258. Successful Marriage In Modern Times - The 2 Pillars You Need

Hey, if you're someone who really connects to this message and you know there's someone out there who needs to hear this, but they're too proud. The walls are up. You can't show them. No worries. Flick them the link, share this podcast, send them the link. They can listen to it in the car, in the comfort of their own home, behind closed doors, in private privacy. Listen, absorb, and you know you are creating impact to change. There are so many people in pain who need to hear this message, who need to empower themselves, take their control and power back and get back in front. Appreciate you all, much respect. Enjoy the episode and again, share the love, spread the love. And let's create impact and change across the world. Cheer a successful marriage in modern times. The two pillars that every man needs to be fair. Every man and woman. Welcome to a pretty special episode. Special for two reasons. One, this is a hot topic. Modern times. Things have changed. Many things. Some have changed for the better, many for the worse. Yet here we are. And we find ourselves in, in these modern times in an interesting situation. And it's interesting because like all things throughout the course of history, history can repeat itself. But also there are changes that are real. So if you're looking to your father and then your grandfather or even your great grandfather or great great grandfather, should you bring him back to life to ask advice on a successful marriage, the requirements, the conditions, the belief systems, the advice would be the path would be completely different. Would there be some common things? Of course, you know there would be. But also there would be some unique points of advice that just could not carry its weight in this world. Put a roof over the head, money in the bank account, everything will be all right, son. Just make sure you provide for your family. But did you have technology back in the day, Pops, where all these different convoluted fucking messages throughout the entire ecosystem of social media, the Internet, anything that you can get your hands on, whether it's a tablet, a phone or a computer that would look at dismissing the value of the family nucleus breaking down the spine of the family, AKA the value of the father. Disempower men in such critical times where they needed more than ever to be up, upheld and valued and respected as they should. And likewise women. There is no harder job in this world than being a mother. Yet that seems to carry no value. Some through the men, almost none. From women to women. You know, you'd be saying this, bring your great grandfather back from the dead and show him your phone and social media and he'd Be like, what the fuck is all of this stuff? What do you mean more than two genders? What's this Alphabet thing? Sure, there was the odd queer here and there back in our day. And we kept to ourselves. They kept to themselves. They're people who just want to live their life with their own. What's all this fucking Alphabet shit? Yeah, I gotta be careful here. This is not our fear of being canceled, that's for sure. I don't want to take away from, from this episode. We'll save that one for another one, another time. But it's completely different. Look, boys or girls? Look, we've got a lot of mothers, a lot of women listening to this. Fantastic. Like that's great. Keep on this, men. Show this to your wives. You know, if they can handle the odd F bomb and whatnot. Like, this is so valuable for them. This is never at the detriment of a woman. Her value. I say this with my wife. I'll get Corinne back on again soon as well. Equality has nothing to do with output. It's fucking stupid. It's not equality through output, it's equality through value. And my wife has a very unique set or unique points of value that she provides our family that I might be somewhat competent at, but I'm not going to excel the way that she can because of my makeup and her makeup and how we're wired. Just like I have unique sets of value to provide that she might be able to. Look, she's a primary teacher, she can go out and make some money. But can she build a global fucking movement? Probably not right now. Could she possibly? Will she? No. You know, so this whole, hey, anything a man can do, I can do as well. Yeah, but will you, Will you fucking do it? Will you go and do all the grunt and all the bullshit and the disgusting dirty fucking hard laboured work that no, of course you won't. Just because you can doesn't mean you will. So just like me, I can't spend 12 hours a day with my kids. I love my children, I kill for them. I live for them. I live for them every day. I just can't. I'm not wired that way. Had a beautiful trip away the family. Six days after that. That was pretty good. Look, I. Sometimes little getaways are great. Other times I think you would typically need between nine to 15 days is pretty good. You know, a week and a half to nearly three weeks. Maybe you stretch it to 20 days. But after that, man, like, let me at it. I don't have a Holiday to escape from. I have a holiday to rejuvenate, to rip back into life. So, safe to say, when we returned home, I couldn't wait to get back to work. And it was nothing against my wife or children. It's just how I'm wired, man. Like, I'm spending the largest portion of my waking hours in and with high performance father building and driving impact and change, where we. Not even I. It's not even I anymore. It's. It's where we know, you know, I haven't created the family nucleus. I didn't create, you know, the path. Well, we created a path, but I didn't create what was, what is most valuable in a man's life. It just brought it all together. And that's because of the thousands of men that I've worked with. I didn't create family, self, and service. I brought together an ideology, or it's a law to me, but a principle. You know, our founding principle, mind you, which is pretty awesome. But, yeah, family, self, and service, three things make the man's life. Look, I didn't create family. I didn't create self. I didn't create service. I merely pulled all this together, engineered and facilitated off the back of the feedback I got from so many other men. No single person can create this stuff. No fucking way. The arrogance, the ego, Not a chance. So I'm blessed to be in this space that I'm the living embodiment of HPF every single day. And. And trust me, it comes with this hard work. People want what you've got, but they don't want to do what you had to do to get it right. I want to do what you do, Al. Yeah, but do you want to do what I had to do to get to where I can fucking do what I do? So that's. This is a hard road. Make no mistake, gentlemen, I love what I do. And it's worth it. It's worth the effort, it's worth the sacrifice. It's worth the challenge. It's worth the adversity. But please understand like this, what we're moving towards now is so important. Not to get off onto a tangent, what we're doing now is so important for the man, the father, the family nucleus. Like our grandparents. Our grandparents who might still be alive don't even fucking get what's going on. Like, what is this? This is some crazy shit, you know? Good luck. I'm hopping off this bus soon. I wish you all the best. So it's a pretty important mission that we're on. But what can drive the greatest direction and probably more so stability in the direction we want to achieve here. Coming back to my point, we it's not what I want for society, it's what we know is best. And that's what I love doing. And that's why I couldn't wait to get back to work from the holiday. You know, love my children, love my wife, but I just fucking love what I do. I don't go on a holiday to escape. I go on a holiday to rejuvenate, spend time with my family. I'll go all in on family and sometimes I go all in on self and then I go all in on service, sometimes the same day. Other times it might be a couple of days. Other times, like going away with the family, it's more of a week, you know, all in on family, Couple of pockets of self with training and whatnot, but couldn't wait to get back in. This is such a big thing that we're engineering and mark my words, you will see it. Yeah, you can't start. You can't start the business we're doing now and expect to have the buy in. Believable, believability, brand reputation, results and no way. So I didn't know Covid and the shitstorm that was and everything else was going to happen, but I'm grateful that I got the opportunity to start this in 2018. So much so that just before we dive into what I was saying, the stability for the direction which is your marriage, it's your relationships while we're here, these two pillars we're going to cover, that's so vital in today's world. It is so vital, man. Coming back to my point, like, this episode is critical because what is critical to a man's journey is his queen by his side. And same for a woman. Please, ladies, help me understand what value to remove the emotions. What value to do you provide as an old woman? If you've burnt everything around you that you love and care about, you can make some money or so can everyone else who's younger, prettier and more attractive than you. Sorry, you're 65 years old, you're going to have wrinkles. So this is