26. Lost In Space

All right, all right. Dad jokes. Dad jokes 101. Do you want a box for your leftovers? No, but I'll wrestle you for them. Oh, man, I could never keep a straight face with this stuff. Outstanding. Bit of an empty joke, though. Bit of an empty joke. To be fair. I think the real joke is that there's leftovers. Right. Because that certainly wasn't my world and still isn't. I'll generally eat until I'm completely exhausted and tired, not until I'm full. And that's something that my Italian grandmother and father and basically everyone who knew me growing up as well, used to say about me. Hello, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, and everything in between. Welcome to rdm Real Dad Movement, the podcast, the one and only. This is Big Al, Big Red coming at you. Well, not really. I'm sitting here in my office at the moment, and I'm speaking into a microphone, talking to myself. How good is technology? Right. Lost in Space. Lost in Space wasn't a bad movie when I was younger. I think it was a movie that was pretty old school. I saw the updated version. Can't remember the actors, but it'd be old now, I think, back in the 90s. But lost in Space, what does that even mean now? Well, it's about understanding that there is a period of space and time that really, it exists as an opportunity. I want you to think about this, really think about this, and understand that anytime there's a stimulus, a stimulus, situation, circumstance, energy. Energy, right? Like the energy transfers, there's a transaction that appears and we might not see it at times. And this transfer from not necessarily one human being to another, one element to another, whatever you want to call it, this. This stimulus that comes into your world, the external environment, which then becomes part of your internal environment. There's a period of opportunity, and that's what this is about. Like, this podcast is about looking and going, am I really utilizing that? Am I aware of that? Because more often than not, people are not aware of this space, and they're not aware of the opportunity that really presents itself to respond and create in life the way that you want to. Instead, you just react to life. Now think about this. I get home at a really tough day at work, and I walk in the door and Crin's had a tough day, too. The kids are going crazy. They're not going to sleep, and she's upset and throws them at me, and I instantly get triggered and I get upset, and I firmly hit back. Well, I've had a tough Day too. And back and forth, back and forth. Now there's an opportunity there. Good, bad and the ugly doesn't matter. When you are facing a certain stimulus that's coming into your environment, there's a period of time and sometimes it's so quick, guys, that's the hard part. Sometimes man, you got to be good at this. You got to that split second awareness. And there's a period in which you have an opportunity to make choices. And in this space between the stimulus and you. So send a receiver, someone is sending you energy and you're about to receive it. And then you become the sender, they become the receiver. In that period there, there is an opportunity, a moment for you to step back and have that higher level of awareness and go, okay, I'm thinking, feeling this way. I want to make this choice, I want to do this decision, I want to do XYZ right now. Because it's either pre programmed or patterned inside of you. Your conscious, your subconscious things that it's just triggering you, it's triggering you. Good or bad, doesn't matter. It's something that is putting that element of pressure, that element of this is where we're at, what are you going to do? And if you don't have that awareness, sometimes you might not make the choice that you're ultimately happy with. So understanding and recognizing this space gives you that chance. There's a guy called Dr. Adam Fraser, he's got a book called the Third Space, similar concept. Actually it's probably almost exactly the same, but in different ways and so about communicating that message clearly. And there's been many people before him that have spoken about this and looking what am I going to do? But it starts with awareness, acknowledgement. When you know that there's a space that exists here, there's things that aren't concrete, things that are not absolutes, not set in stone. You have so much more power than you think. You've got so much more control and freedom than you think. And when you do that, it opens you up to a world of possibilities, it opens up your scope of choices. And then when you look at that scope of choices, you can select the ones that then reopen another scope of states. And when you look at the states that present themselves of who you want to be and how you want to be on the inside, that opens up a set and a collective of experiences. And when you look at the collective of experiences, you can then go, cool, I'm going to pick that one, I'm going to pick that one. I'M going to pick that one. And then it's a rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. And then you deliver that, you action that we already actioning it through your thoughts, feelings, emotions, what's going on inside. But instead of being triggered and react, acting, you're