266. How Wayne Saved His Marriage & Hit Version 2.0

Hey, real quick, enjoy the upcoming episode. If you haven't yet, give us a five star review. Jump on Amazon, itunes, Spotify, anywhere where you're listening to this. Or you could alternatively look at Facebook, Instagram, Other ways to promote your love and appreciation for hpf if you align with a message and you love what you see. Take care. Have an amazing day night weekday weekend whenever you listen to this and enjoy this upcoming episode because there's some absolute gold nuggets that you're going to take away. All right, Season two, episode three of Hutto's Hazing, we've got another special guest ready to haze. Sorry if you don't know what that means. Just go back to the old podcast. We we celebrated our oldest member, Hutto's 90th the other week. That's so in his honor. We've mentioned him in a few podcasts but now look, got an amazing man. I remember talking to this man feels like yesterday and, and helping him walk through the gates and what a turnaround. We've got Irish Mr. Wayne island joining us today to share his journey. Part of the mighty Titans, a squad that's just absolutely dominating Winter wars at the moment and rightfully so. Got some amazing men but, but also equally as important, Wayno and, and Hutto and Lee and Luke. Actually the last few men we've had on our episodes, they're actually squad leaders. So these are men who are a high level of leader inside hpf. And I just gotta say fuck that's so awesome, Wayne. Like I didn't really mention that. And the boys will listen to this and huge shout out to all of our squad leaders. But, but having that, that upper echelon of the top 1% men who really want to give back and serve and with no expectations. Yeah, it's just, it's phenomenal man. It really is. But Wayne, thanks for joining us mate. Looking forward to diving in and carving out the, the story that you've lived so far for other men listening. But yeah, thanks for sending. Thanks for sharing the time man and spending the time to, to share your story and your journey with us today.

Mate, that's a real odd man. It's, it really is. And being included in the Titans squad leaders, just being in with that group of men is phenomenal in itself. The pick me ups that you get each and every day just with our chat that we've got going on and you know, there's a whole lot of banter here and there but no, it's really, really good energy. So thanks for Having me on and.

Yeah, that's a pleasure, man. You know, it's, it's, it's. I gotta say, man, it's one thing to start something, but it's, it's another to completely feel like you're pulled towards a journey in life. And that's what HPF feels like to me because of other great men like you, Wayne and yourself included, and what we're all building together. I feel, I don't really mean that like it's, you know, I feel very lucky and, and quite humbled to, to be part of your journey in your life. Maybe won't spend too long. I know. So we run the squad leaders like a Chinese sweatshop. So you've got a 15 minute break, mate, and your boys need to get back in and. Oh, I've got to tell you, though, the activity is insane. It's, it's so good, so good to see you guys championing each other and just raising the bar every single week. And just for those who don't know. So with the squad leaders, right, I mean, some of these, these guys are getting together, reading through chapters of leadership books and personal development books and then applying that with the other members, like, that's just. Mate, what, what a unbelievable, cascading approach of leadership, you know, But Wayne, I'd love to know more about you, man. Or. Well, I do, but I love the guys listening to this to learn a little bit more about yourself and just sharing your journey, mate. A little bit about you, your family and life to date. And then we'll dig into a couple of challenges that we genuinely see across the world, really, with men and the struggles of today, being a man. And also share some wisdom as you've no doubt got plenty to give, but I'd love to learn a little bit more about yourself, mate, and life to date.

Sure, man. Yeah. Wayne Island. I've joined HPF about 10 months ago. I've got a beautiful wife, Tegan. We've been married for 14 years. Two beautiful kids, 9 and 7, Scarlet and Phoenix. And yeah, that little family nucleus is my world. Just love it. Grew up Central Coast, New South Wales. I don't know if I went to school with one of your cousins, actually, Steven Ranieri.

All right, I'm on the coast now, but where about Central Coast.

Wyon was the high school we went to. I grew up in a little town called Yarram along and all my friends. Yeah, from Budgie Boy.

Yeah, right, yeah. Not far, not far at all, man, from. I grew up, obviously at Western Sydney, but yeah, there you go, Steve. Maybe probably second cousins. Not, not first, but yeah, there's not too many Ranieris. There's heaps in Melbourne somewhere, but that's about it. But bloody wargs. Yeah.

Grew up Central coast, New South Wales. Beautiful part of the world if you haven't been there. My primary school, I think there was three of us in year six. Goes to speak to how small it was. 26 students from kindergarten to six. It's pretty crazy. Had a great life growing up out there. Lots of country activities, obviously we had horses and ponies, so always off going to shows and the Royal Easter show in Sydney and all that sort of thing. And when I wasn't hanging out with mum and dad doing the horse stuff, I was at my aunt and uncle's over at Budgie Boy. So that's pretty much where most of our family was. Always big family get togethers and granny had a house down right near Budgie beach. So, you know, two minute walk up there. Just love the beach life. So that's pretty much where I grew up through my teens. Left school early or at the end of year 10. Just didn't really find the love for year 11 and 12. So I had, God, all manner of jobs. Started out fencing, then small motors, mechanic, working on chicken farms and abattoirs and all sorts of stuff. Sort of early 20s. I followed my family to Manila, which is up near Tamworth, and I just sort of fell into a pretty bad drinking habit. I guess that's pretty much Australian culture back then and I didn't know who I was, where I was going, what I wanted to do. I just found myself in a rut. I was pretty depressed and for me to get an out, I joined the Defense Force. So from there I joined the Army. 2007, shipped me off to Kapuka, Um, and then they strip you down to your barest of bears and then build you back up. That experience in itself was unreal. It made me or given me the base for who I am today, definitely. But yeah, it was a good journey. Spent four years in there. 2009 I traveled to Afghanistan, did a tour over there. 9 and 10 I came home and met Tegan, my now wife. Went to go and spend three days with her and ended up spending 10. I left that little engagement and went and bought a wedding ring. So she must have had a fair impact on me. Not long after that Tegan moved to Townsville with us. It was a bit of a wildfire actually. And then from there tried to get a transfer out of Townsville down to Brisbane in the defense. And that didn't happen. So I left the defense force and followed Tegan and have been mining pretty much ever since. So, yeah, now I run a crew. We got 35 plus contractors that work under us. And yeah, that's sort of where we're at up to now.