just as important for women because the greatest thing a woman can have is a beautiful, genuine, loyal man by her side as well as they both get older. So this is a really, really important episode. Like, it's probably one of the most important episodes ever for men and women to listen to. But I do want to give a special Shout out to Josh, checking in. We're Crown Towers getting a feed, and this man walks up to me and shakes my hands. I said, oh, good day, mate. How you going? He said, I just want to come over and thank you. I said, I'll thank me for what? I said, my name's Alex. Anyway, he said, I know who you are. And eight years ago, he saved my life. I was like, wow, nearly. Nearly eight. Nearly eight years ago. I said, mate, that's eight years. Nearly eight years, mate. That's. That's going back to the early days. That's going back to the start of rdm. Josh, he's like, I know, mate. He's like, yeah, I've got seven kids now. I've got one of my kids 13th. I think he was going to the footy to celebrate. And I got us, like, if Josh. And I think he said, he dives in and out of the podcast. But if you hear this man, it was so surreal to meet a man that I've never met before, who I. Or we. Or what. HBF and RDM at the time. But HPF represented to. To. To hear firsthand how. How your life was saved, transformed, changed for. For the better, and so far, forever, eight years later. That's. That's pretty awesome, man. I sat down and just the. The look on my wife's face as well is just. Yeah, I can't. I can't quite describe it, you know, and. And. And I think, you know, it's. It's not to promote myself or HPF or anything, but I. I gotta tell you guys like, that the more I dive into this, more I realize how valuable service is. Like, I'm a servant. I'm a servant towards life. So does that mean I can't be a Viking and fucking Rip? And of course I can, of course I can. But that's part of the requirements of being the Chief. You've got to know when to show some teeth and be the Viking. You got to know when to be the Panda. But across the board, you are the Chief. And the Chief is a life of service, you know, in family, self and service. Like, in self, I'm serving like I'm a servant when I invest in myself towards the greater version of Al. So it's like Al 5.0 is going, come on, mate, hit the gym. You hit those reps. Make sure you do your recovery, get your nutrition in. You can look after me, men. You know, you're going to be 45, 55, 65 one day. Look after me. So I'm in service towards the future version of our when I invest in the circle of self, but also when I'm investing in myself, I only invest in myself so I can give more to others. And that is so true. Already given up to myself through the investment of self. So everything else is for everyone else. And same with family. And servitude is not acquiescence, submission or appeasement. Like service is having the insights and ability to provide what one needs, even if it's sometimes a little bit different to one one wants. And what one might want sometimes is support. But what one might need is, hey, here's a little bit of support. And also here's a fucking kick up the ass. Let's get up. Where are your habits? Dial that in. Get your routine and structure in order. Make sure you're saying no in these key areas of your boundaries. That in future focus and front load the little special times you have with your two children. Make sure you've got that honey enhanced fund blocked in for your wife two weeks later. Dial it in with three to four post notes. Here you go. Fucking bang. Here's the foundation, here's the strategy, here's the tactic. Let's go. I support you, but I'm here to support the future version of you, your goals and who you become. And your future version is always front and center. So it's not tough love from out, it's just knowing that when I'm talking to you, man to man, what is always front and center is the future version of who you can become. And you and I both must be accountable to that, not to where you are now. So I appreciate you and I'm sitting next to you, but we're looking at this big thing in the middle of this table which is the future version of who you are. And I'm going to focus on that. Not the man sitting next to me, but who the man can become. I just like I'm telling you, you do that, guys, you'll win regardless of the business you're in, the relationships you're in. Like I said, it's not being a panda, not being a pushover. Yes, man, but a life of servitude is one well lived. And I just, it was so cool to meet you, Josh, in person, to person and in the flesh. And I just, you know, mate, I wish you well and hopefully our paths will cross again. But mate, how awesome, like how awesome that you actually did. You did something about your situation. You bought into an energy and a pathway and a life Force that can direct that, AKA hpf. And here you are sharing a reflection nearly eight years later. That's awesome man. Let's dive into this relationship piece. These are the two core pillars now. A successful marriage in modern times. Today's world. Today's world, we're in the fight of a lifetime. But also it's a battle that's been won so many times and it's a war that can be won too. At least through what we've done with hpf. I can't speak on behalf of other services. Are we the only point of success on the planet? Of course not. I'm not ignorant and I'm not that arrogant. However, there's just levels like have you kicked the can down the road? Have you instilled lasting change? Have you instilled lasting change that also then drives evolution? Very rare that third one with most services and industries. Very, very rare. That's what we're all about though. So you know, hopefully this first piece. Wow, 14 minute intro. I don't want to keep expanding this but you know what, there's times in these episodes guys where I just take, I take the energy and not dump or express but I do truly believe there's value. If there isn't, email me and say there isn't. Just get to the fucking point. I mean I do get to the point in most things, in all things but I just wanted to share that and also give a special shout out to Josh and just really pre frame or paint the picture of why these two pillars matter but also what I'm going to be giving you. So we're building out our course off the back of the events that we've done. Don't forget we've got June, June 14th Perth. I think that's registration has just opened. I'll have to double check with the team. What's today? 1st of May I believe Rego's open. So any of you guys listening in Perth and or connected to people in Perth, please share it. Share the love. Highperformancefather.com live L I V E iperformancefather.com live and register and get your ticket today. I think we've got an early bird for maybe the next week or two but that's going to be so awesome. The Brisbane event though, what I'm going to give you some special bells and whistles now. We're building out a high performance leadership course. We're going to make it very polished and nice where we've got the entire slide deck and it's like 76 slides that I used. There's some funny slides in there, but I'll keep them all in there. The guys who went to the event, if you know, you know, right? The big, the big, big German powerhouse. Eric, Coach Eric, shout out to you, mate. And not being the butt of the joke, but just yes. Being the enhancement of the end of one of our events, it was so good. So the slide decks, the four hour workshop, the resources, I'm pulling all that together in a high performance leadership course. Now. What I'm gonna give you guys today though, is there is a part here, just looking now, that is what do women want? The answer's everything. But then it goes into 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 12 slides. And there's only a couple on each, but with these bullet points that rapid fires. Key insight, women and what they want. I'm just gonna gauge and see how we go for time. I might get through some of them today and then I might do some owls insights. But as a bonus, I'm definitely gonna hit you with some of those today just to get you thinking differently on how you can apply these two key things. What relationships need. This is one of the slides we talk about. These two pillars now. A successful marriage in modern times. These are absolutely the two pillars that you need. One is love, one is respect. That's it. The end. I hope you enjoyed this podcast episode. I'll see you in the next one. So simple, so simple. Love and respect. But is it, is it though? You know, like through, through life itself, there are so many different complexities that throws us off course from the fundamentals of love. We. But what type of love? Love is a friend, love as a mate. Like, don't want to be just mates shaking hands. Like there's a depth to the intimacy that you have now. This, this episode is going to be geared and built around you and your wife with the examples I'm, I'm giving. But essentially, of course, this is what would be valuable to relationships. So with my children, it's a different type of love. Call it intimate, call it whatever you like, but, you know, hugging and showing my kids affection. There's a different type of love with my children than there is with the coaches and the brotherhood we have on the inner circle with