a me? Look man, what, what, what expectations do you actually have? And that's where I look at Rome and he's the greatest teacher for me, man. Because yeah, as my son, love my daughters, you know, but as my son, he is me. He's going to become me. And I'm like, man, like I've got it. Like there's so many valuable lessons to learn and through the experiences, even where the quality dips doesn't matter, it's it's connection with him. And then I adjust my expectations. I create more patience. I become the chief Cool, calm.

Yeah.

And this is a valuable thing for that member who I didn't get a chance to highlight, where it's like, well, hang on a minute. Like you said, Tom, like, it's literally a state of creation. Like with the gym and other things, that magic will just never happen if you don't open up and create. And no, I know we've sort of gone on a bit of a. Maybe a bit of a segue or a bit of a tangent, but with fatherhood in general, but I think you're one of the greatest guys to expand on that and talk about it as well. Not only highlighting your own success because of what you've done as a father figure early in life and also a blended family. And here you are stepping up and.

Doing the work, and it is the work, but it's also like, it's actions, but it's like you just touched on is. Is the pulling back and reflecting and also just challenging and the asking that question of, oh, what is my expectation here? Because a lot of the time. And we did a great coaching call with Jamie a while ago about he's a parenting specialist, and it was like, what impact are you having and what are you bringing to the table? So me coming in with and the hats that we wear, a business hat and bringing that. And you've said it before, you're stepping into their environment. So you're bringing a business hat into their environment. And I used to do this, like, I'm not the same as I'm not a perfect father. And I will get if I have my triggers, too. So. But if I'm bringing a business hat with business triggers, like, you know, into their environment, there is no space for little magic. And there's no coffees getting made for me in the morning. Like, it's really like you're creating perceptions of yourself for them. And that can change if you change your actions or do the work. But, hey, it's like the best type of work you can because the results of having them run to your door and cuddle you instead of our dad's home, run off to the room and I'll sit on my phone, like, avoidance. And I had that with my father because he came. He came hard, put it all. All on me, you know, not like just in the old country, you know, mentality. And you wouldn't want to see him because you'd just be like, ah, here's old President business again. Like, you know, so it's the reflection. And even in all this, I know family, self and service come, but in the shares that I've seen lately, you know, family still. Family's still the. The. The apex of it all. Like, we will do anything. I'll look after myself, given that I'm providing for the family. Family goes away. Men go to dark places very quick, like. And unfortunately, we've got some members still dealing with that separation. And it can just be the wind has taken out their sails now. Do they have methods and techniques and processes and a support network to pull that back now? Yes. And then they can change that perception of who they are, creating other people's realities. But you've got to do that and provide that and give the space for that to occur. So it's. Yeah, that's my biggest thing in it all. Like, just look after yourself to look. Be a hundred, to give a hundred. And it's not just physically. It's emotionally, spiritually, in. In space. And you have the time to be. If you're healthy, you're not scatterbrained, you're not business hat you de. Stress, you get present to coming in through the door. You might do some breathing techniques. None of this stuff's taught to us as a country kid growing up. You just do what you're told and get it done and you're a man on a mission. Then all of a sudden all this opens up and you start living a life full of possibilities. Like in last night's Charge up. Limiting beliefs that everywhere. And it's. None of it's actually true. Oh, I'm a dad. Like this. This is that it's. It's not the case. Your kids. It's funny when you can challenge a limiting belief on a relationship because that relationship can change and you don't push it. The universe or God or whatever flows into that. So that's. Yeah, well, that's probably my main philosophy on. On fatherhood now.

Yeah. Some great, great points there too, man. And the thing is, like, just to break down a couple of those things, like when we talk about these things on breath work and recovery protocols and all the bits and pieces. Right. With HPF and what we do, it's phenomenal. The deliverables. But it all has its place too.

Right.

The problem is you go out there and there's so many relationship gurus who are jumping on. And unfortunately, I've had some men who've had bad experiences with them. Why? Because they're full of. They're just smoking mirrors and they're saying, hey, this is how you save.

This is.

This is how you save your marriage. You know, de. Escalate a conversation by repeating your wife's words back to her so she feels heard. And I was like, what the fuck is that?

Like, that's a bad idea.