That's so interesting, man. Like you choosing. Choosing the army. So obviously at a time where they're. Well, I guess the environment actually that is interesting. Like the environment wasn't conducive to a greater good. I mean, let's just call that for what it is, right? You know, drinking culture and drugs and. And just, you know, a lot of tomfoolery going on. Right. So what was driving you? What drove you to change then? Why didn't you just come into the fold and be like everyone else? I'm curious on that one.

First I wasn't sure. I didn't have a direction, man. Like I just knew I needed to get out of what I was doing or it was going to end up bad. Um, and I don't know, maybe there was an advertisement I saw or something, but it was just a complete removal of where I was. So I got to just go away and start life again, so to speak. I wasn't in a like terribly bad environment, Just my headspace. I just knew I needed more. I needed something different.

It's funny I look at so school. I probably should have left in year 10 too, man. Spent the last two years just going to the gym, lifting weights, playing cards and bringing my chickens into school and putting them in the principal's office where they're shitting all over the desk and trying to run away and say it wasn't me. But some good moments, but not that many. Schooling system. I think that's awesome, man. I think there should always be some sort of military training and. Or trade development. Like, yeah, we did woodwork, but I mean, what did we really do? We built a bread box. That was awesome. You know, I got 96 out of 100 for that. First in the class, so I'll take that. But you know, but it's something that it's so valuable. You said it shaped the man you are today. Now look, there's obviously men who have other stories where it's quite tough depending on how long you spend in there, mate. Tough game. Like huge, huge respect to people defending our country. That's fucking tough though. So interesting, man, that turns and changes. What do you find has been a contributing factor that has led you a Lot of your life, has it been your gut instinct or. Cause that's. That's phenomenal with Tegan, man. And then getting in, though, so following her. But now you're in a very pretty. Pretty powerful leadership position as well. So it's like you say, pretty casually. I just got into mining and leading a crew, man, and it's. And a great leader of that. Like what. What sort of directs you in life? Like what's. And obviously we'll talk about before hpf, but like, yeah. What did you feel was your guide throughout that time as a man? Because so many young men who might not be fathers yet listen to these podcasts, Wayne, and it's like, fuck, I don't know what to do. I don't know what success is. I don't know my direction. Yeah, curious on that. And then also, what led you to hpf,

direction wise? I guess I've run a lot off gut and just my general feeling for things. If I don't get a good feeling for somewhere, I generally won't hang around for too long. So, yeah, just my. I don't know, my innate ability to. Or my desire. My desire for more, I guess too. I just. I'm not comfortable. I want more. So if I get too stagnant, I'm not growing, I'm not learning. So I don't want to hang around and waste my life, essentially. And then, yeah, I don't know, I fell into mining. So Tegan is an environmental engineer, so she was actually the one that got us in. And then from there I just started. And I've always been a quick learner. I guess it is that hunger to learn more. So I just followed the line and there was always a carrot, another carrot, another carrot. So just kept climbing higher and higher till we got to a point where I come to a fork in the road and I was like, do I want to do university and get my surveyor's degree, or do I want to go a different path and go up from the inside from the operator's perspective? And the university degree just screamed schooling again to me. So I went out in the pit and started operating, which I ended up doing a shitload of study for anyway. Right. So the role that I'm in now is a statutory position. So it took a few years of study of law and legislation and all that anyway, so I could have gone either way and would have been similar outcome, I guess. But, yeah, the desire to grow and learn more and just be more in general, I guess, is what's pulled me to where I am. And then what drove me to hpf? Well, my marriage was falling apart, actually. That's being kind. My marriage had fallen apart. So in the very early years during Tegan and I's wildfire, I was a little promiscuous, something I'm not proud of. And I had a couple of one night stands and then never got spoken about. And the guilt ate me up for the next 13 years. And during that time, I lost who I was. I don't know. It's a tough thing to live with. I stopped finding joy in lots of things. I thought I was just providing because I was going to work and bringing home the money, as so many of us do. But it wasn't working and Tegan was suffocating and she put the writing on the wall for me so many times, so many times. And I was just in a huge avoidant pattern and I didn't listen or I ignored it or whatever we want to put it, but I didn't take heed and I didn't change what I was doing. So yeah, we went. What exactly happened? Anyway, she hit me with the ultimatum that it's pretty much over unless I change my ways. And then like we say, the old phone must have picked up what was out there in the atmosphere and up popped your pretty face and here we are today. I put the call through and you called me back. So. Yeah. And here we are ten months later.