hpf, than there is with the members of hpf, than there is with my brothers, than there is with my mother and father, than there is with my wife. So in today we're talking about marriage, but this is universally something that you could adopt and apply across various relationships. Love and respect. Why? Why do we need both our, you know, isn't love the answer? It's one answer. It's not the answer, it's an answer. And for me, just on that note, personally, I believe love is more of a proactive showcasing of intimate value. You know, like, I love you. Okay, sorry, what does that mean? I love you. Therefore, like, that's a pretty short fucking sentence. Walk me through this. I love you. What does that mean? I'm in love with you. Love you, just not in love with you. I'm sure some of you boys have heard that before. Pretty fucking tough, isn't it? Pretty heartbreaking. Like, what the fuck does that even mean? And I don't even think the people who say that understand half the time, but deep down, subconsciously, it's true. They don't understand or they don't know how to articulate it, which then comes back to the source. Just like people saying, you know, work, life balances measured through time. They're measuring from the wrong metrics, they're using the wrong guides, the wrong points of reference. When I look at love, I look at love as an action based word, just like gratitude, love. I'm grateful for everything you've done. Well, okay, that's past tense. I love you. Okay, you're in a point in time where right now, upon reflecting in the past, whether it was a cuddle, we had sex, or making love three minutes ago, three weeks ago, I brought home some flowers two days ago, you have collated either one or a series of memories in the past to bring you to a point in the now that, that upon reflection, says I love you. So it's a really tough one, gents, because I, I just don't really believe love in its entirety anyway. I just don't believe it's an emotion I truly don't like. I. In its entirety, maybe a part of it. Maybe it's 30% emotion, 40% reflection, 30% action based in showing your love light. I'm not sure. Like, I can't. Like, these things are not opinions. This is a real. There's a real energy and undercurrent or life force to these. I'm not, I'm not, I don't. I'm not here just to spin shit. And this is always built off the back of observing, reflecting and seeing the actions and results and the stories and shares and successes and reconciliations and thriving marriages of our men. I'm only living one life. But I love this because I learned so much. I'm living through thousands of people's lives to be able to deliver this to you. So when I have love here on this slide deck, it's like, okay, let's start on that. Love is an intimate, intimate value that is felt and then shown directly and personally in the relationship. So like I said, it's a collective of a few things. Like I can feel and love you. I can express an emotion of love for you. Is it an emotion? Is it a feeling? Is it an impulse? Is it a, you know, a sensation? I believe it's more than that. And where it wanes is it's not intimate value that's been felt but then shown directly, directly in the relationship. So if a woman isn't feeling loved, and maybe you showed love at your honeymoon and up until baby number one came, but now you're three babies deep and 12 years later, so you can't just lean on the past that that long, you know, can't just say, hey, we had a great honeymoon 23 years ago. Come on, man, don't be so harsh. Hang on, that's 23 years ago. So it's intimate value that she has felt from you and then you have shown her directly in the relationship. So affection, appreciation, meeting her personal needs. I say when it comes to love, you need two things. It's like a baby. Visualize this as a baby. Could potentially done this on another podcast, but here's an updated version. Two things that you need to enhance the love for one another is alignment and investment. So think of it like your baby got a little baby, so obviously it's dependent on you to survive you and your wife. There's alignment and investment. Alignment is we need to feed our baby. So this baby represents us in our intimate relationship, right? The love that we have and continue to share and show for each other. Alignment is, hey, honey, we need to feed this baby the right stuff. Otherwise, you can try your best and put your best foot forward, but it's just not going to stick. It's not going to land. But more so to dramatize the point, alignment is feeding your baby the right thing? Because if we don't, we're going to poison it. Be very careful. Very, very careful. Don't just assume that money in the bank is love. Don't just assume that looking at your wife naked turns you on and you get rock hard in a few seconds at, hey, fucking look how much I love you. I've used that line before, but more in jest, more as a joke with the missus. Alignment. Gotta feed it the right thing or we'll poison our baby. Investment. We've got to feed. We've got to feed our baby enough times or we'll starve our baby. And that's why for me, love is an action base. It's a proactive, productive. It's a doing word or term. If you're not feeding your marriage the right stuff and you're not feeding it frequently again, the right stuff is the chief energy. Don't feed it too much fucking panda. Don't feed it too much Viking bit of everything. Women like to be told no like worth the prize, worth the fight, right? Like he. It's got to be like the hunt has to be worth the. What you capture in the hunt has to be worth the pursuit. But if the pursuit was a non event, then was the hunt even worth it to begin with? Women operate this way, whether it's her hunting, her own perspective and belief system that you're a powerful strong man that says no to everyone else but you say yes to her. But not all the time. So sometimes it's like this game or not like, but that is. But yes. Whether it's her perspective, a belief system or in real time, in your eyes, she's the one to pursue. And it's not just an end game of sex, it's the dance, it's the tango, it's the playfulness, it's the seriousness. Like hey, not fucking today. I've got things on. I can't give you the time and energy that you need. And hey, I don't agree with that. Hey, this is fantastic. Hey, what about this? And it's, it's the whole art of a relationship. When you look at love being so action based, reflection of the past and an acknowledgement in the now to then showcase in the now for the future, you need alignment and investment. So alignment is feeding the right things, investment is feeding enough. So it doesn't mean lots and lots and lots of investment with lots and lots and lots of pandering. I'm just going to give everything and do as much as I can for my wife. No, no. That's why you need both alignment and investment. Because you can invest a bucket load, but if it's the wrong stuff. Too much panda, too much, yes men, too much. Go with the flow, won't be respected. Which is the second one. But whilst respect is the second one, it holds true in both. Like this is where I love how they're so interlinked. There is a genuine respect and Appreciation inside of how much your wife loves you and how much you love her. There is a genuine level of love in how much respect your wife has for you. Going out and hunting and producing. And there is a genuine love in the respect your wife has for you. So they are interwoven, but they are also two different ideas. Entities. Absolutely. Because without love, you're just fucking housemates. Heaps of respect. Without respect, the love is extremely volatile and very hot and cold, very hit and miss. Be very careful on that. Doesn't mean love should be constant either. But there should be a flow to it. So just sitting before we go to respect and then. And then cross the two over sitting on that. If you want to have a successful marriage in the modern world, love is critical because without that, you just become housemates. You've got all these different points of attraction and desire and temptation and attention seeking, whether it's social media, other women, other men, and not even other women or other men to replace you per se in who you are, but other points of distraction and focus to replace you. Right. I'd rather watch my TV show than be with my husband. Wow. So I'm getting fucking replaced by some sort of sitcom. Are you kidding me? So this is your competition? Isn't necessarily another man. It's the hierarchical chain in which you. Or ladder in where in which you sit at a certain point of being a level of value that would warrant her desire to give you the attention and then through that build the flow of love and intimacy in a relationship. So love is an intimate value that's felt, then shown directly in the relationship. Affection, appreciation, meeting personal needs. You need alignment and investment. Are love languages good? Yeah, they're good. They're a great start. Words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, physical gifts, all of them work, but there's depth to it. Like the acts of service for my wife, it's like, hey, honey, you know, it's done so much for you. I've swept the entire driveway. You know, you said that little leaves fall on the driveway. He said that once. Three and a half years