proactive and creating. And when you do that, you can diffuse any situation. You can enlighten any situation. Like, I might come home in a great mood and Corinne's not in a good mood. And I'm not saying she's always grumpy as well, by the way. Sorry, honey. If you're listening, these are pure examples. And when you look at this, you can go, okay, well, what can I do to be the leader here, to come from this position of strength, position of power, and ultimately making the right decision and the right choice? Let's go one layer deeper. What is the right decision and right choice? Ah, that's the magic that's on you. But know that there is a choice. That's the magic. That's the magical moment that you can have in going, okay, what am I going to do about it? I want this balance, this homeostasis. I want this stability again, this leveling out, this equilibrium, whatever you want to call it, I want to have this in play. I'm grumpy, I'm upset. What am I going to do about it? They're grumpy, they're upset. What am I going to do about it? It's ownership, guys. Ownership and taking responsibility over something that's really a shared environment. And I'll talk about this in a second as well, and how this can apply to parents in a big, big way, really, but mostly everyone. When you look at how this works and when you do that, you can be a leader. There's leaders in all of us sometimes. Stella is leading the family. We might both get out of bed and have a tough night with Lillian, and she might come up a bundle of energy, joy, do certain things that one way or another are going to influence us and open up the scope of having these blinkers on where we're just sitting this way, we're triggered this way, we're feeling this way. So because I feel it, that's it. It has to be that way. It doesn't. It doesn't have to be that way. So it doesn't matter how old you are, what your position is, or the dynamic of the relationship. Work at home, family, within yourself, in your own company. And this is my next point I wanted to make because a lot of relationship strengthening Rapport building and ultimately living a higher level of being with love and fulfillment and happiness, more often than not can result off the back of having that awareness. Because you know what? There's nothing wrong with selfing having a level of selfishness without the detriment of others around you. But so many times we walk into someone else's environment, you're carrying baggage. You're carrying shit. Like these shackles that are holding you back. I've had a horrible day's work. Or you walk in the door on the phone and you're still in this state. You're all buzzed up, you're in this rat race, this spinning wheel, and the mouse feels flogged, and you're that mouse. And you're walking in, you're carrying all that with you. Like, how dare you? How dare you walk into someone else's environment when they were there first? A shared environment, that doesn't matter if you're the man of the house, it means shit. You walk into that and you carry that baggage. That to me is selfishness. That to me is ignorance. A lower level of awareness, a lower sense of love and leadership, not just for yourself, but for your family. And we all do it. We've all been guilty of it. I make a conscious effort not to now. Yeah, it's my home. Doesn't matter that Stella's three, Lillian's four and a half months old. But what energy am I bringing into this? What energy am I carrying through to my family? What level of leadership and presence am I ultimately bringing in? Sometimes One of our dads, Benny Bryle, talks about this in our group. He said he sits in the car sometimes before he walks in the house because he's had a tough day of work. We've all got tough days. Good on you, man. Like, that's leadership to me. That's not isolation. It's okay. What state do I want to be in that ultimately is going to put me in a position where this transition, the space between what's in front of me. Because sometimes you're the receiver, you're the sender as well, not just the receiver. What am I going to do to get on the front foot and be a true leader for my family? And for him, it's taking some time out for himself before he walks in. That's awesome, man. Good for you. For me, I'd be playing music, podcasts, playlists, anything. He does the same. I'm sure a lot of you do, but you're not aware of it. When you have that higher level of awareness. It's almost like these godlike powers or I don't know if that's the word to use, but this higher sense of being and going, hey, hey, man, I can pull back. I can pull away from what I'm thinking, feeling my emotions, my triggers, my initial thoughts, what I want to do, what I want to action, all these things that my body just goes boom, that's it. This is a stimulus. Hey, it's not exactly this one, because today is August 29, and this happened again though, on August 10. But it feels about the same. So why don't we do the same thing? Nah, man, don't do that. Don't do that. No one wins in that, in that scenario, Even if it's a good thing, still no one wins. Because you're lacking depth. You're not looking and reading what's in front of you. And know that when you are the receiver guys, don't listen to simply respond, listen, open your