Yeah, I appreciate you sharing and opening up like that too, man. Like it's a. It's so fucking tough. And I look at HBF being built off my marriage falling apart and it's like, fuck, it's so hard at the time. And as always, it takes two hands to clap. But for us as men, if we're not willing to fall in our sword and then get back off it and. And move through redemptive mode too. No human being should ever just cow with their tail between their legs forever. But to rise up and choose to fucking do something about it is. It's pretty honorable, man. And it's. It is raw and real way know. And it takes a lot of fucking balls and courage to do something about it instead of just. Just hiding away. So huge love and respect for you men for doing something about it where most men don't. Unfortunately, just cause you don't hear about it on the news doesn't mean it doesn't happen. It happens fucking everywhere, every day, all the time. And it's. That's fucking sad because everyone loses, including the children. But just before we dive into the change and the journey and what you've done, you, Tegan, your family, what are your thoughts on the world as it currently stands? Because it sounds like this is a common thing where men just try and make money and provide for the family and they appear to be. Yeah, I don't know if you mentioned the word loss, but that is a natural thing. Upon reflection, that happens. But you don't feel lost until you stop and look around. But most men don't stop and look around until they get fucking square smacked in the face. And that's always too little, too late at that stage. So what's, what do you see out in the world, man? Like, what's the biggest struggle that men have? They don't have the right mentorship, the right people around them. They don't have the direction on what success should be. Just make money and provide. Like, what do you see as being a real big challenge for young men today before they enter fatherhood and lacking that direction?

Something I've tried to look more on lately because I've, yeah, sort of asked myself the same question and I don't know if it's like something that resonates with me is that like we used to have a coming of age thing when you go back to when we're in our tribes and we're primal and there was just something about that where young men had to earn their way to step up and become a man within the tribe. And I feel with current society we don't really have that. We go through school and it's all pretty airy fairy, so to speak. You know, you get the jocks that go and play football and all this sort of thing. But I just feel like we let our young fellows go off into the world without really having that mentorship or that guidance. As they, as they progress up through the high years, you know, they leave home, which is fine, everyone's going to, and then they're just left to their own devices. It's. I don't know, I don't know how you combat it. But that's just where I see, where I think I see the downfall is.

Do you see that in your line of work as well, man? Like the mining, the FIFO industry or dido. But yeah, you know, like it's, it seems like it could be a cultural thing. Is it a belief system thing? Guys just are unaware. They're ignorant. Like what. Yeah, what do you see like in, in the workforce as well with these young men that, that leads to them going in the wrong direction.

I think there is a lot of ignorance out there. The mining game, I actually live where I work, so that really works for us as a family. But the fly in, fly out, you hear the stories of what happens on camp and it's a big boys club and everyone's drinking piss and carrying on and it's all a hoot. But I don't know if that really, you know, that transfers back to real life situations. Yeah. So if you imagine you're 17 and you get out into this atmosphere and that's what you're exposed to all the time, where is that leadership or where is that mentorship coming from? If that's what you're exposed to?

Yeah, great. I've referenced it a few times in podcasts. You know, Pinocchio going to the island, they act like donkeys, they then become donkeys. Right. So funny the. The hidden message in that children's film. But where did your desire come from? Because you mentioned something that I just love, mate. You said you ambitious and a desire and a want for more. And for all of you listening, like, there's nothing wrong with that, man. Like it's. There's nothing wrong with you. You don't have to be normal or average or all the other words that people try and use. Australia is just rife with tall poppy bullshit syndrome. The crab's in the bucket, so to speak. There's nothing wrong with wanting more, but it seems to be a very taboo subject, or not very highly spoken of, where it's greed or all these other things that's mislabeled or misplaced or you're superficial. It's not even about more money. It's a desire and ambition for more life. But do you know, was there a moment for you in your life? Where did that come from? Like, how did that manifest or foster itself inside of you? Because not a lot of people, unfortunately, not a lot of people have that drive or desire for more in life. Or if they do, in their words, they certainly don't back it up with actions. But how about you, man? Where do you feel that sort of planted itself in your life?

I had a really good role model in my uncle when I was growing up, and I still look up to him to this day, even in his older, frail state. But he was a good example to me of what a man should be and what we should strive for. And then again, I feel like I lost a lot of that, I don't know, desire or that hunger maybe during the last six or seven years. Where I was just pushing at work, sort of reflecting on it here now. There was still that desire there, right? Cause I was still growing, still pushing hard, and I was still climbing that tree. But I guess my desire now is for more outside of work. Like, that was very work focused. Cause it was easy to dive into. Right. It's. The goals are there, and it's easy to know that I just gotta do these steps to keep climbing higher. So I can actually thank Teagan for a lot of my desire now to push onward and upward and find more outside of the service category. She's a huge advocate and she's. Yeah, she really does light a fire inside me. And together we're pretty much unstoppable when we're singing along together. So I think, yeah, I think a combination of just not. I mean, life not being enough, doing what we're doing. And then with Tegan beside me, it just creates a hunger that there's so much more out there. There's so much more to live for and experience. And I got two little kids, man, and if I can take them, like, this trip around the world and show them that life isn't just living in this little town and just going to work and coming home each day, there's cultures out there which are thousands of years old. There's mountains and caves, and there's so much in the world that we haven't experienced. And yeah, that's. That's another big driver.

That's exciting, man. A little. Like I said, Phoenix and Scarlett, traveling around the world with them. How awesome. What an adventure. What. What amazing exposure you're going to be giving them. And so true, man. Like, my. I kind of want my wife to be ambitious in life the way that I am, but she helps magnify or compound what I do professionally and what we build professionally and personally and together as a team. And it's really important, man. What do you feel led to the hardships? You obviously mentioned the sins of the past, but, like, what did you find as a heart? Is it. Is it parenthood? Is it trying to juggle it all? What led to the eventual. Because that was a long time ago. But then it was like, okay, but then you reached out to us. You took that step. So was it an itch that hadn't been scratched? Hey, I need to really get this together. Family, self service. I mean, most men don't hear that term, but that's. There are three circles that make your life. Like, what. What do you feel led? And typically, across a lot of families, what do you feel leads to the breakdown in disconnect in the household?