ago. Well, today's the day. I spent 12 hours sweeping the driveway. And she gets home and goes, I appreciate that. But me, dad, the house is a fucking mess. We've just had storming and flooding, and there's leaks here and here. And there's this happening here in the kid's bedroom. You haven't even put together our child's bed. And I mean, I'm just making this story up. That's that's not me. Trust me, I've put the beds together. But you know, that's, that's an act of service. Missed the mark a little bit there though. Mate. You're swept to driveway. She mentioned three years ago that doesn't really fucking matter. So love language is good, but it's a start. There's gotta be depth and personalization towards what it is that one desires to feel appreciated, to then be reciprocal in that affection. So just before we dive into respect, let's do a quick cause I don't want to. Like this is valuable for you at a foundational and even strategic point of view. But I don't want to just sit in philosophy today. I want to want to try and give you some direction on this. So what do we do al then how do I build a greater level of love with my wife? Well, I mean the guys on the inside with HPF would be well aware of the many pathways that we take. But for me, first and foremost, a big thing is really just seeking that clarity. It's really, really important and just gaining an understanding on the sensations and feelings that they desire. So there's two points to this. One is what is the direct connection you can have to the sensations and feelings that they desire that you can influence. And then what are the peripheral touch points? This is a bit respect too, but, but as a primal man and as a sexual mate, what are the peripheral points? Because some. I know this seems a bit odd and I'm not here to discredit women either. And I'm not saying she's only with you so no one else can have you. But sometimes it's not just what women want. It's what women, what other women have that women want. And they know that they you, if there's a woman listening to you know that you know that deep down every woman, there's a perception of a threat of status or possession being taken away. Even a perception not even real. Every woman will turn against every other woman without a doubt. That's how they're wide. It's their cave. They're the mama bear. So you're not her possession per se. However, there's two points here. What's the one direct point that I can have with their feelings and sensations and desires that I can provide as their sexual partner or intimate mate? And then also what's the peripheral value that I can do? That is painting a picture without any effort directly correlated towards her. So they're the two things. I want you to focus on this before we Move to respect. First one, what's really understanding what floats her boat, you know? We're a luminous slow cooker and we're a microwave. Press the button and off we go. And I think that's awesome. Like, I've got no issue with romancing my wife, and I enjoy that part, too. But also, like, I enjoy. And it's not even in a sexual manner, but I enjoy how quickly my wife can turn me on. Like, I love that. As a man, you should honor that. I've got no issue being a fucking microwave. I think it's great. It's awesome. I enjoy it. Slow cooks are pretty good too, though, right? So keep it above the belt. Not that I'm saying your wife's a meal, but slow cookers are good as well. So seeking clarity, what they need. And you sort of already know the answer. Like, you don't have to sit down and say, hey, honey, what turns you on? I just listen. Listen to where she's at. Like, I look at probably if we're going to split this a little bit on the direct input, it probably goes with the direct and the peripheral, what's chewing up. Here's the thing. First, you need bandwidth and space. And then there needs to be an equal or shared permission to engage, right? You don't need her permission, she doesn't need yours. It's almost like you both give each other permission. First one is bandwidth. So what's really stressing my wife out? What's really draining her physically, mentally, what's draining her emotionally? What's pulling her away? Where can I come to the party and have a direct influence that frees up her physical, mental and emotional bandwidth? And if I can do that without any expectation, need or return, I can put her in a more stable state instead of fight or flight. Especially with mothers, right? Look at what they have to handle, man. Pretty fucking tough. Whether they're working or not. So I can free up her bandwidth so she's not in a state of chronic stress, fight or flight? Because I'm telling you, mate, while they're a slow cooker, it's either fucking turned on at the PowerPoint or it's not. And if it's not turned on, she's never going to get fucking aroused. I don't care if it's just before that time of the month and they're ovulating, it will not happen. It won't. She won't even share it with you. And she'll have that driving nature and that almost like the desire deep down in her lower abdomen that just craves and wants that because that's hormonally what the egg release is saying, man. She even if she's aware of it, she still won't be able to honor it. Can't too much in the head, not in the heart and not in the feels. So what can I do to free up mental bandwidth? So what I do with my wife for it's just a range of very simple things. Whether it's organizing honey and tan sometime and then building little things that lead up to that says little anticipation, excitement, just flicking, just sort of pulling on those little chords, those little chords of excitement, curiosity, mystery, playfulness, teasing. I might send her a picture of an eggplant, might follow it up of peaches, cob of corn, long loaf of bread. Like what is all of the above rapid fire like. And I might do that. And then she messaged me back, but I'm working and then I just ignore her for like four hours. And I don't do it to play with her. I just thought, well I've sent that off, I've planted the seed and then I'm back to work for the next four hours. So it's like almost this intent without attachment that makes me all good either way that's even more attractive. But I do all these little things that you know, just create those little strokes as we're leading towards honey enhanced time which doesn't have to be bound by sex either. And at the same time. Yeah, look, I'm going to organize dinner tonight. Like they want you to take control. What happened somewhere? Where were we? I was somewhere in Melbourne. So when, when, when I'm in holiday mode, like I have no issues being the panda and puppy dog of the household. Everyone do whatever you want. Yep, I'll go along for the ride. I've got my own physical strength and presence to you know, to play and engage and still hold my own. But be a full panda for this. And typically in holidays and something happened and I think it might have been organizing maybe dinner and a breakfast. There's like a, I don't know, 24 hour organization need to happen over the next night, day, lunchtime, like three or four things and there's a bit of um and ah and bit of check in with the kids which do the kids ever really know what they want and they're always up and down and you know, we're on holiday so it's like it's not a holiday. It's a change of scenery without routines. You guys know what I'm talking about. So going through this, and I already knew all the answers, but I just like with this situation. All right, okay. We've made zero traction here. So, hey, all right, look, this is what we're gonna do for dinner. We're doing this, and then tomorrow morning, we're gonna go here, and we're doing that there. That's a good range, good spread of things. Kids won't be too tired. We're gonna have some play time here. You'll have some downtime there, Corinne. I'll go play with the kids out the back. There's a tennis court here in this place that we're staying at, and. And she'll be right, good. You can have some downtime. We're gonna have this type of food. We'll have Italian here for dinner. We'll go out for their breakfast. We'll go do this thing the next morning. Okay, all sorted. She just went, oh, my God. I thought she was gonna jump me there. I just pissed myself laughing. I was like, it's so easy. It's so easy, man. But it blew her away. Now, you don't have to control or dominate her or the household, but every single decision you don't make that is one that either you and. Or her and. Or you together could make is another one that she has to make on her own. I'd probably replay that point and write that down, because that really is. But you gotta do it from the position of chief. So what did I do? I was a panic, going with the flow, and I just, all right, cool. Gotta step up here. It wasn't Viking, but I stepped up as a chief. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. What does this mean for you? How are they gonna interpret it? So, of course, guys, there is layers to this, okay? When you present someone with information, what does this mean for them? What's in it for them? What's their perspective? Not, hey, we're gonna do all of this so that I don't have to listen to you guys deciding things anymore. Like, that's a very selfish approach, right? It's like, hey, why don't we do this? This. Because that's going to be for Corinne. That's going to be for the kids. That's going to be for me. I'll go. I might go do a gym session here, but I'll do that after. I'm going to organize it. So it's. What's in it for everyone, and how can everyone win? So when you carry that, I'm removing her mental bandwidth, her Emotional bandwidth. So physical time, sorry, physical, mental and emotional bandwidth, you're freeing that up. So that's really important when it comes to love. You've got to free her up. You've got to give her space and room to step into her feminine and get those juices flowing. The juices of emotional reflections and memories and painting the fantasy and the picture in their head. Remember, they're all in there, not in their. In their head like they're all in their mind. So your mind is like a collective view of your consciousness. Your mind isn't necessarily your brain. It's a collective of consciousness, your thoughts, your beliefs, your emotions, your attachment to things, your relationship, status or standing at that point in time. You know, not married, not married, married, not married. Every, every fleeting moment. But the status of how your. The health and life force of your relationship, all of that. Like, even as I'm saying this, I've actually got my eyes closed visualizing it. All of that is like the flow of a woman. That is a cold hard fucking stop. If they are looking after all the logical chronological order of things. Timetables and schedules and children and driving and putting in park, putting into reverse, checking the side view mirror, putting my blinker on, like all these little things. And they're not. Women can be logical too. I'm not saying they should never be logical. Dear Lord, could you imagine the accidents? The car accidents were. Go through the roof again. But look, it's the accident rate for women drive. Women drivers. I'm sorry, I don't know if there's females listening to this, but. I was joking. But look, you want to remove the logical masculine points of energy where you can. Where you can. You're at work. Kids are naughty. She's got a discipline. Of course. Like there are going to be points where you as a man can be feminine too, which is possibly a large makeup of the panda, but. But nonetheless we carry both masculine and feminine. But what can you do to keep her in her most in her state of homeostasis? The longest, the most, the best. So there's that and then there's also. How can I do that in a way, like I mentioned before with the eggplant emojis and all other shit in a teasing flirtatious, deeper than a sincere considerate friend who just wants to help you. You. No, no, I'm your husband. I'm here to be intimate, primal, sexual, which doesn't always mean sex and connected. Where we are two human beings, we're connecting on a deeper level than any other human Beings we have a relationship or engagement with on the planet. Then the second one. So hopefully that helps you guys. The second one is the peripheral value, so it's not so much respect, which is the. The. The external value, which I'll walk through shortly, but the second one is the peripheral value. So what makes me. Again, sometimes a woman wants what other women have. And if the woman who has knows that she'll hold on to what she has. That. That felt like a bit of riddle, but it's actually true. So the fact that I'm a. I'm an attractive, strong, powerful, muscular man. Very confident, very certain in my approach, you know, just. Just being. It's not a facade. This is who I am. This is how I operate. Very, very sincere, very playful, but very firm, healthy nose, strong boundaries. Pretty well, at least I think anyway, sometimes. But not really the events, although the boys laughed. So thank you, Brisbane boys, you laughed at all of my poor quality jokes. But yeah, I'm a funny guy, you know, I can be quite witty and not folly. I don't want to be a fucking fool. Too many guys out there are fools which masquerades through all your humor, your hidden pain. I think that's fucking stupid. But yeah, I can be a funny guy and humorous and silly and so I can be all things which sometimes my wife wants one of all of those things. All of all of those things, or none of all those things. And that's the skill of a relationship, right? I can be silly and funny at the wrong times. I can be very sincere at the wrong times. I, you know, so it is the art of timing. My wife sees this strong, powerful, attractive man, goes to the gym, looks after his health, you know, does his hair, brushes his teeth. Like just look after myself. Carries himself with confidence, certainty, peripherally. None of that. That has nothing to do with her. Everything I just said, all of the traits, that's what makes me a man, you know, family, self and service. I go out and I provide for my family, you know, driving this business, this mission, this organization, you know, there's. There's respect there, but there's also, wow, look at this. Look at this guy. He's ambitious, he's building, he's growing, he's in great shape. He's very confident, he's very certain. He's amazing with my children, like, they're my kids. That's what she's saying. Like, that's what your wife's saying to your children. These are my kids. And look at what he's doing with them. I'm playing with them, tickling them, making them laugh, throwing them up and down. But then also disciplining them and supporting them. And not that, I mean, geez, it wouldn't be good for my kids. But if, if disciplining my children turn my wife on, my kids would be in trouble. But, but no, like sometimes it's. Now here's a man who takes charge, right? That's what I meant. This is a man taking charge of the situation because I can't deal with the, the screaming and the fighting in the bath time right now. So she sees all of that. That has nothing to do with her. But there's a real primal element to wow, he's my fucking man. You know, the mother, I say this before plenty of times before. You know, the mama bear in the cub with her cubs in the cave. You know, any grizzly comes, he's going to sort it out. Whether it's a friendly or a threat. He's the fucking man. He's the protector and provider. And that shit turns me on. And it turns me on so genuinely because he's not even doing any of that for me. He's doing it just because he fucking is. He's a powerful man, you know, he's. What did I say on a meme the other day? He's a double alpha. Me like I've never used the term alpha but Jesus. Some funny going around on that term. I'll tell you. You're just a man who has together and you're a leader and you go and dominate in family, self and service. But you do it because that's who you are and how you operate as that individual, as that man that, that when I say peripheral value man that can drive her intimate value for you which is felt and then shown. Oh no, no. Other woman's having him. He's mine. He's a keeper. I picked the winner here. So that's love. And that's to give you some of the principles or I guess strategies around that for sure. How can I understand their feelings, their desires, their wants and needs and also be able to provide for those sensations that she might have for me in freeing up her bandwidth so she can express herself back into her homeostasis in being in her feminine and then direct that feeling of calm desire free flowing towards a man who provided that you and doing that in a way where you're also backing that up with the primal intimate sexual touch points on communication, connection, tease, playfulness and then backing that up. So that was the left that was the one side with the peripheral value of you just being a man that just oozes those pheromones of what she looks for. They're two points that I would give you advice on if you wanted to increase the love between you and your wife. Then there's the other side, respect. And the reason why these crossover is because the peripheral value can absolutely be. And I spent a lot of time here on love more than I will on respect. But the peripheral value that goes into respect as well will also ignite. So it's almost like that. It's like. What do they call it is a flint. Like those flint sticks, you know, it's like. It's like you've got that and you've got the kindling and it changes. Sometimes that little. That that little flint, the flint rock is respect and the kindling is love. Boom. Let's get this fire going, baby. Sometimes that, that flint rock or that stick is love and the kindling's respect. You need both. Without one, the other's useless. Like, what's the point of having kindling without some way to spark and light it? What's the point of having a lighter if you've got nothing to light? So it takes me guys over to respect where this is absolutely paramount in the modern world. Why? Because, yes, the game has changed with respect to our forefathers who've had it much worse than us in many ways and unbelievably simpler in many other ways. You are up against not only other men, but other women who are screaming, screaming echo chamber or social media, screaming at your fucking wife that she deserves to be on some sort of fucking throne without anything in full entitlement and thousands of men just fucking grovelling the ground shooting like it's disgusting. It's disgusting. It's. It's. For me anyway. I think it's fucking