eyes, have a look at the environment around you so you can understand. And then when you have a high level of understanding through looking through the scope of those around you, and if it's not with other human beings looking through the scope of the energy, the field that is in that room, that environment, that place, that setting, that situation, then you can pull back, have a higher level of awareness and look at what serves me best, what serves those around me, what can I do to move myself forward? Bang. Go take action right away. This is easier said than done. Of course, sometimes there's heat of the moment things where we return and resort back to that primal power, those urges, those things that really put us in a position where, okay, maybe that wasn't the great thing to do at the time, but man, insanity, Same thing again and again, right? But expect a different result. You've got to be careful of that. You're only going to do yourself in in the long run. Now, it's not easy. And there's times and periods in our life when we need to step back, of course. And sometimes it's split second stuff like decision bank. I've got to go. I got to go. The higher level of awareness you have and the more you practice this, and it's not about being robotic, it's literally being more intrinsic in tune intuition, literally building out your reflexes, your instincts the right way in a greater way. It gives you so much more firepower within yourself, in your own life to lead your life, to lead your families, to lead those around you, your work, your career, the value you add to the world, all these different elements that form your life. Like you'll hear me say, life is a series of states. It is. Life is a series of experiences. It is. Life is a series of environments. It is. It's everything. The answer is yes to all of it. But when you just go that one layer deeper, it's not about getting too hot and heavy, but just one layer deeper. The stimulus, what someone is doing, what something is dictating, what an environment shows, and then me receiving that and vice versa. The space in the middle, the third space, the transitional space where that energy is moving from one to the other. Ask yourself these questions. What's going to move me forward? What's the right thing for me, for my family, for those involved, to make it a win win to carry out and carry on forward the way I want in a state of continual growth? And when you look at that, guys, and you ask yourself that question, you can pull away and have that higher level of awareness. It's so important, it's massive. Because in that space presents opportunity of choices. And in those choices presents an opportunity of states. How I want to be, how I want to think, feel, act and do. And in that, your experiences will form. Now have a look at your life. You wake up, you get out. You wake up. Bang. Environment changes. You get out of bed, you start walking. Environment changes. You start either having dinner. Sorry, dinner. Yeah, yeah. Night shift. Yeah. Start having breakfast or preparing or preparing for work. Like another environment. You hop in your car or whatever you're doing, catching buses. Another environment. You arrive at work, another environment. You engage with 1, 2, 3, 8 different people. There's another environment, Another environment. Your work, your output, your capacity and performance. Another environment. All these different environments. You come home, you see, like training, all these. There'd be at least 50 environments a day that one aren't even aware of. And you don't have to be, but when you're aware of the ones that are really important to you and ones that are really ultimately triggering you into decisions and doing things and adopting the line that isn't working, it's not helping, it's not serving you, that's when you need to pull back and go, hey, what's going on here, man? This isn't the way it should be for me. Again, no right or wrong, do whatever you want. But off the back of that and the back of the habits that you form, the cues, the triggers, different things that put you in a position where you're on autopilot. Concrete, set in stone, they're absolutes. You're not happy. Three years, five years, eight years of your life have passed. You're not happy. Why? Why me? Why this? What about this? What about that? All you needed to do at that stage is go one layer deeper, have that awareness. What am I doing? That transitional period where energy is going from A to B to then shift it from B back to A on the right terms, on the good terms for me and my life and what I want to do moving forward. So I'll finish with this, guys. Don't get lost in space when you find that. You're just not sure. You're not aware. You don't know what to do. Slow down, take a breath right now, even right now. Close your eyes, visualize and experience this just happened. What happened before that? What state was I in before that happened? Did I carry that state into that new environment? Was I working in the best interests of both of us or all of us or myself? When you enter that new environment, did I have that level of awareness? What could I have done better? And then what's the better result from that? If I do that, how will that help move me