There's a lot of time I didn't put into Tegan's cup. And when you don't fill one of the three cups, the whole lot tends to suffer. And obviously there was a guilt on my side. So I think subconsciously for me there was also that because I'd felt so horrible that I didn't deserve to enjoy life. So I would, I don't know, I'd try and look on the sad side and I guess I'd feel guilty. Right. You know, I'm terrible human and this is the sort of shit that I've done. And then. Yeah, so you get in a little bit of a whirlwind there and you just get inside your head and it's a vicious cycle. And then being so self centered in that regard and focusing on that. Well, I didn't, I was forgetting Tegan and then I didn't fill her cup. I didn't help around the house a whole lot. I sort of thought that I was doing my part just by going to work and bringing in a good paycheck and you know, we live a good life, but it's not enough. You really need to need to treat her like my queen. That's. That was one of the big things. But I also needed to give back to myself. So once I started to give back to myself, and it was you that said it to me, and it was, it dawned on me that day that you don't judge a man by his actions or you do judge his actions, not the man. Sorry. And that cut through man. That, that really opened me right up and I was like, well, if Al can see that and say that about me, then why can't I see the same in myself? So from then, after that little bit of a change in perspective or the reframe, I started to build faith and trust in myself again. I got out of the guilt spiral. And then once I was able to see more clearly, I was able to start putting effort in to myself and then to Tegan and then dedicating time to the kids and the rest is history in that regard.

Yeah, but it's important you mentioned that though, man, because a lot of men would be like, hey, I want to improve my relationship with my wife or my kids or I want to, you know, juggling this juggling act of life and try and balance things.

But.

But they're always forgetting the one common denominator, which is the only concert in life. Yourself. You so it's all well and good to learn the skills around relationships and what my wife wants and needs and how to be the chief balance, the Viking and the panda and blah, blah, but actually comes back down to yourself, man, and pouring into your cup and yeah, being a hundred way no. So you can give a hundred. You know, I just love that. Like that's become a real. I can't believe I didn't give that the attention. I mean, I do and I have over the years, but that's like the. That's like the mantra, man. It's like, be 100, you give 100. Like, we're not some sort of relationship guru that's just fucking popped up because that's the latest craze on running hooks and ads and Facebook advertising. It's like the relationship will fucking sort itself out when you sort of. The most important relationship about which is you. Huge respect to you for that, man. And that's one thing too, guys, is like, you can't. Like, you can't. You can judge actions, like, by default. Everything that we do is judged, like, by default. Lino. That's. That's called life. You know, if I pick up a pen and I drop it, there's a judgment that takes place through the force that pulls that pen to the earth. Like everything has some level of judgment and. Or outcome. What people do, though, is they hold onto a judgment of oneself which can change. So that doesn't mean you should be like Teflon and think you're some invincible fucking hero. Because I made a mistake three seconds ago and now I'm good, but it's also going well. Hang on a minute. It's the mistake, it's not the man. And then the man can define the moments and what they mean to him and then drive better actions which will then drive better judgment. I truly mean that, mate. That wasn't to butter you or anyone else up. It's like, no man. Let him judge the actions, judge the man. But let's start judging a better quality and better level of action that we do. And then the path will reveal itself. How have you found hboc? What have you learned, man? What's some wisdom and things you want to share with these guys? Have you found hbf? Obviously you fucking crushed with ups and downs like we all have. You've crushed the last 10 months, mate. That's pretty apparent. But what. Yeah, I guess. What are the outcomes and results and ripple effect that's come off the back of your efforts in hbf? And what have you done? How have you found it, man? Have you found the journey, man?

I have loved hbf and that's not just a plug. It saved my marriage. And we're in such a great place now. We're by no means perfect, but from where I was 10 months ago to where we are now is fucking 100%. So in that regard, absolutely unbelievable. Starting HPF straight into 21 day challenges. And that just that one challenge when you first get in, it sets the stage, man. Like, you go in, you're like, oh yeah, do this challenge, do this challenge. And three or four days in you're like, fuck yeah, let's do this, like dominating. And like you say you start getting the winds up and then you start to see a little change in the body. You're like, yeah, I'm fitter, I'm fitter already. I've got these disciplines that are coming through. You start reflecting more. At that point, I didn't really understand like that self reflection piece, but just the little actions continuously over and over started to allow me to sit down and then start reflecting. So I think for me now in the last month the whole self reflection part has really started to hit home. But that's built off these habits that come in when we first start and do the 21 day challenge. Winter Wars. Winter War has been another. I've loved it. It's absolutely amazing. The first month this year was pretty physical, physically intense, which is my natural. I love the physical stuff and sort of it's my go to. But then sharing through our ecosystem, you know, you put up your wins, boom, this is what I've done. And then you'll have comments and then there'll be other dudes posting up how awesome they've been and what they've got themselves into. And so that's been really cool. And then staying on the Winter wars for this month, it's been very deep. So it's a lot of internal reflection. And normally historically that's something that I would shy away from. And I've been making a concerted effort to challenge myself and get comfortable in the uncomfortable. So I've dug deep and I've dove hard and I've had some really cool things come up. There's been a good few good posts in the forum, in the community forum. So yeah, if you're in there, go and have a look at those for sure. But then the support you get from the ecosystem. Right. So. And being able to share that because I think lots of times we get caught in our own head, you know, We've got to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. You just got to run your own race. And if you can show people that this is what you're going through, they don't have to do it themselves. And then it may or did for me, tick something in me, I'm like, oh, yeah, all right. Well, he's gone through that. We're all only human, so it's safe to speak about. And then, I don't know, you just. The talk that you get with the guys, it's straight to the deep stuff. There's. You cut out a lot of the superficial stuff that you go through in the open world and you get straight to the meaningful stuff. And there's always so much support. Um, that's what I've found. I haven't come across any negative stuff in here and that it's unheard of. I. You find me another. Another place, another ecosystem or forum where that's real.