satanic. But maybe that's another day for another session. That's what we're up against. So this is why, fellas, the game has changed. The other episode. Be a four to one man. You'll love that. Please dive into it. It's really important. You've got two options. Be the man that you are, be a one man and you won't get the one. Or you can level up. Love and respect applied across the board and eyes will come front and center back to you, and you are the four to one man. So is it harder than it potentially needs to be? Of course it is. Of course it's harder than it needs to be. But what must Change. So the needs to be is no longer present. You and me don't have that control. We're not going to be able to change it. There'll be the Internet, there'll be social media, there'll be divorced women telling your fucking wife that she deserves better. And life's amazing. I'm so free to do whatever I want now. I can go to the clubs and party, blah, blah, and I get a few more dozen fucking dicks up me. But they're behind closed doors fucking crying as they're wiping their makeup away and looking for the next Botox injection schedule that's coming up next week. It's sad, man. It's safe for men. Men who don't show up, they end up fucking destroyed. What do you expect, man? You're not turning up and life isn't fair. You might be a really good dude who fucking got destroyed. You might be a really genuine woman who got done over on, but it's fucking hard. So what do you do? Well, you bounce back. You become a 4 to 1. And you do what's required to put the odds in your favor in the best possible fashion. And through doing that consistently, regardless of what happens externally of you, you will win. You will find the right person, you'll reconcile with the right person, you'll build the life and you'll, you'll get your just desserts in a good way. This is why you need all of it. This is why you need respect too. Respect is external value that is seen then shown in the relationship. So love is intimate value that's felt and shown directly personally to one another. Affection, appreciation, personal needs. Respect is external value that's seen and then showing that value in the relationship. Bit different to affection, appreciation, personal. It's more admiration for someone's abilities, recognizing qualities, achievements. It was part of the book. John Maxwell 21 Laws of Leadership. Really, really good book. He has a law there, I think it's law 17, not sure. It's called the law of buy in. And I guess in some ways respect is that right? Like it's. People don't respect what they don't value. So there could be someone like a, you know, an AFL player who's on the team that you hate, but he's an absolute gun and you hate him, but you respect his value because he just kills your team every time and he kicks seven, eight, nine goals and he's a machine and so on and so forth. So law of buying, he had three things. Character, competence, commitment. I think it's important here when it comes to respect, you know, respect is external value that's seen and shown in the relationships. Admiration for someone's abilities, recognizing qualities and achievements. So this is why the crossover exists. Why? Well, my. Why my. How much wood, Wood, wood, chuck, chuck. My, my wife really respects their respect. Throughout being an elite athlete across a couple of different codes or sports, I've still maintained my body, my health. I'm in great shape, I'm disciplined. I respect myself like they respect you when you respect yourself. I say no to certain people, places and things so I can go to the gym or go for my walk or eat that meal. And she respects that. But then also when she looks at this sweaty body doing yard work and she also craves and desires the primal element. That's what I mean when I say crossover in peripheral. Value that first part with love. She respects that external value seen and shown, an admiration for someone's abilities. She respects the fuck out of me and my ability to raise the kids. Nothing to do with her, but everything to do with her because they're her kids too, right? She respects that I've built HPF from fucking nothing to what is going to be a global movement next year with the enhancement of technology and spreading our reach out. Like, it's just. She really respects the ambition of the amount of time, times we should have died in the earlier days, but didn't, and my resilience and persistence to overcome that and my grit and hustle and grind. And yeah, it's an admiration for someone's abilities, their qualities and achievements. But there's three key things. Character, trust and integrity. Like, I was, I was a man who had faulty integrity. I was an extremely integral man and built great trust with certain people in certain situations for certain things. But man, my spokes were out of alignment on my bicycle and that's what led to HBF being born, my marriage falling apart because I was not living a wholesome life of integrity, just pockets, just parts. So why would there be trust? If someone doesn't trust your character, you've got nothing. Every single man who's come through the gates of hpf, or even you guys who aren't members who listen to this, there's a level of trust and integrity you sense and feel from me. Otherwise, why would you give your time, why would you give your time and energy you'll never get back? Well, the reason why is because you know the value exchange is worth it, whether you're sitting in the car, going for a walk or doing nothing. I know what I'm going to get in this 30, 40, 50 minutes is going to be more valuable than the time I would have invested somewhere else, which is then going to catapult and launch me towards a different way of thinking, believing, operating and being in the immediate future. That's a valuable exchange, man. You wouldn't make that exchange with me if there wasn't a level of trust and integrity in my character and how I operate. So that's really important. Like it's our first value. Be a man of your word. So can your wife count on your word? Is your character one that upholds trust and integrity? Or have you faltered too often by through the perception of or the fear of conflict? You've spread yourself thin, you've over committed, you haven't followed through and you haven't done what you said you would do. But you didn't want the conflict. You didn't want to say no to your wife, you didn't want to put up that boundary. But then it's burned you. And that's tough too. I've done that too, man. That's tough too because you're scratching your head going, oh, fuck me, why did I even, why did I even commit to that? I only did it because I knew it would be good for you. And now I'm getting in trouble with some good intentions, unfortunate outcome. Then there's competence. What's your track record? Do you produce like, man, pretty, pretty hard for me to sit here or was pretty hard for me to sit here like in the early days. Lillian's just been born 2019, looking to sell the gym, go in on hpf. This online thing Quinn had no idea about. What do we have at the time, maybe maybe 80 or 100 members, I don't know. But it's like, yeah, not, you know, total through the program at that time would have been about that. That, you know, and yeah, we're going to make it, baby. Like hard. Hard for her to see that. But I'd been building the character. We had love. I was building my character and I was showing sustained commitment, which is the third one, which means there was wiggle room. Right. It's like sliding scales. There's a bit of wiggle room for the competence that wasn't quite there yet, but also the competence. Knowing her since I was 17, she was 15. Was well, what is a track record? Can he produce well? Yeah, he can. He was a fat kid who became an elite athlete. Athlete. He went from nothing to first grade rugby league squads in 18 months. He went from a shoulder reconstruction to CrossFit regionals internationally in 12, 10, 16 months. Like so. So this is the thing too. This is why I talk about not only peripheral value at a primal level that's sexually attractive, but also peripheral value that's respected. When you have track records in other areas, it can help, not compensate, but it can enhance your position. It doesn't mean if you're fit with abs, it's going to make you a better lover or she's going to respect you more to want to be in the bedroom with you whilst they both cross over as opportunities. You should never be obsessive in one point. You do it just because that's what you do. It's who you are, it's how you operate. It's your standards, it's your discipline that's important. Competence. What is your track record, man? Has it been again, I haven't been a man of my word. The trust and integrity has waned. I've been up and down. I haven't really been producing much. I've produced a lot in the area of financials, but then other areas I haven't been able to produce, I haven't produced in the area of love. Like this is where it really does cross over. I haven't produced in the areas of listening to her needs, following through, paying attention, being present with the kids. She. She tracks all of that, man. Hey, I'm gonna have some special time with the kids. She's in the kitchen, your back's face to her, but she can see, sort of. You're on your phone and you can't see when she checks. So