That's ridiculous. What if your wife is talking full of. And it's like, why would you revalidate that? Yeah, but the. But anyway, the. So, yeah, everything has its place. But it's like, but. But it's all leading towards that. That end game of yours, version 2.0. And here's the thing. I've actually never. And I love that word too, actually apex. I've never looked at it like that. Although it's completely clear that that's what we've been living. That your family is actually the apex. And the reason why I've never specifically looked at it, because we always go family, self service, invest in yourself first. But again, in the layering of the teachings and the philosophy and principles HPF it. Is that why? Because nothing brings the mirror up more than those who are closest to us. So it's like, all right, well, how do I put my family as the apex? Well, you do it by fucking giving them what they want. And what they want is you to fucking lead. They need you to leave and they need you to be at the top. So by putting my family at the top, the only way I can do that is by giving them what they truly inherently desire from their leader, from their king, which is to step the fuck up and be a true hundred and keep pushing that hundred and bettering your bet. So it's really ironic where a lot of men look at this like family, especially wog culture and. But family first. Family person. I get all that. But it's like, yeah, but the what and the how are two different things. I want to save my marriage.

Cool.

Don't fucking focus on the marriage. The what in the how always different. It's like cause and effect, man. It's always two different things, Tom. But what I. So thank you for that, man. That's going to be a valuable little mindset piece and it might even be a podcast on its own, which I haven't done yet. About the three characters we play the seafarer, the mountaineer, and the farmer. I'm still. Well, I've got to get the wife on for episode 250. She's chomping at the bit to. To pull me to pieces and. And. And on me and all the men are saying, tell us what else. Really like now. But it should be good. It should be good soul. Yes, I definitely want to do that. It's like, it's like an expansion of. Of how to be the chief or where. Where and how it's chief. Right. But yeah, one thing, I love what you said then, which I want all you men to really take note on this, whether you, Whether you pause it and write it down or what is go through this exercise. This is, this is more so with your wife and your children, right? When you feel like you're not in control. Because when your wife triggers you with a few words and. And you fall down and fumble and get triggered, it's like, well, yeah, think of it through her eyes. Wow, look at this grown man who I've just fucking torn apart with a few words. Like, you've got to be so measured and in control, men. It's really important. But the question asked is what is my expectation here and who am I to justify or validate that position? Really, really important. So thank you again for that, Tom. Like, there's a couple of things, notes I've written here was like, that's such a good practice because like, yeah, when it comes to our kids or getting frustrated or whether it's employees, whether it's clients, like, hang on a minute. What is my expectation in. Who the fuck am I to actually justify valid. Do I actually have some cold hard data to show that this is actually validated in my position here and actually is going to create the best outcome? Even if you are validated with facts, Is this actually the best outcome though? Is this going to be the best solution? My mentality in this moment, yeah.

And like, in that you have to give your space to do that. And it was like in those moments too. I have, you know, I share this obviously with whoever will listen to me, but I say, dude, you will get triggered. The trigger's not what you're going to fix because it might be years. You know, we've got older members that might have had a trigger for 45 years or a trigger based on a real traumatic PTSD trigger. It's not about the trigger. It's about how soon you recognize it and how soon you can pattern interrupt that trigger and then steer it. Even if it's like a boat turning just a little bit at a time and then all of a sudd and you're on a whole new course with that trigger. So. And like you said, the mirror of family will do nothing but continuously trigger you, especially if you are in trying to be focused on growing, you know, your building design business. And I deal with council approval, so it's just bureaucratic processes of no logic all the time. And I can be like, f this, F that, and then come in and go, the kid knocks over a drink and instead of stab, it's a drink. Like, yes, it might not be a coffee stain, but whatever the trigger is. And my triggers I work on are the disrespect to the mother. But what I've also learned in that coming in and going, you respect your mother. There's some gold in. I'm trying to protect her from her son, but I'm interrupting and going before she can fix that relationship for herself, I'm stepping in. I am triggering her in a maternal protection that will never change because I am the threat to the sun, even if I'm right. And then I've hurt the relationship with my partner and then I've hurt my relationship with my son. Not in the fact that he doesn't like it. He's lost respect for me because he knows mum's got to back him up. So all of a sudden I'm in a position of no power trying to defend her honor because I got triggered by disrespect. So instead I can pattern interrupt my trigger and go, hey, how would you feel? Like that was said your way when X, Y and Z happened. You didn't like it, did you, Ari? So what should you do to your mum now rather than bring in Viking? So, yeah, it's. It's a big thing in. In managing that, but it's just everything's moments, isn't it? Like it.