It's pretty crazy, isn't it? Having a collective of hundreds of strong, driven, ambitious men with no. No bullshit, no fluff, no big dicking, and. And just maintaining a positive driven mindset and level of support. That. That's one thing I've seen where there have been guys that will just message me privately in our community going, mate, I just, you know, it blows me away that you've got a community of men who haven't even met you in the flesh and they want nothing but the best for you. I'm like, mate, you're. You're right. Like, that is a. And sometimes I got it because, you know, I'm. I'm. I'm in the ecosystem. So sometimes you gotta step out a bit and be like. And I am. I am a little bit protective of my environment. So I wouldn't say I'm a hermit, but, yeah, I don't go actively seeking all different environments to see what they're made of because it's.

Yeah.

I mean, the quality and caliber of most of the way the world operates is not ideal. And then the lone wolf's definitely not the answer. So, yeah, I am quite reserved with the public because I've got my home and it's a phenomenal one. But when you step out and you look in, it's like, wow. Put that in. So we catch up in person, mate. Unreal. To catch up with you and Brizzy. How fucking good was it? Yeah, it's just awesome. And spend time together. But if you want to look at the hybrid. So in person and online, if you Want to look at that in just, I guess, a real example. It'd be like me walking into Woolies at the shops and going down a specific aisle where a complete stranger greets me and says, oh, hey, Al. Yeah, mate, look, I know what you're looking for. Here's the item here. It's on this shelf, mate. And. Oh, and also there's only one left, but it's yours. Would you, like. Like, it's just like I'm trying to. I'm trying to think of a good example to paint the culture and that genuine nature of just wanting the fucking best and giving the best to each other with no, with no hidden agenda. And it's like I actually can't even think of a good example. And that's not to discredit. Oh, mate, there's fucking incredible charities and charitable people. Like, we're not the only humans on earth who have a heart or care, but in that environment, it's, it is, it's pretty special, Wayne. You know, men that are typically middle aged, but be it 30s or 40s, some in their 50s, you know, who want more out of life to find a brotherhood that otherwise is so, so separate to what most men live through in isolation. Quite desperation, the lone wolf. It's. Yeah, it's. It's chalk and cheese, isn't it, man?

It really is. It really is.

What, Any reflections? Anything stand out for you, though? Like what? Any, Any lessons or biggest takeaways from the, from the community so far or your journey with HPF that you think would be valuable for some of the men listening today?

One part I didn't touch on before was the relationships course that I did in hpf and that enlightened me to a whole different way of looking and interacting and communicating with Tegan. It's a whole lot of just learning to slow down and appreciate or understand that men and women are very different creatures. Women are extremely emotionally driven and we seem to be sort of logically and fix it driven. And I wouldn't say that I've cracked the code on that, but once you crack the code, so to speak, it's made the world of difference. Just being able now to look in advance and see that Tegan's had a big day and she's going to be super stressed and I can make sure that I've got dinner on and I've got the kids all sorted and I've booked her a sauna so that she can just finish work and go down the sauna and just chill out. It's Amazing. It's part of what's turned our relationship around. So. Yeah. Other thing that I've come across, be true to yourself. So giving back to yourself and being kind to yourself, you really do. You have to fill your own cup, like we all say it within the tribe, but you have to be 100 to give 100. And it's so true. Once you start getting back out there and getting into the physical fitness, you just. I don't know how it works, but you just get so much more extra energy. You'd think you'd lose it by working out ridiculously hard and pushing yourself to your limits, but it really does give you that energy back into your life to go and spend elsewhere running your own race. We really do need to just run our own race. It's not a competition. Inside here. Everyone has their own trials and tribulations. And I think that's probably one of the best parts about HPF is that the guys in here are all going on their own journey. It's not a competition, but we're all here to support each other. No one's drama is any more important than anyone else's. So we all just step up back mark where we can look after each other. Reach out if you know someone's in the Hurt Locker, maybe you can help them, maybe you can lift them up. Maybe they just need an ear to talk to. I know I had a bit of a rough time not all that long ago, probably six weeks ago now. And Jimmy, God bless his soul, one of the first guys to call me straight up and check in and just make sure everything was cool. But, yeah, it's just that support that you have inside here.

Yeah, I like the way you put it too, mate. Like, we talk about winter wars and challenges and all that, but it's. It's. Every man has his journey. His journey is his journey to walk. You know, it's like, can we. Can we walk together where we're unified, but we all have our own paths? But the paths are close enough where we can link arms like a proper brotherhood and keep moving forward. Just like you see those army days, or you're still in sit up in the ocean and you gotta link us, like. Well, yeah, it's like, you know, we're not here to carry each other's burdens at the cost of our own, but we all have our own cross to bear. And. But. But with each other lifting each other up, we can maintain a better posture and forward, focus on what matters most instead of looking in the fucking rearview. Mirror like too often, too many people do. You know what interests me is the ripple effect. You know, it's, it's, it's funny, isn't it? High performance father. We're working with men though who are fathers but you don't hear the father would term and byproduct spoken about a lot. And the reason why I've mentioned this before as well is, well, a high performance father is like the after effect. It's like a byproduct or a lag measure. So it's like the outcome of a man who is squared away physically, mentally, emotionally in control of his time, understands relationships and dynamics in what heads the household, the relationship with the wife, the marriage. And then what then trickles out into the children and raising boys to men, girls to women. You know, it's. It's always upside though. And that's what I see. Which is why just like saving a marriage, so to speak. Appreciate. That's awesome, Wayne. But that's not the first focus. It's like, well, how do we. It's that beautiful, you know, fable that I've shared before. You know, when you put the man together, the world falls into place. What has been the effect for Phoenix and Scarlett like have you seen over the last 10 months of positive change and ripple effect for you, fatigue and for the household in general? I'd love to share because I think that's important too and it's not. This is never the guilt trip. Men either. I'm not saying men who aren't in hbf. You're a fucking bad dad. We all love our kids but it's like mate, sometimes we don't pour into our own cup, right? Wayner which means we don't do things for ourselves, which means we can feel sorry for ourselves, which means we can't use ourself as a driver. So mate, I've got my fourth. During a few months I'm going to leverage the fuck out of that. Being a motivator for me to rip in. Mate. I use my children like that for sure. Nothing drives me more than my four children and leading by example. But I think that's a valuable thing for some of these men listening who are struggling and pain to understand like you've only got one shot but so do they. Their life matters as well. But yeah, walk us through some of the change, man. And, and the positives for them.