you turn around every now and then. Oh, she's just looking at the pot, stirring the pasta. But then she'll have a couple of glances. Ah, okay. He's on his fucking phone when he said he'd do special time with the kids. Now, that hasn't happened to me, but I'm just giving an example of if you're gonn time being present with your kids. But you weren't. She banks that, man. Alarm goes off, you hit snooze, she rolls her. Hey, what was that sound? Oh, nothing, nothing. Go back to bed. Obviously you remembered last night, you told her you were gonna wake up early and go for that run. Oh, yeah, no, she just rolls over, she fucking bangs that mate. She's banking it. Ah, as a character, he's tired, so he hit the snooze button, went back to sleep. I'm telling you boys, you have no fucking idea the amount of runs on the board and why? Well, it's not their fault. It's a defensive protective mechanism. What do all human beings need? Well, what they desire. Don't know if they need it, but what they desire is certainty. I want to know where I stand. That's why when you start leveling the fuck up and dominating and then things are great with the Mrs. Intimacy, everything comes flying in. You go through the red hot marriage playbook or you're in HPF and things have just turned around. All of a sudden it's like, hey, this is weird. Like, we had a great month. Everything's turned around. My wife's like, this is amazing. Blah, blah. But it's six weeks later now and she's doing these weird things. She's angry, she's resentful. Of course she is. She's fucking testing you, Ma. One, through your growth and evolution, you're highlighting potential discrepancies in their ambition to grow and become more as a human. But two, how do they know this is real? Why? Better test the patterns of old. I need to know where I stand better. The devil you know. I'd rather have a man that I don't fucking like, but I know exactly what to expect. And this man who's just over the moon, unbelievable, completely trans. It can't be true. Let me prove it isn't true because I'd rather suffer in the fucking misery of the known than step into the unknown of this man who's becoming a beautiful 2.0. I'm telling you, fellas, what I'm giving you now is pure rapid fire from the subconscious. Like, this is legit. And it's what I see every time. And women listening to this, you know this and don't change it. That's who you are. But also understand that when the track record is proven, you need to get your in order as well and trust the man. Because without that, why would you ever change anything once? Why would you ever change anything more than once? Like, it's. It's not once more than once. It's like, oh, I tied my shoelaces when I was 6 years old and they untied and I tripped over them. Oh, cool. Don't wear shoes for the rest of your fucking life. Like, can you see the insanity here? But this is what happened. As we get older, this is what happens. We become more jaded. It's like, okay, fool me once, shame on. Shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. But it's like, yeah, but never again. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not true. True leopard doesn't change its spots. Yeah, lucky we're not leopards. We're human beings, we can change. We change all the time. The question is, what are you changing into? So this is a really valuable lesson for you men as well. If your wife's not letting it go, if she's struggling, just build love and respect again and play the longer game. If I gave you a 100% fucking run rate that says, hey, 100% chance of success, have you and your wife reconciling, but it's going to take you four years, three months and 24 days, are you still all in? Absolutely, I am, yeah, of course. Because you know, it's a fucking guarantee if I gave you 18 months, if I gave you nine years. So don't complain over six weeks. Just understand that's their makeup, that's what they do. They're testing your character, they're testing your competence, they're testing your commitment. They're going to try to pull back you. They're going to try and pull you back to Steve O. 1.0, Andrew 1.0, James 1.0. Sorry for the Steve, Andrew and James listening to this, but Alex, 1.0, man. My wife, she crin's pretty good now, like it's been many years, so she doesn't really. She doesn't test me back to the Alex of old. She tests me on my ambition and growth. So. Oh, you really want to grow. You really want to get a six pack by your 40th he let me get some Portuguese tarts from Baker's Delight, honey. Motherfucker, get that shit out of here. Competence, track record, can he produce? They will test that. And commitment, does he follow through? Can I count on you? I'm going to invest in me for you. You as long as you can invest in you for me. And that's how it should be. Hey, Corinne, do the best that you can for you so that I'll get the best out of you and I'll do the best they can for me. Which means family, self and service. That doesn't mean three circles and they're all titled. Corinne, it's family, self and service. You play one part in my life. It's a monstrous part, it's a beautiful part, it's a lucky part, we're blessed. But also one part, not all parts. And fellas, this is the chief that must be required for you to maintain not only your level of personal respect, but for you to build. This is not on what she Sees in you. Respect is interesting, right? Respect is like a byproduct of what you've already achieved inside of yourself. Respect is external value seen. So respect has nothing to do with your wife. It's, have you built your character and developed your trust and integrity in oneself and everything else around you? You and peripherally to your wife and then directly to your wife. Have you built competence inside of yourself and how you operate as a man for yourself and for everyone around you, work, children and for your wife. Have you showcased commitment, followed through, where people can count on you? You can count on you first, inside of yourself, inside of everyone else around you, including your service, business or place of work and your children, and then your wife. Character and competence, commitment in oneself, in those around. Boom. Of course your wife's going to see that. How could she not? And then she challenges it to be like, well, honey, I appreciate you feel that way. Their feelings. Have a look at Bill and Andrew and mum and dad and your mum and dad and little Timmy. And you're the common denominator. They're all seeing one thing, you're seeing something else. Time enables that. But if you hit all three, you've got respect. So they're the two things that make a marriage really thrive and flourish. Love and respect. Without love, I mean, without both of them, you're fucked. But without. This has been a powerful episode. Lots of F bombs. And appreciate you staying with me on this one. It's a very important one which comes with, I guess, more passion and more swearing. But without both, yes, you're screwed. If you just have love and no respect, very turbulent, very up and down, you might have great sex. I don't know, you might not. You might have great other things, but it's very unstable. Turbulence. The best way to describe it. So all of the men with European wives, the Italian women, you need both, man. You need both. But I could say that I'm half Italian, but yes, Italian women know exactly what I'm talking about. Or those married to them just respect the line, where's the love, man? She may as well be your brother. Your brother from another mother. Like, it's not. Is that what you're looking for? It's not worth it. You can find that somewhere else. There are so many people you can build a relationship with with respect and maintaining that. What's the word? What's a really unfortunate. But associate, of course. Let's have lots of associates. You can have lots of associates in your life. Friendships. And there's respect. But is that what you want in your wife. And I'm telling you now, regardless of again, remember her mental bandwidth, emotional, physical bandwidth, the lack of desire with and for your life. Like she does not want that either. I guarantee you man, she's shut up shop. It's been three months, three years. Like I guarantee you she does not. She is just closed off so much more and through that she isn't even aware. It's a self defense mechanism, subconsciously of the punishment she's giving herself. Because that's not her true feminine either. I'm telling you, women don't want it either. I'll love you, not in love with you. Ships in the night. We're just mates and friends and flatmates instead of lovers. They do not want that at all, at all. Otherwise as soon as there was a dip and there was a disconnect between the love and affection that was there, that'd be it. But that's not it, is it? Otherwise affairs wouldn't exist. So without love, all you are, are mates. That's all you are. Without respect, there's no stability, there's no continuity, there's no congruence between where you are today and where you could be tomorrow. Which then that really strains the level of love you have and the sustainability a successful marriage in modern times requires. These two pillars, I'm telling you, if you apply them both, everything will change and it will change quickly. And you'll get tested and they will try to