forward? When I do that, how will that help move my family, my life, and that intrinsic nature forward? And when you see that, really growth, opportunity, evolving, leveling up, shifting your life really comes down to, A, the six inches between the ears, but also B, just stepping back, just applying one iota of effort, not necessarily physically, just one extra little bit of focus, effort, and energy. Don't be lazy. Do it just because you pull back just that little bit, man, it's like you got 20, 20 vision times 10. You see things differently. It's like how dogs would see, smell, they've got unbelievable noses. How birds see colors or seafood. All these different things start to enter your life that you didn't even know about before. And when that happens, man, you're in a whole new plane, you're in a whole new ballpark, and you really get this opportunity of going, you know what? I can do this, I can do that. You raise your belief, your optimism, your. The standards you set for yourself. And this is a good example that I'll just close off on. It doesn't happen to me, not anymore. I used to be pretty triggered when I was in the car. Bit of road rage. But have a think about the next time you're driving, right, and someone cuts you off. They may know it, they may not. Who knows? Unless you get out and talk to them and you get triggered, you get angry, get on the horn. You don't get on the horn. You swear, you curse, you don't do anything, but you just feel it. Angry, irritated. How dare they? How dare they do this, this, this and that? Like, the road's a shared environment. You don't control all the metrics and all the things that occur on there. But bigger than that, have a look at what you've just done. You've allowed a complete stranger who may not even know, they probably don't even know. You've let a complete stranger who probably won't even be part of your life ever again, dictate control and influence how you feel. Like they're controlling your mind and they don't even know it. They're controlling how you think, how you feel and your actions. Man, that's crazy. Like, that's so crazy to me. And something my old man told me once. Which rings true. Absolutely. Like, never let someone, aware of it or not, who doesn't have your best interest at heart have influence and control over your emotions. Say it again. Never let anyone that doesn't have your best interests at heart have control or influence over your emotions. And don't you be that either. And when you apply that in your life, guys, the triggers disappear. Like, there are periods where I'll get abused with some of my Facebook ads for the ads for helping fathers. Some of them. Greg O. Is a great guy. He came on board as a member. He's doing awesome. A lot of the times people are just externalizing their internal environment. And a lot of the times I'll do audio messages and say, hey, mate, look, I appreciate you reaching out and this, that, the other. And you know, it's negativity like that that makes me realize this is something we need so much in this world. Thank you. Like, you're inspiring me. I'm not being a smart ass, but I need to do this. I'm sorry, mate, but you're not going to sway how I think and feel about helping fathers shift their life. I'm going to push even harder now because people need this. And you know what? Like, I've actually never had anyone abuse me after that. They've either given me a thumbs up or apologize. And I'm not looking for that either. I'm not even looking for responsibility. But the reality is you can't tap into my armor. You can't hurt me. You can't hurt this. I've built this up over so many decades. Decades, man. It's not easy. But when you build that, you fortify that. Yeah. Of course. Human beings, human nature. Someone will do something and I want to be triggered right away. I'll resort back to that primal power, that rage, or all different things, but I can shift it so quickly. You can too, right? All born the same. I'm no different. You can absolutely do that as well. And when you build that, it's great. People can't hold it over you. You don't get squeezed. You don't get backed into a corner. You just stand up. You live your truth on your terms and continually adjust, evolve and grow that truth with love and fulfillment and happiness and leadership to enhance the life of those around you. And you know what? Your own life will enhance even more. Hope you enjoy this, boys and girls. Don't forget Sundays, 8:30 on my normal Facebook page. So not my business one. My normal one. Not the Real dad movement, but literally. Alex ranieri. Every Sunday, 8:30, I dive in live, spit some fire, hopefully add some value to your lives in some way, shape or form. I hope you enjoy this. If you're watching this on my YouTube channel or if you're listening to this on itunes or on my podcast page. Love as always to all of you. If you ever need anything, please let me know alexealdadmovement.com or or you can message me, contact me. Any way, shape or form. I am always here for you. I live to serve. And if I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and good night. Take care. Be well. Live your highest truth and then raise that again and again. Awesome guys. Have a good night. Day evening. I'll chat to you soon.