Yeah, the change on the, with the kids. So the, the whole special time deal. Part of the challenge is to set aside just 10 minutes a day which it always runs over. Right. But just through, like, dedicating that time, they. Their little eyes come to light and they know whose day it is, whether it's Phoenix or Scarlet. No, no, no. Scarlett had it yesterday. It's my day today. Yeah, man. Absolutely. It' so they get super excited by that. But even their behavior. So I don't know, just dedicating the time to them. I get better reactions out of the kids when I need them to do something where once upon a time might have been an argument and they'd throw down. Now they listen better, they help out more. And I don't know if that's just because of the special time or just because they're maturing. And maybe I'm leading a bit better, but I find or have found that it definitely changed from when I started, like, dedicating special time each day to the kids. So that ripple effect there has been awesome. And then the ripple effect on to Tegan and then even outside. So just by me learning to step up and lead and really stay in my masculine energy has allowed Tegan to sort of shrink back a little bit. She doesn't. Doesn't need to lead the household. She doesn't need to run the household anymore, sort of. She knows that I'll step up and I'll take these things off her plate and she can step back and relax. So that's worked really well, too. But I've also noticed in my interactions at work, so I wouldn't say I've always been a pushover, but I've always been relatively quiet and easygoing, which works. I get along with everybody. But I've just noticed in the last, I don't know, six or eight months that I've really stepped up and sort of led with presence, even at work. And the feedback I get from the crews, even crews that aren't mine, is. Is really good that they really appreciate how I look after them, how I run them. Just my clarity on what I need them to do is always on point. So. And then interactions I have with the young guys too. So those. Or what would you say, early 20s? And they'll just be out there and we'll be talking. And I just feel like I've got knowledge that I can impart on them and help guide them and lead them maybe in a little bit of a different direction or give them a few pointers on these things where that they can implement in their own life and just have a little bit of a positive impact. So, yeah, it definitely flows on, not just within the family household, but definitely outside.

Hmm. It's a. It's something we mentioned with hpf. It's a leadership organization. Right. And if the level of leader is going to define the level of quality of life that those who are following you live. And this is no discredit to women or to children who will grow up to be adults. But what an opportunity, right? To not only lead as an individual, but lead collectively. It's so awesome, man. So have the moon for you and Deegan and the kids and, you know, Scarlet showing his standards on what to look for in a man and Phoenix who to be. It's. It's awesome. A man who's got desire for more and wanting more can't stay in the same spot. Achieve great success with hpf. So what's what. What is. What is next? What is on the horizon? We did a powerful session last week about stretching the vision and other things. And so we're big on that with HPF and for those listening. So Wayne O's. Yeah, he said he's 10 months in. Wayne has just renewed for the next 10 years. That's awesome. So sorry about the next 3,000 days, mate. Let's just face it. But, like, what, but yeah, man, what do you see? Like, what's the next mountain? You know this is the game, right? It's mini mountains where the men are with us for a season or 50. It's, it's. We're here to honor the journey of the man and be the shepherd and sherpus for him. But what, yeah, what do you see next, man? What's that next mountain? Mini mountain, big mountain. What does that look like for you? Traveling around the world six months. That's pretty awesome. But yeah, what do you see in the future?

That's definitely the next mountain. So that was born out of. I gotta go back a few steps here. So when the shit hit the fan with Tegan about, what is it now? Two and a half years ago, somewhere there, we decided that we're going to sell the house we're in. Um, we're going to buy a caravan and travel Australia. So that all hinged on me getting my open cut examiner certificate, which I missed the first round of. So it pushed our plans back 12 months. So we ended up with in the caravan for nearly two years and didn't travel Australia. Um, so then we traveled to Fiji where we embedded ourselves in a remote local tribe up in the far north in a district called Mali. And that really grounded us. So there was pretty much no phone reception. Anything like that. We're living in bar cuts just on a beach. I learned how to climb coconut trees and spearfish with a piece of eight gauge wire and elastic band. So it was really grounding and it just made us appreciate the smaller things. Like there's so much more to life than living in the big fancy house and having the big flash car and it was just, it was really grounding. So we come home and we made the decision that we're going to sell the caravan and we're going to travel the world. We'd spoke to lots of families that world school so they just travel and they drop in at schooling hubs around the world and they learn different cultures and all this sorts of things. So that's how we got to the six months of travel. So it's not just about the travel, it's about rebuilding our family. So it's actually a pretty big mountain to climb for me anyway. So yep, the travel will be awesome. But that next big mountain is spending a lot of time rebuilding the family and just creating a whole new family identity I guess so that we can bond a whole lot more and just become that much extra tightly knit. After the travel we definitely will be coming home for a period. But we don't know. We don't know what's next. It's whether do I stay in mining and shoot for the next level there or do you, do I change my realms of work altogether and look for something new? Like something that really resonates with me now is giving back. So what that means, I'm not sure. But there's a big change coming. I just, I feel like the break from mining is just going to, I don't know, allow me to see. Maybe the next, the next part of the mountain that I need to climb

could have something to do with hpf, mate. Who knows?