Yeah. And some people feel like they can't control the time where I say, a lot of the times in conversations, especially as it gets heated, it gets faster, right? Oh, just slow it down. Why do you have to contribute to the speed? But what you said there, it's a very valid point, man, because I talk about triggers a lot and it's not even the fucking trigger, right? You could have a trigger for the rest of your life. Cool. Who gives a fuck? It's what you. It's what you do about it. Are you. Are you reacting or responding to the trigger? Are you leveraging the trig for the lesson, the gift? Are you using it as a type of leadership to. Because guess what? A lot of us have similar patterns and triggers, right? Same. A lot of people who. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but a lot of people might be Experiencing anxiety or depression or other things, especially with depression, that's mate. You might. You might have depression, but to experience being depressed, what if. What if you just outran that? What if you just outworm. Pick any term. I'm not here to pick. It's a label. Pick fear.

Pick.

Pick worry. Pick doubt. Pick concern. Pick uncertain. Yeah, but what if you just. What if you just outran it and then maybe on your deathbed, on your last day, you're finally able to catch up to. And it can eat you. But, man, honestly, like, a lot of guys are this way. It's okay. All right, well, you know, get fit and healthy or do this or do. Or learn this, develop this, do that, and then tell me how you feel. And then what we find is you get to a point where I was talking about with our. Our coaching session the other day, where it's like, you're too busy not being busy. You're too busy being productive and producing, creating the life you want. You have time for the bullshit. I don't have got worrying or the whinging or the complaining or the bitching or the. Because, like, men these days, me, men are just as bad as women when it comes to that sort of shit. Like, it's crazy. I don't have time for that. Sorry. And people. You'll cut people. People will cut themselves away and that. That's fine. But they do. Yeah. You know, but that's fine. Even the heroes, that comment on my ads is like, that's fucking great. I respond on that only, like, probably once a month. I just dive in, spend two hours, because it's awesome for the algorithms. It really promotes the ad. But other than that, in terms. Yeah, but in terms of feeling, I'm like, fuck. Even some of the guys who try and hook in. I'. Mate, thank you for the algorithm boost. You're a legend, man. My man. I'll do like, that Denzel Washington emoji where he's like, yeah, he's got that cigarette in his mouth going, my man, keep giving me that hate. Give me that hate, please. Oh, shit. But anyway. But the point is, I didn't have time to absorb that. I just use it because it's a tactical leverage point to create a bigger reach with our marketing.

And you've done a podcast before where you used to fire up a little bit over them and, you know, like. And then all of. And that you've broken your trigger, and now you're like, oh, hang on, how's this advantage for me? And that was a Very quick flip for you to go. Oh, Jesus, that helps my algorithm. They've just given me X value of marketing because of this. And it's the same in everything. Like, even in hpf, you don't even know what can happen in hpf. Like, I don't know if that made any sense. But you can't judge it from the outside, because even when you're in it doing it, there's so many magical gold nugget moments in. In the whole journey and everything. How you see yourself, how you see your family, how the universe allows abundance and things to occur for you they never thought were possible. Like, it's a little bit that. That stuff's true. 100. Like, if people are spiritual, but. Yeah, exactly. Take a trigger and flip it. You could be sitting there getting. And I've haven't looked at many. I've seen a couple. You're dealing with people. That's fine. They can stay miserable and judgy their whole life. You're off to transform lives. And what does Taylor Swift say? A haters gonna hate.

Yeah, it's. It's. You know, and of course, I feel for those men. They're obviously in pain. But. But at the same time, it's like, yeah, you're right. Like, let him. Let him. That's your choice. All of you men, obviously, the guys listening to this are somewhat, you know, on the same. Aligned with us and our message. You know, it's like this is a podcast for. For the haters because, you know, they. They don't do anything for themselves. But you're right, man. The biggest thing for a lot of you guys who aren't in hpf and maybe one day you will be, maybe you won't, and that. That's fine. But it's just the discovery, like, that's.

Yeah.

I can paint the most perfect picture of where your life will be because I've seen it so many times and to the t. Have that just hit the mark, Tom. But it's when the guys actually like what you've said and what the men in the inside experience. When you. When I see. And the coaches and I see that boom. That penny drop that.