bring you back to default. But you can not let that happen. You must be unshakable. You must be unbroken, unbreakable. Don't buy into the tests, the bullshit. Don't listen to their words. Love women, but sometimes their words don't match their intent. They're testing you. I want you to think about that for a second. If a woman says, hey, love you, not in love with you. I'm over. And you're like, oh, okay, oh, fair enough. Well, let's. I mean that's sad, but let's. Fuck me. Haven't you just failed the biggest test? She said one line, one sentence, said 53 characters across, seven different words and that's it. You fucking folded. Shit. If that makes him cave, I can't imagine. When the grizzly comes around the corner, I need some protection for me and my cubs in the cave. Fuck me. So please mate, understand that doesn't mean you chase forever. Hey, no, I know what you're saying, it's not true. I'll win you back, you watch. No. No fucking way, mate. You maintain your Personal dignity and respect. Okay, that might be your belief systems right now, but I'm becoming version 2.0, so who knows? I don't need six months. I'll tell you in six weeks whether I want in on this marriage or not. And if I do, well, great news. We can come together and work things out. If not, well, then thank you for initiating this move. And I can't wait for the second half where you can build and do whatever you want and I'll do whatever I want. And then what do they do? They watch. They watch you. They watch you and your body changes. They watch you in your business sense and acumen around service, your time management, how you operate with the kids, the new words you've learned. Where did he learn these new words? What's this Red hot marriage playbook or somewhere else. Doesn't have to be that. Like, that's been amazing. I can't believe the amount of people. If I can. Because I've created the resource. But mate, that's so awesome. All these new words. There's a different. There's a different aura. I must test. I must. I must find out what's going on. I'm curious. Boom. Game on. It makes me laugh, man. Like, to the point where I've seen well beyond 12 months separation. Marriage has come together. Together. Bang. Just like that. It cracks me up. No laughing matter. But, you know, it's like women with that little emoji of a coffee cup, you know, Women, women, how good. What a beautiful gift. Without them, there'd be a lot of emotion and meaning in life that would be lost. I truly respect and honor women and the incredible place and role they have in this world. The hard part is through society and consumerism and. And I guess if you want to look at the source, you always follow two things. Control and money, which can lead to that. Yeah, they've been led astray. And unfortunately, as human beings as we are, there's dopamine and different happy hormones, oxytocin, serotonin. Like, there are different things that pull us into a state of different paradigm shifts and belief systems and views and emotions that unfortunately don't have your best interests at heart. Next thing you know, they're watching and their whole algorithm has changed on Instagram that shows all these divorced women living the best fucking life and ever. Wow. Tough man or woman listening to this. The family nucleus matters so much because when that's gone, you have nothing. Why? What's a collective of the external outcomes that come off the back of your internal Drive and your own leadership, your actions, what you stand for, how you operate in family, self and service. That's why I love my children. High performance father doesn't define me. My kids don't define me. My wife doesn't define me. Being an athlete doesn't define me. Me. All of it together creates a life that I choose to consistently pursue. Where is there actually a point in time where there is an identity and. Or self or there is a living force that's driving through in a constant state of experiencing and leading a life worth living? Like when you look at it, it's a bit weird not to spin you out as we wrap this up. It's a bit weird, isn't it, when you look at it that way. But. But it's true. It's like, is there any one point where this is who I am because who I am keeps changing as opposed to this is what I represent and who I choose to be when I wear these hats. Conscious of time. Conscious of time. Let's back this up with an owl's insights. I'm just looking at these bullet points. Sorry not to. Not to not be a man of my word. I will absolutely get these to you. But I'm just looking at these bullet points. I've covered a lot of them today, but they're going to be pretty powerful just as a, just as a revamp or, you know, just rehashing what we've gone through today. Let me leave it for that. I understand some of you guys love the insights. Some of you guys love the longer episodes. But if I go through these insights, that's going to push us out to about an hour and a half, an hour 45. So let's leave it for the next one. I'll try and get that out to you ASAP. I think piggybacking off this episode, these next 12 slides I'm going to walk you through will be incredible. I'll give you updates on when the high Performance Leadership course is available too. We're currently building that out just to pimp it out. So it's really nice. And the user experience for you guys is I'm going to roll this out as an option for everyone but like the marriage playbook. But obviously the members of the men who attended the events, you guys will get it on the house. But yeah, let's wrap that up. I'll do. I'll do Al's insights with other bullet points. Look, I hope this serves you well, guys. I don't want to overload you as well. I'm very conscious of that. Not that you're dumb or ignorant, it's just this is, this is simple but also high level stuff that comes through me very naturally because this is where I live and spend a lot of my time. Whether it's relationship with oneself, relationship in family, self or service. But focusing today on the marriage. I know you'll be successful, I really do. And even if success means, hey, it was never fucking meant to be from this point, not ever, but from this point. And it could be tough things we don't control, man, could be menopause and other issues. Could be a mother dying and they just fucking change. And it, man, this is a, this is. Life is a tough game. It's not fair. It's why we talk about being 4 to 1. But success could mean that you have everything lined up up in a beautiful fashion that is sustainable for the next 40 years of your life with your future next queen, mate. Well done. What are 40 years that awaits you? How awesome is that? So you know, it's. It's the intent. Without attachment. Yeah, I want my marriage to last, but I don't need my marriage to last. And if we can build you to become that, the irony of this is you become so rock solid though you can wash your hands and be okay with what will be. That energy is exactly what 99 of the time actually draws the woman back in and creates reconciliation. And that's the funniest part when it comes to applying these two pillars and you building that certainty inside of yourself. I've said it before, sometimes the greatest way to save a marriage is to temporarily end it and be at peace with it. But I hope this serves you well. Love and respect. These are the two pillars. You adopt and apply these. Love, intimate value felt and then shown directly in the relationship. Alignment and investment. Alignment, investment free upper mental bandwidth. Apply those little points of primal and sexual energy and tease and playfulness. All different elements that float the boat of the emotions of a woman. And the. Then the other part is, you know, peripheral value primarily and sexually as a man because of how you carry yourself. And then the respect where this man is of a high level of value even outside of our relationship, which makes me want him even more inside of a relationship through your character, your competence, commitment, you pull those two together, mate, you got nothing to worry about, that's for sure. Hope this serves you well. See you in the next one. Al's insights. I'll rapid fire those key bullet points around the small. Real tactical stuff. So it'll actually tie in well with this very tactical stuff around women and relationships and connections. Action. And I'll. Yeah, I'll do that one shortly. And. And that'll go really, really well with this one. Take it, guys. Have an amazing day or afternoon. I'll see you soon. Cheers. Well, that wraps up another episode. And just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you. And then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, things, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart. And there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes four or five times and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. And also, if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You've listened to it. Write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak them, believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you can remember and make sure you consistently learn and relearn what is it's true and what is it is important to you in your heart. Take care, have an amazing day night weekday weekend, and I'll see you for another one soon. Cheers.