Yeah, man.

Yes. How good. But no, that's. But sometimes that is the mountain for some men. So credit to you for climbing it. Hey, I want to have some. I want to be fluid in my life and be able to travel and raise my children the way that I want and give them experiences and not just be a fucking slave to the dollar which is so tough for a lot of men these days. Whether it's real or self imposed and so well done on that. But then that then creates that fluidity, creates not only an opportunity but also more work, man. Like you said, work on yourself, work on your family, work on the dynamics, work on your future, your skill sets, what you can develop. That's What I love and feel so lucky about with HPF and who it's turned me into, not running a business, like who it's actually forged me into, man. It's like, fuck, you guys would say that. They go back to the first podcast episodes. How much has changed? Holy shit. I laugh, I struggle to listen to them, but it's all part of the journey. I love how you just casually glossed over. Living with natives in Fiji and spearfishing with elastic. Where did that come from? Yeah, you know, I joined the military and went into mining and a couple of kids and hey, by the way, I lived in Fiji and just climbed trees and coconut. That's epic, man. How was it? How was it? That's. That's unreal.

Life changing. There's no other way to put it. There's. I don't know, there's so much in my life, man, we could spend freaking six hours here talking about everything that I've done. It's sometimes hard to pull apart which parts are the important parts to get out for the conversation. But, yeah, Fiji, it just blew us away. Well, Tegan found it and it's essentially a little tribe in the north of Fiji that's trying to keep their culture alive. So they bring in families and they put on cultural displays and they embed you in the tribe, essentially, and you learn what they do, how they live, why they do it. I had the honour of actually greeting the chief, the chief of Mali. So there's a whole ceremony that goes with that. Bring him in, hand over carver and thank him and the tribe for having us and looking after us and keeping us safe. So that was an honor that was bestowed upon me. I'm actually. They call me the White Fijian now. But yeah, super grounding, man. Like, we're literally in a hut with no walls that had a little tin roof. We actually made friends with the two rats that used to frequent the. The hut each night. They didn't get up to too much mischief for them is too much. But yeah, we had nothing. And we were the happiest that we'd ever been. It was literally just us and the clothes on our backs. And like I said, I learned to climb coconut trees. So now if I get stranded on an island, I can look after myself. I can weave coconut palms together and build a hut. And yeah, it was just super grounding for all of us. And then free diving with the Fijians, just out on these beautiful reefs with a piece of eight gauge wire and then spearing parrotfish. We just come up on the beach and we had a cook up and one of the Fijian lads caught two crayfish, so. Had them as well. Pretty bloody special.

Absolutely, absolutely. You know the culture too. We went there a couple of years ago now. It was just great to see the man would. The men were doing manly things and the women were doing womanly things. And those women were strong too. I made a mistake. Those strong women. But it's just like they, they both the men and. And the woman, like they, they knew their role and their place and their contribution, their teamwork. Like, it's so fucking bizarre. Like a woman would. Would. Would be seething. What do you mean? Know your role like. Bitch. Well, hang on a minute. But. But a man wouldn't. Okay, tell me what my fucking role is.

That.

That's so funny. Like, how do you. I look at equality of value? Not equality of output. That's just a fucking stupid measurement. Like, why would you give a woman something she'd be incompetent at versus what a man could crush and vice versa, you know, so it's a quality of value, not a quality of output. That's what grinds my gears when it comes to people talking about equality. It's. Of course, we're all human beings, mate. Why is this even a talking subject? But don't try and measure a quality of output. It's a quality of value as human beings, not equality of dotting I's and crossing T's. Because it's two different skill sets that we have and strengths and weaknesses. That's pretty cool, man. Have nothing and just be happy. And I think I mentioned this maybe on another podcast, how happiness is a habit. And a habit comes down to a choice of one, being present, two, being gracious, grateful for what you have, and three, having something to look forward to. How cool. I'm going to learn how to fish with a bit of wire and enjoy the kill with some men and honor the creature and that's. Mate. Sick. So good. So good. What you've been a wealth of wisdom in the. In the community and a great squad leader too. Wayno. What. What would you. I guess men who don't have the opportunity or luxury or chance, they're not on the inside with hpf like, so they don't see what we see and do what we do. But any advice, mate? Any tips? It's been awesome connecting with you, man. But I guess as we come close, closer to wrapping up this, this session, mate, what advice, tips, words of wisdom for men out there to just get Their rudder steering in the right direction just to. Just to get on track like. It's such a precious gift, this life, man. I just fucking hate waste. I hate seeing people wasted away, you know, it's tough. It's one of the toughest parts of this, this role. Yeah, man. Any advice or tips or wisdom for some of the guys out there? They can think about, reflect on action.

I guess choosing your own hard is one that's stuck with me through all this. We can often get caught in our own little pity parties, but I think if we zoom out, most of us know that we need to take action. So it's just having the courage and just make that first step. Reach out to a brother. Doesn't have to be in hpf. If you're not on the inside, then just reach out to a mate. I think we've all got this misconception that no one cares and we need to do it all on our own. But I think you'll find that oftentimes if you do reach out to someone, most people will be there and willing to give you a hand where they can. It's certainly the experience that I've found since being in and then reaching out to guys at work. Actually, one of those guys is now a member with us, so. But yeah, I just. We need to. We need to not carry the world ourselves. There's. There's other people around us that are there to help and we need to share the load sometimes.