Yeah.

When we see the guy have that discovery, it's like, yeah, man, that's where the magic is. Yeah. It's so cool. And you don't know. Just like when we talk about Think and grow rich or Law of Attraction or other things. And the thing is that I didn't emphasize this much on that coaching session, talking about even thinking grow rich One of the steps in that and rich could be anything. It could be in relationships. Not just down by money but one of the steps, the, the fourth step is plan the actions on how you're going to do it. So it's not like I'm sitting down thinking of a Lamborghini, like it's none of that shit. It's like they're very proactive steps, they're very action driven steps. And the fourth one, probably one of the most important is how are you going to fucking do it? Or how are you going to get closer? How are you going to at least get once, you know, I don't know how I'm going to get. I don't know how I'm going to get fucking 10 ranches all over the country in Australia with hpf ranches. But what can I do today though Tom? Just to get one step closer, you know and one step closer to one and maybe tomorrow I'll just get one step closer to one and another step closer to the first one and that's all it is. But, but yeah, the same with you guys. I experienced the same those discoveries like whoa, this is like this is magic. Amidst the, amidst the chaos the term. Yeah the challenges that I have all those every day. My kids are 8, 5 and 4 and they fight every day. They're crazy. They are just savage and all of them ADHD and they're just like their, their energetic expression and, and the screaming and the, and the mate. It's phenomenal.

Like it's, they need to be on the branch mate. Like the thing is we're putting them in, we're putting them in. A society isn't structured for how we're running. This is like powers to be have some rules and we're fitting in so we go with the masses and we're kept safe by government supposedly and these things. So we're, we're not doing like kids want to be out doing that and growing up in the. A different unique perspective over seeing a city kid or a town kid to a country kid like. And gone are the days where oh we're going off exploring down the creek. We'll see you later. You don't even know like the kids even in where I'm in Mun there's a, there's not that kind of exploration and being outside and you've made, being, being the chief you've made and being healthy and you've got some healthy strong children like they are going to want, they want to be running around, they want to be ways to go out to farms and, like, try and tackle sheep to the ground like big rams and we'll jump on their back and try and pull them down and like a rodeo or whatever. And yeah, there's certain risk to it, but that's the energy that they're going to bring.

Yeah.

And you can't, you can't create that in, you know, I definitely could probably pass the ADHD test and I saw a thing on that, like. So my ADHD allows me to see patterns and have unlimited energy on a task that I am focused on. And then I've got a bit of dyslexia too, which allows me to see other patterns and, and break things apart, peel things open, see things get behind the door, see the world differently. Side effects. I can't spell that well and I'm a bit loud and boisterous. So what is the superpower of the kid and anybody who's listening, their children? You have a challenge. But what is the flip side of that? That is their gift and it's just hidden right there, like. And then how do I create an environment that allows them to step into that? So, yeah, that's absolutely fighting against paradigms as well.

Like, of course, you know, sit down and shut up. Do what you're told. Follow these rules when the bell rings, do this when the bell rings. Like, you know, it's, it's, it's been just been shown time and time again. Even the man who brought in the schooling system said, I'm not creating a nation of thinkers, I'm creating a nation of workers. You know, John D. Rockefeller, like, it's, it's not, it's not a conspiracy when the bloke says it himself, well documented, like, it's like, just stop clutching at straws to try and validate your position. Position on why you're not going above and beyond to continually educate or develop your children. Because for us at the moment, we're homeschooling our kids, which is fine. It's not that I'm, you know, people can do whatever one. But the value that we got is what you said, let's invert this and find the, the advantage of my children being so full of energy and mate. Me and Krim are like, is this just because, you know, we haven't raised three children before? You know, we're not, you know, we're not on our fourth lifetime. Nothing else to work on other than what's around us. Right.

So it's like we're not at a game checkpoint.