What an incredible gift too, mate. You know, you've played a role in another man joining HPF and through that, directly and indirectly influencing unborn grandchildren who are going to have a completely different path in their life now. That's pretty. It's pretty special, man. Like, I talk about that with. With Naz, one of our guys and his podcasts, and how awesome. You know, even this podcast, if it reaches one man who just takes that step with or without hpf, takes that step to improve his position in life and make it stick. And that's the hard part, making it stick for good, especially on your own. But what a win. What a win. And great words of wisdom from the. The man himself. The. The white. The white Fijian. We got this whole run sheet here, actually. Way no. Six times Mr. Olympia, professional Formula One race car driver. He's been to the moon three times. It's. He's also. It's. What's this? He's free dived 350 meters for 12 minutes under the ocean. He's caught a fish. I know a shark with his bare hands. And where's. What are all these other things we don't know about Mr. Island? Old Irish. It's like, oh, that's right. No, he was Conor McGregor's mentor in the MMA. It. Oh, how good, how good. What haven't you, though? I've been to the Olympics four times, taught Usain Bolt everything, you know. Now that's a. That's so awesome. That's something I've always thought about. Not because of the movie Castaway, but I was like, how good would it be just to just being present in sunlight, oxygen, food, water. It's such a. You would know that, man. It's such a different vibration, isn't it? Such a different frequency.

It is the frequency. It's so hard to explain, but yeah, just being there, you do. I don't know, you slip into a role. Everyone's got their roles. Like even speaking to the Fijians themselves. The chief would allocate. Are you. He's got his tribes and that tribe's the boat building tribe. So if he needs a boat builder, goes to the boat building tribe. Or if he needs a hut built, he'll go and see the carpenters and they'll build the hut for him or whatever he needs, or the fishermen, he'll send them out to go and catch the fish for the feast. But everyone has their role, but the frequency. For a long time I'd sort of just paid that off. I was like, oh, yeah, vibrations and frequency. But it is so, so very true. And when you really get in syn with a person or people or the atmosphere, the environment, things just keep coming, Good things happen, good things just keep on coming. So, yeah, it's phenomenal.

That's a real thing, man. Like, guys, like, we're not talking about some sort of spiritual voodoo like this table right here. And you know, the. The anatomy of this table at an atomic level is vibrating a certain frequency which gives this table right here I'm sitting at. It's. It's density and depth and wait. And the difference though is this table will never change. Unless, of course, obviously, I put it in the fire or burn it or break it. But as human beings, there's so many. There's such a range, such a range that we choose, but then we no longer choose. We just become slaves and we just operate at this lower level. That's so sad because like. Like you said, mate, when. Once you experience that, that's what cozy is like. When, when people. Man, that, that doco, that video was phenomenal and it probably wasn't even 100th of the experience. Right? And that's a real thing. Just like being able to cut the air with a knife when you can sense tension when you walk in a room, it's a real thing. So experiencing that nose helps you know that it exists, which helps you then set a standard or baseline that you can choose to either buy into or just catch up in the rat race like everyone else. And you're born, you live and you die and. Yeah, how sad. Meant for more. And there's nothing wrong with wanting more, too. Amazing session, mate. Amazing session. Thank you for joining us, man. Final thoughts, anything else as we wrap up?

No, no final thoughts for me. Thanks for having me on, Al. Thanks for creating this beast that is hpf. I hope we bring many more members on and can help lots more men in the future. So if you're out there and you're listening to this and you think you need a hand or where you just want to come on the inside, do it. You couldn't make a better choice. Absolutely.

Thank you, man. Life is nothing but change, man. And what I've seen historically is not the duds and the Debbie Downers or the men who hold onto a victim mentality. Those guys will never reach out. And if you don't change your behavior, well, you'll never be good enough anyway. We can't help that. But for the high performers out there, ironically enough, if you're a high performer out there and you find yourself struggling in life, that's exactly why. Because most high performers, they don't ask for help. I'll be right, I'll keep going alone. If it is to be, it's up to me. And I get that, man. It's your fucking path. It's your journey. But the top performers through life and the changes that come, they always actually struggle the most because you've got so much more to lose. You haven't lost yet, like all the other duds. So it's like, just listen to what Wayne O's saying there. Like, it is important because you are the ones who struggle the most because you're least likely to ask for fucking help. Whereas for me, I love every day waking up going, how can I serve so many people at such a high level, such that by doing that, they are naturally going to help me, even if I ask for it or I don't because I'm a member of HPF2. And the more I ask for help, the more successful I get in life. So I'll tell you right now, between you and me, Wayne, I'm not ashamed to admit that I fucking love the help. The more the better, man. How good? How good? It's the best, mate. It's fucking great. Thank you again, man. Thank you, guys. Hope you enjoyed this. Hope you got a lot of value out of it, as I did. What a cracking episode. Whether you're watching on YouTube or listening on on this, as always, with my intros and outros, absolutely spread the love, share the message. There's so many people who would benefit from Wayne's story and and all the other episodes. It's the greatest thing we've ever done. I love doing it with guys like yourself, Wayne. It's unreal to get the mems on. So thank you, mate. It's men like you who make this journey worth it. Really is.

Thanks, Al. Appreciate it, mate.

Pleasure, man. Cheers, guys. We'll see you on the next one. Well, that wraps up another episode. And just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you, and then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart, and there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes four or five times and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. And also, if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You've listened to it. Write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak them, believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you can remember and make sure you consistently learn and relearn what is it's true and what is it is important to you in your heart. Take care, have an amazing day, night, weekday weekend, and I'll see you for another one soon. Cheers.