Yeah. It's right. Is this normal or is it more like hang on a minute. And then we worked out a few things and now. Yeah, we like what you said, man. Can't keep them cooped up. They're in the pool every day, they're out and about, they go in the park. We're exhausting them because they need space as well. They need their express. They've got so much energy and mate. Since we've done that, it's so much better. Of course they're finding their way in the pecking order. Whether it's dinner time things. I want to sit at this table. That's a normal thing. But it's like hang on a minute. We need to have them full expression, full exhaustion of their capacity every day. Like, like when people say they don't have time, I'm like, yeah, well I don't have any time from yesterday. Do you like, I mean I can't, I can't go back into the day before and jag an alphamus. It's. That doesn't even make sense. Same with energy. You don't want to, you don't want to finish the day full of energy and you can't sleep. You're there to use yourself every day and rejuvenate. So why don't we do the same with kids, you know and then it gets absorbed. Screen time and other points of slavery really. When you look at the, the, the what technology can do. But how do you. I guess on like mate's been awesome to talk about a few different topics as well. What do you love? I guess what do you love most about hpf, man? Is it the tribe? Is it the culture? Is it the experts, the, the, the, the courses, the like the events or retreats or what? I guess just as we move towards giving the men some value on, on your shares. What are the results you've gotten so far, man? And what, what have you learned or love most about. About hpf?

Yeah. Okay, cool. So you know, if we just look at results in family self and service like so basically results in family are a closer connection. I was on the brink of walking away and that's a thousand percent against my core beliefs. So I have a connecting and loving relationship with my partner. She knows I'm there for her. She's in my corner. We've established that and we know that moving forward all the kids relationships have improved and I know that as a metric of they share and interact with me a lot more. And in business I think it was about and somewhat we do like business coaching too and some of it buy back our time principles and, and establishing some things and not wearing every hat. So business went up about 20% in streamlining some things there. So just straight away, just off that just if that's all it was that would be worth it. You know monetarily the family stuff is you can't put a price on that. And then for self though like lost weight, put on muscle mass. But I have like just the other night in self as we went across to the park as the sun was setting, walked the dogs and the daughters in the pram and she was carrying on whinging and doing what. So instead I just grabbed the pram and did race car but I'm doing laps of the oval like fitness that I wasn't prioritizing before and I haven't done anything like I'm training for a marathon fitness but I've been consistently going every day and in that massive thing is just your self confidence to be the sort of person to is a massive advantage as a result because you know, you know I've got up up and I've, I've been to the gym, I've worked out, I've made my body work as I've gone now I've walked to the gym not driven, given myself time to process a mull over then coming back and then I'm having my cold shower and then as the kids are getting up I've already put myself in a better state for the day so like a massive win there then. As far as what I like in hpf the answer is yes just to all that like yeah, just tick. Thanks. No, like the biggest thing is obviously what you've made and provided and the, the course material is just top tier and the networking and professional and outside coaching coming in amazing in their fields and every single session you get a lot out of that. And then, then the support network you've made in HPF with Eric my, my coach and titans is top notch and and his ability to because we cover so much in HPF and such a wide variety and complex of life to guide you to directly and then realign you and focus you on those points. Love that. And there's been a few times Add brain wants to do everything all at once and it's like no focus on this and just achieve that that so that's been amazing but probably the biggest thing that gets my blood flowing is the culture that's in it. We have a thing called workplace which is essentially Facebook but just for HPF members and you have your, your squads and, and group chats. The thing about that is when you're on there there might be vulnerable sharing and, and, and potential some heart wrenching conversations but you go to those comments unlike your other ads, their support. There's methods of how to tackle this. Here's how to reach out. This is what I found. You just get bombarded and just having an absolute it going back to my sport thing I get a feeling of team and we're going all for the win but it's not a premiership is they want you to win and you want them to win and there's just this whole undercurrent of guys that you can be in whatever position you are and it's like you see some videos of athletes running and they fall at the finish line, the second person picks them up and carries them over like it's not about the race where they're all running it being fathers and partners or whatnot. But yeah, it's, it's the whole culture there that I really can't express it enough. How important is it so much? So like we have a fantastic catch up. So I came up to the Brisbane one and and it's a amazing dinner experience, sharing great workout session and brunch and you really get to meet the guys and to Obviously Australia's so big you can't be doing that every week. So we've organized our own little catch up cruise in South Australia and some of the other boys are doing it. So it's not just like that's a unofficial, you've got a group of guys just wanting to catch up and help you win and then we're leveraging on, you know, oh, let's do a hiking and we're not going to the pub and having a beer. We're doing things proactive and healthy for us and creating a space, refueling each other, giving each other a tap on the back and sending out in the world again and, and making sure that you know, our fallen brothers get picked up, dust them, look them in the eye and say you've got this bro. And speaking to them and everyone sees you for greater than you are. Although you see yourself I guess not then you are. But so having that culture is the biggest thing for me and then also for me being able to be in that and be that type of person. That's what I get the most out of it. And anybody listening like, you know, take a leap of faith, do it for yourself if you want, if that's what you want to choose, but go all in on yourself. It won't regret it. And hey, at the end of the day, you can always have your misery refunded. Like that's no issues.

I've never thought of that before, but it's mate. Yeah, phenomenal share. What an amazing episode this has been, Tom. You know, you've provided huge value, man, and another biggest thing as well. Again, being here since day one. It's, it's, it's not. You can't, you know, see the picture when you're in the frame. I'm, I can zoom right out, but just little things through your eyes of what you and the other men see. It's something I've actually never really tapped into. And as we wrap this up, I just want both members and non members listening to this or all possibly watching this on YouTube. I just want you to sit there and just don't close your eyes if you're driving, but just visualize. Like what, what. How would it make you feel? Like what, what would it look like for you to have someone where they want you to win so much? Like, what would that mean to you? Like, how would it make you feel to have someone who wants you to win more than anyone else that you fucking know? Say this respectfully because your wives aren't mentioned. They'll never understand. My wife, Corinne, she's married to me, man, she will never understand. And no, it's not her place to either. Same with the children. So how would that make you feel having another man who wants you to win more than anyone, more than your mates, more than anyone else you know, and you don't even know them, let alone hundreds and hundreds of men locally or nationally that you've met in the catch up up you meet online, you never met, you've just met, you've just been here for seven years. Like that energy that wants nothing more than for you genuine best interest at heart to win at the highest level. Like that's like. I never thought of that until you said that then, Tom, because again, for me it's a given. It's. It's a service for generations to come, which starts today. But man, that is just, oh, that is like so rare. And like that in itself is invaluable, you know, in, in the.

No price, no price tag at all. And like I was going to highlight what you said, you don't really even know these guys besides a little bit of, you know, your conversations online. But like there is, I could get on there right now and go, guys, I need a place to stay. I'm coming up to Queensland. Who's got me? And I'll just go back. You just have like. And nothing enough for them. Like, like it's, it's a, it's a very rare special place. And, and it's not that all you have to do to be in that. There's not like this big tricky thing obviously joining as part of it. But as soon as you're in and you're in and it's just that culture is swept into you, you lean into that and you're just throwing fuel on the fire. So it's, it's just there and like, geez, even if you wanted to change that in this Alex, you couldn't. Like that's, you're like, oh too okay. And obviously that's 100 in the direction you want to go and what you've made. But yeah, right. And the guys are just. And the gentleman in this, like there's like I said when we had a catch up and like no one's not inspirational. Like the fact is that being fathers and just trying to do more for themselves and their family, like, and then throw in the rest, man. It's just like I'm getting bloody higher heart rate thinking of it right now. I need my, my zone on. I'll be getting some mets happening. I get a physical reaction to getting present to this conversation of that. You know, it's emotional like. And men, we need the support. We're dealing with a lot like you've said in a lot of podcasts. So.

Absolutely. Yeah. And it's, you know, family solvent service like you said, man, you know, you're, you're succeeding in all of them. Beautiful. That's exactly, that's exactly the point. Whereas a lot of other different programs or services might be ambiguous or subjective, for us it's extremely objective. This is your mission as a man to protect and vibe provide across these queries. This is how we're going to do it. This is when we're going to do it. This is why we're actually doing this. That's going to achieve that and rinse and repeat in the right environment. That fosters that, that growth, your environment is, is, is critical to anything you want to attain in life. Yeah. It's powerful, powerful episode, man. Really appreciate you coming on today, Tommy.

I love it.

Yeah. Not only sharing your story, but even with yourself, man. You're getting to a stage now where you're becoming such a great leader in HPF that you're looking on how you can contribute more and, and be part of the team at a higher level. And that's just. Mate, that's incredible. That's awesome that stuff we're working through right now. Because like yeah, like this is the mission man. Not like you said, I'm, I'm just a cog of the world now man. I couldn't, I couldn't change the culture if I wanted to. I'm just. Yeah but that's the whole point you know, to, to find men where instantly there is trust because of the values and the type of on board where some of these guys have already done business together like that that's like money magnifies personalities more than anything else. So that, that's where you're like yeah, this is. Wow, this is pretty. Or like you said guys putting other guys up in, in, in in housing. If we're doing inter, obviously interstate type catch ups and, and, and picking and it's like mate, that's just, that's unheard of from your mates, let alone A stranger.

100% yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

100% mate. No. And like you know, credit, credit to you and who you became. Like you said in last night's charge up. All this came down from a marriage breakdown that you had and you took a stand and you've developed that, that and you know, you lit a wildfire and it's. And you know I'm right behind spreading that because I was, I'm still like there was faults but I'm a pretty capable guy and stacking up to the people I see. You know some fathers don't even look after their kids like I'm looking after kids that aren't mine like and, and it's just blown me away in what's out there and what it's providing and you know like with the world that we're living in and the fear mongering that can happen, we need more of this. And it's about spreading the word and providing that man in a safe place. And you go on about we only have to see the pressures and suicide rates of males. You know like that touches close to home and having some inspiration, excitement and support and then being able to provide that to your family yourself and even in service is just amazing. And it's, it's really anybody thinking I can't say it enough. If you're on the fence, just lean to the left, right, just fall over the fence. And like I said before, like you, you won't look back. I haven't. And it's a 100 misery refund. I vouch for that. If you don't want it, like, I'll return that fully.

Great advocate because you're living and breathing the message the most. And like, like I say, all of the men who are going all in and staying all in, man, it's because of, because of good men like you, Tom that make it what it is and, and make it worth all the challenges. This is a tough space, man. I won't deny that. You know, it's. It's hard work. Is it works. Absolutely. Like, I wouldn't change a thing but up. But yeah. Been awesome having you on, man. Thank you for giving the time as well. It's been great to share your story and also get some. Some really intelligent insights into your position and what you see in the world and where you're at and how you even in this session have inspired and guided members and non members to continually step up and keep giving back to themselves and being the best they can, man. So thank you.

Oh, you're welcome. Thank you for having me on and the opportunity to share my story and, and yeah, just try and promote the HPF message and you know, what we're about and trying to help men and families out there.

100 because that's what it's all about. The family nucleus and being the greatest we can so that they all get the rewards too. And laying back on our deathbed, we can smile and look up and go, yeah, I was all in. And even though I'm not here, they're gonna experience the. The shade of the big oak tree that I. That I was.

Yeah.

Well, that I am. It's awesome. Thank you, man. Hope you enjoyed this. Those gold nuggets and takeaways. And thanks again, Tom. And above all else, make sure you apply action with everything you've taken in today. Pretty inspirational stuff. Thanks, Tom.

Thanks.

This was an episode that really resonated with you. I thank you for giving the time and effort and energy to yourself, but also to yourself through the vessel and the vehicle of high performance. Father, we've got a lot of wives listening to these now, if they don't mind the occasional F bomb. You know, I appreciate all of you, you for spreading the message. And if there's one thing I've got to ask, I'd love it if you could just give us a five star review or spread the love. Share this message with those who, you know, need to listen to this. And there are a lot of people as men, we're proud, we're not too open to go, hey, I'm hurting. I need help. And putting our hand up. But sometimes just a subtle way in their own privacy, whether in the car or the comfort of their own home, it really works when you just send a little link through. Hey, Bill. Hey, Bob. Hey, James. Look, I think you might. I think. I think you might enjoy this.

I'm not.

I'm just going to leave it there. You do with it what you will, but, you know, hit this link, man. Just listen to one or two episodes in high performance Father and Al and see what he has to say. I'm telling you, man, that is one of the greatest ways that you can impact. And some of those men out there you think are okay, you're saving lives. You really are. I've seen this so many times where you just putting that little subtle message, putting the feelers out there, the amount of men, suicidal or not, the amount of men who are on the brink of bragging, breaking down, it is phenomenal, the ripple effect. This isn't my legacy. This is our legacy that we have together by spreading this message and living and breathing the message as well. So thank you. Appreciate you again. Hope you enjoyed this episode. But by all means, share this with someone who, in your gut instincts, in your intuition, you know, you're like, I think they need this. I think they should listen to this. Please, mate, don't hesitate with that. Pull the trigger, make that decision, send it out to them and you'll be amazed at what you get back. Thank you again and I'll see you soon.